305 AL

Dear Cousin Tommen

I have decided to write to you because you have a nice face and I don't think you'll be horrid to me like everyone else is being. They are all in such a bad mood that I can't even say 'hello' without being shouted at, and I don't even have Father to talk to because he's in King's Landing working for you. You should order him to answer his mail. He can't be very good at being Lord Regent and Protector if he doesn't even reply to his letters.

Everybody is in a bad mood because Cousin Jaime and Cousin Arya are having a big fight because he told her how sad he was while she was sleeping in the weeks after Cousin Joanna was born. Arya got very angry and called him all sorts of horrible things before kicking him out of their rooms, and Jaime was very sad for about a day before he started calling her all sorts of horrible things, and now they can't even be in the same room together without starting a fight. They even drew their swords the other day at breakfast, and Mother grabbed hold of me and took me out, even though I wanted to stay and watch.

I don't understand why Arya is so cross that Jaime was sad. Everybody gets sad, don't they? Or maybe Cousin Arya doesn't like Cousin Jaime to be sad because then it makes her sad.

You probably want to know about Cousin Joanna, because everybody always wants to know about her when she isn't even that interesting and she can't even talk probably, because she's only a few months old! All she does is glug glug glug in her cradle all day long, and everyone acts like it's so fascinating when it all it is boring! Glug glug glug glug. See? Boring.

Sometimes she'll be really quiet, and the next second she'll scream and scream and not stop. But she has a nice smile, and when I dangle my necklace over her crib she giggles and tries to catch it. One time she wouldn't give it back and the chain broke, and when I ended up screaming and crying, nobody even noticed, because everybody in this stupid castle is crying or screaming all the time now, and sometimes both. Nobody even noticed.

Father would have noticed.

I hate it here. I have asked Mother if I can go back to King's Landing, but she said no. Could you order Father to send me to King's Landing? Then he'd have to do it.

I hope you are feeling better and don't think of Cousin Cersei as much as you used to.

Your affectionate cousin

Janei

My Lady

If you have been foolish, then I know that you can plead your youth. But really: did you not consider the consequences of your being so indiscrete as to send a letter containing such sensitive information by raven? Shall I tell you how I received your letter? It was given to me by Lord Varys, who obtained it from an unscrupulous maester who thought that he was selling it to my enemies. Uncle Tyrion informs me that it would be rather calamitous were the enemies of the realm to discover that a marriage vital enough to unite two such great houses as Stark and Lannister is collapsing before it has even begun; and as for the unfortunate maester who was merely trying to earn himself a few dragons, he has had to be executed. Were it not for your recklessness, he would still be alive – admittedly as a thief of other people's oxygen, but alive nonetheless.

You may rest assured that I have said nothing of this unfortunate affair to your lord father – at present, he has more than enough to worry about – but if this occurs again, you will leave me no choice. Should you wish to write to me again, ask Lady Arya to put your letter into the dispatch box – not the music box or the snuff box or whatever other boxes you are accustomed to seeing around you – but the dispatch box that she keeps in her study (do not ask Lord Jaime to do it: I am not entirely sure that he knows what a dispatch box is). The letter will be locked up inside and sent to me, and only I will be able to open it. In that way, we may avoid any future inconveniences brought on by your desire to unburden yourself.

I remain, my lady, your most obedient servant

King Tommen Baratheon