It's 12 AM. I am sick and sleep. Here is chapter 13.

Disclaimer: We do not own Jessie.

Chapter 13: The Color Red

Ravi has been nervously checking the time on his phone every three minutes or so since he got home. His leg bounces as he sits on the living room couch, glancing back at the elevator every few seconds. He alternates between running a hand through his hair, and rubbing said hand against his bandaged arm which oddly enough gives him comfort. The text that he received about twenty minutes ago didn't do anything except cause his anxiety to worsen as Ravi awaited the inevitable events that were sure to happen.

Grayson Sinclair coming to his house.

He hasn't stopped thinking about the fact that the boy with captivating topaz eyes would soon be coming to his home to work on a project that Ravi still isn't sure he'll be able to fully focus on. And the knowledge that he's probably going to act like a complete fool just heightens his nerves. It's become apparent to him that whenever Grayson was in proximity, he gains the ability to sound like a baboon and feel like someone set fire to his blood. And he's never been like that around anyone before. Nervous, apprehensive, and scared, yes. And all for good reason. But never the way he found himself acting the few times Grayson was near him.

It's all really weird and confusing to Ravi. And fact of the matter is, he's most definitely going to be in the same predicament the minute Grayson walks into the apartment.

The more rational part of his mind tells Ravi that his nervous ticks and worrying are ridiculous. He shouldn't be over reacting to this. This is no different than having to study with any of his siblings, or even Dana for that matter (if his siblings or Dana had beautiful hazel eyes, deep dimples, a sultry smile, you get the point). It will simply be two guys casually working on a school project in the penthouse and nothing more. The more irrational side of Ravi, however, thinks that he will probably have a stroke the minute Grayson comes.

And a smaller part of Ravi feels like there's more to it, but he pushes that away for the time being.

Ravi has been convincing himself that the reason he's so nervous is due to his awkwardness, lack of social skills, and lack of friends. He can't remember the last time he's had someone come over to do homework, or just in general. The last few times he had to do a group project, the group either worked on it in school or made him do all the work. Never did they offer to come to his home nor did they offer to do their fair share of the work. So naturally, Ravi would feel uneasy about it, especially given his past experiences with high school students and basketball players.

Yup. That is the only logical explanation.

Ravi checks his phone again. 4:24. The last time he checked, it was 4:21. He's been checking the time every three minutes exactly. He feels like throwing his phone at a wall so he can get a grip on himself, but then he'd probably run both hands through his hair until it all falls out. And what's the use of a broken phone anyway? How will Grayson text him if he needs to?

His siblings reacted just as he would have expected. Zuri showed indifference, Luke looked skeptical but seemed alright with it, and Emma's face turned beet red and she had this dreamy look in her eyes for maybe two seconds. And Jessie seemed thrilled that Ravi is making friends even though he tried to explain to her that they aren't really friends. Just two guys working on a school project. He barely knew Grayson to call him a friend anyway.

Though the idea of being friends with him is appealing…

At 4:27, Ravi's phone buzzes.

Grayson 4:27 P.M

So i think i'm here. do i just take the elevator up?

Ravi's heart skips a beat. He's early, he thinks to himself as he fumbles with his phone to respond quicker than he probably should have.

Ravi 4:27 P.M

Yeah. All the way up to the penthouse.

He shakily listens as a doorman's (not Tony) voice comes through the intercom on the wall, letting Ravi know that there is a visitor for the Ross family. Ravi nearly falls off the couch and stumbles to the intercom to quickly stutter a response, letting the doorman know that it is okay to send the person up. If Ravi thought he was nervous before, he's having an aneurism now.

Ravi steps back and watches as the small screen above the elevator indicates that it's moving up from the first floor. He dances from foot to foot, wondering how much he really needs to do this project right this second. There's no rush, right? It's not due for another two months. Maybe he can postpone it until later. Maybe he can make a run for it before the elevator gets to the apartment, and make up something about him being sick, or send one of his siblings to tell Grayson that Ravi left the country.

But Ravi doesn't have time to decide on that because within seconds the elevator has reached the penthouse (curse this stupidly fast elevator!) and it's dinging, and the doors are opening and the inevitable is approaching. Ravi holds his breath, wishing for his speeding heart to stop making audible thumps (at least he's pretty sure it's audible).

Grayson steps out of the elevator coolly, looking around before his eyes land on Ravi and those dimples slash his cheeks. "Hey."

"H-hey." Ravi smiles, trying to keep his attention off Grayson's dimples. "You, er, got here fast."

Grayson nods. "Yeah, I just ubered it."

Ravi nods back. The awkward silence falls on them as they stand there staring at anything but each other: the wall, the floor, the ceiling, the piano. The awkwardness grows on as neither boy knows what to do or say next. And Ravi's heart is beating to fast and throat feels constricted, so even if he wants to talk, it would probably sound like a frog croaking instead.

Finally, Grayson speaks up first, gesturing to the couch. "So, should we stay in here or is there somewhere else we can go?"

Ravi looks between Grayson and the couch. "Umm, no we can, uh, we can stay in here."

Grayson heads over to the couch first, and Ravi scurries after him. He must already look stupid, making Grayson stand there by the elevator in awkward silence instead of inviting him in like a normal person. Two minutes in to having Grayson in his house and he's already failing as a host.

"Pretty convenient that you have an elevator that goes into your apartment, huh?"

Ravi blinks out of his inner scolding. "Wha— oh. Yeah, uh, yeah I guess."

They both sit on the couch. Grayson relaxes right away. "Don't you ever get scared that someone might break in?" Grayson looks so comfortable already, and it's not even his house! How can he look so calm and collected when Ravi can barely sit next to him without being distracted by his smooth, olive skin?

Ravi shakes his head. "I though the same thing when I first came, but we have a personal key for the elevator that let's in. And we have security too so…"

Grayson nods. And more awkward silence follows. Ravi really wishes he could be better at making conversation. He wishes he wasn't so verbally and socially challenged. He can almost hear Grayson thinking how boring Ravi is to himself.

"Alright." Grayson finally says. "Do you wanna get started?"

"Uh, y-yeah," Ravi splutters, "yeah we should get started."

Grayson reaches into his bag and pulls out his Astronomy textbook. Ravi finds himself momentarily distracted by his toned forearm, but when Grayson catches his eye, he pretends to be busy with his laptop. "So how should we start this thing?"

Ravi glances at him from his laptop. He hadn't thought about how they should proceed with the project. He's been too busy freaking out over this little study session. "Uh, w-well, I, uh, guess we can start by…" by what? How is he supposed to know or come up with an answer? "…uh, by defining the different lunar phases and giving an explanation for each." That doesn't sound too bad, considering the fact that Ravi just pulled that out of his ass. It actually sounds like he's put some thought into this.

"Different lunar phases…" Grayson repeats. "Right. I know that. That's like the full moon and stuff, right?"

Ravi nods. "Yes, the full moon is a part of it."

"Uh," Grayson mutters, flipping a little through the textbook, "and then there's like the… umm…" Ravi tries hard to fight a giggle as Grayson tries to figure out the other lunar phases. "Uh, the halfmoon, right?"

"Technically it's first quarter or third quarter." Ravi says. "But you're close."

"First quarter and third quarter…" Grayson's face scrunches up in a way Ravi thinks is really cute. He fails to hide his blush at thinking this. "What's the difference? Why not just go with one?"

"Well it all depends on the positioning of the Earth, moon, and sun." Ravi says. He knows lunar phases like the back of his hand having studied it a lot in India. "The first quarter moon occurs some time after a full moon since we can only see half of the part of the moon that reflects the sun. And the third quarter occurs before the full moon—" Ravi abruptly stops when he realizes that he's rambling. He hates it when he gets too caught up in what he's saying and forgets himself. He used to do it all the time when he first started American school, and it only got him bullied and beat up because nobody cared about his 'nerd knowledge'. Grayson doesn't want to hear about all of this. "Sorry." Ravi shrinks back, looking down at his hands. "I got carried away…"

Grayson furrows his eyebrows, having actually been interested in Ravi's explanation. "No, it's okay. Don't apologize. I really don't know this stuff anyway so you explaining it to me is doing me a solid." He flashes a smile which makes Ravi blush harder.

It takes a minute for it to register in Ravi's mind that Grayson wants to hear more of what Ravi was saying, which is surprising more so because no one ever wants to hear Ravi discuss things like this. Nevertheless, Ravi reaches for the Astronomy text book Grayson is holding and with shaky fingers flips to the chapter that talks about Lunar phases.

"S-so this," Ravi points to a diagram of the lunar phases, "is the full moon, but I'm sure you know that already. This next one is called waxing gibbous, where we can only see about seventy-five percent of the portion of the moon that reflects sunlight." Ravi glances up and sees that Grayson is glancing between the book and Ravi with interest. Ravi continues. "Then we have the first-quarter, and then the waxing crescent."

"Waxing crescent." Grayson repeats. "I knew it had an actual name. I've been calling it a wedge the entire time. And my cousin's been calling it a toenail."

Ravi laughs. A very short, breathy laugh that catches him completely off guard. Grayson smiles back, giving Ravi a bubbly feeling because his smile is so warm. Ravi recovers himself and continues explaining to Grayson the different lunar phases, their names, and why they look the way they do. Grayson looks like he's clinging to Ravi's every word. As though it's the first time he's ever heard it explained, and Ravi is making all the sense in the world.

"Wow you know your stuff." Grayson states when Ravi is finished. "What are you, some sort of astronomy expert?"

Ravi blushes once again and shakes his head. "Not really. This is just some basic stuff."

"You sure as hell know more 'basic stuff' than I do. Has this always come so easy to you?"

Ravi shrugs. "I-I mean, I guess. I used to study the moon and stars a lot back in India. Part of the reason why I decided to take Astronomy."

"Oh, so you're at a higher advantage than the rest of us, huh?" Grayson says, raising an eyebrow.

Ravi blushes again, but more from nervousness. "Uh, I just… I, uh—"

Grayson cuts him off with a short laugh. "Dude, relax. I'm only kidding. It's really cool that you know so much about this."

Ravi smiles. "Really?" Grayson nods. "You're the first person to think that. Nobody… nobody ever thinks I'm cool…" He's heard a lot of things said about him. Some nice, most negative. But never that anything he says or does is cool, or anything close to cool. He can't help but wonder if Grayson is playing a prank on him. Some kind of stunt where Grayson wins Ravi's trust only for him to dunk a bucket of nasty stuff all over Ravi. It's probably being recorded right now, and broadcasted for the entire school to see. This is probably the irrational part of Ravi's brain speaking, but Ravi can't see any logical reason for Grayson, handsome star basketball player, to think Ravi is cool.

Grayson shrugs as he absentmindedly replies to something on his phone. "I must be 'nobody' then. Can't really see how that's true though. Some people must be real dipshits."

Ravi laughs another short laugh, fighting against his rising blush. Grayson Sinclair think's I'm cool? He can't think of ever receiving a greater compliment than somebody telling him he's cool. Especially someone like Grayson Sinclair. Ravi wants to sit there and think about the fact that Grayson think's he's cool, but the awkward silence is starting to build again and that easy, conversational air has suddenly vanished. Ravi clears his throat. "But, uh, but anyway…"

Ravi spends the next ten to twenty minutes further explaining the lunar phases to Grayson, stopping every so often to answer any questions he might have. The more Ravi explains, the easier he thinks it is to be so close to Grayson without losing his train of thought. But once Grayson moves closer to him, his mind goes blank and his tongue stops working and he's back to a blubbering mess. But at least he's somewhat improving. And what's better is Grayson looks content in listening to what Ravi is telling him. He looks as if he's really enjoying himself.

Once they finish and Ravi gets over how close Grayson is to him, they decide to officially start making progress on their project. Ravi would love more than anything to continue talking about lunar phases so Grayson could be close to him and look at him with the same interest from before. But rationally, he can't just talk Grayson's ear off for the next hour about the moon and sun. Grayson is sure to eventually become bored of the topic. Anyone would be.

Grayson is quick to pull up a PowerPoint and declare that they start right away on that, to which Ravi fails at concealing a chuckle.

"What?" Grayson asks in confusion. "Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing? Working on a PowerPoint?"

"Yeah," Ravi says, "but we don't even have any information to put on the slides yet."

Grayson makes a face like he's just realized he's said the dumbest person in the world. "Oh. Right…"

"We should probably just do some research for now and write down some information."

And that's what they proceed to do for the next hour. They both look through the textbook and on Google for anything they think would be useful in their project, and take notes on it as they go. Ravi seems right in his element the entire time, making an outline and bullet points and paraphrasing as if he does it in his sleep. Grayson catches himself watching in amazement every time Ravi writes something down, not finding any difficulty in what he's looking for. Grayson looks at his own disorganized notes, which don't at all look as lengthy and detailed as Ravi's, and he suddenly gets the feeling that he's doing everything wrong. Grayson mentions this, followed by his inability to take proper notes.

"There's nothing wrong with them." Ravi says after looking over what Grayson's done. "They're not bad at all." Which is true. Grayson's notes are way better than what Ravi expected. They're a little unorganized, but it's still good. Better than anything anyone else has done when they did a project with Ravi.

Grayson's confidence seemed to pick up after Ravi's approval, and they continued to work. As the hour passes, Ravi's previous nerves about Grayson being in his house somewhat disappeared. He's gradually becoming comfortable around Grayson, and even though he still blushes when their eyes meet and he still can't help but stare at him (as creepy as that sounds), more time that passes, the more it becomes easier to talk to and be near Grayson. When it's almost six o'clock, Ravi closes the lid of his laptop in triumph. "I think we've done enough for today. It's getting late so I guess we can stop here."

Grayson nods, closing his textbook and stretching. "Good. My brain is fried." Ravi doesn't fail to notice how Grayson's shirt rises a bit, revealing the smallest amount of skin on his abdomen. He averts his eyes quickly and tries to busy himself with putting his things away. "It was a good start thought, right?"

Ravi looks up. "Yeah. It was."

And, the awkward silence is back. They sit there for a good thirty seconds, looking around the room as if they've never seen it before. The comfortable ease Ravi felt when they were working is starting to dissipate, and he's getting that anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach again. He wants to start a conversation, but the only thing that comes to mind is 'your eyes are beautiful', and 'you have a great smile'. Grayson also looks like he has something that he wants to say, and is about to say it but is cut off at once when Jessie enters the living room, talking on the phone.

"…I've already emailed you the paper work and scheduled the meeting. Yeah, alright. I'll see you then." She hangs up the phone with an exasperated sigh, and turns to the two teenagers as if only now remember them.

"Hi, I almost forgot Ravi said a friend was coming over today." She smiles, her voice cheerier than ever. Ravi tries not to cringe at the fact that Jessie just said Grayson is his friend since they've only spent time together for an hour, and hardly know each other. She walks over, her hand out. "I'm Jessie, their nanny."

Grayson flashes his perfect smile back, dimples and all. "Nice to meet you. I'm Grayson Sinclair." He takes Jessie's hand and shakes.

"You guys get any work done?" Jessie asks.

"Yeah, we just finished." Ravi says too quickly, with the sudden desire to make Jessie go away so he can be alone with Grayson. He's not sure why he wants to be alone with him since all that will happen is more awkward silence though.

Jessie nods. "That's great. Did you want to stay for dinner? I think we're having shrimp alfredo tonight." Ravi doesn't think Jessie or Grayson see the way his eyes grow wide with panic at Jessie's dinner invite. It's one thing to study with Grayson, but for him to be sitting right next to Ravi at the dinner table around his whole family while Ravi blushes madly every time he utters a word is not how Ravi planned on the evening going.

But to his relief (and disappointment), Grayson says, "Thanks for the invite, but I actually have to get home. Gotta babysit my younger cousins tonight and my aunt will kill me if I'm late." Ravi sends a silent thank you to Grayson's aunt, wherever she is.

"Alright, well, the invite is still open for a later date. You're welcome over any time." Grayson thanks her and Jessie walks into the kitchen, the door swinging behind her.

Grayson stands, grabbing his bookbag. "I should get going." Ravi stands up after him and follows him to the elevator, pressing a little too hard on the button that calls it.

And for probably the hundredth time, awkward silence follows, and it's at a point where Ravi just finds it ridiculously annoying. How many times is he going to find it hard to speak in his own house?!But he doesn't do anything about it because the elevator reaches the penthouse in no time, the soft ding filling the silent apartment. Grayson turns to Ravi. "So, I guess I'll see you later." He holds out a fist to Ravi. Ravi's first instinct is to flinch away because past experiences have told him that nothing good every comes with a fist. But when Grayson's fist continues to hang in the air, Ravi realizes that Grayson isn't going to hit him. On the contrary, actually.

Grayson wants a fist bump.

Ravi's heart jumps with giddy. Nobody has ever offered Ravi a fist bump. Well, except for maybe Luke but that has always been on rare occasion, and has only started happening more recently. And they're brothers so that doesn't count. Ravi forgets what to do for a whole five seconds, the signals not going to his hand that he should ball it up and connect it with Grayson's. But the tension and awkwardness are rising again, and the elevator doors are going to close soon, and Ravi will beat himself up for the rest of his life if he doesn't return the fist bump. So, Ravi makes a fist and connects it with Grayson's. The older boy smiles, which makes Ravi smile back shyly. They drop their hands and Grayson walks into the elevator. And everything would've been fine and they could have left it at that. But right before the elevator doors close, Grayson calls out something that makes Ravi's stomach do at least three backflips.

"I'll text you later!"

And then the doors close and the elevator shoots down, taking the topaz eyed, dimpled basketball player with it, leaving Ravi in a stuttering mess, trying to process the fact that Grayson Sinclair said he would text Ravi later.

Ravi shoots up in bed, his heart thumping much faster than it should be and his body shaking like an earth quake. His t-shirt is drenched in cold sweat and he's somehow become a tangled mess with his blankets. He's breathing has quickened so much that he's now wheezing, and he's sure that he's going to pass out from the intensity of the panic attack. He feels like running away and hiding and throwing up and bursting into flames all at once. His room, though the lights are turned off, looks like it's spinning uncontrollably. He wants more than anything for the room to stop spinning and his heart to stop racing and for the red images in his head to go away, but the more he tries to calm down, the worse it gets.

Ravi closes his eyes, his breaths coming in and out far too fast. He can't focus on what he's doing because the room is extremely hot and the walls feel like they're screaming at him, but he begins to do the one and only thing that has proven to help his panic attacks. He starts counting backwards from ten in between his wheezing breaths.

"10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…"

Ravi relaxes. Everything is back to normal, or somewhat normal. His body isn't shaking as much, the tremors slowly going away. His pulse is at a normal speed and the room doesn't feel like a volcano anymore. He sits there for a while, still tangled in his blankets like a tornado. His t-shirt suddenly feels very uncomfortable on him in it's sweat drenched state. Ravi tugs at it and pulls it off, flinging it to the side. He'll pick it up later if he remembers. The temperature of the room hits his damp back, sending a shiver up his spine. He can't bring himself to get a different shirt yet, feeling too exhausted to get out of bed. For now, he just needs to sit and get his bearings.

It was a dream that caused the panic attack. Ravi knows it. He has that feeling you have when you wake up abruptly from a dream where you were doing or saying something intense. The only problem is, he can't remember what it was about. He could remember it maybe two seconds after he woke up, but now the entire thing has slipped from his mind, and he's now clueless as to what it was about, or who was in it. All he can remember is the color red splashing around the dream. But other than that, nothing.

And it's just so frustrating. Waking up and not remembering your dreams is one thing, and it's usually normal. It happens all the time. But having a dream induced panic attack and not remember why is on a whole different level. It feels like his subconscious is bullying him, tormenting his mind when he's asleep with horrid images, only to make him forget the minute he wakes up. It's as if his mind wants to torment him until he's gone crazy. Maybe he is already starting to go crazy…

He can still see splashes of red. Ravi can't find a context behind it, not seeing the relation between a red object and his anxiety. It seems so absurd. But then again, he's not even sure what happened in the dream, so red could mean literally anything.

Ravi sighs, and falls back against his pillows, his now damp back hitting the warm sheets. He looks at the time on his phone. 1:17 A.M. It's still late, and he's exhausted. He should probably just get back to sleep, and sleep off the ordeal that happened. Harry adjust his blankets and sheets so they're not all over the place and turns over, closing his eyes in a feeble attempt to sleep again. He tosses and turns for what feels like hours though, unable to fall back asleep. He can't get the image of red out of his head. Red floors, red walls, red chairs. It's all that dances across his mind until an hour passes and he finally sits up in defeat. He can't go back to sleep. Not yet anyway. There's no use trying to when there is so much going through his mind.

What's so significant about the color red that makes it standing out to him the most from that dream? Why is that the only thing he remembers? He's absolutely sure he didn't have a nightmare about the color red because not only is that ridiculous, but there's really no way that could have triggered a panic attack. It all doesn't make sense. And he's never had dreams based around a single color before, or any dream that caused him to remember red and only red.

Actually, come to think of it, that's not entirely true. Ravi very vaguely remembers the presence of red in the dream he had when he slept in Luke's room that one time. The same dream that he also couldn't remember for the life of him. The only thing he can recall, however, is small spots of red popping in and out and around in a disorderly way. He wishes he could know more about whatever was going one with him and his subconscious, or at least enough so he could anticipate future attacks, and help to prevent it.

Ravi, having decided that he no longer wants to stay in his room, swings his legs off the bed and stands up. He grabs a clean t-shirt from one of his drawers, and tugs it on before quietly leaving his room. The darkness of the hall calls to him like it did before, wanting to haunt him and torment him and drag him back into the abyss he's been trying to escaped. He walks over to the next best place he can think of and knocks on the door, hoping to god that the person will answer.

Luke opens his bedroom door, his eyes squinting a bit as he tries to stifle a yawn. His eyes land on Ravi and the sleepiness mixes with confusion and concern. "Ravi? What's up man? Is everything okay?"

Ravi gives him a small shrug. "I, uh, can't sleep. Bad dream." He knows it's a half truth, but he can't tell Luke that he just had a panic attack about the color red popping up in a dream he can't remember, not only because it's ludicrous, but because he doesn't want Luke to worry unnecessarily about him. He's already been doing that enough. Why stress him about something that's probably not that serious? "Can I sleep in here?"

Luke nods without hesitation. "Yeah, sure bro."

"Thanks." Ravi mutters as Luke holds the door wide open so Ravi can come in.

Luke closes the door. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Ravi shakes his head and sits on the edge of the bed. There's nothing too talk about. "Not really. It was only a dream that freaked me out a little. And I just don't really want to be by myself right now, if that's okay with you."

Luke nods like his life depends on it. "Of course it's okay." He yawns, and walks over to the other side of the bed, making the weight of the bed shake. "Do you need anything else?"

"No." Ravi says, finally feeling drowsy enough to effectively fall asleep. That mixed with the exhaustion he felt before makes him want to bury under the covers and sleep for ten years. He's actually grateful that the feeling is back after being wide awake for an hour. "I just want some sleep."

"Okay then." Luke gets under his covers and lays back down. Ravi follows suit. "Just let me know if you need anything else, alright?" Ravi mutters a response, which seems sufficient enough for Luke because he turns over, utters a, "Goodnight," and is out like a light.

Ravi stares at the dark ceiling for a moment. The color red, he thinks to himself. There has to be something significant about it, and why he keeps dreaming about it. There has to be some reason why it's frightening him into a panic attack. He wants so desperately to tell someone about it so at least one other person will know. But the thought of stressing out his family more than he already has seems much worse to him. They're all doing so much to accommodate for him and his issues as it is. Adding panic attacks to the already tall pile seems like it would be too overwhelming. It's already overwhelming him, let alone other people. No, he'll keep it to himself, and sort it out for now. He'll figure out why the color red is of so much importance.

But for now, he needs sleep. Ravi closes his eyes, and within minutes is drifting back into an uninterrupted sleep.

What a fun, short chapter. Short of a filler before we get to the good stuff. Writing can sometimes be so difficult because you want to get to the big stuff right away, but you have to fill in the holes before you can get there. And those holes are always difficult. But this shall suffice.

Reviews are nice. If you liked, please review.

-Bye Felicia