" So I see you haven't dyed
your hair yet".
Robbie remarked at the breakfast table rather glumly. Apparently he has this long stainless steel table that had been hiding out somewhere this whole time in his massive underground lair.
" I know I said I would. It was something I always dreamed of doing but then I grew up. Now that I've grown up I dream of other things, more important things. Why do you think I should change it?"
Lucy swept her shoulder length hair from out her face.
" Oh no. Don't change it! I mean there's no need to change. I like it just the way it is. It suits you. It's- Its already perfect, the color, the style, everything. It's perfect. Afterall its awfully hard to improve on perfection".
Robbie never looked more ridiculous. It was absolutely sickening to watch him compliment this girl. His cheeks were bright pink and his eyes were all aglow with glee.
" Thank you. I always used to hate my hair when I was growing up especially when I was a teenager. I often wondered why I wasn't blessed with a simple shade of brown or a nice solid shade of black just like yours. I suppose I've come to terms with it now. I've accepted it now. I am who I am and nothing can change that".
"So you're saying purple isn't exactly your favorite color?"
" No I've always preferred red, orange and certain shades of blue. How about you?"
" Oh you'd probably cringe if I told you.Better yet you'd probably burst out laughing".
" I won't laugh I promise".
"Okay then my favorite color is...is purple".
Robbie scrunched up his nose and twisted his mouth into a wretched grimace.
Nearly half of his teeth were exposed through his contorted expression of anticipatory dread.
" Purple is a lovely color on you. It suits you well, maroon especially. I like maroon on you. Infact it is the perfect color for you."
Robbie relaxed somewhat but his eyes however dilated in astonishment
Robbie decided to change the subject.
" You know come to think of it, I remember now how much you used to fuss over your hair".
"Really? What about you? If I remember Correctly you were just as fussy as I was"
"Hey, I wasn't always that fussy! There was a time believe it or not that I wasn't so concerned about my sense of style. As I was saying. You were always fussing with that hair of yours. At one point you were pretty upset about. I mean really upset. You were practically in tears".
"Oh really. Just what did you do about it?"
She smiled a small secretive smile.
" What did you think I did? Send you away? Tell you to scram?"
"So I came to you?"
"No I came to you but that matters very little right now. No, I told you to calm down".
" That's it? That's all you did?"
" No, of course not. I told you to calm down and brushed all the tangles out and I made everything all better again. This is when I was nice. It was a very long time ago so I don't quite remember exactly what it was that I said to you. I just remember you were planning to cut your hair really short. When I walked in you had the scissors out and you were just about ready to chop it all off. You told me that you're mother wouldn't notice because she didn't care. Of course I argued you with you and eventually I won but you didn't stop there. Oh no! You claimed you were going to shave off all your hair which I suppose is pretty hilarious but at the time I wasn't laughing. Shockingly enough I was actually being serious, I wasn't being a total clown like I usually am. You spouted off how you were going run away with the circus, dye your hair red and of course change your name to Lady Folly, Flo for short. It was so cute, sad but cute.
Anyway I told you that I'd help you pack and we run away together. I said I'd come with you.You asked me with these big green eyes" Will you really?"
I of course charmingly replied yes. Then I had you put the scissors down and I looked for a place to hide them. Okay to tell you the truth I just threw them aside someplace you couldn't see them. I told you my mother would kill me if I did any of those things to my hair but you were like"Oh Robbie, oh no, that's so different. You have the perfect mother and the perfect life." Then you continued on and on about how I couldn't possibly know what you were going through. Somehow I reasoned with you, yes somehow I convinced you that your mother actually cared for you. I really don't know why I bothered".
" Then you told me to do the right thing".
" No not exactly. You figured out the rest on your own. Then you ended up staying home and not running off with the circus like you and the problem was solved, end of story".
" No I remember now. I never could have figured out what the right thing was all on my own. You told me i was special and that I was one of a kind. You didn't want me to change anything because you claimed you loved me just the way I was."
"Oh come on. I was going to skip that part. I was just trying to spare you from all that tender loving mushy stuff. I mean it's embarrassing. If anyone out there gets ahold of that story, my reputation as a villain could be ruined!"
He flapped his hands in frustration and then rubbed his forehead vigorously.
"Don't worry I'm not going to ruin your reputation. I'm a good girl remember".
"Well even good girls can get into trouble. One can never be too careful".
"I promise you that I won't make trouble for you. Even if I wasn't a good girl I would never divulge that kind of information to anyone. Consider that story a secret. Better yet consider our friendship a secret."
Lucy wrapped her childlike porcelain fingers around Robbie's fist.
" So of you were a bad egg would you still be on my side?"
" Oh yes definitely. I would certainly be here to support you Robbie".
" If you had gone bad would you still be my friend?"
" I dont know Robbie. It's hard to say what I'd do if I had gone bad. I'd be a completely different person. You most likely would be on my mind and I would never forget you".
"What if you were my competitor or worse yet my enemy?"
"I'd never be your enemy Robbie".
" If you were a different person would you
still come to visit me?"
"Yes of course Robbie. I would have come regardless of how much I'd changed."
" I wonder what would have happened if you had never met me?"
" I wouldn't want to even imagine what life would be like if I hadn't met you".
" Why not?What would your life be without me?"
" It would be terrible. I would have been a horrible experience at least for me it would have. I didn't have a single friend in the world until i met you. I needed your friendship and I still do to this day".
" Well I didn't have any friends before you came along either. Infact to tell you the truth I never had any real friends All those people you saw me with were just people, people I had known for only five seconds. They were just acquaintances. We weren't even one first name basis. I mean we were sort of but mostly we called eachother by little nicknames like bro, dude and hey man. Maybe on occasion they called me Rob. It was all very impersonal. Anyway my point is you were my only real friend in the universe".
"In the universe? I thought you were the guy that had everything".
" I thought so too at least I used to. Now I'm not so sure. I think I may be missing a few things".
"You had the good looks, the brains to match and the great hair. You had the best mother in the whole world and your family had this incredible history. You came from one of most prominent families in all of Lazy Town. Your mother always said so. Roberto comes from the best stock she'd always tell me. Then you had this incomparable charm. You always had this way with people whenever you were near a crowd or a large group of people you had this magic with them."
" Oh now stop right there. I never had a way with people. I hated all people in general. I mean I hated most of them, the people...almost everyone. Okay, okay I hated a few of them. Anyway my point is I wasn't quite as social as you might think.
True I was charming and I had the looks of a dictator. I mean I could have been a politician if I wanted to. Mother said so but I didn't want to. It was all just one big scheme. School was tough especially when your bad as I am. I mean come on let's face it, I had lousy grades for practically my whole life and the only thing I really excelled at was acting. I really shined in drama class. I was a absolute natural. I was th star pupil, mostly I was just a star.
So you see whenever I was around people I just put on a whole act. All did was play pretend okay. I pretended that i was this super confident super social public figure. i acted like i was famous and everybody lapped it up. Yes everybody bought it and you know what they treated me like i was some kind of celebrity. Acting was the only thing I was good at that and also the Glee Club but that's another story."
" Yes you're right I have to admit you were brilliant Robbie".
"Brilliant? Oh believe me I was more than brilliant, I was a genius but as far as English math and history and all that other stuff I was pretty stupid."
"No, you weren't even remotely stupid.You just had a hard time focusing in school. I work with alot of children who have the same trouble. You see everybody has a unique way of learning
Its quite possible that Lazy Town High wasn't the best environment for you to learn in. High school is far from quiet. Its noisy and chaotic and there's just too many distractions. It's just not natural for anyone learn anything in the middle of jungle unless you're a wild animal that can survive those conditions. I don't believe in public school. I support the home taught system."
"A home taught what? Should I be afraid of this or what?"
" No, not at all. It just means I support parents and families that choose to teach their children at home".
" Oh that! of course! how silly of me! Wow. Imagine my mother doing that, teaching me at home. Hmmmm... That certainly would have been interesting scary but definitely interesting."
" She'd probably have been a pro at it
She was a incredible woman. Whatever happened to her Robbie?"
" Oh she died quite awhile ago by natural causes of course. I honestly don't know what you've heard but I had nothing to do with it. Really i didn't kill her like they said. She was already sick before I got there.She had angina with a touch of dementia but don't worry she wasn't completely batty. She was just a tad forgetful. I didn't have the heart to put her in one those fancy homes.She was my mother after all regardless of how scary age was. She had this little villa in Italyville. I told her she could afford as nice little place in Italy but she said she said that was too far away from me and she didn't know a word of Italian, so she said Italyville was close enough. Then she said she wanted to be closer. I asked her how close she wanted to be and she told me she wanted to come to Lazy Town. She said it had always been her home even if she hadn't been born there. So naturally I brought her here and then she passed on shortly after which is sad I know but I'm over it now. She had a good life. There's no use crying over that, crying over her. Crying won't bring her back. Mother used to say the best way to honor the dead was by living well. So that's exactly what I've done. In fact that's exactly what I'm doing now, I'm living well."
" Did she have a good funeral?"
'Oh mother wanted none of that. She specifically told me she didn't want a service of any kind. She didn't want anybody to be sad and teary eyed.
She told me " Son I don't want any glum faces on the day I die.i want you to all go out and have a big party. I want all to be happy and to have the time of your lives."
I didn't feel much like having a party. I was originally going stay home bake a cake and stay up late watching Svengoolie but my plans were spoiled when the mayor planned to give a big party in her honor. He said I didn't have to come but that it would be best if I did. So I went. Everybody was there, the whole town came. Even Sportacus. It was then I figured out he had become super hero and that he grown these big muscles and he was all fit and healthy. The sight made me sick. It was bad enough that my mother had died but to have him of all people come to this lousy party it was all too much. I had heard of Sportacus before I didn't know it was Alex my least favorite person in the whole wide world. He became my enemy that day. Then we all had to tell a funny and inspiring story about how clever and great my mom was when she was alive. He jumped up in front of everyone and started spewing out a bunch of lies about how my mother was the reason for becoming a super hero. She encourages to become healthy and strong. Yuck! It was all so sickening. Mother never encouraged me to be athletic. Why on earth would she encourage him? He was a nobody. Mother was always too hospitable and nice. There's wasn't anyone she was mean to. Why she took such a shine to Alex Zeroman is beyond me. He was a loser. He was short and antisocial and weird. He didn't connect with anybody in Lazy Town.
I came home early from that terrible party turned on the tv and sulked until I fell asleep. I'm not much for excitement. All that peopling quite exhausted me. I had survived one social event and that was enough for me. I didn't leave my lair for a long while after that. The important thing was I didn't become some useless wet mop blubbering over my mother.
I moved on, I carried on with my life as usual and i honored her memory.
Do you like cake?"
"Oh I like cake on certain occasions. I still don't see why you perfer eating it for breakfast".
" Its got your eggs for protein, your milk for calcium and your oil to absorb all that stuff. What more could you want?"
Robbie slammed another bite of cake into his mouth and chewed on that bite with great enthusiasm.
" Oh plenty of things Robbie, plenty of things."
"Really like what for instance?"
Robbie challenged her
" Fruits and veggies and water."
Robbie nearly choked on the cake in his mouth.
" What?!!"
Robbie was now a light shade of blue.
" " You're not seriously saying you live off of that stuff?"
"One cannot live on Cake alone".
" Well I can. Don't you have a favorite breakfast food?"
" Yes I do. Quiche is the perfect breakfast food".
" What the heck is quiche?! Sounds Disgusting!"
"Its made of eggs and a little bit of spinach and it has this flakey buttery crust on the outside."
Robbie made disgusted face.
" Who on earth would want to eat that?!"
" Um.. well I would Robbie. I could show you how to make it if you'd like. It's really quite easy. You can skip the spinach part if you want?"
" You mean it doesn't have to have anything green in it?"
" Of course. There's always endless possibilities when you're cooking We can always put something different in instead".
"Can I put anything in it? Like candy for instance?"
" Why don't we try it the regular way first and see how you like it okay?"
" Alright.Minus the spinach right?"
"Yes minus the spinach Robbie?"
So she showed him how to fix quiche and as usual they forgot all about me.
How soon humans forget.