Author's Note: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the source material for this story. All are owned by Rumiko Takahashi. This fic is labeled MA per standards for eventual violence, sex, and language so be warned.

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Reconciliation

Chapter 20 - Imaginary

"Walk with me."

It was a request, she knew, even though his frequently tended to sound more like commands. Why he wanted to remain in her presence was a mystery but his need for what she hoped was a quiet walk was oddly similar to her own. Though if the clattering sound of rain outside was any indication, they would be staying inside instead. Kagome considered Sesshoumaru for a moment longer, their hands still clasped. He was patiently waiting for her answer. His hand around her own was stiff but firm. Not the warm and familiar embrace of friends but a utilitarian grasp to keep her in place, just like the situation they now found themselves in. He had been the first to reach out, however, and Kagome could respond in kind.

"…Okay."

Only after she answered did he nod and release her, his bangs settling gently above unreadable golden eyes. Sesshoumaru slipped his hand from hers and watched as several emotions battled for dominance in her far-away, cerulean gaze. Her scent was a whirlwind of everything he already knew and new depths he did not. He left her standing in the empty meeting room to gather her thoughts, turning away with a rustle of indigo silk and two long strides to the doorway before stopping to wait for her to join him in the hallway. The Captain was dutifully waiting, posted just outside the door.

"Your presence is not required this evening, Captain. I will inform you when the miko is ready to return to the guest quarters." Sesshoumaru said politely.

Ren did not answer but only bowed silently and hurried away faster than was necessary, leaving Sesshoumaru to wonder what else the General had assigned him that was suddenly so urgent.

"Where's the Captain going?" came the quiet voice of the miko as she stepped out into the hallway.

"He is dismissed until you are ready to return to your rooms. I assume you have many questions," he rumbled, and began walking to the right and away from the infirmary toward the staircase, "and you have a right to the answers."

"I do, thank you, but where are you- where are we going?"

Kagome caught up to his long strides and peered up at him. He glanced down at her for only a second before looking ahead once again as they walked.

"The weather is uncooperative so we will go to my quarters. We will not be disturbed."

"What about the children?"

"They may join us for dinner, or else you and the kitsune may return to your rooms. I will leave the decision to you."

"But not right now? I promised Shippou we'd spend most of today together and I broke that promise hours ago." she said sadly.

Guilt suffused her scent with the harsh bite of shochu liquor and Sesshoumaru had to fight the urge not to turn away or wrinkle his nose. The Lord of the West stopped and Kagome stumbled on the hem of her kimono as she turned to face him, grunting her frustrations at the encapsulating garments for the hundredth time today.

"You have questions," he simply stated, bracing a hand on his hip and leaving the other to hang loosely beside him, "and the children are young… and inexperienced."

He waited, and when she remained silent and confused, he raised one pale eyebrow in her direction.

"Oh… Oh." Kagome finally understood his meaning and looked away, suddenly finding the length of the hallway distracting. "Right."

"Hm."

Through her embarrassment, Kagome thought it was amazing how he managed to use one syllable but sound so smug at the same time. As the pair rounded the corner to take the staircase to the family rooms, Kagome felt the cool and moisture-laden wind caress her face and lift ebony strands of hair. She paused and watched the heavy raindrops falling on the courtyard from underneath the shelter of the tiled overhang.

Standing there at the edge of the storm was hypnotizing. She walked forward and inhaled deeply, still watching the sheets of water being blown in waves across the bushes and skeletal forms of dormant trees. The rain was real and familiar in a Palace full of unfamiliar sights and youkai. The young woman stood and let her mind clear as the rain beat down a steady rhythm all around.

Beyond the courtyard and the winding pathways paved with crushed shells, the low stone wall framed the bottom edge of a spectacular view into the valley below. At the moment, it was misted over with pale storm clouds and appeared as though in a fog. Dark mountains rose all around and loomed like gargantuan shadows to the left and right of the Palace. Below, the green of the valley floor could still be seen, and the small, irregular dots of villages and thin veins of human roads crisscrossed the land.

'This mountain, this Palace, would be my home.' she reflected. 'To live the rest of my life here.' She glanced shyly back over her shoulder to the daiyoukai who settled behind her a few steps away. 'With him.'

Wondering how the view from here might look in her time made Kagome sad. All of this wildness, this freedom, might be paved over down below and cluttered with smog and cell phone towers above. Did the Palace still exist? How many of the youkai she had met in the last few days were still alive?

"What do you see?" he asked from behind her, curious at the sudden change in her scent to that of wood ashes: her sadness.

"It's beautiful here." Kagome said truthfully, not turning around.

"And this saddens you?"

His innocent curiosity surprised her. Today had been full of surprises. Unsure azure eyes looked from one side of the gardens to the other, taking in the morose feel of the bare trees and lack of color as the rain beat down. Her voice was thick as she answered him.

"No, I was thinking of something else, sorry."

"Hm. Come."

He did not wait for her to turn and follow but rather started slowly up the stairs to their right and continued to climb at a sedate pace, ears trained behind him to make sure she was still following.

Kagome found the stairs difficult but not as much as before. She distracted herself from the burning sensation settling in her legs by watching the silver ponytail of her host sway with each new step. Her breath was quickening and her progress slow, but she did not stumble and finally made it the two flights to the top, flushed and out of breath.

"I'll be so glad… when I'm back to normal. Whew!"

"You are still overexerted. Your aura is very weak. You have more recovery time yet." he said matter-of-factly.

"I know but I'm ready to feel like myself again."

"So you may lose to Ren in the dojo?" he cast over his shoulder, almost at the end of the family hall.

"I'm not- going- to lose." she huffed, still recovering and bracing a hand on the wall. "Besides, it's just practice."

"It will not be to him. The Captain does not take contests lightly. His youth and demeanor prevent it."

"Any pointers then?"

"I thought This One was not supposed to cheat." he said, turning his head to walk into his rooms. She thought she saw the corner of his mouth quirk up but couldn't be sure.

"You got me. I'll figure it out later. Right now, I'd just like very much to sit down."

Kagome took slow and careful steps down the hallway and halted outside the doors to his rooms as he strode around, touching things here and there, unconcerned. Entering this space now felt infinitely more intimate, and her feet remained rooted to the floor realizing he might be expected to share these rooms in a few years. The young priestess wrung her hands in the doorway as the inudaiyoukai walked around the room, gathering a change of clothes, completely at ease in the space that was his alone.

'It's just a room. Get it together.' she lied to herself.

The dark wood of the floor was warm and comfortable as she slipped off her shoes and stepped inside. Sesshoumaru was now occupied behind the screen at the far end that was, unsurprisingly, a colorful and violent scene of battle between inuyoukai and some kind of black feline youkai. When he took the first step out from behind the screen, clawed fingers were still straightening and tightening the white nagajuban and the flowing golden hakama from before. Kagome realized she was openly staring right at him and turned around with rose-dusted cheeks, seating herself at the table a little too quickly and catching an elbow on the edge, swearing loudly. It took a moment for the pain to subside and her to notice the steaming tea service laid in the middle of the table.

'When did he ask someone for that?' she thought, idly rubbing her tingling forearm.

Her suspicions began to grow. He had been so calm as Katsurou leveled his punishment. Too calm. In the past, merely encountering her friends in the road was enough to provoke him but now the proud, human-hating Lord of the West was calmly accepting his fate to marry a priestess, and inviting her up to his private rooms for tea to discuss it. What was going through that demonic mind of his?

Sesshoumaru sat down at the end of the table, just as he had done at their dinner together only yesterday. His hands reached up to close around the silver hair ornament and with a swift pull of the silver stick, the entire mass of it came tumbling free like water around his shoulders. With a gentle shake of his head, his wintry hair settled around him and pooled onto the floor. Setting the ornament down lightly on the table, he settled himself and met her eyes. The daiyoukai looked like himself again and she found familiarity blooming warmly in her chest. Finally, something today was slightly more recognizable in her world, never mind the bare expanse of his startlingly muscular chest showing through the deepened gap in the crisp, white nagajuban. He was either unaware or unconcerned about it and seemed relaxed for the first time today since the meeting had started this morning.

'And it would be nice to shed a few layers, I agree.' Kagome fidgeted a little in her seat, rolling her shoulders under the weight of the elaborate kimono, and reached for the tea.

"Would you like some?" she asked nervously. When he nodded, she readied both small, black cups in front of herself.

'She has some manners. Perhaps there will be less work to do than I assumed.' he thought idly watching the silver teardrop of her necklace fall forward as she leaned to claim the tea. When she sat back down, his eyes followed it again as it bounced to settle again between the barely exposed cleavage her bold crimson kimono created. He was so focused on that small glint of silver, her question almost startled him when she asked it.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked, pouring his cup first and handing it to him.

"You know nothing of youkai-"

"Well, that's hardly fair-"

"-Mating." he finished, silently amused when her mouth snapped shut and she looked back down at her cup.

She was quiet for a moment. He took the opportunity to enjoy the tea and his victory over her misappropriated confidence. She gathered her thoughts and sharp amber eyes watched as she considered how best to begin again as the blood slowly faded from her cheeks. Small hands fidgeted in her lap with a delicate ivory tassel from her obi.

"You're right. But can we please start with something less… less…" she sighed, "just less?"

"Such as?"

"Why did you agree to this so easily? Katsurou-sama is playing with you. He knows you hate humans, hanyou, and everything in between."

"I do not hate so much, miko. Humans have become allies and are a permanent fixture. We agreed on as much during the morning. However, my agreement to the Mating was the product of necessity."

"You mispronounced 'coercion'." she said flatly.

Sesshoumaru sighed, and Kagome decided she didn't like the sound coming from his lips. It seemed tired and small. Everything he wasn't, or shouldn't be.

"Ren learned of Katsurou's plot yesterday and reported such. I was aware this request might be made during the meeting and prepared accordingly. Now Rin will live a full life."

"You knew?! Why didn't you warn me?"

"Your reaction to his punishment had to be genuine for the effect to placate him. He would not have expected such an… animated response from me, whatever the circumstances."

"Okay, that's maddening… and manipulative… but I suppose I understand. That explains the tea, too, then." He nodded, satisfied she could see the need for both. "But I still don't understand why the thought doesn't make you all…" Kagome waved her hands in the air, searching for the words, "…act like you."

His turned eyes turned harsh and found hers as he scowled. He would now allow this relationship, whatever it would become, to begin this way. Even her short lifespan should not be lived under the misconception that he was only as he had been during the hunt for the evil hanyou.

"You do not know me. I said as much once before in the valley. Do not misunderstand my attitudes during the hunt for Naraku with intimate knowledge of my habits."

"Are you saying you've changed?"

"I am reminding you that your experiences in my presence have never been calm or rational, and rarely outside of battle. Therefore, in this way and many others, we are unknown to each other. Do you agree?"

"You're right. I suppose that's true. Still doesn't explain why you didn't even try to refuse or threaten him, though."

"Rin would never be safe. Youkai blood payment cannot be passed over. If I killed him, his Mate would rightfully seek vengeance and, in the end, war and a blood feud would carry over to future generations. If I refused, he could threaten war on the West over the break in tradition in preventing his revenge. The result is the same and I wish for neither."

"So, the only way out is to agree? And now, if I disappear, he reclaims his rights to her life." He nodded. "Well, I won't be going home then."

"You may return to Edo for the next two years." he said, wondering why she would not.

"No, I didn't mean there. I meant my mother's home." At his silent but continued gaze, she continued. "It's… far away. It might look like I was running away."

"Katsurou will most likely forget about you between now and the ceremony. Cats are not revered for their long attention spans." he scoffed.

"And you're sure enough about that to allow me to leave? To travel out of reach?"

"Nowhere is out of reach of This Sesshoumaru," he sipped his tea.

She cocked an eyebrow. "Don't be so sure."

"I am but your caution is noted and appreciated."

She was silent for a moment, letting the truth remain a secret for the time being. Two years was a long time and if the Mating did happen in the end, he had the right to know her origins then but not before.

The well. It had been weeks since she'd thought of it. Thoughts of the well were followed with thoughts of Inuyasha. What would going back to Edo feel like now? Kagome shook the feelings away for the moment and settled for spinning the cup in a slow circle with her nervous fingers before continuing.

"He can be buried there in Edo, can't he? I haven't had a chance to ask."

She did not have to elaborate on who 'he' was. Inuyasha would be there at the forefront of their conversations in the near future whether he was the subject or not.

"Yes." he almost whispered. "Inuyasha was left in the hands of the monk to be buried there, he said, by those Inuyasha knew best in life."

"Good," She swallowed and Sesshoumaru did not miss the shining of unshed tears in her eyes, "but you sound slightly bitter about that."

"That the monk did not consider the West Inuyasha's home was not a surprise but I wished for him to be buried here in the halls of his ancestors many years from now when he died naturally, yes. However, with the Council gathered and the North wronged as it was, I returned him to Edo instead to prevent more questions. If the timing had been different, he would have rested here."

"Thank you. He'd be happy to be here, too, I think. Of course, you're welcome to pay your respects in the village as often as you want to."

"Your fellow villagers might disagree. Had I returned him during the day instead of the dead of night, I am not certain his return would have been so peaceful."

She nodded then froze as the realization hit her and Kagome's attention was returned to him in full.

"Wait, you returned him?"

"I did. That same night." He gazed down into the teacup.

Kagome's face fell and Sesshoumaru's expression changed to that of someone stretched too thin. It wasn't overt sadness or guilt but a strange, unsettling combination of the two. He was retreating within himself right in front of her to escape the memories. Grief, she understood right now. The miko dipped her head down to draw his gaze and for a moment she thought he might ignore her. Slowly, golden eyes angled in her direction and she noticed the downturn of his brows in sadness.

"I'm sorry. I left you all alone there to take care of him. You took care of both us that night. I don't know that I could've been so strong, even for Souta."

He did not comment on her commiseration, only nodding, but something she said did catch his ear and he latched onto it to divert the conversation.

"A brother?" He realized in that moment that he knew nothing about her beyond her position, her kit, and her connection to Inuyasha. The reward for his curiosity was her gentle smile, in recognition of his need to change the subject or over thoughts of her brother, he could not tell.

"Yes, younger. He lives at home with my mother and my grandfather. I lived there, too, before coming back here."

'She was surrounded by family before marriage. That explains her gravitation to pack behavior.' he considered.

"Since we're talking about family, do you plan on keeping Rin here from now on?" Kagome continued.

"Yes, if she wishes it."

"Then you don't plan to visit Edo at all in the next two years?"

"I see no need."

"Didn't you ask for a 'courting period' or something like that? Don't you need to, you know, be present for that?"

"It was a request Katsurou could not refuse in order to extend the amount of time granted to you before the Rites."

"Oh."

When her fidgeting began again and her scent took on new sour notes of her nervousness, he was admittedly confused.

"You wish it to be genuine?" He was curious more than surprised and tipped his head just slightly to watch her answer.

"I… don't know? I guess it depends of what you expect from… whatever this will be. I'd like to get to know you better, either way. I think that seeing you once or twice in the next few years would help, don't you?"

"Perhaps. A Mating is not a marriage but something much less familiar to you. Very few humans, to my knowledge, have ever participated in such deeply personal bonding. I expect only that you will have a difficult period of adjustment to the changes within you, and that more explanations will be required."

"Okay." Kagome sat up straighter and took a deep breath, finally ready to face the facts of her new reality. "So, what is it exactly? A- A Mating?"

He readied his thoughts and pushed the empty teacup toward her, inclining his head. She quietly refilled it, still considering him.

"I will start at the beginning. We can move past the selection process since that has been done for us." he said, more calmly than she would have thought possible. "During courting, prospective Mates are expected to remain monogamous, prove their fitness to provide for pups, and demonstrate the power they bring to the coupling. A singular demonstration of both of the latter is usually sufficient unless there are challengers who wish to compete for the male or female."

"Humans are much the same though they go about it very differently. Doesn't sound so different though. Female youkai challenge each other to take males away, too?"

"Frequently. Demonesses are proud and generally both overly possessive and affectionate." he scoffed.

"Males are not?"

"Proud, perhaps." He ignored her parroted snort of 'Perhaps.' down the table and continued. "After the fitness of the Mates are proven, the Bonding ceremony is held to incorporate the immediate families and any other necessary witnesses, in this case the Council. Rites are read, which you will be taught, and blood is shared-"

"Blood? Why? How?"

"If you continue to interrupt, miko, this will take much longer than is necessary." He raised an eyebrow and Kagome scowled for a second then apologized. "During the Rites, small cuts are scored into the palm of the hand at appropriate times and at the conclusion of the ceremony, hands are bound and blood is shared. In our true youkai forms, the Rites are more violent but you are human and cannot participate in that way."

He noted that she looked serious at the mention of sharing blood but, to her credit, did not wilt or wince. She did appear remorseful for a moment but his patience was rewarded.

"Does that disappoint you?"

"No. In This One's experience, Mating in such a way always leads to violence or an excess of open sexual encounters, neither of which I wish for Rin to witness."

"Oh, kami, no. Shippou either. I've talked to him a little and he knows a few details from Inuyash-" she went immediately silent, her sadness infusing the air. "…Sorry."

"Do not hide your connection. He cannot live between us. You were bonded in your own way. I recognize what that means for both you and the kitsune."

"Thank you." He tipped his head just slightly in acknowledgement but instead of placating her, she only grew redder. "Then you know that means I'm not… pure anymore, either? That isn't a dealbreaker for youkai?"

"Hardly." He scoffed. "Youkai accept the truth that intimacy is normal and expected, Mated or no. It is far more unnatural to suppress instincts than to obey them. The importance human males place on purity is only a reflection of how little they care to maintain their own in favor of unreasonably demanding it from their females."

Kagome blinked her amazement for a moment.

"Wow. Sesshoumaru is a feminist." Kagome crossed her arms in jovial surprise, "I did not expect that from you. We actually have something in common."

If he was unfamiliar with the term, he still understood her meaning and inclined his head.

"We have a shared history, miko. There is also comfort in that."

"I suppose there is. Rin is a very lucky little girl to have you in her corner."

"And you care for her."

It wasn't a question but an observation, and Kagome's eyes softened thinking of Rin and her kit playing happily this afternoon.

"Very much, actually."

He thought for a moment, warring with himself over continuing and this time it was Kagome's turn to wait patiently and sip her tea.

"I admit that is another wholly selfish reason for accepting this proposal."

"That Rin has a human to watch over her as well?"

He nodded. "That she gains a mother figure whom she can relate to and see herself in. It is not lost on me that she is often lonely. That she is already familiar with you is comforting. A demoness would not likely be so welcoming."

Kagome looked at him with new eyes. He was reasonable, cautious, and caring. Not at all like she had assumed he'd be and she told him so.

"You… are not what I expected."

"Nor are you." When she cocked her head ever so slightly to encourage him to continue, he did not disappoint. "Your childish outbursts during our previous encounters were not flattering."

Kagome laughed for just a moment the raised her chin in mock defiance.

"I have a lot of feelings, and that's okay, but I'm not that virginal, fifteen-year old schoolgirl anymore, true. I was only two years older than Rin is now when I first- when the jewel shattered." Kagome shook her head. "That's a sobering thought. That reminds me: can I ask how old you are? I've always wanted to know."

"Nine hundred and fifty-two. And you?"

"Wow... I'm only nineteen." Her amazement was evident and his lips twitched upward just lightly. "And does it bother you that I won't live very long at all compared to you?"

"You will live as you are meant to. You will live to see as much of the future as a human should."

When Kagome snorted and nearly spit out her tea, he was confused and slightly disgusted but continued.

"The breaking of a Mating Bond to death, however, is jarring for the surviving Mate but do not concern yourself."

"Jarring? What happens?"

He paused before answering. His only firsthand experience had been observing his mother after the Inu no Taishou died. Her unbridled grief had been disconcerting to watch but Kikuko had truly loved his father before Touga's infidelity. His mother would not speak of her experience to him directly but he remembered being witness as a pup to the consequences: her violent outbursts, disappearing for weeks into the wilderness in her true form, and the emotional turmoil for years after. If her reaction in the Council room was evidence, the grief remained near to the surface even now.

'Will losing a human Mate be as disconcerting?'

"Sesshoumaru? Are you okay?"

The faraway look he adopted made her concerned. She watched the knit of his brow and the downturn of his mouth as he considered something unpleasant.

"Yes. Merely considering how a Mating to a human will affect me. I can hypothesize but I do not know. In youkai, the loss is felt keenly for many years. Perhaps we have much to learn in the next two years."

'We?' she wondered. 'He says 'we' now?'

"Yes, I suppose we do. Since we were talking about Rin, I have a request."

"Such is not unusual from an intended. Name it."

"Oh, it's nothing like that. It's selfish, too, I suppose. I won't outlive even Rin and definitely not Shippou, and I accepted that. Once I'm gone, though, Shippou would be left alone again now that Inuyasha is gone. Can I ask that you keep him here with you when I'm gone? I could never rest easy knowing he's all alone again."

"Very well. The kit will not be left alone unless he wishes it. Once we are Mated, he will be given a place in our pack and a permanent place in the Palace. I will not name him my heir but he will be provided for as long as the West stands."

"Thank you. We'll have my lifetime to get him used to the idea. He means so much to me and I'm truly grateful. Now each of the children will have a parent who knows what they need." Kagome happily sipped her tea for a moment, surprisingly contented in how well she and the daiyoukai could converse. "This Bonding ceremony. You mentioned that for youkai, it ends up in… what did you say?"

"Bloodletting and public rutting?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Yes. That. Is that part of the ceremony for us, too?" she asked nervously.

"No."

Kagome visibly relaxed.

"Our first joining will be that night after the feast is over and we have secluded ourselves."

"Oh- Okay. And what happens exactly?"

"I was under the impression you were familiar with intimacy but if you require further explanation-"

"No, damn it. Not that. But us… together… is part of the Mating ceremony?"

"The final act. Once we are Bonded by the Rites in front of the Council, there is a feast and celebration at the Palace for the remainder of the day."

"Humans do that, too. That's the same." she nodded, understanding, and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Then we will retire to the Inner Sanctum of the mountain where there are a cluster of rooms specifically carved out for newly Mated pairs to spend their first few weeks together in solitude."

"Weeks?! We'll have to be gone for weeks? Humans usually take a few days to a week or so to travel somewhere alone so I guess that's not actually that different but weeks?"

"Generally, the conception of an heir is attempted during this seclusion. The main purpose of our retiring is to consummate the Bond and allow for the privacy required for a Mark to take. Weeks are not needed for that alone so a day or two may suffice."

"Your rooms aren't secluded enough? Why the separation?"

"Daiyoukai hearing is exceptional."

"Oh, I forgot about that." New color lit her cheeks at the thought. "And you mentioned 'Marking,' which is what exactly?"

"The Mark is the infusion of my youki that binds us together, links us irrevocably, but it is also an intensely physical experience, I have heard."

"Right but what is it? How is it done?"

"At the peak of intimacy, when youki is stirred into its most primal and basic nature, fangs are used to create a pathway through your aura for my youki to penetrate and reside within you. I am less sure how it will affect a miko, however, so-"

"You're gonna bite me?!"

"Mark you." he corrected. "I do not take pleasure in the pain it will cause you but it is necessary."

"What the hell?! Why is every part of youkai Mating so physical and violent?"

"Humans are no less physical or violent, miko, however much they like to pretend otherwise. Youkai recognize the need and the innate intimacy in these allowances to their life partners. As a result of the Mark, not only is Rin safe but it will allow you sense my emotions and physical presence intimately for the entirety of your life."

"You defend it very well, Sesshoumaru. I guess we'll have to hope it works then. Have… Have you ever been Mated before?"

"No." he said quickly.

"Oh. So this is new to you, too?"

"You are the first." Sesshoumaru captured her eyes, his expression unreadable.

"The first… Mate, right? Not the first first?"

"Are you asking if I have rutted with others at all in the last six hundred years past my maturity?" He cocked a delicate eyebrow in her direction and she laughed.

"Okay, fine. Dumb question."

"Indeed."

"So what about after? After Mating and Marking, and kami knows that's a lot on its own, what happens to me?"

"You will reside here in the Palace with the children and we begin our reign as a Mated pair."

"With you? Or apart from you? What do you expect?"

"I expect that we will have much to decide in two years and one cannot predict the future."

"Okay. I agree with that. What about children? Children are something I do want, Sesshoumaru. Not immediately after the Mating, but sometime in the future. Maybe when we know each other better?"

"I have no desire to bring more hanyou into the world."

That simple statement was the first truly unforgiving thing he had said and Kagome visibly winced. She began again but her voice was quiet and unsure. He had said as much in the Council chamber but refused to elaborate then.

"Why?"

"They are an abomination. Neither human nor youkai and impossible to predict, and I will not have hanyou heirs. Any children born between us, as a Mated pair, would be recognized as such. That I would outlive them to regain control of the West is insulting in itself but then to consider that they might be targeted for ridicule their entire lives by the youkai that they should rule over is laughable. They would bring ruin to the West."

"But your brother…"

"-Existed. He was born of my father and human hime. I had no control over those events. That he lived to adulthood and grew into his power was rare enough. That he was the only one left of our bloodline to inherit the West was a tragedy."

"I don't understand. Didn't you say that Inuyasha's death was a loss, even as a hanyou?"

"Yes, that is still true."

"Then even as a hanyou, he had value to you as an inuyoukai?" Her voice became less timid as the thoughts gained strength in her mind.

"However-"

"And we already learned there was no risk of your own children inheriting your father's abilities?"

"What are you-"

"And there are no more inuyoukai besides you and your mother?"

"Yes, however-"

"So how do you plan to create this perfect heir you so desperately need when you physically can't?" Kagome crossed her arms in frustration.

"Miko!" He barked, tired of her interruptions. "First, conception of my heir is not your concern. And second," he quieted the anger in his voice, "if you wish so desperately to have children of your own, you may choose a partner in the future at your discretion."

"What?!"

He did not expect her shock and outrage. Had he not just acquiesced to her wishes? He was allowing her this thing she wanted so badly in a way they could both abide, was he not?

"Was I not clear? If you wish to have children born of your own body, you may-"

"Don't say it again! Why on earth would you think I could do that?"

"Why not? It seems a logical conclusion. Any children born between us would be hanyou, which I cannot condone. So, if you wish to find someone to father your children other than This Sesshoumaru, you may."

"So, I'll be married to you but you expect me to be in love with someone else? To raise children with someone else while I'm living here in the Palace? That's beyond weird and complicated. No way. And how is that less embarrassing for you than hanyou children?"

"Mated, not married, woman. Multiple partners are common among youkai. No one would begrudge you a consort. And love is not necessary for procreation."

"Yes, love is necessary. I won't bring children into the world without a partner I love."

"Then the choice is made for you, priestess."

"It is not! This is important to me and you're making it sound like an inconvenience!" She thrust a hand at him in anger.

He stood against the table and loomed over her before growling and turning away, pacing to the back of the room then back to her, his low growl all the time thrumming in the air between them. Sesshoumaru came back to stand at the end of the table again and planted his feet, losing the battle for calm within himself.

"This situation is an inconvenience! Your presence is an inconvenience! I am to bear your human thoughts, emotions, knowledge of you I have no wish to hold for the decades of your short life before I am allowed to resume my own. You selfishly assume the burden is yours alone and the hardship in this lies only with you. Let me remind you that the entirety of the West will know of this farce of a Mating between us and that I will endure their scorn for millennia to come after you are nothing but a memory! You are a naïve child if you have not considered the affect this will have on my life, as well."

"And you're an ass! I've asked you several times if this was hard for you, what you wanted, and you gave me the right answer but not the real one! Be honest with me, Sesshoumaru! I'm the only one who understands this fucked up situation!" Kagome stood on shaky legs and faced him, uncaring of the tears gathering at his callousness. "And right now, I need a break from you and from this conversation before I say something I'll regret. I'm leaving. I'll take Shippou to our room and explain everything to him there. I'm going to assume you'll do the same for Rin. I'll stay until the storm passes and then I'm leaving for Edo. If you need me, you know where I'll be."

Kagome stood and left the room without a backward glance. He could easily follow her, drag her back, demand she stay, and she knew that. So, when the young woman made her way as quickly as she could through the empty hallways unaccosted, she was grateful he chose to leave her be.

Tears pricked her eyes for the first time since this morning and she almost laughed. This morning her tears had been for Inuyasha, and now she was crying for herself. Lamenting her own future. Kagome recognized she had lured herself into a false sense of security regarding the demon Lord currently fuming away upstairs. He had been so disarmingly attentive, honest, and unexpected that Kagome stamped her foot on the first landing of the staircase in frustration at allowing him into her heart for only a moment, thinking they might share a companionship she could live with.

But that could never be if he was so unwilling to listen.

'They are an abomination.' She shivered at the easy way he had said it. It was the simple truth to him.

'And I thought he was grieving for Inuyasha. He was grieving his own loss of a brother, not a hanyou. How could I have been so stupid?'

Shaking her head, ebony hair was set into motion in gentle waves across her shoulders, whispering against the ornate red and sky-blue silks. Taking the last of the steps a little faster, driven by anger to get as far away from this corner of the Palace as possible, Kagome stepped down the last stair and into the hall, walking as quickly as she could on sore legs to find the infirmary.

'Ren said Kenshin wanted to see me before I go to sleep and I'm want to get to it as fast as possible. Maybe he'll know where Tomomi is with the children, too.'

It was getting dark and the storm was getting worse. Between the dark rainclouds and the fading evening light, Kagome could barely see down the hallway, and only to make out general shapes and the layout of the space.

'Why would they need to light the hallways, right? It's not like night-blind humans live here all the time.'

One more reminder that she was a stranger in a strange place. At any moment, any of the occupants of the halls and many guest rooms could end her life with very little effort. She was weakened and very much alone here.

Kagome had nearly reached the last corner before meeting the infirmary doors when she collided roughly and unexpectedly with a body carrying a tray of hot liquid. The bowl of scalding water cascaded down her front and lingered in the heavy silk fabric she wore, making Kagome bite her lip to keep from crying out.

"Oh, Kagome-sama, I'm so sorry!" the familiar voice of Tomomi came from the dark.

"Son of a bitch!" the miko hissed.

"Lady Kagome! Let me get a towel!"

"No, just help me take this thing off. It still burns- Ah!"

"Okay, hold on."

With practiced hands, Tomomi removed the obi and the outer layers, checking for more damp fabric as she went. The deer youkai could see the red and angry skin between her breasts even in the dark, flaring in some places as high as the miko's collarbone.

"Oh, Lady Kagome, I am so sorry. Your nagajuban is dry enough but your chest…" Green eyes flashed in the dark and Kagome was glad one of them could see well enough to deal with this mess.

"Stop- ow! Stop apologizing. It was an accident. I probably ran into you. I can't see a thing out here. Kenshin's about to get a lesson in salves now. Damn, that stings."

Muted yelling came through the infirmary doors and both women's heads turned and looked up from the floor, surprised.

"-And she was forced to sit there and listen while they told her how she would live the rest of her life! They gave her absolutely no choice!"

"Ren, it isn't our concern. Not mine and not yours. Lord Sesshoumaru will take care of her-"

"He'll ignore her and wait for the moment she dies before finding some bitch that will give him pure blooded heirs. Hell, he might not wait that long. She'll be miserable and lonely once Rin and Shippou are gone."

"Watch your tongue! Someone will hear you, you idiot!"

"I don't know that I care! He's always been accommodating to us but we're inu. I never considered how he treats everyone else until today. He didn't even try to protest. Rin is one human girl and he's willing to trade Kagome for Rin without a second thought."

"And what do you intend to do about it? Challenge him for the West? Start a war with the North?"

"Seven hells, I don't know!"

"Then sit down and be reasonable! Use your brain and think this through before coming in here, knocking tables over like a pup who can't keep his tail. I fail to see why you're so mad, at any rate, because this has nothing to do with you."

"I don't know but it's wrong! She doesn't deserve it, Kenshin, and I feel so useless. I failed Inuyasha-sama and now she's doomed, too."

"You are not useless. His death was not your fault." Kagome heard someone sit heavily in a chair. "We can be here for her. We can help her navigate what is sure to be a difficult adjustment."

"I can't stand by and watch her end up like mother, Kenshin. Heartbroken and saddled with pups all alone while he lives his life like he's not destroying hers."

"Sesshoumaru-sama is not like our father, Ren, and you know that." Kenshin said firmly.

"But mother fell in love with that bastard anyway. Kagome might do the same." Ren said angrily.

When Kagome stopped listening, fresh tears were running down her face. Everything they had said could be true. Her own future could be painfully similar to the vision they had laid out. Before she could fully process the implications of the argument she was never meant to hear, a sharp flare of youki came from upstairs and the two women's heads quickly turned to stare down the dark hallway. Sesshoumaru was calling someone. She and Tomomi locked eyes a second before the doors to the infirmary snapped open revealing an angry Captain and, deeper into the room behind him, a surprised and embarrassed chief healer.

Ren sighed and closed his pale green eyes in guilt and resignation.

"I will return. Stay here with Kenshin, my Lady." Ren said curtly.

Kagome could only mutely nod as he stepped around them and disappeared.

"Kagome-sama? Are you- Kami! What happened to you? Come inside. Let's see what I can do about that. Tomomi, are you alright?"

"Yes, Kenshin-san, I am fine."

"Good. What were you doing in the hallway?"

The scent of tears gave him pause and he sighed.

"Do not take it to heart, Lady Kagome. Ren is mistaken in his assumptions and doesn't know when-"

"No. He's right." the miko said, silent tears falling down her cheeks. "And it's already started."

...

Author's Note: They needed to hash it all out. Now you know what they expect, too. This was never going to be an easy transition. Grief takes time and centuries of prejudice can't disappear with a keystroke, now matter how much I wanna get to the fluffy stuff. Hope you enjoy it and let me know if you do! As always, hope everyone is safe and well and can find some TP!