Title: All the Little Children

Word count: Over 27k. And something like 57 pages in MS Word.

Summary: Ocean Stars Falling is the story of a bunch of human superweapons running loose in One Piece and kicking over things. This is the story of what might've happened if there were entirely different rules. Stars the ASL brothers and the FNG gang.

Pairings: None.

Warnings: Garp's idea of child-rearing, death threats, implications of violence and death, implied abuse/neglect, enthusiastic swearing (on the parts of the kids with no manners, mainly).

Fū sighed. "Chōmei? Chōmei, you can stop laughing any time now."

"You're upside-down in a tree, Fū! This is about the unluckiest I've ever seen you," Chōmei squeaked in response, his voice much higher than it had ever been in Fū's life. He sounded like a child, not a mighty Tailed Beast. He didn't sound like the beetle she'd spent her whole life befriending.

Then again, Fū thought as she reached up to undo the vines tangled around her legs, he's never been this small before. "Well, you're not wrong. I guess it's a change for both of us."

Chōmei made a sad little humming noise, angling his head upward toward her as she dropped from the canopy. Her best friend had either shrunk or gotten way younger, because he didn't even have his signature orange wings or blue armor anymore. Instead, he was a red-eyed beetle larva the length of her forearm and about four times as wide. While he had tiny nubs for legs, and seven longer ones to represent the spots where his wings and tail would someday grow in, Chōmei was almost helpless now.

Fū knelt next to him, and he climbed into her lap. He didn't feel slimy, just cool and a bit squishy. Fū ran her hands over his head, then let him grip her fingers in his mandibles. "I don't know where we are, Chōmei. None of the trees look the same."

"They look almost the same from my viewpoint." Chōmei clambered up her arm and across her shoulders, to where her empty scroll-holster sat strapped to her back. "It's lucky you have this, Fū. You can carry me without hands."

"I'm just worried you're gonna be stuck like this, Chōmei," Fū replied, helping her beleaguered companion into his new carrier. "Don't you wanna just fly?"

"I do, but maybe you should check if you still can? That would be a lucky break, wouldn't it?" Chōmei sounded cheerful, his tinny voice accented by the thumps of his tail-stubs against his fabric seat.

Fū grinned at her friend's attitude, then put her hands together. "Let's try it, then!"

While Chōmei was small, his chakra flowed through her body the same as it always did. Orange wings, identical to the ones that Chōmei should've had, sprouted from her back just below the edge of her shirt. She flapped her rings rapidly, making them go almost invisible to the naked eye through sheer speed, and then hopped experimentally.

In no time at all, she was flying as though Chōmei hadn't lost size and mobility.

"This is so different from when I'm flying!" Chōmei said, sticking his head out of the carrier as they flew through the lower sections of the trees. "You know, once I get back to normal, we should try this again. It's nice relying on you instead."

"I'm glad you think so," Fū said, as they skittered through the air a few more times to get their bearings, "but help me look out for trees!"

Really, it wasn't all that different from flying with any old weight on her back. Fū already knew how to compensate for training devices, her bedroll, and a million other things. Chōmei being alive and occasionally moving was a little weird, but he was so happy about the situation that Fū didn't feel the slightest bit discouraged. He was her little pep-talk in a bag.

Practicing, though, was necessary. Fū remembered how tough it'd been to learn how to fly in the first place, and she needed to be careful in case Chōmei wasn't as tough as he used to be.

"Fū, I have a suggestion," Chōmei said, after they'd been flying level for a few minutes. "Can we go that way? I feel like it's a lucky direction."

"North?" Fū asked, coming to stop on a high tree branch. "What makes north so lucky?"

"I think I can feel other Tailed Beasts over there! Meeting with two of my siblings would be really lucky." Chōmei wriggled his tails. "I haven't seen them in a really long time."

Fū paused for a second. She'd never met Chōmei's family, but she had heard that they were stuck with other hosts. Would the other jinchūriki be friendly or not? Regardless of the answer, she owed it to Chōmei to make sure he could see his family again. She didn't really know what else to do.

"Okay, we can do that." Fū flitted into the air again. "Oh, can you tell me stories about them as we go?"

"Of course, Fū!"

Fū and Chōmei didn't go nearly at their highest speeds, because the warm forest was way too dense. Flying too fast would lead straight into a crash, and Fū didn't need to have another one of those under her belt. That flying slowly meant Chōmei's voice could soothe her during the trip was a great benefit, too. His voice was different now, but he could talk for hours and hours without needing to breathe or to drink water for a break. Even with the noise in the jungle, it helped to have one consistent, friendly face along for the ride.

"Aaaaaaah! Somebody help meeeee!"

Fū jerked to a stop in midair, wings buzzing anxiously. "Someone's in trouble."

"Go," said Chōmei, and Fū flew in the direction of the screams.

Fū zipped through the warm forest air, weaving around and over trees and underbrush as she made her way toward the sounds of both screams and wolves howling in the afternoon light.

She hit the ground and rolled when she reached the edge of a ravine, then dove down toward the screams without hesitation, feet-first.

She landed on a wolf the size of a cow, shoving its whole head straight into the dirt below under the weight of her flapping wings and her chakra-charged stomp. Its jaw slammed shut mere centimeters from a screaming kid half Fū's size, sending bits of teeth and blood everywhere. Before jumping off to face the rest of the pack, Fū gave it one more stomp for good measure.

"Six on one's not a fair fight, you jerks!" Fū shouted, as the wolves near the back of the pack started to reconsider their choices. "Let's make it three!"

"A fairy?!" screeched the kid behind her.

Not the best reaction to a heroic entrance Fū had ever heard, but she'd take it. Dropping into a taijutsu pose, even with Chōmei on her back and her wings still buzzing, Fū said, "Chōmei, ready?"

Chōmei spat a glob of silk directly at the face of a wolf coming up behind Fū, hitting it perfectly. "You know it! Let's show them it's not their lucky day!"

"D-don't forget about me!" said the kid with the straw hat, and the three of them fought the wolves together.

Sure, most of the fight came down to Fū's punishing kicks and her wings battering the wolves when her legs didn't, but the kid did what he could even if wild flailing punches was the extent of it. Chōmei kept both eyes on him, for the sake of making sure their rescue went all the way through. And shot more silk at the wolves.

In the end, Fū left a pile of broken wolf bodies lying all over the rocks. Some of them had silk on them, of course, but she didn't have time for getting rid of that kind of inconsequential evidence. All she did was blow on her knuckles to make sure they hadn't split, then went to check on the little rescue-ee.

Fū's new friend was a little older than she had thought. While was tiny and round-faced and skinny-limbed, he had a curved scar under one eye and a set to his jaw that she didn't usually see in the younger village kids. At least, not before their parents pulled them away from her. Sure, the straw hat he wore was way too big for him, and he was covered in scrapes and debris, but he wasn't panicky or crying (that much).

Fū liked him instantly. Without hesitation, she crouched down to his eye level and held out a hand. "Hi! Are you all right?"

"I-I'm fine!" The kid put on a brave face. Though his lower lip wobbled for a second or two, he took a deep breath and grabbed her hands in his. With his eyes and nose running like faucets, he stammered, "Y-you were really cool!"

"I was, wasn't I?" Fū said, smiling at the compliment. "Thank you!"

"What about me?" Chōmei wanted to know, sneaking out from his carrier. "Am I cool?"

"Uwaa!" The kid looked like he was over the moon, despite his injuries. "Your bug talks? Bug, you're the coolest thing ever!"

"His name is Chōmei, and I'm Fū." She said in a fake-serious voice, "Chōmei and me were gonna meet up with his brothers, and then we heard you! So before we go, Chōmei wants to know if you're okay. For real."

"I'm fine, really!" the kid insisted, more confidently this time. With one hand on his hat, he said firmly, "I'm—I'm gonna be the Pirate King someday, so this is nothing!"

"What's the name of the future Pirate King, then?" Chōmei asked.

"Monkey D. Luffy," said the kid. A thought struck him. "Hey, can you join my crew?"

"You got a ship?" Fū countered playfully.

"Uh… Not yet," Luffy admitted, a little shamefaced. Then he puffed himself right back up and added, "But I will someday! Once I do, then you can join and we can have adventures, Fu! And Coconut, are you going to join too?"

"After you're a little bigger," Chōmei promised. "But first, I need to see my brothers and tell them what is happening."

"That makes—wait, bugs have brothers?" Luffy blinked, his eyes huge as he thought it through. He covered his mouth with both hands. "Bugs have brothers waiting for them?"

"This bug does," Chōmei said, his tails waving in the air. "I'm a rhinoceros beetle! Just small."

Mostly, anyway.

"So cool!" Luffy squealed, in awe.

"Hey, Luffy? Can I see your arms?" Fū asked, drawing the boy's attention back to her. She folded her wings back so they barely brushed the ground, keeping them out of the way. "You look like you've had a tough day."

Luffy fidgeted before he complied, then said, "Only a little bit." He was a lousy liar, pursing his lips and refusing to meet her eyes. He even innocently whistled a note or two. "I definitely haven't been out here for three days!"

Fū's eyebrows rose. Three days in a jungle like this was no small thing, especially for a boy this young. With his arms all scratched up like this, though, she believed him. Though there was something weird about his skin and his arms. Neither one really felt normal, not like Shibuki or any of Fū's old teammates.

Still, Luffy appeared to either not want her to worry, or be trying to preserve his pride. She let his arms go and said, "Why are you out here all alone, though?"

"I'm not alone, not really!" Luffy insisted. "Uh, I definitely wasn't following Ace around. And I'm not lost!"

"Well," Fū began slowly, choosing her words with care, "even if you're not lost, I am."

"Eh?! But you have wings! Can't you just…?" Luffy flapped his arms, totally confused.

"It's not that easy," Fū said, eying his movements. Did… Did his elbow just bend…? "Ah!"

"Hm?" Luffy stopped flapping, his arms coming to a halt at his sides. Even so, his limbs bounced like rubber, not like normal arms! Not even like Fū's.

"How are you doing that, Luffy?" Fū asked, taking his hand. Before she realized it, she stretched his hand a lot farther away from the rest of him than made any sense. "Whoa…"

"I ate the Gomu Gomu no Mi!" Luffy explained cheerfully, hooking his other hand around his mouth and pulling. His face stretched like it was made of— "I'm a rubber man!"

"This is so cool," Fū breathed, her eyes shining. "This is the coolest thing I've ever seen!"

"How far can you stretch?" Chōmei asked, crawling out onto Fū's shoulder.

"I can stretch really far!" Luffy let his cheek snap back to its normal dimensions, then grinned widely. "And my punch is like a pistol!"

"What's a pistol?" Fū asked.

"It's, uh, it's a gun!" Luffy said. Clearly, this was supposed to make sense.

But it didn't. "What's a 'gun'?"

Luffy made a face, then frowned as he thought. It was quite a frown, with his face pulled into an awful exaggerated grimace. Then, "Um, Dadan has one? I can show you!"

"Okay," Fū replied, since she could still make it to Chōmei's brothers before sundown. This was okay.

Luffy held out his hand until she took it and started to tug Fū along, then froze mid-step before his arm could stretch out when she didn't immediately follow. Twisting his head all the way around without moving the rest of his body, he screeched, "I'm not lost!" He fidgeted in place again, hopping from foot to foot. "I, uh. I just don't know how to get back to the bandits…"

Fū got fully to her feet, sending her wings buzzing rapidly. She put her free hand to her chin in an exaggerated thinking pose, then said, "Hey, Luffy? Maybe we should fly around until we find it! You can ride with Chōmei, and he can tell you all about how I do it."

"Really?!" Luffy squeaked, looking up at her with an even more awestruck expression. "Can—can we go really fast? Really, really fast?!"

"You got it!" Fū said, giving him a thumbs-up.

"Yay!"

"Just be sure to hang on tight," Chōmei warned him.

With that, Luffy bounced over to give Fū the biggest hug he could. His whole body wasn't that much bigger than Fū's torso, so when he wrapped his legs and arms around her a couple of times to be secure, her wings still had plenty of room to maneuver. Chōmei was forced to move up toward her shoulder blades, but he and Luffy could still talk to each other.

They ended up flying together for about twenty minutes, though Luffy didn't know how to find "the bandits." While Fū hoped silently that he only meant his family and was calling them a funny name, she flew around the forest until she could hear shouting in the distance. Unlike when she met Luffy, the voices were nearly all deep enough to belong to adults instead of lost kids, and most of them were just rowdy. If Luffy wanted to head toward all that noise, though, Fū wouldn't tell him she couldn't take him there. After all, she could fly.

Fū twisted her wings around so they could hover, just at the edge of where the forest turned into a little clearing. Amid the short-grass and on a little hill, there was a building that looked a bit like a village longhouse. There were three sections, and the door had a pair of crossed swords on top like a pair of beetle horns.

Luffy unwound himself from Fū's stomach with a snap, turning back into just a little kid with a straw hat and not a walking rubber band. He stumbled a little bit, but dashed toward the hut without a backwards glance. "Hey, I'm back!"

Fū rocketed up into the trees, leaping instead of flying so she didn't make any noise.

"Luffy came back alive!"

"He's still alive?!"

"Where the hell were you?!"

"Where have you been?"

Luffy responded to all of this with a loud, "I was running from wolves and got chased off a cliff and a fairy and a bug saved me!"

Fū saw Luffy turn in the doorway, then look around in confusion.

"Eh?! She disappeared!" A pause. "Oh, right! She's gotta find Coconut's brothers and go back to the fairy kingdom."

"...Did you hit your head on something?"

"Nope! I bounce."

"Sorry, Luffy, but a heroine must be mysterious and cool!" Fū whispered, so only Chōmei could hear her. Crossing her arms dramatically, she added at the same volume, "I'll see you again someday, but for now I have a mission for Chōmei. Until then, goodbye!"

Sabo didn't quite know how to break the news to Ace, but it was bad. He waited at the usual spot, pipe leaning against his shoulder and tapping it occasionally as he thought. There had to be a way to explain what was happening, but Sabo still wasn't sure what they'd do next.

For the last couple of days, all the easy targets around Gray Terminal seemed to have dried up. It wasn't like the people weren't around or anything, but nobody Sabo tracked down seemed to have anything worth the effort. Even the swankier-looking people, the ones who stuck around High Town instead of anything closer to the trash heap, seemed to be running out of treasure and didn't seem to be getting any more even though the trash still came, right on time.

It was like… It was like someone was grabbing all the best targets before Sabo could find them.

And he had some idea who.

"Sabo!" Ace called, making him jump. "There you are."

Crud. "Hi, Ace."

"I've been looking all over for you," Ace commented as he hauled himself onto Sabo's vantage point. It wasn't all that high, but he could see people without being seen as easily, and thus it became their spot. "Get anything good today?"

Sabo shook his head. "Absolutely nothing."

"Again?!" Ace kept his voice down to a dull roar, but his hand tightened around his pipe hard enough that Sabo almost worried he'd bend it. "What is it with this freaking town this week?"

So Ace hadn't been having any luck either? Good to know, but worrying. At least there was some news, though. It was just still bad. "Ace, I think I know what the problem is."

"Yeah?" Ace asked, frowning. Still he was listening. "Who do we gotta beat up?"

"There's more thieves here than just us, now," Sabo said. "Two other kids like us, but they're taking all the good targets before either of us can get there. At least, I think it has to be them."

"Then what're we waiting for?" Ace smacked his pipe into his other palm. "Let's go take out the trash."

Sabo reached over and cuffed him on the shoulder. "No, Ace. We need to know what these kids are like. It's too dangerous in case they're like us, and we don't even know where they hide out when they're not stealing."

"Gah, fine," Ace grumbled, crossing his arms. "We'll do it the boring way."

"You asked what we were waiting on, and I answered," Sabo told him. "Let's go."

Sabo and Ace scoured Gray Terminal for the rest of the afternoon, chasing down rumors of other thieves and other kids. Most of the residents they interrogated seemed to think that they were recruiting, but Ace's death glare discouraged any further questioning from the general crowd of beggars and lowlifes that haunted the place. Sure, these people were mostly ignored by both Ace and Sabo when considering who to rob—since no one ever had anything—but there were a lot of them and everyone got spotted sooner or later. Even some new phantom thieves.

"Brats looking for more brats," muttered their most recent informant, with Ace's pipe directly in front of his nose. His eyes were almost hidden under shaggy gray eyebrows, and he was probably pushing something like eighty years old. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Who're you calling a brat, you bastard?" Ace snapped. "Talk and I won't make you eat this!"

"Fine, fine!" replied the man, holding his hands up in surrender. "Ask Menma over there! He's seen your friends!"

"They're not our friends," Sabo said, but he dragged Ace off the guy and toward the next one.

"The next one" turned out to be a teenager with creepy red eyes and nasty scars on both sides of his face. He was twice Ace or Sabo's size, lanky as heck, and looked at both of them like they were scum.

"Whaddya want?" he asked, in a raspy voice not much deeper than theirs.

Sabo took the lead, since Ace would probably just give the guy a concussion. "What do you know about some kids who've been stealing stuff all over town?"

"Ain't I looking at 'em?" Menma countered, irritated. He fell back into a pile of junk, huddling under a tarp. "Go away, kid. I ain't got nothin' to steal."

Ace slammed his pipe into the ground an inch from the guy's toes, making him flinch. "I'm not asking. I'm telling you you're gonna cough up all you know about those kids before I crack your head open."

Menma stared up at the two of them for a long moment, his eyebrows moving as he considered his options. With Ace there, he didn't have a lot of them. Menma licked his lips. "What'll I get if I tell ya?"

"An unbroken skull," Ace snapped, glaring for all he was worth.

"And we'll leave you alone," Sabo said, playing good guard to Ace's bad one. "We won't even tell them you told us about them."

Menma's eyes darted between them. "Yeah?"

"Unless your info's shit," Ace said, just to make his stance clear. "Then I'll come back and fulfill my promise."

Menma paled. "Uh, then…" As Ace raised the pipe pointedly, Menma burst out, "Fine! Fine, I'll tell you. We're all friends here, right?"

"Sure, buddy," Ace said, his tone implying the exact opposite.

Menma spilled his guts worse than a sea cucumber. With one last series of threats regarding his head and the breakage thereof from Ace, he and Sabo set off from Gray Terminal and headed into the forests of Mt. Colubo. While Sabo was the expert in the trash heap, the mountains were Ace's playground more than anyone else's. If the other thieves were setting up shop in the wilderness and hadn't been eaten by any of the bigger animals, there were only so many places they could go, and Ace knew all of them.

Afterward, Sabo wondered if thinking like that counted as tempting fate.

"Where did all these traps come from?!" Ace screamed as they barreled down a hill, chased by a falling log the size of a small ship. Freaking tripwires in a forest?

"Just an idea," Sabo panted, as he dragged Ace to the side to avoid the trap, "but I think we should've asked where that guy got his info!"

"You mean that bastard set us up? I'll go back there and—!"

But whatever Ace would have said was cut off by the sound of another wire snapping. Together, they ducked under a swinging log that crashed through the trees above their heads. Sabo wasn't sure, but it looked like this trap was designed for hitting taller people. Maybe adults?

"We've gotta get out of here first," Sabo reminded him, sitting up.

But there wasn't a way out. Every time they tried to escape, a wasp nest would fly out of nowhere and almost hit Ace in the face. Or a pitfall lined with spikes would just appear where Sabo was going to place his foot. Or a quicksand trap would almost swallow them both whole. Or maybe they'd be chased around the forest by giant animals with steaks in front of their faces to keep them running, while surrounded by poison ivy. And even when that stopped, the paths were lined with brambles and thorns and burrs that stuck to their clothes and hair.

By the end of the gauntlet, both Ace and Sabo were covered in scrapes and sores, their voices were hoarse, and their entire bodies ached with exhaustion. The sun had long since dropped below the horizon, and now it was too dark to see. They couldn't get off the mountain without possibly running into more traps, but without their eyesight to spot them in time.

"God, this was such a bad idea," Ace muttered as they clambered down into a hollow underneath a tree.

The air smelled like rain, so Sabo knew it was time to find shelter in any form available. He trusted Ace's judgment in the forest more than his own, and followed.

"My idea wasn't much better," Sabo said after a while, in between picking burrs out of his pants and coat. He winced when they caught his fingers, but he knew he couldn't sleep with things digging into his skin. "I was the one who said we should gather info."

"And I was the one who kept threatening the guy," Ace muttered, pausing for just a second to suck on a cut on one of his fingers. "Should've figured he'd try to get us killed."

"Still planning to head back there?" Sabo asked.

"If we get outta here? Yeah." Ace scowled. "Now I owe him a fight."

Sabo sighed. "That's a bad habit you're getting there…"

"Tch." Ace spat toward the corner of their little hideout just as the rain started to fall. "I'll be fine, Sabo. Same as always."

"Sand Drizzle."

Both of them whirled on the spot, or tried to, but they were already up to their ankles in sand and the roots weren't high enough to let either of them stand up or swing their pipes. The sand dragged them out of shelter, moving on its own like it was a snake or a monster of some kind, hoisting both boys up into the air by their feet and swirling around them in a gritty, blinding storm.

Ace spat and swore, his voice muffled by sand getting into his mouth.

Sabo tried to free his feet, but couldn't bend far enough upward before his arms were pinned to his sides. By the time he could open his eyes without pain, he and Ace were suspended upside-down in cocoons of yellow sand big enough to hide their whole bodies from view, except their faces. When Sabo tried to struggle, he couldn't move an inch.

"What the hell is this?" Ace shouted, but there was a tremble in his voice that didn't match anything Sabo had ever heard from him. He wasn't being loud because he thought it would help, but because he didn't know what else to do.

A different voice, sounding lower and raspier than Menma's by a lot, spoke from behind them. "Naruto, what should we do with them?"

"Dunno, gimme a second," said a voice that was, unfortunately, more familiar.

As Sabo watched and his stomach tried to plummet right out of his body, Menma stepped out from behind a nearby tree and leaned casually against the trunk. "So, having fun with our little obstacle course?"

"Of course we're not, you backstabbing son of a bitch!" Ace snapped, before Sabo could shout across him.

Menma's red eyes narrowed and he stalked forward, cloak billowing around him in a way that was suddenly a lot less like a Gray Terminal resident and a lot more like a trained fighter. He stopped when he was within about four feet of Ace, then said, "You leave my mother out of this."

...What.

Menma leaned back, before Ace could spit in his face. "Anyway, this isn't even my fault. You're the ones who got all pissed off over something and started threatening everyone in the trash heap."

"Did you plan to set us up from the start?" Sabo asked, before Ace could get a word in edgewise.

"Well, sure. Why'd you think I talked to you like this?" Menma asked, gesturing at his entire body.

Sabo blinked. "...What the hell are you talking about?"

"The thieves you were looking for? They're right here." With that, Menma disappeared in a huge plume of smoke. In the middle of it, a higher voice cackled, "Gotcha!"

When the smoke cleared, Sabo felt his jaw drop before he realized it. Where Menma had been standing, there was a blond kid a little older than Sabo and Ace were, with spiky hair instead of curls and three dark lines on each cheek, like whiskers. Sabo could still see the resemblance between the kid and Menma, in build but not in height, but mostly his brain was stuck on the fact that there'd been a person standing there and now there was a different one, and the first one had just disappeared.

"I didn't know what you guys were looking for, but if you were stubborn enough to chase us all over the trash heap, you'd probably take on the death course," said… this person. The one raspy-voice had called him "Naruto," right? "And boom. Here we are."

"I want to know why you were following us," said the other voice, much closer than before.

As Sabo watched in a kind of horrified fascination, his and Ace's sand cocoons slowly drifted apart and a creepy-looking kid walked between them to Naruto's side. When he turned, Sabo saw blood-red hair and flat, blank green eyes surrounded by dark circles. The guy had a completely neutral stance, other than his crossed arms, and he didn't look like the kind of person who'd blink twice at killing someone.

"Hey, Gaara asked you a question," Naruto said, putting his hands on his hips. "So 'fess up."

"We wouldn't even be here if you jackasses weren't stealing everything in Gray Terminal that wasn't nailed down or on fire!" Ace exploded. "Not everyone can just turn into someone else to do whatever they want! Me and Sabo are getting starved out because you can't stick to your own freaking beat!"

"...What's a 'beat'?" Naruto asked, making a face.

"Turf, territory, whatever the hell you wanna call it," Ace replied, as the blood ran to his head.

"We can return what we stole from you, just out of pity," suggested the redhead, still entirely expressionless. "But otherwise? No."

"They didn't say they were thieves, Gaara," Naruto said.

"It was implied," Gaara replied. His eyes narrowed for a second, then Sabo and Ace's cocoons started to turn back right-side-up.

"Well, stealing stuff's a 'first come, first served' kinda business." Naruto shrugged. "And right here and now, we're stronger than you are."

Ace audibly ground his teeth.

"So get off our 'turf,' kid," Naruto said. He grinned in a way that was totally not a good thing, showing off a pair of long canines. "Wanna give 'em a push, Gaara?"

"I have a better idea," Gaara replied. He clapped his hands together, and the sand exploded off Ace and Sabo and dropped them roughly on their feet.

It didn't last.

All around them, the ground shook, and then a whole flood of nothing but sand rose out from between individual clumps of earth and blades of grass. Before either of them could react, the sand tripped and swept them along the forest floor. Out past the trees, straight through all the bushes—

And right off the mountain.

Luffy pulled off the bandages that had been stuck to his arms, pulling at the new skin and watching it stretch. Yep, he was back to normal! It might've taken a bit longer than the other times he'd chased after Ace, but a week after Porchemy and he was back to full strength.

"Luffy, let me see that," Sabo said quietly.

Luffy didn't know if Sabo was having as much fun living with them now as he did before, but Luffy liked having him around. No one else tried looking after Luffy's injuries.

"I can do this!" Luffy insisted, but he still held out his other arm and let Sabo unwind the bandages and pile them up on the floor.

"Just because you can do this by yourself doesn't mean you have to," Sabo replied. Then, "There. You heal pretty fast."

"You're spoiling him, Sabo," Ace complained from the doorway. "Just get the crybaby up and out here."

"I'm not a crybaby!" Luffy argued instantly. While he didn't pull out of Sabo's hold, it was only because Sabo wouldn't let go. "You'll see!"

"Whatever. Let's just get going," Ace said, disappearing out the door. "Don't slow us down!"

This time, when Ace set off through the jungle, he didn't run away so fast that Luffy couldn't follow. Or lead them into any traps, or the jaws of the big animals that had to taste good if they were so hard to hunt. Instead, Ace, Sabo, and Luffy all trekked through the jungle together in a line. Though Luffy didn't really care to know where they were going, he hummed as they went.

Being together with other people was so much better than just running through the jungle all alone.

"Ace, this is a bad idea," Sabo said as they crossed a river by hopping from stone to stone. "Especially after we just fought Porchemy."

"We beat Porchemy," Ace corrected, refusing to look back. "We've gotten stronger."

"I dunno about you, but I'm not strong enough to fight a guy who controls sand like that," Sabo said, but quieter so Ace couldn't hear him.

Luffy blinked. "What're you guys talking about?"

"There's this…" Sabo paused for a second, and Luffy saw Ace go tense. But when nothing else happened, Sabo continued, "Another gang of kids moved in, about two months ago. We fought them and lost, but Ace wants to go deal with them now."

"Ace is strong, though," Luffy said, picking his nose with his pinky. "You and Ace are the strongest together, and with my punches, we're unbeatable!"

"Even strong people lose sometimes," Sabo said, squeezing Luffy's shoulder. "Still…"

"We're not getting led into a trap this time, Sabo," Ace said, turning back around to face them. "I found a way around them."

"And that just makes things so much easier," Sabo mumbled.

"You know, Sabo, you don't have to come if you don't want to," Ace said, jerking his head to look away from them. While Luffy wasn't great at reading people—and he was a bad liar, too—he could tell that Ace was really upset to have to say that.

So Luffy ran forward and latched onto Ace's waist with his rubbery arms. "I'll go with you, Ace! We'll beat up everyone who makes you cry!"

"I didn't cry, you idiot!" Ace snapped defensively, but the awful dead look in his eyes went away. "Get off me!"

Luffy giggled when Ace tried to get his fingers under Luffy's arms. It tickled! Luffy had to stick his face into Ace's shirt to keep from laughing too loud.

"Ace, I didn't say I wouldn't go," he heard Sabo say. "I'm just worried."

"Well," Ace began, and planted his hand on Luffy's head in another attempt to get free. "Whatever. Follow if you're gonna."

"I'm gonna!" Luffy said, grinning up at Ace.

Ace scowled back before looking away. "Idiot." But he didn't push Luffy away again.

After a while, Sabo offered his hand so Luffy latched on, and both of them followed Ace into the mountains. They didn't see any of the traps Ace had talked about, even though Sabo talked about them and Luffy wanted to go on an adventure! Adventures weren't as fun without some danger to make things interesting. Otherwise it was just walking.

But walking was okay if Luffy was with Ace and Sabo.

"Aw, crap," said a voice that sounded a lot like Sabo's, but it was too far away.

Luffy twisted his head around, looking past Sabo's shoulder to see another blond-haired kid with goggles on his forehead. He was taller than any of them, and looked surprised to see them this far in the forest. On a second look, while the other kid stared at them, let Luffy realize that while Sabo and the kid were both blond, they were too different to be mistaken for each other.

Still… "How come you sound just like Sabo?" Luffy wanted to know, while Sabo and Ace unslung their pipes.

"Who the hell's Sabo?" the kid asked, looking totally relaxed. He even put his hands in his pockets. With the plain black t-shirt and orange pants and sandals, this kid didn't look that tough.

"Luffy, hang on," Sabo said quietly, while Ace stepped forward. "He's sneakier than he looks."

"You haven't been showing either of your faces around Gray Terminal recently," Ace began in a nasty growl. "Too scared to try competing with us again?"

Luffy gaped at the stranger. "He has two faces?! Where's the other one?" An idea struck him. "Are you hiding it? Is it on your butt?"

The stranger blinked. Ace and Sabo were both frozen.

Come on, answer me! "How do you poop?!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" The weird stranger had to hang onto his belly to keep from laughing too hard, but it didn't work. He laughed really loud, too, and even if it didn't answer his question—

"Shishishishishi!" Luffy giggled, too.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Ace and Sabo shouted at once, but laughter almost drowned them out. Their faces were just so funny!

"Ahaha—oh, I needed that," said the other blond kid. He got back to his feet, breathing harder, and said, "It's been kind of a shitty day."

"We're not here to talk about your problems, you jerk!" Ace interrupted, once again stepping forward with his pipe in hand. "We're here to settle the score from two months ago."

"That? Look, Freckles, me an' Gaara haven't done anything since then," the blond guy complained, looking away with a scowl on his face. "We got yelled at after that fight and we're not heading back to the trash heap. So as far as I'm concerned, it's over."

"It's not over until I say it is!" Ace snapped. With a shout, he charged the other kid with his pipe raised.

Luffy didn't hear what the other kid said, but he stepped out of the way just as Ace brought the pipe crashing down. Sabo let go of his hand to join in, leaving Luffy alone to watch.

That sucked! "Hey, wait for me!"

Naruto's day had started out terrible and didn't look like it was getting any better. Sure, there'd been a brief reprieve from the onslaught of headaches recently when the kid with the straw hat made him laugh, but the rest was awful. First, he woke up in the same weird world where his sister and his parents weren't anywhere around—not even close—and the food was weird and his only friends were in the same boat as him. Though he liked them anyway. Second, some crazy old guy barged through all the traps and destroyed like half of them completely, then Naruto had to send clones along with Fū to lure the guy away after he gave Gaara even worse tanuki eyes. And now the same weird thief kids from before were showing up to ruin his concentration while he tried to make security seals.

"Hold still, you bastard!" shouted Freckles, swinging again and again.

"You hold grudges worse than an Uchiha!" Naruto replied, in between ducking under a nasty swing and skittering away from the kid. He found a safe spot—ish—in a tree about ten meters straight up the trunk, clinging to it with chakra. "...Well, okay, maybe not worse…"

Another hit cracked the bark along a tree, and then the whole freaking thing started cracking too!

"I take back my take-backs!" Naruto shouted down at Freckles as the tree toppled. "Are you really trying to kill me?!"

"Take me seriously, dammit!" Okay, Freckles was definitely way too much like Sasuke.

Naruto bit the edge of his thumb, making hand seals faster than he'd ever done recently. By the time the tree hit the ground and Freckles and Top Hat could get a clear shot at him, Naruto slapped his hand into the other and summoned his backup.

And threw it in Freckles' face.

"I am not a kunai, dammit!" Yang Kurama screeched in his little-kid voice, but he still bit onto black hair and hung on, scratching with all his tiny fox claws.

Freckles screamed, dropping his pipe staff thing and trying vainly to get Yang Kurama to let go. "OW! OW, SABO, GET IT OFF!"

Naruto took advantage of the other blond's distraction and threw himself at the new opponent, who was probably named Sabo. It answered a few questions. Though Sabo blocked Naruto's first kick with his own pipe, Naruto just readjusted his next kick on the way in and basically stomped on the kid's fingers instead.

Before Naruto could decide which one to go after this time, a tiny fist shot past his face on—oh wow, Straw Hat could stretch!

…Wait.

"EH?! You're the kid Fū was talking about!" Naruto said, catching the flying fist as it started to retract.

Instead of the kid reeling his arm back in, Naruto's greater mass ended up pulling Straw Hat toward him. He hit and bounced off, and Naruto didn't budge since he had his feet anchored to the ground with chakra. Still, once Naruto let go of his hand, he didn't seem hurt. He actually glared up from the ground and from under the brim of his hat and yelled, "I won't forgive anyone who hurts my friends, even if you know Fairy and Coconut!"

"Fairy and...and—AHAHAHAHA!" Naruto cackled, unable to stop himself. He heard Yang Kurama sputter, kinda, before he had to catch the mini-fox. "Old Man Yang, did ya hear that?"

"Get any ideas and I will bite you," grumbled Yang Kurama, though he sounded a bit amused. Just a bit. At the back of his voice. "Pah, I'll be spitting out hairballs for a week."

Naruto rubbed at his eyes, trying to clear the tears of laughter that had popped up. When he could see again, all three of the kids were glaring at him. Freckles had a bunch of red scratch-marks on his face and neck, which were just barely not bleeding in some cases, Sabo's left hand was swelling up from the kick, and Straw—no, Luffy—was so angry he was practically red.

Aw, crap. Naruto shoved his hands into his pockets, scowling. "Look, I didn't want to fight any of you. But you attacked first!" He took a step back, already turning to go. "So quit freaking following me!"

"NARUTO, WHAT THE HELL?!"

Ohshit.

Naruto got his arms up in time to block, just barely, and then Fū's foot hit him right where his arms crossed over one another. "It's not my fault, dammit! They attacked first!"

Fū leapt off from the point of impact, landing in a crouch, and then stood up to point an accusing finger in his face. "I told you to avoid fighting kids! You're strong enough that it's not fair!"

"What did you want me to do, chuck them off the mountain with Shadow Clones?" Naruto shoved Fū's hand aside. Gah, Fū was way too protective of kids who obviously knew how to fight. How in the world did she expect to pass the Chūnin Exams back home? "Freckle-face over here tried to crack my head open like four different times!"

"That's not—LUFFY?!" Fū began, before doing a double-take. She didn't sprout wings, at least, but she ran right over to the littlest kid and knelt in front of him, basically at eye height. Chōmei even popped out of her backpack like it was no big deal, which probably meant the repairs at base were done. "Luffy, what happened?"

"I'm not talking to you!" Luffy declared, crossing his arms and turning his face away like he didn't have a spine attached. "I don't like people who hurt my friends!"

Naruto was already backpedaling before Fū could so much as twitch, ready to dodge her fury with a Replacement jutsu and run back to Gaara if he had to.

"I-I-I'm not your friend anymore?" Fū's voice sounded all choked up, and Naruto slowly let his stance go back to normal. Cautious, but normal. She sniffled, then said, "You're—y-you're not my friend?"

"F-Fairy—I," Luffy stammered, his eyes welling up as he turned his face back toward her. His nose was running like crazy, too. "Y-you can't c-cry! You're gonna m-m-make me cry!"

"What the hell is this?" Yang Kurama muttered, before Naruto picked him up and set him on his shoulder.

And—how was Chōmei crying?! He was a bug! He didn't have tear ducts! "We c-can't be friends either?"

Naruto stared for a while, then looked over the crying trio to the other two boys. They shot looks at each other, but they looked about as confused as he felt. When they looked at him to see if he had any more ideas about what to do, he held up his hands in surrender. There were some things not even ninja training had prepared him for, and this weird crying contest-slash-self-perpetuating loop was on the list.

Then Yang Kurama's ears perked up, brushing Naruto's ear. "That man's coming back this way."

"Oh, we were supposed to tell you that," Chōmei said, still sniffling.

"Aw, crap." Naruto darted forward and crouched next to Fū. "Fū, Fū, that freaky guy's coming back. We need to go."

"No!" Fū scrubbed at her eyes with her sleeve, then glared up at him with her face still awfully red. "We're not—"

Naruto tensed, his hand gripping her shoulder. Fū cut herself off with barely a sound, her head whipping around to let her glare into the woods. And on each of their shoulders, their Tailed Beast partners were sitting at attention.

And the screaming maniac emerged from the woods. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRATS?!"

The guy was huge, which was really unfair now that Naruto thought about it. He was about the Third Hokage's age, if not older, but really fit and fast. And weirdly stealthy for a guy the size of a bear on stilts and wearing a bright yellow flower shirt, but Naruto didn't have a lot of room to talk there.

Naruto squared his jaw as he and Fū automatically took defensive taijutsu stances. If they weren't gonna run, it'd be a fight. And Fū'd never run if she wanted to protect someone. Hell, the only reason she'd run all around the mountain before was to lead this guy away after he broke Gaara's nose. Gaara'd be fine, but apparently so was this guy.

"There you are!" the bear guy said in a more menacing tone as he loomed over them.

"Oh shit!" Freckles squeaked, even as he shoved into Sabo to get him to move. "Gramps!"

Luffy made just a terrible wordless screeching noise, immediately running.

"Eh?!" Fū was blindsided, and Naruto didn't feel all that much better himself.

This freaky bear man was their grandpa?! Then why were they reacting like that?

Naruto's eyes narrowed and the battlefield looked different. On his shoulder, Yang Kurama's hackles rose and all his tails stood up as he donated his chakra. When the transfer was complete, Naruto's fingernails were like claws and his eyes were red and slit-pupiled and his birthmarks stood out more than ever.

Fū, next to him, had pulled her first pair of wings out and her eyes were glowing too.

"Hey, you old goat!" Naruto snarled, his voice dropping an entire octave as he and Fū blocked the guy's way. "Leave the kids alone!"

"What the hell are you doing?" Freckles' voice rang out. "Are you crazy? You can't beat him!"

"So what?" Fū asked rhetorically, her wings buzzing. "Get going, all of you. We'll keep him busy."

Naruto slammed his hands together, then readied his favorite mass-use technique. "Better the devils you know than the devil you don't. See ya!"

This is stupid.

Ace watched, his limbs locked in place.

The two weird kids just dove straight at Gramps even though he was so much bigger and stronger and faster than anyone else Ace had ever met. One of them had wings and the other had claws and fangs and both of them had weird pets, but they'd never win.

This is stupid.

Ace's hands clenched on his pipe.

Whenever one of the strangers would get knocked away or through a tree or into the air, the other would cover the hole they'd left. Naruto would make copies of himself like it was nothing, trying to pin Gramps down so Fairy—Fū, her name was Fū— could break his nose or something. Either way, she just got punched and bowled ass over teakettle and it didn't make a difference.

Sabo was tugging on his arm. Luffy had a death grip on his shirt.

And Ace couldn't move away.

This is so fucking stupid!

One foot landed in front of the other, and the next thing Ace knew, he was running right for Gramps. Luffy and Sabo were right behind him, because they always were and took cues from him even when it was a bad idea. This was a bad idea. This entire day had been a bad idea and he had the scratches to show for it.

"DAMN IIIIIIT!" Ace heard himself scream, even as he dashed in and planted his pipe squarely in the hollow of Gramps's knee.

The old man grunted and flinched, but not for long. The next thing Ace knew, he was flying backward and rolling across the forest floor. He got to his feet almost instantly, half-surprised that he still could. Normally, Gramps hit way harder.

And just for a second, he stared at his pipe.

Ace had never landed a solid hit before! Sure, the fox monster was chewing on Gramps's leg and keeping him from responding to everything, but that was a clean hit!

"YAAAAAA!" Luffy hollered, landing on Gramps's back to no effect whatsoever. If the little bug worm hadn't been spitting silk in his ear, Luffy wouldn't have landed on Gramps at all. He was just too fast.

"Eat dirt, you shitty old man!" screeched a new monster, small and yellow-brown with dark spots. It tackled Gramps's other leg and wrapped its little arms around it, still making a ton of noise. "HOW DARE YOU HIT GAARA! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL EAT YOU FROM THE TOES UP!"

Right above the little caterwauling thing, Sabo jammed his pipe into Gramps's elbow to throw off a punch and almost made Gramps fall.

"I told you three to run!" Naruto shouted, in between more of his copies being punched out of existence over and over. He grabbed Ace's shirt collar and tried to shove him away from the fight. "Get out of here!"

"This isn't even your fight!" Ace yelled back in his face, "You should've run, too!"

"I'm really bad at running!"

"SO AM I!"

At that point, the tone of the fight shifted. Sure, Ace found some common ground with the guy who threw an animal in his face—which was kinda weird, but that wasn't the bit that was important. Instead, tons and tons of sand ripped its way out of the ground and changed the whole clearing into something straight out of the big beaches on the edges of Dawn Island, where Ace usually didn't go. None of their feet sank into the sand, but Gramps was trapped almost up to his knees before he threw Luffy and the little animals off.

Then a shape showed up, forming right out of the sand into the shape of a person who stalked right toward the fight.

"Stop. Attacking. My. Friends," hissed the creepy redhead kid from last time—Gaara. His nose was a mess, worse than Ace remembered from his own fight with Porchemy, but he was still up after what might've been one of Garp's punches. Freaky as hell.

"QUIT TRYING TO KIDNAP MY GRANDSONS!" the old man replied a voice that shook leaves from trees.

For a very long second, no one said anything. Everyone was frozen mid-punch or mid-flinch, or maybe mid-bite as far as the little animals went. Naruto's jaw hung open, as did Sabo's.

Then the orange fox said in the flattest tone imaginable, "…What."

"That might be more convincing if you hadn't hit that one," said the green grub, waving its little nubs in Ace's direction. "You're pulling our tails, aren't you?"

"Practically the first rule of heroism is that you don't hit kids!" Fū said, with those orange wings buzzing like a dragonfly's. "How can you claim to be anyone's grandpa when you're doing that?!"

And to Ace's shock, Gramps let Luffy climb down. And didn't instantly punch anyone. Instead, he faced down this girl less than half his size, her hands on her hips, and he crouched until he could speak directly to her face.

"I," Gramps said, slow at first, "AM TRAINING THEM TO BE STRONG MARINES!"

"BULLSHIT!" Naruto bellowed, standing shoulder to shoulder with Fū, between Gramps and Sabo and Ace.

Luffy shot around the sand ring, propelled by Gaara's weird power, until Sabo could grab onto him. He took a deep breath and his rubbery chest swelled up before he shouted, "I DON'T WANNA BE A MARINE! I'M GONNA BE A PIRATE!"

Ace almost pinched Luffy's ear and pulled on it, for all the good it'd do. Even if he was serious, he didn't have to say that to their demon grandpa's face! He was half-tempted to cuff him over the head if he thought it'd work. But it was already out and in the air and oh boy.

They were dead.

The next few minutes were pure hell. Gramps shook off the sand and the silk and everything else keeping him stuck in place, throwing punches like there was a quota and he was behind. Ace ended up face-down in the dirt with a knot on his head in the first thirty seconds of the new fight, with Sabo sprawled across his legs. Luffy might've hit the ground a little later, but Ace was too dizzy to notice anything afterward.

When Ace could move again, it was afternoon instead of midmorning and his stomach was growling like a tiger was lost in it. He sat up despite the awful headache, pressing a hand gingerly to his swollen forehead. With a hiss, he pulled his hand away and tried looking around.

The forest was a lot flatter than he remembered. The nearest trees were smashed from about Luffy's height on up, turning the place into a stump-littered hazard zone.

"We have a live one!" said a voice that was way too close, and Ace flinched before he realized it was coming from the same green grub from before. It sat next to Sabo's groaning face, then said, "Or two."

Within four seconds, the fairy-girl flew out of the remaining trees and landed lightly next to him. Aside from her hair being a little messed up and her clothes being ripped in places, she didn't look any different than before. Before Ace could ask her how, she was poking and prodding at his injuries and his face.

"Hey, hands off!" Ace managed, though his voice was a little weaker than before. He was still exhausted and bruised and she wasn't helping.

"It's okay, Ace," Fū said, finally settling for bracing his shoulder with her hand. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

Ace still leaned away from her. Somewhat sullen, because he couldn't give up, he stammered, "D-don't go thinking this—that stuff—makes up for what your friends did." Wait— "Where's Luffy?!"

"He's with Naruto and Gaara," Fū said, which really wasn't as reassuring as she thought it was. Probably. "Can you walk?"

"'Course I can!" Ace said and shoved himself to his feet even though he swayed when he got there and his vision turned black for a bit.

"Then I'll carry Sabo," Fū said, and she picked up Ace's best friend like he didn't weigh anything so she could carry him on her back. The worm that traveled with her was already climbing up her leg by the time Ace could think of what to say next.

"What're you gonna do with him?" Ace demanded, though she wasn't flying away. If she walked, he could keep up.

"You, and me, and him, are all gonna find a place to sleep this off," Fū replied, letting Ace walk ahead of her. "And then your asshole grandpa invited us for dinner."

"The hell?"

"That's what Naruto said," Fū said in a darker voice. She sighed. "But if he's hunting, he's not beating anyone up. So, it'll have to do for now."

"Why do you care?" Ace asked finally, frustrated. What did this crazy girl want? "If you'd just run, we'd be fine. He's never trying to kill us for real."

No one ever acted nice without wanting something.

Ace knew where he stood with the bandits, because they didn't care if he fell down a ravine and died and the feeling was mutual most of the time. He put their lives in danger just by existing, so he got it, even if he hated it.

Sabo was different, because they'd needed each other and Ace needed someone to share his dream with. Sabo was the first person Ace had ever tried trusting, and it had paid off enough that he could try again. Over years. At the beginning, though...

Luffy—Luffy was easy to read. He was so fucking lonely he'd grab onto anyone—but he'd chosen Ace. Had chased Ace off cliffs and over rivers and all the way to Gray Terminal, where he'd nearly died even worse than ever. Ace had almost left him even knowing what Porchemy was like.

Fū asked, "Is it really that hard to believe that I just want to do something nice?"

"Everyone wants something," Ace replied coldly.

"And I want to do something nice," Fū said, smiling like there was nothing wrong in the world.

Ace looked away, grumbling, and they walked on.

"Let me see that, brat," said the old man who had introduced himself as Monkey D. Garp.

Eventually. After running the gauntlet every trap Naruto, Fū, and Gaara could construct, after punching Gaara through a tree so hard that his own sand broke his nose, and after chasing Fū and Naruto's clones all over the mountain like a bear on an IV drip of Elder Chiyo's most dangerous combat steroids. The old man had finally settled down. Worst of all, he barely looked scuffed-up by some of the strongest attacks any of them could use without destroying the forest.

Gaara stared flatly back at the old man, though he couldn't breathe through his nose and needing to keep his mouth open was sort of ruining the mystique.

"Gaara, have you ever had a broken nose before?" Naruto asked, after turning his head and spitting something that was at least partly blood into the fire.

Gaara shook his head slightly. Before today, he'd only been injured—only seen his own blood as opposed to someone else's—twice in his entire life. And those were both after leaving Sunagakure and the Land of Wind for the first time.

"Yeah, me neither. But I hang out with Aunt Rin, so I think I know how to fix it." Naruto slapped the old man's hand away as he sat right in front of Gaara, leaning forward. "Just hang on a sec."

Gaara blinked slowly as Naruto's hand gingerly—ow!

Gaara jerked back as his sand shield flared, nearly bowling Naruto over. He blinked tears away as he stared at Naruto in shock.

"Sorry, Gaara. Had to straighten it out," Naruto said with a grimace, before turning to Garp. "Hey, old guy, got any bandages?"

"Call me 'Grandpa,' brat," Garp said, but he handed over a roll of linen first.

"Like hell," Naruto replied under his breath, before carefully treating Gaara's wounds. "You don't even know my name, so why should I?"

Garp almost immediately seized Naruto's ear and pulled on it, eliciting a yelp of pain. "Quit mumbling!"

Naruto snarled, his eyes turning red for a split second as he fought out of the old man's grip. "I already have a grandpa, you old coot! You're just some power-tripping asshole who hits kids and calls it 'training!'"

"You do?" Gaara asked, though his voice still sounded off to his own ears. Luckily, the statement seemed to have given Garp pause, which let Naruto finish patching his face back together.

"Yeah. Dad and Mom's birth parents are dead, but I've got kinda like…" Naruto trailed off, his hands stilling for a second. "You'd know him as Toad Sage Jiraiya, and then there's Granny Tsunade and Aunt Mikoto and…" Naruto sighed as he got back to work. "I miss 'em, is all."

With a sidelong glance at Garp, who had turned away and started poking the campfire again, Gaara said, "I don't quite feel the same way, but… I'm sorry you're stuck here with us instead of at home. It sounds nice."

"It's not all bad," Naruto said, clearly putting on a brave face. "This way I got to meet you and become friends. That's good, right?"

"It is," Gaara admitted, and Naruto clapped a hand onto his shoulder with a wide, not-completely-fake grin. If they hadn't vanished from home and ended up in this strange, unpredictable world, Naruto would have been a fellow jinchūriki, yes. A pen pal, in some ways. But their first meeting would have been in the Chūnin Exams instead of waking up on the same beach, with a common need to survive.

"Hey, we're back!" Fū's voice called out, and both Naruto and Gaara turned toward her.

She had all three of the younger boys with her. In the hours since the disastrous morning fight, she'd managed to get everyone in her group covered in bandages and to change their clothes. With Chōmei in their group, too, Gaara wondered if any of those bandages were silk instead of linen, then decided it didn't matter. Somehow, their two gangs of three children each seemed to have turned into a single gang of six.

Huh. Common enemies did make uncommon alliances, Gaara thought. He was nearly certain he was getting the exact phrasing wrong, but that had been somewhere in his studies, once upon a time.

And they were now sitting down to dinner with the common enemy.

Fū and the three boys sat around the fire alongside everyone else, though only the two dark-haired boys trusted Garp anywhere near them. The blond one trusted his friends, sort of, but Gaara personally didn't want anyone near the old man if he had a choice. But so far, forcing the issue hadn't worked.

"Good, you're all here now," said the old man, crossing his arms and looming over them even while sitting.

Gaara blew his nose and sprayed bloody snot onto his sand. Naruto wordlessly handed him a handkerchief, which he accepted. Fū looked slightly ill, but the three boys didn't even look surprised.

"Quit ruining the moment, brat!" Garp shouted.

Gaara ignored him and took the handkerchief.

"Just get it over with," Fū said in about the most serious tone Gaara had ever heard from her. While she wasn't above yelling to get her way—as much as that didn't work when Naruto was around and willing to shout right back—Fū was generally an upbeat person. The only things that really made her mad were evil and indifference to it.

Gaara waited.

"You three should become my grandchildren!"

"No," Gaara said immediately, and Naruto and Fū's voices joined his in perfect unison.

"I didn't ask for your opinions!"

"I told you before—I have a grandpa, and I don't need a punch-happy replacement!" Naruto snapped.

"I don't need a parent at all," Fū said, crossing her arms to match the old man.

Gaara thought about it. Then, "…What worries me is that this is still less dangerous than spending time around my father." Sure, these were some of the first injuries he'd ever experienced, but the Fourth Kazekage was much more upfront about occasional murder attempts.

Fū whipped her head around. "What?"

Gaara shrugged.

"That's horrible," Fū said, almost teleporting to Gaara's side. "Your dad's horrible."

"I know," said Gaara, because it was hard not to know by now.

Then Naruto and Fū squished Gaara between them in a pair of bear hugs. They pinned Gaara's arms to his sides, so all he could do was sigh and rest his cheek against the top of Naruto's blond head.

The old man, thankfully, didn't say anything else to make Gaara hate him more. He produced a giant boar from basically nowhere and cooked it for the sake of both the old and new child acquaintances he had, of which Gaara only considered himself vaguely involved. Garp's two already-grandsons fell on the food with about as much restraint as a pack of hyenas, quickly joined by the blond whose name Gaara still didn't know.

Naruto and Fū joined in more slowly, with Gaara taking what he wanted last of all.

But it wasn't until the old man left, meal completed and check-in with borderline-feral grandchildren accomplished, that any of them spoke to each other.

"Hey," Naruto said, once the entire experience was over, "I don't think we've introduced ourselves to you, not really."

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy! You're Naru, right?" said the smallest of the other kids. "You sound like Sabo, but act like Ace!"

"Should I be insulted or not...?" Naruto wondered aloud, nonplussed. He shrugged to himself. "Anyway, no, my name's Naruto. Think of a whirlpool." Naruto paused. "Or a fishcake."

"Like on ramen?!" Luffy chirped.

"Like on ramen," Naruto said, though his smile was a bit strained. Gaara wondered briefly if he was taking the time to remind himself that Luffy was a tiny kid, but he supposed it didn't matter.

"And I already know Fairy—"

"Fū," the kunoichi corrected.

"—from before." Luffy grinned. "I'm really happy we're friends now."

"Are we?" asked the blond. He managed a half-hearted wave. "I'm Sabo, by the way."

"And he's Gaara," Naruto concluded, patting Gaara's shoulder.

All eyes turned to the holdout.

"Portgas D. Ace," growled the last kid, full of resentment. "None of you had to go interfering like that. We've had worse from the shitty old man."

Fū's fists clenched. "That's the whole problem."

"Whatever," Ace grunted, looking away from them. "…But I guess… I guess you're not totally hopeless."

"The hell's that supposed to mean, Freckles?" Naruto demanded.

"I meant exactly what I said! And quit calling me Freckles!"

"Take it back!"

"Hell no!"

Gaara shook his head slowly. While Ace and Naruto wrestled with each other and probably ended up throwing a few unfair elbows or bites, everyone else at this campfire seemed content enough just to get to know one another. Fū and Luffy seemed to get along all too well already.

To that end, Gaara said to Sabo, "I'm sorry for scaring you before."

"Oh, that? Well, the sand part was scary, but I've lived in Gray Terminal all my life. I've fought tough guys before," Sabo said, rubbing the back of his neck. "If you're not gonna do it again, it's okay!"

Gaara could tell instantly that at least part of the first thing he'd said was a lie, but didn't call him on it. "I won't," Gaara promised.

"Yay, we're all friends now!" Fū and Luffy said together.

That seemed to be the end of it.

"OW! He bit me!" Naruto yelped.

For a few seconds, anyway.

Fū ran.

It wasn't the way she liked to travel. It wasn't even her third favorite way of getting around, not really, but she'd figured out fast that flying where normal people could see her was a bad idea. It was an even worse idea in Gray Terminal, where every fifth person was either one of Naruto's informants or desperate enough to take a shot at her.

And one of Naruto's clones had sent out the call.

"The others are in trouble!"

Fū didn't get any more details than that. She knew Naruto had been spending more time with the ASL group—brothers, now—and trying to train them up for the next appearance of the evil old grandpa, and Gaara had too. Heck, she'd been planning on hunting down a bear and presenting it for dinner once everyone got back from stealing things.

Only something was wrong, and her boys needed backup.

A series of Naruto's clones led her deeper and deeper into the dump, ducking past passive piles of trash that were probably older than she was. Every thirty meters, a puff of smoke or a pointing finger would let her know where she had to go. With Chōmei bouncing in the sling on her back, a knife in each hand, and a burning anger in her gut, Fū was ready for a fight.

A Naruto clone appeared out of nowhere, looking like a beggar. But no beggar had his whisker birthmarks stretched across each cheek. "Hang on, Fū."

"What's going on?" she hissed, even as she let him pull her through a more complicated route among the trash heaps.

"There's like a million city guards there, not to mention a pirate crew," Naruto's clone whispered back, "and enough of 'em have guns that we're waiting on Gaara."

Fū frowned. Naruto's clones weren't bulletproof. At times like this, a little detail like that was a lot more important than it should've been. Still, as she felt the slight roll of the dirt underneath them, she knew it couldn't be that long before Gaara acted. He'd gotten a lot better at making "trained" fighters cry since they'd started really training together, because he didn't want to ever end up being beaten up by Garp again.

Heck, that was why Fū had knives now.

"The original me is with them over there," the clone went on. "So, we're gonna do this hard and fast, and on cue."

Fū gave this some thought, then peeked out at the crowd surrounding their friends. With Ace and Luffy on the ground, and Sabo held in the air by one of the scruffy-looking pirate guys, Naruto didn't have enough leeway just yet. Not with a gun pointed at his head.

"All right," Fū said quietly, "but can I call dibs on the big guy with the busted teeth?"

"Bluejam?" The clone crouched under a piece of what looked like canvas. "We don't care. Just don't touch the big top hat guy. That's Sabo's dad, and we need to give him a piece of our minds."

Fū nodded, stalking around the base of the trash heap. Wait, if she could get a good vantage point… Frowning in determination, she turned and started to slowly climb up the side of the heap like it was a fortified hill. There was enough junk here and there to count as enemy traps, but she still clambered right up to the top.

Naruto's clone popped below her, but everything else was so loud that no one else would've noticed.

And though Fū hated it, she stayed still while Sabo's jerk of a dad said all kinds of terrible things about Ace, Luffy, and Naruto. She tried her best to keep her eyes on the back of his head as he talked, even when one of the pirates hit Ace hard enough to splat blood almost a meter away. Even when Bluejam threatened to kill everyone.

"Sand Drizzle," said Gaara's voice, as his favorite jutsu material ripped its way out of the ground and grabbed everyone's legs to keep them from moving.

While the sand flowed and the adults in the area wasted time asking questions or yelling, Gaara stepped forward from behind another mountain of trash with his hands making the Bird seal. The sand near a few people's legs exploded in a shower of blood and bits, and Naruto, Ace, and Luffy could finally get to their feet as their captors were a lot busier screaming.

"Nice timing, Gaara," Naruto said amid the noise, before reaching up and idly swiping a spot of blood from his cheek. When he saw the mess, he flinched. "Shit, was that really necessary?"

"If people try to kill my friends, they die," Gaara responded in a low voice. "I like to make things simple."

Fū stood up on top of the heap, barely holding back from recreating Chōmei's wings. With one quick leap, she landed just next to Sabo's shoulder as sand snaked up to encase all the Bluejam Pirates and the city guards. He'd grown a little bit in the last few months, but only just barely reached her shoulder if she ignored his hat. But his shoulders were unbowed.

"Sabo, make them cease this at once!" Sabo's father shouted, looking down at his son like he'd never seen him before.

"Gaara," Sabo said, while Fū rested her hand on his shoulder. "Do you want to let them go?"

Gaara blinked slowly, his green eyes focusing in their direction. "Do I look like a merciful person?"

"No," Sabo admitted, "but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to be."

Ace, after concussing the pirates who'd been holding him and Luffy hostage, strode up to where Fū, Sabo, and Gaara were thinking. Naruto and Luffy followed in his wake, but Ace spoke first, "Sabo, you were gonna sacrifice yourself, weren't you? When he threatened us just a second ago?"

"…If—If I could make sure you were all safe and free, I'd give up everything," Sabo replied, looking up at what he could see of his father's face. The man was almost entirely buried in Gaara's sand by now, with his ears blocked and only his eyes and nose still showing. "I-I'd even go back to…him."

"But you don't have to!" Luffy latched onto Sabo's waist, resting his chin against Sabo's stomach. "Right?"

"No. Not 'cuz of him, and not this guy either." Naruto scowled. Naruto said in a low voice, glancing over at the captive pirate. "Bluejam's the toughest pirate around here. So… Fū?"

Fū clenched her fists, walked right up to the big, smug jerk who'd been threatening to make Naruto and Ace and Luffy disappear, and kicked him square in the chin even through Gaara's sand. Her second kick was a roundhouse that made Bluejam's head whip around to the side, spitting more teeth he couldn't really afford to lose.

It didn't make her feel any better.

But she'd called the first attack. And no one hurt her friends.

"Don't think he's gonna be a problem anymore," Ace said, scowling. He hefted his pipe. "But I can make sure they don't follow us just as well as Gaara can."

"Thorough of you," said a totally new voice, which made all of them freeze. "But not necessary."

All of them looked up slowly, to where a strange woman sat on an overturned mattress. She was dressed in a jacket and loose pants that didn't look like they'd come from anywhere near Gray Terminal, with a sword hilt poking over each shoulder. Her hair was jet-black and shoulder-length, unruly enough to almost cover the diagonal scar running across her face. Her expression was ice-cold, eyes glowing amber in the midday light, and the spiky-shelled creature on her lap had a glare that matched it. And three separate tails.

"Isobu!" squeaked three separate Tailed Beast voices.

"Kei-sensei?" Fū heard Naruto say, but as though from a long way off.

Fū trembled.

Gekkō Keisuke. The Tidal Blade. Butcher and war machine, and a living nightmare Shibuki had always told her to run from rather than fight. And she was already well within striking distance.

In the months since he met her, Sabo had never seen Fū look so afraid. She didn't shake like that even when confronting the Lord of the Forest or brainstorming with them on how to take on Gramps for the next round. She smiled like Luffy did, all bright sunshine and blue seas on a cloudless day. She didn't even seem afraid of Bluejam, or of his father, and Sabo had found himself expecting her to stay solid even when the situation changed over and over again.

It was like trying to stand his ground on sand.

Then Sabo looked sidelong at Gaara, silently revising his thinking. No, sand was about as steady as rock at this point. It was just that Fū was looking at the woman on top of the trash heap like she was the worst kind of pirate or maybe a monster in human form.

"Keisuke?" Gaara asked, and the woman nodded just like she had after Naruto addressed her. "When did you get here? How?"

"And what took you so long?" Naruto wanted to know.

Keisuke or Kei-sensei or whoever she was held up one hand and, instead of answering their questions, just asked, "Naruto, which one of them tried to kill you?"

"We've got it handled," Naruto said, though Sabo saw him immediately looked to Bluejam and Outlook. Naruto wasn't a great liar, but he was usually better than that.

The woman made a neutral noise. Then, "Gaara?"

Gaara glanced between Kei and the captive pirates and guards, then crossed his arms over his chest. The sand that he'd been holding everyone with started to wisp away, but he didn't stop blocking his captives' eyes and ears.

"Very well," she said, to the general lack of response. With deceptive ease, she stood and made her slow, disinterested way down the trash heap. She never stumbled or paused, simply taking step after step down to the real ground. "Naruto, Gaara, please take your friends and leave. I'll deal with this situation."

Sabo froze. The way she said it, this woman was as cold a killer as Bluejam's pirates were. As detached as Outlook. It was just pointed at people who'd kill his brothers and his friends instead. And now the people who had been trying to hurt his family were the ones in danger, and yet…

"Kei-sensei…" Sabo blinked as Naruto gripped his shoulder. "Don't kill them."

She paused in the act of drawing one of her swords, even as her pet turtle rolled to meet and greet the other monsters. "Why?"

Sabo stepped back, out of Naruto's grip, and Luffy latched onto him with both arms. Across from him, Ace grabbed Fū's wrist and dragged her along as they started to retreat. Sabo couldn't quite tear his eyes away from Naruto and his…bodyguard, as the two of them stood in front of the people who'd once held all the power. People who were now at the mercy of a woman's whim, just the same as they'd held their lives before.

Sabo swallowed.

"I'll tell you later," Naruto said to the woman, "but it's important."

After a painfully long pause, the woman finally nodded. "Go, Naruto."

Naruto set his jaw, just like Ace would, but he listened. Gaara abandoned his attempts to restrain anybody once they had all gotten out of sight, or at least Sabo thought so. Before long, they were running right out of Gray Terminal, with nobody following them at all. Even the usual crowd of beggars and poor people who stuck to this area had long since abandoned it, sensing trouble. It wasn't hard to tell that they probably had better survival instincts than anyone who would spend time near that woman.

They were in the forest by the time it happened.

The only warning any of them got was a muffled "Oh shi—" from Naruto, and then Sabo's world collapsed.

It felt—it felt like being underwater and cold and insignificant, choking on nothing while his lungs froze in a half-taken breath. Sabo hit the ground, Luffy landing on him, but he hardly felt it. He had to get away, get away—

And then Naruto grabbed his wrist and pinched. "Ow!"

"Hey!" barked Ace, as Gaara pulled on his ear. He flailed with his pipe, but only struck Gaara's sand shield. "Hands off!"

"Sorry," Naruto said, letting go of Sabo's wrist, "but usually this kinda stuff needs pain so you can block it out."

Fū was stretching Luffy's face, to limited effect. "Wake up, Luffy! It's just a—um…"

"Wh-what was it?" Sabo stammered, unable to stop himself from clinging to Luffy even so. "That—that didn't feel like…"

"It's killing intent," Gaara explained, which wasn't much of an explanation at all. He'd let Ace go, at least, but his sand was still distinctly not on the ground like it was supposed to be. Or in the gourd on his back. He looked spooked. "I didn't know she could do that."

"Kei-sensei was really pissed off." Naruto frowned. "Usually she aims better than that."

Sabo shuddered. He didn't want to know what it would be like if someone that scary was on the verge of losing control, and yet heard himself asking, "What's she gonna do? Naruto, you're the one who knows her…"

Naruto grimaced. "Um…"

"She said she'd leave them alive," Ace recalled, still looking unnerved under his usual mask of bravado.

"You'd be amazed what you can live through," Fū mumbled, shivering. Her hands shook as she reached back over her head and pried Chōmei out of his resting place on her back. Then, mid-motion, she froze in place.

Chōmei's voice said, in a slightly peevish tone, "Fū, it's safe to lift me out. Isobu just wants to be able to see."

Fū shrieked like she'd been set on fire, scrambling out of her backpack straps and tossing it to the ground in a blind panic. She brushed frantically at her back and hair, but Chōmei just wriggled slowly out of the backpack before turning to allow the next passenger out.

When it unrolled from its armadillo-like ball, Sabo recognized its green-gray shape. It was the same shelled creature that had been on the woman's lap earlier.

"Hey, Isobu," Naruto said, greeting the little monster without a hint of fear.

"Naruto," it said, nodding. "Where did Yang Kurama and Shukaku go?"

"We're right here, Three-Tails," said a voice from Gaara's direction.

After a few seconds, Naruto's orange fox monster companion surfaced from the mass of Gaara's sand, followed shortly by the weird raccoon. The fox shook out the sand, then stalked over to the misplaced rock turtle and said, "What took you so long to get here?"

"Don't yell at Isobu for things he can't help," Chōmei said, bristling all the way down to his tail stubs. "Not everyone is lucky enough to end up in the same spot."

"He can swim," Shukaku grumbled, his tail lashing.

"And did you honestly expect him to leave his partner behind? Really, now," Chōmei huffed.

"I can speak for myself," Isobu complained.

"That's great and all, but seriously what the fuck was that?!" Ace demanded, breaking into their little war council. Of animals the size of bread boxes. Ace made a flailing gesture in the general direction of Gray Terminal. "Who the hell was that woman? What are you all doing here? And why is Fū so freaked out?!"

"I'm not freaked out!" Fū protested, though she was still shaking.

"Fū is brave…" Luffy trailed off. Then he shook his head. "Fū isn't afraid of anything!"

Fū latched onto that thought for dear life. "That's right!"

Ace rolled his eyes. "Naruto."

"Kei-sensei has a really bad reputation," Naruto admitted, sitting back on his heels right next to the monster huddle. "But she aims it at people who're trying to kill me and people around me. She's not as scary as she acted back there."

"Normal people," Fū muttered fervently, "don't get 'flee on sight' orders."

"So did my dad," Naruto said, unbothered. "And he was Kei-sensei's teacher, so… It's kinda expected."

Fū looked away, her knuckles white as she crossed her arms.

"Your dad?" Luffy piped up. "Who's he? Is he like the Pirate King?"

Ace tensed, though Sabo wasn't sure anyone but him noticed.

Naruto shrugged. "Doubt it." As Yang Kurama climbed up onto Naruto's shoulder, he added, "Let's just get out of here. Even if there's nobody out here, this place doesn't feel right."

"But we didn't get the stuff to repair our place," Sabo mumbled. No, once Outlook had showed up, they'd forgotten everything. While the treehouse wasn't unstable or anything, they couldn't keep the wind out…

"Then we can take you to ours," Gaara rasped, before the sand reared up and they were already on their way.

It was the worst ride ever. Though Sabo had seen Fū fly and knew she could do it pretty fast, even she seemed unhappy with the weaving path Gaara chose for them as they shot through the forest. Gaara didn't care, obviously, and Naruto and Luffy and Ace all looked like they were enjoying themselves (if reluctantly), Sabo felt his stomach roll and leaned back against Fū in the hopes that her lack of sensitivity would wear off on him.

Luffy's stomach growled.

"I knew we forgot to do something," Fū mumbled, before she headed deeper into the hall.

Or was it a hole? Everything in here was a hole since they were all under a hill, right? Luffy hadn't understood how Gaara made this big squirrel den on his own, just deciding it was a mystery after thinking on it. Maybe Shukaku was kind of like a squirrel or a badger or something so he could dig, too, but the stuff around them didn't feel like sand. Sand got between his toes and moved really easy, but this was like just plain dirt. Farther back it turned into stone, but that was weird and slippery.

And then Fū was holding a bowl of candy in front of his face and he forgot what he was thinking about.

"This is the ugliest sea turtle I've ever seen," Ace's voice said, as he picked up the newest monster by its shell.

"Sea turtles have flippers at the back," Sabo said, though he was still sitting next to Luffy. "And they don't… have hands. That's still freaking me out…"

"I'm the only person here who doesn't," Chōmei said, still hanging out on Fū's shoulder. "You're lucky you all have opposable thumbs!"

"He looks like a crab to me, though," Luffy said as clearly as he could, cheeks bulging with candy. If he held his hands out, he could touch both sides of his face, but just barely if he didn't stretch. "Hey, crabby thing, what was your name again?"

The turtle crab thing reached up with its outside tails to grip Ace's wrists, then spat water right in his face. Ace sputtered and swore, trying to get it to let go and instead was being chased around by a waddling water-shooter.

"Okay, so maybe 'Crabby' works." Though Sabo's smile wasn't as bright as his real one, Luffy hugged him anyway. Sabo did good.

Then it spat in Sabo's face, too.

"Quit doing that!" Ace snapped, glaring at it as he dried his face off with his shirt. His head kinda disappeared, like was a turtle too!

"Shishishishi!" Luffy snickered.

And then the turtle sprayed Ace again.

"How mature of you," said Yang, resting one hand-paw over the other as he watched them. "Isobu, stop this at once."

"Spoilsport," said, uh...Wasabi? He was sort of green and he was making Ace sputter just as much. So it had to be that! "It is one of the few attacks I can use while this small."

"Can you two take it outside or something?" Chōmei asked, sounding a bit pissed off. "This isn't helping anyone."

Shukaku raised a sandy paw. "Oh, oh, let me!"

There was a whoomph, and suddenly all the animals were outside. Because they went through a wall.

Gaara raised a hand and sealed it up after them. It sounded like they were having fun out there, going by all the yelling and squeaky growling and sounds like things hitting other things, but Luffy didn't join in. Fū had another bowl of candy and he wanted that first, so he swallowed instead and held out his hands.

"Naruto?" said a voice, and everyone turned to look at the door of the cave-hole thing. "Though I doubt the Tailed Beasts would be fighting outside any other cave…"

Luffy turned a little later. It sounded like the person who'd appeared at the dump, but how would they know… Oh! He swallowed the next mouthful of candy, then shouted, "What's the password?!"

Everyone was kinda quiet for a little bit, though in Naruto's case it was probably because Fū was sitting on him.

"Um… I brought food?"

Luffy shot out of the cave before Ace or Sabo could grab him. In the bright sunlight, he dove at the sword-person's legs and wrapped his arms and legs around the left one. Setting his chin against what felt like a knee, he wailed, "I'm hungry!"

This person had a basket of some good-smelling stuff, and was dragging a huge dead boar with the other hand. Luffy drooled just thinking about being able to eat that much meat, especially after Fū gave him candy and he was so hungry...

"Dammit, Luffy!" Ace and Sabo yelled after him.

"Luffy, no!" Fū yelped, diving out of the cave with Gaara and Naruto on her heels. Fū stopped before she got to close, but the other two didn't.

The person lifted their leg really slowly, trying to shake him off without being too rough. When that didn't work, the person sat down and let Luffy's feet touch ground again. "Kiddo, I kinda need my leg." A pause, since Luffy didn't let go, and then, "Naruto, what's going on?"

"Luffy hasn't eaten in two hours," Naruto replied, and Luffy whipped his head all the way around to whine at him. "Or more."

"Naruto!" Fū tried to scold him, but neither Naruto or Luffy were really listening.

"Well, if he can let go long enough for me to cook it, I'll take care of that," said the weird new person.

"Food! Food!" Luffy unraveled his arms, leaning back and dangling by his legs. Everyone was upside-down now! "Fū, this funny person is nice! So you can stop being all weird now."

"I still don't trust her," Fū said, not coming any closer.

Luffy flopped backward onto the ground, then stretched until he could grab Fū's leg. Unwrapping his legs, he shot toward Fū and hugged her on impact. "But Fū, we get food!"

"I could get us food just fine," Fū replied, huffy.

"But food is here now," Luffy argued. "Please, Fū? Meat in my hand is worth meat in the bush." Or at least that's what Gramps always said. Wait a sec. "Why is meat in a bush? Are there meat bushes somewhere? We need to find them!"

"Luffy-logic in action," Sabo muttered, while everyone else did the owl-blinky thing.

Fū just patted Luffy's head, really confused. But at least there was no more arguing!

"I'm hungry, too," Ace admitted after a while. "But first… What'd you do to those assholes back there?"

"Nothing you need to worry about," was the flat reply. "They aren't in any condition to threaten anyone now."

"Did you kill them?" Sabo asked, and his voice was a little weak so Luffy looked at him, wondering if he needed a hug next.

A shrug. "Only one of them. The guy Fū kicked was the strongest, so I used him as an example. The rest didn't feel so much like fighting after that."

Luffy looked around at everyone's unsmiling faces, then reached out to poke the stranger. "Can we eat now? Mr. Mystery Person?"

"The name's Keisuke, kiddo," the person said, but moved to stand anyway. "And just so you know, no, that doesn't mean I'm a man."

"Biscuit lady!" Luffy repeated.

"Could we have something shorter?" Sabo asked.

Did he get it wrong?

"I also respond to 'Kei,'" said the weird person, drawing a sword and turning toward the dead boar.

Luffy cocked his head to one side, then chirped, "Hei!"

"Oops," said Sabo and Ace together. "Well, we tried."

"Quit copying me," Ace demanded.

"I'm not copying you. You're copying me!"

"Synchronized, aren't you?" Gaara commented.

Both of Luffy's brothers glared at Gaara, who stared back. But they weren't arguing anymore!

They ended up eating two whole boars because the little monsters brought back another one, dragging it with one beast for each foot. Whoever this Hei person was, Naruto liked her and so did Gaara, and Luffy always felt better once he and his brothers had food. Fū was the only one who was still kinda upset, but she wouldn't leave any of the others alone, so things worked out and Luffy had all his precious people in one spot.

Eventually, Luffy and his brothers did end up going back to their treehouse once they had the stuff to repair it. It took a week of scavenging really carefully around Gray Terminal and they stayed with Fū's friends for a bit there, but it did get done.

And as soon as the ASL Pirates moved out, Hei stopped being an everyday sight. Luffy learned later that she'd moved up the mountain, because Fū still didn't like her, but that was okay. If he brought Sabo or Ace with him, or both, he could find Hei's house and get her to cook more. Sometimes she even had sweet cake things that stuck to his fingers, even though he was made of rubber. She also didn't yell if he ate them all. Neither did the little turtle, who sometimes followed them all the way back home. He couldn't climb the tree, but sometimes Luffy would stretch and pull him up anyway.

The FNG group—which was totally copying the ASL Pirates!—visited a lot, or got visited, and sooner or later life was super loud and Luffy loved it to bits.

And then Gramps showed up again.

Once again, the punch-happy grandpa appeared out of nowhere on sleepy little Dawn Island. Naruto hadn't worked out where he landed, though he knew the guy was a Marine and had to dock his ship somewhere since he sure as hell didn't live on the island. Instead, Naruto kept patrols of clones running through the forest in the shape of bugs and other stuff, trying to be sure no one got caught off guard by the guy ever again. Thus, Naruto was the first one to know when Garp was headed their way.

While Kei-sensei lived farther up the mountain to give Fū some space, she came down almost every day to help with training and making them non-wild food and whatever else the FNG trio needed (though she made a funny face whenever she heard the name). Naruto had told her about Luffy and Ace and Sabo and their shitty grandpa, and he didn't need to be a sensor to know she wasn't happy about the situation.

And she hadn't come down the mountain today. Not yet.

Naruto cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, "Time out!"

Gaara let Sabo yank his pipe out of a fist made of sand, while Luffy had Fū in a rubbery headlock, and Ace got dog-piled by Yang Kurama, Shukaku, and Chōmei the instant his and Naruto's sparring match ground to a screeching halt. Okay, sure, Naruto had been a bit distracted by impending doom, but he could handle himself without their help.

"Why'd you stop?" Usually, Ace would have thrown in in a curse or a taunt, but Naruto guessed he could sense the sudden tension. Even Yang Kurama, who was sitting on Ace's leg, didn't look happy.

"Your evil grandpa just reached the forest," Naruto said in a grim voice.

Everyone with visible skin went pale with fear. The Tailed Beasts bristled instead.

Except for one. "Who is this 'evil grandpa'?" asked Isobu.

"Remember when we told Keisuke about how we became friends in the face of a greater foe?" Gaara asked, thought it sounded a bit like he didn't really want an answer. "It's him."

"Oh," said Isobu, more thoughtfully this time.

After that, everyone else was so busy fleeing toward the FNG base—so named because it sounded cool and because "base" was what they were using it for—and toward the "safety" of the trapped zones that only Naruto saw Isobu curl into a ball and roll away. Since the bear on stilts mostly didn't notice the Tailed Beasts unless they were biting him, Naruto figured he'd be fine, and probably fast enough to reach Kei-sensei if he kept rolling.

Several minutes of controlled-panic running later, the shouting started. "You can run, but you can't hide, brats!"

Naruto signaled Fū with his left hand, and she and Chōmei did a spin on their next step that ended in a blizzard of sparky powder shooting toward the direction Garp might've been. It probably didn't do much other than make him look like the world's scariest victim of a glitter prank, but it got everywhere and it itched pretty bad. The attack bought them a few precious seconds—long enough for Chōmei to spit thirty meters of sticky silk across the shortest path between Garp and their group.

Up ahead, Luffy whooped with surprised laughter as Gaara threw him over the mouth of an open pit trap and into the bushes beyond it. Sabo and Ace made the jump on their own, with Gaara sweeping after them on a carpet of sand that hid the trap's exact dimensions from the enemy. Gaara also made sure that the ASL bros kept going, hanging back only to make sure Naruto and Fū were going to make it.

They almost made it.

But the bear crashed through a tree, landing just where Naruto had been running a split second before. Naruto yelped as the ground buckled and rolled, throwing him off balance and nearly sending him stumbling into Fū's outstretched wings.

"You're not the ones I've had the longest," the old bear began, "but you've earned this, too. Fist of Love!"

Ohshit.

Naruto shoved Fū, preparing to take the hit because it'd take him less time to heal—

"Reverse Summoning Jutsu!" squeaked Isobu's voice from nowhere.

—And then there was Kei-sensei, wrapped up in Tailed Beast chakra and blocking the punch with one glowing hand. The energy that made a V1 chakra cloak dangerous rippled and dispersed the force of the punch, sending shockwaves through the air but nobody else.

Why hadn't any of them thought of that? What the hell?

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" Garp demanded, though he pulled back and shook out his fist, like he'd finally hit something too tough or weird to break.

Kei-sensei stood up to her full height—still way smaller than Garp—and said, "Kids, run. I can handle this."

"Kei-sensei, you didn't fight him before," Naruto protested, even though he could feel Fū pulling on his arm and the others needed him. He'd designed most of the traps around their base and they were mostly armed, still.

"That was an order, Naruto," Kei-sensei told him flatly. "Go."

Naruto opened his mouth to argue more, but Fū finally yanked him off-balance so she could get him to rejoin the others. And anyway, his voice would have been drowned out by the immediate, deafening slamming noises and flying debris that followed, because Kei-sensei and Garp hadn't wasted any time getting right down to the fighting part.

Fū flew them across the covered pit even though Gaara would never have let them fall in, and even if carrying Naruto's uncooperative weight with one arm was bad for her balance. When she let go, Naruto, Fū, and Gaara all tore after the ASL brothers like their lives depended on it.

Something exploded behind them.

The FNG group ran faster.

Naruto skidded to a stop once he reached the open end of one of their many side tunnels. After the bear on stilts had plowed through last time, they'd made sure all the entrances were too small for him to get in. Luffy and his older brothers, though, were small enough to fit just fine. All three of them brandished pipes in a white-knuckled grip until they recognized the other gang of kids.

"Where's Gramps?" Ace asked, still cautious.

"Keisuke appeared," Gaara explained, which was kind of a lame explanation. Summed things up, though.

Naruto bit the side of his thumb, trying to think of ways to weaponize that reverse-summoning trick. "So maybe we should—"

Another explosion rocked the forest.

"I guess they're still busy?" Fū guessed, looking over her shoulder warily. "I mean, if there's anyone who could stop the Tidal Blade…"

"Are you kidding?" Ace gaped at her, completely stunned. "I hope she kicks his ass into next week!"

"But she's the—" Fū began.

"Wait, no," Sabo began, holding out his hands to stop the fight.

But Naruto had long since lost patience.

"Will you shut up?" Naruto burst out, glaring at Fū with his connection to Yang Kurama acting up. "Kei-sensei's never done anything to you, or to any of us! What the hell is your problem?!"

"She's the kind of person who gives all jinchūriki a bad name!" Fū shouted back. "There was this village, in the middle of the Land of Fire—one of yours—and sh-she killed everyone there, and she's killed whole t-t-teams and I-I don't want that to be us!"

Naruto froze, while Fū fought to keep from crying. She was really that afraid of Kei-sensei? And wait, a whole village? Did she mean Sorayama?

"But isn't that what shinobi are?" Gaara broke in, drawing everyone's attention. Under their stares, he just said in a flat voice, "Shinobi are weapons that serve their villages. Keisuke is a strong kunoichi, but she's easily what any of us could grow up to be. There's no way to go through shinobi life without doing something terrible. Even so…" Gaara trailed off for a second, thinking. As Fū sniffled, he asked, "Who told you Keisuke was untrustworthy?"

"Only everyone," Fū mumbled, rubbing her reddened eyes. "Shibuki and my tutors and…"

"I don't know about everyone," Gaara said after a little longer, crouching next to Fū. "But Keisuke is the reason I can talk to Shukaku now. Why we don't hate each other."

"Huh?"

"She and Isobu helped us learn to talk, instead of fighting," Gaara explained.

Naruto scratched his head. "And the only reason we know each other is because Shukaku finally got in contact with Yang Kurama and Yin Kurama, back when we were little. He couldn't do that before."

"And she makes us yummy food!" Luffy said, hugging Fū with his rubbery arms. Once his stretching yanked him into her shoulder, he added, "So don't be sad, Fū! We're all okay right now!"

Fū bit her lip and didn't respond, other than to hug Luffy back.

Naruto sighed. What a mess. "Look, we'll talk about this later. Right now, let's just go inside."

A few hours passed, and Luffy ate all their food with Ace and Sabo's help because no one wanted to go out and get another tiger. Fū sat and sulked for most of it, not even doing more than picking at her food and seeming sick to her stomach. Gaara had Shukaku on his knee and Chōmei on his shoulder, and the three of them talked quietly for a while after dinner.

Naruto and Yang Kurama waited at the entrance of the cave until Isobu rolled in.

"Is it done?" Yang Kurama asked his turtle-like brother.

"Well, they are heading this way and neither of them are dead." Isobu's tails wiggled. "The rest is going to be part of our talk next."

"Ugh, words. And with a human none of us like," Yang Kurama muttered, settling onto Naruto's leg and lowering his head onto his paws. "Wake me when it is over."

Gramps looked worse than Ace could remember. He had a big ol' knot on his head, bigger than the ones Ace and Sabo and Luffy usually ended up with whenever he came calling, and his knuckles were busted up like he'd been hitting stuff way harder than rock. And being hit back, too. On the other hand, while Kei's clothes had some blood on her and dirt and two missing sleeves and stuff, she didn't really look hurt. Not like anyone else would after fighting Gramps.

"I heal really fast," Kei said, when Sabo asked about that.

Ace was sure she was brushing them off, but he'd seen Naruto break a finger once and be fine after an hour. And Gaara's nose didn't look like it'd ever been busted. Maybe it wasn't just an adult thing.

"You'd make a decent Marine, if you weren't a no-good pirate," Gramps told her grudgingly, while everyone cooked up a bear the Tailed Beasts had caught. There wasn't much of a head left, so Ace hadn't asked how.

"I'm not a pirate," Kei said, poking at the fire with a stick.

"Well, then you should become one!"

"A pirate?"

"NO, A STRONG MARINE!"

Kei wiped spittle off her cheek and glared back. "Not interested. I've had nothing but trouble from Marines since I got here, and yes, you count."

Ace had never heard anyone tell Gramps "no" before and not get punched. His and Luffy's jaws both dropped, while Sabo looked confused as hell.

He'd learn.

"Then you shouldn't be wearing Whitebeard's emblem on your back," Garp argued.

"Who's Whitestache?" Luffy asked, while picking his nose.

"Luffy, stop that," said Fū, snagging his hand and trying to get him to stop. Luffy's stretching made it pointless.

"Whitebeard's an old pirate, out on the Grand Line," Kei explained, while Ace and Sabo leaned in to listen. Her voice changed a little as she spoke, sounding like she was talking less to them and more just because she was remembering. "He's considered the Strongest Man in the World, I think, but mostly I hung around since he was one of the first people I met. And his crew decided I was their new best friend." She picked at the sleeves of her now-battered coat. "So, I've got the jacket, and weaklings got scared off while I traveled. The end."

"You didn't want to join them either?" Naruto asked, from Ace's left.

"I didn't spend twenty years defending Konoha and fighting as its kunoichi to join up with the first recruiter who asked. Pirate or Marine," Kei said flatly. "Not while I have a job to do."

"And you…what? Fought your way off the Grand Line?" Fū asked skeptically. Ace didn't think she knew much more about the Grand Line than he did, but it still sounded really cool. And really impossible. "That's like…"

"I had," Kei repeated with terrible patience, "a job. Which is to protect Naruto, even if I have to get into a fight with Vice Admirals or Sea Kings or whatever other things this place throws at me."

Gramps crossed his arms, making a thoughtful noise. "Then you're staying here?"

"I might have to find some people," Kei said, casting a glance at Naruto, whose eyes widened. "Other than that, my job hasn't changed."

"Kei-sensei," Naruto said, drawing the adults' attention to him, "you're not gonna run off, are you? You're really sticking around Dawn Island. Mostly?"

Kei sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yes, Naruto. I built a house and everything."

"YAY!" Luffy and Naruto cheered together.

Ace and Sabo exchanged glances. Going by Sabo's hesitant smile, he probably thought it was a good idea that the only adult who could get in a fight with Gramps and walk away was probably on their side. And while Ace wasn't quite sure of that, yet, at least Gramps seemed to be a bit less likely to hit them in the head while she was around. If only because Kei was a bigger target.

Ace crossed his arms and said grudgingly, "I guess you're not a shitty old hag."

"What a ringing endorsement," rasped Gaara.

Kei, though, gave Ace a look that made him wonder if she was seeing right through him. Just for a second, he wondered if she knew. So, he squared his jaw and did his best to stare right back, just in case.

Then she said, "Thanks?" in a sorta hesitant voice and the spell was broken.

What a dork, Ace thought. This is the same person who killed Bluejam?

"Even if Ace is Roger's son?" Gramps asked, and Ace's blood ran cold.

Ace was already on his feet, backing away. No, no—Gramps, how could you—

"Ace?" Luffy asked, before looping his arms around Ace's waist to keep him from moving. Instead, it meant Luffy got dragged along with him. "Ace, come back!"

Luffy already knew. Luffy was safe. Sabo was safe because Ace had told him, because the two of them were brothers and so was Luffy and they'd never leave each other over something like who Ace's father was. But Naruto and Gaara and Fū? The woman who could fight Gramps to a fucking tie and god damn it—

He had to leave. He had to get away—

"Who the hell is Roger?" Naruto asked, even as he darted to Ace's left side, matched by Sabo on his right.

"Get away from me!" Ace snarled, making the older blond kid hesitate. Unlike Sabo, Naruto didn't latch onto him, preferring to keep his distance.

Good. He knew Naruto was still stronger, and Ace didn't want him too close. He'd need every advantage he could scrape together if he was gonna get away.

Fū reached for him. "Ace—"

"Ace, it's not—" Sabo began.

"It is a problem!" Ace snapped, though he couldn't shake Sabo loose. Some small part of him didn't want to, but he had to leave before Gramps's stupid fat mouth made things worse. And Sabo wasn't letting go. "Sabo, you remember—"

"What would you say if the Pirate King had a son?"

Ace choked on the knot in his throat. Gramps was here and he knew and he made Dadan promise to look after Ace, but Gramps had just told—

"A son? That devil of a man?!"

"It'd only be right to kill him, of course!"

"Would serve him right for carrying that demon's blood in his veins!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Kei roared, silencing everyone else. Even the voices ringing through Ace's head.

Ace looked up, trapped between his brothers and his maybe-friends and the forest and the fire. Unable to run, he sat stock-still as another one of those rogue waves—of cold, deadly anger, ripping through the fire-warmed air like it was nothing—swept past all of them. Ace felt its fingers anyway, and from the way Sabo gripped his arm harder, so did he.

"I don't care," Kei began, ignoring everyone else in favor of bearing down on Gramps like a landslide, "if you're that kid's uncle, grandpa, guidance counselor, or his pet jackass. Just going by his reaction, you weren't supposed to tell anyone who his old man was. Just why the hell did you think it was a good idea to do it anyway?"

Ace blinked, tears threatening to run down his face. What?

She didn't—

"If you're going to protect my grandsons," Gramps said, getting to his feet and looming way more, "you'd better know what you're getting into. I won't allow a dirty no-good pirate anywhere near them unless they are safe."

"They're never safe with you!" Kei snarled back, "When you're around, all you do is chase them all over the island! Which is apparently once in a fucking blue moon, since this is the first time we've met!"

"Gaara," Naruto whispered. "Now."

Sand sprang up all around them, cutting them off from the outside world. In the dark, Ace couldn't see anyone, but he could still feel Sabo and Luffy. Gaara had to be there, since there was so much sand, but it took until Fū said, "Let's go home," before Ace realized she was in the dome, too.

The ground shook, and Ace clung tighter to his brothers as the sand globe moved.

And the sand spat them out in the FNG base, all in a pile, and it took everyone a second to untangle themselves. Ace was free for maybe half a second before Fū grabbed him and, for once, didn't squeeze that hard.

"I'm so sorry your grandpa's a jerk," Fū said, when she pulled back and Luffy inflated back to his normal shape. Fat tears welled up in her eyes. "If-If you want, I can forget he said anything! That's a promise."

"Garp was a jerk before this," Naruto said, and he patted Ace's shoulder before adding, "I dunno what they were talking about, but you're our friend first. Whoever your dad was… Well, you've heard us talk about our parents before. It doesn't matter to us."

Fū had said once that normal people didn't get armies to run from 'em. But Naruto's dad had. What did that make him?

Gaara just nodded, and Ace wondered if he hated Rasa as much as Ace hated Roger. Gaara didn't talk about a lot, ever, but it wasn't hard to tell he and his dad weren't close. And he never talked about his mom.

Sabo hated his dad, too, and Ace knew he never wanted to see him again. Ace still didn't know exactly what the old noble bastard had done to Sabo, but whenever the question came up he wanted to break the guy's knees.

Fū didn't know her parents, and neither did Luffy. He just had Gramps, and the villagers he couldn't see anymore if Gramps was around.

"It's different," Ace muttered, though his heartbeat was slowing back down.

"Why?" Naruto asked. When Ace glared at him, he held up his hands defensively and said, "No, seriously. I don't know who 'Roger' is. Gaara? Fū?"

The duo shook their heads. Fū scrubbed at her eyes with her arm-warmers, pressing her lips together.

"If you don't wanna tell us, that's fine," Naruto said belatedly. "But I'm trying to make a point. None of us are gonna treat you differently. Okay?"

"How do you know?" Ace bit out. "Everyone always thinks stuff like that, but once they learn they'll…" Ace's heart was in his throat. "You're wrong."

"I didn't!" Luffy said, poking Ace in the chest with his chin. "And neither did Sabo! We're your brothers forever. Just because your dad's the Pirate King doesn't make us any less brothers. You're ours first!"

Sabo smacked himself in the face. "Luffy…"

All three of the FNG squad looked at each other.

"...Yeah, I still don't get it. Sounds kinda cool?" Naruto shrugged.

Ace saw red. "It's not 'cool!' You think it's somehow okay for that bastard to—that if people find out, they'd kill me just for being his son?!"

"That's stupid," said Gaara, sitting down next to Shukaku as the little monster showed up. "They're stupid."

Eh?

Naruto nodded seriously. "Gaara's right. That part sounds like the same kind of shit that made Kei-sensei so mad. I don't believe in it."

"Besides, they'll have to go through us." Fū's fists clenched. Her eyes almost glowed orange as she looked up, though they were still a bit puffy. "We might not be your brothers, but we are your friends. Right? And friends look after each other."

"We won't let anyone get even close to hurting Ace!" Luffy swore, squeezing Ace's waist harder. "So, don't look so sad, Ace. We love you."

"Come on," Sabo said, tugging Ace and Luffy back to their feet. Or Ace's feet. Luffy seemed to want to be carried instead. "We're gonna all stick by you tonight."

"I'll keep watch," Gaara volunteered, with Shukaku at his knee. He was blocking most of the kid-sized entrance with his body and the gourd thing on his back. "You're safe here."

Ace wasn't sure he believed that. But with his brothers both glued to him like limpets, and his friends doing their apparent best to help? Maybe he could try.

Sometimes, they trained.

(Keisuke's voice would say, "Punch from the hip, everyone!"

Luffy's would respond in a deafening shout of, "BUT MY PUNCH IS LIKE A PISTOL!"

"I don't care if it's a cannon! Learn how to throw one in case you can't use your powers!" And Gaara never learned exactly how Keisuke expected Luffy to fight without his Gomu Gomu no Mi past that, because Naruto and Ace got into a brawl again.)

Other times, they doused fires set by the Goa nobles and evacuated the residents of Gray Terminal, with the help of the Dadan bandits (strong-armed at worst and reluctant at best), and the mysterious Revolutionaries. Naruto didn't know as much about fighting fire with his primary nature transformation, but he could shout and keep the air clear while Fū led people to safety. At the same time, Gaara divided his sand between keeping Ace, Luffy, and Sabo out of direct danger, and corralling the fire into a manageable area. All while someone with a force-based Devil Fruit physically shoved trash mountains out of the way.

Gaara was the only one who didn't stumble back up the mountain covered in soot early the next morning, and almost the only one who didn't end up with a cough from inhaling smoke. His sand armor took care of that, for the most part, and Wind Release ninjutsu took care of the rest.

The fire wasn't a part of their routine, but it didn't have to be. It was just another wild night in this unfamiliar world, which became more and more like home every day. Each dawn brought a new adventure, though the challenges they faced on Dawn Island were generally limited to other people. There were no enemy plots, no politics other than what Keisuke and sometimes Dadan would complain about, and no foes beyond what they could handle. For Gaara, it was like a vacation—or at least what he imagined vacations could be like, from books. He even got to celebrate birthdays, which he'd never experienced genuinely before.

But all things came to an end, eventually.

Exactly a year after their mysterious arrival, Gaara woke from his two-hour daily nap because Sabo was shaking him.

"What is it?" Gaara rasped, then let out a faint noise of pure shock as he saw his hand gripped between both of Sabo's.

He could see right through it. Not perfectly—the outline was still there, and Gaara could still make out his tendons and the veins visible through his fair skin—but it was like he was a mirage. It was like he was fading right out of the world.

Gaara reached out, and Sabo hugged him hard enough to make him grunt in surprise. With the blond's top hat poking him in the face, he heard the crying start. Though Gaara still wasn't much for hugs, despite spending so long with Luffy around, he found himself gripping Sabo with as much strength as he thought the other boy could stand. Gaara might have been the weakest of his group when not using his Tailed Beast-granted powers, but this place had taught him the value of physical strength. Even with his body disappearing before his eyes, he had some left.

Was this how he had arrived? Gaara didn't remember it, and neither did anyone else he'd asked, but this—

"Don't disappear!" Gaara's eyes darted to the side, and he spotted Ace shaking Naruto by his collar with tears in his eyes. "Fight it, you jerk!"

"I'm trying!" Naruto snarled back, but his voice broke on the last word and his arms wrapped around Ace's neck. "I don't want to go!"

Luffy wailed, wrapping his arms around a fading Fū. While snot dripped from his nose and rivers of tears burst from his eyes, he sobbed, "Y-y-y-you s-said you'd join m-m-m-my crew, Fū! Th-that we'd g-g-go be pirates!"

Fū just let out a wordless, hiccupping sob, her face crumpling as much as Luffy's had. She crushed Luffy against her chest, as little as it mattered.

"I should not be able to see through my own tail!" Shukaku bellowed, unheeded by anyone else. "WHAT IS HAPPENING?!"

"I wish we knew." Chōmei's voice was still clear, though he was fading as much as his brothers were. "It doesn't feel any different than just existing…"

"That hardly worries me now," Yang Kurama said, his ears flattening against his head. "But is it happening to all of us? Even my other half?"

Keisuke's voice interrupted the crying and the pleading, utterly controlled. "From what I can tell, probably."

When Gaara could look past Sabo's hat, he saw Keisuke and Isobu approaching, with Dadan at their backs and visible straight through them. Gaara's grip on Sabo tightened minutely, but he didn't know if Sabo would even notice when he was trying to squeeze him to death.

"Do you know what's happening?" Gaara asked, his voice coming out calmer and more level than even he expected.

"How the hell should I know, brat?" Dadan demanded, but his stare rested on her long enough that she started to fidget. As low a standard as she set, Gaara privately wondered if she wasn't still better than his father. Dadan had never been Gaara's favorite person, but she was better than Garp and seemed to care about Luffy, Ace, and Sabo, despite all the shouting. And now, though her charges were distressed but perfectly healthy, she was already digging handkerchiefs out of her shirt. "Damned little shits, always making m-m-me—I'm not crying!"

"None of us said anything, you hag!" Ace snapped, scrubbing furiously at his eyes with his forearm. But he didn't let go of Naruto, who had one hand fisted in the back of Ace's shirt to keep him from moving too.

Gaara looked to Keisuke again. "Keisuke…"

Keisuke sighed aloud, running a translucent hand through her hair. "Near as I can tell, we're not dying. But…" She shook her head. "We might be going home. None of us remember how we got here, right?"

That got three nods, and Gaara's heart sank. He wasn't the only one unhappy with the idea, but he was certain he was the only one with nothing to go back to. His father, his uncle, Kankuro, and Temari were physically present, but nothing more. He could keep in contact with Fū and Naruto, but they were in different villages. Fū wasn't even from an allied one...

"You don't know that for sure," Sabo said, his voice dull.

"I don't. I can't," Keisuke admitted in a low tone. She and Dadan sat down nearby, and Keisuke crossed her arms while Dadan sobbed and engulfed the much smaller woman in a bear hug. From somewhere in the middle of it, Keisuke's voice managed an audible, "I'm sorry."

"If—If you're going home," Luffy managed, through his ongoing hiccupping sobs, "then y-y-you're not gonna c-come back!" He clung even harder to Fū. "I-I don't w-w-want to say goodbye!"

"I-It's not goodbye," Fū insisted, lifting Luffy's head so he could meet her eyes. "It can't be!"

Whatever was going to be said next was drowned out by a trio of shrieks, as all three of the ASL brothers suddenly lurched through their FNG counterparts. Sabo suddenly dropped to the ground, where before he'd been hugging Gaara. Looking around, he spotted Luffy stuck in a spool of his stretchy arms while Fū stood up and reeled in horror, and Ace suddenly stumbled as Naruto's weight was removed. Kei stepped out of Dadan's grip, passing through the space like it wasn't real.

Or like they weren't really there.

Gaara got up and tried to extend a hand to Sabo to pull him up, but his hand passed right through as though Gaara was a ghost.

"Can you still see us?" Naruto asked, looking at his hands and gripping his own arms. Gaara didn't know what to make of the expression on Naruto's face. Maybe he'd start crying, too?

Ace swung a pipe through his head, to no effect. Fat tears welled in his eyes, as he choked out, "Of c-course we can, you idiot!"

"Well, I didn't know and had to make sure—ah!" Naruto squeaked suddenly.

Gaara had some idea why. His fingertips were disappearing into thin air. When he looked further, he could see his toes doing the same thing, and a quick glance confirmed that it was happening to Keisuke, Naruto, and Fū.

"Stop doing that!" Dadan shrieked, but her attempt to slap Keisuke in the back of her head went entirely unnoticed as her hand passed through. "A gh-gh-ghost?!"

"No!" Fū was disappearing even faster, with motes of yellow-white light swirling around her like fireflies. Her eyes, though, were trained on Keisuke. "Please, there has to be some way we can stay here. Don't you know any fūinjutsu that can help?!"

"Fū, I—"

"You're supposed to be nearly invincible! Y-you have—if not you, who?" Fū's arms were vanishing even as she cried. In a tone of surprise as well as desperation, she continued, "If—I don't want to never see any of you again, even you!"

"Keisuke, is there a way?"

Keisuke frowned, then crossed arms that were barely there anymore. "I don't know yet."

"Promise you'll help me try!" Naruto interjected. His jaw was starting to vanish, and the firefly effect was getting more intense. He turned his attention to the ASL brothers, then nearly begged, "Please, don't forget us."

Gaara lifted a hand, holding it out, and Sabo did his best to rest his fingertips against the mere outline of Gaara's. It took him a few tries and a loud sniff to get his dribbling nose under control, but Sabo did it. And he said, "We'll never forget."

"I can't ever forget!" Luffy flailed his arms, trying to hug Fū and failing.

"Everyone, maybe—" was as far as Keisuke got before she vanished into thin air, taking Isobu with her.

Naruto eyed the spot where she'd last been, ground his teeth, and said, "We'll talk. All of us. When we—" And then he was gone, too, as was Yang Kurama.

"Hopefully we'll see you soo—" Fū managed, before she faded away with Chōmei.

Gaara set his hand on Sabo's shoulder, though neither of them could see it. "Thank you. For being my friends."

"H-How dare you make us cry!" Dadan screeched, as all three of her adopted sons cried in earnest.

And then the world went dark.

EPILOGUE

"Do you really think we can do it?"

"Fū, since when is Gaara the optimist instead of you?"

"Naruto, please get to the point."

"I just want to see this work this time! It's been so long… I hope they still remember us."

"Well, I'll ask first thing when I go through, okay? Gotta say though, your schedules suck. What if they're not all in the same spot?"

"Then we'll deal with it. Go, Naruto."

"And don't screw this up!"

Ace wasn't having a normal day, though there were those among his crew who might've said so based on the number of things that were currently on fire. The sea had only tried to turn into a corkscrew thing twice this week, coughing up the detritus of the deep in the form of Sea King bones just once, so by New World standards this was smooth sailing. Sort of. They weren't sailing, but the saying worked just fine.

Now, it had been a while since Ace had seen his first Emperor—which he couldn't remember all of now, because Shanks was generous with booze when he wanted to be—and they were on the way to the next.

There was just one roughly spherical, kimono-wearing, amphibious blue problem: Jinbe, the Knight of the Sea.

And for some reason Jinbe seemed to think that Ace was going to kill Whitebeard. In fact, Ace was trying to figure out what the old man's deal was and to poke around a bit so he could kill Whitebeard later, but Jinbe pushed the issue. He was a Warlord, after all. One of the World Government's attack dogs, where Akainu wouldn't wander out of Paradise unless he had a target in mind, despite his title.

"I won't let you attack the Whitebeard Pirates without a fight!"

Five days later, and Ace's fight with Jinbe—something Eastwood would call "beating his head against a wall"—had finally cracked the brick shithouse of a fishman instead of Ace's forehead. Kei probably would've disapproved, as much as she'd tried training the Demons of Mt. Colubo into thinking tactically, but sometimes there wasn't anything left to do but fight.

The moment Jinbe collapsed in place, hitting the bloodstained ground face-first, Ace followed suit. Everything ached, from both pure pain and from exhaustion. But at least Jinbe was down. His crew was weaker. Ace's crew would be safe.

Now if he could only just—

The air was suddenly full of the sound of something cutting through the nearby waves. Ace did his best to twist his head toward the sound, digging dirt and gravel into his face as Eastwood shouted, "What's that?!"

"Where's the kid who wants to take my head?" asked a rumbling baritone voice.

Shit.

"As you wish, I'll take you on!"

And Ace's whole crew cried out, "It's the Whitebeard Pirates!"

"I'll handle this myself," said the old man. A shockwave radiated out from him, blasting Ace's crew back and out of the way.

Shit shit shit—

Ace gathered his remaining strength and lurched to his feet, glaring up at the man renowned as the strongest in the entire world. If he was going to die here, it'd be on his feet, and without taking his crew down with him. Though he still hurt everywhere, Ace wreathed himself in flame and prepared for round two.

"Flame Net!" Ace shouted, using nearly the last of his strength to form a flaming barricade between the impending fight and anyone who'd get hurt.

"Captain!" Sinbad screeched from beyond the wall of flames, tall enough that even Whitebeard couldn't see over it. "Captain Ace, what are you doing?!"

"Run, you guys!" Ace ordered them. Dammit, if for once he needed them to obey—

"Captain!" Eastwood wasn't going anywhere.

Ace was about to open his mouth again, to call Eastwood an insubordinate sack of shit or whatever else he could think of, but Whitebeard interrupted with, "You're gonna run away now?"

"I'm letting my crew escape," Ace corrected, eying the Emperor warily. "I'll stand in their place… and I won't run."

Sure, Ace could already hear phantom voices of Sabo and Naruto yelling at him, but what else could he do? Luffy and Fū would egg him on, because they were both just as stubborn, and Gaara would have his back. Here and now, he didn't have any of them to rely on. But his crew had him, and Ace planned on living up to that trust.

Loud and clear, Naruto's raucous voice said, "How the hell do you keep getting into these messes?"

Dunno, Naruto. Just lucky, I gu… Wait. Ace froze, his flames almost going still. That had sounded just a bit too real. He looked around wildly, because there was no way there could be anyone inside the flame barrier when he'd just made it to keep everyone out.

But there was someone there, a little off to the left. Dressed in orange and black, with spiky blond hair to contrast Sabo's waves, at least the last time Ace had seen either. Instead of the goggles Ace remembered, this person wore a metal plate on his forehead that looked a little like the one Fu used to have on her bicep. He looked about nineteen or maybe twenty to Ace's eighteen, but was a couple inches shorter. By the time Ace pieced all the details together and recognition was beating him over the head with a hammer at the sight of those freaking whisker-looking birthmarks, his jaw was well on its way to the ground.

The guy crossed his arms and said in his way-too-fucking-familiar voice, "Not really the welcome I was—" And he scrunched his face just like Naruto used to and Ace lost it.

"YOU ASSHOLE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Ace roared, stomping over to Naruto and hauling the long-lost fishcake into the air by his jacket collar. "What the hell was with just disappearing back then, anyway?"

"Aww, Ace, I knew you cared!" Naruto grinned, showing all his teeth, and Ace suddenly remembered that Naruto bit. Hell, so did Ace, but Ace dropped him on his ass anyway. He liked his fingers where they were.

Naruto landed easily, cackling. "There we go! That was the reaction I was looking for." Yep, this was Naruto. Older, taller, but without much of a voice change. The hell? "I was worried I'd been gone too long and you wouldn't recognize me."

"You say that like you're easy to forget," Ace complained.

It was so easy to fall back into the old rhythm with Naruto—who was, in many ways, too much like Ace to back down—that Ace briefly forgot the situation at hand. Heck, even the Flame Net started dying down when Ace didn't pay attention to it, and his crew clearly hadn't run away.

"Ahem," said someone, and then Ace remembered.

Marco the Phoenix, Diamond Jozu… Shit. Even aside from Whitebeard, there were too many strong pirates here. Even if the Spades ran now, there was no way they'd get away before the Whitebeards caught up. And even if Ace's flames didn't eat chakra or whatever Gaara tried to explain once, he wasn't sure he'd make it either.

"Naruto, get my crew out of here," Ace said, forgetting momentarily that Naruto wasn't a part of anyone's command, not really. He was Ace's friend, but—

"And leave you behind? Hell no," said Naruto.

—He could always do that.

"Naruto, this is serious," Ace snapped. "For once in your life—"

"I don't care. You're hurt, he's not, and I'm not leaving you," Naruto growled back.

Argh. "I'm not gonna run from this fight. I can't." He was the biggest distraction the Spades had, and by far his crew's strongest fighter. It had to be him.

Naruto gave him a narrow-eyed glare. "Kei-sensei would hand you your ass if she heard you talking like that again."

Ace blinked. "Kei… Wait, why're you the only one—" Ace smacked himself in the forehead. "Never mind, I don't need to know! Naruto, we're in the middle of a fight here!"

"Then let me help!"

"It's not your fight! I got my crew into this and now I'm gonna get them out!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Ace spotted Diamond Jozu whispering something to a doublet-wearing guy on his shoulder. What were they talking about?

"You know Kei-sis?" asked someone toward the front, who Ace didn't recognize. No bounty, then. "You know, short-haired woman with a scar on her face?"

"Looks like a pretty guy at first glance?" added Jozu.

"Humph, barbarians. Anyone with a trained eye would recognize she's a woman," said a guy in a kimono and full makeup. Ace was too tired to point out any irony there.

"Sounds like her," Naruto said, still eyeing the Whitebeards warily. "Who are you people anyway?"

Aside from the crackle of the fire, everyone had gone silent. The weight of Naruto's ignorance crushed the sound out of every living thing in the area.

"Naruto," Ace began, before slowly raising both hands to cover his face. "Naruto, you idiot."

"Give me a break!" Naruto protested. "I just got here!"

"How are you still alive?!"

"Excuse you, I'm doing just fine!"

Ace might've been able to reach over and start throttling Naruto, if he didn't know his blond friend was lightning-quick, but he was about to try anyway. It'd be cathartic. After Jinbe, Ace had about enough energy left to manage it.

He and Naruto were both cut off by a sudden rumbling laugh from Whitebeard himself. Unnoticed, the strongest man in the world had approached, towering over both of them with his bisento in hand. "You are both quite the cheeky little brats."

Ace didn't back away, but he did tense up. He felt Naruto slide into place next to him, following his lead for once in their lives. Though they hadn't fought together for years, at least not against—wait, the last time they'd fought alongside each other, for real, was back when they'd been facing off against Gramps. More than six years ago, now.

This was a bigger problem than Gramps. Whitebeard was stronger and this was for keeps. Not sparring in the woods or being chased around by crazy old guys. No, Ace had sought this one out personally. Sort of.

He still would've preferred if Jinbe had just stayed the hell out of this.

They stared down (or up) the strongest of the Emperors for what felt like forever. Ace's Flame Net guttered and died, and the Spades crept closer under the watchful eyes of the Whitebeard Pirates even though Ace distinctly remembered ordering them all to head back to the Wild Card before he inevitably lost. He'd have them scrubbing decks for ages after this, assuming they all lived.

"You want something, don't you?" Naruto asked after a while, crossing his arms.

"Must be our sparkling personalities," Ace said, glancing sidelong at Naruto.

Naruto shot a grin back. "Ooh, nice pun."

"Shut up." And yet, a smile was pulling at his face anyway. Well, they were both going to die, but at least they'd probably die laughing.

"You two ever think about going into comedy?" Marco the Phoenix asked.

"No," said Ace.

"Good," was the reply. Smug bastard.

"I'd almost tell Banana-head to take that back," Naruto muttered in a completely audible voice. "But hey, it's the truth."

"Looks more like a pineapple to me," Ace added, because okay, now he was invested. They were completely screwed.

And was that Marco the Phoenix looking like he'd almost pop a vein? Hah!

"Are… are you still going to fight?" Eastwood asked, and Ace honestly thought about it.

"The moment's been ruined," Whitebeard said. Though Ace wasn't sure he meant it to be intimidating—the guy just was—Whitebeard knelt in front of them and it felt like the island rattled under their feet. Was there some kind of minimum height requirement to being on his crew or—wait, no, the doublet-guy wasn't much taller than Sinbad.

Blood loss was probably finally kicking in.

"I'd hate to see you die here, kid," Whitebeard said, steadying Ace's swaying with a single finger to his shoulder. Ace reached up to brush him off, but the old man kept talking. "If you still want to fight, then take my name and roam the seas wild and free."

Ace stared blankly at him, jaw dropping. Was he serious?

"Become my son!"

And as soon as Whitebeard said that, Ace choked. Shock was quickly replaced by bubbling black bile, churning in Ace's gut like poison. He didn't—how dare this complete stranger try to drag him into this… Ace's mind leapt instantly to suspicion. Suspicion was safe. The only people he could trust were scattered around the world or not strong enough to face Whitebeard, and on top of everything Naruto was ignorant as hell—

One thought kept popping up in his head: Who in hell would want me as a son? There had to be something else going on. There had to be. He'd decided to kill Whitebeard years ago. What the hell was his angle?

"No," Ace spat, flames crawling along his arms. He squared his shoulders and got ready for a fight even if Whitebeard didn't care, though his limbs ached. "In fact, hell no. You might be the strongest man in the world. But I refuse to just go along with whatever you want."

Next to Ace's elbow, he heard Naruto crack his knuckles.

Whitebeard got to his feet, backing up a little so Ace and Naruto were both within his reach, but he wasn't in theirs. "Is that how you really feel?"

And Ace could breathe again without wanting to combust anything a second later. Anything that didn't need to be on fire, aside from Whitebeard, was safe. Ish. If there was going to be a fight, at least all the Whitebeards were on one side. Naruto would have Ace's back.

"Marco," said the old man, "make sure Jinbe is all right and get him back to his crew."

"Sure thing, Pops," said the Phoenix, striding forward. He effortlessly hefted the fishman over his shoulder and jogged back toward the rest of the Whitebeards. "Hey, Izo—"

"You're injured," Whitebeard said, his voice carrying easily across the island. "Come with me and my nurses will treat you, too."

"No," Ace snapped, though his vision was going dark at the edges. He didn't have a lot of time left until he passed out, but—oh, screw it. If his crew wouldn't run, and Naruto was at his back, he'd take advantage of what strength he still had. "Get the hell away from my crew! Fire Fist!"

And that was the last thing Ace remembered for a bit.

The first thing he was aware of when he woke up (which was a bit of a shock for a couple of reasons) was Naruto's high, scratchy voice saying, "Not your best plan ever, Ace."

"Oh, screw you," Ace groaned, opening his eyes. When he sat up, a blanket fell off him and pooled on his lap. He squinted at Naruto, who was making a similar expression right back at him, and reached out to smack his blond friend's shoulder because of course Naruto had something annoying to say.

Naruto made a face. "Hey, it's your fault we're on this ship in the first place."

He smacked Naruto's arm again, because he didn't need that commentary. Then Ace's brain caught up with what he was doing. "…Wait. You're really here."

"Yeah. Did you forget?" Naruto reached out and put his hand flat on Ace's forehead. "It doesn't feel like you've got a fever…"

Ace's head promptly caught fire.

"Agh! Stop doing that," Naruto scolded, then he blew on his hand as Ace put the fire out. "You sure haven't changed since we were kids…"

"Look who's talking," Ace griped. "Your voice didn't even change that much!"

Naruto made the fox-scowly-face at him again. "You had to tattoo your own name on your arm! What, did you think you'd forget?"

At that point, a hot nurse-lady leaned over from behind some kind of wall or desk or something, and said, "If you two start a fight in the infirmary, I'll deal with you."

They gave the woman a pair of innocent looks, which made her scoff openly. But she retreated behind her charts and things, so Ace slowly dismissed her as a threat. For now.

"Your crew's around," Naruto said, unprompted, and Ace let go of a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Once you lost, I made sure they were all right. I've got a clone looking after them."

"Still doing that, huh?" Ace leaned back on one of the infirmary pillows, which was harder than it had any right to be. The pillows were criminally under-stuffed. "Thanks, Naruto. You didn't have to."

Naruto frowned. "I didn't help fast enough against the old man, so I owe it to you and them." Naruto took a second to think, then said, "But enough about that. We have a lot of catching up to do! What's been going on since the three of us left?"

Ace blinked. "That's…a really long story."

"Bet mine's longer. So, you go first," Naruto insisted. He scrambled onto the bed and sat like a kid waiting for a story, arms balanced on his crossed legs. "Please? I'll tell you all about everyone else, after."

Ace sighed. "Fiiiine."

But before they could talk, the entire ship shook, jostling the two out of their seated positions. As they landed on the floor, a voice that rumbled even deeper than Whitebeard's snarled, "Which one of you insolent maggots decided to steal my partner and my scratching post?!"

"Oh, fuck no," Ace said in a very small voice. If he thought too hard about it, he could almost feel the moment Naruto had first introduced him to the fox monster. "That voice is too big to be Kurama—"

Naruto grinned. "Are you sure? He's had a growth spurt since last time you saw him."

Ace stared at Naruto for a long second, then reached over and pinched his ear.

"Ow!"

Served him right for being a smug jerk. "Shut up and reintroduce us, you jackass!"

And a few minutes later…

"THAT'S WAY TOO BIG FOR A GROWTH SPURT!"

"HE EATS HIS VEGETABLES!"

Kurama, fully grown and leaning up against the Moby Dick like it was a pool toy, said, "What an utterly disgusting idea. I have never touched a vegetable in my life."

Ace glanced at Naruto, while the Whitebeard Pirates ran around in a panic. Or doing a headless chicken impression, as Kei used to say. Ace took a deep, calming breath, then remarked, "This is a part of that 'long story' you had, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"Luffyyyyyy!"

Luffy turned his head all the way around even though he knew the funny smoking Marine was right in front of him, because he knew that voice. His arm was up to the elbow in the Marine's head but that was okay, since there wasn't any blood. Which was weird and really gross, but was not important! The really important thing was that he knew that voice!

"Fū!" Luffy shouted, pulling both of his arms out of the weird Marine's face and waving. Fū was on the roof which made her a little harder to get to, but Luffy had seen her jump from higher places and land just fine even if her wings weren't out, and—

The Marine hit Luffy while he was distracted. Choking white smoke knocked Luffy into the building across the street, and it held him there against the wall. This was even weirder than Buggy's weird Fruit power, and Luffy jerked his head back until it faced forward again and made a face at the Marine.

And then Luffy's next punch went through his head again. "Smokey-Guy, you're cheating!"

"You're not ready for the Grand Line, Straw Hat!" Smokey-Guy said, his voice all growly because he smoked so much.

Luffy decided to ignore him. "Fū, you're early!"

"No, I'm just in time!" Fū's voice declared, and then Luffy's oldest friend landed feet-first on Smokey-Guy's face.

The smoke stopped holding Luffy up, and he landed on his feet just as the wind started to get really bad. Smokey-the-Bear got out from under Fū's feet, too, and drew his weird weapon to try and get Fū to back away. Fū did, but not because of him. Instead, she pulled back until she was level with Luffy.

"This guy's weird, Fū," Luffy said, bracing a hand against his hat in case Smokey came after him again. "He turns into fog or smoke or somethin'."

"Didn't feel like it to me," Fū said, orange eyes going all narrow. She flexed her fingers and then leveled a glare at Smokey, taking a step forward again as her back started to glow with orange light. "I'll kick his ass whether he has special powers or not. I refuse to lose to a bully of a Marine!"

"Straw Hat is a wanted criminal! Help him, and you will be too," said the Marine, whose name was…

Eh. Luffy decided to call him Smokey anyway.

"I don't care what Luffy was doing," Fū declared, when her wings started to unfold from her back, under her short shirt. With all of them standing out, they made an X just like the crossbones on pirate flags. "You can't have him!"

"You're under arrest!" Smokey said, and pulled out his weird sword thing.

"You can make four wings now? Fū, that's so cool!" Luffy grinned. "Are you gonna finally join my crew?"

"Maybe!" Fū made her funny hand motion things that Luffy still couldn't name, then shouted, "Wind Release: Overpressure!"

Luffy wanted to fight Smokey until he stopped being a jerk, but the tornado Fū made blew straight through the town like it was a real one! Wind tore shingles off roofs and scattered Marines and picked up Luffy and Smoker and Fū and the weird guy with a cloak—where had he come from?—and threw them in all different directions after spinning them a lot. Though the cloak guy landed near Smokey and then probably started fighting him because of a mooring ticket—Luffy had heard of those from Nami—Fū swung an arm under Luffy's back and carried him away.

"So," Luffy said, twisting his neck around Fū until he could whisper to her, "Join my crew!"

"First, we need to find them, don't we?" Fū replied, grinning. "Then I'll stay for a while."

"Only a while?"

"Like I said last time, Luffy, I have—"

"—a job to do, I know," Luffy finished with a huff. "Princess stuff?"

"Sort of!" Fū smiled again. "I'll come back sooner next time, okay?"

And then she flew over Zoro and Sanji, so Luffy crawled down until he was hanging off her waist by his stretchy legs and grabbed both for the trip back to Merry! Zoro and Sanji screamed a little because they didn't get it, but Fū just beat her four wings faster. She'd gotten a lot stronger since they were kids and Luffy needed to care about weight and stuff.

It was even better once Sanji stopped trying to kick him in the face and looked up to see why they were flying.

Sanji did the heart-eyed goo-goo expression, cigarette puffing away. "Angel! May I have your name, vision of beauty?"

"Fairy princess!" Luffy corrected loudly, even if he had Sanji's shoe against his nose. Since he was holding Sanji by his other ankle, that sort of made them even.

Zoro began, "Luffy, what—?"

"I know some stuff!" Luffy said, twisting his neck so he wasn't mushed up again. "Like how Fū has bug wings and not bird ones. You're silly, Sanji!"

"How do you know this—this princess?" Sanji stammered.

"Hey, love cook, save it for the—OW!"

Luffy bounced when Fū dropped him. Sanji and Zoro didn't. Luffy let them complain a bit and then caught Fū where she was perching on the railing and hugged her three times over with his stretchy arms. "I missed you a lot."

"I missed you too, Luffy," Fū replied, hugging back. "And I'm sorry I missed you leaving Dawn Island, but I couldn't get away soon enough. But you've been making lots of friends, right?"

"I've been finding my crew!" Luffy grinned. He waved his arms, pointing to each crew member in turn. "See? This is Zoro, and that's Nami, and this is Usopp and that's Sanji and they're all the best crew ever! I don't have a musician yet, but I want one next!"

"Sounds perfect!" Fū let go of Luffy and Luffy let go of Fū, and then Fū said, while putting her wings away again, "Hi, everyone! I know this is kind of abrupt, but my name is Fū. I'm one of Luffy's weirder friends!"

"You mean from before he became a pirate?" asked Usopp, looking like he didn't believe Fū a whole lot. And this from the best liar Luffy knew!

Fū nodded. "And he only came up to my knee!"

"I don't think I was that small. Did you shrink? You used to be taller," Luffy said, tilting his head to one side. Then he shrugged, turning his attention to the adventure at hand while Sanji continued to make moon eyes at Fū. "Nami, Nami, where are we going next?"

"Reverse Mountain," Nami replied, looking between Fū and Luffy like she still didn't really know what to say otherwise. "We have all the supplies we need—no thanks to you—and we're going to be out of East Blue in a few hours!"

"Okay! Then let's do it!"

"Sounds like fun!"

Everyone froze, except for Fū (who was explaining to Sanji that she wasn't related to Zoro and didn't stop when they did) and Luffy (who knew that voice).

"Wh-wh-who said that?" Usopp stammered, whirling around frantically.

And then the biggest bug ever descended from the rain clouds and the sky behind it, waving his little feet. "I did!"

"CHŌMEI!" Luffy shouted, waving his arms back. "YOU GOT HUGE! HUGER!"

"I am the hugest bug!"

And while Usopp demanded to know where Luffy had been keeping the world's biggest flying stag beetle, Fū sat back and said, while no one else was paying attention, "This is going to be the best vacation ever."

Sabo's first hint that something was wrong was when he walked into the Baltigo base and found everything covered in sand. He quickly checked the weather outside—still snowing—then realized what he was doing and stopped. With Revolutionary intelligence putting Crocodile somewhere in the depths of the next best thing to Hell, there were only so many other things that could be going on. And most of them didn't involve a gigantic sand tanuki making snow castles.

…There was something wrong with that sentence.

Sabo shook his head. In some respects, this situation was a little less awkward than the last few times friends dropped in for a visit.

"Hello, Shukaku. Having fun?" Sabo asked.

"Just because you asked, I will happily tell you that I, the Great Shukaku, am unspeakably bored." Shukaku lifted a hand the size of a small ship and pointed toward the base's front door. "Go say hello so Gaara can stop wasting time with human pleasantries."

"Are you saying you wouldn't join in if you had the chance?" Sabo asked, reaching up to rest his hand against Shukaku's palm. He still remembered when the little ball of desert-style death could fit in his arms. Not that Shukaku's pride would allow it.

Rather than answering immediately, one of Shukaku's fingers popped off and slumped into the snow in a large clump of sand. Sabo eyed it until it sprang back to life, turning into… Ah, that made sense. For reminding Shukaku of those times, his prize was apparently a Shukaku offshoot of the exact same dimensions as he remembered from his childhood.

"I will follow you in so I know you are doing as I ordered!" said the little Shukaku in a squeaky voice, climbing up Sabo's coat without asking permission. He never did.

"Of course," Sabo said, and the two of them trekked into the base.

Aside from the sand, which was pinning most Revolutionaries in place by their ankles, the place was intact. Few papers had been disturbed, and the persistent grit in the air seemed mostly to be a detection system instead of an accidental loss of control. Sabo ignored most of it and headed for Dragon's office. His friends had an instinct for finding the commander of any given organization and heading straight for them at full force. Even if Sabo's observation haki didn't point in that direction, he knew enough about Gaara's habits to predict that much.

And besides, Shukaku was kind enough to have his clone undo the sand bindings as they went.

"What the hell is going on, Sabo?" asked Koala, once she could move again.

"We have a visitor!" Sabo replied, and ducked before Koala could pinch his cheek for giving such a blatant non-answer. "I'm serious, Koala. Gaara didn't hurt anyone, did he?"

"One of Hack's other students got caught mid-jump but…" Koala paused as she watched more and more sand crumple and flow toward Dragon's office. "No, I don't think so. Might have some pins and needles, though."

Shukaku scoffed, drawing Koala's attention to him."Gaara has better control than to hurt humans he doesn't want to hurt."

"Sabo… Isn't that the same monster from outside?" Koala asked slowly.

"And don't you forget it, human," Shukaku said, before Sabo could answer. He puffed up his little face using lungs Sabo was sure he didn't have, then screeched in a voice that reverberated across the base, "Don't make me come find you, Gaara!"

Sabo sighed, coming to a stop in front of Dragon's door. Before he could raise a hand to knock, though, the World's Most Wanted Man opened it. Or rather, a clump of sand the size of a fist had latched onto the handle to open it, and Dragon said, "Enter," as though total takeovers of Revolutionary-held command positions happened all the time.

"I assume you know our guest," said Dragon, as Sabo and Koala entered with Shukaku in tow.

Then again, Sabo thought as he nodded to Dragon's tattooed visage, I did write the last four incident reports.

And last time, Naruto had stuck around long enough for Sabo to write a letter to Ace and promised to deliver it, giving the Revolutionaries plenty of time to get used to the fox-faced young man. Fū, likewise, popped into one of Sabo's infiltration missions and provided an easy exfiltration while chattering about how much Luffy was growing back on Dawn. Their respective animal-shaped monster companions had also been making waves—literal and otherwise—across the New World ever since they all appeared in fits and starts. While the Marines still had no idea who they were, there was a chance that could change.

Across from Dragon, one of Sabo's oldest friends sat tentatively tasting what looked like pastry from who-knew-where. His expression was as level as it always was, green eyes blank and dark-rimmed. At some point he'd gotten his wild red hair under control, somewhat, and had ditched his all-black outfit for a sort of dull red ensemble with a padded chest armor piece. Over this, he wore a veiled hat marked with a character for "Wind" emblazoned across the front and a thick white robe, neither of which were exactly chic.

Of the trio who had once made up with FNG gang, Gaara was by far the hardest to pin down, and had only been spotted visiting Luffy once and Ace not at all, which Fū attributed to a vague "busy schedule." Given the apparently-formal clothing, Sabo was willing to guess it was the kind of schedule that involved ruling a country.

"It's good to see you alive and well," Gaara said. "It's been a long time."

"Only about ten years," Sabo replied easily, relaxing. So Gaara hadn't come for business. Sabo strode over to him and clasped his right hand against his old friend's. As he shook Gaara's hand, though, Sabo added, "But did you really have to take over the entire base?"

"As if we would do any less!" Shukaku said, sliding down from Sabo's shoulder and ending the handshake with his bulk. The clone hit the floor and scattered before reforming and stomping his way to Gaara's leg.

"Shukaku did insist," Gaara allowed, "but I was curious about this mysterious Revolution our friends told us about." He sat back, eyes sliding slowly toward the equally nonchalant Dragon. "It's about what I expected. A younger version of the Akatsuki, and more ambitious. Better-organized, possibly."

"Can't say we know who those people are," Koala said, "but I guess that's a compliment?"

"It is," Gaara replied.

"Well, then," Koala paused, then added, "Then can you undo all the sandy damage you've done to our base. We thought Crocodile was hitting us out of nowhere."

"My apologies." Gaara glanced at her, then at Shukaku.

"Oh, fine. Whiny little…" Shukaku raised a pair of sandy hands to pry his jaws open, then kept going and ripped the top of his head off. In a blur of yellow and the sound of wind ripping through the base, the little monster blasted all the sand back into the outside world, and then dissolved into the wind like his very own dust devil. The tiny, angry, shouting twister shot out the door and down the hall, taking the storm with him.

Dragon, for his part, ignored the dramatic exit. Instead, he said to Sabo, "I'm sure the two of you have quite a bit to talk about."

"Well, we do have some serious catching up to do. Mostly later," Sabo admitted, "I assume you got my letters, right?"

"Of course I did," Gaara replied. "Naruto and Fū made sure I stayed informed even in Sunagakure. Which is why I'm here now."

Sabo's eyebrows shot toward his hairline. Heedless of Koala's confusion, he leaned forward and scrutinized Gaara for any hint of what was coming. Gaara had long established that he didn't do much unless there was a purpose, and what Gaara viewed as a reason to act was often more serious than Sabo's brothers' whimsical approach to life. Since attaining political office, he was even more grim.

Dragon asked, "What happened?"

"Originally," Gaara said in a level voice, "I wanted just to be able to visit my friends. To attend a reunion, perhaps. But to leave my village, I needed an assignment that only the Kazekage could complete."

Sabo eyed him. "And that's you."

"Yes," said Gaara. "And Naruto suggested that the best plan would be a diplomatic mission." Gaara's mouth twitched minutely up at the corners. "But you know as well as I do that no one at home is a friend to the World Government. Not when our only real experience with them involves being chased around by Marines. Not when the ASL brothers hate them."

Sabo had a sudden vision of Garp of all people, whom he hadn't seen since before leaving Goa. Yes, he could see how the man could make an impression. And given that Naruto and Fū had never made a secret of bucking authority they didn't like whenever they appeared near the Whitebeard or Straw Hat Pirates, never mind the Revolutionaries… "There's something to be said for ingroup loyalty, isn't there? Thank you."

Gaara shrugged with one shoulder. "Being Kazekage gives me some freedom to negotiate. Or to avoid negotiating. Naruto and Fū have less influence." His faint smile became a wry one. "And more free time."

Which neatly explained a question that had been bouncing around in Sabo's head since he first realized Naruto and Fū were making appearances, when Gaara had not. Gaara clearly had the means to visit—by whatever mechanism that worked—but had been stymied by his schedule. It was something that the Celestial Dragons never really seemed to have trouble with, but then, they were mostly useless, cruel deadweights the World Government felt obligated to bend over backwards to please.

Dragon looked between the two of them, assessing their words and probably tiny tells that Sabo hadn't learned to recognize yet. Koala did the same, but a little more obviously.

"I can't offer you an alliance," Gaara said in a more formal tone to Dragon. "The Suna Council of Elders prefers it when I consult with them first."

"Naturally," said Dragon, inclining his head.

"Anyway, the reason I am here is to deliver this," Gaara said, drawing a letter out of his robes and handing it to Sabo.

Sabo, with Koala blatantly peeking over his shoulder, read aloud, "You are cordially invited to the First Non-Annual Dawn Island Demons Reunion, to be held at an undisclosed location convenient to all attendees. If you don't show, we'll just go to where you are and save you the trip." Sabo paused. "Okay, which one of you wrote which part?"

"None of this is my doing," Gaara lied, because Sabo knew politician-speak when it beat him over the head. When Sabo gave his redhead friend his best skeptical expression, eyebrow raised and all, Gaara added, "Thus far, Ace has suggested Whitebeard territory, and Luffy has suggested his crew's ship. What about you?"

"I'll go wherever everyone else does," Sabo replied, wincing inwardly at the thought of inviting any number of pirates to the Baltigo base. It would be a security nightmare even if no one had secret World Government sympathies. "Is anyone else from your end of things going to be visiting?"

"And does he get to bring anyone else?" Koala asked, her expression innocent of any inclination to spy on any of the powers involved.

"I don't mind. Chōmei will be handling entire ships," Gaara said mildly, getting up now that the snack session with Dragon was effectively over. "One more person among hundreds is not a problem. But as for us… It's been more than a decade since you last saw Keisuke, hasn't it?"

Sabo blinked, standing aside so Gaara could start to head out the door. As he followed, he asked, "She's still alive?"

"Very much so." Was it just him, or was Gaara's voice slightly exasperated toward the end there? "Were it not for her assistance, we wouldn't have been able to make these trips in the first place. Unfortunately, she's almost as busy as I am."

"And Naruto and Fū aren't?" Sabo needled.

"There is a massive difference between being upper administration and being terrifyingly powerful regardless of responsibilities," Gaara replied.

"Paperwork?" Koala quipped.

"Paperwork," Gaara agreed as they headed out.

AN: Thanks for reading the single longest one-shot I have ever attempted. I put the spotlight as much on the kids as possible, to explore some of the bits of later CYB that may or may not happen. Not sure yet!

Answers to questions you may have:

1) In this scenario, the displaced shinobi ended up where they were due to a jutsu misfire. Part of the six-year gap between their disappearance from East Blue and their dramatic return was spent figuring out how to replicate the effect. They quickly learned that the chakra costs were too high for ordinary shinobi to survive, which is why only the trio continue to visit.

2) No time passed between the shinobi leaving and coming back, at least in their world during the first displacement. All subsequent visits have the two timelines sync up.

3) Kei not getting a POV section was completely deliberate, because the focus remained on the kids the entire time. I wanted to experiment with these six in particular.

4) Teach was winning his canonical fight against Ace. And then Naruto appeared. (Banaro Island is now much flatter than it was, and the Paramount War does not happen.)

Feel free to ask me anything else in the reviews!