Wherein episode 1 of Critical Role's second campaign happens.

Edited 11/12/17 because fuck it, Rin is now capable of speaking Common.

Gustav surprised me with a gift on the morning we got to the first big stop I'd be around to see.

"You can't make it anywhere in the Empire without papers," Gustav said with a grin. In his ink-stained hands, he held a sheaf of papers and dropped them in her hands. "I didn't know if you'd want a last name, so I just picked something that sort of sounded right. Just make sure to memorize it so the Crownsguard don't catch you in a lie, all right?"

Given that I was not, in fact, named "Caretta Schiavoni" and probably didn't look the part, I had to wonder where Gustav had gotten the idea. Aside from Molly, Desmond, and Gustav, I hadn't exactly heard anybody else make much use of last names.

Ah, well. I'd been lying since I got here.

"Thank you very much, Gustav." I bowed deeply over the glorified passport. "You've been very kind to me."

"It's all right. One good turn deserves another, and you've been a model guest."

"Can you two please hurry that up? The station's just around the bend," said Desmond, and Gustav took his place at the head of the caravan with a spring in his spindly step.

Is that like your ninja registration number?

A little. As I checked on Isobu to make sure he was still locked in a costume trunk in the back of my wagon—driven by Ornna—I replied, In hindsight, I probably should have asked about official documentation before. I've just never been in a contiguous empire long enough to think about it.

We have been skating laws with wild abandon. Doing so is more fun. Isobu sent me the image of the inside view of the trunk to confirm he was still there, then added, Have you told any of them your plans?

Not yet. Once we get safely into town.

Isobu hummed a sad little note. Then, I hate this.

I didn't have to ask what he meant.

Even putting aside how much freedom Isobu won for himself over the years, being slammed back down into a shape he didn't ask for had to be a major setback. The freedom to move in the world didn't feel complete when he couldn't be sure he'd keep it. I didn't know enough about this world to be sure if Isobu's appearance would let him really wander freely, like he had when we were out in the Grand Line. Every day he had to spend like this, he was kicked in the face with reminders of his relative powerlessness. Worse yet, I'd heard him calling for his siblings late at night on my watch. There was never any response.

We'll make it back to them, I assured him. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but we'll go home.

Isobu grunted something indecipherable and ignored me. Fair enough.

Honestly, letting that conversation lie was as much for his benefit as it was mine. I didn't really want to talk homesickness.

I did, however, want to talk about my job with the circus. Gustav's passport thing said my work specialty was "sword juggling." Being asked to prove that sounded like a terrible idea for everybody.

"Ornna," I began quietly, "once we reach town and Molly and Yasha start their rounds, can I spend a little time on my own instead?"

Ornna snorted. "Do whatever you want. You're a grown woman."

No snide comment about how I'm not a member of the circus anyway? She must like me. "Thank you, Ornna. I'll make sure tell Gustav."

And to be honest, well, I might've just wandered around street corners and explored the town. New places with German names were definitely outside of my experience as either a jōnin or an adopted pirate, and I'd heard weird things about Oktoberfest in a lifetime or two. Even if this was just any fishing town, I at least wanted a chance to take a damn bath. I'd been listening intently to the carnival crew for any indication of what civilized life was like compared to the life of a roadie, though, since I hadn't asked questions, I only knew that Molly was magnetically attracted to bathhouses. Road dust and road sweat and no internal plumbing made for a very grumpy Kei, gotta say.

But I started picking out little flickers of something as we entered Trostenwald.

I'd known for years that people with chakra suppression skills could slip by me if they were good enough, especially because my range was a fifty kilometer radius. The best of the best, like Orochimaru, tended to be the types who could waltz right up to me and do jazz hands behind my head without me noticing. ANBU weren't quite as good, and most shinobi far less stealthy than that.

Rin wasn't even trying.

I stuck around long enough to help set up the big top tent and the performers' common areas. Yasha ended up not needing my help at all, so all I had to do after that was make sure no one else wanted an extra pair of hands in the mix. But after Ornna and Toya both shrugged off any assistance with makeup, because they'd done shows without my amateur ass before and intended to continue, I let Gustav know I'd be taking a day off and disappeared into the city.

I probably didn't read half the signs, honestly. I skipped checking out breweries and apothecaries, didn't get anywhere near Crownsguard strongholds or the seat of any government, and doubled down on my earlier resolution to avoid people.

This somehow put me on the opposite side of the entire city from the circus, still chasing the sensation of an autumn afternoon. Subtly, of course. (Or under a transformation technique to make myself look human again.) Even if I hadn't seen anyone spit at Molly or Bo while on the road, I knew enough to guess a country with established racial slurs for my current appearance probably had an attitude behind it. The power to punch people out on a whim was more useful in lawless backcountry when the only people around wanted to use your bones as soup stock. In an established city? Hah, no.

The chakra jumped from one alleyway to the next in my mind's eye. While perhaps not my best plan, I sent a pulse of my chakra outward as I passed in front of the second row of buildings. Rin wasn't much of a sensor unless in the middle of an exam, but hopefully she'd pick up something about me she recognized.

It didn't take that long.

As soon as I spotted a familiar figure, I was already heading right for her. "Is that really you?"

Rin, though short and slight compared to a lot of the local humans, probably would have stood out for other reasons. I hadn't seen a single Asian-adjacent person in the week I'd been hanging with the circus. Logically, I knew small towns didn't tend to be the most diverse places, but I'd met or seen at least twenty nonhumans. The only one with Asian features had been my reflection. Rin's long, dark hair was bound up in a braid and she wasn't wearing skirt and blouses she preferred in Konoha—due to transformation chicanery—but she was still recognizable.

Not exactly the same as my situation.

"It'd be hard for me to be anyone else." Rin ducked her head a little and looked up at me through her bangs. "So. How was your week?"

Her normally-dark eyes were entirely different, reflecting light like a cat's and her irises were streaked with blue, green, and purple. Her smile wobbled uncertainly. Rin's hair caught the light strangely, reflecting red and violet in turn. Her chakra felt different, with an edge I couldn't fully identify. Most of the chakra signatures I was used to were half-sensory data generally incongruous with people. I could compare them to shadows, or cheerful little fires, or lightning strikes.

I'd never run into a variation that felt like singing.

It felt like the damned mission objective from before this clusterfuck started.

Ugh, thought for later. I replied instead, "Not even a week. It's…been interesting. Sorry I didn't come find you sooner."

"I mean, it wasn't so bad. Not the worst survival training I've had!" Then she hugged me hard enough to make me think of crying uncle, if I hadn't been doing the same right back. Dammit, I'd missed Rin. "But we're both safe. That's something. "

"I went straight into survival mode," I admitted after we pulled apart a bit. She still had one of my hands in hers, and was performing a medical scan even as I spoke. "There were some travelers who dragged me out of a river. I came in with them just this morning."

"That's…a little more adventurous than what I've been doing," Rin said. She peered up at me, curiosity alight in her eyes. "Kei, you're not using Isobu's chakra, are you? It doesn't quite feel like that, but your biology is very different right now. What happened?"

"Well…" I dropped the pretense of still looking human. "I got a makeover."

Rin paused with her mouth dropping open in shock. Now that she knew where my horns were, she hesitated for a second with a fingertip a little above the central one. Even as she touched it, her expression was briefly unreadable even as her chakra started to jump up and down in excitement.

"Been thinking of filing that one down," I mumbled.

"You look a little like an oni," Rin breathed, a smile slowly spreading across her face. There was no way I was getting away from her now, and I'd never been happier to be on the recieving end of Rin's fantastic gush sessions. "This is why your scan was so strange! Do those horns weigh you down? And the tail—that's Isobu-san's tail with fewer plates, isn't it? Did someone modify pants for you? Are you feeling strange any other way?

"Um… So about…" I made a sweeping motion to encompass everything that had changed about my body.

"So I'm glad you're here. You're still Kei, even if you're different-looking now." Rin nodded firmly. "Aside from the obvious, nothing really changed! So, what else is different? You were vague about the week."

"I… I'm pretty sure I joined a circus."

Rin said nothing for a second.

I raised an eyebrow. "That's what throws you off?"

"I really can't imagine you wearing makeup and performing for the public." Rin was obviously biting down a laugh. "You don't even put on foundation during ceremonies back home!"

I rolled my eyes. "With one exception. And that's when you're doing all the work for me."

"Exactly!"

Still, we were making our way out of the alleyways and back toward the rest of town. I didn't particularly care about being seen as a tiefling once I wasn't alone. Some things invited a fight. A pair of foreign tourists would probably invite scams first, provided no one decided to ask for papers I was sure Rini didn't have. It was Rin's first time in a world where she wasn't aligned with the legal authority anywhere. Konoha backed us. Nobody here would.

"I'm going to need to get Isobu to translate for you when I can't," I said while we walked. "The main language here is the same one those star people spoke. Sorry."

To answer me, Rin said, "Actually, I don't think I do?"

In English. Or Common. Or whatever the fuck they called it here.

"It's interesting," Rin went on while I made a clueless fish face expression at her, "but even though the sounds are all different, I can understand everything most people say! The cadence is familiar, and all I need to do is think a little harder about what I want to say, and I know what they mean." She paused. "It does confirm that when my biology changed, my brain was at least partially rewritten. I'm not comfortable with that at all, just so you know."

"Uh, it's still more convenient than the scenario I was thinking of." I breathed a sigh of relief. One less step between us and getting out of this mess. At least, as long as we didn't think too hard about where the bonus language came from.

Rin's focus stayed mostly on me as we walked through town, though I could see her glancing around at the various buildings that didn't look at all like home. Hadn't seen any steeple roofs yet, though.

"The circus does not know I can talk."

"We'll fix that," I told Isobu.

"We can even have fun with it!" Rin suggested brightly, and off we went.

Rin was adaptable. She got along well with Isobu in at least a theoretical sense, because to my knowledge they almost never directly interacted. Rin's focus was on medicine, so she had a fantastic time quizzing me and other experts about how Tailed Beasts lived and could function as chakra given form. I'd never met a Tailed Beast I didn't think Rin would gush over, because her fascination overrode what most people could consider healthy fear.

It was kind of the opposite of how Isobu interacted with most of the circus. Isobu had a lot more fun messing with them that he ever would with Rin.

"How's this town been to you?" I asked in Japanese. On purpose, this time.

"Not super great." Rin put a finger to her lips as she thought. "I mean, I didn't get anything like the negative reaction I've seen directed at other people, but I've been stealing a lot." She paused for a second as we ducked past a pair of halflings hawking fish, sizing them up before continuing her thought. "Things feel tense here. It's not just about me. You can feel it too, right?"

The humans are mobilizing.

I repeated this remark for Rin's benefit, and her brow furrowed.

While maps were in short supply in the era before printing presses—which was a fact I hated for several reasons—I knew enough about the local geography to figure rural Trostenwald and the villages I'd passed were in the southern end of a massive empire. I couldn't recall offhand what the other towns were called without a way to check my spelling, but I'd been listening to town criers. Such as there were, in such tiny communities.

Somebody up to the north and east was trying to start shit.

"Anyway," I added once I'd explained my limited information, back to English again. At this point, I was testing Rin's code-switching ability more than anything. "I wanted to mention the whole 'human' thing we keep using as shorthand."

"I know neither of us are what we used to be, but I don't want to call anyone yōkai when it doesn't fit." Rin eyed the street again, and between the two of us we picked out at least half a dozen different races without a problem. A fifth of the town's population seemed to be halflings, while humans made up a decent chunk of the other eighty percent. That said, there were also half-orcs besides Bo, a single humanoid white dragon without wings, and half-elves here and there. "It's disrespectful even if no one else understands what it means. But do you know what everyone would be called?"

"I'd have to ask a few specific questions, but yes. Mostly." I pointed at my face, at my flat yellow eyes and otherwise quite eye-catching palette. "I'm a tiefling, for example." Or I looked the part, at least. "There's another one in the circus, but he looks different. Ten to one Isobu's influence is the reason I look specifically like this."

I heard that.

"Interesting. That must mean there's an established population, right? Or more than one. The horns are probably…genetic?" Rin looked thoughtful again. "Hm… Outside of Curse Seal transformations, I've never seen humans with tails or horns. That said, transformations besides surface-level techniques are definitely possible. I'd only have to look at the Inuzuka clan know that." She thought that over. "Any idea how this happened?"

"Not a damn clue," I admitted. With my brow furrowed, I muttered, "I just—maybe that mission…" If only I could remember clearly what the hell had happened.

"Could be," Rin agreed softly. "I'm glad we're both here to think about it, though."

"Ahem."

"You too, Isobu-chan!"

Nothing that small ought to have been that smug without a visible mouth.

But the rest of that conversation was put on hold by a quick hand signal as I spotted a familiar duo winding their way through the streets. They hadn't seen us yet, but frankly? If anybody could miss a pair like Molly, the walking kaleidoscope, and Yasha, death metal incarnate, as they passed out fliers with smarmy charm and a solid dash of silent intimidation, I hadn't met them yet.

Rin followed my gaze in the brief second I gave myself away. "Circus?"

"Circus," I confirmed. As we changed our path from aimless wandering to an intercept course, I added, "And they think my name's 'Caretta' right now. In case it comes up."

"I'm sure it won't," Rin said. When I looked, she had her hands clasped demurely and amusement sparked faintly through her. "I'm sure they'll be looking to you first."

Bleh. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Come on, let's introduce the idea of me having friends. And Isobu talking."

Ugh.

Rin fell entirely silent as we sized up the Nestled Nook Inn, which was two stories tall and probably only large enough to have half a dozen rooms. Not impressive, but my standards were fucked and the circus probably had an established circuit even in these small towns.

Molly and Yasha wouldn't stay long, because the shock of a walking rainbow headbutting his way into an unrelated conversation only worked so many times with witnesses. Which was why Yasha was there. Molly might've been taller than either Rin or Kei were, but Yasha could pick up two grown men and bash them together until they stopped causing trouble. Being a bouncer must've been interesting. No one would cause trouble this early in the morning, right?

With that middle finger firmly directed toward whatever patron of luck I'd already pissed off by existing, I headed inside anyway.

Rin followed, though she stayed back to keep any eye on the entire room from a spot beside the door. She was enthusiastic and bright when everyone around could understand her comments, but she wasn't nearly as imposing as anybody in this roughneck place. She was happier keeping in the background unless she had to watch over genin. Or the civilians that genin inevitably ran roughshod over while trying to help.

Funny how Yasha was doing the same thing, just on the opposite side of the doorway. I didn't make it past either of them.

"—It's just five copper. A steal. At five silver, it would be a steal, at five gold?" Molly rattled off, his spiel landing two table's worth of fish. I picked out two humans, a blue tiefling—who looked a lot more like Molly than she did like me—a half-orc and a tiny figure who might've been a halfling. There was a tiny part of my brain that said "adventurers!" before it went quiet under Isobu's laughter. "Worth every penny. But if you've got the five copper to spend, we would happily have you all."

The blue tiefling was starry-eyed already. "Do you perform?"

Molly hardly missed a beat. He did look like a sword-juggler or something, after all. I sure didn't. "Ah. I'm less of a performer and more of an intermediary for these parts. I do on occasion perform. I can read fortunes—"

"I was going to ask if you read fortunes! Can you do one now?" the blue tiefling asked, almost bouncing in her seat.

Molly grinned. Hook, line, sinker. "I knew you were going to ask that."

"Oh my gosh, you're so smart. Look at this guy, he knows everything!" And with that, she made a space for him at her group's table without a second's pause.

"Yasha," I said in an undertone, because there was no way I was throwing Molly off a roll like that.

Yasha did fix both odd-colored eyes on me, just for a bit, and Rin stood tall as she realized I'd called someone out by name. Especially a name she'd easily be able to pronounce. Yasha's gaze flicked to Rin, widened a bit, but there was a nervous edge there. She wouldn't want to talk about it.

"Is everything going well?" I asked.

"I think so," Yasha said, already turning her attention back to Molly's audience with an air of trying really hard to avoid a conversation. I didn't know what that was about. "Um, excuse me."

"Yasha's quiet," I told Rin once she was embroiled in that little scene. "You'll like her."

"Have we seen what we need to?" Rin asked, though she couldn't quite hide the tiny spark of curiosity. It wasn't as though this town was swimming in doctors or biological standouts other than the obvious. Her interests were pretty well self-contained.

"Yeah, mainly. I could try to catch them on the way out, but it seems like they're busy." A thought occurred to me. "You know, we kind of match?"

"Hm?"

"Brightly colored tiefling and someone with slightly less obvious nonhuman features. It's kind of neat."

Rin smiled, her long braid waving behind her as she swayed from side to side. "To Isobu?"

"Sure."

In a town where the only famous export seemed to be three kinds of beer, ale, or whatever it was this week, people drinking in the streets probably wouldn't have put most people off. But since Rin disliked the smell and taste of alcohol, we cut past the crowds wherever possible. In no time at all, we were in the circus staging area well ahead of the impending night crowd.

I managed to make introductions to the group without stumbling too badly over myself, or maybe Ornna was just taking pity on me for once. The line was pretty thin with her, and despite the language barrier Rin busted out the mission diplomat skill-set like it'd never gathered dust in the first place. It mostly consisted of bowing with perfect poise and prompting me with observations to translate when I couldn't think of anything worth saying, but overall I think we made a decent impression. Rin even got to keep her real name, because Rin didn't give a shit about nicknames.

Which she would get, and in spades, once the rest of the group got back. Probably.

Rin went to retrieve Isobu—who was apparently stalking Kylre to a degree that was genuinely worrying poor Toya—Gustav pulled me aside for a second.

"How can I help?" I asked automatically.

"I hate to ask," Gustav said as I wrung my hands, "but do you mind just sticking around for the show tonight?"

"I—huh? I mean…" I blinked. It wasn't like I was that familiar with this town. And even if I was, comfort zones were a thing. I was, by however narrow a margin, much more inclined to follow the circus around than I was to rent a room in Trostenwald with the money I didn't have. "I mean, I don't…"

I'd just introduced Rin to them., so I kind of wanted the afternoon off. And the evening. An afternoon of catching up was not making up for the week I'd avoided thinking about my situation for fear of triggering my homesickness like a rising tide. And Rin needed help getting around, too. I wanted to sit her down with a local encyclopedia so we could pool our ignorance and start figuring out how to get out of here.

"Not as an attendee," Gustav clarified quickly, and suddenly his hesitance made more sense. Slightly. "Could you help out around the grounds for a few hours? I know we haven't paid you, but it seems like Molly and Yasha are going to be drawing quite a crowd. We could use just a little help."

Because I was a pushover, I said, "Just let me know where you need me."

"And your…" Gustav paused, grasping at a word before settling in, "Partner? Well, she can hang around. And you can both attend the show for free if you like. I know Ornna will complain, but you've earned a ticket for anyone you can name. Just one, though, or Ornna actually will have me by the ears this time."

I couldn't decide if Isobu was going to be offended more over not being invited or not counting as a person.

Both.

You'll be a closed-captioning device. It gives you an excuse to talk the entire time!

I thought you said people who talked in the theater went to hell.

Like that's a deterrent for you.

True.

"I'll be there, Gustav," I said, and that was about the point when Rin and Isobu came back. I did my best to surreptitiously point them out to Gustav. "But I'll be in the city instead of attending if I can have the evening off. I hope you understand."

Gustav's eyebrows rose. "Oh, I think I do."

Isobu had wrapped both of his outside tails around Rin's waist, with his hands gripping the shoulder pads of what only looked like a plain, long coat. His little spiked head poked out from behind Rin's thick braid of faintly iridescent hair, and his eye glared balefully at me for having asked him to submit to such an indignity. As though he didn't like riding on people's shoulders and ordering them around.

Pff.

"Oh, hey Gustav?" I said, before the ringmaster could amble away.

"Hm?"

"Watch this." I cleared my throat and, with a wicked little smile hidden deep down, I said, "Isobu, speak."

Isobu glared at me harder. "I am not some pet performing tricks! I demand compensation for this flagrant abuse of my talents." Silently, while Gustav looked between the demonic turtle and Rin—who was looking as innocent as a possible ventriloquist could—Isobu added, Did I do that right?

Perfectly.

Even with her charming smile I had to admit Rin was a likely culprit, and Gustav zeroed in on her immediately. "Nice trick."

Rin shrugged, but she maintained her persona. "I can't tell him what to do."

"Damn right."

Isobu and Rin ended up spending most of the afternoon trailing me around. While they did get to have lunch with me and the circus crew—though Isobu didn't eat—most of their day consisted of practicing their little sideshow act. I worked to help set up the evening's show, as biddable as any roadie, though sometimes Ornna would pop by and tell me to tie knots differently or else something would tip over. Sometimes I'd overhear Isobu and Rin's bursts of Japanese as the pair avoided being understood, with Isobu acting sort of as a guide where I couldn't.

"That is Kylre, who smells as much like sulfur as fish. Kei told me he is a lizardfolk, and he is very close with Toya." Isobu said while they walked past the "dressing room," which Kylre was about a half a meter too large on each side to fit into. Luckily, his Devil Toad act didn't really require anything.

Rin didn't hold her as they passed, but it was clearly a close thing. "You can smell that too?"

"No, but Kei did." Isobu swung so his weight was mostly on Rin's right shoulder, allowing him to peer over the left better. "Toya is their singer, and she sings almost as well as me."

"I find that hard to believe," Rin told him, clearly humoring my anti-conscience.

"Caretta, I need you over by the stage to help Bo!" Gustav called.

"Got it!" I responded, and left them to their work.

("Not to make a judgement, but doesn't Kylre feel…strange somehow? He reminds me of you, but only now that I can see him properly."

"I noticed that, too. No one else seems to want to make a fuss. Or they are oblivious."

"I see.")

Eventually, the sun started setting. On my chore route, I'd passed Molly's fortune-telling station and waved to him, though he'd been busy with a pretty clueless customer and I'd been carrying ten kilos of rope and another coil of safety lines. He winked back, and I was already on my way to the tent to help sort out whatever needed sorting. I wouldn't get to see the show, but there'd be other nights. I liked Gustav's crew well enough, but I'd been to the Ringling Brothers show once. I had some idea what everyone was in for.

Only there wouldn't be any motorcycles.

"See you later," I said, once I had passed my last coil of rope off to Bo. The half-orc waved me off, wishing me a peaceful evening, and I joined Rin and Isobu before we all disappeared into the night.

See, my only real plan was to find a used bookstore and introduce Rin to local literature, solely because she had to be dying of boredom in a country where she couldn't speak the primary language. Maybe we could have sparred a bit to make sure neither of us had lost our edge despite the changes my body had gone through. Hell, we could have watched moonrise just to enjoy having someone else around who understood our situation.

I heard, the next morning, that the carnival's show that night turned into a horror movie.

So did mine.