Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters.

Warning: child abuse and bullying (mostly mentions of it), some dark themes, too much fluffiness sometimes. A real rollercoaster (or, at least, it's supposed to be).

Author's note:

(If you don't want to read a long explanation, just go ahead and skip to the story part.)

So, I finally posted a new chapter. The exam to enter university had finally passed and the results will come in three weeks from now, so pray for my success, people. It took me so long to post not only because I was studying, but also because my Word decided to break (seriously, don't even ask).

Anyway, some people have been confused with one thing and I want to make it clear: Kumi was a boy in his first lifetime.

Some of you will be all "Oh, but you're a girl, Amy, what?" And, really, here comes my point of view (you don't have to like or agree with me, but it's what I think:

In the Portuguese language we have a thing called "eu-lírico" - and if someone has the English translation for it, please, do tell me. Eu-lírico is, basically, a voice that express the feelings of the narrator - not necessarily the author, but the narrator.

How does that correlate with Kumi's previous gender?

Well, I think of Self-Insert as a category to put your story under. To me - and, again, you don't have to agree - self-insert doesn't necessarily mean putting yourself in the story, but putting your "eu-lírico" (that is, your "voice") in the story. The character/narrator doesn't have to be you, but someone you developed as a character with projected feelings.

So, yes, I'm a girl writing a self-insert in which the reborn boy has always been a boy. It's a challenge to me to be inside a boy's mind and I'm not even sure if I'm doing a good job, but I'm enjoying it more than I thought I would, so, well.

I've enjoyed the good comments and constructive critics so far and they encourage me to write more and better, so I hope you keep up with the story.

...

Aaaand, after a lot of mushy and whatnot, on with story.

I hope you enjoy the chapter.

(There's not actual Minato, Shikaku or even Kushina, which made me a little reluctant to post it as it is, but I consider getting a Genin team a rite of passage and decided to make this its own chapter.)

(On a side note - again - do you guys pay attention to the quote in each chapter? I just feel so much better with it there.)

All Things Are Difficult Before They Are Easy

By Amaryllis D. Namikaze

Chapter VIII:

The Genin Team

"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

- Art Williams

Kumi,

I'm so proud of you, sweetie! I can't believe that you're already a Genin - time sure flies, doesn't it? You used to be so tiny. I bet you've grown a lot by now.

I hope your dreams are still burning with the same intensity as when I left. It may seem vague to you, but I'm sure your heart already knows exactly what you want, even if your mind doesn't consciously acknowledge it. You were shy, baby, but never indecisive. Remember that.

I'm sure your brother is almost a Chūnin - if he isn't already - by now, so, please, do remind him to take care of himself instead of just of you. He's a really bright boy, but I swear he's too silly to take seriously sometimes.

Hope you doing well,

Mommy

Truth was: I still was that nervous, little kid that had entered the Academy full of hopes, goals and, most of all, shyness. Oh, I had gotten better at controlling my awkward discomfort in front of new people - but this didn't mean I had become extroverted or shameless at all.

That's exactly why I was jittery, almost shaking as a falling leaf, in fact, while Saki-sensei called the new Genin teams. There was no chronological order to the call, which made me even more anxious.

"Calm your tits down, Flea," Tsume laughed right beside me, using her usual crude language.

As if I had breasts - or, rather, as if I'd ever have breasts. I'm not sure how they felt and, frankly, I didn't want to discover. There was a saying in our group that Tsume was more of a boy than I was. I should've been offended, but I tried to be honest with myself most of the time.

I was weak in hand-to-hand combat. I was terrible at creating Genjutsu. I was afraid of tarantulas. Tsume was more boyish than myself. Some things just had to be accepted. Simple.

"You won't die in a team made up of acquaintances, you know," Kihito's verbal tick came to my attention. He was doing his favorite activity when sitting behind me - playing with my hair. I suppose I should cut it sometime - it was reaching my hipbones, after all - but I could never bring myself to do it.

"Yeah, you're gonna be the one to kill your teammates," Ren said and we all waited for what we knew was coming. A pause. "They'll suffer from cuteness overload."

Mikoto giggled behind her small, creamy-colored hand and the Snarky-and-Crude Duo burst out laughing. Even Chitarō, the traitor, cracked a grin at my expense while my cheeks got flaming red as usual.

Ren had spent our last year in the Academy commenting how cuter I was getting with each passing day. Had I been a girl, I'm sure I'd be over the moon. As a boy? Not so much. When Minato wanted to annoy me, he called me 'his baby sister'. He was lucky he was my favorite person in the world of he wouldn't be anything but a corpse.

"You bunch, be quiet," Saki-sensei reprehended, exasperated with our usual antics, and we apologized as one...

"Sorry, sensei."

... Some more sheepish than others.

"As I was saying, Team Four consists of Uchiha Mikoto, Sarutobi Kihito and Inuzuka Tsume. Your sensei is called Koharu Utatane."

As said people traded excited grins or satisfied glances, I thought over their teacher's name. It took me awhile for the answer to pop up - in fact, sensei called three teams whilst I was at it - but the Sandaime Hokage's female councilor came to the front of my mind.

When I watched the series, I had always thought of her as too stiff and close-minded. Her militant way of life - almost as bad as Danzō's - seemed absolutely overbearing. After living in Konoha for ten years, however, I could understand - not like it, but understand - why she was so strict.

I wondered for a moment how a shy Mikoto, a wild Tsume and a freedom-seeker Kihito would fare under her command. Well, at least they were bound to learn great things, if her reputation was to be believed.

"Team One consists of Namikaze Kumi," my attention immediately wandered back to my teacher, "Nara Chitarō and Yamanaka Ren. Your sen-"

"Yes!" Ren, of course, celebrated, throwing his fist up in the air. The whole class laughed at the stupidity of the scene and Saki-sensei's right eyebrow was trembling with effort to reign his anger. "I get Chita and Kumi-chan!"

Briefly, I pondered over the fact that, most probably, some of my classmates still thought I was a girl even to this day.

"Hey, Shorty, guess they considered you girly enough for the usual one-female-two-male team."

"And you boyish enough," Chitarō came to my defense at once, replying to Tsume's thoughtless teasing with no real bite.

The Inuzuka heir was going to respond - most likely with a kind "Fuck off" - but Saki-sensei threw a boor at her, which she neatly dodged. The perks of being the teacher of a bunch of twelve-year-old ninjas.

"Team One," sensei started over, "Your sensei is Hatake Sakumo. Team Five consists of Tanaka Jin,..."

The teacher kept on going, but I stopped in my tracks. Kakashi's father was my Genin sensei? Not to mention the man's own amazing reputation. Everybody who had ever heard of the Sannin had listened to Konoha's White Fang's tales as well. The man was S-ranked in most Bingo Books, for goodness' sake.

I tried to ignore the fact that he'd probably kill himself five to six years from now and leave his child genius son all alone in the world. It wasn't my business.

Okay, so it became my business.

Hatake Sakumo had come to collect at noon, calling for Team One and taking us to training ground six, where there was an amazing waterfall and trees so thick and ancient that you had to stop and stare at it for a few seconds.

He was an imposing man to follow through the streets, politely greeting people when they called his name. His height was enormous - really, I could comprehend why Kakashi would grow up to be so tall - but his arms and torso weren't as bulky as Jiraiya's. Through the fuzzy memories of my first life, I had seen his hair - a long and wild ponytail and unkempt bangs hanging over his forehead protect - as white, kind of like the Toad Sannin, but it was more of a silver than anything. And his eyes could be as dark as an Uchiha's any day.

All in all, he seemed like a man you didn't want to piss off.

Which is why I was surprised when he turned finally stopped, turned around and gave us the most laidback grin I had ever seen. With the way Kakashi turned out in the series, I had expected a man as stern as Koharu Utatane, but it was obvious by the way his 32-teeth smile plastesred across his face that this was not the case.

"Hello, ducklings," he said and Ren was the only one to chirp a response. Chitarō was too lazy and I was too cautious around new people to be so open. Especially adult males. After Father, it was hard trusting them from the beginning. Daddy was a special case, even if he had died when I was five

Konoha's White Fang didn't seem disheartened by our silent mood, though.

"My name is Hatake Sakumo and I'm your new sensei. We'll spend a long time together, so I think an introduction would be a good way to go. Why don't you start?"

He jerked his chin toward Ren, who smiled so widely you'd think he had won the lottery. His cheerful demeanor had gotten worse through the years and now he was as jumpy as a bird.

"I'm Yamanaka Ren, but you can call me Ren," he said. Well, duh. "I'm eleven, but I'll be twelve soon enough and even my older brother won't be able to defeat me then!"

Chitarō rolled his eyes good-naturedly. Between the three of us, Ren was the most childish one. His way of seeing life was too bright, even though his father was the current Head of the T&I Division. It seemed like a pre-pubescent Yamanaka trait, though, because Inoichi had been much the same way a couple of years before (at least, every time I met up with the guy) and Ino, from what I remember, had been/would be too.

"I love my family, Chita, Kumi-chan, Kihito, Tsume and Mikoto," he would've kept listing his beloved friends had Chitarō not nudged his ribs with his elbow. "My dream is to be the strongest Yamanaka out there."

For a moment, I thought our new teacher was overwhelmed by the amount of information or even the happy way it was delivered, but he simply laughed and asked Chitarō to introduce himself. I absently noted how much his laugh resembled a bark.

"Nara Chitarō," he drawled and I hid my grin behind my fingers. "I love sleeping. I hate waking up. My dream is to be able to sleep for as long as I can."

Sakumo-sensei - and, damn, the man had already earned the title - snickered. Given his reputation, it was doubtful he had never worked with a Nara before, so his reaction seemed to lean towards amused rather than shocked.

"And the tiny one?"

Ren, excitable as a puppy, hugged my head at my newest nickname. And... tiny one? Seriously? One-hundred and twenty-five centimeters isn't even that short, people. If I was as outspoken as Tsume or even Kihito, I'd have made a scene about my height or something. As it was, I merely started introducing myself.

"My name is Namikaze Kumi and..."

What could I say about me? I'd never done an introduction such as this before. In my first, no one had been really interested in ugly-me (what had been my name again?). In this life, well, Ren talked enough for the both of us.

"I don't really have a dream, I guess," I finished, lamely. Chitarō patted my head, comfortingly.

"Kumi-chan is a boy, Sakumo-sensei," Ren declared, stubbornly crossing his arms. "Just to make things clear."

For a guy who liked to add -chan to my name and call me cute at any given chance, Ren was pretty protective about my gender, always telling people off if they as much made me uncomfortable about my excessively girly appearance.

Sakumo-sensei seemed surprised at the input, "Huh," he made, unsure. "I read his files, Ren-kun, don't worry."

While my best dirty-blond friend grinned, apparently satisfied, my other best friend sighed in exasperation at Ren's antics.

"Well," Sakumo-sensei said, after a few seconds of thoughtful silence. "Most Jōnin-sensei do a test of some sort to see if their students have the capacity it takes to be a Chūnin or are better off in another division, such as Genin Corps and so on."

We nodded, aware of this fact. Our graduation class, for example, had had only eighteen people as opposed to the thirty-something when we started. Some gave up through the years, others were branched off during our last and second-to-last year to some department they showed potential in. As for us, the eighteen remaining, only half of us would stay with a Jōnin-sensei to teach us - the rest would either go back to the Academy or join the Corps.

It was tough being a ninja, but who ever said it would be easy? I had trained every single day since I was six and here I was. Ready to face the world. Not.

"I won't do any test," he announced and, despite our surprised expressions, kept on saying, "I'll be honest with what this team is supposed to become."

I frowned, unsure.

"Until six months ago, I was the captain to an ANBU team called 'First Response Team' or, basically, Team One," Sakumo-sensei explained, his laidback demeanor from before completely extinguished. "One of my teammates retired after receiving a rather nasty injury and the other two were whisked away to different departments."

I winced at the word injury. Despite training so hard, I had never broken a bone in my life or even cut myself seriously. I handled my kunai with caution and Minato never went all out with me and - except perhaps for Kihito, who was pretty mean with his bō-staff - no Academy student was able to break something as hard as the femur, for example.

Suddenly, I was very aware of my status as a green Genin.

"However, Konoha has a tradition of always keeping a First Response Team, being said team made up of all-rounder fighters. Hokage-sama approached me about the possibility of keeping Team One active with the addition of, let's say, new blood."

Ren was so excited beside me, you could practically feel him shaking. Even Chitarō was wide-eyed. I was simply very, very worried. What had Mom said in her last letter? You're not an indecisive child? I was feeling definitely hesitant right now, because I could sense where Sakumo-sensei was going with this and, honestly, I didn't like it.

My only goal in life was to keep my brother alive - and didn't that sound depressing? - and, perhaps, make as many friends as I could. I didn't want grandeur or fame or reputation. I also didn't want death, which seemed likely in such an important team.

"We carefully observed the graduating class this year, testing its potential, and were satisfied with you three. Each one of you has your own weaknesses and strengths, but we - as in Hokage-sama and I - believe that, with careful instruction, you can evolve to be great and capable ninja."

I gulped my anxiety down. They were putting a lot of faith in two eleven-year-old and one ten-year-old boys. Sure, we had our strong points, but were we capable of being as great as they thought we could?

I carefully picked apart our abilities, frowning.

Ren was, above everything, a Yamanaka, which meant that mind games were one of his best tricks. He could lie better than any of our friends, especially because you didn't expect it of someone so friendly. He was, along with Mikoto, the best at creating illusions and dispersing them. His Ninjutsu could use some work, as his chakra pools were considerably small, and his arsenal consisted of the basic Academy jutsus and his family ones. He had proven himself capable of winning in hand-to-hand combat, but it was obvious his specialty lied in long-range. One of his biggest problems was that, in spite of being great at manipulating people and making them spill their beans, his immaturity always showed itself at the worst times - such as when he needed to stop and think before rushing in.

Chitarō, on the other hand, was careful about everything he did. When fighting with his sword - which he had received from his father after his preference for the weapon became clear - he never wasted his energy in unnecessary movements, or flourishes, getting straight to the point. He was the better of us in decoding and strategizing and could solve a riddle faster than we could recite it. His Ninjutsu, however, was much like Ren's - based on his family jutsus and quickly spent with his small chakra pools.

And, then, there was me. I had improved a lot in seal making and I was now confident enough to draw intermediate ones if given previous time and warning. My Ninjutsu was still my greatest strength as well as my control over chakra. My elemental affinity had come as a surprise this year, as I had not only one, but two - lightning and wind. According to the medic-nin who examined me at Saki-sensei's insistence, they were equally distributed inside myself, which was rare... in a good way, they told me. My Genjutsu could do some - or a lot - of work, as well as my traps and my weapon handling ability was non-existent beyond kunai and shuriken. After establishing a Taijutsu style suited to my body-type, I had improved a lot, but this didn't mean that I was great either, because I couldn't have gotten any worse. My sensorial ability had - to my great relief - gotten way better after Jiraiya's instruction and careful warning to not use during my first real mission.

All in all, yes, I could see where Hokage-sama and Sakumo-sensei were coming from. We had many things to improve and train, but many strong points as well. Not to mention our obvious capability to work together and function perfectly as a team.

"Kumi?" Chitarō shook my arm softly, catching my attention.

I looked up, noticing his worried gaze. Ren was busy firing a million questions at our suddenly overwhelmed teacher and hadn't noticed my wandering thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, grateful for his always-present care, "I'm fine, Chita. Thanks, though."

He patted my head for the second time in this hour and said nothing. He didn't need to say anything.

"Slow down, Ren-kun," Sakumo-sensei laughed at our excited friend. "I'm sure those questions of yours will be answered soon enough. For now, I just want to ask you, guys, some questions and hear what will be your answers."

I narrowed my eyes. He had said that no tests would be done, but it certainly seemed like a test of some sort. Sakumo-sensei, however, wasn't a Jōnin for nothing and met my cautious gaze with a sheepish smile, trying to lower my guard with his laidback manner of behaving.

"Who has the best Genjutsu out of you three?" Sensei started once Ren sat down once again.

As one, I clutched Ren's sleeve and said person threw his hand up. Chitarō didn't bother with the obvious, but his eyes glanced at out blond friend, as if answering with no words.

Sakumo-sensei nodded, thoughtful.

"And the best Ninjutsu?"

My cheeks got red at my friends' pointed gaze, but I didn't deny it. My ability to control chakra as I wanted was one of the few things I took pride in. Being able of performing a few elemental jutsu, sensing others and walking up and across any surface was my specialty, after all, and even my older brother told me how better than him I was at it.

"Taijutsu?"

This made us all pause. I was too tiny and weak to be of real use for now, despite my great flexibility and speed. Ren was better at fighting away from his opponents and Chitarō usually didn't bother engaging in hand-to-hand combat.

"Chita... I guess?" I said, observing the silence that ensued.

Ren shook his head, "Chita is the greatest at Kenjutsu, that's for sure, but your form is much cleaner than his."

I shrugged, not really agreeing with him.

"I trained my katas to be able to perform them as well as possible, but I'm not able to defeat anyone much stronger or taller than me for now and, really, I still commit silly mistakes during fighting."

Sakumo-sensei was carefully observing our interaction and I knew this just had to be some kind of test.

"We'll settle this as a tie, then," he said when we didn't reach a conclusion. "Can any of you devise traps?"

He had said that Hokage-sama and him had paid attention to us through this year, so it seemed obvious to me that he'd known our abilities. And he also said that our files were open to him as a Jōnin-sensei.

"Chita and I can," Ren offered as an answer, sensing the Nara's laziness at work. "Kumi-chan is horrible at it, though."

I looked away, "Sorry."

Ren smiled at me, sending a message that meant well.

"You can't be great at everything," he said, apologetic. "But you're great at many things, Kumi-chan."

Sakumo-sensei nodded - in agreement to Ren's statement or in satisfaction, I didn't know, but both possibilities warmed me up inside. Was it because this man had such a terrible future that I was quickly warming up to his presence? Usually, I didn't do pity, because nobody had pitied me in my last life. Between my friends' friendly personalities, however, it was hard to be selfish and bitter. They always managed to bring out the best of me.

Sakumo-sensei entertained us with a few more questions, going from who was capable of decoding to who was capable of running a hundred meters in less than twenty seconds. I discovered many things that would seem silly to know, but, at the same time, to not have known all these years - such as Ren's apparent ability to stay two hours hanging upside down despite his small chakra reserves or Chitarō's astounding way of managing to eat seven bowl of ramen without throwing up (gross and wicked, by the way).

"Do any of you know any seals?"

I froze and Sakumo-sensei immediately noticed it. Damn it. Even though we had spent one entire year in the Academy learning how to lie and deceive, my unconscious reactions - such as surprise or anxiety - were always clear to someone who was looking for them.

"Kumi-chan?" To my great despair, Sakumo-sensei had opted to use Ren's nickname. I hoped he would get bored of it quickly enough.

"Hm... I've been learning how to draw seals for a few years now," I admitted and, to my relief, Ren and Chitarō didn't seem betrayed at the withhold information.

Actually, the former seemed kind of amazed.

"Really? Kumi-chan can draw seals? I heard from Onii-san that's it's very hard!"

Chitarō's all-knowing eyes observed me.

"Well, I'm not that good, really. I can create some explosive tags different from the standard ones and expand the usual storation scrolls, but any battle seal is beyond my current capability."

Sakumo-sensei smiled at me, comfortingly.

"Don't too hard on yourself, Kumi-chan," he said, putting his calloused hand on my bony shoulder. "Fūinjutsu is one of the hardest shinobi arts and it's amazing that you can all this given your age. Who is your teacher?"

I bit my lip and sensei sensed my uneasiness.

"Actually..." I paused. I knew a lecture was coming, because Jōnin-sensei were known as worriers, always wondering if they were breaking their subordinates. Even Kakashi had been/would be like that and that was saying something. "I kind of... learnt it all by myself."

Sakumo-sensei seemed too stunned to speak for a moment, before his eyebrows knitted together.

"How long have you been studying seals?"

I tilted my head sideways, surprised at the lack of a lecture.

"Since I was seven or eight, I think."

Sensei sighed, putting a hand over his face, as if his appearance was belying his actual age. He crouched down in front of me, giving me his whole attention while my teammates watched with curiosity on their faces.

"Fūinjutsu is as powerful as it's dangerous, Kumi," he said and, by his tone, I could he was treating me not as a child, but as a reckless subordinate meant to supervised. "I've never heard of someone learning it by themselves, much less someone as young as yourself."

A pause.

"I'll find a suitable teacher for you and make your lessons not clash with our training and mission hours. It's obvious that you're a prodigy in this, so it shouldn't be wasted. I'll have to tell your brother, though, since he's responsible for your safety as your guardian."

I was overjoyed at the thought of having a teacher after years of tough sailing through the sealing world. On the other hand, telling Minato about my most guarded - well, second most guarded, right after my origin - secret wasn't something I was anxious to do.

I nodded, feeling slightly defeated. Sensei laughed at my disheartened expression and patted my cheek carefully.

"Ne, ne, Sakumo-sensei, you seem good with kids," Ren commented. "Kumi-chan usually doesn't like strangers."

I turned to him, surprised that he had noticed as much, and Chitarō muttered something that sounded like "Bloody gossiper" beside me, which made no sense.

Sakumo-sensei smiled sheepishly, scratching his cheek with his forefinger.

"Ah, it's because of my baby boy. He isn't even one yet, so I'm always scared that I'll crush him or something. Natsumi, my wife, is much better at handling him than I am."

Ren threw his arms around me, lifting me from the ground easily. He had gotten at least fifteen centimeters taller this year, so our height difference was getting more and more obvious.

"Kumi-chan is all fragile looking, but you can pick him up without breaking him," he assured our teacher cheerfully.

Sensei laughed, "I can see that."

That's how my Genin life started. Had I known how hard things would get from there on, perhaps I would have sat down and cried instead.