AN: Short chapter this time. Sorry!
Walking outside and almost tripping over Isobu ended up leading me into a brief confrontation between Kakashi, Isobu, and the two missing members of the investigation team. While Caleb and Nott were less-than-happy about the presence of what was clearly a dire wolf right outside the inn, Kakashi still wasn't biting anybody.
For the next couple of minutes, I had to explain to the cops camping outside the inn that no, the "dog" was most definitely not a dire wolf—which the wizard didn't buy for a hot second—and he was absolutely safe to be around. Most of the time. Unless I ordered him not to be. After that, saying Isobu was actually just a weird familiar went down like particularly nasty cough syrup, but I'd not technically broken the law by having him around and tried to smooth things over by letting the Crownsguard hold him. His pissed-off bowling ball impression only meant so much when I was constantly telling him not to attack people every time the urge rose in the back of my mind, and it was an especially close call when the guard flipped him over for a second.
But they gave Isobu back, so I set him on Kakashi's ruff and let him gripe about being manhandled.
"Kei and the big cute puppy," Jester said from inside the inn when it was all over, just sticking her nose out to make her point, "you can come in! Yorda just says please buy lots of drinks and don't break anything."
Welp. I'd scrape something up, somehow. Probably from other people's pockets.
That was humiliating. Next time, let me eat them, Isobu told me silently, as the lot of us finally trooped into the inn.
They'd give you indigestion, stomach or not.
Bah.
"Come here, come here and sit with us again!" Jester insisted, and I gave into the inevitable.
Rin was waiting for us, perched on a chair and sipping carefully at one of Molly's discarded drinks and making a face at the taste. It was apparently the social thing to do, which meant peer pressure was going to try and order us to do things not in our best interests. Like get drunk.
"This is Kakashi," I said as I sat down in my previously-abandoned seat. Next to me, Kakashi sat down and rested his head in my lap somehow, while Isobu crawled onto Rin's to see over the edge of the table. I rubbed behind his ears and said, "He's not human right now, but he is normally."
Eyebrows shot up all along the table.
"Just go with it," Molly suggested, because of circus solidarity. He'd probably heard weirder shit somewhere.
"I have so many questions," Jester said, her blue eyes gleaming in excitement. "Starting with if I can put ribbons in his fur!"
Kakashi sneezed, one ear coming up and pointing squarely at Jester. His eyes were on me, though.
"Please, please, please," Jester said, rapid-fire, as her tail lashed behind her. "After I handled things for you in here?"
I raised one gray-green eyebrow. "You'll have to ask him."
And Kakashi's answer was a shake of his huge head, and Jester groaned theatrically. Jester pouted after that, at least until the investigation team finally all had chances to report in.
I was left, later, with the impression that Jester hadn't bothered to tell the innkeeper exactly how big Kakashi was. Nobody fainted, but the innkeep and the waitress got nowhere near the table for our group while Kakashi finally gave up on my lap and moved fully onto the somewhat sticky floor, like a very large and very alive rug. The wizard and his companion, who turned out to be a badly disguised goblin girl, stayed as far away from Kakashi as physically possible while still occupying the same table. That included the cat.
Though that was more because Kakashi sneezed when Frumpkin got too close.
Eventually, the rest of the group managed to hammer out an agreement to go out later that night. They got a Crownsguard visit or whatever, but I wasn't really paying attention to that once I got my own corner of the main room.
My team burned time another way.
"She sells seashells by the seashore," I read aloud, enunciating the syllables carefully.
With his Sharingan spinning slowly as I spoke, Kakashi turned his huge head toward Rin as soon as I finished and the pair of them stared hard at each other. Rin's expression went blank for a second or two, and then sharpened again.
The Sharingan was to shinobi learning as a multitool was to urban survival situations. A multitool could hide a knife, be used to pry things open, and some versions even had compasses imbedded in the handle somewhere. These were all useful. The Sharingan, chakra costs aside, had more uses than any sensory organ had any right to. Setting aside Amaterasu, Susanoo, and Tsukuyomi—because using them was an excellent way to go prematurely blind—the Sharingan provided combat clairvoyance, could copy any technique that used hand seals, and acted as a kind of hypodermic needle for precision genjutsu if someone could be tricked into looking into an Uchiha's eyes. Not for nothing did the Sharingan stand beside the Byakugan and Rinnegan as the three greatest eye-based bloodline techniques.
Here we were, using it to give Kakashi and Rin as much experience with wordplay as possible. I tried to use the correct tool for any job I tackled. Some tasks required a corkscrew, others a mallet. It just so happened that, today, the only tool available was a sledgehammer.
Really, after Obito blatantly used his half of this eyeball arrangement to copy dancing prowess and cool flips off people, this kind of skill acquisition was practically inevitable. It was faster than just trying to learn the old-fashioned way and more readily available than magic, assuming we could even use the latter. It was a bit of a pain in the ass because Kakashi couldn't make any of the sounds himself, but it was working.
Rin recited back, with pronunciation not far from my own, "She sells seashells by the seashore." She paused, then added when I nodded, "It's strange. I hear what sounds our language has, but now I can hear new sounds and…both of them make sense. I'm so confused and yet, all I want is to figure out what's behind it!" To Isobu, she said, "What does that tongue-twister mean that I don't know about? Please, Isobu-chan, I know you know!"
Isobu told her, adding tidbits about dinosaur fossils and foreign countries that actually invested in earth science. If nothing else, this crash course in foreign languages gave Kakashi, Rin, and Isobu more chances to bond. Isobu's lockout from the material world made it harder to make friends he wasn't already related to.
I wiped the slate clean of chalk with my sleeve and started writing anew.
Rin mumbled, with her head resting in her hands, "Tonight's going to be interesting. Gosh, my head's already full of fuzz. There's so much to learn and not enough time to do it in."
"You are picking this up quickly," Isobu assured Rin. " I have had more than a decade to learn, so do not compare yourself to me. That I have a direct line to Kei's brain for questions when you do not is also an unfair advantage."
Kakashi huffed, but he didn't protest otherwise. Instead, he met Isobu's eye with his Sharingan and clearly asked a question.
Eye curving to indicate a smile, Isobu told him more about the weird shit we'd seen and done so far. Now, if only he could copy from Isobu. The fact that my turtle friend didn't have a human mouth got in the way time and time again.
Sure, Kakashi didn't either, but he also couldn't make the right sounds. Maybe we could teach him to whine in a musical code for when staring contests weren't viable.
The language lessons went along for a while, with my friends steadily picking up letters and the tempo of English as it rattled around in their brains. Kakashi couldn't even produce the correct sounds, and asking for clarification wouldn't work without an appropriately-shaped throat and mouth. While he already hated feeling a skill was inadequate, this was a new frontier of terrible. Sure, he'd practice with Rin and Isobu until they were all on the same footing (or as near it as possible), but if there was any chance they'd be mocked? At this point, it seemed like having an audience like the carnival death investigation team would mean forty-two teeth got put to use.
Ah, well. It wasn't strictly necessary to communicate with other people around here, at least not when we were going this fast.
"You should go." Even after giving up on the slate and letting Isobu take over the lessons, hearing Rin's voice startled me back to awareness. When I looked up, she had Isobu on her lap and Kakashi's Sharingan eye was closed as he set his head near her feet, so it must have meant they were done with that for the night.
Still, what? " Go where? "
"If you barricade us someplace with seals," she explained, as though she hadn't probably been assessing the premises since before I even thought of holing up here, " I can help Kakashi keep out of trouble and you can be freed up to help these people with their detective work. Right now, we hardly know them, so… "
My fingers tightened on the chalk until it snapped. While we all pretended I hadn't just had a lapse of control, I mumbled, " I don't want to leave you alone in this town. Any of you. " The investigation could go on without me. They had a wizard.
"You do not have to. I can stay and ward people off as well as you can." Isobu curled his arms tightly to his belly and angled his head as far as he could. He even went so far as to tap the end of Kakashi's dark nose to make his point. "You chewed on my shell for almost the entire length of your transformation. If you think you are capable of hurting me, you are wrong. And Rin is stronger than you are, even at your best."
Kakashi cocked his head to one side. One ear flicked and he made an inquisitive noise.
Rin reached down to stroke his head. "If you want to be kept out of trouble, we can do that." There was careful emphasis on the word "want" that there hadn't been before.
Kakashi rumbled, the ruby-red gleam of his Sharingan visible for a split second and aimed at Isobu.
"He does not. Even if he forgets himself, he cannot stand the idea of leaving you to fend for yourself against whatever is causing the panic in the town."
Ended that line of thought, then.
"I'll tell the other crew we'll be putting on a parallel investigation, then." If Kakashi forgot himself, the rookies could end up dead if they twitched funny. It was best to keep a wide berth in case something went wrong, so we could stuff Isobu in Kakashi's mouth before things got hairy. Well, hairier.
In the end, we managed to agree to spending the early evening dozing in front of the Nestled Nook's hearth, since no one else was going out to scout the town until later anyway. And only once I'd catnapped my way out of exhaustion and firmly tried not to think of what evening would bring, did we all discuss contingencies.
No, making sure the investigation team could get back safely.
"I can handle a rope." Isobu had almost been offended that the group realized, generally, pet-sized creatures couldn't. The tabby cat couldn't. That they were the same size and supposedly of similar strength didn't register with Isobu. "Just do whatever you have to. I can also distract the guards if necessary. Just let me know when."
"You'll be the first to know, besides me."
As an aside, I kept calling the group composed of Molly, Fjord, Jester, Beau, Caleb, and Nott "the investigation team" for two reasons: One, "the Scooby Gang" would probably have implied a dog's presence instead of Frumpkin's, and two, they were essentially investigating supernatural murders. Not land grabs. Also, they were probably all screwed if nobody could find the necromancer before the Lawmaster decided enough was enough. Most of the classic Scooby Doo mysteries didn't feature quite the same stakes.
Often.
…Look, I was pretty sure that while the lumber industry existed, there were no giant mechanized chainsaws to threaten anyone as a direct result of some teenagers screwing with a pyramid scheme.
We were just going to check out opposite ends of town and make sure there were no wild necromancers roaming around. With any luck, everyone would meet back up in the inn in a few hours with evidence or ideas, and then we'd all be on the trail of the real murderer. Easy as pie.
That was, of course, not what happened.
The sun set outside, eventually. The investigation team planned to abandon the inn later, which was probably a good time when most of the Crownsguard were human and couldn't see in the dark. I wasn't really paying attention to them.
Rin and I kept a close eye on Kakashi, and Isobu stayed squarely on his back for the hours we spent waiting. None of us missed the moment when his left eye's pupil dilated. Then his ears flicked forward, and he jerked his head around with a doglike whine of confusion. His chakra jolted and started thrumming in agitation as he looked around at the interior of the inn, his eyes wide in animalistic panic.
Shit. I caught his ruff before he could lurch back and stumble over a table, because his immense weight would have broken it and his dull claws were already leaving marks in the wooden floor. Sticking my feet to the floor with chakra, I wrestled him down under my weight and my slightly enhanced strength, keeping his head under my chest as I curled around him.
"I've got you. It's all right." I let Kakashi shove his muzzle under the edge of my jacket.
The cloth helped cover other eye as well as his Sharingan. It could curb stress reactions a bit, from what I remembered of Inuzuka clinic shop talk.
He pushed against my grip with a whine in his throat, but I couldn't afford to let him loose. I ran my hands through his fur with chakra channeled through my fingers. Water and Lightning were only so compatible, but static leapt up from his fur and numbed my hands.
I felt Rin's hand on my shoulder. "I'll tell the others if you want to stay here."
"Hang on," I replied, even with the distraction clear in my voice. Kakashi's head was too big to fit in my lap, but I did my best to pin the left side of his head to my ribs so he could hear my heartbeat. My tail curled around both of us, with the fanned-out spikes resting against his ruff. "Gimme a second and I'll take care of it."
"Okay."
Around us, some of the remaining patrons had scattered as though expecting Kakashi to upend tables and destroy the common room in his sudden burst of wild energy.
"Hey, get your animal under control or get him out of the room!" yelled someone.
"If you want to try, be my guest!" Rin countered, making the entire ground floor tremble with a pointed tap of her foot. Once the man backed down, she went on, "But since you're not helping, be quiet! She's got this."
When lashing out at random, Kakashi might've been able to kill everyone besides Rin and me. But while in a panic and unable to blast either of us with lightning, he didn't have a chance in hell of getting past either of us long enough to try.
I gripped his fur with clawed fingers, tightening my hold as a shudder ran through Kakashi's body. "Shhh, I'm right here. I've got you, I've got you. It'll be over soon."
Kakashi's growl reverberated around the room. I held on tighter.
After about a minute, Kakashi's breathing evened out again and he nosed his way out of the folds of my jacket. His snout was about as wide around as a bear's, but he didn't use his huge teeth or claws to escape my grip. Instead, his mismatched eyes met mine as he gently pulled his head free. His ears pivoted.
"Feeling any better?" I asked him, not hesitating to meet his stare.
He tilted his head to one side in confusion, ears angling forward at the sound of my voice. His Sharingan remained still as his tail thumped the tavern floor once, then twice. There was no comprehension in that gaze.
"Oh, no," Rin murmured, sinking to Kakashi's eye level next to me. "Kakashi, nod your head if you're all right."
He made a doglike noise of confusion, then nosed partly out of my grip and licked Rin's cheek. He got her covered in drool from jaw to hairline in one happy swipe.
"Thank you," Rin mumbled, after wiping her face with her sleeve. While Kakashi's tail thumped happily at the sound of praise, she said, "I don't think this is going to work, Kei."
"What was your first clue?" Any spite in my words was drowned in exhaustion, and Rin knew it. When he hand rested on my shoulder, I reached up to squeeze it. "Sorry. I shouldn't have snapped."
"It's fine." Rin, previously balanced on her toes, stood up and strode toward the bar to speak about damages. Or apologizing for scaring people. I didn't have a lot of spare brainpower to spend thinking about it.
Take a deep breath. We are still here.
I don't know what I'd do without you. I reached down and scratched the little joint between his neck and shell, just as he rolled up to me.
I am sure you do not. His pointy shin dug into my leg as he leaned in, making a happy alligator noise. It was a little like an angry alligator noise, but lower. You could cry, if it suited you. Today has been very stressful.
Today is bleeding into tomorrow, and I'll gladly save the breakdown for later. Kei sighed into Kakashi's fur. We have too much left to do.
"I think we're going to have to change our plans," Rin said as she came back, innkeeper trailing behind. The woman wrung her hands like it was a national pastime. While Rin knelt next to the now-docile Kakashi, patting him, she said, "We can't leave him alone."
"Yeah." I nudged Kakashi hard with the heel of my hand. I wriggled out from under him and finally faced the poor innkeeper fully. Yorda didn't deserve this kind of drama. "Sorry about all of this, Miss Yorda. He didn't mean to cause trouble."
Kakashi shook himself from snout to tail, apparently thinking this was the best way to support my point. His tail narrowly avoided sending a patron's entire table flying.
"I…I just—" Yorda briefly hid her face in her hands. Then she burst out, "Get out. Get out and don't come back."
And there went our ability to sleep with a roof over our damn heads. Neither Rin nor I argued with Yorda, because there wasn't any point. She sprinted upstairs to let the investigation team know we were being kicked out, while I picked up Isobu and led Kakashi outside by his false lead. Wouldn't be our first time sleeping in the rough. This week, even.
Kakashi trotted ahead of me, doing a quick circle in place at the end of his rope. I caught up and started messing with his improvised scarf. His sharper guard hairs were already starting to embed themselves in the fabric, while Isobu wasn't helping as he climbed up Kakashi's leg.
He feels tired.
We're all wrecks. I rubbed my eyes with my wrist. The night air was cool enough to stop whatever burning sensation had been building. Do you have any idea what that was?
I can ask. With that, Isobu wriggled across the sea of fur before finally managing to make eye contact when Kakashi twisted his head around. Then, The wolf mind is solidly in place. No comprehensible answer.
I frowned, while Kakashi pushed his nose into my hand. To Isobu, I asked, Do you know how long this might go on?
Isobu shook his shelled head.
Shit.
Indeed.
Kakashi nudged me with his nose.
I pressed my cheek to his forehead for a couple of seconds. Yeah. Had to keep my chin up and keep going. He knew that better than I did. Even if Kakashi didn't have his usual personality right now, I needed the reminder. He provided one, as always.
There was a creak from behind us, and Rin stepped up. I didn't have to look to feel her disappointment. Her chakra broadcasted that loud and clear. "Well, I'm done with that." She scooted closer, then said in an awkward whisper, "The others are sneaking out right now. Do you want to go with them?"
How likely was it, really, that everyone would end up getting in trouble?
Do you really want anyone to answer that question?
They're adults. I pressed my fingertips to the bridge of my nose. They are adults, they've survived this long, and I'm dealing with enough already. Can I afford to add more to the pile?
Can you? Isobu's mental voice was a challenge, more than anything. He always pushed when he felt like I could take it. Or when he thought I needed a kick in the ass and wouldn't supply one on my lonesome.
"No." The word slipped out of me like a curse. "We're going to let them handle the first step in the investigation. We'll check in tomorrow."
Rin didn't scold me, which was better than I deserved.
Isobu's spiky tails all curled in Kakashi's fur. "Kei, are you sure?"
"I'm not in charge of a mission here." Kakashi was, back when this had been an artefact retrieval mission and not whatever the fuck it was now. "If you disagree with me, you can go."
"We'll stick together," Rin replied, "and with any luck so will they. Just one night." Her eyes glowed faintly in the dark, and I could see her determined expression better than I might've before my transformation.
"Just one night." And that would have to work.
AN: Kakashi failed an Intelligence saving throw there. Whoops. (Everyone crap at some point.)