SEVEN

He insisted on coming in with me and helping me prepare dinner. After my accident this afternoon and with the fact that all of the nerves in my body were currently so sensitive, I figured that he was worried I would slice off a finger or worse. In record time, the salad was done, and after sliding the chicken into the oven, I decided to approach him with my question.

He seemed to sense my hesitation, though, because he pulled me into his arms and rested his cheek on the top of my head. He purred softly for me. "Whatever is the matter, cara mia? You seem troubled."

I plunged in headfirst, believing it best to just get it out of the way. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened at the hospital."

He went silent and rigid in my embrace. "You regret it." It sounded more like a statement than a question.

I tilted my head back to gaze into his still black eyes. "No, Carlisle. I would never regret what happened. I was just…" I glanced down momentarily before my gaze found his again and I sucked on my bottom lip "I just thought that you would."

He understood immediately and smiled at me reassuringly, drawing me back into his grasp and caressing my hair. He tenderly nuzzled my temple with his nose, and when the low rumble started again in his chest, I melted into him and sighed in contented bliss. "M'amore, I made a vow to you that I would attempt to be more accepting of, and responsive to, my instincts. While I made this promise only to please you, I must confess that I am quite pleased that I made such a vow. Even with the uncertainty of the instincts I am feeling, and will feel in the future, I am happier than I have ever been in all of my centuries upon this Earth."

"I'm glad," I whispered, basking in the emotions flowing between us and allowing my hands to travel over his shoulders and down his back. We stayed that way for a few moments when a twinge of curiosity hit me. "May I ask you something?"

He chortled. "Will it cause me to flip the dining room table over?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled at the memory of him finally losing control for what was probably the first time in his life. "No. It isn't that bad. However, I will warn you that it is emotional."

"Isabella," he sighed quietly, "no matter what inquiries you may have throughout our lives together, if there is something that you do not understand or that you wish to know, whatever it may be, then you are well within your right to ask me. You are my mate and deserve to know everything you wish. I will always tell you the truth."

I swallowed. "I don't want to offend you, but if you hated yourself so much, why did you change the others?"

He took a deep breath and held it momentarily before releasing it. He pulled back and took my hand to lead me to the couch. Since Charlie wouldn't be home for another half-hour, Carlisle obviously saw no problem in making me comfortable for whatever he had to say. "As Rosalie informed you, while I have loathed my whole being for my entire existence up until now, I have never felt as such toward them. You see, when I sired the four vampires that I did, they were all drawing near to their deaths. They were all young and innocent and good, and I felt it entirely unfair for their lives to be cut so short. I felt as though I were giving them a second chance at life."

"But you didn't feel the same about your own creation."

"No, bella mia, I did not." He drew me into his lap and cuddled me against his chest. "I had spent the entirety of my human life striving to do well, to be worthy of God's eternal grace, to be worthy of my father's love. That was always one of the primary things taught to children of those times – to honor one's father and mother. I was at all times determined to observe that rule, to the point where I stood quietly by and watch dozens of innocence die by my father's own hand.

I knew that if creatures such as I existed, they could not be so easily caught, so effortlessly subdued. I listened to so many men and women scream and beg for mercy that would never be shown to them upon this Earth. And I stood in silence, silence that aided in the loss of their lives. I may have not laid down the torches or took up axes of their deaths, but with my knowledge, I allowed them to die. I believed that was far worse in God's eyes than what those innocents were accused of." He buried his face in my hair but I did not speak, feeling that he was not done and wanting to give him time to gather his thoughts. He sighed before he spoke. "When I was attacked, I felt that this was my punishment, that I was so unworthy in God's eyes that I would not even receive my judgment before his throne. The time that I spent with the Volturi opened my eyes to many things, one of which was that my species was not damned, yet I still felt that I as an individual was."

I gently began stroking his back and a small smile curled my lips when he instinctively began purring.

"The first day Alice saw you and she let it be known that my mate was here, that you would be coming into my life, I felt hope for the first time in almost four hundred years. Then Edward made it clear to the family that you had feelings for him. To my horror, Jasper confirmed his words. It was then that I understood that there are far worse punishments than the eternal fires of hell, and on more than one occasion, I seriously contemplated having Emmett and Jasper end my miserable existence. Alice kept assuring me that our bond would be revealed one day, but I doubted her. The only things which kept me alive were the friendship and love from Rosalie and Esme... and those tiny waves of lust that I felt from you." The tiniest smirk graced his lips for a moment before he frowned again. "In my undead heart, I was quite convinced that it was only youthful fancy. I felt foolish at the time for doing so, but I could not stop myself from holding onto the briefest flicker of hope."

He pushed my hair from my face and gazed lovingly at me. "What I said to you last night, mi diletta, I believe. Were my soul damned to hell, then certainly I would not have you in my life." He suddenly grinned mischievously. "Quid pro quo, Isabella. There has been a question that has plagued my mind for a year."

I suddenly felt nervous. "What?"

He chuckled. "How is it that you were able to uncover the truth of what we are?"

"Seriously? That has plagued you for a year?" I shook my head. "Well, I noticed the small things, of course. You know, the cold and pale skin, the not appearing in sunlight. What really tied it all together for me though was Jacob Black telling me some story his tribe apparently passes down from generation to generation." I laughed for a moment but blinked in confusion when I found him staring at me, his eyes wide with utter shock.

"Jacob Black told you about us?"

"Well, he thought it was some silly story, but yes, he did. Why?"

"He broke the treaty," Carlisle whispered more to himself. When he looked up back up at me, there was hope and joy shining there. "Bella mia. M'amore, t'amo tanto. Bella, I have to leave." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, grinning wildly when he pulled away. "Cara, I swear to you that I will come back once Charlie is asleep. I must go hunt and take care of some very urgent business." He blurred away, and I called out for him. I jumped to my feet and rushed to the door, where he returned.

I reached out and ran my fingers through his gorgeous hair before pulling him in for a passionate kiss. I smiled against his lips as he growled and pushed me against the doorframe in a show of dominance. I moaned when he ground his growing erection into my abdomen.

He jerked away, panting even though I was certain he did not need breath. "Your father is going to be home soon. I doubt that he will be impressed to see the man he believes to be one of the town's married doctors in such a scandalous position with his daughter." He reclaimed my lips hungrily anyway before easing the kiss to a soft loving caress. "Isabella, m'adorata, my adored, I must go. I swear, cara mia... Mi diletta, I will explain more when I return." He kissed my forehead. "This business will make it much easier to be together." Again he kissed me, obviously excited. "I will explain it all tonight, Bella mia!"

Then he disappeared, leaving me lightheaded and more than amused at his behavior. Well, at least he was happy. That was all that mattered to me.

.

It took me a bit longer than normal to do my homework because I was so distracted by the uncomfortable feeling of being separated from Carlisle. However, I had been able to push through the thoughts of my mate and ignore the slight pang and finish what I needed to do. I had showered quickly, missing Carlisle's lovely Jacuzzi the entire time as I wanted a nice and relaxing soak. I dressed in a matching sleep set that consisted of a tiny black tank top with a rhinestone heart in the middle and black hipsters then settled under the covers. I had only been in bed for about twenty minutes when I felt a breeze from my window and then two strong arms wrap around me. I murmured in contented relief and rolled over to snuggle against Carlisle's side. I knew that I had a goofy grin on my face when he began stroking my hair. I was very glad that I had left it down because I absolutely loved the feel of his fingers sliding through the chocolate waves. With another appreciative noise, I looked up to find him watching me with an expression of utter triumph. "What? What's happened?"

"Well," he drawled slowly, "I should first inform you that everything will be quite all right. There will be no strife between the two factions." That sentence alone caused me to tense even though I was not one hundred percent sure of what he was talking about, but he bent his neck to nuzzle my ear and purred in reassurance. "Your… friend… inadvertently broke the treaty between his tribe and my family.

"You see, the legends of which he told you were obviously not so. There are members of the tribe that are shape-shifters, wolves that protect humans from our kind. However, in telling you the legends, Jacob Black broke the treaty. Those stories are not passed down to every member of their tribe. Instead, they are only passed down through certain bloodlines that have contained the gene that allows them to shift. Those stories are sacred and secret. Those children who are told the stories are forbidden to share them. Neither the wolves nor our family are supposed to alert humans to the existence of the other. In telling you what he believed to be silly folklore, he enabled you in discovering our existence."

I grimaced as I realized that my friend was probably in a lot of trouble. "What's going to happen to Jacob?" I started when a small snarl issued from Carlisle's throat and realized that he was jealous. I felt myself grow damp in response and stroked his chest as I gazed up at him. "Yours," I whispered thickly. "Only yours, Carlisle."

He sighed and closed his eyes tightly. "Perdonami, bella mia. Forgive me. I am letting my…" He trailed off knowing that I would be displeased at the idea of him fighting his nature. "I know the child is rather fond of you and I find it… disturbing. I am sorry."

"It's okay," I chortled. "I threatened to hit Jessica. I still might do it if she pisses me off again."

"Mi diletta," he continued with a growl, as if he were aroused by my aggression, "while my family is within our right to declare war on the wolves, we will not. We do not want any bloodshed. However, the pack's alpha, Sam Uley, is less than pleased. Any punishment your friend receives will come at the hands of his own people, not mine. In fact, I feel that I owe the child my sincerest thanks." He was smirking now. "If it were not for him then my family would not have this unique opportunity presented to us."

"Which is?"

He gazed down at me lovingly and lowered his lips to mine in a tender kiss. Pulling my head to his chest, I could feel the vibrations of his soft purr. "When we signed the treaty with the elders, we agreed not to bite any humans within the territory or else we were subject to being hunted and killed. We could bite a human beyond those borders and be exempt from death, but if they learned of us doing so, we would not be allowed to return. If we tried to do so, though, they could hunt us and kill us." He rested his cheek on the top of my head and tightened his grip on me slightly. "When you are changed, bella mia, we will unfortunately have to fake your death. Everyone you know would be aware that there was something astoundingly different. It would be glaringly obvious and would give us away entirely. And the wolves are intelligent. Knowing of your association with us, when news of your death got back to them they would know."

I sighed forlornly. "You know, I should have realized that my change would mean being separated from my family." I bit my lip as I pondered how much time I would have before my change. "When… when do you plan on changing me?"

The worry and sadness in his voice when he spoke next nearly broke my heart. It was rather painful to his hear him sadly whisper, "If you wished to stay human for your family, cara mia, I would never beg you to change for my sake. I do not wish you to live eternity with me if you would be forever broken over their loss. It would be cruel for me to ask that of you."

"Carlisle," I said, "I won't lie and say that the idea of losing my parents doesn't hurt. It's sad knowing that I won't get to see them after I'm changed, but from what I have already experienced, there is absolutely no way that I could give you up. I couldn't live a life without being yours for eternity. Just being separated from you for a few hours is horrible. I couldn't live my life with that kind of pain and I certainly could not let you live forever feeling that separation." I frowned when he whispered 'I wouldn't', understanding that he would take his life. "I couldn't let you do that, Carlisle. I cannot imagine a world without you in it, and I can't imagine my life ever feeling complete without being part of yours for eternity."

"Then if you wish to be with me for eternity—"

"I do."

I could hear the smile in his voice when he finished, "I would give you several years to enjoy your family and your life. I have never imagined changing you before you turn twenty-three or twenty-four, and if you wish to wait a few years more, I would gladly give you the time, mia passerotta."

"Well, Esme told me once that she's physically twenty-six and she doesn't look older than you," I commented. "Would you be willing to wait until I was twenty-five?"

"Of course, Isabella," he purred, combing my hair with his fingers in the most soothing way.

"So what happened with Sam?" I questioned. I was trying to get our conversation back on its original track which was difficult, considering that fantasies of unbuttoning that shirt slowly and licking my way down his marble body kept whirling through my mind. I very briefly wonder if he would taste like Mayfield's Snow Cream.

"Well, when I first told him of the child's error, he was both furious and worried. Despite his instinctive dislike of my species, he is well aware of just how different we are from others of our kind. I think, though he would never admit this I'm sure, Sam has a mild respect for my family and our choices," Carlisle spoke in hushed tones. "He was worried when I mentioned the break in the treaty, knowing that we could demand Jacob's death and declare war on his tribe. He was slightly stunned when I dismissed that notion entirely and rather curious when I inquired a favor of him. I quickly enlightened him to the knowledge that you are my mate and that the mating process had already begun. I wanted to ascertain from him that I could change you when the time comes without fear of being kept from our favored home in the future."

He stroked my back with one hand as his other continued to play with my hair. "Sam has his own mate and is well aware of what it means to stand to lose that mate. He seemed a bit distressed to find out that it is you and wishes to meet with both of us this weekend to hear for himself that this is a choice you wish to pursue. Since Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie returned this afternoon, I took Jasper with me. Between his and Alice's gifts, I was assured that he had already made his decision to allow this one opportunity."

"Well, at least that leaves us with one less problem," I sighed as I thought about the dark presence of Edward's reaction looming in the background. "What did they say about Edward when he woke? Has he contacted you at all?"

"No," he replied sadly. "Edward has not attempted to contact me. Jasper said that when Edward came to, he was rather depressed. Depression is simply anger turned inward." He stared across my room, his eyes focused on something that was not there as he thought about his first son. "I would wager that along with his anger at me for claiming you, he is beginning to realize his mistake and is angry at himself as well. He will feel that this is entirely his fault." He pulled my blanket more tightly around my body as he shifted us so that I was lying half on top of him. "While Edward did make the mistake of pursuing you, he is forever a teenager and you are his first love. One cannot condemn the heart, for the heart, to an extent, cannot choose with whom it falls in love. For that he is blameless." He stroked my cheek and turned my face toward his. "And I do not envy him at all for having fallen for such a glorious creature." He kissed the tip of my nose, and I thought I would melt. "Had I claimed you earlier, I am certain that this situation could have been avoided altogether. For that, I am to blame."

"Carlisle—"

"Cara mia," he cooed. "I assure you that I have no plans on sinking into a pit of self-pity. The way things have occurred could have been avoided. It is most unfortunate that my son is being hurt by my choices, but to allow myself to wallow in despair will change nothing and will only result in hurting the one that I love most, m'Isabella."

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," I murmured. "I know how much you care about Edward. I'm sorry that he's upset and I'm sorry that you're hurting for your son."

His lips caressed mine tenderly and he whispered, "It is true that I miss him, Isabella, but the joy that you bring into my life helps ease the pain and brings me more comfort than I could ever express to you."

.

TBC

In the words of Bob Ross:

Find freedom on this canvas.