Chapter 15: Medicine Cat Apprentice

The walk back into camp was filled with tension. Icepaw was walking blearily in the shadows, her dirty pelt with clods of soil and grass sticking to it. Sadly, Hawk lowered her head, her heart feeling heavy as Poppyclaw lead the way back rigid with agitation. Blackdapple was always convinced of the worst, but Hawk couldn't blame her.

She wanted to, but if it was reversed the medicine cat in training could understand it that way. Perhaps it was kittypet-thinking that lead her to accept the aggression around her. She was learning as fast as she could, visions of faded cats, spirit-cats actually, still wandered around her. They would show her new plants to take back to the medicine cat who would advise her on them.

However, their voices plagued her in her dreams. Ever since her first official visit to the Moonstone they began to whisper among her dreams. She never could quite make it out or see them, but she could sense their presence. They were there, but they were trying to keep quiet for some reason. Worry pricked at her, were they thinking they sent her to BushClan too soon? Did they actually have the wrong cat?

Hawk stopped to shake out her fur, trying to rip herself free from her worries. Blackdapple hissed something to her, but she paid the ill-tempered warrior no mind. She soon bounded on to catch up and slide in after Icepaw who took her time, probably using the gorse and ferns to remove the dirt from her fur along the way in. Not that she could blame the white she-cat. It didn't look like the most comfortable way to disguise her fur.

"I wish we could have done something more for her." Hawk murmured to herself.

Blackdapple had overheard and scoffed, "Like a kittypet to wish."

Hawk looked to the smug she-cat, her tail twitching in contempt. "At least I accept that Icepaw's future will be traumatic for her." She snapped, taking the warrior by surprise. "Can't you care less on where I am from and more on your apprentice who just wants to be the best warrior?"

"How dare you-" Blackdapple began, but she was cut off from the tumbling emotions that had boiled since she had arrived.

"No, how dare you! Icepaw is what's important here, not me or where I am from. Get it through your thick skull." Hawk snarled, lashing her tail, "Focus on your apprentice. I don't care what you think of me. I only care about what is best for Icepaw and if you keep fighting every paw-step to help her, then I will keep matching you."

Blackdapple stared, her fur ruffled as she growled lowly, obviously humiliated to have been scolded in front of her clan-mates. Before she could even make a response Poppyclaw brought their raging emotions back down. Hawk hadn't realized her legs were trembling from the effort to not scratch the she-cats ears until now.

"Blackdapple, if you are done antagonizing my apprentice, then we have herbs to sort through." His mew was smooth with a hint of amusement.

The white she-cat swung her head back to Icepaw, who had curled in the gorse and ferns with her eyes closed. Hawk had followed her gaze, her heart twisted in sorrow. The young she-cat had her ears pointed back, her tail twice it's usual size. Clearly, she was upset by their arguing.

"Fine." Blackdapple mewed softly, going to her apprentice with a twitch of her tail.

Hawk lowered her head in shame. She hadn't meant to upset Icepaw, she had a lot on her mind from worries and feeling so alone in a clan that didn't want her outside of StarClan's wishes. She padded to Poppyclaw, her paws dragging in the meadow grass.

"Pick up your paws." Poppyclaw ordered, "We have to hurry to check on which ones need to be replaced."

Hawk nodded meekly, "Right." She wanted to apologize, she shouldn't have let her emotions get the best of her. Looking back longingly, she saw Blackdapple's back and her tail wildly flailing as she meowed to Icepaw who only shrank further into the gorse and ferns.

"Don't bother apologizing." Poppyclaw mewed softly, his tone gentle as she whipped her head back to him. "It's shameful for her to be scolded for putting feelings before her apprentice's well-being, but it also showed the clan that your loyalty cannot be wavered off the medicine cat path. You have learned quite fast, but I'm sure StarClan has been advising you in your dreams for some time."

"What do you mean?" Hawk mewed, still subdued from the conflict.

"Exactly what it means." the dark ginger medicine cat meowed, "When the forest is in a thaw, you will be prepared to be a full medicine cat. I can feel it now. You will serve BushClan well."

Hawk blinked, startled. "So soon?"

"Usually it takes many moons, but you learned all the known remedies that even StarClan knows. It is only a matter of applying the knowledge and overcoming panic to remain calm and level-headed."

"I can't, what if StarClan tells me to walk further away to somewhere else?"

Poppyclaw looked to the medicine den. "Then I have enough moons left to train a new apprentice while you fulfill your path to cats who may need you more than BushClan. Remember, your loyalty is to your clan, but it is to StarClan above all else."

Hawk breathed a soft sigh of relief, nodding. "Alright."

"Facing Blackdapple is your own assessment. You are submissive and calm, but you know exactly what to say even in the heat of the moment. In due time, you will be an excellent medicine cat who takes no fox-dung from any cat." Poppyclaw shot her a wry smirk, obviously pleased with how she had scolded an older cat.

She looked back seeing Blackdapple with her head dipped. Perhaps, she wasn't wrong to speak the way she had, but she had to make it up to the she-cat either way. She may be a medicine cat, but she still lost her temper. Without Poppyclaw it could have escalated further. Looking to her paws, she knew what must be done.

"I just told you to not bother apologizing." Poppyclaw mewed, almost amused as Hawk padded back to the white she-cats.

"Perhaps I did have valid points," Hawk replied aloud, catching Blackdapple's attention, "Maybe my heart is in the right place, but I still lost my temper with the patient's mentor."

"What are you meowing about?" Blackdapple mewed scathingly.

"Look, I meant what I said about having Icepaw as my patient and she means a lot to me in that way." Hawk told her, "But I'm sorry for loosing my temper. According to what Poppyclaw has taught me, I should put the patient before my emotions. Instead of panicking, I let my anger out. For that I apologize before you, BushClan, and StarClan. May I be forgiven, until then, may StarClan light your path always."

She had to hope she had said the right things. Maybe it was a kittypet thing to do, but she wouldn't feel right to leave the air mingled with anger. Even if Blackdapple didn't forgive her, she at least put it out there that she understood she was in the wrong as well. Searching the green eyes that stared, she felt satisfied. Hawk dipped her head, dismissing herself and trotting quickly to the medicine den.

Among the Twoleg Place, respect was earned through ferocity and manners. Clans were different, but she had faith in StarClan that she will be given respect after planting her paws firmly twice. Once to scold and another for knowing when to apologize. However, apologizing to Blackdapple was easy compared to the daunting task of begging Shadow for his eternal forgiveness when he looked so betrayed in their last meeting a moon ago.