Emma woke up feeling warm and fuzzy and altogether wonderful.
The feeling lasted only until she was fully awake and remembered the events of the night before. She sat up quickly, dropped her head in her hands and groaned. Had she really had dinner with Killian Jones and told him all about Neal and Walsh?
Her stomach dropped as she remembered the emotions as she revealed her deepest secrets—secrets she hadn't even told her best friends until several years into their relationship. Emma didn't open up, didn't reveal herself, didn't give people the opportunity to hurt her.
What was it about Killian that made her suddenly turn away from all her finely-honed self-preservation tactics and turned her into a blithering idiot?
She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.
Gradually, Emma became aware that the scent of freshly brewed coffee had wafted its way into her bedroom. Interesting. She got to her feet, put on a pair of fuzzy slippers, and walked down the hall to investigate.
"Morning, Emma!" came the perky voice of Ruby Lucas as soon as she stepped into the kitchen. Her best friend and agent held out a large, steaming mug of very strong black coffee, and that alone, in Emma's estimation, would have covered a multitude of sins.
Emma mumbled something that may have vaguely sounded like "Good morning" before falling heavily into her favorite chair at the kitchen table.
Not a bit deterred by Emma's less-than-warm welcome, Ruby plopped into a chair next to her, her smile so wide and sunny, Emma half expected rainbows to shoot from her ears.
"Not to be, you know, rude," Emma said, after taking a couple of fortifying sips of the hot brew, "but what are you doing here so early, Ruby?"
The woman in question rolled her eyes. "So early? Emma it's already 10:00! You've just about slept the day away!"
Emma glanced to the swan-shaped clock on her kitchen wall, and noted that her agent had indeed spoken the truth. She was normally a much earlier riser, but, knowing she wasn't due on set until 4:00 that afternoon, she'd turned off her alarm and indulged in a day of sleeping in.
"Guess you're right about that," she conceded. "But the question remains. What's up?"
To Emma's surprise, Ruby blushed, dropped her eyes, and started absently toying with one of Emma's placemats.
"It's just," Ruby said hesitantly, "well, Graham and I went out again last night."
Emma's eyebrows rose. Well that was interesting. Ruby was more or less the poster-girl for the casual hook up.
"That's, what? The fourth date you've been on with him in the last two weeks?" Emma asked, bringing the mug back to her lips.
"The fifth," Ruby said, sending Emma a shy smile, "but who's counting."
"Wow, for you, that's really getting serious."
"I know!" Ruby said. "I'm not, you know, the long-term relationship type. I like to just have fun, but with Graham…I don't know, Emma; I just like him. Like, really truly like him!"
Emma smiled and then reached over to cover her friend's hand with her own. "Ruby, I think that's great! I really do. Graham's a great guy, and I think the two of you could be really good together."
"You think so?" Ruby asked, the delight evident in her sparkling eyes.
"Yeah."
"Good," Ruby said, "because…well we're supposed to go out again this Friday, and I think he wants to ask me to put a name to this…thing…going on between us. You know, like we're boyfriend and girlfriend."
"Go for it," Emma said.
"I think I will," Ruby said, taking a sip of her coffee. "I was gonna go talk all of this over with Mary Margaret, because she's like the true love expert (no offense to you, of course), but she's sick this morning. Apparently a stomach bug or something."
"So she was telling the truth last night," Emma said, feeling more than a little surprise. "I'd more than half expected her 'sudden nausea' was an elaborate matchmaking ploy."
Suddenly Ruby perked up, like a wolf picking up a scent. "Matchmaking? Last night?" she asked, leaning forward. "Emma, what's going on that neither of my best friends decided to fill me in about?"
Emma called herself about three kinds of fool. She'd walked herself right into that one. She did not want to have this conversation with Ruby—at least matchmaking, innuendo laden Ruby. The compassionate, good-listener Ruby might be a different story.
"It's nothing," Emma said shortly. "It's just…I went to dinner with David and Mary Margaret, and they invited Killian along."
"Let me guess," Ruby said, "when Mary Margaret got sick, she and David left you alone with tall, dark and sexy?"
"Yeah," Emma said dryly, "something like that."
Ruby was silent for several moments, and Emma saw something that looked like compassion in her eyes. "Emma," her friend said, "something's bothering you. What is it?"
"I…talked to him," Emma admitted, suddenly desperate to unburden herself, desperate for someone to tell her that what happened last night wasn't as momentous as it felt.
"Okay," Ruby said, drawing out the two syllables. "What…about?"
"I…I might have told him all about Neal and Walsh."
Ruby abruptly sat tall in her chair, her brows nearly reaching to her hair line. "Really? Emma, it wasn't even until we'd been roommates for three years that you told me about Neal."
"I know!" Emma said in exasperation. "I don't know what came over me! We were just having a conversation, and he suddenly seemed so sympathetic, and, I don't know! It just came tumbling out."
Ruby smiled—not her self-satisfied, "I knew it!" smile, but her compassionate "best friend" smile. "Emma, you like him, don't you?"
"What?!" Emma shot to her feet and started pacing. "No! I mean, we are getting along better now than at first, but no! I don't, I can't like him the way you're implying!"
Ruby calmly took a sip of her coffee. "Why not? And don't give me that 'his reputation as a playboy' bull. I think the last few weeks of working with him have shown you the tabloids at least greatly exaggerated."
"He is…different from what I expected," Emma admitted, "and last night he told me he wanted to be friends, but I think he might want more, deep down, and I…I just can't take a chance that I'm wrong about him!"
"There's more, isn't there?" Ruby asked.
Emma blew out a long breath and dropped her eyes. "Sometimes…sometimes I wonder," she admitted. "I mean, I know what Neal and Walsh did to me…well, they were world-class jerks, but I can't help but wonder…"
"Wonder what?"
"If…if it's not really them at all," Emma admitted, "if maybe it's me that's the issue. If I'm, I don't know, cursed or something. If a happy ending just isn't in the cards for me."
Ruby came over to her and wrapped her in a hug. "Emma, I can guarantee that's not the case. There's someone out there for you. Maybe Killian, maybe not, but I know someone's out there. At the risk of sounding like Mary Margaret, you just have to hold on to hope. And anyway, like you said, Killian told you he wants to be friends. You obviously enjoy each other's company; just focus on the friend part. There's plenty of time for the falling in love part if it's meant to be."
~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~
By the time Emma got to set that afternoon she was an absolute ball of nerves. Focusing on the friendship part would be a whole hell of a lot easier if her job didn't require her to, you know, make out with her "friend".
Because, yeah. Today was the day they shot that scene.
And Emma instinctively knew there was no way out of the "making out". Regina had been playing up their chemistry and the rapidly developing relationship between Anna and Hook like crazy lately. She'd been explicit when discussing the scene. She expected fireworks.
The butterflies started doing the tango in her stomach at the thought, visions of Killian's handsome face lowering toward hers…of his warm, firm lips, soft, minty breath, tongues, heat, passion…she groaned. How was she going to do this?
And why was it such a big deal? It wasn't like it was real. It was just a stage kiss. She'd go through the motions as "Anna", while a whole team of techs swarmed around her and Killian with sound equipment and cameras and lighting and everything else. Not exactly romantic.
So if her heart could, you know, stop pounding as fast as if she'd just run a marathon, that'd be great.
"Afternoon, Swan."
Emma closed her eyes, trying desperately to get a hold of herself before she came face to face with him. She took a couple of deep breaths and then turned, convinced she'd gotten over her stupidity.
And then she was confronted with him and his artfully tossled hair and heavy guyliner and leather…everything…and chest hair on full display, and heaven help her, there should be a law against a man looking like that.
"Hey," she squeaked, cleared her throat and then tried again. "Kinda nice to get the morning off, right?"
"Aye," he said with a slight inclination of the head. He was silent for a moment, just looking at her. "Look Swan, I thought perhaps we'd best discuss our plans for our scene today before we shoot."
And somehow, Emma didn't even know how it was physically possible, her heart started beating even faster. "Um…yeah, I guess."
Killian scratched at the spot behind his ear, blushing slightly and turning his eyes away from her. Finally he looked back. "I've had my fair share of scenes of this nature, being, after all, the leading man on many a chick flick, and I can assure you they're always a bit awkward…particularly the characters' first kiss."
"So," she said, "what do you do to make things…less awkward?"
"It's best when there's trust and understanding between the actors involved," he said, looking into her eyes. "I assure you, Emma, I want you to be as comfortable as possible as we film today. To that end, I'd like to propose that it be you that takes the lead in Anna and Hook's kiss."
Emma's eyes widened. "Really?"
"Aye," he said firmly. "It would seem to work well with Anna's character, and it will ensure this is as pleasant an experience as possible for you. You, love, decide the direction this kiss will take, and I'll merely follow you."
"But…I mean, you're involved too. Don't you want to …I don't know…do something to make yourself more comfortable?"
His eyes widened melodramatically. "Why Swan, do you have intentions to take advantage of me?"
She rolled her eyes, barking out a laugh. "You are such an idiot."
He grinned. "Aye, but tell the truth love, you quite enjoy my nonsense."
She shot him a look. "Maybe. From time to time."
"Alright! Places everyone!" Regina shouted. "We've got a lot to cover today, and I for one don't want to be here until 4:00 in the morning."
Emma took a deep breath as the nerves took over once more. This was…this was a lot to deal with, stage kiss or not. She offered up a quick prayer that she didn't make a total fool of herself.
Emma took her place in the "jungle", having just passed the flask back to Killian. She closed her eyes, took a couple deep breaths and got into character.
"Did you really save him?" Anna asked, surprised in spite of herself.
"Does that surprise you?" Hook asked, looking aside.
She smirked. "Well you aren't exactly, how do you say it, 'mates'."
"Doesn't mean I'd leave your brother here to die," he insisted.
Anna looked carefully at him, looking for the lie, looking for the caveat. It wasn't there. Unless her 'superpower' was wildly off, Captain Hook was telling the absolute truth. She felt a sudden, intense wave of gratitude, of grudging affection.
"Thank you," she said firmly.
He was uncomfortable with praise; she could see that well enough in the way he ducked his head, scratched behind his ear, blushed to the roots of his hair. After an uncomfortable moment, he straightened, a look of pure mischief on his face as he swaggered toward her.
"Aye, perhaps gratitude is in order," he said, tapping his lips, and looking at her through heavily lidded eyes.
Emma's breath caught. Had it suddenly gotten about twenty degrees warmer in this stupid studio?
"Yeah," Anna said, tiny smile on her lips. "That's what the 'thank you' was for."
His smirk became even more pronounced as he invaded her personal space. "That all your brother's life is worth to you?"
He was ridiculous! His flirting was absolutely ridiculous, but…it was fun and it was exciting, and it wasn't like anything was going to come of this anyway. So why not flirt back?
She swayed toward him and rolled her eyes with a little smirk. "Please! You couldn't handle it."
He didn't miss a beat, leaning in so close Anna could feel his breath hot against her face. "Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it."
The way he popped that 't' shouldn't be allowed; it really shouldn't.
Anna stood irresolute for a moment, looking closely at him. This was a mistake; a huge mistake! But…she was feeling good, and they'd just had a victory of sorts, and well, there was this weird tension between them. Maybe if they just…got it out of their systems…
And this was the moment of truth. The moment "Anna Swan" was supposed to haul off and kiss the stuffing out of Captain Hook. Emma looked up at Killian, his eyes reflecting the mischief of Captain Hook…but also the reassurance of Killian Jones.
She choked. It was too much, too intense. She couldn't do this. She pulled at his lapels, letting her lips brush against his and then quickly pulling back, making it barely a peck.
(But God help her! Even that casual contact was enough to send an electric current shooting through her body.)
"Cut!" came Regina's distinctly displeased voice. "What was that, Miss Swan? I've seen more passionate kisses between siblings!"
Well, that was a whole different kind of disturbing, but Emma got Regina's point.
"It just.." Emma tried. "It didn't feel right. I mean, Anna's closed off, right? Is her first kiss with Captain Hook really going to be all passionate and hot and all of that?"
Regina rolled her eyes so hard Emma was afraid she'd hurt herself. "Yes, Miss Swan, it is. We talked about this! Anna's had these simmering feelings for Hook ever since they met—feelings she's kept strictly under wraps. But suddenly caught up in the moment, she just wants to let it all go, just reassure herself that kissing him wouldn't be that big of a thing. And then there's the matter of his challenge to her."
Emma knew that; had known her ploy for the demure peck was doomed before it began, still, her heart sank when she heard Regina call for take two of the scene.
Stop it Emma! She chastised herself. You aren't some brand new actress about to have your first on-screen kiss! This is no big deal! Pull yourself together!
After a long, cleansing breath, she placed herself once more on her mark. She'd follow the script this time; she'd get this stupid scene over with. The sooner the better.
The first part of the scene went well, Emma and Killian both delivering their lines with ease, everything about their body language screaming chemistry.
And then it was time for the kiss. Emma tensed up, grabbed his lapels, and pulled him almost violently to herself. The kiss was longer this time; Emma let herself relax into it for the barest fraction of a moment. But when it occurred to her that it felt good, more than good to have Killian's lips moving beneath hers, she panicked, pulling away quickly.
"Well, that was a little better, I guess," Regina groused, "but the two of you are flesh and blood people who have chemistry, who are supposed to be falling in love with each other, not two blocks of wood slamming up against each other! Again!"
After two more failed attempts, it was clear Regina's patience was completely at an end. "Let's take five. Emma; I'd suggest you take the time to get your head screwed on straight. And Killian…just…talk some sense into her!"
Emma stalked off toward the bottle of water she'd left just off-stage. She took a long swig and then hung her head, wishing this day was just over. She had to get this kiss right, she just had to! With every take they did the feelings crashed into her more and more. How the hell was she supposed to stay immune to Killian Jones and his ridiculously hot everything, when she was forced to spend all afternoon kissing him?
"Alright there, Swan?"
The unexpected question made her jump, and he hastily apologized, a hand to her side to steady her. Emma refused to pull away. There was no way she was going to let him see that even that casual touch nearly set her aflame.
"I'm…I'm just having a rough time of it today, Killian," she said. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't get this scene the way Regina wants it."
"Hey," he said, turning her toward himself, looking at her with clear concern. "Relax love. I meant what I said before. I want you to be comfortable. If this scene is too much for you today, I'll speak to Regina. I'm sure I can smooth things over, sweet talk her into using one of the takes we've already shot."
Emma felt a warm glow spread through her at his concern. He spoke the truth. He'd really, truly do whatever he needed to to make her comfortable. Strangely enough, it was exactly what she needed to hear.
Emma smiled gently. "That's really sweet, but Regina's right. That scene needs a passionate kiss. It's perfect the way it's written. I've just got to find some way to…make it look natural."
Killian reached up and hitched a stray lock of hair around her ear. "Just relax, Swan," he said in a low voice. "You're over-thinking it. Just let Anna's feelings shine through and go with those feelings."
They were called back to set far sooner than Emma would have liked. It had been a short break, the five minutes feeling more like a few seconds, but Emma felt more refreshed than she had all day. It was going to be okay. She could do this.
As she took her place, she closed her eyes, consciously became Anna.
"Please," Anna said softly, eyes rolling, head gently shaking. "You couldn't handle it."
Hook leaned closer, so close she could feel his breath, could smell the rum, the leather, the salt from the ocean. She felt herself slowly slipping under his spell. "Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it."
She waited a heartbeat. Two. She shouldn't do this; she knew she shouldn't. This had big fat mistake written all over it.
But God help her, she was tired of the pain and the struggle. She just wanted to feel good for a tiny moment in time.
She grabbed his lapels and pulled him to her. Her lips met his, and she groaned, the feelings overwhelming her. her hand found its way into his hair as she tilted her head, deepening the kiss.
She knew she'd surprised Hook. It was written all over the slight stiffening of his body as her lips made contact with his.
But it took him less than a heartbeat to catch up with her, his mouth slanting over hers, his lips parting for her, his ringed fingers tangling in her hair.
It went on and on, and Emma lost all sense of time, of space, of reality. Waves of pleasure, of heat, of want crashed over her as she dived in, letting her tongue duel with his. This was…there were no words in English or any other language to describe it, but Emma knew with every fiber of her being that she'd never be the same again.
"Cut! Cut! CUT! You two keep this up and we're gonna have to up this film's rating."
It was only when Regina was nearly in their faces that Emma came back to herself, realizing the director had been calling for the scene to cut for the past few minutes. She pulled her mouth free with a pop, heard Killian softly whisper her name—her name; not Anna's name—and suddenly the mortification hit her.
What had she just done!?
She mumbled something to Regina about how she was done for the day before nearly sprinting from the stage. Chances were…not good…Regina would agree to her terms, but she didn't care. She had to get out of here, had to get some space, some air, some freaking perspective.
She was in her coat, starting to wrap her scarf around her neck when Killian showed up backstage, looking concerned.
"I've smoothed it over with Regina, love," he said. "She agrees we have enough footage to splice together a good scene."
"Good," Emma said, looking anywhere but at him.
He stopped her frantic movements with a hand to her arm. "Emma, love can we talk about this?"
She shot him a nonchalant look that was so fake a blind person could have seen it. "Nothing to talk about, Killian. It was just a kiss. Just a stage kiss. Our job, you know."
He was quiet for a moment. "It was more than that, and you're well aware of it."
Emma felt the fear claw at her, and she used that fear to fuel her anger. "Fine! Whatever it was…it was a one-time thing! Just…go, gather some firewood for your scene with Pan or something!"
He sighed deeply, but took a step back. "As you wish."
Notes:
-Happy Friday! (I really wanted to post this yesterday, because all day I felt like it was Friday, and then I got sad when I realized it wasn't, lol.) Everyone ready for this week's episode? (5x20 Firebird)? I have a feeling it's going to have some AMAZING moments for us and our favorite pirate and savior…but I also have a feeling we're in for a serious ride on the angst train. It's just too early in the arc for CS to get a TL moment, AND for Killian to be brought back to life, and the main quest of the arc to be wrapped up!
-So…with today's episode of the story…I was thinking the other day about how the actors do multiple takes for each scene they film, which, of course, means there were multiple takes of the famous Neverland kiss. (JMo has such a terrible job; I don't know how she stands it, lol.) Now, it seems clear that JMo and Colin are just good friends, and true professionals and it's all part of the job and all of that, but it made me think. What if you had a pair of actors who had feelings for each other—even if one of them would deny it up one side and down the other—and they had to do multiple takes of a scene like that. BOUND to be fireworks! And voila! The chapter was born.
-Up next: Emma, totally freaked out about the kiss incident, goes to work on rebuilding her walls as fast as she can. *sigh* Meanwhile the kiss made Killian realize the strength of his own feelings…but how is he to proceed when Emma will barely even look at him?