Chapter 17: My little baby, my little son

Douglas' POV

I laid on my bed in my room and stared up at the ceiling in silence. I know everyone else was mourning over Chase's death and crying their eyes out but, I couldn't cry. I actually couldn't cry. I wanted too so bad but, I couldn't. I tried to force the tears to come out but, that didn't work. I had no way to release my pain so, it filled up inside of me and took over me. I guess I was more shocked than devastated about what happened. I hated saying what actually happened so, I just said "about what happened". I didnt want to say it, I refused to say it. I can't believe that it happened! I actually thought Chase was going to have a girlfriend but, Rebecca just u..used him. She destroyed him. I told myself that if Rebecca ever dared show her face here again, I would take her out...myself. It felt like a piece of my heart was ripped out of my chest and I would never be able to take it back. Chase was gone. No, my little baby boy was gone. I remember Chase when he was a baby. He was the tiniest one. His mom thought he wasn't going to make it but, I had faith in him. I remember that day. I wish I could go back in time to the day Chase was born, October 15, 1995.

Douglas' Flashback

We were in the hospital again for the third time. My wife was laying on a big chair and I sat next to her holding her hand. She wore a short white gown and her legs were positioned in that weird way again. Many doctors stood over her ready to bring out new baby into this world. My wife, Jen was hysterical right now. I squeezed her hand as she panted while saying things to me.

"W..wa what are we going to name this one"? She asked between pants. I looked at her with a worried face.

"Just focus on getting the baby out first, and then we can think about a name ok"

"I have always wanted a b ba baby named Chase. I just love th that NAME"! She said between pants and screamed at the end. I looked at the doctor worriedly and she nodded.

"Honey you're going to have to push really hard for me ok because, were having a hard time getting the baby out" The lady doctor said. Suddenly my wife's face turned a ghostly white.

"Wh what do you mean"! She asked worriedly. I squeezed Jen's hand and comforted her.

"Hey Jen, it's ok! I'm here. You're going to be fine". I said to her in a caring voice. That seemed to calm her down but, not for long. Long story short we sat in that hospital for three hours but, finally out little baby came out. But, he was very weak. The doctors put the baby in a bundle blanket and handed it to Jen.

"It's a boy"! The lady said and smiled sympathetically. Then she left us alone with our new bundle of joy.

"You did it honey! You were great"! I said with a smile. She gave me a tired look.

"He's a boy! That means we can name him Chase, right"?

"Eh I was leaning more towards Charlie". I said with a smile. She looked at me annoyed.

"Were you the one who just pushed this baby out! We are naming him Chase and that's final, ok sweetie"? She said in a mad but, then sweet innocent voice. I rolled my eyes good humoredly.

"Fine but, I will call him Charlie when you're not around".

"Honey you do that and I will personally kill you". She said looking up at me with a sly smile. I leaned in to kiss her and she kissed me back. Then we marveled at our baby boy (name to be determined) and as we looked at his face. It seemed like all our worries escaped us for a split second. I stared at Chase. He yawned tiredly and squinted under the bright light. He had beautiful ice blue eyes just like his mom.

"He has your eyes". I said making her smile.

"He has your hair". She said looking up at me and kissed me again. I leaned in and kissed back. Then I looked at Chase's hair and noticed it was a bit spiky and the same dark brown mine was. Suddenly the door burst open with 3 year old Adam and 1 year old Bree.

"Daddy Adams being a meany"! Bree yelled and hid behind my leg from Adam.

"No way it was all you Bree! It was her fault daddy"! Adam argued back. I looked at Jen and she rolled her eyes.

"Guys look you have a new baby brother"! Jen said happily holding the bundle down so that Adam and Bree could see him. Bree's eyes widened.

"He's cute aww"!

"What's his name"? Adam asked staring at Chase.

"Charlie, "Chase"! Jen and I said in unison. Adam looked up at us confused.

"Kids which name do you like better"? Jen asked to Brew and Adam.

"Chase"! Bree and Adam said in unison. Jen smiled happily at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine you win, honey"! I said smiling. I leaned in to kiss her. She kissed me back. Then we broke apart.

"EWW"! Adam and Bree shrieked in unison. I laughed and Jen smiled good humoredly.

"Welcome to the world Chase"! I said holding my baby up in the air with the biggest goofiest smile that was way too big for my face.

End of Flashback

Why couldn't there be more days where you get pure joy from enjoying simple pleasures. That was a proud day in my life. I suddenly smiled and then frowned remembering that my little baby was gone. I don't get why it had to be Chase. He was always a good boy. I felt like a horrible father! Since, I became evil I only got to have Chase until he was 9 months. Then Donny took him away from me. And Chase was taught I was evil and that hurt me. I mean it was true but, whenever Chase saw me he had such a hatred look in his eyes. I wish I never became evil. When I first saw Chase, it was the first time Donny told them I was their father. When I first saw Chase he was grown up and he was a very handsome young man in my eyes. He looked just like me and he still does but, there's one particular part that makes me so happy Chase was mine. When Jen left me I was broken, until that one day. When Chase was locked in the cage I saw Jen's eyes alive on his face. I remember I cried later that day because, I now had something to remember Jen by. But, when I was evil I saw those hatred look in those beautiful blue eyes and I wanted nothing more than to see those eyes become gentle. When I became good I told Chase that he was holding a gift and that he was very special to me. I hated that Adam and Bree picked on Chase but, sometimes he deserved it. I just wish they were a better brother and sister to Chase. I mean Chase only saw his mom for the first 9 months and he doesn't even remember her. This conversation with Chase made me realize that I wish I was a better father and that I never turned evil.

Douglas' Flashback

I had been waiting for Chase and the others to come back from their mission but, mostly Chase. They were some things I had to tell him, now that I was good. The hydra loop wasn't back yet and I kinda zoned out thinking about what I was going to say. Suddenly a familiar voice snapped me out of my trance.

"Hey". I turned back and saw my brother looking at me concerned. I sighed and looked back towards the hydra loop.

"Donny what am I'm going to tell Chase? What if I tell him and he never talks to me again? I can't go through that again"! I said to my brother hoping he had some good advice for me but, of course he had quite the opposite.

" I say you lie to him. You don't want to hurt him. I would hate to have that conversation with him Ucgh"! He said and made a slicing gesture to his neck with a fart sound.

"I can't lie to him! That would hurt him even more. I shouldn't even say anything".

"Now that you can't do. You have to explain and I'm sure it's going to be fine and if not, I can talk to Chase ok! Don't get worked up over this". Donny said comforting me. I nodded and took a deep breath. Suddenly I could hear the hydra loop coming and I gulped nervously. It came a lot quicker than I wanted it too. And there he was my 15 year old son stepping out the hydra loop with a smile spread across his face. Time seemed to stop but, it also flew by as I watched him. Adam came from behind and pushed Chase who fell to the floor. Then he got up and gave a annoyed look to Adam.

"Adam"! Chase said annoyed and Bree chuckled softly.

"Oh come on you're not that weak"! Adam said jokingly.

"Please, strength comes from up here"! Chase said pointing up to his brain. I got to say Chase was losing this argument against Adam.

"Aww Chase thats cute"! Bree teased innocently. Chase rolled his eyes.

"Mr Davenport, we rescued everyone in the fire". Chase said pleased with himself.

"But, we all know that's because, we have a brilliant mission leader". Chase added and Adam mocked Chase.

"OH IM YOUR MISSION LEADER BLU BLU BLAH BLAH" Adam said slightly spitting on Chase's face. Chase used his hand to slowly remove the spit from his eye in disgust. Bree continued to laugh.

"Guys I need to talk to talk to Chase alone". I said in a serious voice. Donny took Bree and Adam away but, Adam shouted something as he was being pulled away.

"Oh you're in trouble! See bragging gets you no where". Then it was just me and a confused Chase.

"Hey". I said smiling at Chase. He didn't smile back.

"Is something wrong Douglas"? He asked worriedly.

"No Chase, we just really need to talk". I said walking away gesturing for him to follow me. He reluctantly followed me and we sat at a table. He looked extremely confused and I gave him a reassuring smile. And of course he didn't smile back. I started to talk.

"First off I just want to apologize about not telling you this sooner". I said which increased his anxiety even more. (Way to go Douglas). He stayed quiet expecting me to talk more which I did.

"Chase I'm so sorry I became evil. I never even got to give you a childhood. Donny took you away from me when you were only 9 months old".

"Wait I was only 9 months old when Mr Davenport took me away from you"? He asked slightly scared. His blue eyes widened in fear.

"Yes and I'm so sorry! You were so young but, you hold a very beautiful memory of your childhood". I said and he looked even more confused now.

"Chase, you have Jen's eyes". I said and then his response shattered my heart.

"Who's Jen"? He asked still very confused. I gasped and almost started crying.

"Chase...you don't know who Jen is"? I asked and he nodded his head "no". I gasped again and he widened his eyes.

"Chase, Jen was your mother".

"What do you mean "was"? He asked rather hurt now.

"She left me after you were six months". I said very hurt now remembering that painful day wash through my mind. Chase looked at me with the same face but, he didn't have that memory.

"Why would she leave after I was born"?

"I don't know Chase I don't know".

"Wait, did she leave you when Adam and Bree were born"? He asked sadly. I looked at him.

"No she didn't". I said and then I saw Chase cry for the first time. The silent tears fell down his cheeks and my heart felt heavy. Those beautiful blue eyes were now weld up with tears and I had never seen such a painful sight in my entire life.

"Chase it doesn't matter now. She is gone, I'm sorry son". I said giving him a caring smile. He wiped his eyes embarrassed.

"But, Chase you have a memory of your mom. You have her beautiful ice blue eyes and that's special. Adam and bree don't have that, only you. Thats your childhood memory and you get to see it everyday. Just look at your reflection and theirs your childhood memory forever with you". I said and got up and Chase got up too and I hugged him. It was the first time I hugged my grown up son or the first time he let me hug him I should say. It was a memory that would burn in my heart forever. Chase smiled up at me and I ruffled his hair. His tears were gone and those eyes held a gentle look and no longer had the hatred that had been pierced in my mind for the longest time. I had a part of my heart back with me and I had a little piece of Jen that I would never let go.

End of flashback

Wow I thought for sure I would cry remembering that memory but, I didn't. That was a day I would never forget. I wish I was a better father to Chase. I wonder if Chase remembered that day and that moment we shared. It broke the walls between us and now we could talk about anything even, the past memories. Over the weeks Chase learned more about Jen and grew to love her even though, he would never see her ever again. I didn't know where my sweet Jen was. But, I always hoped that she was happy wherever she was. Sometimes I get very upset knowing she left me and I thought she was dead which she could be. But, I would never know and I don't think I really wanted to know. I sat up on my bed and saw this picture hiding under my shoe. I picked it up and stared at it. It was a picture I took the day Chase was born. I had a big smile along with Jen who held our baby boy in the blanket up to the camera so, you could see him sleeping. When you stare at the picture you think, what a happy family this is. That nothing could break this family's strong bond of love and happiness but, then there are those little areas in the picture that you never look out because, they are not the main focus. The little black corners that almost say there is never a perfect family and there is never a true happiness in life. They say something always goes wrong and it does. Nothing is truly perfect. There is no hope that lasts forever. But, you can pretend. You can put on a fake smile and say I'm ok. You can dance around to tunes that have no harmony. You can laugh and show you're truly happy right where you are. But then the world brings you back reality and all your little magic fake tricks shatter before your eyes before you can even catch them. I held the picture in my hand and that was when the first tears started to fall. And I let them because, this was my way to release my pain. I lost my little baby and then I lost my little son.

And how was it? Did I make you cry again? Im sorry anyway leave reviews! All of them are appreciated but, I need more followers! I need more love lol! More chapters coming ASAP! Love of all you stay strong :DD

Is Chase really dead? Hmmm well...he is not de...AND CUT THATS A RAP.