Taking Back Neverland, pt. 7

CS Genre: AU (Actors who "hate" each other)

Somehow, she wasn't entirely sure how, Emma made it through the rest of filming that week. Things were…awkward at best between her and Killian. She saw him shooting her looks. He wanted to talk to her about "the incident", as she'd termed it in her mind, she knew that well enough. He'd even tried to bring it up a time or two.

After the third time she'd bluntly walked away the moment things started getting anywhere close to serious, he'd finally taken the hint and stopped bringing it up.

It didn't stop the way he looked at her, though. Even Regina commented on it, rolling her eyes and muttering something about "yearning looks and doe-y eyes".

Emma got in her yellow bug on Friday night and let out the breath she hadn't remembered she was holding. TGIF. She needed the weekend like air. She needed a chance to…process all the crap from this week. She needed a breather from Mr. Lovesick Pirate. She just needed to be away from it all.

Not that the rest of the week had been bad, per se. They'd filmed a couple of romantic scenes: the scene in the echo caves where Hook admitted to Anna that he was falling in love with her and the scene where he vowed to win her heart, and those had been a bit…awkward, but other than that, she'd enjoyed the scenes she filmed this week.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. There was also that scene in Dark Hollow where Pan's shadow almost killed Hook and Baelfire. That one had left Emma utterly drained. It had taken her a while to get into the proper mindset for the scene. It was just hard to dredge up the appropriate amount of panic when your scene partners are standing on platforms against a green screen, just thrashing around and yelling at nothing.

She'd closed her eyes, tried to imagine someone she cared for in mortal danger, the feelings that would be coursing through her in that situation, but it was easier said and done. The truth was, the only way she was able to dredge up the appropriate amount of panic was thinking about Killian being killed. She imagined him being stabbed in the back by David. She imagined him with a huge, gaping wound in his neck, bleeding out. She imagined being forced to run him through with a sword herself.

It was after that last one that she was able to summon enough panic as she called Hook's name to satisfy Regina.

Emma didn't want to think about what that said about her.

Well, she didn't need to. She was headed for the weekend; a weekend where she could totally forget a certain piercing-eyed, smoldering pirate even existed.

~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~

Sunday night David and Mary Margaret had Emma over to their house for dinner. Emma had, at first, flat out refused to come, remembering the last time Mary Margaret had asked her to dinner, which had resulted in a one-on-one meal with Killian.

But Mary Margaret had absolutely assured her she would be their only guest. She'd further said there was something she and David wanted to tell her, and had sounded so dejected at Emma's rejection, that Emma had finally relented.

When she'd arrived at the Nolans' around four o'clock Sunday afternoon, both her brother and sister-in-law were busy in the kitchen, the smell of roasting chicken filled the air. Emma's mouth watered at the scent.

Emma let herself into the house with her spare key, and from the look of things, David and Mary Margaret hadn't heard her come in. They stood impossibly close together at the kitchen counter, punctuating their chopping of vegetables with tenderly murmured words and smiles. It made Emma unaccountably sad to see their closeness, their obvious love. Don't get her wrong, she was happy for her brother and sister-in-law and their happiness, but…well, she'd never have that, never let herself have that, and sometimes…sometimes she just felt lonely.

When David leaned in for what was obviously going to be the kind of kiss that would scar Emma for life, she decided it was definitely time to let her presence be known. She cleared her throat, and David and Mary Margaret jumped apart, clearly startled.

"Oh, Emma!" Mary Margaret said, "we didn't hear you come in!"

"Yeah," Emma said dryly. "I could see that."

Mary Margaret smiled. "Can I get you something to drink? We're just finishing up the veggies. I'll get these guys in the oven to roast, and then dinner will be in about an hour."

Emma shook her head. "No thanks; I'm good for now. Smells great in here. I always love it when you invite me to dinner; whatever you cook is always amazing."

Mary Margaret blushed slightly, shrugging. "I like doing it. I like taking care of my husband and family. Besides, when I'm the one to do the cooking, I can almost always guilt David into offering to do the dishes."

"Hey!" David said with a mock scowl. "I'm standing right here!"

Emma laughed, noting how incredibly happy the two of them seemed today. They were always happy together, but there seemed to be something…extra…today. She wondered why.

"You two seem to be in good moods today," Emma said, filching a carrot stick from Mary Margaret's veggie tray. "Any special reason?"

The two of them looked at each other, their smiles growing impossibly wider. Finally, Mary Margaret reached for her husband's hand and then turned back to Emma. "As a matter of fact there is. That's why we wanted to invite you over tonight; we wanted to tell you the news."

"We're expecting!" David cut in. "In just under eight months, there'll be a bouncing new baby Nolan in the world!"

"Really?" Emma asked with a smile. "It finally happened? That's great! I know how long you guys have wanted a kid!"

Mary Margaret stepped forward and hugged Emma. "I know! We're over the moon! Just found out a couple of weeks ago. We've decided to wait until I cross the twelve-week mark to make it public to the rest of the world, but I just couldn't wait any longer to tell you!"

Emma hugged her sister-in-law back. "I'm really happy for you both. This is one lucky kid to have the two of you as parents. And, of course, it goes without saying that Aunt Emma is going to spoil the little guy or girl like crazy."

"I know!" Mary Margaret said. "I am so excited! I can't wait to get started on the nursery, and find all the cute little baby clothes and everything else. I'm hoping Granny at the diner will offer to knit the baby a blanket! Her blankets are the best. Oh, and you know that other night? I know you thought David and I were just trying to matchmake when we left you with Killian, but I really was sick! Let me tell you, 'morning sickness' is the most misleading name ever! It should be called 'every part of the day I'm breathing sickness'. Definitely not my favorite part of being pregnant. I'm hoping…Emma? Is everything okay?"

Emma realized she'd looked away, her lips turning down in a slight frown. Mention of Killian and that dinner…well, it brought back all the stress and awkwardness of the past week's filming, and she just…she just wanted the confusing feelings to stop.

"Yeah," she said, forcing a falsely-bright smile on her face. "Just great!"

It was obvious she hadn't remotely convinced her perceptive sister-in-law. Mary Margaret shot her husband a significant look, and David muttered something about wanting to see what was going on in the game, making a hasty exit.

"Now," Mary Margaret said, as soon as it was just the two of them, "I think we both know that's not true. Your face fell as soon as I mentioned Killian. This is me, remember? Your old roommate. I know when something's bothering you. Anything you want to talk about?"

Emma was silent for a moment, but finally sighed, dropping into a chair at the kitchen table. Maybe it would be best to get this off her chest. Maybe if she just…talked about it, she could make this confusing mix of feelings within her go away—attraction, the kind of excitement that accompanies a new crush, fear, dread.

"I kissed him," Emma said finally.

Mary Margaret took a deliberate sip of her tea, clearly trying to appear casual. "Um…who?" she asked.

"Killian," Emma said. "I kissed Killian."

"Well, yes," Mary Margaret said slowly. "That was, after all, what the script called for."

"No," Emma said, fighting the panic threatening to well up. "I mean..yes, that's when it happened, but…but it wasn't just the script. I…I was really kissing him, and he was really kissing me back!"

"Oh," Mary Margaret said, "well…why?"

"I don't know!" Emma said, getting to her feet and starting to pace. "At first, I just wanted to get it over with, and then I just…wanted to see what kissing him would be like and, I don't know! It's been a while?"

"Did it…mean anything?"

The question made Emma's heart race, the fear coming fast and hard. "No!" she insisted a bit too vehemently. "It was just a kiss! It couldn't mean anything!"

Mary Margaret was silent for a moment. Finally she patted the chair beside hers. "Emma, have a seat."

After a moment, Emma did as she was told. "If this is going to be another one of your patented 'love is worth it and you have to hold on to hope' speeches, you know you've already used them all on me, right?"

Mary Margaret smiled. "Well, it's a good thing, then, that that's not what this is."

"Okay…so what is this?"

"Emma," she said gently, "that kiss wasn't nothing, and you know it."

"What?" Emma squeaked, "of course it was! It was…"

"No Emma," Mary Margaret said with a gentle shake of her head. "I know you! You never would have brought it up if it was nothing. You're running scared; I see it in your eyes. You're terrified if you let down those walls, Killian will hurt you, and you know what? I can't promise he won't; no one can."

"Is this supposed to be a pep talk?" Emma asked dryly.

"Absolutely! But that's not the pep talk part. It's coming up. I know what Neal and Walsh did to you. I know what absolute scum-of-the-earth losers they were! I know those experiences make it hard to move on, but just think about something, alright?"

"Okay, what do you want me to think about?"

"Don't let them keep hurting you," Mary Margaret said gently. "Don't let the terrible things they did to you keep festering forever. Don't let them rob you of the amazing happiness you could have—whether it's with Killian or with someone else. I can promise you from personal experience with your brother that knights in shining armor still exist."

~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~

Killian sighed as he slid into the usual booth at the Big Bad Wolf. He was the first one there; Dave and Robin must be held up in traffic. Signaling the waiter, he ordered a shot of rum, and then turned to stare out the window. It was a beautiful night. Warm for autumn, the leaves just beginning to turn.

Too bad he couldn't enjoy it as he'd like. Much as he enjoyed evenings with the lads, this weather was tailor made for a romantic stroll with one's sweetheart.

If only his own sweetheart weren't so blasted insistent on avoiding him like the plague.

The only time the lovely Miss Emma Swan would so much as speak to him was when they were performing and she had no choice.

Was he truly such loathsome company? Had that kiss truly been so terrible for her that she could no longer even stand to look at him?

Because for him, it had been the farthest thing from terrible. It had been all he'd imagined and so much more. It had been life-changing—in a very literal way. The kiss exposed something he would have never expected. Finally, finally after years of pain and regret he could put Milah in the past. Though there'd likely always be a place in his heart for his first love, that kiss had shown him that a new love had entered his heart.

A love that delighted and frustrated him in equal measure. How was a man to react when the object of his love wanted nothing to do with him?

Robin and David walked in, talking and laughing, distracting Killian briefly from his brooding. "You lot appear to be enjoying yourselves," he said glumly.

"Yeah, it's been a good day," David said, "you, on the other hand, my friend, look like hell."

Killian quirked his brow. "I'll have you know my fans waiting outside the studio this afternoon assured me I'm as devilishly handsome as ever."

Robin snorted a laugh. "Did the masses catch you this time, mate?"

Killian grinned, shaking his head. "I'll say one thing for your fiancée. She's found a hell of a security firm. Bloody convenient when you're in no mood to smile and give autographs."

David shot him a suspicious look. "Seems there are a lot of bad moods going around lately. Emma was certainly feeling none too pleased at dinner yesterday. Anything you need to tell me 'mate'?"

Killian rolled his eyes. David was a good man, a good friend, but from time to time he was more protective than a Rottweiler. "If you're not so subtly asking if I caused your sister pain, the answer is no—at least not purposely."

"From her reaction to your scenes today," Robin said, taking a swig of his beer that the waitress had just brought him, "I'd say you caused her anger rather than pain."

"Picked up on that too did you?" Killian asked dryly. "What gave it away? Was it the fact that she won't willingly say two words to me outside of shooting or the very clear gusto with which she performed today's scene where Anna lays into Hook and Baelfire for fighting over her and almost getting us all killed?"

"Both. Assuredly both."

Killian sighed again. "We were getting along quite nicely until we filmed that bloody kiss!"

"What happened with the kiss?" David growled.

"It was real," Killian said. "That was no stage kiss, Dave. For either one of us. Clearly she regrets what happened between us, and I haven't a clue how to restore our relationship."

David's face turned even more forbidding. "I think it's time you and I have a little talk about your intentions toward my sister, Killian."

Killian shot him an amused look. "That's a bit old-fashioned even for me, mate, and I play a man who still pays with doubloons."

"Maybe so," David said stubbornly, "but I know your reputation. I know about all the women you've cavorted with in the past few years."

"Aye," Killian said, turning serious. "Perhaps I did like to keep company with the ladies in the past, but I assure you, I wouldn't spend so much time pursuing a relationship with a woman I see merely as loot."

David continued to stare daggers at him for another moment, and then he nodded. Picking up his own mug of beer, he took a long sip before speaking again. "So you're interested in a relationship, are you?"

Killian nodded. "That kiss…I never believed I could get over my first love, my Milah. That is until I met Emma."

David clapped him on the shoulder. "That's great! You'll be good for her!"

"I wouldn't be so sure, Dave," Killian said, with a dubious shake of his head. "It takes more than one person's interest to make a relationship. Your sister seems to want nothing to do with me."

To Killian's surprise, both his mates began laughing. Uproariously.

"You think she doesn't like you?" Robin asked, wiping at the tears in his eyes. "Killian, even that dog the on-set shrink brings to set can see the way she looks at you. Definitely not unaffected by your charm, that one!"

"I'll second that," David said. "Did you ever watch her TV show, Killian?"

Killian furrowed his brows. "Aye; what does that have to do with anything?"

"Did you happen to catch her more romantic scenes with the sheriff?" David went on. "The director on set insisted those love scenes be so passionate they got right up to the line of what they were allowed to show on network television."

"Aye. What of it mate?"

"Just this," David said. "I was on set with her from time to time; watched her film. Although, let me tell you, watching your sister film scenes like that…not fun. Not fun at all. Do you know what happened when the director yelled 'cut'?"

"I haven't a clue."

"She and Graham Humbert stepped away from each other and immediately went back to their normal talking, laughing, friendly colleague relationship. No awkwardness, no blushing. Making out with the sheriff was just her job, and it meant nothing because all she felt for Graham was friendship. If she's reacting that strongly to your one on-screen kiss, that speaks volumes about the fact that she's anything but indifferent to you."

"Is that truly what you believe?" Killian asked, hardly daring to hope.

"How much do you know about Emma's past?" David asked.

"She told me a bit about Neal and Walsh."

David nodded. "Then you understand a little bit. She's been hurt badly, but it wasn't only what those sons of bitches did to her. You know, she was in the system for years before my mom adopted her. She's told me a few stories about her experiences in foster homes, and let me tell you. They're far from pretty. Some of the things her foster parents did to her…well, I'll just say you do not want the details. Anyway, the point is, from birth, Emma's learned that you can't trust people; you can't let yourself care for them. They'll only hurt you."

"And so she doesn't trust in the sincerity of my affection for her?" Killian asked.

"I doubt it," David said, shaking his head. "And even if she senses you do mean it…I know Emma. She's wondering just how long you'll stick around. She's wondering how soon it'll be before you break her heart too."

Killian's own heart broke at the picture Swan's brother painted for him. This poor lost girl, starving for love, being abandoned, betrayed, sent away again and again. No wonder Emma was afraid to trust him.

"So what do you suggest I do, mate?"

"Stick around," David said simply. "Show her you're in this for the long haul. Maybe give her a little space; show you do care about her boundaries, but make it clear as well that you'll always be there for her when she needs you."

For the first time all day, Killian really truly smiled. "I can do that. It would, indeed, be my very great pleasure."

Notes:

-Happy Friday again! Can you believe we're already only one week from the finale? This arc has flown by! It's been a busy week, but given the beautiful pain of the last episode (I spent the first half of the week in denial, insisting the episode ended right after CS passed the TL test, lol), I figured this was definitely not the week to skip the fluff!

-Not much CS interaction in this chapter, but the two of them had some good conversations with Snowing—the ultimate TL couple! I think, even if she's scared, Emma's starting to come around, at least a bit.

-Up next: Killian tells Emma he's going to back off as she clearly wants. He keeps his word…and she finds she misses him. What will she decide to do about it…?

-Scheduling note: This week my church's music director resigned, and my priest asked me to step into her position in the interim until they're able to hire someone else. The result? I'm about to get really, really busy. I may have no choice but to cut back on non-essential things. I'll finish the Taking Back Neverland plot (2 more chapters of that) on the regular schedule, but after that, I may have to update Fluffy Fridays a little less frequently (maybe more like once or twice a month, rather than once a week.)