The Swan Princess, pt. 6

CS Genre: Lieutenant Duckling

Emma's last month with Killian passed with a swiftness she wouldn't have believed possible. It had been an idyllic summer, full of picnics, carriage rides and outings of all sorts. The pair generally started out their daily excursions in a pleasant foursome with Liam and Elsa, but as Killian's brother and Emma's dearest friend became ever closer, it became increasingly more uncomfortable to spend any significant amount of time with them.

Before Emma knew it, it was suddenly here, the day before the Jones brothers were to set sail on their new deployment. They'd accompany Elsa home to Arendelle first, and then they'd join two other ships of the line at the border of Camelot. It was said the new king, Arthur Pendragon was behaving in a suspicious manner—something having to do with Sands of Avalon or some such thing, apparently—and Emma's father wanted to make it clear to the "once and future king" that he intended to brook no attack on the Enchanted Forest. The result was that the Jones brothers would be away for a minimum of six months and most likely a full year.

How Emma was to survive without the man whose friendship meant more to her than all the gold in her family's treasury was beyond her.

Emma sighed gently as the early autumn breeze caressed her face and the increasingly more colorful leaves of the tree above her.

"Something troubling you, love?" Killian asked, idly reaching over to toy with her fingers. He'd always been physically affectionate with her, but he seemed to seek her touch even more ever since the day she'd noticed him giving her those strange yearning looks. Emma hadn't a clue what to think of it. Part of her thrilled to the feel of his large, calloused hand in hers, felt a spark like lightning travel from whatever point of impact he was making straight through to her heart. But part of her wanted to run as far from his touch as possible. Life was so much easier when they were both carefree children for whom the thought of romance hadn't even crossed their minds.

"No, not really," Emma said, her voice sounding unconvinced even to her own ears.

"Come now, Swan," Killian said, turning to her with a teasing grin. "I've been your closest confidante for nigh on a decade now. Surely you realize you're an open book to me. I know when you're prevaricating, and you, love, are most definitely prevaricating."

Emma reached over with her free hand and playfully swatted his shoulder. "What is it with you and your big words? You sound like some sort of university professor rather than a sailor."

"One does not become an officer in your father's prestigious navy without a certain degree of learning, Swan," Killian said, "and as I plan to one day follow in my esteemed brother's footsteps and become an officer like him, I've done all in my power to prepare myself."

Emma looked closely at Killian, noting the hint of self-doubt that so often seemed to plague him. "You listen to me, Killian Jones," she said fiercely. "You are as smart and as capable and as courageous as any man in my father's military! You have no need to look up to anyone, save maybe Liam. You'll be captain one day, mark my words!"

Spontaneously, Killian leaned over and kissed her cheek, then, he abruptly froze, eyes widened comically, evidently suddenly aware of what he'd just done. Killian sat back quickly, dropped his eyes to the blanket on which they sat, and promptly blushed to the very tips of his ears. Reaching up, he scratched at the back of his ear, mumbling. "I apologize for my forwardness, Swan."

Emma felt her own cheeks heat at the gentle kiss, really no more than a brush of his lips against her cheek. Her heart beat so hard, she feared it would leap right out of her chest, and she was suddenly hyper-aware of the bright blue of Killian's eyes, the scruff along his jaw, the fresh, clean scent of his hair. This was…confusing and awkward and…she didn't know if she liked it.

Part of her wanted to grab his lapels and haul him in for a proper kiss just to see if his lips would feel as soft and velvety against her own as they did against her cheek. Part of her lamented the fact that the easy, uncomplicated friendship the two of them shared for so long was at a definitive end.

Killian cleared his throat. "You never answered my original question; not really, at least. What trouble's you, lass?"

Emma shrugged, the pain of the impending separation washing over her again. "I just…Killian, you'll be gone an entire year, most likely. I know this is what you want; it's your dream to sail the realm with your brother, and I'd never try to stop you or talk you out of it, but…I will miss you terribly."

His face became soft, tender. Raising one large hand, he cupped her cheek, letting a few silky strands of her hair glide through his fingers. "And I you, Swan. A year will feel like an eternity apart from you, my love."

My love?! Had Killian just called her his love? That was enough to have her scramble abruptly back to her side of the blanket. (Did she thrill to the sound of the endearment…or want to get as far away from it as humanly possible? She didn't know!)

Killian seemed to realize what he'd said a moment after it left his lips, and, if possible, his blush grew even deeper. He cleared his throat, scratched at that offending place behind his ear once more, and then turned a deliberately carefree grin in her direction. "But fear not, Emma, the year will rush by, and I'll write to you every week—twice a week when I'm able. Just think about all the adventures I'll have to share with you when I return!"

Emma smiled, grateful he'd pulled back to a place of easy friendship, letting the potentially romantic moment go for the time being. "And I'll write you to. It'll be…"

Abruptly, Emma cut off, as Elsa and Liam, on their own blanket some twenty feet away from them, caught her eye. Liam leaned down, capturing Elsa's lips with his own, his hand going for her hair as she reached up to pull him closer to her.

Noticing the direction of Emma's gaze, Killian grinned and then averted his eyes. He got gracefully to his feet, and then offered Emma his hand to help her do the same. "It would appear our company is no longer needed nor desired, love. What say we go make sure our carriage is ready to take us back to the palace? I've no doubt you ladies will wish to get back soon in order to don whatever frills and baubles you wish to wear to this evening's ball.

And with that, the two returned to the horses, talking and laughing as only old friends can, the strange tension and intimacy of the afternoon nearly forgotten.

~l~d~l~d~l~d~l~d~l~d

The farewell ball for the sailors of the Jewell of the Realm was one of the most splendid Killian had ever seen. Killian was humbled at all the trouble King David and Queen Snow had gone to to make the event so grand.

He felt a heavy hand clap onto his shoulder, and he looked up into the smiling face of his older brother. "You wear the uniform well, brother," Liam said. "The lovely Princess Emma will be swept off her feet when she sees how devilishly handsome you are."

"Leave off, Liam!" Killian said, shrugging his brother's hand from his shoulder.

Liam laughed, but then sobered when he noticed the depth of Killian's discomfort. "Killian, I mean no harm. You know that, right? You're all the family I have left on this world and I'd never wish to put a rift between us."

Killian nodded vigorously. "Of course not, brother! I know you mean nothing with your teasing, it's only…"

"Only what?"

"I've no idea how to conduct myself around Emma anymore," Killian lamented, letting the remainder of his explanation fall from his lips in a rush. "I…I care for her. As more than merely my best friend. She's lovely in every respect. Beautiful, of course, but also kind, spirited and strong as anyone I've ever met. I'm utterly captivated by her."

"Aye," Liam said with a gentle smile. "I've seen that quite well for myself. So what's the problem, little brother?"

"Younger brother," Killian said absently. He paused for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. "I can't be at all sure of the lady's feelings toward me. At times, she seems open to my advances, seems to crave them, even, but at other times, it seems as though she wishes to run screaming from me. What is a man to make of such behavior?"

Liam rested an almost fatherly hand on his shoulder once more. "I'd wager the answer is quite simple. Your fair lady is conflicted herself. She feels something of a tender nature herself, to be sure, but she's afraid of what that might mean—for her and for your relationship in general."

Killian groaned in frustration. "And what am I to do? We'll be gone for a year! I cannot leave matters with Emma as they currently stand—in flux, uncomfortable, stilted! She's my dearest friend, Liam! I wish to be on good terms with her; wish to smooth over this awkwardness before we're separated for such a long time!"

"Ask her to dance," Liam said gently. "Find a quiet moment to speak with her and share your heart, Killian. Let her know how you feel about her."

"And if she rejects me? If she doesn't feel as I do?"

"That, unfortunately, is the risk one needs to take if he wishes his relationship to advance," Liam said. "Falling in love is a frightening business, brother. There's never a guarantee your feelings will be requited, but it's a surety that you'll never find happiness with a true love if you don't have the courage to lay your heart before her."

"And…" Killian asked tentatively, "have you done as much with your own love?"

Liam's eyes turned gentle. "Aye. Just last night I told Queen Elsa that I love her with everything within me. To my delight, she confessed her feelings are equally as strong. We aren't betrothed yet. We have, after all, only known each other a mere month, but I know in my heart that she's the only woman I'll ever wish to take as my wife. We plan to revisit the subject when our tour of duty is over and we've seen if our love can stand the test of time and distance."

Killian grinned. "I'm delighted for you, Liam. I hope everything works out…"

But whatever Killian wished to say was suddenly wiped from his mind as Grumpy the majordomo suddenly announced the arrival of Queen Elsa and Princess Emma. His lovely Swan was, simply put, breathtaking. She wore a long, white gown, fitted through the bodice, with long sleeves belling out. She wore her hair down and curly, a circlet of flowers and ribbons sitting on top.

An angel from heaven couldn't have been more lovely.

Beside him, Liam gasped, no doubt at the loveliness of his own lady, and the Jones brothers waited in rapt attention as the women descended toward them.

Killian felt his heart pause and then race as his Emma finally reached him, smiled radiantly and then curtsied before him.

"You put the stars to shame love," he murmured, taking her hand in his and pressing his lips fervently to its back.

Emma smiled, shaking her head teasingly. "I bet you say that to all the ladies, sailor."

"Hardly," he said, barking out a laugh. "I've only eyes for one woman in this ball room."

Emma's cheeks pinked gently, and it only added to her stunning beauty. "Well, I have to say, you're not looking too bad yourself in your new uniform. Quite striking, Killian."

Killian grinned. "Aye," he said with a teasing grin, "Liam's assured me I'm dashingly handsome. How would the lovely Princess Emma like to give this dashing rapscallion her first dance."

To his joy, Emma took his outstretched hand, giving him a second curtsy. "There's no one else I'd want to give it to."

Killian felt a rush of affection, even love, as he took Emma into his arms and twirled with her around the dance floor. She felt so good in his arms, her smile radiant, her hair a fragrant cloud down her back, her laughter and happy comments music to his ears. Killian had never taken a drink of stronger spirits, but he'd wager he knew what it felt to be drunk. He was intoxicated on his lady fair, and he wished he could freeze this moment in time and never let her go.

But all too soon the dance came to an end, and her father was there, asking to cut in for the next dance. If Killian wasn't mistaken, Emma turned from him reluctantly, a look of longing replacing the bliss on her face.

Aye, perhaps Liam was right. Perhaps tonight was the night he should lay his heart on the line before her.

And so he did as the lovely, magical night was beginning to draw to an end.

Emma smiled and dabbed at a line of perspiration on her brow. "Killian, I think I need a break! We've danced so much tonight, I'm likely going to be sore tomorrow!"

"Well we can't have that love," Killian said, smiling slightly. He felt his nerves begin to kick up. Now was the time to speak to his Emma, or he'd lose his nerve.

Emma must have seen something of his nerves in his face because her brows creased and she looked at him with concern. "Is something the matter Killian?"

"No, not at all," he answered, taking a deep breath. "But it has become quite warm in the ball room. Perhaps we might take a stroll in your father's middlemist garden?"

She reached for his hand, lacing their fingers as she smiled gently at him. "That sounds lovely."

They walked silently through the French doors off the ball room into the royal middlemist garden. It was a slow, easy stroll, one that would have been comfortable, friendly, if it wasn't for Killian's nerves about the conversation to come. Finally, feeling he would go mad with the anxiety if he waited any longer, Killian reached down, plucked one delicate pink flower and offered it to Emma.

She took it with a murmured thanks, brought it to her nose, and then placed it in her hair, next to her white circlet of flowers.

Gesturing with his free hand, Killian led Emma to a delicately carved bench beneath a magnificent old tree.

"Emma," he started, his voice wobbling slightly with his nerves. "There's something I wished to discuss with you before I take my leave tomorrow."

He watched the wariness replace the contentment in her eyes, and he swallowed hard, trying not to take her expression as a bad sign of things to come.

"Swan," he said, "you must know, you must have seen how deeply I've come to care for you."

Her sharp intake of breath was her only reaction.

"I don't tell you to pressure you or make you uncomfortable. I expect nothing from you love, unless you wish to give it, but I cannot go another day without letting you know that…that I'm in love with you Emma Swan. So terribly, so desperately in love. You are the very sun and stars to me, and my life was infinitely enriched when you entered it."

"Killian…" she began hesitantly after a long silence, "Killian, I…"

He read rejection in her pauses, in her conflicted eyes, and it felt as though a dagger pierced his heart.

"It's no matter, Swan," He said, getting hastily to his feet and affecting unconcern. "As I said, I expect nothing from you in return. I just wished to tell you before we're parted. And now I have, so, perhaps we'd best return to the ballroom?"

He turned, preparing to rush away from his disappointment and embarrassment, but he got no more than two steps before he felt her gentle hand on his arm, stopping him. He didn't resist as she turned him toward her.

"I think you misunderstand, Killian," she said, looking intently into his eyes. "I…I'm not rejecting you. It's just…I feel so confused; I hardly know which end is up. I value your friendship more than anything in this world and I'm terrified to do or say anything that might risk that…"

"You've no need to fear, Love," he said, cupping her cheek, unable to help himself. "You'll have my friendship to the end of your days regardless of what transpires between us."

She reached up to hold his hand against her cheek. "And you'll have mine. I…I don't know what to say. I…I definitely have feelings for you, but I don't even know what they are, how to process them. I don't know what I want or…or what I need from you, and…well… Please, Killian, don't give up on me! I'll figure it all out in time. Just…please be patient."

And then she moved forward, stepping on her tiptoes, leaning ever closer to him until her lips brushed his in a slow, gentle kiss. Killian savored it, memorizing every sensation, every feeling, every beat of his heart. He wanted to pull her closer, to bury his hands in her hair, to tilt her head and deepen the kiss, but she wasn't ready for that yet, not nearly. Killian merely followed his lady's lead, let her set the pace, confirming with his lips what his words had declared a moment before.

All too soon the kiss came to an end, Emma slowly pulling away. "I'll wait for you until the end of time, if I must, my Emma," he whispered as he gazed down on her dazed, smiling face.

And when Killian went off on his first tour of duty the next morning, he held the memory of Swan's sweet kiss with him, savoring it like the most precious treasure he owned. He would win her heart one day. Of that he was determined, but he would do so honorably, on her terms.

A year without her would feel like a lifetime, but she'd given him hope, and as her mother was so quick to remind, happy endings always begin with hope.

Notes: Well there you have it, the next part of this multi-chapter! This particular chapter was longer than normal, but I really wanted to get through the ball without it having to bleed into the next chapter! This portion of the story was particularly fluffy and romantic, but beware a complication is coming!

-Up next: While Killian is away at sea, Emma meets a new suitor, but when she gently turns down his advances, her heart already rather significantly belonging to a certain handsome sailor, he's more than a little disappointed. When his powerful father learns his son's been spurned…well, he makes his displeasure known...and delivers quite the ultimatum. Emma takes refuge with a powerful relative of her own, but can she find a way out of her predicament without anyone getting hurt—including herself?