Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. I do own Kumi, though.

Warning: child abuse and bullying (mostly mentions of it), some dark thoughts, too much fluffiness sometimes, DRAMA!, unbeta'ed. A real rollercoaster (or, at least, it's supposed to be).

Author's note:

So... Er, I discovered Spirited Away stories, that's all I can say. I also had my ballet presentation (or whatever is the word that I forgot right now for it) this month, which kept me hella busy. Anyway, here is the new chapter. Shorter than the previous one, I know, but I sincerely hope you guys finally can get a glimpse of Minato's feelings.

There's even Shikaku in this one :D

(About the seal shown on this chapter, I based it on World Trigger, in case someone notices it and comes to pester me about it.)

(There were so many reviews last chapter that I was totally blown away. YOU GUYS ROCK!)

(I'm seriously working to discover how to finish a chapter on a happy note. Really.)

All Things Are Difficult Before They Are Easy

By Amaryllis D. Namikaze

Chapter XIII:

The Conversation

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

- Maria Robinson

"It'd probably work better with a square here," Suzaku-sensei said, pointing at the end of my seal.

I creased my lips, pensive. Seals could be drawn in any shape or way - most were a circle or a swirl, since the Uzumaki were famous for creating the majority of seals used in day-to-day life. They could also come as straight-lines, wavy lines, triangles and any form really, as long as they worked and were balanced. I usually wrote them in a line or two, using the mirror technique, which meant that in the middle of them I repeated the same symbols backwards to create harmony.

This one, however, was a squared seal - four lines drawn with the same symbols positioned in a way to form said polygon. I didn't like this type of seal much, but they commonly worked best for Wind-based necessities.

I bit my lower lip, observing the consecutive strokes and deciding that a square at the end wasn't what I needed. I told my teacher as much.

He inhaled slowly, letting his dark eyes roam over the paper on the table in front of us.

"But you certainly need another form in the lines," he advised, "It'll never work this way."

I sighed, frustrated. This much I knew. I've meaning to create a seal ever since sensei decided, one month ago or so, that I had learn enough to start with my own style. Usually, it'd take longer to reach this stage of Fūinjutsu, he had said, but my own naturalness with the art made it easy for me to understand the complex concepts. I had been both excited and wary of my new task - on one hand, I loved sealing and puzzles, so constructing my own seemed amazing; however, I was afraid of never managing to think of something useful enough.

Surprisingly enough, the idea for my first seal had come from two occasions. The first one was my necessity to dodge Chitarō's sword slashes - he'd been getting better and better under Sakumo-sensei's careful instruction and it'd been getting harder and harder to get close enough to him during a Taijutsu-only spar. He was probably the most active Nara out there. The second occasion was when I sat in the grass one evening, bone-tired from training, and noticed how effortlessly a grasshopper could jump away from predators.

I had liked the idea of being able to jump away so fast and had commented about it to Suzaku-sensei. It had taken me a couple of weeks to think over how I'd able to use such a seal in battle and another few days how to even start drawing this. I had figured that one of my dual elements, Wind, would make it easier, so I added said element to my strokes. Fūinjutsu wasn't an exactly precise art, there wasn't an alphabet made for it or anything, so there wasn't a Jump command. It had to be made from scratch and it was even harder than it sounded.

I was suddenly struck by an idea.

"What if I put a gravity seal here," I pointed to the right end of my basic line, "Followed by a theta?"

I'd surprised to discover that some Greek letters existed in this world and were used in Fūinjutsu. Of all things to be encountered in the Naruto world, I certainly hadn't expected the Greek alphabet.

Suzaku rotated the paper, analyzing how my suggestion would go.

"It could work," he replied, sounding smug for some reason. "A basic gravity seal can be reduced to a simple symbol nowadays and theta is usually used as a nullifying sign. Just make sure to put a bar between the theta and the Wind part of the seal and I'm pretty sure it'd go right."

I smiled so wide that I felt my cheeks hurting. I dipped my brush in the inkpot, carefully but quickly stroking the paper. I repeated the lines four times, rotating the paper as I wrote, before ending with a perfect square of what would be squiggles to anyone who wasn't versed in the sealing art.

Suzaku-sensei chuckled at my enthusiasm. Ruffling my hair and effectively messing my usual ponytail, he stood up, heading for the back door. I huffed, letting the ribbon fall off my hair, but I wasn't really annoyed at his gesture.

I arrived at the backyard with a bounce in my step, practically trembling with excitement. It was so unlike me to be so agitated, especially in the last few months, that Suzaku-sensei put his hand over my shoulder.

"Okay, sugar-high, calm down or it won't work at all," he joked.

I nodded dutifully, still smiling. I bent down, applying the small piece of paper with the seal on the soles of my footwear with a small burst of chakra - I made sure not to let any of said energy go through the seal before it was rightfully glued to my feet or I'd have probably been blasted off the ground.

I took a deep breath, suddenly nervous at the success of my first seal. I wanted it to work. I had spent years studying for this moments and would perhaps feel like a complete failure if it didn't work like I wanted. My team had been cheering for me this entire month, saying that I would eventually work out what I wished for.

Like a well-practiced motion, I effortlessly guided my chakra downwards. I knew it worked even before I was thrown at least three meters up.

"Woah!" I let out, surprised at the height of my jump, but being trained enough to land with a mere buckle of my knees.

I felt a hand fall over my head. Managing to look up through its fingers, I saw my Fūinjutsu teacher giving me the biggest grin I'd ever seen on his face ever since I met him.

"I'm proud of you, kid," he told me and I realized why he had sounded smug before. I bit back a laugh. Of course a Nara would feel smug after being part of someone's education. For a bunch of laidback guys, they sure were one of the smuggest clan in this village.

I clenched my hands, feeling like I'd burst from happiness if I stayed too still. For the first time ever, I wanted to put my shyness aside and shout to everybody about my accomplishment. I had never felt so good about something I had made myself.

"Why don't we finish for today?" Suzaku-sensei suggested, seeing that I wasn't paying any attention to him. "Go tell your friends and don't come back here until you've found an opening for this seal during a spar, okay?"

I smiled at his subtle way of saying to rest for a few days. I nodded and sprinted away. I couldn't stop grinning like a maniac, which I'm sure scared some passing Naras. They were used to seeing me in their compound, but usually as a pretty quiet figure. I was running so fast I almost bumped into a much taller person.

"Sorry," I said, trying to take the grin off my face to look sincere enough about my mistake.

"What got you so happy?" A familiar voice questioned.

I looked up, surprised to notice that it was Shikaku. The Nara heir was wearing his Chūnin vest - the only one from his team to receive one in this last Exam and wasn't that nostalgic? - and seemed pretty relaxed with his hands deep in his pockets.

"Ah," I stammered over my own excitement. Silly me, I scolded myself. I'm not a little kid. Technically speaking, I'm older than Shikaku. "I finally managed to make my first seal work."

Dark eyes widened almost imperceptibly and a soft smirk, if such a thing could exist, made its way to the Nara heir's face.

"Is that so? Congratulations."

I grinned in thanks and waved goodbye, feeling to cheerful to bother being my usual polite self. I wasn't taken back by Shikaku's lack of questions about my new seal. Normal people would hear the news and ask first-thing-first what was my seal's use. But Shikaku wasn't your usual guy. It was like the guy knew everything sometimes, seriously.

I shrugged mentally. My best friend's older brother had always been a mysterious figure, after all. I let the observation fly out of my mind. Barely containing my urge to jump everywhere, I ran as fast as I could to my team's usual training ground.

I couldn't wait to tell them the good news.

I was still buzzing from excitement when I arrived home hours later. The one-bedroom apartment was dark and silent, as always. It had been like this for a few months now.

Suddenly feeling drained, I took off my shoes and put them away. I didn't feel like celebrating anymore.

"Kumi?" Minato's voice called from the end of the hallway and his figure made its way to the entry.

I looked up, realizing that I'd been in the doorway daydreaming for a couple of minutes. My brother had the same face from months ago, but I didn't pay as much attention to it as I did before, so it was always a surprising occasion when I noticed how bright his eyes were or how yellow his hair seemed.

Just thinking like that made me want to cry my eyes out.

"Good night, Onii-san," I said, giving him a soft smile.

Minato smiled back, though the confusion never left his eyes. He'd been confused for a long time now, I mused. I'd never told him the reason why I left the waiting room during the Chūnin Exams and only went back to the hotel hours later. No, I had been my usual self - too coward to speak up my thoughts. Like always, the words stopped in my throat and were bitterly gulped down.

It was December 4th and I'd be spending my birthdays with such horrible feelings if I didn't talk to him soon. The notion seemed unbearable, but I started sweating just thinking about what to say.

I was a scaredy-cat. I had known this for a long time, but I thought that I had somehow gotten better. I thought I could manage silly struggles like this. I was wrong. I was always wrong.

"Uh, did something interesting happen today?" Minato asked, scratching his nape awkwardly. The gesture reminded me of his future son, which made me stop in my tracks.

I glanced away for a moment, enough to leave my brother feeling even more awkward. He sighed, saying one thing or another about dinner being in the fridge and going back to our room. He'd be sleeping by the time I arrived, I was sure, because it had been this way since the Exams.

In a way, I wondered while heating up the pre-cooked dinner, it was all my fault. Minato had no way of knowing what was wrong with me, why the hell his little brother had suddenly stopped talking to him all the time. I felt guilty about it every time I glanced at his disappointed expression.

A childish side of me, however, justified my silence as his fault. Minato had a sharp mind and noticed things other people did not. Why couldn't he just realize my dislike for Kushina? Why couldn't he noticed how much she was messing with our routine? Why the hell couldn't he know she was the cause of his death?

And that's where I knew I was being ridiculous. My brother had no way of knowing what the future held for him. I did, but I'd never tell a soul about my knowledge, because I was afraid of being seen as a crazy or sick. Because I was a coward. Because I was stupid. And I kept drowning on my feelings for months now, asking myself Why me? like a victim that never tired of being dramatic.

Mother died. Father beat me up. Sister Tina was loveless. Bullies were my background music. And the world ended in pain and started with expectations again. Daddy died. Mom died. Brother would die.

It seemed laughably easy to slip into the victim's position. It was all too simple to say Hey, I didn't ask for this and conform myself to the written future. I wasn't perfect - nobody was, but people around me had made me acutely aware of said fact the first time around.

I missed the times when I was younger in this lifetime, I realized. I had hated my first time from Mother's death to the end and had hated the lack of happy memories or good feelings. But I loved the first years in this life. When I had been too scared to go out and play with other kids, because I remembered how cruel they could become, and Minato had stayed at home with me. I missed his attention and care.

I really missed my older brother.

If this had been one of my old books, Minato's voice would call me from the doorway, anxiously asking why I was crying over my plate. I was left alone with my tears.

"Where are you guys taking me?" I asked, puzzled.

Ren was insistently pulling me by my wrist and Chitarō walked a safe distance behind us, as if to guarantee I'd keep going to wherever they were taking me.

"We've all had enough of this cold war!" He said, sounding indignant.

I blinked, wondering what he was annoyed at. Most of the time, my blond best friend was calm and friendly - right then, he seemed anything but.

"Huh?" I questioned, eloquently.

Chitarō put his face next to mine, rolling his dark eyes.

"We're tired of your and Minato's fight. The poor guy doesn't even know why you've been ignoring him for so many months," he lightly scolded.

I felt my cheeks heating up and looked away. I had never said my behavior was exemplar.

"Okay, but where are you taking me?"

"Minato's team arranged with us for you two to meet and talk with no means of escape," Chitarō explained.

"Which means no running away until you're done," Ren cheerfully complemented.

I sighed. For a moment, I thought about escaping now, quickly giving up on the idea. I could outrun my friends, but I'd never be strong enough to shove Ren away first. There was no getting away this time.

We reached Team Seven's usual training ground. Fugaku was tapping his feet impatiently and Hizashi had his usual poker face on. My brother, on the other hand, was sprawled on the ground, seemingly observing the sky.

Ren directed me to Minato's side, lightly tapping behind my knees and thus forcing me to sit down. He pointed his finger at my nose, looking all serious.

"Talk," he commanded in a no non-sense voice.

Fugaku snorted, crossing his bulky arms over his chest. I dutifully kept my eyes on them while the four Genin walked out of the training ground. After a minute or two of absolute silence, I decided to also lay down on the grass and watch the clouds passing by.

It was almost winter, but Konoha wasn't even chilly. It seemed like this year would be another hot one. It had snowed once when I was three, but most of the time we spent our Christmas (and why did this holiday even exist here?) eating popsicles instead of drinking hot chocolate.

"Ne, Mii-chan," Minato suddenly said and I was startled by the nickname. He hadn't me called that ever since I started calling him Onii-san as opposed to Onii-chan. "You're my baby brother."

I nodded in agreement. The word brother filled my insides with warmth and I relished in it.

"When this shinobi came to our house and told me that Dad was dead," he commented, "Strangely enough, my first thought was How am I going to Kumi? I was shocked by his death, of course, but I repeated in my head at least a million times How am going to look at my baby brother face and tell him that Daddy is dead?"

I couldn't breathe, for one silly reason or another. Minato had never opened up this way to me. He had always wanted to look perfect and proper, because in his mind, an older brother had to be like this. I never told him not to try so hard, because I was selfish and a twisted part of me liked to see someone trying so hard for me.

I wish I had told him how much he had done for me already.

"When I went back home all these years ago and saw you on the ground crying over Mom, my first thought was worrying if something had happened to you," Minato admitted, almost ashamed. "Mom was pale as a sheet and unconscious, but I only saw you crying."

I bit my lower lip.

I wanted to hear this.

I didn't want to hear this.

"You're my baby brother. When you were born, Mom and Dad brought you home and you were sleeping in their arms. I wanted to hold you, but you were so tiny and I wondered if you'd break if I hug you too tightly. I still wonder about it sometimes," he laughed, still not looking at me.

A heartbeat of silence.

"I tried my hardest to be the perfect older brother. I may be overprotective sometimes, and I get jealous of how much time you spend with your friends, and I want to be the first person to hear about your achievements, and I want to be there when you cry, and I can't..."

He sucked a breath in. I turned my neck toward him, surprised and not surprised to see tears glistening in his eyes. He'd probably been holding back ever since I started ignoring him.

"I can't handle the thought of being left by you. You're my baby brother. I love you more than anyone, more than anything. I don't know what I did and I don't know if I can make it right - but I need you to forgive whatever it was."

He finally turned to me. His eyes had never seemed so blue. I'd never felt so guilty.

"I need you to stay with me, Kumi, because if you don't, I don't know what I'm gonna do."

I had felt many things. It's hard to live two different lifetimes and not feel a lot of unique feelings. However, the guilty and the happiness and the sadness and the peace I felt that time had never come at the same moment before then, but I was glad they did. I was suddenly so glad I was alive to lay there crying with my brother and feeling many things.

Almost shyly, embarrassed by my childish rejection of him for all this months, I put my thin arms around his torso. Minato stopped shedding tears to look at me bewildered. I sighed, relived at the honesty of his statement. I realized that his point of view was what I needed. His reassurance of his love for me was what I needed, because I was simple like that.

"Mii-chan?"

"You did nothing wrong," I murmured against his collarbone, unable to look at his face now that I'd started talking. "You were perfect ever since I could remember and I was stupid. I was jealous, I guess, of how much time you spent with Kushina-san and worried, too."

"Eh?"

I tucked my head even more under his chin when he tried to shuffle away.

"You're my older brother," I told him. "I love when you pay attention me and care for me and take care of me, so I was insanely furious at how much time you spent with Kushina-san. I kept wondering if you wanted to share your afternoons with someone more talkative and funny. I know you have a crush on her - I was preoccupied with how this crush would evolve and if you'd spend less time with me."

I paused.

"When you were fighting in the Chūnin Exams, I kept thinking to myself Minato's got this. I was so sure you were going to make Chūnin," I admitted my silliness. "And then you simply gave up when you saw how injured Kushina-san was. I was furious with you, because you knew how much a promotion would help our economic situation. I felt as if you chose her over me and I felt so, so stupid for even feeling this way."

I breathed against his Chūnin vest. Even though he'd given up on that fight, the Sandaime had promoted him to Chūnin due to his succeful preivous fight and absolute perfection in the other parts of the Exam. Aburame Shibi, Nara Shikaku and my brother were the only ones to be promoted - and wasn't I immature? Wasn't I completely simpleminded to keep ignoring my brother despite his achievement?

Minato's arm wounded their way around my waist and he lifted me up to sit on his lap. I laid my head on his shoulder, appreciating the unexpected peace. We stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, pondering over each other's words.

A pair of lips pressed against my head.

"I am sorry for not realizing you felt this way," my brother told me. "It seems like we should have told each other about our feelings when we were first troubled by then instead of bottling them up."

I nodded in agreement.

"You don't have to be anyone but yourself, okay? I do like Kushina," he said, his cheeks aflame. I bit back a smile at the unusual sight, surprised by my lack of bitterness at his phrase. "But I'd never, ever want you to behave like someone else. You're my cute and quiet baby brother. Do you promise to stay true to yourself?"

As an I answer, I snuggled closer to him. Laughing, Minato laid back down.

"And I promise to stay with you forever."

I breathed his scent in, trying to memorize how his arms felt around me and the way his chest went up and down with each breath. Forever was a promise he'd never be able to keep, and we knew, but it seemed silly to disagree.

"I created my first seal," I said, strangely uncomfortable with the silence we fell in. I wanted to tell everything I had done these last months.

"Eh, really?!"

He started chatting a mile away and I managed to forget that Kushina even existed. I managed to forget, for a few moments, what the future held for us. I even managed to construct a bright happy ending as if the other, most probable one had never existed. The unfair thing about sad stories is that no one tells you they're sad - and you expect them to be happy.