Robbie fell asleep with a contented smile on his face. He had left the TV on yet again. The poor dear had been all worn out from the day of cleaning. I'd never seen Robbie work so hard in my life. He worked at being a villain, that was certain but to work hard at anything outside of villainy was astoundingly rare.
I had no idea he was capable of doing so much in one day.
I suppose he worked no less in a day pursuing Sportacus.
"Good shoes, Good shoes".
he half murmured in his sleep.
" No Sportacus.No Sportacus. I decree that Sportacus leave Lazy Town Forever. I mean forever yes For- ever."
He must have been a having a good dream, a very good dream indeed.
" Oh Luciana. Don't go, Don't go. Stay, stay, please stay...a little bit longer. Wait! Don't come! Don't come in! I'm not ready! No, don't touch that! Yes thank you. Yes Robbie can dance. Robbie will dance. Robbie loves to dance...all the time.
Extra fries please.
Does this dress make my hips look too big?These...these heels...are absolute murder. Give me a massage...please. Hey get out of my closet! Mother I'm not going to eat that! I'm on a...a special diet. I don't eat anything and I mean anything green. Feed it to the dog. Well send it to China,Mama. I'm going over to Lucy's. I can't stay here, I won't stay. I can't stand being in this house. Stop fussing. Stop fussing over me. Lucy you understand me. I don't want to be healthy, I want to be me. I don't wanna go to law school. Please not Harvard mother. I'd rather go to Juilliard. Send me to Juilliard, Mother.
No, I'm not going. You can't make me!
I'm warning you. I'll leave home! I'll join the circus, you'll see. Yes, yes Lucy will be joining me. Yes we'll be home before 10:00. Yes I'm skipping P.E today. I have a note from my doctor...right here. Are you going to eat that? I love cafeteria food. I wish I had extra fries".
I want to laugh but somehow I can't find the laughter in me. Maybe I don't have a sense of humor. I guess there are just too many things on my mind. Honestly he's the only thing in my mind. He has been so depressed lately and I just worry about him. I really thought I knew my master but over the past few days I've become less and less certain. I'd began to question my present knowledge of him. Of course I loved him for who he was. I'd love him regardless of his past. I'd love him even if he wasn't a villain anymore Still I wondered what he was before all this villainy. Was it actually possible that Robbie wasn't always a villain? Could be possible it be possible that Robbie was once a good guy? Wasn't he a extraordinary nastiness machine?
I blame myself for being so assumptious.
I assumed I knew everything there was to know about him since I've been a proverbial fly on the wall for so long.
I forgot that Robbie has many layers as well as many sides to his person. He's not just a one dimensional person
Most people are 3 dimensional, Robbie as you know isn't like most people, so I believe Robbie has 4. Maybe he has a fifth dimension to personality that I'm not aware of. He is a immensly complex individual.
Most of Lazy Town thought he was just a reclusive grump, when Robbie is really so much more. He's not just a grouch, he's a villain with pizzaz.
Yes he enjoys a lazy lifestyle but that doesn't mean he was meant to be lazy.
Just because he wants to be lazy dose not necessarily mean he is a lazy person. Yet you probably know all that. I've seen the many times he's vowed never move a muscle but every single time he's broken his oath of complete lethargy. I don't mean to be a drag like that Sporty fellow in blue but his beautiful body was made for movement.
He may not be the most graceful at times never less he has the moves of super star. Seriously, Robbie should have been a model. He loves to dress up and he has that overly touchy and egotistical air that would be perfect for that kind of lifestyle.
Yes Robbie has an ego. He's not a humble person. I'm okay with that. His ego doesn't bother me. I have airs of my own.
I love how Robbie marches right into every situation, it doesn't matter what situation, he exudes this peculiar confidence. Wherever he goes, he responds to life in a feisty fashion. He's funky, he's fashionable in whatever he wears and he emanates real attitude. The kind of attitude that means nobody can touch you. The I don't care what you think attitude. So Robbie is a very sassy boy.
Thankfully he has made very few enemies in the world with this sassy attitude of his. He has even less since Sportacus and the rest of those trouble makers left Lazy Town. The beautiful silence of his lair was disrupted by a rare and unexpected sound, the sound of the telephone. Robbie gasped in bewilderment. There was nothing so absolutely unbearable for Robbie as being awakened from his slumber too suddenly. He hacked out a guttural moan.
"This better be important". he growled behind gritted teeth.
"Hello".
"Is this Robbie?"
" Yes I was the last time I checked". he wittily remarked back.
" So this really is the Robbie Rotten?"
"Yes it is I. Look I don't who you are but I was just in the middle of somewhat decent dream when you called me. So my brain isn't even awake yet and I'm really really not in the mood for conversation. So please just state your name and your
business, when I say business I mean for you to give the reason your calling. The sooner you tell me the sooner I can get back to sleep!"
" You really are Robbie aren't you? You haven't changed much and I'm glad so to hear it."
"Look I already told you that I was. What else do you want from me?! Who is this?!"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so mysterious. This is Lucy. I haven't t
talked to you in what feels like forever. You see I heard you called so I thought it would be nice if I called you back. I apologize for calling you at such a bad time. I didn't mean to disturb you-"
"Oh no, no, no you didn't disturb me." Robbie interjected.
"I'm already disturbed yet thank you for your concern."
I could hear the pleasant sound of soft laughter on the other line.
" I really had no idea were asleep. Do you wish for me to call you at another time?"
"Another time? No, no, no there's no need to do that. I'm the one that should be sorry. I mean, I wasn't...what's the word..
oh yes I wasn't very nice.".
"Its perfectly alright. You have no reason to apologize. I quite understand. I'm a little slow myself in the mornings, so I've been there. I'm not much of a morning person either. I'm more of a night owl, you know."
Robbie chuckled softly. Why was he being so civil? Nobody disrupts Robbie without getting a good tongue lashing. Robbie is a fearsome and formidable force to be dealt when he doesn't get enough sleep. Why was he making an exception with her? What made her so special?
"Just out of curiosity how did you get this number? Why...Why did ...you call me at all?"
" I have my ways. The reason I'm calling is I just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking of you".
"Thinking of me?"
his voice almost squeaked.
" Why is that so surprising? You were my very best friend. You were a friend to me when nobody else was. You were my real anchor when I had nothing to hold onto. You heard my voice when no one listened. You were my Rock, Robbie.
You gave me such strength whenever I was down. Whatever I was experiencing in my life you always knew just what to say to me. You were always so reliable. You always knew how to make me laugh. I guess what I'm trying to say is I miss you. I miss the fun we used to have. I miss spending time with you."
Was she talking about the same person? The Robbie she was illustrating was sweet, kind, loyal and loving. Robbie was none of these things. She must have the wrong Robbie. She must have chosen the wrong number in the phonebook. This must be another Lucy, a different Lucy that doesn't know him. Whoever this person was obviously doesn't know Robbie in the slightest. She must be absolutely clueless.
" That was a long time ago, Lucy. I'm not that super loyal and ever reliable Robbie anymore. I'm different now. Look I know we were friends and I'm glad you remember me. Really I'm flattered but I can't...I just can't be that person for you anymore. I don't know if you've gotten the latest update yet...but I'm sort of a villain right now".
"Yes I know. I've gotten the latest update and from what I've seen you've made quite a name for yourself. I don't want to come off too weird but I've followed your career quite extensively. I must say you've certainly been a busy man".
"Wow. Okay. This whole villain thing doesn't bother you?"
"No not in the slightest".
"Ok- kay. I'm not going to get rid of you that easy am I?"
" Nope and you never will. Real friends never leave you. Real friends stick with you for life."
"You mean they stick around forever?" Robbie voice became hushed and thoughtful.
" Yes Robbie forever and all time. I know it's been a long time and I know I haven't exactly been around but I just wanted you to know Robbie that I've always been your friend and I've never stopped".
Robbie remained silent for quite some time. He swept the crust out of his eyes
and blinked a few times. His eyes couldn't have gotten any wider. This wasn't what he had expected to hear. He had expected mother like lecture perhaps or some quick little speech of disgust. He'd done some pretty despicable things afterall. Wouldn't disgust be the natural reaction?She wasnt reacting at all.What was wrong with this girl? She was responding with understanding and compassion. What did I know of compassion? All I knew was if this girl was so pure and good willed she would stay away from men like Robbie. This Little Miss Perfect better keep her distance from Robbie period.
" Are you still there?"
Lucy called out to him.
"What? Oh yes, I'm still here. I just- I just - I was just thinking and I was just surprised, that's all. You know taken aback. It's a good thing I'm sitting down you know".
Robbie nibbled slightly on his knuckles.
" I'm that shocking am I?"
"You? Shocking? Never. This call is just a bit unexpected".
" When I learned that you had called that was unexpected. I was hoping that...how do i say this...that we could meet up somehow".
"Meet with me?". He had just snubbed her. He had just told her off at least I thought he did. Boy this girl wouldn't give up.
" Yes I was thinking we could get together. Maybe I could visit you. Would that be alright?"
"Mhmmm".
"That means what exactly?"
" I mean yes. It's fine. I'm fine. Oh I don't know. If you want to come visit, I certainly won't stop you".
"You certainly don't sound fine. Are you sure you're alright?".
" Me? Sure? I'm not sure about anything right now and I'm far from alright. Let's face it I'm in a pretty foul mood. Would you believe me of I told you that I'm sort of in retirement right now?"
" No, never. You must be joking. You're not even that old. You're still young Robbie. Robbie, what's wrong?"
"Everything is wrong. My whole life is wrong. Oh phooey, Sportacus is gone".
"Really? Where'd he go?"
" How on earth am I supposed to know?He didn't even tell even me.He just left.I mean can you believe that this is the same guy that claimed he was my friend?"
" I'm so sorry Robbie. He didn't leave a note?"
"No,not that I know of. It was just flipity flip then poof! he was gone just like that. He kind of left in a hurry. That man is always in a hurry to get somewhere. if you ask me I think he's running from something that's why he can't sit still for even a minute. Now he's gone, no one will ever know. So the mystery of the blue man continues."
Lucy laughed at Robbie's last remark.
" Well, he must not have truely been your friend, Robbie. It sounds as if you're more on vacation than in retirement. Tell me are you sure you're up to having some company?"
" Vacations are far too exspensive. Vacations are usually taken outside the home. I usually don't venture too far from home. I'm kind of a homebody. So it's really not much of a vacation."
"You know what? Vacations should never be done alone. So maybe I could join you on this little vacation."
" Hehehe. Well that's rather a tall order at this time now, mam, but there may be a opening available... shall we say sometime next week. However if you call again I may be able to fix you with a more specific time".
Lucy laughed yet again.
" Well in that case I shall call you tomorrow"
"Oh yes of course madam please do".
" I hope you catch up on your sleep, Robbie".
" Sleep? You've got to be kidding me! I'm wide awake now! Who needs sleep? I don't think I'll even sleep a wink now. I refuse to sleep until I've heard from you again".
" Robbie, please there's really no need to lose any sleep over me. I'll call you soon enough and I'll be there even sooner if you wish me to. Just sit back and relax. Watch some TV. Do whatever it is that you normally do on a regular basis".
" Wait so you really want to come here to Lazy Town so you can visit me?"
" Yes of course I do Robbie. I understand if you said no. You have every right. I really don't wish to intrude".
"No you-you- you wouldn't be intruding at all in any way".
There was desperation in his voice now and his voice quivered slightly.
" I mean it's not as if I have a busy schedule or anything. Are you sure you want to come?"
"Yes Robbie I'm sure. I'm not planning to visit Milford, I'm planning to visit you. I'll talk to you tomorrow okay?"
"Okay. I can't wait to hear from you, bye".
" Goodbye Robbie".
Robbie's face went from a pinkish red to a royal purple.
Was he going to be sick?
He practically kept from his chair. He threw out his knee up as far as it could go and simultaneously pointed his toes. Then he literallys he lept into the air. Great, he was doing a dance move. This was not going to end well. He of course nearly fell on his face, he nonetheless was completely oblivious to the pain. He was all sprawled out, flat out on his stomach laughing like a madman.
" She's coming, she's coming, she's coming". he chanted in a sickening sing song voice.
" I need to mop before she gets here. A mop, a mop, a mop. Ah there it is".
He mopped every inch of the lair, he even mopped the walls. Robbie had a real tendency to overdo things.
Instead of grumbling he hummed to himself.Sometimes he would even sing a few of the words out loud.
"I'm the master of disguise I can vanish before your eyes". he sung in his rich baritone voice.
" Oh sometimes it's so nifty when I'm really really shifty. It's disguise time." he announced.
"Oh disguise time used to be my favorite time of the day but now with Sportacus gone I have all these disguises and no place to go. Not that there is any place to go. May- be I should try one of them on. No don't time for any of that. Maybe I should throw them away. No I've thrown enough stuff away. Then I'll have to make another public appearance just to take yet another trip to the garbage. I could always donate them. No that's too charitable. Yuck! Robbie Rotten is many things but he is not in any way charitable. Maybe. I have a yard sale, only I don't have a yard but I could always sell my clothes for money. Only who would want some has been's clothes. Never mind I'm keeping them and that's final.
The Robbie Rotten has spoken".
Robbie followed that with a cunning cackle.
" She says "Do what you normally do Robbie". ' She must be teasing me. Seriously she must be joking. How can she expect me to do anything normally especially when I'm not not even normal myself. Oh quiet Robbie. Just can it! All she told you to do was relax and watch TV. Just do the same old That's all I ever do is laze about and watch TV and that's so boring! I want to be lazy only I can't!"
Robbie squawked.
" I won't, I can't and I shan't.How can I manage to do the same old things when I know she's coming here. What's even better is she actually wants to come and she doesn't hate me afterall. She actually remembers me...fondly. I'm not a fond memory to anyone except of course maybe to my mother but that's another story. How can I say no? How am I to refuse her? I could never say no to her
Queenie, she's not the bossy type. She's the perky what do you want to do today kind of girl. Not perky like that pink haired nightmare. She's a little bit more mellow than that. She was never the cheer leader kind of girl. She was one of those girls who would always share her candy with me, even if all she had were two pieces of the stuff, she'd give me one. At the school cafeteria every week she would have a side of fries but she would never get a chance to even touch them because she'd always give them to me. She didn't have to be nice to me, she just was. I neve understood it. She gave me her company, her loyalty and her kindness while gave her nothing. Well I gave her my milk and few of my mothers cookies. Loved the cookies, hated the milk. It was one of those things that I don't think should be together but other than that I never gave her anything else.
I could have at least bought her a box of chocolate, some terribly, bright,cheery flowers or some sort of sparkly jewelry. I wasn't the thoughtful type. I wasn't
the romantic type either. Plus I was just a kid, so romance was the last thing on my mind. The point is our family had money, we weren't destitute. I could afford to spoil her with gifts and other expensive stuff. Mother would have been happy.She would have been overjoyed. Now Lucy's family was poor. They were practically Paupers. Lucy herself was almost a orphan. Her mother was rarely home,she always off at work and her father was nowhere to be seen. Regardless she never complained, she always appeared to be happy. She must have been really good at hiding all those emotions. She must have been good at holding all of them inside. I can't hide anything, I have to let it all out. I wear my emotions on my face at all times no matter what. I was even worse when I was around her. I could never hide anything from her. Let's face it Queenie I'm a terrible friend. I never even wrote her a letter.At least Sportacus had the decency to write me one.
Arghh! This is one the reasons I don't have any friends. You have to be in constant connection with someone in order to be their friend. Sportaflop doesn't count. I didn't have any friends before SportaSpot came either.
Now that she's come into the picture, claiming I'm her greatest friend of all time I'm all warm smiles and charm. How can this be happening to me. I'm not warm, I'm definitely not loyal and I'm certainly not friendly. I'm not even kind!
I'm Robbie Rotten and I'm the greatest and the meanest, most despicable villain of all time. Regardless I really want her to come. Regardless of how incredibly fiendish I am, I greatly wish her stay here to be as enjoyable as possible. I know I'll bake a cake and I'll try not eat any of it. Oh forget it, a little slice wouldn't hurt. I'm sure she wouldn't mind".