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- Excerpt from an unpublished memoir of Clovis Bray II
My father hated maps.
"And do you know why I hate maps?" he asked me.
I didn't answer. Not immediately. With Father, every question was vast, particularly those that looked simple. And simple questions deserved as much insight and wisdom as could be brought to bear.
With that in mind, I said nothing.
Why would my father hate maps?
One of his collaborators came into the office. Father didn't have employees. Or assistants. And for that matter, he didn't have heroes either. Every person, living or lost, was a collaborator, and that included his children.
"Clovis," said the visitor.
Father heard the woman, but he was watching me.
The woman was pretty, and I was sixteen. So I looked at her, smiling enough for both of us. And she threw an appreciative wink my way as she described test results from the last five billion runs of our AI Initiative.
Out on the Martian desert, my father and picked collaborators were building housing too cold for this universe and too swift to be real.
And I was a sixteen year-old boy smiling at a pretty woman.
My father thanked her for the update, and she left.
Just as I feared, he never looked away from me.
"I don't know why you hate maps," I admitted.
With Father, ignorance was never the worst crime. What was awful was pretending to have insight and wisdom where neither existed.
"Maps end," he said.
I nodded, just a little.
"Maps insist on having borders and edges or the table falls away. Which isn't the way the universe works."
"It doesn't, no," I agreed.
Then he asked me, "So how does the universe work?"
I pretended to take my time, considering various smart answers. But I ended up using my first impulse.
"Effortlessly," I said.
He laughed. Which wasn't uncommon for my father, but it was heartening to hear just then.
"What else can you tell me?" he asked.
"The universe is infinite and probably in multiple ways," I said. Then I listed a few examples: The census of stars, the Many-Worlds principle in quantum mechanics, and the endless measure of tiny realms hiding inside every grain of Martian sand.
Father nodded.
The smile died.
Then he said something ominous. Although I didn't appreciate it at the time.
"The universe is someone's map," he said.
"Is it?" I muttered.
"Yes, oh yes. And what we're doing here... we're reaching beyond the boundaries, out into the unknown. And we pull back new colors to put on this map that can never, ever let itself be finished."
I nodded, smiling like the good son.
But I was sixteen, and my thoughts were mostly about the pretty woman who had winked at me.
—X—
It was cold.
The wind was howling. Snow flew by in flurries and torrential gusts. She looked over the outcrop of rock she was standing on to see that she was on a mountain, with quite a fall to go. She'd never seen this mountain before, and hadn't the slightest idea where she was.
The view from such a height was beautiful; a series of snow-capped mountains in a range stretched across the horizon. She could see forests below, with rivers and creeks winding through them, cleaving a path through the green to make way for blue. And on top of that, everything was blanketed in a layer of white powder. It was serene, and peaceful. She closed her eyes, willing herself to enjoy the solitude for a moment.
"It makes you forget the world, doesn't it?"
She turned to see that she was not alone after all. Sitting a few feet from her on the snow-covered outcrop was… someone. They wore what looked to be the gear of a Guardian, but much more primitive. Their chest was some kind of leather-looking armor plate with fur underneath a strap cutting across the breast from shoulder to waist. Their cloak was in tatters, torn from the scars of a thousand battles.
"Just lets you block it all out; for a good while, at least." The person spoke with a gruff tone, one that was tired. Not physically old, but one that carried the weight of death and war on the shoulders. Old in a way that nobody should ever have to experience.
"Who are you?" she asked, curiosity getting the best of her. They were silent for a moment.
"They call me the last Hunter. Pretty fitting title, I suppose." They looked around the outcrop, and then out at the view. "Honestly, I've been away for so long that I'm sure 'the last Hunter' has become more of a legend or myth at this point than a name. I don't think they believe I really exist."
They spoke vaguely, not answering her. Were they hiding something from her, or just afraid?
"Why are we here?"
They looked at her. "I'm tired. Been tired for a long time. As for you, I can't tell you. You'll find out eventually. But it has to do with everything."
They spoke as if they knew the future. "Where are we? When are we?"
The sound of a faint explosion emanated from down below. She wanted to look at what was going on, but the person just sighed and began to stand up. They walked over to the edge before looking back at her one last time.
"A day you'd never forget."
With that, they waved their arm at her, and she felt herself fade away as everything blurred to white.
—X—
Aria walked out of the hangar feeling drained. She smelled something burning, and looked down to see a singed hole in her robes, still burning from the firefight she'd had to go through to get out of those caves. She quickly smacked it out. If anything, she was pissed most at Skolas for running like a coward and leaving her to fight the rest of the Fallen in that cave.
After the fight, Petra had instructed her to return home to get some rest, and she'd be contacted again if word of Skolas popped up. She felt grateful for the reprieve, but angry at herself for letting Skolas get away. Granted, she'd had about a second of reaction time before he'd teleported away, and she hadn't really expected to nab him on her first encounter either; but the loss still stung nonetheless. In the end, the House of Winter now bowed to Skolas. Now there were two Fallen Houses under that crazy Kell's control.
Echo flew forward a few feet, and looked at her. "You should probably get yourself cleaned up before you sleep; you're a mess."
"Gee, thanks Echo," she muttered sarcastically. "That's exactly what every girl wants to hear."
"Just trying to help."
Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a familiar Hunter coming towards her. "Hey, Aria!"
"Hey, Scorch." She noticed the figure accompanying her, a male Exo with amethyst eyes and a maroon face. "I don't believe we've met?"
Scorch held a hand to her forehead. "Of course! I haven't introduced him to anyone." She waved in his direction. "Aria, this is Rook. Rook, Aria."
The Exo waved cautiously at her. "Nice to meet you." He wasn't a Guardian, and so Aria inferred that he probably lived in the city; his sense of self-preservation was all too evident, and she could tell he didn't know if she was prejudiced against Exos like many of the city's organic inhabitants were. She smiled nicely at him, hoping he saw her as a friend.
"It's a pleasure to meet you as well." She looked over at Scorch. "So, this is the one you told me about a few weeks ago, right?"
Scorch nodded. "Yeah. He's my roommate now. I brought him up here to show him the Tower; maybe so he could see some happy Exo faces for once." Aria nodded. Indeed, Rook looked like he was thoroughly enjoying himself.
"Well, I hate to cut this meeting short, but I am very tired. The Queen of the Reef is having me chase down some psychotic Fallen Kell, and I need some rest after today's mission." She began to walk past the two of them, but a ship approaching the tower caught her attention. It appeared to be flying pretty urgently towards the courtyard.
"Is that Eager's ship?" She looked to see Scorch following her gaze to the coming vessel. Apparently, she found it odd too. She looked back to see the ship finally coming up over the railing, and hovering in the air for a moment.
Without warning, Matt transmatted right below the ship, holding something in his arms. It almost looked like…
Oh no.
"Matt, what the hell happened?!" she called running over to him, her fatigue forgotten. He looked at her, his eyes determined. Whip hovered around them nervously.
"Help me carry her; she's lighter than she used to be, but still."
Nodding, Aria reached under Ash's legs, and helped Matt carry her towards the infirmary. The Exo kept muttering incoherent words under her breath, too quiet for Aria to make sense of them. Her left arm was mangled, a mess of wiring and nerve-gel. It looked like it had been attacked by a feral creature.
It was always something. She still hoped that one day, she'd come back to the Tower and not find her friends in mortal peril.
—X—
He furrowed his brow at her latest move. "I hate to break it to you, but 'blarg' is not a word."
"But, siiiiiiick," she said, stressing out the second word with a mockingly pleading tone in her voice.
He rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine."
She giggled. It was just the fact that she knew he would have agreed either way that made her enjoy the joke all the more.
He began looking for a potential opportunity to play his own letters. An old board-game was spread out on her bed, having been brought by him for some entertainment while he visited her. She was heavily enjoying the effort he made every time he came in; talking with her, hanging out, even spending the night at times. It helped comfort her while she was stuck in the sterile white walls of the hospital. Many of the doctors had protested at first, but with little hope in the distance, they'd relented. Everyone was playing a waiting game now.
A knock sounded at the door.
Both of them turned to see a nurse enter. "Sorry to bother you, but you have a visitor who says he would like to talk with you alone. He says his name is… Mr. B?"
She felt a tightening sensation in her gut, but she nodded firmly. "Yes, I was expecting him. Let him in."
He looked curiously at her. "Who's Mr. B?"
"Don't worry about it," she assured him. "You wouldn't know. There's just something I wanted to discuss with him." At least one of those things was true.
When he continued to stare at her, she sighed. "Seriously, I'll be fine. But I do need to do this."
He nodded slightly, acknowledging her request. "Alright. I got it." He stood up, and walked towards the door before turning around. "Keep that game up, I'll come back later tonight and finish it! Don't think you've won yet!" Then he made his exit.
She smiled both warmly and sadly at the same time. She knew he was telling the truth; he would come back later tonight, and then he would intentionally lose like he always did. All to make her feel better.
Sometimes, she wondered if she deserved to be so lucky.
Less than a minute later, someone else entered the room. They were dressed in a pressed grey suit, very professional. She knew he had the best intentions, but she couldn't help but feel apprehensive. He nodded towards her politely before pulling a small device out of his pocket and pressing a button on the side of it. Instinctively, she had a feeling that the cameras in the room had suddenly lost connection.
"So we finally meet, in the flesh."
She swallowed hard. He seemed to notice his mistake.
"I'm sorry, I did not mean to say- that is, I understand how hard a decision this is already, I did not mean to add stress with such a poor choice of wording."
She shook her head dismissively. "It's alright, Mr. Bray. I know you didn't mean anything by it."
He nodded appreciatively, then exhaled deeply. They both knew what he was here for.
"Ms. Gray, I have a proposition for you."
She nodded. "I know. I've gathered the details from what we discussed before when you contacted me."
"And you understand the necessities of this proposition? Security is everything here, after all. No one must be told of this, not your family, not the doctors, not even young Mr. Woods; even I shouldn't be discussing this in such an open place, but I feel that for a matter such as this… personal interaction should be given wherever possible, if only as a courtesy."
He knew how much this would affect her, and he was trying to make it easier. She was grateful for that.
"Yes."
He sighed, and looked down. "When I first came up with the idea, the prototypes, I never dreamt that I would be picking ordinary people from the populace to help make history." He looked back at her. "But when I learned of those few people, like yourself, whose bodies reject the gifts of the Traveler, cannot handle the light…"
He smiled. "I am more than glad to give you all a second chance."
She looked down at herself. At her body. Appreciating it. Experiencing it. She wished that the Traveler hadn't forced this choice upon her. Wished that it hadn't poisoned her body with light. Making her feel like her organs were trying to jump out of her skin every day.
But that was what had happened. And now she had a choice to make.
Those green eyes flashed in her mind, and she knew what she would choose. Anything was worth it for him.
She only hoped he would forgive her.
"I accept."
Mr. Bray nodded. Reaching into his coat, he pulled out something. He held it out for her to see. It was crystal-like in structure and appearance, emerald-green in color. She looked up at him.
"This is a new thing we've developed recently. A data-storage device of sorts. With this, we can store much more than the largest supercomputers could ever hope to." He dropped it into her outstretched hands.
"Even now, it's your choice. For your soul, for… you to be stored, you need to want it. And I can't force you to do that. If you truly want this, then just focus on channeling yourself into the crystal."
She looked at it in her hands. For so simple of an object, it was amazing how much impact it carried on her future. Even if she went through with this, she would still die. But at least she'd have a chance to come back.
The green of the crystal loomed at her.
Green eyes.
She focused with all her might on copying every last ounce of her into that crystal. When she thought she was done, she looked at it. Inside the green of the crystal was a blue spark; a small glow emitted from it.
"That means it's done." She held the crystal back to Mr. Bray, and he pocketed it gingerly in his coat. He looked at her sadly.
"I thank you greatly for what you have done. I promise, I will not let your decision be made in vain. We WILL succeed." With that, he nodded politely at her again, and promptly left.
She was once again alone in her room, with nothing but her thoughts for company. A tear rolled down her cheek, and she made sure to cherish every second of the wet sensation as it cascaded down her flesh.
Who knew how many more times she'd ever be able to feel that again.
—X—
She opened her eyes.
It was dim in the room; just bright enough for her to see that she was in an infirmary bed. Her armor had been set off to the side of the room, likely to make it easier to work on her. Ash sighed, and fell back against her pillow. That was twice in the last few weeks; she hated being in here, it-
Then the question came to mind as to why she was in the infirmary. She noticed that her neuro-sensors were disabled; she couldn't feel the temperature, or any sense of touch anywhere on her body. Whip must have forcefully deactivated them. But that begged yet another question as to why he would have done that.
She lifted the blanket to look at her legs. They appeared fine. No problem there.
She looked at her right arm. Also fine. She flexed her fingers a few times. She couldn't feel it, but she saw them moving accordingly, if not a bit clumsily without sensor input to help with coordination. Which left…
She looked over at her left arm to find that it was missing below her elbow. Some kind of brace or cap had been placed over it, hiding the edge from view. She reached over to grab it and pull it off.
"You don't want to do that, trust me. It looks like a mess under there."
She jerked back, and turned to look at where Matt was sitting in a chair on the right side of her bed. She hadn't noticed him with the dark and the fact that Hunters could lie perfectly still if they wanted; unseen unless they wanted to be seen.
"What happened?"
He shrugged. "I was hoping you could tell me."
She stared blankly at him.
"One second, you're asking me about Clovis Bray, the next you're writhing on the ground and scared to death of me. You started clawing at your arm, tearing it apart wildly. I managed to stop you from taking it off completely, but you so badly damaged it that I might as well have not tried. The healers decided to remove the damaged bits and just look at refitting you with a new one." He shook his head slightly out of the memory of it. "You kept calling me a liar, saying you hated me."
Clovis Bray. That name again. Why did it sound-
She remembered her dream.
"I was… somewhere else. I don't know. And there was a man who came to see me." She looked at Matt, and suddenly something very shocking clicked.
"And you were there."
He raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I was?"
"Yes, you were… I don't know." She struggled to remember the vision she'd experienced. It kept slipping away from her, and she tried to clasp onto anything she could.
"Go ahead, I'm listening." Matt seemed intrigued. She looked down.
"I don't know. It's like I've got a voice in my head that's trying to force me to remember, but the more it tries, the less I recall."
That gauged a reaction out of him. "A voice?"
She remembered what she'd heard on her Sparrow near the Clovis Bray facility. That single shout of, NO! that had forced her to stop.
"Yeah. I don't know why I thought it was you; it was feminine. Familiar." She shrugged at him. "I probably hallucinated it-"
"No, you didn't."
She stared oddly at him. "What do you mean?"
He sighed. "When I was in the abyss alone, I almost gave up trying to get back to you guys. But some voice started talking to me, showed me the way out." He narrowed his eyes. "There was this blue orb of light that kept appearing, leading me out of the dark. I thought at first that I had imagined it, but it felt too real to totally dismiss. And now you're hearing it too…" He shook his head. "It's just too big of a coincidence. Something weird is going on."
"You've got that right."
They were silent again, until Matt looked back at her expectantly. "So, your dream? I guess it's enough to say that even while sleeping, you're thinking of me."
"Oh, shut up." She smiled, before something came back to her. "Oh! I don't think I was me, either."
"What do you mean? Like, an out of body experience?" He still held the ghost of a smirk on his face, but seemed to be paying attention well enough.
"No, it was more like… like I was someone else, taking their place or something." She shook her head. "My name was something… short, something simple."
He grinned. "What, is 'Ash' not simple enough for you? Did you downgrade from one syllable to one letter?"
It flashed in her mind, and she grabbed it. "It was… Gray, I think. Someone named Gray."
The grin disappeared from his face as fast as it had come.
"What… what did you just say?"
Ash stared at him oddly, surprised by his reaction. "Gray? Why?"
He sat there for a moment longer before standing up. He began to walk out the door, but Ash caught his arm. "Hang on, what the hell? You can't just-"
"I need to find out what the hell is going on here." The steel in Matt's voice was frightening. But she wasn't going to back down.
"So you won't explain anything?"
"Not yet. I need to head back to Mars, to that facility. There's got to be answers there."
She still didn't let go of his hand. "Then I'm coming too."
He snorted. "Are you crazy? You saw how you reacted earlier today, what the hell am I supposed to do if you start having a panic attack like that again?"
She stared him down. "You'll manage. But obviously I'm involved with this somehow, even if you won't tell me. I have a right to know. You will wait until morning, and then we will both go together, even if it means I have to go one-armed."
He stared back at her for a few more seconds before relenting. "Fine. We'll wait until morning."
She nodded. "Good."
He walked back next to her, and pulled up his chair again, much to her surprise. "What are you doing?"
"Well, I'm not just gonna leave you alone again after today, and especially not after what you've just told me." He smiled mirthlessly.
"I think we're about to come closer to finding your true past then we've ever come before… and it scares me."