"The deepest fear we have, 'the fear beneath all fears,' is the fear of not measuring up, the fear of judgment. It's this fear that creates the stress and depression of everyday life."
~Tullian Tchividjian
She tucked her hands between her knees to try to stop the trembling.
Nagi was not sure about the new environment she found herself in.
(Not Nagi. Chrome. Her name was Chrome now.)
Her savior, Mukuro, had told her that this place could be her home if she wanted it to be, but she found herself uncertain. It was very...active. Not at all like the cold home she was used to. Where silence reigned and smiles were scarce.
There was so much movement and life here.
It was a little overwhelming.
She flinched when she heard an explosion go off in the yard. Some yelling and laughter followed soon after. No one in the room itself seemed to mind it. Apparently, it was a common occurrence. But, it made her hands tremble more and her heart beat faster.
"Um, you're the girl that Mukuro brought home today, right? Would you, well, do you want some cookies?"
Na-Chrome sucked in a sharp breath and felt her shoulders hitch a little in her fright.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Wide brown eyes blinked apologetically at her.
"Um…" She couldn't remember his name. "I...um…"
(It was all too much. Too much noise. Too many people.)
The eyes warmed and he sat down next to her on the floor very slowly and carefully as if he was afraid of her running away.
(He didn't have to worry. Nagi...no Chrome doubted she could move if she wanted to. Her legs felt too weak and her hands shook too much. If she tried to move, she'd definitely fall.)
She expected him to start talking or asking questions. After all Mukro just sort of dropped her on the household with no notice and little explanation. She dreaded the questions. She wouldn't know how to respond and would end up stuttering and stumbling over her words. Like she always did.
(Her mother hated that about Nagi.)
She glanced around. Where was Mukuro?
The boy did not talk immediately; however. He simply watched the occupants of the rooms antics with a small fond smile. In fact, they stayed like that for so long Nag-Chrome almost forgot he was there.
(Her heart calmed to a more steady beat and her shoulders relaxed.)
That was when he spoke.
"You know, it's amazing how active this house has become." Chrome glanced over at him, startled.
She wondered if he expected a response, but he thankfully continued without one.
"It wasn't lonely. Not really. I had mom and I had Shuichi-nii. We were happy together." He tilted his head up towards the ceiling. "When Reborn came I thought I would be miserable. He kept putting me in scary situations and involving more and more people. I was scared at first. I was scared of the noise, the arguments, and fighting. But, I think deep down, I was also scared that it would end just as quickly as it started."
The boy looked down at the trey of cookies in his lap. He continued quieter than before.
"I was afraid that all these scary, amazing new people would talk to me, get to know me and realize I wasn't very special at all." A smile touched his lips, but it wasn't a good smile. It was a lot like some of Nagi's smiles. "I'm still a little afraid of that."
Chrome's hands fluttered anxiously. She opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times. She wanted to say something, but she wasn't sure what.
(What if she made the situation worse? She was good at that. Her mom told her that was the only thing she was good at.)
The boy glanced at her and then his eyes widened.
"Oh no! I came over here to try and cheer you up because you looked really nervous, but I ended up only talking about myself." He smiled sheepishly at her. "Sorry, I'm not very good with words."
"Me too!" She cringed back at how loud her outburst was.
(She shouldn't have said anything. That was dumb. She was dumb.)
"Yeah?" The boy was smiling more gently. "Do you stutter and mix up your words too? I do that a lot when I'm really nervous. It's like the words get stuck in my throat and come out all jumbled up when I try to talk."
Chrome nodded in awe. That was exactly how it felt.
The boy laughed. "I'm glad I'm not the only one. Everyone else talks so smoothly. My brother can talk people in circles. To be honest, I get a little jealous sometimes."
He nodded to the red-head talking quietly to a shorter red-eyed boy. She thought about Mukuro. His warm smile and soothing words. She wished she was like him.
She nodded. "I can understand."
The boy nodded back with a smile. Then he glanced down at the plate in his lap.
"Oh, uh, would you like a cookie?"
This time she nodded. However, she didn't start eating it immediately. She stared at the cookie for and moment, then glanced at the boy again. She took a breath.
"Um, I forgot. Well, um, what's your name?" She winced, but the boy didn't seem to mind her rush of words.
"Oh, yeah, I guess I didn't get a chance to fully introduce myself when you got here. Lambo and his explosions." He shook his head with a fond smile. "Um, anyway, I'm Tsunayoshi Sawada. But you can call me Tsuna."
Chrome smiled. "I'm Chrome Dokuro."
There was another explosion outside and they both flinched. Tsuna smiled apologetically before getting up to go take care of what sounded like another argument. Chrome smile back and turned her attention back to the treat in her hand.
(Her hands weren't trembling anymore.)
Still working on chapter 3 of the full fic, don't worry. I aim to get it posted either today or tomorrow. But, in the meantime, enjoy some Chrome! She needs for fandom love.