Robbie eventually went back to sleep. He had turned on the TV just like Lucy had advised. He often fell asleep with the TV on.

" World class villain Vinnie Vile opens up to the public for the first time. He claims he's made alot of wrong turns in his life and he has more than a little regret about them. Vinnie is now leading a reformed life and has currently given up his old life of crime. He told Intellect reporters this morning that he actully has a daughter who he hopes he can be reunited with soon." Bantered a newswoman on TV all clothed in red.

"He claimed he would come visit her as often as he could but now looking back he realized it wasn't enough."

A man with sleeked back hair and long aquiline nose spoke morosely to the newswoman.

"She was always a beautiful child. I greatly wished she knew how much I cared for her. She probably has no idea how much love I had for her. From the moment we met and she was placed in my arms all those barriers I had placed around my heart melted away and I had this love that I had never had before. This love was abounding and overflowing. I couldn't stop it from coming in.I am greatly looking forward to meeting her again. There is so much I want to tell her, I just hope she's willing to listen".

The story moved onto another.

" Stephanie Meanswell announces her engagement to Ziggy Zweet". another newscaster came on to announce.

Robbie woke up with a shreik.

" What?!!! Why must they torture me still?!" Robbie yelped as he arose from his chair to turn off the TV in such a hurried fashion he nearly fell and tripped on the corner of his blanket.

Robbie had a bed but for some sily reason he never used it. So every night he ended up falling asleep in his chair out in what could only be called a livingroom. This particular part of the lair appeared to be the only part he used. I hadn't seen the rest of his lair. All I was accustomed to was seeing that one room cause I couldn't go anywhere else! I could see his disguises on proud display, all enclosed in individual plexiglass tubes lined up in five rows behind him. He was wearing his maroon, purple and gold striped pajamas with the matching robe and night cap.

He looked absolutely adorable.

" Oh I need to wake up anyway. Wake up, Wake up Robbie. You're are expecting a phone call.

You don't have to worry about that pink tornado and that pathetic cookie boy any longer. I mean haven't they been together forever anyway? No matter. I really don't want to know. All I want to know is when Lucy is going to come.

Wait, Lucy doesn't know when she's coming.

Uh Oh! I'm supposed to tell her today.

I'll just tell her to come as soon as possible. No that's not specific enough. Oh why did I agree to this? I should have just told her to stay away. Yes that's what I'll do; next time she calls which I hope she does sometime soon, I'll tell I don't want her here. I've changed my mind Lucy. It's just not going to work out.

No, don't come to Lazy Town whatever you do. It's sooo boring here. They'll be nothing for you to do here. Nobody has any fun around here in Lazy Town. No smiling, no laughing, no fun and absolutely no sports and no dancing. Nobody dances, not even me. I mean come on, this town is so small you have to use a a magnify glass just to find it on the map. It's so small it's practically microscopic. There's not even a decent hotel around here. This town is not a tourist stop. People usually come here by mistake. They make a wrong turn and then end up here. No one goes out of there way to find this place unless of course they want to move here. There's always the mayor's old place. He has a room available yet nobody's stayed in that place since that pink disaster left Lazy Town.

The Mayor was just saying the other day "Things are so different since Stephanie left. No one can ever replace her, you know". ' Why would anyone want to replace that little brat? You know what really bothered me about that girl?

Well besides being too uppity, too perky too fussy and too prissy, she always was too grown up. She acted like she was in charge. She acted like she was a little adult. What was worse is Milford treated her like one. Then Sportacus came with all his big dreams and big hopes and soccer balls and he filled that child's brain with even more fluff and nonsense. She was just brimming with happiness, confidence and eager enthusiasm and Sportaflop had to swoop in and encourage her even more to follow her dreams, eat lots of sportscandy, do the splits and dance like a superstar. Okay she reached for the stars now why can't she take a break for a few minutes? What's wrong with doing nothing for a few moments? Is it such a sin to dedicate one day to recover from the rest of the week?! Is it such a crime to take the day off from singing and dancing?

There should be one day a week where everybody is allowed to do nothing...

for one whole day!

Life should have a off switch. If there isn't one, you make one. Speaking of switches, I really wish I had that kid pebble's remote right about now. Ahhh, now that was fun, having all that power all at the tip of my fingers.That remote control could do anything. All I had to do was push a button and the whole world froze. I loved the part where I put Stephanie on mute. The silence was absolutely heavenly. I couldn't hear her constant twittering, I just heard the wonderful sound of my own voice. I could actually hear myself, now I hear myself all the time and I'm sick of it. Everyday there's nobody but me to listen to. Honestly I don't hate myself, I love being me, I love being Robbie but lately it's gotten to be a bit tiresome. True I may not be much for conversation but right now I wish more than anything that I could have one. So I can't turn her away.

Don't turn her away whatever you do. I'm begging you. Wait Robbie doesn't beg, He makes demands. Therefore I demand she come here to Lazy Town. Good, I'm glad that's settled. She can stay here with me, in my underground batchelor pad. It's perfect. Yet maybe I should give her a choice. She either stays with that bumbling numb skull Milford or she can stay in my beautiful underground abode.

There's no way she's going to stay with the Mayor. He'd offer her Stephanie's old room. It's all in pink. It has all these disgustingly cheery colors spalshed all over the place like bright orange and sky blues. It's enough to make one sick. She's not a pink loving, unicorn wearing, super feminine girlie girl. She prefers fiery dragons and vigorous swordplay.She's no princess awaiting her prince to save her. She saves herself and she waits for no one especially for no knight in shining armor. She fights her own battles without the aid of any hero. So she dosen't care wether I'm a hero or not. She likes me just the way I am...at least i hope. Afterall she did say she'd followed my career quite extensively. Extensive, extensive. What dose that word even mean? It probably means alot of something right? Never mind that. I have to get ready. If i want her to come soon, I must look my very best."

Robbie tore off his night cap and stuffed it into the chair beneath the seat so it was out of sight. He rose from his chair and clapped his hands in a demanding fashion. The mirror lowered down to meet his overly handsome face. Robbie had certain super human abilities, one of them being able to dress himself in a few seconds. He didn't even have to take his clothes off, his clothes had a strange way of appearing on his person.

They didn't just appear they materialized themselves upon his body. Sportacus had a similar ability but since he never changed his attire such abilities were not put to good use. Practice does indeed make perfect. Robbie was a excellent example. Robbie frequently changed his clothes so his power was more developed than those of Sportacus. Many of Robbie's powers were far superior to Sportaflop's. Another ability that he was not altogether fond of was the ability to grant wishes. Unfortunately due to his lack of practice he rarely ever granted the wish he wanted. So in his frustration he gave up trying. Conjuring objects from thin air was more his specialty, such objects as mirrors, mystical tents, bulldozers, blue cages, a wheel barrow, garbage truck and a cannon ball. Many of these objects he used to trap Sportacus. He was not always too good at the actual trapping part but he was extremely skilled at building them and he had made Sportacus' powers fade many times. Sportacus had a weakness and Robbie knew all about it. They had gone to school together. I think it must have been sometime in high school. He no doubt knew a few of Sportacus' Secrets from that time in his youth. Anyway Sportacus had this weird allergy to sugar. He wasn't diabetic, he just had this strange reaction to sugar. if he ever ate even a bite of sugar he would immediately become weak and incoherent. He would collapse and fall into a unconscious state. Robbie had no food allergies of any kind and his only weakness was his love for cake.

Even cake didn't slow him down. Lastly another super human ability he possessed was being able eat vast quantities of unhealthy food without gaining any weight. It didn't matter what he ate, he still remained in great shape. He was still by no means a small man.

He was particularly tall in stature, he was considerably taller than Sportacus. Even though he hated exercise of any kind he had well defined arms and firmly shaped thighs. Much of his physical power came from his legs. They propelled him everywhere at incredible lengths and velocity. However he displayed much of his emotion through his frequent hand gestures and the constant movement of his arms. Every inch of him was in some way beautiful. How could such a girl as this Lucy even begin to fathom how beautiful a creature he was? How could she even learn to appreciate his incomparable uniqueness?

How could she ever understand him as I did?

She was a goody two shoes. What did she know about villany?

I didn't even know her yet somehow despised her already.

I miss you Robbie. she almost pleaded with him. Her voice sounded so pure, so honest and so absolutely sincere. She must have other intentions. I was so sure of it. Her imploring angelic voice had swayed him. Why was Robbie so weak?

Why did Robbie have to be so soft?

Why couldn't he be firm and iron willed?

There was serene thoughtfulness in his grey blue eyes. I saw delight and admiration on his face. Was she somewhat attractive? Was she comely in appearance? I wondered what it was about her that made her so endearing to him.

" Soon she'll be here. I know she will. There's no stopping her now. What is today? Today is Sunday. Sunday, sunday, sunday, which means tomorrow is Monday. So I'll just tell her to come on Monday. Monday is sometime next week

Perfect. The lair is clean, I'm awake and I'm ready for her right now. Robbie, she's not coming right now. Don't get too excited. It's not good for your heart. Excitement gets all that blood pumping

and then that causes you to sweat and then...that's way too healthy. I hate healthy!I deny anything that has to do with health. I despise everything that has the word health in it! Ugh! There's too many healthy things out there in the world. When I was a boy when people wanted to stay fit they would go out and take a walk then they'd come back home

turn on the TV, kick back and relax. Nobody had to run a marathon. Nobody had to enter a sports competition you know the kind where you have to whatever it takes to get to the finish line like that Sports Day thing that those kids had every year in Lazy Town. I even entered it once. You had to bike, skateboard, scooter and run and bike and then i don't remember what else we did. The point of the whole event was to win. The only reason I did it was because of a wager. I wanted to buy this Sports field and they wanted it so they could...frolic around on it. I lost the race and I lost the wager and I lost the Sports field. It was a sad day I know but don't beat yourself up about it. It's over now. Just breathe in breathe out. Oh forget it. My point is life used to be all so simple. Now everybody has to go for the extreme; climb mountains, hike super long trails and bike for miles and miles without end, run in 100 degree weather. Physically fit is one thing but exercising until your body is drained of all life force is ridiculous. Why push your body so hard when you're already are in great shape? It doesn't make any sense.How can one actually have fun exercising?

It's hard work. Hard work isn't supposed to be fun.

Work is so boring. Exercise equals work therefore work is simply not worth my time. it's a complete waste of energy. Why am I talking about exercise? Yuck! Let's talk about something else like that phone call I'm going to get soon." The phone rang just as he finished his last sentence. He bolted for the phone and he briefly caught his breath then awnsered the phone in a smooth sophisticated voice.

" Hello. Robbie speaking".

" This is Lucy Goodwill. Is there still an opening available?"

" For the vacation for two? Yes mam, of course, there most certainly is. I am so glad you called so soon because you may be eligible for discount.".

"Oh really. What kind of a discount?"

" Well, it just so happens since you are the first caller you are eligible for the best, no the finest accommodation available in Lazy Town. I can offer you one night completely free of charge."

"Why will you be paying? Where is this fine accommodation exactly?"

" Where will you be staying? Well you can stay here with me that is...if you want to or you could stay somewhere else like-"

"I'll stay with you. So do I have to pay after the first night?"

" No of course not. Don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to charge you for anything. I'm not that cheap. Look are you sure you want to stay here with me? I'm sure that Milford wouldn't mind if you stayed with him a couple of days. He's kind of weird that way."

" No, don't be silly Robbie. If I wanted to see Milford i would gladly stay with him but I want to see you, not him. If you don't feel comfortable having me stay at your place really I'll understand. I could always stay somewhere else-"

"No, no, no Don't stay anywhere else. I mean there's really no place else to stay here. All Milford has is a hobbit sized room with pink wall paper. Really I don't mind and- and- and you can stay as long as you like completely free of charge.". "

"Yes so you said. So when will this accommodation be available?"

" Oh Monday. Yes Monday. Does Monday sound good?"

"Monday sounds perfect. I'll see you then".

" Wait. When...will...I see you tomorrow...

exactly?"

"As soon as possible".

" Oh, Okay.Wow. Does that mean in the morning or the afternoon or what?"

" How does the morning suit you?"

" It suits me just fine".

' You sound rather nervous. Are you getting anxious Robbie? You know I could come sooner if you like."

"Can you do that?"

"Yes absolutely".

" Look I don't want to rush you. Monday is just fine. I don't do mornings but I'll deal with it. Look I don't really care. You can come whenever you want".

" Alright,I'll come on Monday morning. I'll try not to come too early."

" I told you I don't care. All I care is that you get here in one piece".

"Ah, Robbie you're always so sweet".

"Ha ha. Very funny Lucy".

"No I'm serious Robbie. You say you don't care but deep down you do. That's what. makes you different from all those other villains out there. You've got soul, you have depth and you're not just another heartless fiend. You don't cut yourself off from emotion like the rest of them do. You're not afraid to show how you feel. You just have this incredibly fearlessness in you. I remember when we growing up together and I was just getting to know you, I wanted to be just like you".

"Like me? Really? Why would you want to be just like me?!"

"I envied your confidence. I envied how easy things were for you".

"My life has not been easy. Look.I don't mean to be rude and I don't mean to change the subject but maybe we can talk about this tomorrow."

"Oh yes of course we can, Robbie. We can catch up more tomorrow. I'll let you go now. Goodbye Robbie".

" Bye".

Robbie returned the phone to the receiver in a daze.

His cheeks matched his pinstriped outfit quite nicely now, especially with the maroon.

" She thinks I'm sweet. I'm not sweet am I? If I was a flavor i would be sour. Well think about it Robbie, she hasn't seen you in ages. She doesn't know you. You've changed a considerable deal. She just doesn't know how much you've changed. I was a sweet little boy who only ate cookies and cake after dinner. I did everything a good little boy should do to please his mother. I followed the rules and I said please and thank you. I was the perfect child. Now I am not a child anymore. I'm all grown up now. Yes i have confidence, i won't deny that. Yet when she talks to me...all that confidence just disappears. Oh! I don't think this is going to work."

Robbie put his head in his hands and whimpered slightly.

Robbie's eyes lit up all of a sudden like to two neon signs

"I know I need a new look. Something casual but snazzy. Not too snazzy, I don't want to frighten the poor girl. Yes I think a new get up would do wonders. I mean I'm always wearing the same old thing. No doubt everybody's seen it. Now don't get me wrong this snazzy sense of style has made some pretty big headlines. I like to call it my signature style. Yet I need to break free of that. I need to show my casual classy side. What spells class more than...a bow tie?!!."

A pinkish purple bow tie appeared in

his hands.

" That's not what I meant when I said classy but it will do"

He marched up the metal stairs that lead to a long grated platform. Behind the metal walkway were each of

his disguises. These disguises were typically reset everyday and each one stood upright upon faceless mannequins.

" Reset".

The plexiglass enclosed outfits vertically spun like electronic slot machines. None of these outfits pleased him until until he came to the very end, on the far left of the platform.

"Perfect!" he exclaimed triumphantly. The outfit consisted of one freshly pressed long sleeved lavender shirt and a pair of thick maroon plaid pants accompanied with a black belt.

"Should I change into that now. No that wouldn't make any sense. I'll just lay them out somewhere... hopefully somewhere I can find them and then I'll put them on first thing tomorrow. I should probably set my alarm."

He yet again began to march down the stairs and grabbed ahold of his big orange alarm clock.

I'll set it for 8:08. Where did I get that number? And what happened to sleeping in past noon? Oh well I'll just have to skip it. I can skip my strict sleep regiment for one day can't I? What if she stays more than a day? What if she gets so bored out of her mind that she leaves a day early?!

Calm down Robbie, nothing terrible is going to happen. She will enjoy her stay and then she'll leave with a dreadful longing in her heart to see me again. Don't be such a romantic and don't be so overdramatic.I sound like my mother!

She's just an old friend, she's not an old girlfriend. She could have been more than that but nothing ever happened...between us."

He didn't appear to be too convinced he instead threw his hands up in denial.

" Well, there was that one night but that was it. Sure we were close but we weren't that close. I just spent the night at her place one time. Her mother wasn't home and she was lonely so I stayed. I wanted to leave but then she fell asleep and it's kind of hard to just rush out when you have a girl in your arms. Every time I tried to leave she would beg me to stay. It was so maddening yet I didn't want to be let her down. I ended up staying till 3 in the morning. I can just imagine what the media would say if they got ahold of this. One Night with Robbie. Robbie's One Night Stand. Robbie's Secret Love Affair.

Nothing happened and I mean nothing! There wasn't even any ove involved. Okay, okay maybe there was a little I only loved her like...like a sister. Oh forget it! Who are you trying to convince. You don't need to convince yourself. Alright I admit I had teensy weensy crush on her. It was just a crush, it wasn't anything serious. Nothing ever became of it. We were just friends. I mean come on I was in middle school when I first met her. Actually I was even younger than that. Oh never mind it doesn't matter. I'm not in touch with the media these days anyway. Wait,when were you ever in touch with the media?!

Oh don't be shy Robbie. You've been in contact with the media a couple of times. I really should make more public appearances. I really should get out more. Nah! If I do that I'll have to actually step outside my lair and be all social.

I don't want to do that. Phew!Good. I'm glad that's been decided. No media, no pictures, no comments and no interviews. I am having company and I don't want anybody to ruin this visit! Everything is going to go perfectly. Nobody is going to mess this up for me! If anyone comes near this lair besides Lucy of course, I will personally put them through the Litilizer and then they'll be little figurines forever. Sometimes I am so mean that I even scare myself".

Sometimes I loved his sense of humor especially now. If anyone is going through the Litilizer it's me and then Lucy's next.