Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. I do own Kumi, though.
Warning: child abuse and bullying (mostly mentions of it), some dark themes, too much fluffiness sometimes (each chapter less and less frequently, sorry!), DRAMA!, angst everywhere, unbeta'ed (frankly even unrevised most the time. Sorry, guys, I'm lazy.), my incapability to end a chapter in a happy note (I guess you're aware of this by now), a real rollercoaster of emotions.
Author's note:
... Hey...?
So. It's been a really long while since I last posted. Like a year - but, pfff, who's counting. Anyway. Even though it's been a year since I last posted a chapter, you guys have been so patient with me. All of you were so damn nice in your reviews - which kept coming even after months of inactivity(!)
Much like 2018, 2019 was a hard year for me. My life is mess, but I won't bore you guys with the details. I just wanted to say thank you for how amazing you guys are. Truly. Your reviews and PMs made me guilty for not writing more frequently, but not in a bad way. Like, you were encouraging and understanding of whatever I was going through, so I wanted to deliver, but couldn't. That why I just - thank you.
Anyway. About the chapter: it may answer some questions you've been hounding me about. AAAAND ShikaKumi interaction. We're getting closer, I swear.
I was so anxious to post it that I haven't even reread it to correct grammar or spelling or mistakes. So, don't mind them as there most certainly are some in there. Tomorrow I will correct them, for now enjoy.
TD;DR: You guys are amazing. I'm grateful for your patience. SHIKAKU'S POV, BABY! Enjoy the chapter.
A SPECIAL NOTE:
I created a Wattpad profile for those who use. As of now, there are only originals there. I would appreciate if you gave it a quick scroll through and left a comment of encouragement. Your words always make my day. My username is BrunaLCandido.
You may also find me at AO3 under the username of Amaryllis_Namikaze, in case your prefer that platform. All Things Are Difficult Before They Are Easy can be found there too, amongst other stories.
All Things Are Difficult Before They Are Easy
By Amaryllis D. Namikaze
Chapter XXIV:
The Scars
"One day you will be okay
you will be better than okay actually"
- Ishmahan Aden
Shikaku supposed he'd never stop getting surprised by Namikaze Kumi. Well, there was a reason the little guy was his favorite puzzle to solve - he hadn't solved it, him, yet.
As the team made their way to Kusagakure, Shikaku pondered over the information he'd received from the Hokage earlier that day. They wouldn't have to head to Grass Country's capitol, thank God, as their scroll was to be received by the kage of Kusagakure, instead of the Grass Daimyō. The hidden village was closer to their territory, while the capitol bordered Earth Country.
(Shikaku wasn't in the mood to get closer to Iwa-nin, no shit.)
If everything went according to plan, they'd be there and back with no distractions. Situation was getting tense all around the nations. One couldn't know who to count on. All major countries and villages were preparing for war, while minor ones were bracing themselves.
Of course the only ones who knew how dire the situation was were the Jōnin-ranked and above. No need to cause panic among masses, Shikaku supposed. Not that the smart ones hadn't noticed something amiss by now. Only a blistering, blind fool would think everything fine.
All of sudden, Kumi stopped jumping from branch to branch, which caused their entire team to come to a halt. Shikaku, from his point in the guard, could just barely see Chōza in the front, looking back over his shoulder, and Inoichi situated a few trees behind the Akimichi.
Kumi, of course, was a few meters in front of Shikaku. It was the best position for him - not too far in the back to sense enemy coming in his chakra field, but not too in the front to get distracted by which direction they should go.
"What is it?" Inoichi asked, confused.
Shikaku couldn't sense anything either, even expanding his senses with chakra as he'd been taught. Of course his hearing would never get as good as an Inuzuka's, or even a Hatake's, just by sending chakras to his ears, but it didn't hurt to be more alert.
Kumi stood from his crouched position. He seemed frustrated, but Shikaku could only guess at what. Maybe himself. He was that kind of guy, that much he knew.
"A shinobi went through my the outermost of my field," Kumi explained. "He was too far and went by too fast for me to get a read on him. It was probably just one of ours. Maybe ANBU."
Shikaku looked back the way they came, though he wouldn't be able to see anything different in the foliages just by wishing hard enough, as he heard Chōza ask, "You sure?"
Kumi shook his head.
"I'm sorry."
Shikaku knew how much Kumi was one to beat himself over his mistakes as his brother had gone on long rants about it many times. He tried to reassure the little guy by saying, "Don't mind. You can't know everyone's signature. Focus on making your field smaller - should be easier to concentrate."
As Kumi looked down, nodding in a despondent way, Shikaku realized how condescending he had probably sounded.
Well, what's done is done, he thought, even if I didn't mean it.
As they stopped that night to rest, well after they'd built a fire and catch a bird for dinner, Kumi approached each of them with a previously drawn on seal paper.
Shikaku analyzed his like one does a riddle.
"What's this for?" Inoichi questioned.
"For when it's your turn to keep watch," Kumi explained just as he handed Chōza his. "It's a modified sensor seal. Apply chakra to it every twenty-five minutes or so and you'll be fine."
Chōza looked at it in wonder.
"Really? Amazing. How does it work? Does it beep when an enemy gets close or what?"
Inochi guffawed as quietly as one can in the middle of the forest at night.
"Does it beep or what?" He repeated between snorts of laughter.
"Keep it down, you prick," Chōza shoved his teammate good-naturedly.
"BEEP!" He said and laughed himself silly some more.
Shikaku rolled his eyes at his best friends. He knew they were satisfied for now with this explanation, but he - like most of the time - was still curious. He'd spent many days in the company of his favorite cousin, but had never been interested in the intricacies of Fūinjutsu.
"If an enemy does get close, how would we be aware of it?" Shikaku decided to ask as Kumi sat beside him on the ground, munching on their scarce dinner.
Kumi blinked at him once, most likely surprised at his question.
(Shikaku couldn't fathom why. Surely the little puzzle was aware of how inquisitive he could be.)
(Noisy, Ionichi would call it. Shikaku would tell him to kindly shut his trap.)
"I don't really know how to explain it, 'cause it's how I feel when someone enters my chakra field. If it was the standardized seal, the one originally invented by the Uzumakis, it would simply light up like a flashlight," Kumi explained more thoroughly upon Shikaku's questioning gaze. "But mine simply make you feel the signature, I guess. It can tell you many things that you'd be able to pass back to me once I awake."
"Such as?"
"Well, if their chakra felt dry, or fleeting, or humid - you know, things I feel and that make me able to reason where this shinobi most likely is from."
How curious, Shikaku mused. Kumi could feel all that in his chakra field? No wonder he'd been so unsettled a few hours earlier.
"And we'd be able to feel all that even though we're not sensors and have basically no talent in this field?"
"Hey, who are you calling untalented, you jerk!" Inoichi's voice complained a few meters from them, on the other side of the campfire.
Shikaku ignored him. Kumi did the same after a moment of hesitance, a small complicit smile burgeoning on his face.
"Chita says it does feel exactly as I described, though his knowledge on sensing is basic at best. Sakumo-sensei, who did have that training, says it's much more advanced than what he was taught. Ren—" Kumi was saying, but stopped abruptly.
Shikaku could see him swallowing with difficulty. The chatter between Inoichi and Chōza was background noise, so he supposed neither of them had heard the youngest Yamanaka's name being mentioned. He waited for a minute before Kumi could continue.
"Ren said it was amazing that he could feel what I felt for a small moment, even if it was so brief." Kumi glanced down at the ground. "I..."
But he didn't continue and Shikaku didn't insist on the topic. He simply put a hand over the little guy's head and said, "It is."
"Huh?" Kumi said, confused, looking up between Shikaku's fingers.
"It is amazing."
Shikaku watched with some sort of wicked glee as Kumi blushed all shades of red. He could always count on that reaction, at least.
(For all that the little puzzle was surprising, he was surprisingly predictable. Sometimes.)
Yep, absolutely going to die from embarrassment before mission's done, I thought to myself as I laid down that night.
My cheeks were so red still, I was sure I could fry an egg on them. If Ren was here, he'd pester me until morning sunrays were over our heads. I could even hear his voice.
(Kumi-chan luuuves Shikaku! Kumi-chan luuuves Shikaku!)
What a child.
As I fell into an uncommonly easy slumber since Ren's death, I was reminded of the signature I had felt earlier that day in my chakra field. However, I was too far gone into sleep land to give it much thought other than "it didn't feel like fire".
I was rudely awakened by a shove from Chōza and a shout from Shikaku to "get ready!"
I gathered my weapons pouch in a flash, sleep gone from my eyes as if it'd never been there in first place. Instinctively, I expanded my chakra field as it came to life under my awakened state.
"I sense eight ninjas coming toward our direction from the west." I reported to Shikaku quickly. "Five of them feel dry and lingering, one feels humid and two seem dry and fleeting, is that correct?"
Shikaku sent me a look I couldn't decipher as I described exactly what my modified sensor seal should've told him. He nodded in agreement with my assessment.
"Five had Earth affinity, one is Water, the other two are Fire. Take care," I warned just as the first one ran into our makeshift camp.
Affinities could mean nothing in a fight, just as much as they could mean everything if you were fighting a Ninjutsu specialist. It never hurt to have too much information on your enemy, either way.
As I tackled on two of them at the same time, I wondered how eight Iwa-nin - judging by their headband - had managed to get this far into our territory. We were many, many kilometers away from our village, sure, but not that close to Grass Country, never mind Earth Country.
I risked a glance around our surroundings. Chōza was sufficiently away from me that he wouldn't accidently hit me should I disappear. Inoichi fought long-rang with his Gengjutsu, family techniques and weapons much like his brother did - used to do - that I knew how to avoid. Shikaku was mostly a mid-to-close range fighter who mostly focused on Taijutsu and Nara techniques.
I'd be fine if I disappeared, I supposed, as I dodged a claw to my neck.
(Damn weapons specialists. Who the looks at a claw on a chain and thinks "Wow, good weapon to cart around"?)
I had had my sensei's invisibility seal tattooed on my hip for exactly this type of situation.
A seal by itself was harmless on someone's body. The problem itself came if this person had no idea how to air-draw. A seal on your body meant that the chakra under it never stopped flowing, a dangerous fact indeed.
I had Suzaku-sensei's invisibility seal tattooed on my right hip and had trained like a madman to be able to use at the drop of a hat. I had promised myself that I wouldn't ever get caught in a situation where I couldn't reach my teammates in time again.
(Ren. Ren. Ren. Ren!)
(If I had been fast enough, if I had been sneaky enough, I...)
I activated the seal with a drop of my chakra. By now, air-drawing had become second nature and I could do it without much thought.
"Wha-!" the Iwa-nin in front of me exclaimed when I disappeared right under his nose. His teammate didn't seem to do better.
I glided behind the brown-haired one's back, snapping my forefingers to his nape, uttering "Raiton: Raihan no Jutsu! (Lightning Blades)". Like always, my most trusted technique struck true. The Iwa-nin felt like his strings had been cut.
Unfortunately, his teammate - claw, whatever was his name - could judge by then where I most likely was hiding. He sent his chain in my direction and, even though I could see it coming, I wasn't fast enough to dodge the claw that grasped my shoulder.
The intense pain made my concentration on the invisibility seal go up in smokes. I was exposed once again.
Claw-nin smiled.
"What do you think about giving up that scroll going on about alliance with Kusagakure, huh, sugar?" He sneered at me.
Great. Another person who thought I was a girl. No surprise. Really.
I brought my arms up and my hands together to form hand seals even though my wounded shoulder felt as if on fire. That goddamned claw probably had poison on it, I realized with a mix of irritation and horror.
"Katon: Gokākyū no Jutsu (Great Fireball)!"
A ball of fire five six times bigger than myself exploded from my mouth in a fine, controlled strand. It didn't hit Claw-nin, but it did strike a teammate of his who had been behind and held still by Shikaku's shadow jutsu.
"Thanks!" I called, just to be a little shit. Goading enemy ninjas into rage was kind of textbook behavior.
"My pleasure," Shikaku said with that annoying smirk of his, ducking under his enraged enemy plunging kunai. Well, it hadn't worked on my opponent, but our exchange had certainly worked on his. Good for him.
Claw-nin came closer, obviously realizing that I'd rather keep our fight mid-range and thinking I'd been in a pinch should he choose Taijutsu. He wasn't wrong - in a way.
Not only Taijutsu wasn't my strongest point - though not my weakest, by any measure - but I was wounded. My shoulder was aching so much by then that I felt as if my entire arm was on fire. There most certainly was poison on that claw.
(What was this situation I found myself in, anyway? Naruto was the only one supposed to be poisoned by a fricking claw. Naruto series having a laugh at me or what?)
I backed off a few steps and formed two quick hand seals (thank God I was adept at shortening techniques), "Suiton: Sandan no Jutsu (Scattering Bullets)!".
Water bullets exploded from my mouth, sharp as real bullets. They were no killer technique, though they hurt like a bitch (Chita's word, not mine), that much I knew.
Water release had been hard conquered these last months as iddle time had been my friend and enemy. I could do a couple of jutsu, nothing to write home about, but better than nothing I supposed.
Claw-nin wasn't quick enough to escape all of them. He grunted as one hit his right eyes, instantly making it bleed into a gory mess.
Gross.
"Fuck!" He shouted, clutching his face.
In a blind frenzy he sent his poisoned claw toward me. Right at that moment, my shoulder gave a throb that made me fall to my knees in pain. Whatever that poison was, it was fucking me up.
I had a brief millisecond to realize that I had to move! before a body planted itself in front of me, pushing me back. My eyes widened of their own accord.
"Shikaku!"
I saw from the corner of my eye Chōza finishing Claw-nin with a smashing punch from his gigatic form, but I was too busy focusing on Shikaku to notice much more. He toppled over like my enemies do once I've given them a taste of my Lightning Blades.
His face, I realized with dread. The claw had grazed his face. Two large cuts covered the right side of his face in a startlingly familiar way. I grabbed a roll of gauze from my pouch, trying to stop the bleeding in any way.
Shikaku, laying down as he was, turned his head towards me. His eyes were calm for someone who had been struck so close to the eyes. I knew I'd be asking if I would get blind or something.
"Poison?" He assessed. His eyes flickered towards my shoulder, where cloth had been torn and given way to blood and mangled skin.
I nodded, speechless at his aloofness.
Inoichi kneeled beside us a couple of seconds after this weird exchange. He was searching for something in his pouch with urgency.
"You two idiots!" He said, sounding exasperated rather than worried. "You dodge weapons from enemies, not plant yourself in front of them!"
Chōza, who had been busy gathering corpses into a pile to put in a gigantic coffin seal, snickered. Apparently, Inoichi swearing at Shikaku was no news in this team.
Who would have thought, though? The Nara heir was so composed most of the time. I'd never think him capable of stupid acts.
(Even though saving me wasn't a stupid act, in my opinion, thank you very much for asking.)
"Here, drink this," Inoichi passed me a vial with a clear liquid. I gulped it down withtout much thought as to what it could be. "It's an standard antidote. Let's hope that Iwa-nin used a common Iwa poison, or you guys are doomed."
Shikaku let out a laugh at that comment. I was startled. Even though I'd heard him laugh before, it wasn't a sound I was completely used to hearing every day.
Chōza helpfully bandaged my shoulder for me, as I couldn't quite do it by myself, while Inoichi dabbed a cotton at Shikaku's cuts with a chiding expression.
"Is it safe?" Shikaku asked as a dab of the cotton made him close his eyes in a wince.
I nodded, looking up from analyzing my wounded shoulder. I could feel it in my storage seal, just on inside of my wrist under my glove. It was as safe as it could be.
"They could've killed me and not have found it," I added, to reassure them that I was the right person for this mission.
Shikaku put his hand over my head for the second time that night.
"No more talks about dying."
Inoichi decided to pipe in as I felt my entire face warming up.
"Our job is to protect you, Kumi-chan. Trust us."
I was about to reply that I didn't need protection before I remembered Shikaku's words at Konoha's gate.
Hokage-sama explicitly told us not to let you die. You're a Seal Master now.
I was a precious piece to this game of war. More than a pawn, I gathered. It pleased me as much as it didn't to be valuable. Of course protection was nice. I had died once. I knew how it felt. I quite liked my life here and wasn't ready to depart as I had previously been.
However, I didn't want my protection to come at the expense of my brother and my friends. My teammates. I hadn't had a reason to live in my last life. Sister and Father weren't enough - they were the reason why I hadn't minded dying in the first place.
Now. Now I couldn't bear it. I didn't want to die again, but I couldn't bear having another die for me. Not when I knew what it felt like.
I didn't say any of this. They weren't here to listen to my tears and sob story.
I simply nodded in thanks. Inoichi and Chōza accepted it easily enough. They began gathering our things from the destroyed campfire. It was early to start our day, but we couldn't stay here anymore.
Shikaku, on the other hand, stole another look at my face before acquiescing. His cuts glaring at me from his face reminded of his scars on the Naruto series. They had been his most blatant features as a character from a show.
Now they were just a reality.
It made my presence in this world feel concrete. I was part of it, for sure, but had I really changed anything yet?
The rest of our trip to Kusagakure was uneventful.
Inoichi had been thankfully right about which poison Claw-nin had used on us. My shoulder stopped throbbing painfully a couple of hours after ingesting the antidote, even it gave twinges now and then from the movement of running.
Hopefully, a medic-nin from Kusagakure would be willing to take a look at it.
We delivered our package to the Kusakage with no other surprises. Kobayashi Kazuo was tall, built like a brick wall, but obviously gaining on his years. I could see why he'd be anxious to secure a definite alliance before war had even been officially declared.
He was getting older while the world was getting bigger. The guy was just trying to guarantee a future for his people. Either way, Kobayashi-san was polite enough to host us for a couple of days while we rested our mission off and our wounds healed. My shoulder wasn't sparkling new when we departed Kusagakure, but it didn't hurt anymore at least after two sessions of healing chakra from a medic-nin.
I was starting to think everything would be fine when we finally arrived back in Konoha. It was a sunny day, like most tend to be in Fire Country, when we entered the Hokage's office to report our success.
"Ah," Sarutobi-sama made when he saw our team entering from his doorway. His expression was unusually serious. "I trust your delivery was success."
Something in his tone told me that it better have been a success, which was really unusual. By now, a cold feeling had started seeping in my gut. Standing behind Shikaku, I saw his shoulders stiffen. So he'd most likely noticed Hokage-sama's tone too.
"Alliance scroll was successfully delivered to the Kobayashi Kazuo, Hokage-sama. We found a team of Iwa-nin on our way, but they were swiftly disposed of with minor wounds. Chōza delivered the scroll containing their bodies to Intelligence just as is protocol."
Our leader nodded, appearing relieved.
"Good." His eyes swept over the room, observing us. He took notice of Shikaku's healing cuts. I knew they would become scars on his face, but for now they were just scabbed wounds. Then he turned towards me. "All of you are dismissed, except for Kumi. Rest."
"Hai, Hokage-sama," the Ino-Shika-Chō trio said as one, bowing at the waist and disappearing in a windmill of leaves. Shikaku game a parting look which I couldn't decipher.
Sarutobi-sama gestured towards the chair in front of him, "Please, Kumi-kun, sit."
I did so. I was getting more antsy at each passing second. What was this feeling in my stomach? Had something happened to my brother? Or Kakashi? I had only been away for a week. What could have gone wrong in that time?
Chitarō hadn't been gone in a mission. He'd been reinstated like me, but not sent in a mission yet. My brother was free this week, I knew, only busy with Kakashi's training. Kakashi was still a Genin, for God's sake, he had D-ranked missions to keep him occupied.
Which left—
"Kumi-kun," Hokage-sama started. "I must warn you of a fact that has come to my attention this week."
Which left Sakumo-sensei, who had gone away a couple of days before me on a mission.
"Usually, I wouldn't bother saying this to a third party. However, as I know you are a primary caretaker of Kakashi, as well as your brother as his teacher, I felt fit to say it to you."
Oh, God.
"While you went to Kusagakure, I had sent Hatake Sakumo to a mission with an ANBU team. The details as of now are of no importance. However, it bears saying that Sakumo has failed his mission. A mission he could not fail."
A bucket of cold ice fell over my head.
All this time I'd thought that maybe our mission had been the mission. The Uchiha Kizoku retrieval mission had been what set off the war in the series. The one in which Ren died.
(It gave meaning to Ren's death. It hadn't been a meaningless death. He'd died to prevent the start of a war. But his death had been just that - a death.)
I had relaxed in a way. I'd keep telling myself that Ren died, but Sakumo-sensei had gotten more time.
Except—Except my teacher hadn't gained more time. He'd been inching closer and closer to his canonical destiny while I breathed and cried.
Hokage-sama kept talking, explaining the repercussions of this failure, but I barely heard him anymore. I knew what this failure meant. It meant war. It meant more deaths. Blood. Hunger. Pain.
All because my teacher had decided that his teammate's life was more important than a goddamned fucking mission. A teammate, I suddenly remembered from the Naruto series, that wouldn't even thank him for it. The ungrateful pig.
Kakashi's name brought me back to Earth.
"Kakashi doesn't know, of course, but rumors have already spread through the village. I will officially declare war on Earth Country next week, though most shinobi are already aware of it."
I nodded in a daze. Canon was coming to life right under my fingers. I hadn't been planning to stop the war from happening - I had hoped for more time.
Like Shikaku's scars, it seemed that this war was inevitable to the series.
(But my life wasn't a manga! It was real! It was painful!)
(What was I supposed to do? I was just a guy.)
(Was my brother going to die no matter what?)
"Kumi-kun," Hokage-sama called me to attention when he saw that I was drifting away. "I told you this so that you can care for Kakashi. He has a bright future ahead of him in spite of this war. I trust you - and your brother, of course - to care for and aide him in times that I am sure will be difficult for him."
Hokage-sama paused, minding his next words.
"I love this village. It is my home. But not all of our people can be sensible at all times. Sometimes, fear makes people do unspeakable things - things I expect you to protect Kakashi-kun from."
"Yes, Hokage-sama."
He gave me a brief smile, even though his face screamed tiredness all over, "Of course, I fathom that you would do so whether I asked or not."
"Yes, Hokage-sama."
"Well, go on. Rest. Let's leave tomorrow's problems to tomorrow."
(But tomorrow would come. And what was to be of me, then?)