Hope Among the Roses
CS Genre: Season 5 Speculation
A/N: This is not the extended first date scene I teased in my last "up next" section. The filming/spoiler pictures that came out a few days ago necessitated I let the muse go in a different direction. That scene was fairly begging to be written into a Fluffy Friday installment. This chapter doesn't technically contain spoilers, per se, because I, like everyone else, have no idea what's really going on, but it is based on the filming pictures from earlier this week, so if you're trying to avoid anything related to spoilers…be advised.
Also…while this is still mostly fluffy, a little bit of angst is inevitable while Emma is still fighting the darkness. (So, basically, I'm already anticipating breaking my Fluffy Friday rules. I'm such a rebel!)
Killian took Emma's hand and led her from the lively great hall into the secluded, shadowed stairwell. As soon as they'd disappeared from the curious eyes of the Camelot court…not to mention Emma's family and friends…he took her into his arms and kissed her as though his very life depended on it. She responded immediately, her arms coming around him, her lips, against his, turning up in a smile, a small sound of contentment in the back of her throat.
Killian kept the kiss gentle, tender, needing to show her just how much he loved her; reveling in the fact that they were together; that she was here in his arms.
Never in his life had he experienced such panic as the moment he'd summoned her with the dagger and it hadn't worked. The thought that the woman who'd become his very life had been taken to a distant land where she'd need to do battle with the darkness on her own had been agonizing.
He thanked any god who would still listen to a reformed pirate, that they had discovered her whereabouts—and a way to create a portal to get there—in a matter of hours.
He'd never forget the moment he caught sight of her, a solitary woman in a rough, gray dress, walking the dirt road toward the magnificent castle of Camelot. They, none of them, had known what state she'd be in when they found her. Regina and the Charmings had counselled caution, advising him to approach her with care.
But he'd always been an impulsive man, and the moment he'd seen her, it simply didn't matter what state she might be in. He needed her like his lungs needed air. He'd sprinted to her, taken her into his arms and buried his face into the crook of her neck, manfully attempting to hold back the relieved tears at finding her comparatively well.
"I love you too," he said, again and again in between quick kisses to her lips, face, jaw, neck, anywhere he could reach, his voice cracking with emotion.
They'd proceeded to Arthur's court, seeking the one being who might have the power to save Emma. But in the ensuing week, their attempts had proven fruitless. It seems the sorcerer, Merlin, had not been seen in Camelot for years—maybe centuries. There were tales of his imprisonment by a powerful sorceress, but none knew if the legends held any truth.
It was a blow, to be sure, but he and the rest had not come this far to simply give up. They would locate Merlin, and they would persuade him to help them.
In the meantime, Arthur had welcomed them cordially into his castle, offering every diplomatic advantage to the Enchanted Forest royalty that graced his court.
Killian was not entirely sure he trusted the king. There was something in his eyes…calculation, cunning, something…that spoke of ulterior motives. In particular, the way Arthur looked at Killian himself, was troubling...as was the man's uncommon resemblance to him. Killian's mind went to a tale Liam had told him long, long ago about a long lost brother, or some such relation. Killian had believed it to be merely a fanciful story his older brother told him to help him through the first bitter days after their father's abandonment, but seeing Arthur…maybe there'd been more truth to that old tale than he'd given his brother credit for.
Time would come to sort all of that out, but tonight was a night for revelry. Arthur and his fair Guinevere had thrown a ball in honor of their distinguished guests. After a sumptuous feast, and entertainment by the best minstrels and jongleurs Camelot had to offer, the great hall had been cleared, and the dancing had begun.
Killian had danced with Emma until his feet ached, until the need to hold her, to kiss her had overwhelmed him.
Thus their current passionate embrace in the secluded, darkened stairwell.
After long moments, Emma finally broke the kiss. "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"
Killian brought his hand up to tuck a strand of wavy blonde hair behind her ear. "Does a man need a reason to kiss the woman he loves?"
"The woman he loves; I like the sound of that." She smiled. "I've loved you for so long, Killian. I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing you say the same to me."
He smiled tenderly. "You'd best prepare for the possibility, darling. I fully intend to speak the words at every opportunity until we're both old and gray."
Her face fell at that, and she turned slightly away from him, but he was having none of it. He gently turned her back to face him, his breath catching at the agony in her eyes.
"What is it, my love? What's troubling you?"
"You know what's troubling me, Killian," she said in a voice liberally laced with despair. "This darkness…It's still inside me. I've done everything I can think of to fight it, but it's still there, always. I feel it, I don't know, bubbling up inside of me. Every once in a while I get these weird flashes of anger, hatred even. And not even about things I'd normally get mad about, just about stupid random things. My mind keeps going over and over and over all the bad things that happened to me, you know, back in the foster system. It's like…it's like this voice inside me keeps telling me that I'm alone and that I'll never really have anyone. And I try to push it aside, I try not to give in to it, but it's just so hard. Every day I feel like I'm losing a little more of myself."
"And," he said gently, "you feel that one day you'll lose yourself, your true self, entirely and only the darkness will remain?"
"Yeah," she said, "exactly."
"It won't happen, Emma," he said firmly, holding eye contact, desperate to let her see the truth. "It won't happen, because the voice inside you is a dreadful liar. You are not alone, nor will you ever be. We'll find a way to get this darkness out of you, but until we do, you need never fear. I'll be at your side forever, come what may."
"How can you say that?" she cried, taking a small step back. "You know what the Dark One's like, Killian. You more than anyone! You know what kind of terrible things it might do to you through me. I…I know you love me now, but…but what if the darkness takes over? What if I'm not me anymore?"
Killian stepped firmly forward and took her face in his hand and hook. "Listen to me carefully Swan. When I told you I loved you, I didn't mean merely today. I didn't mean merely while things are peaceful or while you're behaving in a heroic manner, or while you're fully yourself. I meant forever. For all eternity. Nothing, nothing, can ever change that. I'm far more familiar with the darkness than I'd like to admit, and I can assure you without the slightest hint of doubt that nothing the darkness might do will destroy my love for you. Even should you get the perverse notion to lock me in your brig and force-feed me that vile 'bologna' for all of eternity, my love will not waver."
She smiled in spite of herself, and then sobered once more. "But I…I might be capable of much worse than that. What if…?"
"Even should you rip my heart out and crush it before me…"
"Don't even suggest that, Killian!" she gasped.
"…even then would my love remain,"
How was he to tell her? How was he to show her? How could he reassure her of the truth of his statements? His hand wandered to the pocket of his red vest, and he tapped what was inside. He'd been vaguely planning something for a while now, perhaps it was time to put the plan into motion.
Taking her hand, he led her toward the great hall door. "Come, Swan, I've something I've been meaning to show you."
~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~
Emma burrowed into Killian, her arms tightening around his waist, her head resting against his back, as the moonlit landscape rushed past them. She'd never ridden a horse before, and she…wasn't sure whether or not she liked it. On the one hand, there was something utterly freeing about it, the wind blowing through her loose hair, her pure white cloak waving behind her.
On the other…she wasn't entirely sure this particular beast liked her. He'd whickered and side-stepped nervously as she stepped into the stables with Killian. The darkness within had sneered, telling Emma that animals sensed a person's true nature; she was so damaged even animals wished to shy away now.
Whatever the case, Killian had expertly calmed the horse, helped her onto its back behind him, and then galloped toward the forest in the distance.
After a few minutes, Emma felt the horse slow, and she sat up, looking around with interest. In the light of the full moon, Emma watched as Killian led them through a gate and into the most beautiful garden she'd ever seen.
Flowers of various kinds and colors sat in artful patches while trees stood guard, and flowering vines climbed the encircling stone wall. Everything about the garden—from the heavenly scents, to the leaves gently waving in the breeze—spoke of peace and serenity.
Killian dismounted, and then helped her to do the same, holding her in his arms for perhaps a few heartbeats longer than necessary.
"What is this place?" Emma asked in wonder, turning in a slow circle.
"Queen Guinevere's private garden," Killian answered, coming to join her after securing the horse's reins just outside the garden wall. "There was, apparently, some manner of…difficulty…between Arthur and Lancelot, and the queen took it hard. Arthur told me he had the garden built so his love would have a place of beauty and refuge for the moments when the demands of court became too overwhelming."
"Well, it's beautiful," Emma said gently.
Killian kissed her softly, resting his forehead against hers for a moment afterwards. "Aye, my love, but its beauty is a pale comparison to yours. You, Emma, are like a star, whose loveliness and luminsecnce puts all other heavenly orbs to shame."
Emma felt a blush heat her cheeks, and she chuckled. "I still have no idea how you manage to pull off these lines that would sound cheesy as hell coming out of anyone else's mouth."
He grinned. "It's a gift darling."
She chuckled, and then sighed. "I might be bright and, I don't know, good, now, but how long will that last?"
"Forever," he said, his thumb caressing the soft dimple in her chin. "The Dark One can't change that. Whatever happens, whatever you become, you will still be Emma; you will still be the woman I'm desperately in love with. I will never stop fighting for that woman, fighting to protect her heart, no matter how far the demon may bury her within herself."
"You're good for me; you know that?"
"Aye, I know," he said with a cheeky grin. Turning away, he reached down and cut a single flower with his hook, then extended his hand, presenting it to her. "A pink rose, Emma. A symbol of love, gratitude, appreciation. There could be no more appropriate offering for you."
Emma brought the flower to her nose and inhaled gently, closing her eyes at the sweet, delicate scent, reveling in the romance, the beauty of the moment. "Thank you," she whispered "You have no idea how much it means to me, you loving me; believing in me."
"Oh, darling," he said, stepping momentarily away, "I've only just begun. As it happens there is another reason I brought you to Guinevere's garden."
Emma watched curiously for a moment as Killian pushed his black, quilted coat aside and rummaged around in his red leather vest. After a moment, he smiled in satisfaction, producing a small, reddish-gold ring and holding it up for her perusal.
"It was my mother's," Killian said. "She passed it on to Liam, and then upon his death, it came into my possession."
"It's beautiful," Emma breathed, running a gentle finger over the metal band.
"Aye," Killian said, dragging his eyes from the ring to look at her face, "And now I want nothing more than to place it on your finger."
Emma gasped, turning startled eyes in his direction. Place it on my finger? Was he about to…?
"Emma, my dearest love, you are the blood that runs through my veins. There will never be a single day of my life I wish to be parted from you; not for an instant. You are the missing piece of my heart that I thought to never find again. Will you do me the greatest gift, the greatest honor of becoming my wife?"
Emma felt the tears flow freely now. Never had she wanted something more in her life.
And never had something been so out of reach.
Calling on every ounce of her strength, she took a step back from him and slowly shook her head. "Killian…"
He stopped her with a hand to her arm. "What's the matter love?"
"I…I want to marry you so much it's killing me, but…" she dragged in a deep, painful breath. "I love you too much to do that to you. Killian, while I'm still the Dark One…while I'm still dealing with this curse…while I'm not really myself…I just can't."
"And that, my love is why I'm proposing an engagement," he said, his eyes tender, his hand moving to take her own, "not an immediate marriage. While the darkness remains, we'll merely remain betrothed. And once this newest evil is defeated, and make no mistake, Merlin or no Merlin, we will defeat it, we can begin planning our nuptials in earnest."
Something new stirred in Emma's chest, something she'd almost forgotten existed. Hope. Overwhelmed with love, with a joy even the darkness couldn't dampen, Emma surged forward, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him with an ardor pure enough to banish any evil.
"Yes," she breathed, when she finally pulled away. "Absolutely, one hundred percent, yes!"
Notes:
-The inspiration (and most of the plot) of this story came from Lifeinthewoods. When the filming pictures came out, she told me her theory that it wasn't actually a wedding (or a dream/vision of a wedding), but a proposal. She suggested maybe the wedding comes in the 100th episode, which comes just after 5a, when they have (presumably) succeeded in taking the darkness out of Emma. I loved the theory, and she went on to ask me to write it. So here you go. :-)
-The filming pictures show this scene happening during the day, but, as I wanted it to come immediately following the Camelot ball, which would have certainly taken place at night, I took a little poetic license.
-Quick note about the ring: It didn't really seem to fit into the flow of things to actually include this in the chapter, but after Liam's death, Killian kept his mother's ring in his safe aboard the Jolly Roger. As soon as he returned to Storybrooke after Neverland, he took it out, and he's kept it on his person ever since, because he already knew he would one day use it to propose to Emma.
-Up next: Assuming we don't get any more amazing filming/spoiler news, next week really will be the first date deleted scene.