Author's Note: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the source material for this story. All are owned by Rumiko Takahashi. This fic is labeled MA per standards for eventual violence, sex, and language so be warned.
...
Reconciliation
Chapter 16 - Yūgen
Sesshoumaru and Ryota sat across from each other discussing events since the inudaiyoukai's departure and sharing a pot of tea.
"Now that you are caught up, my Lord, may I ask how your journey was? Lord Katsurou had an interesting account of your visit. I remember your haste to leave that night but I had hoped it wouldn't turn into a brawl at his gates."
"Cats are known to embellish but the core of the tale is most likely true. He would not listen to reason and had to be made to submit."
"I envy your fight with him. I have never met a tiger daiyoukai in battle. His prowess is legendary." Ryota grinned a wide, mischievous grin at the thought and flexed the bunched muscles of his shoulders.
"He is not to be taken lightly. Neither is his Mate, Haruna. Keep that in mind during the meeting." Sesshoumaru cast over his tea cup.
"Of course. But we are not having the tournament this year, are we? I have not prepared for it given the disarray many of the lands are in following the destruction by Naraku. You left no such instruction so I assumed-"
"No, we will not. The reason you were summoned is so that I can inform you that the Western heir has been defeated. Inuyasha, the second son of my father, is dead and the council will be informed of this tomorrow at the meeting. You are being informed now so if there is upheaval, you are ready."
"How tragic." Ryota's face fell. "I never met the- Inuyasha-sama but I was impressed at his accomplishments, for a hanyou. Are you all right, my Lord?"
Ryota's genuine and friendly concern almost elicited a confession but now was not the time. Sesshoumaru bottled the feelings about his brother away, again, and continued in an even tone.
"Hn. The problem this presents is one of timing. The discussion will, undoubtedly, be raised of succession-"
"Which you have no designs to change? Oh, don't look so shocked. Kikuko-sama has already visited me, too. She wanted my support in forcing your hand." Ryota leaned back and cocked one leg up, hooking his right arm around it. It had taken many years but the two males were comfortable in each other's presence.
"And your reply, General?" Sesshoumaru growled.
"I fear you much more than I fear her, to which she laughed, replied 'For now.' and then turned around and left. Kouji was most amused." Ryota smiled over his own teacup. "I told you about the demonesses she had brought here but they are all very-"
"Vapid? Ornamental? Vain?" Sesshoumaru observed.
"Boring, my Lord. Unless you like that sort of thing. I withhold my opinion on them individually in case she is chosen for you."
"Hn. The other issue is the miko. She will be coming to the meeting tomorrow to aid me in explaining Inuyasha's death. She was his wife but I recognize that a miko present for the daiyoukai council meeting is-"
"Suicide? Forgive me. My Lord, surely, she can submit testimony through you and not be called on to participate! How did you get a human to agree to come? Do the other Lords know?" Ryota's short cropped brown hair brushed his strong jawline as he braced both burly hands on the table and leaned forward in disbelief.
"No, they do not. This human is familiar with our ways and knows the danger. Besides," he sipped his tea, "she will not be given a choice."
"Sesshoumaru-sama, you surprise me. A human woman at the Cardinal Council table." Ryota shook his head in surprise. "Ren will have new gossip to spread when this is over."
"Ren is another matter. I thought, given his nature, he could be assigned as escort to the priestess until she is healed. He will be at the council meeting, as well, and can be made responsible for her safety unless you have other assignments for him."
"No, and I imagine he would 'forget' his other assignments and drop everything for this anyway. That pup needs a Mate more than any other I've ever known. Someone to tie him down, give him focus." Ryota poured himself more tea and he shook his head. He questioned Sesshoumaru with raised eyebrows and the Lord nodded and moved his cup closer.
"Is that what a Mate is to you, General?" Sesshoumaru asked while Ryota poured, genuinely curious.
"No, the bond is much more than that but for him? It might give me some peace. That pup has kitsune in his heritage or I'll eat my axe. In all seriousness, it's not so bad, my Lord." Ryota said knowingly. "I, myself, never saw my life with a Mate but fate had other plans. Rather, Kouji did and I've never been more contented with my life." Ryota adopted a far off, wistful look and a gentle smile.
"You do not find the Bond a distraction? A hindrance?"
"No, I appreciate it." Ryota closed his eyes and allowed his emotions to travel through their Bond. Kouji was safe and content but working on something important. Ryota left him alone but felt his Mate's happiness bloom when they connected. "For the first several years, there was an adjustment period for us both. Knowing your Mate and feeling them constantly are two very different sensations. Ours was a Mating of mutual choice. Neither had any expectations put on us by birth or duty at the time so our situation is different, I'm sorry to say. My advice to you, if you'll allow it," he paused and waited for Sesshoumaru to nod and when he did, continued, "is to request a period of courting that suits you. The other Lords should not object to that. To know a Mate before the bond is completed is wise. Give her, I assume they will choose a female anyway, a chance to know you and know her in return. That way, you will have mutual interest in the changes that occur when do you fully Bond."
Ryota was used to his mercurial Lord and simply waited silently for him to catalogue the information.
Sesshoumaru was pensive for a few minutes as he considered this new information, eyes focused on some detail of the table in front of him. As a pup, his experience with his parents had been one of mutual indifference. They occupied the same physical space but did not share a fraction of the care and attention that his General displayed only moments ago. Sesshoumaru knew deep down that he was a product of obligation rather than affection. He decided in that moment that his own heirs should not suffer the same fate, and resigned himself to make an effort should the Council choose for him. If they did not, he would remain as he was until peace was solidified.
"I thank you for your candor, General." Sesshoumaru looked at Ryota and nodded his head ever so slightly.
"It is my honor, my Lord. We, all of us close to you, wish to see you happy. Or at the very least, not unhappy in the end." Ryota smirked across the table, his blue eyes twinkled with delight, and placed his hand over his heart. "For my entertainment however, please don't allow the Lady mother to know you've accepted the idea. Just let her stew in her scheme until the meeting. I'm sure her reaction will be most rewarding."
Sesshoumaru turned inward for a moment and allowed the prospect of a Mate to intrigue him. Loneliness was the advent of immortality, or so his mother had taught him. But with the right female, perhaps the long years that followed would be filled with intrigue and companionship. He thought of a Palace made livelier by the addition of his Mate and heirs in the future. Perhaps, the benefits outweigh the detriments.
Ryota watched the emotions play across the face of his Lord. This would be a life-altering event for him. The stoic and cold persona he portrayed laid low by a female who would know the depths of his curiosity, loyalty, and passion as Ryota had come to in the past several centuries. These talks between them were not very rare and the bear found that Sesshoumaru was a singular youkai in many ways. Why the inu felt the need to keep everyone at arm's length was still a mystery to him, but it could just be a fault of personality or perhaps the trauma from the death of his father. In Ryota's opinion, his Lord had few truly undesirable traits. Sesshoumaru was wise, thoughtful, and held his honor and that of others around him in high regard. His Mate would be no different. Truly, if she allowed it, she would be a lucky female indeed.
…
Kenshin met Rin in the hallway outside the infirmary as he slid the door closed, smiling happily as she approached.
"Good afternoon, Kenshin-san! Is Kagome-sama awake yet? May I see her?"
Kenshin's bright fuchsia eyes softened at her request but he shook his head.
"No, not right now, Lady Rin. Has Sesshoumaru-sama told you why she is here?"
"No, but he told me about Inuyasha-sama. It made Rin sad. Kagome-sama must be sad as well." The understanding in her deep chocolate eyes was instant. She knew their grief very well.
"Indeed, she is. And her son is with her so they can mourn together and we must not disturb them right now. Would you like to go back to my Lord, or come with me to prepare them some breakfast?"
"Shippou is here, too? Rin has missed him!" Then she considered Kenshin's offer. "I shall come with you. The grumpy General is in there with Sesshoumaru-sama and they'll talk forever about boring things."
Kenshin laughed then thanked his good luck. The inu realized he had no idea what humans ate at different times of day.
"Come then. What do you usually like to eat for breakfast?" he asked, genuinely interested.
"Rin- I mean, I like fruit and rice and some soup. What do you eat for breakfast, Kenshin-san?"
They settled into a comfortable walk to the kitchens side by side in the hallway.
"Like Lord Sesshoumaru, I do not have to eat like you do. My energies sustain me for several days in this form but eventually, I will leave with a few others to hunt on the mountain."
"Lord Sesshoumaru likes to hunt, too. Do you ever go together?" Rin was interested in everything her Lord did.
"No, my Lord prefers to hunt alone. It's all the same since I most likely could not keep up with him. He is incredibly swift, my Lady."
"Ah, so the little princess is out and about today!" Ren cut in, rounding the corner from the courtyard and meeting them full on. He was wearing battle armor, the left sleeve of his kosode tucked neatly away within it, and carrying a new sword at his left hip. "And what are you two up to this fine afternoon?"
"We are getting breakfast for Kagome-sama and Shippou!" Rin chimed in merrily.
Ren gaped at Kenshin, who only sighed. "She's awake?"
"Yes, and," he held up a hand, "no, you may not go see her. She and her son are discussing events of the past few days." He narrowed his eyes to make sure his brother got the point.
Kenshin wasn't sure it was appropriate to let the news of Inuyasha's death out yet. Lord Sesshoumaru had not given instructions either way but he'd rather be safe than dead.
Ren held up his hands in mock defeat. "You win, little brother. I'm too tired right now to be good company anyway. This new katana is giving me trouble. It's longer to compensate for my lack of reach and my balance is off, and the new footwork to learn is a pain. How did my Lord do it? To top it all off, Ryota just sent a messenger to find me and I have to go meet my Lord and the General at the same time. I feel a tongue lashing about something coming on…"
"Well then, I'm sure you deserve it. You should be more reserved, Ren, then maybe you wouldn't get so many 'tongue lashings.'"
"One day, little princess, I'll steal you away for some fun. Away from all these serious youkai and their rules." Ren winked mischievously at the young woman who didn't know what to do but just turned beet red and stood there, mouth agape.
"Just like that, Ren! Flirting with Lord Sesshoumaru's ward in the middle of the hallway! Do you have a death wish?" Kenshin hissed.
"Come now. The little princess knows I'm only having fun!"
Jaken came scurrying up to the group chatting in the hallway breathing heavily.
"Ren-san, they are waiting for you! Come, now!" screeched the little kappa.
"Ah, apparently I am needed. See you later, Kenshin, and behave yourself, little princess!" Ren winked as he jogged away.
"That brother of mine… Shall we continue on, Rin-sama?" he sighed.
"Mm hmm…" Rin hummed, looking back down the hallway, still blushing furiously.
…
Kagome woke from her late afternoon nap slowly and without the nightmares from yesterday. She was grateful for that. Pale orange sunlight was creeping across the floor and warming her face as she laid napping on the raised infirmary bed. Shifting her body slightly, she remembered Shippou was there in bed with her, curled against her side. Her free hand stroked his head lovingly. They had slept the afternoon away after Shippou came to terms with Inuyasha's death. Mother and child managed some lunch after the little kit had calmed down a bit. Kenshin had left them alone again after Kagome promised not to leave the infirmary.
Shippou had taken the news of Inuyasha's passing better than she expected but knew it would be a long time before he would be quite so carefree again. Kagome had explained as gently as she could. Shippou asked lots of teary questions, some of which she didn't readily have an answer for. There was still so much to ask Sesshoumaru to fill in the gaps. Her little fox had brutally lost his own parents not that long ago and now he had lost another. No child should lose three parents in one lifetime. Kagome had lost only her father and grandmother in her short life but those were still heavy on her heart at different times of year. Fall would be a time of sorrow for them both for many years.
Kagome's musings on death and mourning were cut short when Rin poked her head in the infirmary.
"Is Kagome-sama awake yet?" she whispered, peeking around for the absent healer.
"Yes, I am, Rin-chan, but be quiet. Shippou is still sleeping." Kagome answered kindly, sitting up carefully. "My keeper has gone off somewhere for the moment. How are you? I'm glad to see you. Do you like it here?"
"I am happy that Sesshoumaru-sama is back now but the Palace can be very boring. You made it exciting, though, Kagome-sama! I have never seen so many people rushing around!" Rin walked over to stand beside the bed where Kagome and Shippou were resting.
"Shh. Well, I'm sorry I caused a fuss but I'm happy you came to visit us."
"Lord Sesshoumaru told me about your husband. I am sorry about Inuyasha-sama." She bowed respectfully. "I liked him. He was nice and funny."
Happy tears welled in Kagome's eyes hearing that Rin remembered him well. "Yes, he was. Though most of the time, it wasn't intentional." She laughed just for a moment.
"I will miss him."
"Me, too, Rin. But I know he wouldn't want us to be sad for long." Kagome strengthened her voice. It was true. She could imagine him scowling at her and telling her to stop moping, she had things to do.
"Kagome-sama won't have time to be sad! You are having dinner with Rin and Lord Sesshoumaru tonight and then tomorrow morning is the council meeting so you will be busy then, too. Sesshoumaru-sama told the General that you have to go, whether you want to or not. Or at least, that's what Ren-san said. He's coming to see you, too."
'Say what now? Dinner with Sesshoumaru? That's the most uncomfortable, awkward, horrible idea…'
"Oh, he did, did he? That's the first I've heard about it. Thanks for the warning, Rin." The miko dipped one eyebrow and sat up a little straighter.
"Uh oh. Kagome-sama looks like one of Rin's tutors when she's been drawing instead of studying."
Sudden ire forgotten, Kagome giggled at Rin's analogy. "Rin-chan, how I've missed you."
Kenshin slid the infirmary door open and left it open wide behind him. Another young, handsome daiyoukai strode in behind him in a light green kosode and black hakama tucked into black boots just as Sesshoumaru wore. This one looked a lot like Kenshin but was more fit and stood much more relaxed.
'Are all inuyoukai ridiculously handsome? How do the women around here get anything done?' Kagome smiled behind a hand, surprised at her own lighthearted thoughts.
He reminded her of the younger Inuyasha, before the quest to complete the Shikon no Tama. All confidence and attitude wrapped up in a thin, teenage body. His bright green eyes twinkled with mischief like Shippou's and the young inu stood confidently in the doorway, despite the missing left arm.
Her eyes softened when she saw the stump of his arm through his sleeve. This must be the Captain that Sesshoumaru had sent to help Inuyasha. She felt some misplaced guilt at the newcomer's condition. If only she'd noticed his problem sooner…
Kenshin cleared his throat after watching her stare at his brother for a moment. "Good afternoon, Lady Kagome. Shippou-chan still sleeping?" Kagome nodded. "Ren, be quiet coming in. Her son is still asleep."
"Of course, little brother." Kenshin's head whipped back around to glare at Ren.
"Can you please refrain from calling me that in front of guests? Or anyone else? Ever? We're about two centuries too old for nicknames, Ren."
"Ah, but Kagome-sama is practically family. The sister-in-law of our noble Lord and companion to our own little Lady. Friend of youkai everywhere." Ren said smoothly.
"Rin is not so 'little,' Captain-san! I am almost thirteen now." Rin said, putting both small hands on her hips.
"And don't you forget it!" Kagome looked at Rin and chuckled. "Hello, I'm Kagome. You must be the Captain." She held out a hand for him to shake.
Ren took in the miko now that she was awake. Her hair was a mess but wavy and dark, falling in gentle curves over her bound arm and slim shoulders. The white yukata she wore highlighted her lightly tanned skin and ghosts of freckles across her nose and cheeks, and it was tied neatly around a slim waist. The dark circles under her eyes, from grief and exhaustion no doubt, did nothing to dampen the brightness and warmth of her stormy blue eyes. Ren was captivated for a moment by her genuine and open gaze. The hand she extended was strong and sure despite the situation, and was calloused from the hard work she must do back in the village.
As he approached to take her hand, his nose involuntarily sniffed to know her better. Beyond the scent of her pain and sorrow, he inhaled deeply to find her true natural scent. Flowers? Something light and natural. Camelias? And the unmistakable scent of rain. Fluid and metallic. It was intoxicating. She was an interesting human, he decided, and beautiful beyond many of the women he had known in his life. Inuyasha had been a lucky man.
"I am, Kagome-sama. It is a pleasure to see you up and well." Ren turned the offered hand and pressed his lips softly against it. "You have made quite the impression on the Palace occupants."
"I know. Sorry about that. I'll tell them all myself when I'm up and about. How long do you think that'll be, Kenshin-san?" she asked hopefully.
"A few more days at best, Lady Kagome. That blow to your head was very swollen and I'll need to continue to check it every few hours for another day at least. I am grateful you educated me how severe human head injuries can be. I'm afraid your word is all I have to go on, as well. We don't have any texts about human anatomy in the study. I checked this morning."
"Hmm, maybe I can make a copy of our manuscript and have it sent from Edo for Rin's benefit when I return home. If she's staying here, you might need it. Human women in particular have some specific needs as they grow." Kagome gave them a 'sorry' look but didn't explain. Rin looked confused but shrugged.
Shippou chose that moment to wake up, rubbing his sleepy eyes with tiny clawed hands and looking around.
"Good morning, honey. Or afternoon. We slept a little too long." She straightened his small, white sleeping yukata for him as he sat up beside her.
"Why are all these people here, Momma? Rin! Is that you?"
"Hi, Shippou! Rin is here!" She stood closer to the bed and rocked back and forth, excited to see him.
"And who's that one?" The little kit peered around Rin to the doorway.
"Shippou, mind your manners. This is Captain Ren. He's here visiting us, too, I guess?"
"Ah, I forgot. I am not only here to visit, though I hope we do have a chance to talk." Kenshin snorted behind him and Kagome blinked, confused. "I am here at Lord Sesshoumaru's request to be your personal guard while you heal and your escort to the Council meeting tomorrow morning."
"I need a personal guard? I'm going to a meeting? Why?"
Ren shifted the sword at his hip and sat down near Kagome's bed. She pulled the collar of her yukata closed just a bit tighter as he neared her. He noticed her scent change to a sour citrus and wondered why.
"Don't be afraid, Kagome-sama, but there are a great many daiyoukai here and not all of them are so friendly to humans or miko, in particular. Given your 'attack' on the infirmary yesterday, many are wary. My assignment to you is merely a precaution. As for the meeting, Lord Sesshoumaru thinks you may be able to help him explain the death of his brother to the council." Kagome flinched and shook her head. "They will be concerned about two things tomorrow: why he was killed, and the naming of a successor to the West. My Lord's word alone may not be enough to convince them that his death was necessary."
Kagome's eyes were filled with tears but hardened into blue steel when she looked up to him. "That bastard dares to ask me to defend the murder of my husband?! That self-righteous, insensitive ass! How could he possibly think I would do such a thing?" Shippou looked completely unsurprised at her outburst.
"Kagome-sama!" Rin exclaimed, shocked.
"I- I do not know, Kagome-sama, but please do not get too upset. You might aggravate your injuries." Kenshin asked her quietly from his desk, shocked at her language.
"And my Lord hopes your presence, along with my own, will help him to confirm the truth." Ren added nervously. Clearly, the miko had picked up Inuyasha's foul language.
"Like hell. I'll tell him myself. Had his Lordship been a little more involved at all- You know what? Nevermind. His behavior is not your fault." Kagome held up a placating hand more for herself than him. "I'm sorry. I'll make him tell me the truth of all this tonight. You were saying? I assumed that anyone who could beat Sesshou- Lord Sesshoumaru in a fair fight could just take the West from him? Most of the daiyoukai I've met thought that way and he's certainly got a big enough ego."
Ren stared open mouthed at the miko who was supposing to 'make' Lord Sesshoumaru do things and insult him at every turn in the conversation. She was either suicidal or deluded, but didn't seem to be either so he stuttered a bit before continuing, confused.
"In- In the past, that was the case but my Lord is attempting to change the way daiyoukai rule their Cardinal lands for several reasons." Ren's countenance changed to one of business, his playful tone gone. "For this change to remain permanent, he will need to convince them this was a necessary course of action and not a way to guarantee his sole ownership of the West. Additionally, they will be selecting a Mate for my Lord this year," Ren wrinkled his nose, "but we will most likely be excused before that discussion."
"I disagree that… was the only option, for all the good it does now." she added sadly. "But aside from that, Sesshoumaru the peacekeeper? I find that highly uncharacteristic."
"My Lord is many things, Miko-sama, and he is wise. I understand how you must feel but I ask you to consider that you do not know our ways or the depth of my Lord's loyalty to his home and his people."
His eyes found hers and she saw the seriousness there. He wasn't trying to belittle her or make her feel out of place, these were just facts of his existence and he was politely asking her to open her mind. Kagome was taken aback at the honesty and adoration she heard in Ren's voice. The Captain who had lost his arm in service to this Lord, who was agreeing to guard a human in his home, was openly defending and advocating for her husband's executioner.
The conflicting ideas she was having about Sesshoumaru were unsettling. It was so much easier just to hate him for his presence and absence both in Inuyasha's life. Now she was here, because he brought her to be healed, and surrounded by people that loved him, the little human girl he adopted, and she was finding it more difficult to write him off in her mind as an icy, self-important creature of duty without a heart. Indignantly, she conceded in her mind that he deserved a chance to explain his actions to her regarding Inuyasha. If he wouldn't, then she could resume ignoring him. They'd have no reason to ever see each other again after she was healed.
"Okay, Ren-san." Kagome said quietly. "I'll reserve judgement until I get some answers but don't expect too much. …And I am sorry about your arm."
Her eyes welled with tears at the myriad of emotions that had been stirred up in the last five minutes: Inuyasha's death, the meeting to defend it, Ren's verbal love letter to Sesshoumaru, Rin's longing gaze at Ren as he spoke so nicely about her adopted father figure. She covered her face and let the first few tears fall. The Captain continued as if she wasn't crying into her hands. Shippou stood up and hugged her fiercely, nuzzling her shoulder with his small face.
"Ah, that. Well, it is my hope you have some opinion on the matter before you leave us. Not all of us have the excessive youki available to forge a sword and regrow a lost arm on a whim."
"Yeah," Kagome sniffled, "I was there for that and I still don't believe it."
"You were there?!" Ren yelled.
Shippou chose that moment to pipe up. "I was, too. He's so powerful. It was scary flying here with him."
"You flew here with Sesshoumaru?" Kagome wiped her eyes and tried to smile again.
"Yeah, he picked me up from Sango's house and carried me the whole way." Shippou stayed close and nuzzled her chest, trying to comfort her and himself.
"My Lord carried Rin here that way, too! It's so nice when he holds me close." She clasped her hands together over her heart and sighed wistfully.
"Ugh! I can't deal with all this Sesshoumaru worship anymore. Fine, I accept that I need an escort and I have a meeting to go to. Now, could someone show me how you make tea in this place? I would love to catch up with Rin over some tea, if you have time? And not to talk about Sesshoumaru anymore…" she raised an eyebrow at the young girl.
"I will be happy to make you some tea. We have a stove here in the infirmary for boiling water and sterilizing tools but these days, I use it mostly for cooking." Kenshin smiled an easy smile. "Peace is a good thing."
"Let me help you…" Kagome asked, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.
"Wait!" "Momma!" "Kagome-sama!"
Shippou had been paying attention to his mother's condition and knew her body was still weak from whatever she had done yesterday. Her aura was barely detectable even for him so she was exhausted. The three demons calling out to her knew she would not be able to stand yet but the miko apparently didn't.
"What?!" she shrieked, setting her feet down on the cool wood below.
Ren was there first as her legs gave out and she started to drop heavily to the floor. He slipped his right arm around her ribs and held her up, trying not to aggravate her injured shoulder. She winced anyway and hissed when it grated uncomfortably in the wrapping. The warmth of the inflammation flooding her head and shoulder was immediate and her vision swam. Rin tried to help but her small frame wasn't enough to support the dead weight of the full-grown woman.
"Kenshin, help!" he called into the galley as the woman's head lolled backward. "Woman! Have a care, will you? You've been bedridden for two days, lost a lot of blood, and have a serious head injury." Ren chided, grunting at the awkward position he found himself in.
Kagome blinked slowly and shook her head.
Ren lifted her awkwardly back into bed and stepped back. Kenshin came over, concerned, settled her more comfortably, and checked her coloring and stitches before urging her to lie back down.
"Oops. I should have known. Man, this is the worst. My head didn't hurt all that badly. Sorry about that, Captain."
"You lost a lot of blood and are bound to be dizzy and weak until tomorrow at the earliest. Just stay in bed for now and rest." Kenshin told the miko.
"Or at least until I have to carry you down to Lord Sesshoumaru's rooms for dinner tonight." Ren winked.
"Oh kami, no. Don't make me go down there and face him like this. I didn't think this through and I can't defend myself. I can't even stand!"
"Why would you need to defend yourself, Kagome-sama?" Rin innocently asked.
"Eh heh, well sometimes he and I don't… um, get along? That's nicest way I can say it, Rin. I don't expect tonight to be any different given what we need to talk about. I ended up mute and poisoned the last time we had a conversation." Kagome's hand came up to touch her throat as she remembered their encounter.
"Ha! Meet the first person to survive an attack from Lord Sesshoumaru's own poison! Miko, you are a wonder."
"I don't feel like a wonder. I feel like an idiot." She shook the feeling away for now and refocused. "I need to get some answers from him though, so I guess I'll accept your gracious offer to help me get down there. I promise I will stay right here for now so let's have that talk, huh, Rin?"
Rin nodded enthusiastically and Ren sat down in a chair near the bed to listen to their conversation. Kenshin smiled from the galley, once again occupied making tea, and when Rin was done recounting her journey here and the tedious lessons, Shippou excitedly burst into tales about his classes to Rin. They passed a few amiable hours talking about nothing in particular and enjoying each other's company. Kagome found herself laughing along with them and, oddly, felt her heart lighter than it had been in several weeks.
By the time the evening shone pale red through the windows lining the far wall, Ren sighed and stood, sensing the servant making her way cautiously to the infirmary. Ren stood up and decided to save her some trouble. Sliding the door open just before she knocked, Ren grinned as he caught the deer youkai with her fist up about to knock.
"Hello, Tomomi. Are you here to collect Lady Rin and Lady Kagome for dinner?" Ren stood aside and swept a hand into the infirmary.
"Y- Yes, Ren-sama. Are you ready, my Ladies, to follow me to milord's room for dinner?"
Rin cleared her throat and surprised them all before anyone else could answer.
"Indeed. We were readying Kagome-sama to leave the infirmary. Please inform my Lord we are on the way and will join him presently."
"Of course, my Lady." Tomomi bowed and retreated.
"Wow, Rin. You sound like a grown up." Shippou blinked, impressed.
"Not a grown-up, Shippou-chan. A Lady. Lord Sesshoumaru expects Rin to behave so she does." Rin giggled and turned around to leave.
"Well, the little princess has spoken! Shall we, Kagome-sama?" Ren smiled.
"I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Let's do this." Kagome struggled to sit up and Shippou walked around behind her on the bed to help.
"Actually, Kagome-sama… first, I should do something about your hair." Rin winced as she took in the wild mop at the back of Kagome's head. "My Lord will expect you to be presentable. Or at least, he will be irritated by your… disarray."
"Like I care what he thinks… but is it that bad?" Kagome plucked at a few wayward strands around her face, inspecting her hair's condition.
"Momma, you need a brush or something. It is kind of a mess."
"Thank you all so much for pointing out how mortal danger affects my hair. There's a brush in my bag over- Wait. Oh, damn it! My staff, my bow, my bag! They're all still out in the field! Crap, my clothes and my quiver!" The miko's hand came up to clap her cheek at the panic of losing her friends' beautiful gifts.
"Calm down, Lady Kagome! I will retrieve them tonight after you are asleep, if Kenshin will cover for me." said Ren. Kenshin nodded.
"Thank you but I can't even tell you where they are in relation to the Palace, Ren-san… I still have no idea where I actually am."
"I know exactly where everything is. It was I who retrieved and carried you here."
"Oh." Kagome was quiet again for a few moments. When she spoke again, her voice was thick and quieter. "Then, thank you again, Ren-san. It appears I owe you a lot."
"Think nothing of it, my Lady. I was merely doing as Lord Sesshoumaru requested." He smiled warmly to reassure her. "But you should hurry if milord is waiting for us."
"Rin is very quick but I will have to be careful of your stitches."
Kenshin produced a comb and allowed Rin to use it while watching to make sure she didn't catch any stitches with her styling. When she was done, the top half of Kagome's wavy, dark hair was pulled up neatly and elegantly into a twisted bun and tied with a ribbon from Rin's sleeve. The rest, she left to hang down and combed it neatly over the miko's shoulders. Rin also requested a washcloth to wash Kagome's face, neck, and hands and then nodded that she was ready.
"Beautiful, Lady Kagome. Now let's be off. I am afraid to keep my Lord waiting much longer."
"You mean that literally, don't you?"
"Absolutely. Now come here, my Lady." Ren approached with his arm outstretched.
"Before you pick me up," Kagome held up a finger, "let me remind you that I am still a miko and you'd better behave yourself." She cut her eyes at him in warning.
Ren blinked in shock. Kenshin snorted with laughter at his desk in the corner and Shippou chimed in with a "Yeah! That's my mom. Don't be a pervert!"
"Now that we're clear, Captain, onward to the most awkward dinner ever… Wait, are you sure Kenshin shouldn't carry me?"
"Lady Kagome, my brother is perfectly capable." Kenshin said seriously.
"Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Ren lifted her from the bed easily with his right arm and she held on to his neck with her good, left arm. Her eyes found his and he looked away silently but she mumbled her apology at his face anyway.
"Sorry, Ren. I wasn't thinking."
"It's okay, Kagome-sama, but I am moving on with my life as we all must."
Kagome met his unusual, pale green eyes and understood he was trying to commiserate with her. They both had their losses but life must go on. Rin left the room and headed down the hallway ahead of the Captain and Kagome. Ren was through the doorway and headed down the hall when Kagome remembered something.
"Oh, Shippou, honey, do you want to come or stay here? I'll leave it up to you. I have no idea what to expect."
"I want to come with you, if that's okay." he mumbled, unsure.
"Of course. Come on then, my little mischief maker, and let's meet this miko-saving, peace-loving, kit-carrying benevolent Lord I keep hearing about."
Ren sighed. "Miko-sama, for kami's sake, please don't do that in my Lord's presence. I am already fond of you and wish for you to keep your head where it is."
Kagome giggled lightly and nodded her head.
"Fine, you win. I'll try not to die."
Shippou scampered ahead in his little yukata and joined Rin walking down the hall. They were talking animatedly about the Palace as Rin pointed out things in the hallway to him and he commented earnestly. Kagome wondered what Rin's first home had been like. Had it been like this? Or much simpler like Kagome's own life? She'd never thought to ask.
The miko looked around and took in the world outside the infirmary for the first time since coming here. The floors were the same throughout: all dark, polished wood. Odd for a Palace but it was warm and attractive. The walls were traditional and pale ecru. Small tables and paintings created bright spots of interest in the hallway as they walked. Kagome heard talking through the doors of several rooms as they walked, and some light and feminine laughter, but some were dark and quiet.
'Right, there are other youkai here. A lot of them apparently.'
She turned her head all around to take it in, looking for clues about her husband's family in the ceramics and paintings. Ren was watching her take it all in with a curious expression and she caught him staring and turned a faded shade of pink. His mouth and eyes smiled in unison realizing that curiosity was not strictly an inu trait. This woman wanted to know everything.
"Perhaps I could take you on a tour of the Palace when you are feeling up to it. This small corner is interesting but nothing compared to the gallery and the Arena. The mountain itself is a beautiful place. The Inu no Taisho was very creative."
She turned her head as Ren rounded a corner to the left and the hallway widened. Only a few rooms were left before the wide, stony overhang created a shelter from the elements and gave way to the large gardens of the central courtyard.
"I'd like that I think, but I should leave as soon as I'm better. With winter coming, the village needs all hands on deck. I mean, they'll need my help. I guess I need to ask Sesshoumaru-sama if it's okay, too. Wouldn't want to sully his home with my human filth."
Ren turned right and away from the courtyard, and started up a set of wide and flat stairs. Kagome could hear Rin and Shippou talking farther up and wondered where they were going.
'Definitely couldn't have made these stairs on my own today.' she thought sadly.
Up another flight of stairs, Ren turned into the hall and Kagome took in the new scene. This hall was lined heavily with swords, armor, and tapestries of many colors. Some were of great battle scenes and some were of surreal scenery. A few paintings showed what Kagome thought must be ancestors: males and females of different eras and styles, all fair and ethereal like Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru.
There were much fewer rooms on the third level and only three were lit from within. One directly to her right, which Ren did not stop for and two more further down. A servant waited patiently beside the double doors of the room to the right. Ren continued as they made their way down.
"My Lord is not opposed to humans in general, in my experience. He's made a few trade contracts with the human Lords nearby in the last few years."
"Say what now? Sesshoumaru? Dealing with humans voluntarily? Well, my experience has taught me that he'd rather see us all dead than trade with us. The world is changing, though, and I guess even Sesshoumaru has to make concessions."
"Indeed. We are here, Kagome-sama." Ren said quietly.
"Here we go…"
The deer youkai, Tomomi, was standing ready at the double shoji doors. Shippou and Rin were there waiting patiently, which was a struggle for Shippou. He kept was glancing nervously at Rin for cues on what to do.
"This way, please, Lady Kagome and Captain Ren. My Lord is expecting you."
Tomomi opened the doors and stepped inside to wait for them come in. Ren waited for Sesshoumaru to nod before bringing the miko forward and settling her to the Lord's right, Rin kneeled to her Lord's left, and Shippou followed Ren and Kagome mutely, waiting for instructions.
Kagome smelled fish and rice and the enticing smell of seasoned vegetables laid out on the table. She felt the warmth of the room breeze around her face as they stepped in from the cold hallway. She felt Ren bend down and shift his arm to help her sit at the table. But her eyes drifted to Sesshoumaru and refused to leave.
The inudaiyoukai was kneeling at the head of the table farthest from the doors and had a dainty, black teacup in one of his large hands. His impossibly long, silver hair fell behind him to the floor and pooled there. He was wearing a deep purple kimono patterned like the familiar haori she knew, with white honeycombs detailed in light pink sakura blossoms. The gold obi he wore was crisp and tied neatly at his side. The collar of his under-kimono was white and made even his skin look darker by comparison. It was simple but he managed to make it all look more elegant somehow. She fidgeted, feeling plain in comparison.
More than what he wore, his expression was unlike she had ever seen him in their many encounters. His eyes were harsh by nature, she had thought, but now they were relaxed and open. He blinked slowly and glanced at her as Ren settled her down the table to his left. Warm gold eyes that were so much like Inuyasha's but so different. His mouth, normally a hard line, was relaxed and she was surprised to notice he did, indeed, have lips and watched him as he sipped tea from the small cup. His forehead wasn't creased in disappointment or anger but smooth and flat. He seemed peaceful. She was prepared for confrontation and his usual dismissive attitude, but not for the relaxed and stoic youkai in front of her. He lifted his chin and acknowledged Ren.
"Thank you, Captain. You may go." Sesshoumaru turned to the little girl to his left. "Was your visit with the miko pleasant, Rin?"
And he was making small talk with his human ward. This was going to be a strange night. Ren bowed and excused himself, casting a warning look to Kagome before passing her and sliding the door closed. Tomomi kneeled down next to the door and waited. Rin started in like it was any old day, reporting her activities jovially to the most deadly youkai Kagome had ever met.
"Yes, I did, Sesshoumaru-sama. Kagome and Shippou are wonderful company and had some good stories to tell Rin about the village and Shippou's school." Rin smoothly poured tea for herself and Kagome, then asked Shippou if he'd like some, too. He nodded but looked embarrassed that she should do such a thing.
"Hm. And are you healing well, miko?"
"Hm?" Kagome found herself spacing out at his polite and even tone. It was confusing. His attitude was so different, so unlike any experience she had ever had with him and she had trouble deciding how to act. "Oh, sorry, yes. I've been sleeping mostly, to be honest, but my care has been excellent. Thank you again for bringing us here. I haven't spent this much time resting since… the last time I visited my mother."
'And now I'm babbling. Rein it in, Kagome. It's gonna be a long night.'
"Please eat. There is much to discuss."
"Thank you, and, yes, I agree." Kagome looked at him sternly and watched as his face reflected the Sesshoumaru she knew: the hard mask of consternation and caution. His face went from relaxed to nearly scowling in a second. Clearly, he had not been expecting conflict from her tonight. But how could he not?
Food was passed around to Rin and Kagome by Tomomi, and Shippou tried some of everything and grew more open and talkative as the meal wore on. Rin and Shippou got on well and Kagome found herself smiling at Sesshoumaru occasionally over the children's friendship before remembering each time who she was smiling at and correcting herself. They weren't single parents bonding over dinner. She was the miko he had nearly killed twice in the last week and he was her husband's murderer.
Mercifully, the meal went quickly because the children were genuinely hungry. Kagome ate very little because she was too nervous and distracted at the prospect of questioning him when it was over. They were all silent as they ate and the tension in Kagome's stomach grew as the dinner went on.
"Are you done, Shippou? Did you want anything else?" Kagome asked.
"No, I'm stuffed. That was a good meal! I haven't had food that good since Kagome last cooked at home," he said to Rin, "and that was months ago."
"That's sweet, Shippou. Thank you. We do have some nice dinners together, don't we?"
"Rin loves it when other people come for dinner, too. My tutors do not want to talk much and there are no other children to play with here."
"Well, why don't you and Shippou-"
"You and the fox kit may go-"
Shippou and Rin blinked in unison before Rin giggled and stood.
"Come on, Shippou-chan! Rin has some wonderful books and drawings to show you in my room. It's just across the hall."
"O- Okay, Rin. Momma, are you gonna be okay?" he asked quietly, eyes darting over the daiyoukai across the table.
"Of course, sweetie. I'll be fine. Go spend some more time with Rin while we're here. You'll be able to hear when we're ready to go." Kagome straightened his gifted little white yukata and patted his head.
"Excuse us then, milord, and thank you for coming to dinner, Kagome-sama." Rin bowed and Sesshoumaru nodded, dismissing them.
Tomomi opened the doors and Sesshoumaru bid her go with the children to keep them out of trouble. Kagome swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling very much alone despite the overwhelming presence of the inudaiyoukai next to her. He seemed content to merely sip his tea and sit inhumanly still. Kagome finished another cup as well before she couldn't take it anymore.
"So, the Captain tells me I have a council meeting to attend tomorrow?" Her tone was saucy and indignant and he did not miss it.
"Yes, at which you will give an account of the battle and the hanyou's loss of control. Any other information is not necessary for the purpose of the meeting." He was still gazing into the room and not at her.
"How can you do that?" She set her own teacup down and folded her hands in her lap.
"Do what, priestess?" Golden eyes found her shrunken pose and took in her scent. Wood ashes. Her sadness, he remembered. But a new layer that was spicy and burned deep in his nose.
"Sit there and calmly ask me to describe, in detail, the worst day of my life to a bunch of strangers! It was all I could do to tell Shippou the truth, let alone the gory details. Why do they need to know? And why do you need me to tell them? Can't you do that alone? Surely they'd rather hear it from you than a human."
"My account is irrelevant since it is my intent they are questioning."
"Yeah well, I question it, too. We can't change what happened now but I have not forgiven you for killing him."
"I do not need your forgiveness and I do not seek it. It was the right thing to do, whether a human woman understands that or not."
"But you do need my testimony, apparently. And if you need that, then I need some answers or no dice. I mean, I won't do it." she corrected herself.
"You will."
"Will I? And why will I do this thing for you?"
"Because, in your anger, you fail to remember what This One has done for you."
"And to me. Yes, you saved my life out there but you also almost killed me on the riverbank, and the day after that, you nearly succeeded again. Forgive me if I don't prostrate myself at your feet for fixing the damage you caused."
"Very well." He blinked slowly and locked eyes with her. "Ask your questions but-" he held a hand to still her opening mouth, "I may choose not to answer."
"Fine but you have to answer at least a few or I'll just leave and take my chances."
"Your first question, miko?" His eyes hardened as he grew weary of her childish attitude.
"Why couldn't we have tried to find another way to help him? Why the urgency to kill him?"
"I did not set out to kill Inuyasha. I set out to discover what had driven him mad. Once the discovery was made, the decision made itself. There is no cure or seal for one's innate abilities."
"But you choose when to use yours, don't you? Your poison isn't out there, melting everything you touch all the time. Why couldn't he do the same?"
"Our abilities were not the same. My father's gift was a curse for him, as well. I will say only that his ability led directly to his death. He sought the same cure you do and failed. We are not always in control of ourselves." He looked away and refused to meet her eyes.
"That's definitely true." Kagome shook her head. Agreeing with him was not the plan. "But how did your father-"
"No, miko. No questions about our father."
''Our father,' huh? Maybe he really has considered Inuyasha's feelings.' Kagome thought.
"Okay. That's fine." Kagome heard the hardness in his statement. He didn't want to talk about the Inu no Taisho. She let it go and continued. "Then why didn't you bring Tenseiga? You could have brought him back and given us time to start over."
"You are speaking through your grief again, miko, and not with your mind. That course of action only delays the inevitable. Tenseiga would not have brought him back, at any rate. It only works on those who wish to return to the living."
"He did, didn't he? Of course, he wanted to live. How can you say that?"
"Do you truly wish to know?"
Kagome nodded but was unsure. She thought she wanted to know but Sesshoumaru's tone made her heart doubt. Knowing about Inuyasha's desire for death was an irreversible thing.
"He confessed as much as he lay dying. I told him of our father and his ability and he agreed ending his life was the safest way to ensure the safety of those he loved. I agree. He ended many innocent lives while out of control, and would have lived long enough to end many more."
"He was- he was hurt and confused. There's no way he wanted to die when we had so much life ahead of us. We were happy. Just starting out. After four years of confusion and pain, we were finally together. His heart was healing from the trauma of his entire life up 'til now and we were in a good place. There's just no way he wanted to die!"
"He did not wish to die, miko. He wished to save you both from living on until your fate was far worse. It is that same reason which compelled me to move you from harm's way during our battle."
"Yeah, that one was on my list, too. Why did you save me? Why not let him kill me? I'm sure you thought about it."
"If Inuyasha had succeeded in killing the one he loved, the weight of that death on his soul would have doomed him to Hell for eternity. This One saved you to save him as well."
Tracing the same path down her cheeks again and again, the tears did not stop as Sesshoumaru told her the truth. She wiped away what she could with her sleeve but more took their place. Kagome's brain couldn't accept that her innocent hanyou, the savior of so many, had been doomed to die at the hands of his own brother. How could that be the way world worked? Her heart decided anger was an easier way to deal with this new betrayal.
"If your father could take a fang and make a sword to keep his youki under control, we could have found a way to seal his demonic half and save his life. You just didn't want to try! You opted for the easy path, admit it!"
"Hear me now: there was nothing easy about killing my brother. You may think many things about This Sesshoumaru but never that." he spat at her. He had sat quietly and calmly while she leveled her many accusations at him but the miko would not be allowed to think his decision was the result of laziness and apathy. "For me to kill one I called pack was excruciating. It goes against my very nature. You once again speak of things you do not understand."
She tried to look angry through her watery eyes and red cheeks but Sesshoumaru saw her resolve and her posture crumble again into that of someone overcome by grief.
"No, you're right. I don't understand. I don't understand any of this. I don't understand why he had to die, I don't understand why I'm here," she gestured around the room, "I don't understand how I'm supposed to go back to any kind of normal life. How could he leave me like this? Why am I doomed to be alone?"
"I feel the same at times." he said quietly.
Kagome swore she heard him sigh as she stared at her lap. She was so tired of crying in front of him. He didn't care and her tears didn't change anything. She opted for an attempt at levity instead.
"What? You? I assumed you were contented here. That's how you looked to me."
"Hm. Inuyoukai are compelled to seek the comforts of a pack. A large family group. You are not the only one who lost a family member yesterday. We are few in number now and his loss was a great one, hanyou or no."
For just a moment, she saw a flicker of pain in his eyes. Those immutable golden orbs glistened with sadness for just a moment before he shook himself free of it with a jerk of his head to stare at the door.
"But you hated him… didn't you? You made 'half-breed' comments, punished him brutally every time you met, and then-"
"Allowed him to live? Gave him the information he needed to stay alive in the future? Defeated the enemy who had already laid him low? If I wanted him dead, it would have been so long before now."
"But then why not tell him the truth? That you wanted him to stay alive? That you cared about him enough to keep him from dying?"
"You exaggerate my motivations. In truth, I expected him to live many more years without conflict. I expected-"
"Reconciliation? He wanted it, too, you know. Your acceptance was the last piece of the puzzle that would have put him back together completely. I want you to know that. He didn't need it and never asked you for it, but he wanted it."
"He told me as much before he died. His death has been more difficult than I imagined." he confessed.
Sesshoumaru and Kagome locked eyes. He was being honest and she was relieved to know it hadn't been easy.
"Good. Maybe we do understand each other now. To me it's a living nightmare."
"And a resting nightmare, as well, apparently. Has your loss of control occurred again?"
"Are you making a joke right now? And no, it hasn't. I'm sure you'd know. I haven't used my reiki out of fear, either. This has never happened before. But," she sighed," thank you for that again. I'm so glad no one was hurt."
"Have you any more questions?"
"Are you prepared to answer them? I'm surprised you've answered them all up 'til now."
"Death requires acceptance, and acceptance requires understanding."
"You sound like Miroku. And I know you're just playing nice to get me to come tomorrow. Anyway, only one: what should I expect at the meeting?"
"Hm. Tomorrow, the four Cardinal Lords meet here in my Palace to discuss the past year and prepare for the year ahead. That discussion includes a conversation about succession. Heirs are brought before the Council to gauge their fitness to rule, or else Mates are selected for those who are still unbound."
"Unbound? Gods, that sounds serious."
"Pay attention. During the discussion of succession, you will be called in to the council room to give testimony to the other three Lords regarding the need for and results of the battle with Inuyasha."
"You mean his death?" she cut in. He was tiptoeing around it but for whose benefit she couldn't tell. "Please just say that."
"Very well. You must give an account of the need for and results of Inuyasha's death. I understand that this may be difficult but you must control your emotions long enough for them to hear your words."
"I'll try but that's the best I can do. And I'll have Captain Ren there to protect me? From what exactly?"
"From the daiyoukai who may wish you harm. A miko has never been brought to Council table before."
"Never?" Kagome gaped.
"No, so your control over your emotions and energy must unwavering. Any weak display from you and they may discount your testimony as the ramblings of a grieving widow."
"Which I am."
"Which you are."
"So, I lied before. I have one more question." Kagome nervously gazed up at him and, feeling bold, scooted a little closer to his end of the table.
He eyed her approach warily. "One more and then you must retire. The children have become quiet and it is getting late."
"Are you okay? I've been worried about myself this whole time but I feel guilty now for thinking you were fine with his death."
"Do not concern yourself. I will have more time to think on his death when the Cardinal Council is done."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. You should collect the kitsune and go back to the infirmary. Captain, you may come back in now."
'He's politely telling you to butt out, Higurashi. Let it go.'
"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." came the call from beyond the door.
Kagome wondered if Ren had heard the whole conversation. Perhaps he had. Did it matter either way?
Ren had already collected Shippou, who was talking a mile a minute about some calligraphy work Rin had showed him and a drawing she'd done of the village. The Captain let the kit wander around his ankles as he bent down to collect Kagome from the floor. Sesshoumaru remained seated but nodded his dismissal.
"Well, good night, Lord Sesshoumaru."
"Hm. Be ready before noon tomorrow, miko."
Kagome shook her head and Ren smirked over her head as they made their way back to infirmary for the night. Tomorrow would be a long day…
...
Author's Note: "Yūgen" is the Japanese aesthetic used to describe the subtle profundity of things that are only vaguely suggested. I thought it was appropriate given we are just now seeing how the two MCs react together outside of mortal danger. See? Not so much doom and gloom but some closure. Hope you liked this one and I hope everyone is still safe and well! Next up, the Cardinal Council meets!