It's Not a Big Deal

Jay heard the pop, pop, pop and adrenaline immediately rushed into his veins. He jumped up from where he had been working on the laptop at the kitchen table and ran into his bedroom to grab his gun. He plugged in the code and ripped it from the box and ran out the door. He hit the street to hear the pop, pop, pop again. He wasn't quite sure what he was hearing as it didn't particularly sound like gunfire. He looked up the street to see another man exit his apartment building, looking confused and uncertain, and also holding a gun. Jay looked at him, his gun held high aimed at the man when another round of pops went off, causing them to look towards a narrow alley between the two buildings.

"Chicago PD," Jay yelled. "Put your gun down," he barked as he saw what the sound was and who was causing it. "It's just firecrackers. Kids and firecrackers."

"I, I just heard the noise. Thought someone was shooting."

"Are you police?" Jay asked.

"No. Just a guy. I drive a city bus."

"Then it would be better for you to call 911 than come out here with a gun." Jay explained putting his gun in the back of his waistband. "Go back inside. I've got this."

"All yours," he agreed turning and stepping back into his building.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded as he swung is attention to Liam and Dylan, who were standing there next to the remnants of the noise makers just inside the alley. He slid his gun into his waistband and crossed his arms.

"Just shooting off firecrackers," Dylan said as if it was no big deal.

"Just shooting off firecrackers. Just shooting off firecrackers," Jay repeated. "Well did you see what happened when you just shot off firecrackers? Two people came out with guns and only one was trained to use it. Where did you get them?"

Dylan shrugged. "A kid around the corner. I paid for them. They were mine."

"Pick them up and let's go," Jay ordered.

"You're not my father," Dylan argued.

"I am right now. Let's go!"

Liam who had stood there mute, bent over and picked up what was left of their little festivities. He handed them over to Dylan. "We should go." He saw how angry his father was and didn't think that Dylan understood how volatile the situation could become if they argued with him.

Liam fell in step with his father, but Dylan wasn't keeping up. "Let's not play games," Jay said taking the boys' arm. He held it tightly enough to send a message but so tight that it would leave any marks.

"Leave me alone," Dylan said as he attempted to pull away.

"I will not leave alone. You are with my son, and that makes you my responsibility right now. And I am taking that responsibility very seriously."

"It was no big deal. It was just a few firecrackers. You are such a cop."

"Yes I am. A cop and a father. And right now you are pissing both of us off. Which one is yours?" Jay asked as he scanned the nearby doors. But Dylan refused to answer.

"That one," Liam pointed to faded red door that held several buttons for the tenants. "Number four."

Jay pushed the button and they heard an audible click indicating that the door had been released. It was the same system that most if not all of the multi-occupied buildings around here used. You needed a key or to be buzzed in to gain access to the building.

Once inside they walked down the hallway to the back apartment where the door was ajar and Jay followed Dylan inside, while Liam lingered in the hall. Jay still had a hold of the boys arm. "Are you going to let go of me?"

"Where are your parents?"

"Mom! It's just my mom. My dad moved out weeks ago. He lives in Canaryville now. Mom!" He yelled out again as Jay let go of him.

"What! What is the problem?" She asked as she came into view. "Oh, sorry. I didn't know we had company."

"Jay Halstead," Jay said offering his hand.

"Oh, Liam's father. I just love Liam. He's such a good influence on Dylan."

"Well, not today he wasn't. Look, I don't know whose idea it was, but Dylan admitted to buying firecrackers and the boys were lighting them off and caused some issues." He went on to explain the details including his uncooperative behavior. "Where's the lighter Dylan?"

"Liam has it." Dylan stated, his face pinched and angry.

She turned and looked at her sulking son, who had sat down on the couch. "I'm sorry. It's been a rough few months. His dad and I have recently split and it's been—well, it hasn't been an easy time. Dylan's been upset. I probably haven't been dealing with any of it very well. He misses his dad."

"I get it. I'm a single parent too. But I think it might be best if the boys don't hang out together for a little while."

She nodded. "I understand."

"I work long hours and I can't be worried about Liam getting into trouble with Dylan. I'm sorry, that didn't really come out right." Jay said, his face and voice reflecting exhaustion.

"No. I get it. He's been a handful for the last—well, the last year or so. It started when my husband and I had began having our problems. He's not handling our divorce well."

"Hey, we're not far, if you need anything. Do you have a pen?"

She ran to a small hallway table and grabbed a pen and pad and handed it to Jay, who wrote his cell phone number down. "I can't always answer. But if you need to talk or help," he said looking over at Dylan, "just leave a message and I'll get back with you as soon as I can."

"Thank you so much. Sometimes a stern and deeper voice helps out so much."

"Sure. Well, time to use that voice on my son."

"Thank you Mr. Halstead."

"Jay is fine."

"Melissa," she replied.

With Dylan deposited, Jay turned his attention to his own son, who had faded into the hallway. "Let's go," he barked. Jay kept a quick pace, causing Liam to practically jog in order to keep up. "Do you have your key?" He asked as he had left in such a hurry the key had been left behind. Liam quietly pulled it from his pocket and handed it over. Jay unlocked the front door and handed it back as they entered their own apartment, where the door was still left wide open from when he had run through it.

As Jay turned to close it Liam attempted to slink off to his room. "Freeze," Jay yelled before even turning around. "Sit down," he barked pointing to the couch. He then went and put his gun into the lockbox before returning to the living room. He stood quietly near Liam, who hadn't seemed to notice his presence yet. It was Friday night, a few days after Halloween when his son seemed so young, and sweet in his costume. Jay had been working on the computer, researching for a case and got so caught up in it he hadn't even realized it was almost dark.

He tried to put things in perspective, but was struggling as memories washed over him in crashing waves. He took a deep breath, it caught, almost as if it prevented a sob, which it most likely did. He could see the top of his sons head, he took another breath, bent over as if that would help him and stood back up and walked into the living room area. He was on the edge and he knew it, he tried to breathe through it, but it wasn't working. God help them both.

"What the hell dude?" He demanded, all composure he had attempted to corral, gone.

"What?" Liam asked with a bite to his tone as if he was challenging his father. A move Jay did not appreciate or take lightly. He wasn't a demanding disciplinarian, but he would not tolerate disrespect. His patience was fleeting.

"Excuse me? I would check the attitude right now. Where's the lighter?" He asked, holding his hand out. Liam stood up, paused, a shadow of defiance flickered across his face. "Don't fuck with me kid," Jay yelled. "Are you looking to get spanked?" But he instantly regretted his words. "Sorry. I'm sorry. But don't you get it?"

"No I don't," Liam said standing up. All of his uncertainty and caution gone with his father's apology. "It was just a few firecrackers."

"It's dark outside, you live in the middle of a large city, they sound like gunshots. Didn't you see the guy come out of his building with a gun? Huh? Give me the lighter!" Jay demanded.

Liam patted his pockets, but was doing so too slowly and too deliberately for Jay's taste. He knew he was on the brink of exploding and he knew why he was there, but he was powerless to stop himself. He grabbed Liam and spun him around so his back was against Jay and dug into the boys jeans pockets and came up empty. He then let him go and pulled his jacket off of him and found the lighter in the right hand pocket. "Where'd you get it?"

"Dylan had it."

"I thought I told you to stay away from him after that incident in Mrs. Harris' yard."

"I thought it was a suggestion," Liam said in full pout, his arms crossed.

"You thought it was a suggestion?" Jay said, his eyes reflecting his frustration. He tried a few tricks that he had been taught by his counselor that had helped him to deal with his PTSD. He closed his eyes for a moment, counted, pushed his memory aside and focused on what was in front of him. But it was all easier said than done. He told himself Liam was a little boy who didn't understand what was going on in his father's head. Who didn't understand the ramifications of what could have happened.

"Well it wasn't a suggestion." He began. "You don't play with firecrackers ever! And you most definitely don't play with them without adult supervision. Nor do you play with lighters! And you most definitely do not ignore what I tell you."

"It's not a big deal!" Liam yelled back.

Jay shook his head. Liam had generally been obedient and passive when it came to being disciplined, but tonight he was a whole different kid. "It is a big deal," Jay said grabbing his son by the arms as he looked into his eyes. "Unforeseen consequences. What if that guy had come out and shot you or Dylan or some random person on the street? What if someone else had? What if he had panicked and I was forced to shoot him. Small things can become big things real fast. Don't you get that!?" Jay said shaking him.

Liam's eyes were huge and Jay saw the defiance all but gone, replaced by fear. He quickly let go of him. "I'm sorry. You just don't understand. You don't get everything that can happen. Just go to your room."

Liam chewed on his lip for a moment as he studied his father, before he turned and found solace in his bedroom.

Jay collapsed into the kitchen chair and exhaled. Not his finest moment, but he kept his cool to the point where he didn't lash out as much as he feared he would. He closed his eyes and sat until he found the energy to get up and grab a much needed beer.