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From author-nim! : Thank you for making my baby a hundred and more reviews! Odium is a painful gift to give, I realized. I'll give two updates within a week then! Oh, by the way. I think I found a good quote again! Haha!

Love Me For Thirty Days

DAY FIVE

Wednesday

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"It often occurs that pride and selfishness are muddled with strength and independence. They are neither equal nor similar; in fact, they are polar opposites. A coward may be so cowardly that he masks his weakness with some false personification of power. He is afraid to love and to be loved because love tends to strip bare all emotional barricades. Without love, strength and independence are prone to losing every bit of their worth; they become nothing more than a fearful, intimidated, empty tent lost somewhere in the desert of self."

― Criss Jami, Killosophy

Humans created images to satisfy others' desires of what they imagined one to be at most times. It was not because they wanted to, rather it was a necessity for them to keep themselves from the bay of social dangers. Especially for those who remained in the limelight, the centre of all attention revolved around that kind of community, the higher-ups in the chain of command. Hence, as they would always said they had a reputation to take care of. And their reputation was what had made them. They were their own dignity, they were what their title – the pride – gave them. And said dignity created layers over layers of boundaries to cover up what of their real characteristics actually were. A bunch of lies to feed off others, created for pleasures of the world.

These kind of people were mere mice, indeed.

However, not many were willing to break the borders to witness the truth inside every person. Supposedly, the true selves almost comes the most beautiful of all forms. It was a pity, actually, how many preferred the surface of the earth but didn't bother to dig up gold. Yes, the comparison seemed to be as similar.

Even the bravest, the strongest, the perfect angels we would saw in one could be that of many flaws – and one that was a coward in deep. Aren't we all humans? In the end, everything we saw in our lives were lies after all – the whitest lies we ever discovered – was within ourselves. The images were created. Well, humans lived to amuse others after all. And what was our reward? We got ourselves the fame but not many were actually, truly happy.

And they began to wonder. . . Thoughts lingered from one and another.

In the end, the one that we seek the most had brought us to the most despair. And to some, to most of these masked individuals we claimed gods and goddesses in mortal worlds would have been caught up with their own lies that they began to believe them themselves. They would forgot what they were really for; what was the truth in them. And that was the most sorrowful one would get.

Akashi Seijuurou was nothing more than that coward. He, who seek for power, was afraid to love. Because love was an odd feeling, because love gave you that fear – the scary thoughts and dreams and opinions, and that love was capable of changing one's opinions and perspectives. Love was what he could describe as outlandish. That bizarre thing thumping in your chest, and you knew it was caused by another person. And that love was powerful enough to make you sweat and yet you were just sitting or standing, no particular heavy activities or whatsoever.

And yet, when one loved another, the quirky strums of emotions either made you strong or weak. Strong enough to have that desire to protect, or weak enough to have your knees buckled and made you wanted to vomit.

Yeah, Akashi Seijuurou didn't know what he was feeling for now. It was of his cowardice, the love in his chest, once blooming was now fading to nothingness. Deep inside, he knew he was remorseful of it. It wasn't what his late mother had taught him supposedly. He wasn't supposed to be unfaithful.

And perhaps, that was why he created a particular image since he was afraid. He created an image of bravery, yet he feigned ignorance to the acrid sentiment that settled deep into the pit of his stomach. It took a lot of effort of creating layers of layers to put his ignorance to work. Now, he was nothing more but a cold-hearted person.

Why, indeed?

The excuses he'd been making to Tetsuya was indeed a cruel lie.

No, he never really needed an heir. He couldn't bother to have a child – well, perhaps if God made alpha omega verse a reality, he would want one. But that wasn't the exact reason, to be honest.

Why was he doing all of these kind of harrowing things, you'd wonder?

Well, that was just because he was power hungry. Yes, after all he did, Akashi Seijuurou became nothing more but a greedy man seeking for power.

Perhaps, it started when he had accepted his father's company – a massive one with its business spreading globally. At first, he was reluctant towards it, but after further trainings and a lot more experiences, Seijuurou found himself attracted toward the business world. Over the years, his interest turned to an addiction, his work became his drug. And that was the first and foremost; the cause of the effects, his relationship with Tetsuya started to fade.

Was it because he didn't want to bother the blunette, he wondered. The blunette was kind, of course, but kindness wasn't a necessary fundamental in the business scheme in his opinion. The red-haired businessman was just too busy. Too busy in the dimension involving social and money and lies, and all he desired for was to be on top of the food chain called hierarchy. With whatever conversations or moments they had, all of them started to decrease and decrease and decrease. As to what occurred now, his love had faded until it was no more but a request for a divorcement.

Or at least, that was what he thought.

Nevertheless, nothing changed much until now. Akashi Seijuurou, supposedly a powerful man now, was still a coward.

He ran away yesterday, not willing to even glimpse toward the worn out blunette. He should feel the least guilty, and he did. Still, the redhead refused to return to his own home just yet. He wasn't ready for any kind of emotions that would swarm him whole. And that doesn't mean he was going to reply to any of Yui's messages.

Right, Seijuurou was selfish.

For now, he wasn't the least bit caring of it.

According to the dominant gender in humanity, women are frightening beasts when they unleashed their emotions. Emotions were like weapons for them; lashing toward their target as if they would wage a third World War. Although emotions were the ones keeping them having strength, it was one of the reasons why it would drown another's as well. Targets ranging commonly from random men to best friends, of course.

Yamanaka Yui was no other different.

She had been seething since yesterday, constantly on look out – had I mentioned them capable of being detectives and spies as well? – toward the phone's screen. The young woman had sent twenty three missed calls and forty text messages but she still had not received any news from the Akashi heir himself.

Of course, yesterday she'd heard him mumble about Tetsuya. Yui wasn't an idiot in particular. She knew who was Tetsuya to begin with – Akashi Tetsuya, mind you – and she knew she was doing an affair.

But the feelings she held was sincere.

. . . It wasn't wrong if you want to love someone despite their status, right?

. . . The love she knew, the love she learnt and the love she experienced – they were most likely the same. As long as it has a pure intention, not like the intentions of bitches and sluts but from a true maiden herself; it was alright.

Yet, deep in her mind had her voices constantly mocking her as hypocrites. Her heart whispered to herself, Yes, you are. You're like that daddy's girlfriend you hated when you were little.

"No, I'm not! This is – This is different! That slut only wanted my dad's dick and his money. . . and when he was bankrupt, she –"

"Yui-chan, are you okay?"

Dark eyes widened.

"R-R-R-Reo Mibuchi. . .?"

". . . Yeah, it's me. . ."

That's called karma.

"SHUUUUT UP!" said dark-haired woman hit her head on the café's table, causing the other man to squeak in surprise. "We – We'll talk later!"

"E-eh, but you said you were going to talk about Sei-chan –"

"Laaaaterr!"

And she ran off, not at all bothering to see about Mibuchi's whereabouts. She knew she was being rude, unladylike even, but what was she supposed to do if she was going to talk to herself?

I'm just depressed right now, she sobbed inwardly, yeah. . . depressed. Stupid Seijuurou-kun for leaving me! Stupid, stupid, stupid voice in my head!

Somewhere in the café, Reo Mibuchi was sipping tea with a confused and shocked face.

"Yui. . ."

"Seijuurou-kun, aargh! You stupid, idiotic, moronic bastard!"

Indeed, said red-haired man cringed when more foul words followed after for quite some time. He had settled himself comfortably in the office, having himself calmed down already. Alas, his girlfriend had forced himself to pick up her call, and now this.

"Calm down a little," he sighed, "What's wrong with you?"

A sob. There was a tiny sob coming from across the line. He inwardly flinched, guilt settled in once more. "You made me worry yesterday. . . We were supposed to go out but then you – I don't know what's your reason and suddenly you just left me alone. . . I- you know I'm scared to be left alone."

"I'm – I'm sorry. . . I can't leave Tetsuya yesterday. He was sick with a really bad fever."

There was a brief pause for a while, even the tiniest cries weren't able to be heard. For a moment, Seijuurou thought she might lash out again. But she didn't.

"Oh. . . Poor Tetsuya-kun. . . I guess it's my fault – I apologise. . ." her voice was tiny and hesitant. Seijuurou knew she might had been embarrassed after all.

"It's okay," he smiled. "You should take a rest now, you sound tired."

"I am, dobe," she giggled like a teenage high schooler, "Good night."

Their conversation ended. For once in the whole day, Seijuurou had felt his heart light as feathers. Yui was nothing more than forgiving when it comes to his spouse, and that was one trait he was actually drawn towards.

Alas, the demonic voice whispered in his head – mocking him till he felt like the lowest, horrible man on Earth. Seijuurou wondered if he was, right now.

And the voice had sent him to realisation.

How foolish could he be, no, how cruel? Indeed, just a few minutes ago, he was expressing his guilt when Yui had told him of her concerns. And what about Tetsuya whom he saw crying night till morning? What about him who had himself pleading with his heart's content? Nothing; Seijuurou did nothing! All he did was feigning ignorance, finding bliss in such actions.

It was mortifying how he gave something to others what he hasn't to Tetsuya.

Like crystals, briny tears rolled down his cheeks without him noticing. And when he did, he consumed more of the heavy feeling. Alone in the spacious office room, Seijuurou, supposedly a corporate holder and general manager, was nothing more but an ordinary, cowardly human.

It was late when he reached home, his visage showing fatigue and depression. Yet, he took a breather for a minute and opened the door slowly with his keys rattling to every jostling movement. The living room, just as he suspected even though disappointment inside him doubled, was utterly dark.

"I'm home. . ." he muttered to himself – or at least, he wished Tetsuya would hear it. It was when he had heard a sleepy mumble from the settee from afar. Quickly, the lights were flipped open and there, revealed a small figure. He flinched at first, and then he realised it was Tetsuya who had been waiting for him for hours, now snoozing languidly by the couch. The redhead felt aggrieved at first, he shuffled closer to the sleeping blunette. He heard the blunette muttered a few more words that didn't really make any sense.

Looking at Tetsuya as he was in now had made Seijuurou thought that he looked slightly a few years younger. It reminded him a few recollections back when they were in high school. Often, they stayed at each other's house – even when Tetsuya had to go to Kyoto, but he was willing to. Seijuurou felt himself missing the moments they had together. . . but of course, everything would end within another twenty five days.

He leaned closer to Tetsuya and landed a kiss on the forehead and stroked the baby blue tufts tenderly. The blunette groaned slightly, stirring to the side and he smiled dreamily. The upright curl, even if Tetsuya was still asleep, actually caused Seijuurou to smile as well. In a crouching state he was, the redhead continued to stroke his spouse's locks for a moment.

"Mmm. . . Se-Sei?"

". . . Hey," said Seijuurou, sheepishly.

"I got you some dinner," he smiled groggily, finding himself lulling back to slumber, "I made your favourite by the way." Maya blue eyes rolled, a second later he was snoring once more.

"Oh."

What more should he say?

Emotions ran wild in his heart. No, it was different from what he was feeling with Yui. With Yui he was calm, but when it came to Tetsuya it was like his heart was losing control. When he raced toward the kitchen with long, large strides he felt conflicted again. It was just. . . Tetsuya was just too kind. Supposedly, it was a flaw.

But this flaw was a beautiful one, he realised. One that brought him back to senses and yet made him lose control over his mind and body. One that created butterflies in the pit of his stomach. One that was unnerving and exciting.

He felt his legs dropped, and his vision lowered, sinking lower till his entire legs met the mosaic floors. The note in his hand was placed near his lap, the paper getting thinner and much transparent with his rivulets trickling down.

I'm sorry, the note said.

Why was he apologising? Tetsuya never really did any faults in their relationship. Tetsuya was nothing but an innocent being, kind and gentle and sweet being paired with a demon. He was that demon – a sick, unfaithful yet cowardly demon he was.

Love was indeed an odd feeling.

TO BE CONTINUED

Mozu : I'm. . . I'm gonna run away now. Hehehe. Oh, do take mind. I changed the plot to something MUCH SADDER HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm going to make Yui slightly comical since she had that childish trait.

Kise : You demon! *cries*

READ ODIUM! It's out now! Please! *desperate plea*

-Mozu The Mochi (2015)