Lena busied herself with the past week's neglected paperwork, but still managed to get it all done before dark. She wondered how just a week ago she would have taken days to do this work, yet now she'd completed the lot in an afternoon. Caoimhe slept by the fire or under her desk, but was now wanting to go out again. Lena wondered if Caoimhe had noticed that change of routine, or if the dog was just happy to do whatever she was doing.
Lena stood up and closed the curtains, placed the letters on the front table to remind herself to take them to the post office in the morning, then called to Caoimhe to take the dog out into the back garden for a little run. While Caoimhe chased the bird out of the garden and did her business, Lena stood by the door, wrapping her cardigan tightly around herself to try and keep off a bit of the evening chill. The past week, she'd have only been returning home around now from an afternoon of cards with the Danvers sisters. Lena wondered what they were doing now.
"Come on, Caoimhe!" she called, and the dog came bounding back inside, leading Lena back to her study. Lena put another log on the fire and turned on the lamps. Her office was decorated in fashionable art-deco style, with a number of pieces from Paris. Glorious, glistening Paris, to which she could never return, besides which was now occupied by the Nazis.
"How could you?" Lena asked the photo of her family which sat on her desk. It was from years ago, she was only about eight in the photo, with thick dark ringlets, a great big bow in her hair, and a very lacy dress. Lex was a young man in a smart suit, his hair rapidly thinning. Her father and step-mother were there too, but Lena never directed her questions at them. They never had much time for her. She sat down behind the desk, looking at the photo. Lex had never really cared, none of them had, but at least he'd paid attention to her, though that attention always came with strings attached. The luckiest she'd ever been was that her father was willing to claim her as his own and let her carry the Luthor name. Or so she'd though.
"Did you ever care?" she asked Lex in the photo. "At all? Even a tiny bit? Because you have left me ruined. Why did you go? What possible personal gain do you think you can get out of this?"
The picture didn't answer.
"I should tell them," Lena muttered. Caoimhe stood beside her, her head resting in Lena's lap. Lena stroked her ears. "Tell them everything about you. They work for the British government, you know. They'd know people, people who can - " Lena stopped mid-sentence, not knowing what she'd want people to do for her. She wasn't even sure what she wanted of the Danvers sisters.
Lena sighed. "Damn you, Lex," she said, standing up to get herself a drink. There were rumours that tea was going to be rationed, but at least there was no such talk regarding alcohol. The Waterford Crystal glassware glittered in the lamp-light as Lena gulped back the Irish whisky. She poured herself a second glass, self-doubt, loneliness, and anger mingled with the liquid courage. Everyone in the village knew what Lex had done, along with anyone who was anyone in all of Ireland. Everyone knew the Luthors. And no one cared for them. Not for her. Not really. Not until the Danvers sisters washed up out of the ocean. Lena swirled her drink.
"Did you think you could leave me here all alone? Abandon me?" Lena asked the photo. "I'm not alone. Not now. I'll tell them everything I know about you. You chose to leave me, so I'm choosing them. You get whatever fate you have coming."
…
Kara had had a short nap, but she'd mostly just spent the afternoon lying around feeling sorry for herself and dwelling on worst-case scenarios. She'd let memories fill her head, the firestorm in London a few weeks ago, all the people and property she hadn't been able to save, the panic at losing Alex in the waves, seeing Alex clinging to the rocks, and horrible, imagined visions of finding Alex lifeless under a pile of rubble, or knowing her sister was just out of reach, and that no matter what, Kara would never be able to get to her in time.
Mary had brought up their dinner at exactly 6 o'clock; Kara had picked at her share, while Alex had eaten hers with gusto. Her appetite was returning, and she was starting to feel a bit stir-crazy.
"I think I need some air," Alex said.
"Do you want to go for a walk or open the window?" Kara asked.
"A walk, silly," Alex said.
"But it's cold and dark," Kara said, lying back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"Please? Just a short walk. And when we get back, we can have a hot bath and put on our own nighties."
Kara sighed and stood up. Even though she was still feeling out of sorts, there was little she wouldn't do for Alex. "Fine, if you're feeling up to it. But I don't feel well enough to carry you back if you collapse."
"I'm not going to collapse. And when I say I don't know if I can make it very far, I mean let's just cross the road to the shore, then see if I want to go further."
"Well, you'd better rug up. And you wear the coat, I'll ask Lena tomorrow if she has another one."
"You won't get cold?" Alex asked.
"You know I don't," Kara said. "Can you put on your own shoes, or do you need a hand?"
"I think I'm going to need a hand, with the buttons too," Alex confessed, looking at her still-bandaged hands. The wounds were healing and the swelling subsiding, but her fingers and hands still felt stiff and sore and her movements were clumsy.
Ten minutes later they set off into the darkness, a couple of stars shining through the clouds, and the moon casting silver light on the waves as clouds passed quickly overhead.
"It is certainly fresh outside," Alex said, popping up the coat-collar. Her legs were stiff and going down the stairs had been tough, but she breathed in gulps of the salty sea air, and loved how the wind blew her hair about.
"This was your idea," Kara said, grateful for the cold, fresh air. They crossed the road to the beach, Alex holding onto Kara's arm to keep her balance.
"It's so quiet," Alex said. The only sounds were the waves tumbling in, and the ever-persistent wind. There were no blackout regulations in Ireland, so the few streetlights in the village were shining. Clouds had once again covered the sky, but the light from the lighthouse made enough shadows to help them safely make their way. "No sirens, no alarms, no planes, no cars, no trains."
"It's nice," Kara said, "It's like Midvale."
"It is," Alex said, as the slowly walked towards the pier. They got a quarter of the way when Alex stopped. "That's enough. Sit down for a minute."
Kara sat down on the stony beach and leant into Alex's shoulder. "I think we need to tell Lena," she said quietly, the waves and wind almost drowning out her words.
"I know," Alex replied, "I was thinking the same thing. If there's kryptonite here, we need to know. If Lex knows about it and how to use it, we need to know. If he knows about you or Clark - "
"Then we really need to know," Kara said.
"Do you think it's in the lighthouse?"
"Yes," Kara said, "But I can't go back. I - "
"I understand," Alex said, "I'll go."
"You can't walk that far."
"I didn't say I was going now. Give me a few days or a week. As a medical professional, I am upgrading myself from bedridden to convalescing. I'll go with Lena. The way she talks, she knows a lot more about science and engineering that your average monied landowner."
"She is very clever," Kara said.
Alex nodded, looking out to sea. She wrapped her arm around Kara. "I don't love it, but we've reached the point where we just have to trust her with everything and hope for the best."
"I have faith in her," Kara said.
"I know."
"You think I trust too easily. That I see the world through rose-coloured glasses."
"You do," Alex said, playfully nudging Kara, "But I love that about you, and I love that despite all the horrors we've seen over the past few months, you haven't lost that."
Kara smiled, feeling at tiny bit more hopeful. "Now that you're up and about, does that mean we have to go back?"
"Kara, walking barely a block from the hotel does not have me considering that I am well enough to return to work."
"Some people would."
"Well, I'm not those people, am I?"
"Good," said Kara softly, looking out at the ocean. On a night like tonight, she thought, Alex would have been able to swim to shore. The waves were dumping near the shore, but there were far from the monstrous swell they were the week before. Then Alex wouldn't have been sick and hurt, and Kara wouldn't have come nearly so close to losing her. The memory of holding Alex's cold, dripping body in her arms made her stomach tighten. Kara could feel Alex's body-heat despite their layers of clothing. Alex was here.
"Kara?"
"Mmm?"
"I think you're going to have to pull me to my feet, because it is freezing and my muscles are seizing up, and I would really like that hot bath and my own clothes right now. And maybe a nice restorative sip of something."
Kara chuckled and stood up, pulling Alex to her feet. "You sure you don't need me to carry you? I can if you really need me to."
"Positive," Alex said, brushing the sand off the coat. "And Kara, don't let it weigh you down. None of this is your fault, and just because something makes you ill, that doesn't make you a weak or bad person. If there is kryptonite, it explains a lot. Everything, actually."
"How do you always know what I'm thinking?" Kara mumbled, taking Alex's arm.
"Because I know you," Alex said, "And I know that you've been feeling lousy and miserable this afternoon, and it's all right to have afternoons like that. Whole weeks if you need to, especially given the circumstances. Just know that I will always take those hope-filled rose-coloured glasses when you feel you can't wear them."
"That is a heaps better pep-talk that H's letter," Kara said.
Alex leant over and gave Kara a kiss on the cheek. "I love you too."