Dear Jon

We said goodbye to Jo this morning and it was horrible. She's just a child, so she doesn't understand. For her, the royal wedding is all flowers and prettiness and ivory brocade. In a way, I hope it stays thus: then she will not miss me as much as I will miss her.

Last night she had another nightmare, and in the morning, she was still frightened by it. She clung to my waist when we were about to leave and wouldn't let me go. When Jaime gently tried to prise her fingers away – her fingers and mine, because by that time I was holding her again – she threw her legs around my waist as well and begged me not to leave.

By the time we did manage to leave, things were a complete shitstorm. Jo was crying her heart out, and I was sobbing like some stupid baby; asking Aunt Dorna ten thousand times if she knew where this was and where that was, and what Jo liked and didn't like, and where she hid and what she said, and which things to keep far away from her (knives, inkwells and salt dispensers).

'Listen to your Aunt Dorna in all things,' I told Jo, trying to sound like a lady.

'What if she tries to make me go to sept?' Jo snivelled.

I replied, 'then run away'.

Jo started laughing uproariously, and when Aunt Dorna started scolding (just as uproariously), Janei took advantage of the situation and hopped into the carriage without saying goodbye, as though she couldn't get away sooner. The little lady flatly refuses to ride a horse to the capital and Jaime and I wouldn't be caught dead in a carriage. The three of us have placed bets on which of us will try to kill the other first (Janei's money is on Jaime and me trying to kill each other).

I'm worried about Jo. She's five years old, swears like a pirate and never stops tearing her clothes from being up trees and under furniture. I know that it's my fault for not being an example of a proper lady, but it's not as if Jo lives without any example AT ALL – Aunt Dorna is thoroughly ladylike and practises often – but is so religious and so stuffy that she might as well be a septa. I try very hard to act like a lady, and in public, I think, I succeed. In private, I don't try at all. Neither does Jaime. I know that we should try. I know that we have to. I know I should get someone to help both me and Jaime. But then I think of my own suffering under the tutelage of poor Septa Mordane, and once I've stopped feeling bad for speaking ill of the dead, I think about taking Jo and forcing her into a world where she does what she has to and what she is expected to, not what she wants to. I know you can't always get what you want, but…fuck it, Jon. I don't know what to do. A few days ago the question of marriage was discussed at breakfast. Marriage. Jaime nearly had a stroke. What the fuck do we do if someone wants to marry her, or if at some point for some stupid, unknown reason she has to marry; such as if the law of inheritance doesn't get changed? I just want her to be happy. As she is now, she never will be. And yet I also want her to be herself, and to be free. What do I do?

Jo asks about you very regularly, and she made me promise to ask you to always keep Ghost close at hand. She keeps having a dream in which he runs away from you and doesn't come back. I've tried explaining that poor Ghost probably just needed to take a piss, but she would not be dissuaded. Jaime also sends his love, and wishes to know whether or not you've been to Mole's Town yet.

Alright, I could very well have omitted that last part, but being a fight-intermediary is too much fun for the moment.

Stay warm and remember to eat.

With love

Arya.

Little sister

You are not a bad mother or a bad example. The world is just a complicated place. If you need help, find someone who understands that, and they will be of more use to you than an army of septas.

As to marriage, you are worrying about nothing. Even if the law of inheritance doesn't change, you are Joanna's mother. You're the person who decides if she has to marry – though if she's any child of yours, I think she'll have her own ideas on the matter.

Ghost is away from me quite a lot these days: he doesn't find sitting between four walls very exciting. Sometimes I don't either, but I know that nobody can do this but me. I don't care if I sound arrogant. It's just the way it is. Tell Jo that Ghost only leaves me to hunt. It's only half-untrue.

As for Jaime, you may tell him that the answer to his question is up his own arse.

You stay warm and remember to eat.

I love you

Jon