FOURTEEN

Carlisle Cullen stumbled.

I had never seen a vampire stumble before, and until that exact moment, I would have thought that such an error in grace would have been entirely impossible. Amusingly, it seemed my poor mate had accomplished it.

Then he gaped, and I mean a full-on-mouth-open-eyes-bugging-out gaped! And he was so utterly enthralled with what he saw that he did not even seem to register the flash of Alice's camera as she took a picture. I knew that it was rather difficult to surprise the leader of the Cullen clan to such an extent, but apparently I had. And his bemused children were capturing the moment on film, more than likely as blackmail material.

"That is—"

"I hope you don't mind," I interrupted as I pulled it tighter around my body. "I figured that it might get a bit chilly and I wanted to have something warmer than just my little hoodie, so I went digging through your closet." I gave him the most innocent smile that I could muster. "You don't mind, do you, Carlisle?" When he just stared, I continued in a softly seductive tone, "Considering how much bigger you are—" when I let my gaze drop below his beltline, I could see him fidgeting— "I'm surprised it fits me so well. This must be rather tight on you, Carlisle. And I must say, I never imagined you as the leather type before. I can now."

I could hear Jasper practically choking. Between trying not to breathe in the scent of my blood and being hit with my arousal, I realized this was probably hard for him. No pun intended. So I decided to take mercy on his overwhelmed senses, and my mate's raging instincts, and smiled brightly before offering up one last quip. "If you want me to take it off for you, Carlisle, just let me know." I winked before turning to Alice and finding her and the other three gaping at me in a similar fashion. "So… when are we going?"

Alice was the first to recover. She smiled happily and bounced up and down. "We were finishing up your lunch when you came down. All we have to do is pack the cooler and we'll be ready to go." She shot a look over my shoulder. "Do not touch her!" She ignored the Cullen leader's unhappy growl. "If you drag her back upstairs, we'll never be able to get you two back down." She pointed her finger at my mate. "Bella needs to relax — oh my God, Carlisle, stop leering at her like that! — and you need to get used to her being around predators if you are going to be able to meet with Sam and the pack tonight. And do Bella a favor and go change."

I turned and that was the exact moment that it registered in my brain.

A few moments ago, I had been so completely focused on my mate's beautiful face that my brain did not even bother to acknowledge the state of the clothes that were stretched across that gorgeous body, or perhaps I was just so in love with my mate that it did not matter. Either way, my brain chose this moment to pay attention and I wanted to remove it from my skull and give it a good swift kick for choosing to betray me now. It really was the most inconvenient time for the realization to set in and my own personal instincts flair up for two reasons: the most important being that I was terrified of the reaction Carlisle would have to my reaction, considering the progress we had made with him allowing his instincts to surface and how well he was beginning to balance said instincts with the appropriate control.

I waited for the other reason to hit me full force, but to my surprise it never did. Sure, I felt a bit queasy at seeing the blood and bits of flesh splattered on his clothes, but to my great relief, I did not pass out. I simply closed my eyes, took a deep breath and murmured, "Since when does Carlisle Cullen play with his food? I thought that sort of immature behavior was limited to Emmett?"

"Hey! I resemble that!" the vampire in question shouted with mock indignation.

I rolled my eyes behind my closed lids then slowly opened them to find my mate watching me nervously, obviously anxious about having approached me in this state and wary of my response. I took another deep breath and shook my head teasingly. "When you do laundry tonight, don't put in my red underwear. I mean, unless you want to start wearing purple to work, but frankly, I don't think the color would look good with your skin tone."

He chuckled at my words then bowed his head in a gentlemanly gesture and disappeared in a blur.

I released my breath slowly as I turned back to the others and I shot Rosalie a grateful look as she handed me some saltine crackers to settle my churning my stomach. "Why do I feel like I just passed some sort of test?"

"Because you did," Jasper said calmly and chuckled when I looked to him in confused surprise. "Normally, Carlisle is not that destructive when he hunts, but with all the stress that is currently going on, he went for larger game than he usually goes for. And he didn't come in here to intentionally see your reaction. He came in here because it's within our instincts to return straight to our mates. When you suddenly realized how he looked, he was worried that you would be disgusted with him, not just the… residue… from his hunting. When it registered, he subconsciously wanted to see just how much you were willing to take. Let's face it: even with his instincts in the temperamental stages right now, that's still not exactly the extent of our… nature. If you can see him like that, when he's less…"

"Human?"

I yelped in surprise at the velvety voice in my ear and the two cold arms that slipped around my waist, pulling me backwards to a marble chest. I felt my lips curl into a smile. "You owe Rosalie big time. She's the only reason your leather jacket survived."

"Are you all right?" he asked concernedly. When I nodded, he nuzzled his face into my neck where I could feel the twist of a smile. "You did turn the barest shade of sage green. I am surprised you did not pass out."

"So am I," mumbled beneath my breath, forgetting that he could hear it.

He snuffled at my hair, the softest purr vibrating his chest. "Are you quite certain that you are all right?" When I reassured him that I was feeling much better, he let his hands smooth over the buttery-leather. "It looks far more pleasing on you than it ever has on myself."

I argued happily, "Oh, I totally disagree!" I closed my eyes as I imagined Carlisle strutting into a room, wearing form-fitting jeans, a tee-shirt, and his tight leather jacket. I did not care that an extremely lascivious grin was spreading rapidly across my face, because the image that I had in my head was delicious, absolutely panty-wetting delicious. I knew that somehow, someway I was going to get Carlisle Cullen out of his home wearing that mouth-watering outfit, no matter what gossip we started.

I apparently had let my lust get out of control because I felt the strong vibrations before I heard the deep growl rip from his throat. He tightened his grip around my waist and began rocking his hips against me, his arousal glaringly obvious as he rubbed himself against my ass slowly. When Alice quipped 'would you two get a room?', I slapped my palm down on the countertop and snarked, "Would you make up your mind?"

Emmett and Jasper vanished out of the window, laughing loudly. Rosalie was biting her lip to stop her chuckles as she gathered up the food they were going to be taking for me and she mumbled that she would see us by the lake, before disappearing. A still-shocked Alice was the last to leave, grumbling that we had better be by the lake in half an hour.

When we were alone, Carlisle spun me around and lifted me onto the countertop. Black slacks hung low on his narrow hips and the sleeves of the pale blue shirt were rolled up, revealing those beautifully powerful arms. He was an utter god, there was no doubt about that. When I reached to undo my jeans, he stopped me, shaking his head before burying his face in my neck and nibbling on his mark. "Believe me, m'uzzola, I want nothing more than to bury myself inside your exquisite body but unfortunately restraining my sexual urges is something that I must learn as well. Otherwise, the next few years will be exceedingly problematic."

I growled impatiently and moved my hips against his, earning a hiss of pleasure before it leveled off to a delightful purr. "M'Isabella," he whispered through the rumble, "if you can be patient, I can assure you that you will have whatever you desire of me when the night comes. Between our encounter with the wolves and explaining everything tonight to your father, I can promise you that we will both be in desperate need of release."

I mumbled, "This is cruel and unusual punishment." I leaned my face toward his and kissed his cheek. I moved my mouth along his hardened flesh then darted my tongue into his ear before suckling the marble lobe into my mouth. I was very pleased with his reaction, his hips thrusting forward against my growing heat.

"Streghetta," he hissed, bowing his head to my neck again and scraping his teeth ever-so-slightly against my skin. "You really are a tempting little witch, bella mia."

I blushed and gasped at the tone of his voice and all of the dirty thoughts that he provoked in my mind. I was beyond thankful that he was not privy to my secret thoughts. However, my deep blush was enough to raise his curiosity and I shook my head fiercely.

This was not enough to deter him. "What is it, mia passerotta?",

"Not if my life depended on it," I mumbled under my breath, immediately receiving a snarl of displeasure.

A hand fisted in my hair and he tipped my head back, giving him greater access to my throat, where he growled against the delicate flesh. "Do you understand why I call you m'Isabella, cara mia, m'uzzola, mia passerotta? Because you are mine. You are my mate, and as such, you should trust me with everything you think, feel, do... just as you have asked me to trust you. Do you remember, m'Isabella, me informing you that our mating would not properly end until a year or two after you are changed? Do you recall the reason I gave? Please, do not force my instincts. I do not wish to dominate you for any reasons but pleasure."

I moaned in a mix of delight and worry. "I don't want to upset you."

He pulled away, his dark citrine eyes gazing at me lovingly. "Let me be the judge of what will upset me, m'amore."

I nibbled on my lower lip for a few moments before sighing embarrassedly and waving my fingers for him to come closer. When he was where I wanted him, I wrapped one hand around his neck and cupped his ear with the other, whispering to him the naughty thoughts that had penetrated my consciousness. A loud growl rumbled in his chest as his hips jerked forward. "Dear God almighty!" he groaned harshly. "Bella mia, that is truly the dirtiest thing that I have ever heard in all of my existence. I do not believe that even Emmett's mind could have created such a wickedly filthy idea."

I bowed my head and covered my face as embarrassment pulsed through me. I knew it was wrong the moment it had popped into my head and I felt utterly ashamed of myself. So, needless to say, I was surprised to feel my mate's fingers tenderly caress my jaw, tipping my head up so he could stare directly into my eyes.

With one hand caressing my cheek, his other hand slid behind my waist and dragged me practically off the counter as he pressed his erection firmly against my damp jeans. "I hate to disillusion you of your worry, cara mia, but I am far from displeased." In reality, he looked like he wanted to rip my clothes off and ravage me right then and there. "Alice is going to be very unhappy when we show up late." When he winked, I gasped and immediately pressed my face into his neck, flushing brightly as he chuckled at my discomfort. "Actually, I do believe that would be best played upon our leaving the lake."

"Oh God," I whimpered at the thought.

"No, cara mia. Just Carlisle," he cooed before disappearing in blur and missing my dramatic eyeroll at his terrible pun. When he returned, he was carrying a small bag and I felt curiosity overtake me, feeling a bit foolish when I realized that he was just loading bottles of water and cokes into it. With a small smirk on his face, he scooped me up into his arms and leaped through the window.

Saying that Alice looked unhappy with us when we made it to the lake would have been a huge understatement, and the fact that she had probably seen what I had told Carlisle most likely did not help her frame of mind. I thought that when she looked at Carlisle, I heard her mutter something about being "a seriously disturbed individual", but I knew that I had to be mistaken because no matter how much progress Carlisle had made with his instincts, I doubted that he would ever act on my mind's naughty thoughts. That was one area of role-playing that was definitely beyond his willingness, I was certain, due to his own personal beliefs.

Carlisle kept to the shaded areas and I supposed this was so I would not be overwhelmed. I was still a bit embarrassed from earlier; even my blush, which had spread to practically my entire upper body, had yet to completely dissipate. So, when my mate grabbed me and pulled me down beside him on a blanket, that had previously been laid on the ground, my already pink cheeks darkened when he pressed my body against his. When he teased me with another wink, I buried my face in his chest, unable to face him. He chuckled in my ear softly, "Bella mia, for a young lady who has spent the past several days assuring me of my existing humanity within my own animalistic nature, encouraging acceptance of certain behaviors that would be considered taboo for society as well as eagerly pursuing them, had the startling creativity to even think of such a wickedly delightful scenario, I am genuinely surprised that you seem not to have the temerity to engage in your own naughty design."

I was not aware of how stiff I had gone or that my embarrassment was pouring off so strongly that it was uncomfortable to the vampires around me until I heard my mate ask with genuine concern, "Isabella, are you quite all right?"

I still could not look up, but I nodded, then grimaced when I heard Jasper's soft Southern drawl asking if he could talk with me for a few moments. I could feel Carlisle's hesitation, but when the cowboy-vampire hummed something to my mate at their vampiric speed, I felt cool lips press to the top of my head and his soothing tenor whisper, "I am going to go for a run because Jasper wishes to speak with you without my presence. I will only be gone for a few minutes, cara mia. I will return soon, I promise."

With that, he was gone, and I was left alone with Jasper… Well, Emmett, Alice, and Rose were swimming and splashing each other in the lake, but they were pretending not to hear what was being said, and I was grateful for the facade.

Jasper sat down a few feet away and when I raised my eyebrow in question, he explained, "All because Carlisle is beginnin' to get a better handle on his restraint, does not mean that it would be wise for me to get too close. He won't like it at all if you smell too much of another male. It was about drivin' him mad to leave you alone with us, but when I told him exactly how ashamed you are, he felt you might want to talk without him around." He tilted his head and looked at me curiously. "Through all of this, I've never felt embarrassment quite like this from you—a few hints at times, but never this strong. What happened?"

I blinked in surprise. "Alice didn't tell you?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Alice doesn't tell us everything. When it comes to private matters, she's usually very good at keepin' quite. I'm guessin' this has to do with why she looked like she bit into crab apple before y'all showed up?"

I nodded meekly, ducking my head and letting the long waves of hair cover my face as I squeezed my eyes shut. "Carlisle said something and an idea popped in my head. It was horribly inappropriate and I immediately felt bad for thinking it, because I know what it means for Carlisle. He felt how embarrassed I was, wanted to know why I was feeling that way and when I refused to tell him, he—"

"Pulled the dominate-instinct card?" he queried with a small smile. When I nodded, he returned the gesture. "It's within a vampire's instinct to learn everything there is to know about their mates, every desire, every fear, every thought… It is part of what helps keep mates together forever, helps maintain their level of intimacy, complete and utter openness with one another." He shrugged almost apologetically. "What happened then?"

"I told him," I murmured morosely. "I didn't want to, because it was horribly inappropriate."

"Inappropriate… I hate to point this out to you, Bella," Jasper said kindly, "but this is comin' from a young woman who's been convincin' her mate that it is more than appropriate to drink her menstrual blood. To most humans, there is nothin' that could possibly be more inappropriate than that. Besides, how did Carlisle react? Was he upset? Did he seem offended?"

"No!" I huffed.

"Then why do you think it's inappropriate, Bella?" he pressed.

"Because it has to do with something… bad that happened in his life." I picked at a thread of the blanket, trying to ignore the stinging in my eyes. "It was bad enough that it popped into my mind, but I didn't want to tell him. I mean, this relates to something that really upset him… It-it has to do with why he repressed his nature in the first place."

"Oh!" he exclaimed, looking very surprised. He sat that there for a moment, obviously thinking about what I had revealed to him, and I could see recognition slowly creeping into his eyes. "Bella… what exactly did Carlisle say to you to bring on these thoughts?"

"He… he called me a tempting little witch," I muttered miserably. When the blond male burst out laughing, I flinched and felt my face grow hotter with humiliation. "It's not funny, Jasper!"

"Bella, I can promise you now," he drawled soothing, sending me a strong wave of calm as I started to tear up, "that Carlisle in no way, shape or form thinks that whatever it was you thought up exactly is inappropriate. I can almost guarantee you that whatever it was you thought pales in comparison to what, I know, has been cookin' in his brain. Trust me, I've never felt waves of lust that strong rollin' off that man like that before, and with that devious look in his eye, darlin', I almost feel sorry for you. I'll be surprised if you can actually walk to the meetin' with the wolves tonight."

My mouth dropped open and closed only when Jasper laughed loudly at my dumbstruck expression. "He… he's really not upset?"

"I promise, Bella," he said with a grin, before glancing off to his left. "Now, Carlisle just got back into hearing range. So if you don't want him to hear anything—" He lifted his lips in the silent gesture and winked before blurring back to the edge of the water.

I sat there for a few minutes thinking about what Jasper had said. If Carlisle was not upset by my suggestion then why was I panicking about it? It was sort of a double standard when I stopped and thought about it—me trying so hard to get him to accept his nature and then fretting over a simple suggestion that he seemed to have taken pleasure in.

"Feeling better?"

I jumped at the soft cool breath on my ear. "Carlisle! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

He chuckled and pulled me into his strong embrace, nuzzling his nose against the shell of my ear as he drew me back against his chest. "Perdonami, mia streghetta." When I shivered in his arms, he purred softly. "Will you tell me, bella cigna, what it is that troubles you so?"

I sighed and shifted slightly, turning so I could rest my head on his shoulder and have access to his gorgeous neck. "It was part of your past, Carlisle. It had a hand in causing your own self-loathing. It was an inappropriate thought and I immediately regretted it… I really wish that you hadn't asked. I didn't want to tell you."

"Because you believe that it will bring to my mind terrible memories of my past?" he queried seriously, and I nodded. "I will not lie, bella mia, I can still recall the atrocities of my past. Yes, they still exist, but the memories of my past have grown hazy with time. They are simply that: the past, a past that no longer places any bearing upon my feelings, my thoughts, my instincts or my soul. It was a tragic oversight on my part, but time has moved on. Now that you are in my life, so have I… And had the past not occurred in the manner that it did, I would not be here—" he stroked my cheek tenderly— "with you, my mate, my heart, my life."

I felt tears stinging my eyes. "Damn hormones," I muttered beneath my breath, before sighing contentedly as my mate gently wiped them away.

"Please, m'Isabella," he whispered into my ear, "do not worry so over that which no longer exists for either of us. I have let go of who I once was. He was burned away with the spreading of the venom. All that remained and remains to this day is the immortal creature that is your soul mate."

I wrinkled my nose. "Creature… You make it sound like you're some sort of mutant rabid dog being used a lab rat."

He snorted back a chuckle, then nuzzled my temple, before purring into my ear, "Perhaps, m'uzzola, you would be more comfortable hearing me say vampire."

I trembled at the way the word practically rolled off his talented tongue, the velvet tenor of his slight English accent caressing the word in the same way he cooed the pet names he used for me, and sweet God above, I could not stop the way my body reacted to his words or his tone. I knew that he could taste my arousal in the air. Instinctively, his lips latched on to the mark on my neck as one hand slid to press between my thighs, rubbing me firmly through my jeans. "Your family's watching," I moaned in half-heart protestation.

"They are your family as well, mia dolce vina," he murmured before pulling away with a groan. "However, while I might accept my own immortal existence, that still does not mean I can simply rut with you at any given place or time."

"Are you sure about that?" I retorted petulantly. "We could always go for a little walk in the woods!" I supplied brightly, gazing at him with a wicked smile.

His eyes darkened with lust as he pulled me to my feet. "I do believe you are quite right, but there is something I owe you first, mia Bella."

.

TBC

In the words of Bob Ross:

Be so very light. Be a gentle whisper.