Credits :

Guest

superjunior101315

Japan lover 4839

MaiaLoveOreos

Animaddict

Akakuro Seiya

Guest

Visitor from ao3

Yue

AyakiStory

Belle'Masque

nawdah

paradox

otomezone

XienRue

Tetchin

Akakuro

thepockywhowrites

reginefrance09

Daygon Yuuki

NOTE : 200 or no update. . .? Too evil? Nah, I'm just joking. Two people bawled, I'm sorry I haven't update. /sighs

Love Me For Thirty Days

DAY NINE

Sunday

.

.

.

"Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection."

― Lady Gaga

What is trust?

They said it's the most fragile thing you'd come to know. They warned others to be wary around trust, that is to hold and tend it with the upmost care. They said trust is a bliss to gain, but a burden to carry. And trust was given to you as a bestowal from someone special, a reward from the time and patience you had to endure. The impeccable definition itself told such matter beautiful, yet not many was aware of the ugly side effects they had to face once the tables turned. According to a certain redhead, trust is. . . well, when one trusted his heart to someone else. And trust formed love. And trust is when they showed all their vulnerabilities to those who had received their love.

Akashi Seijuurou knew that he deserved every bit of remorse biting back at his pride, the thoughts of his mostly about Tetsuya and how his heart betrayed his supposedly eternal lover. The blunette's trust was thrown away as if it was nothing but a fruitless junk. And that was why he was in no way to beg for forgiveness now despite the fact that day by day, his icy cold heart was melting like an iceberg shrinking from global warming. For a few days now, he felt that heat – the warmth that lingered – and his emotions were beginning to get mixed up, confused and funny all over. Like they were running wild, conflicted between the Sahara's heat or Arctic's frozen winter. Yet, he knew he deserved nothing out of Tetsuya. Even if whatever curiosity fighting his ice-melted soul, the brilliant mind of him seemed to be holding him back and made him stay put. The redhead knew Tetsuya had secrets of his own, but after yesterday – was he seriously going to continue the chase? Seijuurou sighed, was it possible to regain the blunette's trust? Perhaps, because of what he did that Tetsuya was reluctant of telling him whatever was in his mind. . . or the envelope.

Trust was indeed a difficult thing to maintain. Trust was too fragile, much to the redhead's chagrin, like a mirror made pure from glass. It was when the mirror shattered into shards and pieces, it would never be as similar as before no matter how much a repairman could glue the remnants together. Reconsidering there would be obvious cracks and gaps that would be impossible to enclose it as one, fine masterpiece as it was previously. And that was the kind of sorrow he wanted to avoid.

The redhead sighed for the umpteenth time of the day – despite the morning's sunshine yet to come. He wasn't able to get even a few blinks of sleep last night. Beside him, the blunette was gently sighing in his sleep, sporadically tossing about or arms tangled in between the pillow that was supposed to be beneath his head. Tetsuya's face was the most serene in his sleeps. Not that Seijuurou would want to admit, but he quite enjoyed watching the latter sleeping soundly.

And unfortunately, he had to get up. He had an. . . appointment – alright, damn, he was courting the Yamanaka lady today. After a few coaxes last night, he managed to squeeze out a promise – in between the cries and bickers of the ebony-haired woman – that he'd take her somewhere before she gets back to her own hometown. The day was today. Luckily, there wasn't anything to be done at home as well. He just hoped Tetsuya might be just fine. Seijuurou puffed out a cloud of air, as he rose to his feet and left the sleeping blunette unattended.

Once again, the blunette woke up to straighten his arms and found out there wasn't anyone beside him. Again, the odd feeling crawled up to his spine. That similar space was what he dreaded the most. Looking at the emptiness beside him, nothing but the crinkles of the sheets proved the existence of Akashi Seijuurou. He'd been saying it to himself that maybe Seijuurou waking up next to him would start to be a norm. Guess it was just his mind playing games on him again. Of course, it wasn't like every day would be a repeat of the same routine. Sometimes, other people needed a change of their life. Right, he knew that. And Tetsuya was thinking that perhaps, he needed the fresh air more than Seijuurou do. Although today. . . instead of the common blank expression, he felt rather lonely. The uneasiness unbearable to the blunette, and he stifled a silent whimper. It was just like what he thought. Seijuurou may not need him anymore. But he did. He knew Seijuurou was strong enough, never really needed a companion by his side. But he did.

The gossamer string of tears crawled out from the baby blue pools but he immediately wiped them away. He steered away from the bed, taming his wild mane into a much comfortable-looking hairstyle. He puffed; It seemed like he was going to be alone as well for today. Yet, just as he did, his iPhone 5s (finally, a good use of it!) rang from the table top. He looked at the flashing screen, bearing the name Kagami-kun on it.

"Kagami-kun?"

"Hey, Kuroko, er, Tetsu. . ." he trailed off, mumbling of the inconvenience of surnames and such, "The Seirin team are having a reunion party tonight. You want to join?"

Azure eyes widened. Oh, he had totally forgotten about it. A few weeks ago, Riko did called him to tell him about the reunion. Why did he forgot about it already? Tetsuya swallowed. "Yeah, sure. . . What time is it again?"

"Eight. We're thinking of playing a game too," he heard the redhead laughed from the line, "We all missed that."

"Me too." He smiled.

The blunette made up his mind. Tonight, he'd forget about Akashi Seijuurou. Just for a day. He exhaled, somewhat feeling a little bad for giving his husband a taste of his own karma. Yet, it was what he needed too – a night out, just drinking and chilling. There was these voices starting to appear at the back of his mind, screaming the mantra of "Just do it!". The invitation was already tempting enough.

I'll just go out for a while. . . he firmly nodded to his own decisions.

"Kuro – damn it, Tetsu. . .?" The one from across the line was reluctant toward the non-existent reply he was giving. Breaking out from his trance, he quickly apologised toward the other redhead. "I'll go," he quickly said, although the tight voice gave away his desperateness.

"See you. . ."

Apparently, the Akashi heir wasn't having it that night. At first, his curiosity piqued when he came home with the blunette searching for his trainers inside the shoe rack, and was properly dressed up for some outing. His spouse only gave him a blank look – one that sent him to an endless pit of guilt but also a raging temper seething in the back of his head. He held back his tongue, gritting his teeth along as he hoped his voice wasn't going to be tight and hoarse. Unfortunately, standing there wasn't doing any good. He saw Tetsuya quickened his movements, tying the second last shoe lace with his slender fingers trembling along the way. The curiosity did not cease. Alas, his heart won over his – much more rational – mind and he blown it. Out came the dreaded envy – no, not quite yet. He was never envious of Tetsuya. He was jealous to whoever was bringing the blunette out. The question spilt out, and he sealed back his lips upon the hardened glare Tetsuya flashed him.

"You went out this morning, and I didn't ask anything."

"Well –" He clasped the frail wrist, surprised to see that he was getting skinnier than before.

"Sei-kun, just let me off for tonight." But the hold tightened, firm and strong and hurting the flinching blunette.

The redhead looked hesitant. He was afraid. Afraid of Tetsuya and their broken bond of trust. Afraid that he might never returned home. He was extremely afraid that the karma wasn't something he could handle. This exact moment, he knew that Tetsuya was always his pillar of strength. That whatever restrained his energy from his work, or whatever occurred in the outside world, he would returned home to see the patience and strength held in those beautiful azure eyes. He realised he needed the strength. "A-Alright," he gulped, releasing his tight hold as if he was freeing a caged bird all along.

Tetsuya saw those mismatched eyes; noticed the swirl of emotions running beneath the raw sienna and crimson. He smiled softly. After all, no other characteristics could compete over this soft heart of his. Touching the warm cheek belonging to the reluctant redhead, he whispered slowly. "We might as well do the deal for today."

Seijuurou nodded and leaned forward, closing the gap that often became their barriers in between. Their lips finally touched. The kiss felt foreign, because it was a day without kisses and they were scared on how much their emotions would take them farther. Even so, Seijuurou wanted to experiment on this much longer. Overall, he had to admit, he missed this moment. The moment their lips sealed and nothing else mattered. Prying his eyes opened, he glanced over the blue pools of cerulean skies peeping back at him. Once the blunette gasped, embarrassed, he invited his tongue inside, clashing against Tetsuya's own pink flesh.

Meanwhile, Tetsuya's mind was reeling. His visions hazy from the fervent kisses, and he was starting to become weak-kneed. Of all sort of kisses, the open-tongue one was the least he expected. Yet, in the midst of the make-out session – he felt his back thudded against the wall and he clutched Seijuurou's collar – the redhead was smirking and he nibbled the lower lip playfully before fully releasing the lip lock. He stroked the azure tufts, this time he kissed on top of the forehead before untangling their arms together, not that they took heed of them when they were. . . well, fulfilling the deal. Before, the mischief was plain obvious in the heterochromia eyes. But amidst of it, Tetsuya noticed the sorrow that began to take over the devilish, contented look.

"Hey," he stroked Seijuurou's cheeks. "Sei –"

And yet, the redhead interrupted him. He pushed the blunette away before strolling deeper into the living room. "You're late. . . Just. . . Just come back, okay?"

"Okay. . ."

Seijuurou trusted him.

Even with their fucked up relationship, Seijuurou trusted him. Even when Seijuurou didn't really love him anymore, he trusted the blunette. Trust. . . It was the thing he held dear. The beautiful element known as trust, was what Seijuurou was entrusting him at the moment. He wasn't even sure anymore. Both of them were confused. Still, he nodded and flashed his best smiles.

He repeated again, this time clear and determined. "Okay."

Yet, Akashi Tetsuya didn't return early that night.

No, it was a quarter to midnight – midnight! Seijuurou was starting to doubt his spouse, the teensy feeling growing out of him. There was something else too, a typical emotion he endured for a long time too yet it was stronger than the doubt he just experienced. The fear was crawling into him. Whatever Tetsuya was hiding, he was scared that maybe it had got to do something with. . . well. . . deaths? He couldn't think of the blunette sprawled on the ground, murdered by chronic disease or something. It was a painful muse, and his doubt disappeared, replaced by the common fear dwelling permanently in his chest.

He wasted no more time.

Screw the outdoor garments, he wanted no other thing but to find Tetsuya. There were many possibilities to where the blunette might be, missing or perhaps lost – but he never been lost in his entire time – or still, chilling inside the bar with his drunkard buddies. He hoped it wasn't either three of them. But what else could he be doing? Slipping into his car, the redhead instantly reached out to his phone and dialled Taiga's number. Fortunately, the other redhead picked up after the fourth rings.

"Akashi? Why're you calling me?"

"Are you still with Tetsuya?"

"Ku – Tetsu?" The other latter sounded genuinely confused, or in other words, the increased volume meant that even Taiga was starting to get panic. "He went home an hour ago!"

An hour ago? He must've reached home by now.

"Oh. . . Alright, thanks."

Albeit, when he crossed the third neighbourhood away from the condominium blocks they lived in, his eyes caught sight of a certain flash of blue curled up like a ball in some neighbourhood's park. What is he doing here?! The redhead swallowed, in fear to what his imagination gave him recently. He didn't mind the midnight breeze biting his skin like knives. He rushed from his car to the blunette he knew so well. The distance between them decreased until he was standing in front of the blunette – flinching at the sight of Tetsuya passed out, the only surface was the wide sheet of greensward and his coat acting as the only heat provider despite the chilly autumn. Seijuurou's own warm hands woke the latter, and he almost jumped once he saw the sight in front him.

For the first time, the Akashi heir witnessed the breakdown of his spouse. Tetsuya broke into tears, he flung his arms around the redhead's neck and sobbed against his chest. Baffled, the only thing Seijuurou was capable of doing was to rub his hands against the shivering blunette's back. Truth was, he too, was trembling in fear.

Not that he cared, but even he – an Akashi for Kami's sake! – was choking back his own tears. He held Tetsuya's face, fingers stroking the cherubic cheeks scarlet from the autumn's chill. "Why are you here?" He finally asked, albeit the fact that he was yelling. The turmoil of anger was directed right to himself. . . Although, in truth, he was angry to why the blunette would rather holed up in some random park and not going back home.

Yet, the blunette's response was one that he would least predict. He sort of assumed of an excuse, or an angry retort. However, the blunette had nothing of it. Instead, in between sobs and hiccups, his words were sincere and honest. . .

Somehow, it feared the redhead to no end.

"I don't remember. . ."

Seijuurou gulped. What in the world did he meant by that?

TO BE CONTINUED

Mozu : I'm not satisfied with this haste-written chapter. Curse writer's block! I have to reread Webtoon again!

You see, I have no intention on making these lovely characters OOC. But sometimes, I gotta align them with the story. If you think they're too OOC though, please tell me. I could still fix up their charas.

I'm exhausted.

SHAMELESS ADVERTISING! CHECK OUT MY NEW STORIES, PARAGON AND RED EARTH! THEY'RE LONG AND FLUFFY AND STAYS UNTIL CHAPTER 80 I GUARANTEE YOU! BECAUSE THIS THING FINISHES NEXT YEAR AND YOU NEED ANOTHER TWO YEARS OF SUSTAINABLE FLUFF SO READ PARAGON AND RED EARTH CAUSE THEY'RE GONNA BE FLUFFY. *laughs* There's also a promising angst, hahahah.

X for love, O for hate!

-Mozu The Mochi (2015)