Author's Note: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the source material for this story. All are owned by Rumiko Takahashi. This fic is labeled MA per standards for eventual violence, sex, and language so be warned.
...
Reconciliation
Chapter 22 – Uprising
A few minutes later, Kagome and Shippou sat in the large, inlaid women's tub in the guest bathing rooms. The young priestess was seated against the wall on a submerged, stone bench and Shippou was standing shoulder-deep and just out of reach, batting Kagome's soap-lathered hands away.
"Shippou, hold still! You've got dirt and pieces of gravel still stuck in your ears and your hair."
"Gah! Leave them alone! You scrub too hard. I'll get it!" He covered his ears with both hands and glared at her.
"You'd better. And you'd better never, ever pelt me with oni snot again." She shivered, fingering her now-clean hair. "That was disgusting."
"But it worked didn't it? Gave me a chance to get away. I thought for sure I'd get you this time." He grinned as he scrubbed the dirt out of his tail.
"That was a good trick. And you might have but next time, if you feel heavy footsteps, don't take the bait." she said playfully, winking at him.
"You did that on purpose?" He blinked at her.
"Of course. This was training." She tapped his nose with her index finger. "If you get caught like that again, do my heart a favor and burrow in the opposite direction, okay?"
"I know I'm still learning but I can take care of myself."
"I know you can but there's wisdom in running away sometimes, too. Now come here and let's get you clean and get out."
"And then what?"
"I don't know. Maybe we should invite Rin over for dinner and ask her to read you some more poetry?" She gave him a knowing smirk.
"No, Ma-"
"Oh, Rin would love to do that, Kagome-sama!" came an exuberant voice from the entrance to the women's bath.
Kagome and Shippou looked at each other and giggled for a second before Rin made her way through the ivory, linen curtains and joined them, wrapped up in a robe and carrying her bathing things.
"Hello, Rin-chan. Are you bathing here, too?"
"Yes, Kagome-sama. Rin's bath is nice but lonely. When Sesshoumaru-sama told me you had come to the baths, I hoped I would catch you."
"Well, I'm glad you did. Sesshoumaru said he talked to you last night?"
"Yes! And told me all about how you two will be married in two years! I am so glad!"
Kagome smiled warmly, glad Rin was happy about it, anyway. Shippou sat there bobbing in the water, contemplating seriously and silently.
"But we cannot read tonight because we will all be having dinner together tonight!" Rin continued, causing Shippou to sigh in relief. "My Lord wants me to tell you that we are having dinner with Kouji-san this evening."
"We are? And why didn't he tell me this himself? Again?"
The low voice that spoke from the entrance made Kagome jump and hide herself lower in the water.
"Because, miko, I was under the impression that observing women bathing was frowned upon in human society. However, if it is not-"
His tall, unmistakable shadow crossed the curtain and Kagome was suddenly overcome with virginal shyness.
"No! No, it most definitely is frowned upon! Do not come in!"
"I thought as much. Dinner is shortly after sundown. I will retrieve you from your rooms."
She looked around at Rin and Shippou and then back to the curtain but his outline had disappeared.
"And what am I supposed to wear?" she called.
No answer.
"Guess I'll find out later." she shrugged. "Okay, then Rin: let's get you cleaned up, too."
"Rin can bathe herself, Kagome-sama."
"No, let Kagome do it! She scrubs fur really well."
"Not that you'll let me tonight, runt."
"Rin doesn't have fur, Shippou-chan." Rin chided, then paused and continued nervously. "But Kagome-sama can help me, if she wants to?"
"Of course. Scoot over here and let's get you clean, too. Scrub out your ears, Ship. Don't make me tell you again."
Rin beamed from her seat, listening to the priestess scolding the kit. She felt the first few firm tugs of her hair and the lather of soap tickle her scalp as Kagome got to work and began softly humming a sad tune.
'Rin has a mother again.' the young teen thought happily.
…
An hour later, everyone was clean and wrapped up in fresh, white yukata.
"I must go get dressed in my rooms now. Thank you for letting me bathe with you, Kagome-sama. Shippou-kun."
"Anytime, Rin-chan. We'll definitely see you before we leave. I'll make sure of it."
As they exited the bathhouse, Kagome watched Rin walk away and toward the family rooms and she let her eyes adjust to the pale moonlight shining through the thin clouds. The storm was finally passing, and would be nothing but gray clouds and humid breezes by tomorrow morning.
A dark shadow appeared in the hallway from the same direction Rin had gone and Kagome snatched Shippou up from the floor and widened her stance. Another step forward and she held her breath, waiting. Suddenly the moon was freed from cover and Kagome was startled to find the Eastern heir blinking in the hallway, looking lost and confused. His pale, white hair and glowing, red eyes stood out even more now as he was framed by moonlight in the corridor of the guest hall.
"Kouhei-sama?" she tried quietly. "Are you lost?"
"That's none of your concern, human." he scowled.
He certainly looked lost, squinting and turning in a slow circle just outside the bathrooms.
"Okay, then. Have a pleasant evening." Kagome waved and turned around to leave, calling his bluff.
"Wait!" he called out, sounding more desperate than he meant to. The young dragon cleared his throat and continued. "I am lost. My uncle walked this way a few minutes ago to see my cousin but I lost track of him."
"Your cousin?"
"My cousin was brought here as a potential Mate to Sesshoumaru-sama and is staying in the guest wing. Just point me in the right direction, miko."
That haughty voice of his sounded forced so the priestess thought she'd try this conversation another way.
"Kagome." she corrected.
"What?" he snapped.
"My name is Kagome." She held out an amiable hand.
"I care not what your name is. Show me the way to the guest wing, human."
"Fine. Follow me." she huffed. "One day, I'll get someone in this place to just use my name."
"Momma?" Shippou whispered in her ear. "I don't think he can see in the dark and I don't think he can hear me either."
"What makes you say that?" she whispered back.
"Did you say something, human?" Kouhei asked sharply from behind them.
"That. He doesn't have my hearing. Youkai hearing." Shippou whispered again, tapping his pointed ear.
"How odd." she whispered again. "Hold on. I'm going to try to sense what's different about him. His uncle said something about a 'condition' at the Council meeting. I had forgotten."
"Be careful." He nuzzled her cheek.
Kagome nodded and called up her power, spreading it thinly around them like a veil. Kouhei didn't react to the feeling of her reiki at all. Shippou shivered.
'That's weird. He is a youkai, right?'
Concentrating it further, she directed the flow of energy behind her, trying to sense him directly. She could, but only barely. A small, intensely bright, blue pinpoint of youki shone back when she prodded even further and still, Kouhei didn't react. Further, focused exploration with her eyes closed lead to the discovery of another youki surrounding the small nucleus completely, crackling in warning as she examined him.
'It's sealed! That's why he's so weak and pale. He's living like a human in a demon's body!' she thought, ignoring the irony she considered her own species weak in her assessment.
His youki was bound tightly, folded in on itself so densely that Kagome hadn't detected it at all in the beginning. He could have been stifled this way his entire life. Bound and gagged so completely, his youki might never have been freed. Kouhei of the East had been living as a shade of what he could be. Kagome made a decision and gritted her teeth.
"This is probably going to come back to bite me." she sighed aloud.
"What is?" Shippou asked.
"His youki is sealed, Ship." she whispered to him.
"What are you blabbering about, miko? Are we there yet?" Kouhei peered around her.
Kagome stopped halfway between the guest rooms and the baths they had come from.
"Shippou, I need you to go to our rooms and stay there, no matter what happens. No matter what you sense out here."
"You're not gonna-" His bright green eyes looked afraid.
"Yeah," she sighed sadly. "I am. It's for the best and no one would ever let me... but he might."
"Sesshoumaru's gonna be pissed."
"Language. And yes, he is, but you don't need to be here in the crossfire."
"Be careful, Momma. That uncle of his is gonna be mad, too, and he's right down there." Shippou pointed in the direction of their rooms.
"I know but I can handle him, I think. Go back to the rooms and do not move. I'll be there as soon as I can."
Shippou nodded and scampered away down the hall, giving her one last look as he rounded the corner.
"Where is the kitsune going?" Kouhei asked, confused. "And why have you stopped walking?"
"Kouhei-sama, I'm really sorry about this but if I'm right, you'll thank me for it one day. Or you won't." she laughed hollowly.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, suddenly wary and leaning away from her.
"Do you know your youki is sealed away? Do you know why?"
"What are you talking about? I was born this way and the details of my condition are none of-"
"Was it done without your knowledge?"
"It is not- Was not- Sealed?" he whispered, considering. "My father said once that mother's power was too… No! He would never have done such a thing!"
"I certainly hope not. Would you like to see what your life could be like if you were whole?"
Kagome was pushing and she knew it. At any moment, the angry Ryouzou could end her for even attempting to use reiki on the heir to the East, but her conscience and desire to help were clouding her vision of the potential consequences. Especially after Kouhei continued to look into her eyes with innocent hope that was growing fiercer by the second.
"What? I can be whole? Normal? Can you do that?" His crimson eyes reflected with an animalistic iridescence in the dark and from the shape staring back at her, she knew he was hopeful.
"Normal for you. And yes, I think so." She smiled and he relaxed just slightly. "Could you trust me to try?"
"I do not know you, human. I met you only yesterday." He considered. "But you seem… different than the humans I have known. You seem ignorantly trusting of us."
"Strange, ne?" Kagome smiled. "But I am a friend. I know miko have a place in the general order of things but I feel it's my duty to help everyone. We all need some healing sometimes, regardless of our birthright." She met his eyes and continued. "I think I can break the seal on your power. It might be painful at first, reuniting with your youki. I do know that your youki exists but I can barely sense it. That it's there, within you, but doesn't fill your being. It feels strong on its own but it's stuck, caged, hidden away from you."
"What happens if you are wrong? Will I die?"
"I will not hurt you intentionally, but if I fail, I would guess you remain as you are. If I'm wrong, prodding your youki into action will only temporarily stir it and then you'll go back to the way you were. The way you are now. If I'm right, you may be changed completely."
Kouhei considered for a moment, looked at her honestly, and dropped the façade of the high-born heir he was trying so hard to be.
"All my life, I have been weak. My father lamented it and my mother was not alive to see it. I have even sometimes I wished I was dead. I cannot rule, cannot train, cannot go outside the sight of my keepers. A useless heir." He looked at his thin, pale hands. "I am not what a dragon should be and they do not let me forget it."
"I'm not what a miko should be either. I'm different and I have a different way of doing things. You can do the same."
He considered her, this strange woman, then continued. "They are all waiting for me, all but my uncle, to make a mistake so my younger brother can take my place. I am living as a prisoner. What harm could it do, one miko's interference?"
"That's terrible, Kouhei-sama. I want to help, if you want me to. It doesn't have to be right now. If you would like to think about it, I'll be in Edo for the next-"
"Two years? I remember. I am sorry. There is nothing I can do if you were going to ask it of me, regardless of your help."
"I know. I'm not offering for a favor in return. But I would help you if you ever wanted me to. Just know that."
"Miko- No. Kagome. Please try. Right now. I have been without hope for so long. If I could live, even for only a few hours, as something other than this, I would very much like to."
His sincerity was almost desperation as he stepped one step closed to her and hope shined in his eyes. Kagome felt the weight of what she had promised and begged whatever kami were listening to guide her in helping him.
"Okay. We're going to have to do this here because I honestly don't know my way around, it's dark and I can't see. Is that okay?"
"My uncle is nearby and he may misunderstand." Kouhei warned her honestly. "But I will explain if the need arises."
"Okay. I'll deal with that later. First, I'm going to put up a barrier so we don't accidentally hurt anyone else and we can't be interrupted without effort."
She reached one hand up, wide open, and an ice blue ring crept outward from her hand, growing wider to encompass them both, and sinking down until it reached the floor.
"May I?" he asked, reaching for the barrier.
"Yes. This is only a barrier, not intended to harm."
Kouhei reached a tentative hand out and let one short-clawed finger brush against its surface. The reiki reacted, sparking against his touch but did not burn.
"I did not know holy energy was capable of such."
"Next," she continued mechanically, "I need to lay my hands on you. I realize this is uncomfortable but to do this as efficiently as possible, I need to feel your energy directly. Is that okay?"
"Under normal circumstances, no. But for this, I will allow it." he nodded, still unsure. His hands circled her wrists as she reached up and he met her eyes. "If I feel at risk, if you betray me, I can still end your life, youki or no. I am capable of that much."
"I understand." she said simply and she did. She understood what he didn't say, too. 'Understand your need to protect yourself. Understand your need to threaten me. Understand your fear.'
Kagome stepped forward and laid her hands on the pale blue silk of the kimono over his chest.
"Ready?" she asked, looking up into his nearly-glowing, bright vermilion eyes.
"I am ready." he whispered.
Her power flared within the barrier and demure, human hands lit with reiki over his chest and she closed her eyes. He gasped at the feeling of her energy invading his body but there was no pain, only a sensation akin to the pins and needles of life returning to a waking limb. It filled him, pouring through his chest, electrifying his arms, trailing down his legs, crawling up his neck, and he gasped and gritted his teeth when she found the core of his power, locked away near his heart. There were tight bands of glaring red surrounding his encased youki and her reiki was rebuffed as it neared.
"Is that it?" he growled, feeling something pull sharply in his chest.
"Yes, I've found it. It's bound right there. I'm going to try to break it free. Take a deep breath."
"Wait!" he gasped.
"Take as long as you need." she said slowly. "I truly am not sure what this will do to you. It's your energy but it may overwhelm you at first. Are you ready?"
Sweat was beading on his brow, fear was growing in his heart, but he met her eyes and found only sincerity and concern. He felt himself nod and then at the same time felt far away, mentally preparing himself for pain or death or both.
"As I ever will be…" he ground out.
Kagome didn't wait and pierced the searing red seals with her power, unsealing the condensed energy within. The resulting explosion of youki shattered the barrier, throwing her backward toward the guest rooms. She protected her face with her forearms and tucked in her knees, waiting for the rough collision with the floor or wall she was sure was coming. Instead she felt her back collide with something firm but pliant, and strong arms wrapped around her stomach, caging her against something warm and… growling?
Through the crackling explosion of power, Kagome could hear Kouhei screaming loudly, still hidden in the bright cerulean glow of his released youki.
"Meddlesome fool! What have you done?!" Sesshoumaru yelled behind her.
"Sesshoumaru?" Her blue eyes tried to focus in the blinding light but could not.
"What have you done? Did you attack him?" he barked.
"No, I'm trying to help him! …I just hope it works."
The energy roaring through the hallways was quieting, pulsing now and then like the rhythm of a strong heartbeat. Kouhei was silent and she could just now make out his outline standing hunched over in the hallway.
"Helped him?" His golden eyes searched the hallway for any evidence of what she claimed but he could not see past the agitated, dark blue aura still pulsing wildly around the dragon heir. Sesshoumaru scowled down at her. "If he is injured or worse, I cannot protect you from what happens next."
"He'll be fine." She smiled, sensing his youki settling into his being like a missing puzzle piece. "Exhausted, probably, but fine."
"What has happened to Kouhei?!" came the bellow from the hall, rocketing past the couple on the floor and over to his nephew. "Answer me, dog!"
"He's fine! Wait and see!" Kagome called after him.
"You speak nonsense! You have killed him, priestess, and the East will have vengeance!" Ryouzou bellowed.
"Uncle, stop!" Kouhei panted, his arm outstretched, shaking, to grasp his uncle's shoulder. The energy illuminating the hallway disappeared, leaving a still and quiet darkness. Ryouzou was immediately assessing him for injury.
"What happened, Kouhei? What is going on?" the steward demanded. "You are changed! If she has cursed you-"
"Kouhei-sama, are you okay?" Kagome yelled.
"Yes… yes, Kagome. I am… whole." He laughed freely. "Uncle, I can see you! I can hear the wind across the mountain! I can smell, gods, everything! I am free!"
"Oh, thank the kami." the miko sighed and slumped against Sesshoumaru, unconcerned she was laying her head heavily on his chest.
The inu tipped his head down and breathed into her ear.
"We are going to discuss this at length in a moment."
"I eh- expected nothing less." she stuttered, suddenly aware of their proximity now that the excitement was over.
Sesshoumaru stood and offered her his hand. She took it easily and brushed herself off before another presence collided roughly with her whole body and knocked the miko back to the floor.
"Ah!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Kouhei beamed down at her, caging her on the floor between thin arms that were now the color of normal flesh and not the pale and sickly ashen tone of a few minutes ago. "I did not mean to go so fast! I can go so fast! I can even see you… crying? Why are you crying, Kagome? This is all thanks to you. Are you not happy?"
"Kouhei, climb off of the human at once!" Ryouzou barked.
"Indeed." Sesshoumaru rumbled above the pair of both dragon and miko piled indecently on the floor.
"I'm so happy for you, Kouhei!" she beamed back at him as he scooted back and away from her, sitting like a child, cross-legged on the floor and glowing with happiness and relief. She could not see him well in the faint moonlight but recognized that his skin and hair had both darkened to some extent.
"I will never be able to express my gratitude but I will try to find a way, if you'll allow it, my Lord Sesshoumaru." He offered, rising from the floor to look him in the eye. "I am sorry to have toppled her but she is to be congratulated for saving the heir to the East from a miserable existence. Please do not be angry with her for it was I who asked for this."
"Without any provocation from the priestess?" Sesshoumaru questioned, using all of his senses to take in the multitude of changes in the formerly puny Eastern heir.
"Well, not entirely 'without provocation' but he did ask me." she quietly answered.
For the second time in two minutes, Sesshoumaru offered her a hand up and she gratefully accepted.
"Kouhei, you have much explaining to do but, in this moment," Ryouzou smiled gently and reached a hand out to touch his nephew's face, "you look so much like Aoi that I cannot be angry."
"My mother? Why?"
"Unknown to us all, you inherited her coloring almost exactly. I am glad to see she lives in you."
"Uncle…"
"Go, Ryouzou. Celebrate your nephew's return to health. I hope to see you tomorrow before you depart for the East." Sesshoumaru called from the end of the hall.
The dragon steward made his way over to the pair but surprised them all when the proud dragon steward bent into a low bow and took Kagome's hand in his own, quickly pressing his lips to it before he rose.
"I thank you, miko-sama, for saving Kouhei from his affliction. We were not aware such a cure existed. If ever you have need of help from the East, call upon us and we will answer you. You and your future Mate have our gratitude, Sesshoumaru. It would seem a human may be fit to walk beside you."
Kagome waited silently until they left before glancing nervously up at him.
"See? That went as well as it possibly could have. No harm done. Everyone is happy."
"You are fortunate that it was so."
"And how did you know I was here?"
"It would seem that despite your own lack of concern for your well-being, your kit sees the benefit of caution and disobeyed you to warn me of your foolish and ill-conceived plan."
"Shippou came to get you?"
He started down the hall and she stepped quickly to catch up before he answered her.
"Is that not what I said?"
"In a circular way, yes, but I told him to go wait in our rooms. Shippou!" she yelled, knowing he'd hear her wherever he was. Sesshoumaru grimaced at her deafening outburst and continued.
"He is waiting in Rin's rooms for us to return."
"You mean he's hiding. Hiding from me. Little sneak."
"You mispronounced 'kitsune.'"
"Are you… making a joke?"
"Correcting your error."
"I hate to tell you but that was dangerously close to a joke, Sesshoumaru."
"Come. We are late once again because of you and your need to meddle."
"Help. I have a need to help people. There's a difference."
"To you perhaps. Now explain exactly what you have done for Kouhei to This Sesshoumaru."
Kagome laughed heartily and told him everything as they went to claim the children and meet the Palace messenger for dinner.
…
In Rin's room, Kagome's hair was combed into silky, obedient waves and left long. She was given a pale blue juban and golden silk kimono patterned with pink chrysanthemums to wear to dinner. Since this one was two layers shy of the last formal outfit, she let Tomomi show her how it was done in slow motion, keen to learn if this was going to be the way of things.
"I hate being dressed like a doll. Wait, back up, how did you wrap that again?"
"Once more, Kagome-sama, and then you must join milord. He is most agitated." Tomomi warned.
"His highness can wait another minute so I can take this thing off by myself later."
"My Lady! We have guests and it will not do to insult my Lord so loudly."
"Sorry. It's not an insult really… but you have to admit he has a high opinion of himself."
"It is justified- So to finish this you must- Are you paying attention, milady?"
But she wasn't. She was staring. And grinning ridiculously.
"Oh, Rin! You look so lovely."
And she did. Her hair was glossy and straight, laying perfectly flat over the shoulders of the pale pink kimono she wore. Hydrangeas in white and blue graced the left shoulder and trailed down to the hem. She stood confidently in her rooms, fan in hand, ready to accompany them to dinner. A Lady in the making. Rin was growing up.
"Thank you, Kagome-sama. This one is my favorite. They remind me of the spring flowers back home in Edo." She smiled down happily at the flowers.
"Ta da!" Shippou jumped over the screen and landed in between the two women with his arms spread wide.
He was dressed for dinner as well in a blue kosode, checkered with white near the hem, and impossibly small, black hakama.
"You look so grown up, too! Where did you find those dashing clothes? I have trouble making anything that fits you so well. Who do we thank for those?"
"Tomomi made 'em! Aren't they great? There's a bunch more, too. I can wear most of it to school!"
"And you are to take them home with you, Kagome-sama. My Lord bid me make many things for you and your son both last night. Your pieces are not all completed but will be before you leave tomorrow."
"Did he?" Kagome asked, amazed. "I'm surprised. That was very considerate of him. I'll thank him then. I suppose I don't have much to wear that suits whatever I'll be doing here. Don't hurry too much on my account. Whatever he's requested for me will probably stay here since I don't have much use for anything fancy when I'm stitching farmers, planting rice, and delivering babies." Kagome laughed.
"You have no one to do those things for you, my Lady?" the deer youkai asked, shocked.
"I had help with the heavy lifting but now that Inuyasha is gone, I'll be managing alone. It's fine. I need the exercise." She changed the subject at Tomomi's sad look. "Are we all ready then?"
"At last?" Sesshoumaru asked from the doorway.
"Oh, don't say it that way. What happened with Kouhei was a good reason to be late. And thank you for this." She held up the generous and beautiful sleeves of the kimono. "For all of it. That was very kind."
He scowled slightly and looked uncomfortable at the unnecessary praise but continued.
"Such is expected from an intended Mate. You arrived unprepared and I have corrected the oversight. You are welcome, however. Aiding the East is always wise, miko, for future reference. They are allies and our closest reinforcements." His eyes shifted to his ward and softened just slightly. "Rin, come."
"Hai!" the young woman beamed, following behind her Lord down the hallway to the stairs.
Shippou scampered past them all and waited at the top of the stairs, tapping his foot impatiently and looking ready to run. Sesshoumaru met him first with a warning look and the kit grinned nervously. Rin stopped and turned around to wait for Kagome who had been watching the exchange as they left Rin's room. She was frozen several steps back with the first of a few gathered tears trickling down her face. Sesshoumaru held up a hand for the children to stay put and walked over to her.
"More tears, miko?"
"I had forgotten…" she sniffled, wiping her eyes with the handkerchief hidden in her obi. She silently thanked Tomomi for insisting she bring it.
"Forgotten what?"
'What it felt like to be part of a family. To be waited for. The chaos of organizing everyone to get somewhere. Looking forward to something.' she thought, lamenting the missing person in their number.
Inuyasha would have grumbled and fought all the way through getting dressed. He and Shippou would have argued about something trivial and she would have to referee. In the end, they would get wherever they were going and be a happy family when they got there. Like this. Like right now. But he would never get to join them and the grief rolled down her face as she struggled to tell him how much this had been the life Inuyasha always wanted.
But it came out as…
"Nothing. Sorry. Let's go."
"Come."
Kagome was as surprised as the children when he moved to stand beside her and held out his arm. She stood still wondering what to do when he continued.
"Are you unfamiliar with the gesture or unwilling?"
"I'm… processing. This is new." She blinked still-watery cerulean eyes up at him.
"Agreed," he nodded but paused, considering before he continued, "but change is not always unwelcome."
"Thank you for that." She gave him a gentle smile.
"Hm."
He turned his silver head to look back down the hallway and waited. Her nervousness was palpable and the scent of yuzu surrounding her was no surprise. In a few seconds, he felt the warmth of her arm slip through his, slowly resting her small hand on his indigo silk clad forearm. He took the first step forward. She caught up and began matching his steps, staring at her own hand laying innocently on his arm and wondering what kami in the heavens was having a laugh at this turn of events.
"Shippou-chan, look!" Rin whispered, pointing at the couple coming down the hall with their arms interlocked. "Do they not look nice together?"
She was happy to see them making progress. Shippou didn't answer her but scowled and jumped down the stairs, not sure how to feel about things.
…
As they walked farther and farther away from the family rooms and then past the guest quarters as well, Kagome wondered aloud why the Palace messenger lived on the opposite side of the mountain than the actual Palace. Sesshoumaru only told her to hold her questions and they would be there soon. Shippou and Rin walked in silence behind them despite Rin's many attempts to start a conversation with the pensive fox.
Sesshoumaru seemed at ease as they crossed the training grounds. Kagome felt his youki as fluid and relaxed. With her senses restored, she was able to keep her own aura open and free as well. It was a welcome feeling to be connected to the world once again. Until she sensed Shippou behind them and grew concerned. Her kit was agitated and thoughtful… and silent. Something he definitely was not.
The texture of the ground changed and her grip on Sesshoumaru's arm tightened involuntarily for a moment when the hard sole of her sandals skidded dangerously to the side before she could correct it. They were skirting the fields of gravel where she and Shippou had trained that afternoon. Looking up, the miko noted that the clouds were still spotty but the sky was clearing even here, so high up on the mountain.
'We'll be leaving tomorrow, then.' she considered, glad to have a plan to return to the familiar.
They took a hard left turn under an overhang. Though it lacked the tiled roofing and careful craftmanship of the comfortable Palace in favor of stark lines and bold cuts, the Fortress was magnificent in its own right. Much more open, wider and flatter stairs and halls to allow for the movement of a greater number of people from place to place. The left turn they took lead them all to a staircase carved from the darker gray of the mountain bedrock.
"He lives up here?" she asked, taking the first steps with him. "Oh, it's dark. Shippou, grab Rin's hand so she doesn't fall."
Kagome heard a non-committal grunt behind her and Rin whisper 'Thanks.' but the miko wondered why Shippou was so oddly silent.
"Hm. The General resides here at the Fortress on the top floor, as is expected, and the other officers share the first and second floors as needed."
"Kouji-san is an officer?"
"He is. A Colonel himself over a small division of troops with specialized skills. You will be taught some of the details when you return."
She nodded, letting his careful use of 'some' slide for now, as they continued to climb.
"So Ren-taii lives here, too?"
"He does. His brother lives in the adjoining room, before you ask." he added, noting her questioning look. "Theirs is a special situation so allowances were made."
'And you wouldn't listen when I told you how special, either.' she thought wryly as they continued to climb.
"Wait, didn't we just pass the second floor?"
"We did but the General and his Mate live on the top floor."
"I thought we were having dinner with Kouji-san?"
"We are."
"I'm confused. And I really can't see once again. I'm going to bring a lantern back with me, something to walk these halls with, or I'm gonna kill myself someday."
"Perhaps our Mating will not last even as long as I assumed then." His voice gave nothing away but before she could pick her jaw up from the floor at his callous attempt at humor, he spoke again. "We are here."
"You- Did you just- We need to work on your sense of humor."
Sesshoumaru ignored her and knocked on the pale shoji doors to the left that were framed in walls of dark rock. A second later, General Ryota opened the door with a familiar smile, looking relaxed and at ease in only a navy yukata.
"Good evening and welcome, my Lord!" He bowed. "And Lady Kagome. Hello, children! A pleasure to see you all once again. Come in, come in."
Ryota stepped out of the way and allowed them all to file in. Kagome stood aside and waited for the children to make their way in before walking around to the table to sit next to Shippou. Sesshoumaru was already sitting near the head of the table with a cushion open to his right. His eyes were on her though he did not speak, waiting to see what she would do.
"Kagome-sama, you do not want to sit next to milord?" Rin asked innocently from the other side of the table.
"What? Oh, no. I- Am I supposed to?" Kagome looked down at Sesshoumaru to gauge his reaction.
"It is not necessary tonight. When you return, however, it will be expected." he said evenly.
"Oh."
Sitting next to him at dinner hadn't crossed her mind but then, until this moment, the true reality of the arrangement hadn't either. 'What was expected' seemed like a far away and future idea but right now, she realized for the first time that it wasn't. Anxiety and grief clawed their way through the happy daydream she had created for the evening and her panic grew.
Dinners? Meetings? Holidays? Did youkai have holidays? Her brain accelerated through the years. Watching him raise his heirs next to her while she and Rin grew older? She might not be truly married to him but Kagome knew that would be painful.
'Multiple partners are common for youkai. No one would begrudge you a consort.'
Would he take multiple wives? Mates? Would she be required to accept them, too?
"-ko?" She heard a fractured call from someone far away.
This home they had walked into was the result of an effortless combination of two lives. The thoughts of sharing rooms with him had seemed innocent enough yesterday. Living together would be a challenge, she assumed, but she had felt safe. Surely, he wouldn't press her for a physical relationship beyond what was required for the ceremony. His honor would prevent it. Her thoughts began to spiral out of her control, fueled by a sudden sense of disorientation.
Her face was flush with the realization that this was going to be a lifetime of questions and wondering. And that she would have very little say in his life while hers was controlled at every turn. The shock and indignation of it overwhelmed her mind and suddenly the room wavered dizzyingly.
"Miko?" the voice was closer now.
The loving and equal partnership she had shared with Inuyasha was a thing of the past. Sesshoumaru would not be a husband. He was a Lord. And he would lord over her just as he did everyone else. The feeling of helplessness grew and her eyes clouded with tears, breath coming in deep pants.
'What have I done?'
Her distress was suffusing the room and the youkai around her all wondered what had happened to cause such an intense reaction. Kagome had only stepped inside three or four feet and then locked up, losing the internal battle to breathe. Only Rin stood and went to her, gently grasping her free hand and peering up at her.
"Kagome-sama? Are you all right?"
Deep, mahogany eyes stared up into hers, concern etched into the delicate features of a round-faced child that was thinning into that of a young woman. A young woman who, by no fault of her own, was threatened with immediate and senseless death. Kagome swallowed and reached out a trembling hand to cup Rin's soft cheek. How could she have forgotten?
"…Yes. Yes, I'll be okay." She noted Sesshoumaru standing just behind Rin so she explained. "I'm just-" Kagome cleared the thickness from her throat before continuing.
"Processing?" he supplied.
The priestess nodded silently and tried to calm and straighten herself. There was time to discuss the details but Kagome took in the worried faces of four others in the room and realized that unprocessed grief rears its head at the most inappropriate times.
"Sorry, everyone." She took a deep breath and bowed, desperate to change the situation. "And where is Kouji-san? I thought we were having dinner with him tonight?"
"Ah, you've not told her then, my Lord?" Ryota looked concerned.
"I thought it best you explained since the situation may be unfamiliar to her." His nostrils flared for a second before looking over at the closed doors leading to the other room. "And you have some explaining to do to This One as well."
"Situation?" Kagome blinked, wiping her eyes.
"Ah, that, milord. Kouji? Is he finished? Can you come out here?" Ryota called.
"Just now." Kouji called from the other room.
"Bring him. Sesshoumaru-sama should meet the next great General of his armies." Ryota beamed.
"We have discussed this at length, Mate, and agreed that he should choose his own path." Kouji sighed, stepping out from the other room with a rag in one hand.
And a baby over his shoulder.
A large, tawny hand supported the small babe from beneath and another was tenderly wrapped around the infant's back. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened just slightly and Ryota laughed, understanding that such a reaction might have been a yell of surprise from anyone else. Kagome was less reserved and practically jogged over to Kouji, who was smiling widely.
"Hello again, little dove. Glad to see you were able to come." the emerald-haired pheasant said amiably.
"Oh, my! Me, too! Who is this?" she beamed. "May I?" When Kouji nodded, she cooed her greetings and gently stroked the small infant's back.
"How?" Sesshoumaru asked Ryota, perplexed.
"Well, the Lord and Lady of the South made a visit to several of the larger settlements on their way here, just as you do, and found a small village that had been recently attacked by a band of monks. They consider it their duty to end the innocent lives of any youkai unfortunate enough to cross them, or so the soldiers reported. Among the dead were a Mated pair of cranes. The other two chicks had been killed but this one was left alone in another room and was spared."
He gestured to the dark-haired baby Kouji was turning around for Kagome's benefit. "When the Lord and Lady arrived, they brought the orphan with the intent to begin the morning's discussion on the growing human threat, if you will pardon me, Ladies. However, when Kouji greeted them and welcomed them to the Palace, the little one imprinted on him immediately and refused to be left alone. I don't know how much my Lord knows of bird youkai but once the bond is formed, it cannot be undone."
Ryota smiled and walked over the Kouji and the baby, wrapping an arm around them both. Kagome stepped back and Kouji continued.
"We had assumed we would have no heirs to pass our knowledge down to but it seems, once again, that fate chose a different path for us all."
Kagome watched the exchange and it suddenly dawned on her.
"You're together?"
"Yes, my Lady. Ryota and I are a Mated pair." the pheasant stated, waiting. The other humans they had encountered had been confused or disgusted, not that they mattered, and he found himself morbidly curious about how she would receive them.
"You're gay!" she exclaimed, putting the pieces together.
Kouji looked at Ryota, confused for a moment and then continued cautiously.
"I suppose we are both generally jovial males but it has never been levelled at us as an accusation before." he said, curious at her meaning.
Kagome laughed and shook her head.
"No, no, I mean you're lovers! You're married? When- Where I come from, that's one way we refer to men who love other men. Or males, I guess, sorry."
"Ah, that's odd but makes more sense, I suppose." Kouji hefted the baby higher. "But you are not upset? The humans we have known have been less than kind."
"I can understand that but where I come from, it's not so uncommon. I wouldn't say 'accepted' completely, there will always be people who are unkind, but it's not so unusual."
"And you are not one of those unkind people?" Ryota questioned.
"Kami, no. Love is wonderful in all of its forms. And I'm happy for you both. He's lovely. Does he have a name yet?"
"Haruto. It suits him, we think." Ryota answered, a gentle smile growing on his face as he looked at the baby.
When Kagome only fidgeted in place but continued to stare at the baby's wriggly back, Kouji offered to end her agony.
"Would you like to hold him?"
"I thought you'd never ask!" she laughed and walked over.
Sesshoumaru watched as she situated Haruto on her left shoulder, speaking gently to the baby the whole time.
"Congratulations are in order then. We should conduct a naming ceremony in the coming week." the inu rumbled.
"It has been a dreadfully long time since one occurred here at the Palace." Ryota lamented.
"Or much of anywhere really. My sister's clutch will be the first in nearly sixty years in the South." Kouji added, absently wiping his shoulder with the rag.
Kagome was oblivious to their conversation but cut back in with a healer's concern.
"He feels small. I don't know much about youkai babies but he seems thin even for a newborn. Is he at all similar to a human baby in terms of early development?"
"I do not know." Kouji said, frowning. "Why?"
"Have you hired a wet nurse yet?"
"A what, my Lady?" Ryota asked.
"A wet nurse? To feed him? He's so small, he must still be nursing."
"We are feeding him a concoction my mother suggested but we accept that he may not survive without his own mother. It would be tragic but that is the way of things." Kouji sighed.
"That's terrible! He should be just fine with a nurse and your care. Why would you expect him to die even with a mother's milk?" Her eyes flicked from parent to parent, trying to understand.
"Miko, you do not understand." Sesshoumaru explained. "An orphan is rarely, if ever, taken in by another youkai. And even more rarely by a mother with pups young enough to still suckle. It is accepted that orphans frequently die of withering without their mother's care. It cannot be helped."
Kagome forgot herself in her outrage.
"The hell it can't! You just told me you were upset that more of you were not having babies, so why would you not try anything and everything to save every life you can?"
"Some norms are not to be tested, woman." Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes in warning. "The strong survive and the weak perish. We might end up as fragile and frail as hu- as mortals if we allowed every orphan the same resources as those with stronger and more capable parents."
"If you want to survive," she narrowed her own right back, "you need to stop thinking like that. This baby is worth saving. He survived when his parents and siblings didn't. He has a chance at a safe and loving family and you're telling me that you'd let him die because you won't take my advice and try something different?"
Kouji stepped in-between the incensed priestess and the inudaiyoukai and held his arms out for Haruto.
"I will take your advice, little dove. I would not see him die. Tell us what we must do."
"Kouji!" Ryota warned.
"No, Mate. She is right." The pheasant settled the boy in his arms and watched him open and close glossy coal-black eyes with affection. "He has a chance to live and if my Lady can keep him with us, I admit there is already little I would not do."
They all looked at Sesshoumaru, who was scowling but silent. Another moment ticked by and his eyes drifted to the babe in the messenger's arms, to the angry and determined cerulean gaze of his future Mate, and to the General waiting for his word. It was pressure he did not need. It was a judgement he loathed to pass. Tradition dictated as he had said, but there was logic in her pleas to save even the unfit. Perhaps, as he himself had admitted only minutes before, change was not always unwelcome.
"Do as you will."
Kagome was unaware, celebrating her joy at giving little Haruto a fighting chance, but this moment planted the first seed of change in Sesshoumaru. Her fragile but persistent influence rooted deep within him and waited.
…
"And I finally just had to be honest with him: that I knew he was like you. No hot-blooded young man interested in girls waits years to be with the one entirely average girl that's always absent or too busy to see him. He picked me as a safe screen to hide behind until he was ready to face the truth. Hojo came out later that year as gay and is much happier with himself now. If he had come at me with one more herbal remedy or gimmicky item, I might have slugged him instead."
Kouji considered her story for a moment, with a smile, and then commented.
"Interesting. You use phrases I am unfamiliar with, once again, but I understand your meaning. How odd the poor boy chose you over the truth. And you pretended to be ill so often to escape and complete your given task?"
"Yeah. It was hard for a few years but I had a quest to complete."
It was Ryota who nodded this time.
"We know that story, at least. And all without formal training. How did you survive?"
"Luck."
"And much help." Sesshoumaru cut in.
She laughed. "Yes, that too, thank you."
The inudaiyoukai nodded and dinner went on with laughs and stories, spills and apologies, crying and soothing, until at last the meal was over. Shippou began to yawn when they put Haruto to bed, and Sesshoumaru bid the couple goodnight and rose to leave.
"Thank you again, Kagome-sama. We have real hope now that Haruto might live." Kouji bowed at the door.
"No, I'm just happy you're willing to try. Let me know if you need anything else before I leave tomorrow. I'm happy to help."
"Happy enough to…" Shippou grumbled something else under his breath but she couldn't catch it as he shuffled past them all and started down the hallway without making eye contact.
Kagome watched his small back retreat down the hall and felt her heart grow heavy. She leaned around to catch Rin's eyes and when the young woman only shrugged, the miko's concern grew. Shippou had been silent through dinner. No jokes or pranks, no wisecracks or comedic, youthful slip-ups. Something was wrong.
"Rin, be good on the way home and we'll see you tomorrow before we leave. Sesshoumaru, Shippou and I are going back to the guest wing now. Good night, Ryota-taishou, Kouji-san. Thank you for a wonderful time."
He nodded his dismissal, silently sensed her distress, and she turned around and left them all as quickly as her kimono would allow.
"Shippou?" she called down the staircase. "Shippou, are you there?"
The first stumble of her sandals in the dark elicited a swear.
"I'm bringing lanterns back here. Like, a hundred of them." she grumbled, slipping the damnable things off and hooking them both around a finger.
In the meantime, reiki would work nicely enough for the short distance back to the guest wing. The miko carried a glowing sphere down the stairs and across the Fortress training grounds. Kagome called for Shippou the whole way back but never met him. When she slid open their doors and he wasn't anywhere in the comfortably lit rooms they shared, her concern grew. His gifted clothes were neatly piled on the low table and undisturbed. He hadn't come back here to change. Could he be in the bathing rooms?
Steps quickening, she began to feel the first ripples of panic begin to erode her calm. He was small and alone and there were too many youkai here who could make off with him in a moment. She willed herself to be rational and continued on, checking the baths and the hallway leading up to the family rooms of the Palace. No Shippou.
Panic clawed its way into her heart now no matter how much she tried to will it away. He was all she had left. Where on earth could he be? She tried backtracking to the Fortress again. Kagome met a few servants and some others she didn't know on the way but none of them had seen a kitsune tonight. Memories of the attack from a few days ago surfaced and the fear that he might come to harm seemed a real possibility. Shadows of the mountain began to weave themselves into menacing shapes, promising death, as she raced back to the Fortress.
Beyond the light she cast, the bright chatter of a young girl broke the inky silence of the training grounds.
"Straight here, milord?"
"Hm."
"What is that light ahead?"
"The miko, Rin."
"Kagome-sama?"
Kagome heard the gravelly steps pick up speed and then Rin was there, catching her panicking alone in the darkness.
"Sesshoumaru-sama, something is wrong!" Rin yelled back to him.
The daiyoukai did not hurry but altered his course to meet her. He could scent her distress immediately. The panic surrounded the miko with the acidic tang of vinegar. She was truly scared. Without waiting for her to explain what was most likely an inconsequential misunderstanding, he hurried the conversation forward.
"Explain."
She watched as he ghosted into the ring of light her orb of reiki had cast. He squinted slightly, vertical and inhuman pupils contracting to almost disappear in the unexpected light, as he neared but did not stop until he was an arm's length away.
"I can't find Shippou anywhere! I've checked the guest wing, the hallways, he's not out here," she swept an arm out, "he's not in the baths. Kami, what if something's gotten to him like the assassin in the infirmary? What if someone mistook him for a thief and locked him up? What if he got seriously lost or fell? He's just… gone!"
Rin was stroking Kagome's arm lightly, waiting for the word from Sesshoumaru that everything was okay. He lifted his chin, tested the air, and then cast golden eyes to the peak of the mountain. The boy was far above, his scent drifting down with the falling scree as he tried to climb higher. Satisfied he was not in danger, Sesshoumaru relayed the situation to the frantic priestess.
"He is not gone. He is well. Return to your rooms. Rin, accompany her there. Do not leave and I will bring the kit to you. Do you understand?"
"No! Do you know where he is?! I am really worried about him."
"Miko, the kit is fine. He is on the peak high above. I will retrieve the boy and bring him to you."
"Why didn't you just say that then?" she said, aggravated.
Unwilling to answer and further delay the end of the night, Sesshoumaru merely leapt into the air and left the two women standing there.
"Come with me, Kagome-sama. My Lord will do as he says and bring Shippou back to you."
Kagome nodded silently but kept her gaze on the inky peak of the mountain far above until Rin pulled her arm and she was forced to look away.
'Shippou, what are you doing?'
…
Sesshoumaru lighted on the peak and waited. The kit was on the far side, making his way slowly up on his own.
'This is sure to be ridiculous.'
Several minutes later, tiny claws dug their way into the last steep handhold and Shippou pulled himself up, panting and growling. He smelled the elder inu immediately and forced himself to stand taller.
"Go away!" he barked, tiny fists balled up at his sides.
Sesshoumaru growled lowly before reprimanding him. Along with the anger that was obvious in his tone, the inu immediately recognized the scent of salt that accompanied tears.
"Careful, kitsune. Grief is no excuse for disrespect."
"Leave me alone! I came up here to get away from you!"
"Why?"
"Why?! You're everywhere! I can't even run away from you! Rin might like your company but I don't. I wanna be alone."
"Very well. I shall tell the miko you wish to be alone. I am sure her panic will marginally subside."
"Panic? I- I didn't mean to make her upset." He stilled and considered before reigniting the frustration that had led him to run away. "I didn't even think she'd notice I was gone."
"Why?"
Shippou growled. "You don't care! I'll go back later, okay?!"
"You think yourself so inconsequential to her?"
"No." he groaned. "No, I knew she'd be upset."
"And you disappeared in spite of her?"
"No. Yes. Argh! She's just so- Just- Damn it!"
"You are hiding."
Shippou exploded.
"She's acting like she always does! Laughing and eating, holding the baby and giving advice. She's already moved on and forgotten him!"
"And this makes you angry?"
"I can't stop being angry! This isn't how it was supposed to be! We-" Shippou hiccupped and sniffled, "We were all supposed to be together back at home, getting ready for winter. They were gonna come visit me at school one more time before it snowed. I had this great trick all ready for Inuyasha." The sniffling grew louder and faster. "He- He liked to nuh- nap on the roof while I was working but he hated getting wet, even to take a bath. He'd always check for rain before fuh- falling asleep. I asked my teacher, Chinatsu-sensei, to teach me how to create the illusion of rain just to- just to mess with him. I puh- practiced and practiced and it was finally good enough to show him and now-" A sob broke loose. "And now he'll never see it! And all she cares about is saving that baby and the clothes she has to wear to dinner and what her life's gonna be like when she has to come back here! This is all your fault!"
"It is This One's fault in part, true."
Shippou stilled and looked up at him for the first time. Their eyes met and Shippou could see the anger he had prodded out of Sesshoumaru. Beyond the anger, there was understanding. Another tear fell over his cheek but Shippou didn't move and just waited.
"If I was more able to accept Rin's death, the priestess would not have to return and become This Sesshoumaru's Mate. Would you have Rin die to prevent it?"
"No! I don't want Rin to die but-"
"And you enjoy your companionship with my ward?"
"I guess but I haven't had a choice! Kagome's been gone with you every day since we've been here." He tried feebly to bolster his anger, not ready to give up yet.
"You do not enjoy Rin's company then, in light of your sorrow?"
"Well, no, I like her and we have a good time, I guess."
"And are you betraying the memory of Inuyasha by enjoying your time with her?"
Shippou was silent for a moment, thinking.
"No." And he knew he'd lost.
"Neither is your mother. Loss is a sorrow of a thousand wounds. It will not be short lived or immediate. You will both struggle at different times." Sesshoumaru kneeled down in front of the wet-faced kitsune. "Pack means supporting her through those times, as she does for you, and allowing her respite when and where she can find it."
To his credit, Shippou stared right back into the much wiser eyes of Sesshoumaru, searching for some ulterior motive in his advice but found none. Sighing his relief at understanding his mother better, Shippou nodded and wiped his face with a sleeve.
"Is she mad?"
Sesshoumaru stood again and looked down on the guest wing, noting the lit room as the lone light in the total darkness of the mountainside.
"She is grieving the potential of your loss as well as Inuyasha's at this moment. Learn from this and do not repeat the mistake."
"Learn what?"
"Control your emotions and consider them. Do not allow them to rule you. You cause only pain if you do not."
"Momma would say you should listen to them and let them guide you."
"Indeed? And did being 'guided' to the peak of the mountain solve your problem?"
"No, but you came to find me. And you- you helped. Thank you."
The inu stood before a kit less than one tenth his age and felt uncomfortable. This miko and her infectious emotions. The child was seriously implying that fate had led them both here to solve his problem. Surely not.
"Hm. Return to the miko and do not repeat this selfish behavior."
Sesshoumaru left the silent kitsune, stepped over the edge of the mountain, and disappeared into the darkness below. Shippou collected his thoughts and eventually made his own way back to Kagome, head and tail drooped in apology. As he took in her bloodshot and exhausted eyes, the tear-soaked handkerchief in her hand, and Rin's angry glare; Shippou felt beyond sorry. Anger had led him to hurt the one parent he had left. Sesshoumaru had been right.
...
Author's Note: Sorry it's late but I hope it's worth it. This chapter was supposed to be the last before she goes home but it's (surprise, surprise) run away with me and will have to be split into two. Next time, Kagome versus Ren in the dojo!