One week as a Guardian.
At first, she'd been ecstatic- the idea that she and Woods were going to be finally taking the fight to the Trinary Star was certainly an exciting one, and despite the rigorous physical training routine that the Hunter had laid out for her, Clara was more than enjoying herself.
That is, until he blew a hole through her chest.
It had been unexpected, sudden, and very painful- there was no other sensation quite like looking down and finding a brand new orifice in your body. After a few seconds of staring at it in shock, she'd felt herself begin to drift away … farther … farther …
There was nothing.
…
And then there was something again, and she heaved as her body buckled from the sudden sensation of being alive once more.
"Are you okay?!" Ghost cried in a horrified manner. She had no words for him- all of her focus was on the man in front of her, and she imagined all of her rage manifesting into a physical force that could crush him and his nonchalant expression where he stood.
"… What the actual fu-"
"First rule about being a Guardian," Woods remarked to her, still looking as though he could not care less, "Guardians die. A lot. So, you better get used to it."
She bristled at his explanation. "You could have given a little warning," she growled.
He continued as though he didn't hear her, and pointed at Ghost. "But death isn't the end for us- our Ghosts keep us tethered to life, able to bring us back from beyond the grave and allow us to fight on. That brings us to the second rule- protect your Ghost. If your Ghost dies, you die."
"If you try that again, someone's gonna die."
He raised his eyebrows and gave her a slight smirk. "That's good- a little anger goes a long way." He nodded towards her hands, now balled into fists. "Take a look."
Still glowering, she followed his gaze- her face lost all traces of its furious expression as she saw the tiniest of sparks dancing around her fingertips, embers of a fire that had yet to burn.
"The Light lives in all things," he said softly, watching the sparks as she did, though with a lesser intensity. "But as Guardians, we can actually see it, feel it within ourselves … and use it."
With a single motion of his hand, electricity began to crackle in its palm. It had appeared quickly and easily, the effort seemingly no more than what it would take for him to snap his fingers. Little arcs of lightning traveled up the gaps of his digits as they acted like forks, conducting the electrical bolts as comfortably as metal.
Her jaw dropped in awe, her eyes lit up in wonder, and her fury was forgotten. She looked at her own hand suddenly, and glared at it as she tried to shape the motes of energy through sheer will alone.
"Not yet," Woods chuckled, reaching out a hand and covering hers gently. "It takes a while to get to that point- but we will get there."
Nodding acceptingly at his assurance, she focused back on him as his face lowered. "Others have tried to use the light- to corrupt it, to simulate it, take it for themselves … none have succeeded. And so, that leaves the final rule."
He sighed, closing his eyes.
"The Light is a gift. It cannot be taken, only given to those it chooses. It cannot be destroyed … though those who wield it can." He opened his eyes. "It is a blessing, and a curse- one of responsibility. Never abuse its power, or it will leave you in darkness."
"The Stag," she muttered.
He nodded, his jaw tightening. "I refused to see that Cerin was already dead when I met him again- his soul had been corrupted by desire of the Darkness, and his mind twisted by the teachings of the Nine. All that's left is the Stag … a hollow shell of his identity as empty as the skull he wears to conceal it."
"Is there any hope he could be saved?"
"No."
The Hunter spoke with absolute certainty- he had no misgivings about his nephew. "He's too far gone, too convinced that his path is the right one."
"So why haven't you killed him?"
A quiet, mirthless snicker met her audio receptors. "Hope, as frail as it may be, is quite hard to kill."
The two of them sat in silence for a minute or two. Eventually, Woods beckoned for her to follow him.
"Come on. It's time you learned how to fight."
—X—
Two months as a Guardian.
She panted heavily, cursing Clovis Bray for giving the Exos the same weaknesses as humans. For example; breathing.
Her artificial lungs burned as the deep inhalation sucked cold air into her chest where it bit at her throat and internal machinery- the snow threatened to invade her servos, and she was continually scraping ice from her joints to keep them from freezing over.
"Your speed is improving," Woods called to her, watching from a few meters away. He gestured at the targets in front of her. "Your aim, however, still leaves a bit to be desired."
Her endurance had greatly increased over her time with Woods, training here on Earth at his hidden cottage. Morning runs were a daily occurrence, and the Hunter was quite adamant about her keeping her neuro-sensors on. She had come to realize that her endurance was not so much a matter of physical fitness, as she had no muscle mass to grow, but a matter of mental discipline. The stinging cold was a cakewalk compared to the excruciating routine that normally came after; combat training.
First had been hand-to-hand combat, the one that Woods had deemed most important; A weapon is a useful tool- and a crutch. You need to know what to do if you find yourself unarmed. She understood that well enough, but understanding the concept and being able to execute it had been two very different things.
Woods had centuries of experience when it came to fighting- she'd barely begun to live again before she'd met him. Trying to spar against such an opponent with no previous training was just as grueling a task as it sounded. Every jab to her side, every blow to her face, they made their marks in more ways than the obvious. Slowly but surely, she'd learned to counter incoming attacks, to read a foe's stance and see their intent before they moved, and how to follow up with punishment of her own.
It was over a month before Woods was satisfied enough to begin weapons training. She still had a long way to go in hand-to-hand, but she would continue to learn as her palette expanded. First had been the knife, becoming familiar with using the blade as an extension of her body rather than a simple tool. Despite what she'd initially thought, it was very different from hand-to-hand; in close quarters, every advantage mattered.
Unarmed, your fists gave up defense for offense when attacking, and vice versa when blocking. With a blade, you could parry, deflect, block, and attack all within a movement or two- there was no need to give up any defense when attacking because your attack was simultaneously a deterrent, keeping the opponent at a distance and forcing them back.
Now, she was on the next step- and it irked her to no end. Woods had granted her a compound bow, one of his own design, and instructed her to become proficient with it before moving on to other weapons.
She had thought it would be an easy task- and once again, had been dead wrong. Her strength was fixed- granted, she was naturally strong as an Exo, but she could not improve her brawn as a human could. Thus, Woods set the drawstring at quite a heavy weight to compensate for her natural power; and trying to keep an arrow accurate while struggling to pull back the string was a task and a half.
She looked at what he had pointed out- none of her arrows had missed, a vast improvement from when she'd first started, but they were still a far cry from being consistent in their precision.
Groaning, she made the walk of shame to the target and retrieved her arrows. He wanted her to be quick and accurate, but she felt she could only do one or the other. She could either take her time and hit the mark, or fire quickly and hope for the best.
"Again."
Without hesitation, she nocked an arrow and fired. It landed just within the inner ring of the target, and she felt a renewed sense of confidence within her. Quickly, she drew the string once more and released her second arrow.
It sunk neatly into the outer ring, and she heard a sigh off to her right.
"Stop."
She let loose an angry breath of frustration, one that she hadn't realized had been building up inside her for quite some time.
"I can't, I just can't!" she exploded. "I'd like to see you hit it with this stupid thing-"
Wordlessly, he walked to her side and held his hand out expectantly. She hadn't anticipated such an immediate reaction, and hesitantly placed the bow as well as the arrows into his hand.
No more than a second had gone by before he turned and began firing rapidly at the target, the arrows disappearing faster than her outrage.
He hadn't adjusted the bow's weight, which meant he was using the same tension that she had been- and he was firing faster. And once he'd run out of arrows, she was embarrassed to find that he had managed to land every last one within the inner circle.
He turned to face her and set his left hand on her shoulder. "The bow is working fine- the stupid thing that isn't is your attitude."
She looked down, unable to meet his eyes. "Sorry," she muttered.
"Don't apologize," he snapped at her, forcing her to look back up at him. "I'm not looking for excuses."
He held the bow out, offering it back to her. Tentatively, she accepted it.
"You can do this," he told her, his tone making it clear that he wouldn't take no for an answer. "And you will."
Silently, she looked back at the target and saw something new instead- no longer was it an obstacle, a roadblock on her journey to being a Guardian …
It was a challenge.
"Again."
—X—
Half a year. Half a goddamn year as a Guardian.
And all for some measly sparks.
"Focus, Clara."
"I am focusing!"
"The results would say otherwise."
She groaned at the pathetic display she'd given as she attempted to channel the light, creating nothing more than the same small embers of light that she had in the first weeks of being a light-bearer, though perhaps they were the slightest bit brighter.
"It's hard- it's like it's fighting me."
Woods grunted in agreement. "Like I've said, the Light can't be tamed. It can be guided, yes, even wielded- but never controlled."
"Then what's the point in focusing on trying to control it in the first place?" she muttered glumly, her eyes glaring at the lights dancing around her hand.
He opened his mouth- perhaps to explain, perhaps to lecture her- and closed it just as suddenly. His eyes widened, and his lips parted slightly before shaping into a faint smile.
"You know what? You're right."
Clara's thought process froze altogether, the embers immediately vanishing from sight as she struggled to process exactly what she'd just heard.
"… What?"
He stared at her enthusiastically, proving that she'd heard correctly. "You're right- I've been thinking about this wrong, it's been so long since I first learned how to wield the light- how could I not have seen this before?"
She raised a brow-plate in equal parts curiosity and apprehension. "Seen what?"
He took a deep breath, motioned for her to hold her hand out as she had done before, and watched her carefully. "I want you to do exactly the opposite of what I told you- don't focus at all."
"How is that-"
"Listen to me without arguing for once, and clear your mind."
She begrudgingly did as he said and tried not to think of anything in particular. She thought of anything but the light in her hand; the snow as it fell without a sound around them, the cold of the wind as it nipped at her back, the distant rumble of thunder as a storm moved in closer …
She definitely wasn't thinking about the light in her hand-
Clara groaned. "Trying not to think about it only makes me think about it more."
He laughed. "That's alright, we're gonna try something else now. Close your eyes."
Obliging, the blue glow of her eyes vanished as she turned off her optics. She saw nothing now, not even blackness- seeing black was still seeing something, she simply saw nothing.
"I don't want you to focus on using the Light. Just try to feelit."
She ignored the snow, the wind, the thunder … instead, she focused inward, allowing herself to be free of all distractions save for-
There.
She felt something warm, but faint. It nestled in her breast comfortably, filling an emptiness she hadn't realized she'd had. She tried to picture what it looked like, what it felt like-
"Feel its power within you."
She did. Even from here, with how faint the sensation was, she could sense the raw strength it possessed, hidden from her until now.
"Let it come to you."
His words sounded distant now, as though he were far away, but she paid it no mind- she only did as he instructed, reaching out in the void towards the warmth. It sensed her presence, and tried to pull away, retreated from her-
She stopped. She was not here to command it, she had no intention of that- she was here to let it command her.
Finally, she understood. A Guardian did not simply harness the light- the light worked through them. It was the wielder, and they were its instruments; the relationship was that of companionship- it would protect her, and she would protect it.
The warmth had grown, no longer content to remain hidden away in her soul- its heat exploded outward through her body, she could feel its white-hot energy coursing through her limbs and into the air-
"What do you see?"
The light within her had taken shape- a burning flame, a crackling spark, a dark void … it was each of these and more, it was a roaring river through which she swam, impossible to control, its might unfathomable- all she could do was flow with it, wherever it might lead her.
"A thousand blades …"
They burned with fire as their edges sought out their enemies' hearts.
"A dancing current …"
The bolt of electricity weaved gracefully through the masses, striking them dead where they stood.
"An unstoppable shadow …"
Unseen, the wraith cleaved through the darkness as though it belonged to it, a reaper of the light.
She saw … she saw …
"I see myself."
She gasped, her eyes opening once more and taking in the scene around her. Woods was kneeling in front of her, his face an expression of shock. Clara looked at her hand and mirrored his reaction- blue, orange, and purple beams swirled around it, traveling up and down her arm as comfortably as though they'd always been there.
Her trance now broken, they quickly dissipated into nothingness, and she turned with complete and utter numbness towards Woods. He had no words for a time, astounded at the display he'd just been witness to- and then he gifted her with a look that she hadn't seen very often, and never with this ferocity.
He was proud.
"Welcome to the Light, Hunter."
A/N: Yes, I know it's been a while.
I'm back at college now, full-time schedule again- and on top of that, I have plenty of other projects that need attention before this one. To be honest, I'm not even sure how many of you guys are still reading this- it seems like interest has increasingly dried up with each chapter I release. I guess we'll see how much attention this one gets.
Thanks for reading, and be sure to leave a review- I always look forward to your reactions and thoughts.
Until the next time,
- Matteoarts