AN: Obito has gathered enough data to know he does not like dungeon crawls.

"Misty Step: Briefly surrounded by silvery mist, you teleport up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space that you can see." Incidentally, Obito has this spell for free and is probably never going to realize he can use it.

Somewhere between eight and ten hours later (because Obito didn't have a clock), they were casing the Sour Nest like particularly murderous burglars. Or maybe like a strike team, but Obito wasn't entirely sure of everyone's capabilities and no one seemed eager to go directly through the gate and start burning everything.

Fair, because prisoners were a concern, but it also meant they spent a while standing in the frosty forest with their feet going numb in the dead of night. And in the middle of a forest where spiky bears lived.

The Sour Nest was about the same size as some bandit fortresses Obito remembered breaching as a teenager, with at least two floors and a three-meter wall that was patrolled by guards. They'd cleared out the forest for about five meters around the fortress in order to get better sight lines for their heavy crossbows. Barring the shouting the guards did over shooting Frumpkin (Caleb's summoned owl), there wasn't a lot of activity other than the slow, continuous route two men took around the walls.

Observing long enough to watch the guard shifts change was responsible, but Obito was bored as hell. Not taking the point position in this kind of mission felt like he was wasting his energy, if not his chakra.

"We need to get them at the same time," said Beau, pulling a pair of round goggles over her eyes. Not sure what those were for. "Nila, you with us?"

"I am with you," Nila agreed. She hadn't taken her eyes off the torches the guards used for the last few minutes, not that Obito could blame her. Her family was in there.

"Wait until I have him paralyzed," was Caleb's suggestion. Obito didn't know how he planned to do that, exactly, but it probably came back to "magic."

Magic wasn't getting any less weird the more Obito learned about it, even by accident. The owl wasn't even an owl anymore; Caleb stuck the creature in the middle of a sealing array that didn't make sense and turned him into a spider right after the successful flyover scouting mission, then handed him to Beau or something.

Obito needed to ask about that later, because no summon contract he'd ever seen allowed people to swap out animals at will. At least, not different kinds of animals.

Regardless, that group waited until the guards were mostly out of the way, then Nila muttered some kind of mantra under her breath. Beau knocked her shoulder against Nila's elbow before they walked into the snow, trailed by Caleb, and their footsteps were almost entirely silent. Maybe that was what the spell did.

Molly and Nott had already headed in the other direction for the simultaneous takedown, depending less on magic and more on Nott's tiny crossbow. Molly shrugged outright during the planning and admitted that he was just there to confirm the kill if necessary. Given the guard they were shooting was going to also experience falling off a three-meter wall, probably headfirst, no one seemed too worried.

Sitting just at the treeline, Obito leaned into the shadow of a tree with Keg, who wasn't allowed to run around with the rattle her armor made. Caduceus peered over both of their heads, waiting for the first sign of a fight. Helping or harming would follow pretty soon after.

Obito hadn't especially thought about it before, but apparently being an elf instead of a human meant his night vision was better than that of humans or firbolgs. He hadn't exactly been planning an infiltration mission before the Mighty Nein showed up. And even if he had, well, there'd be a lot fewer clanking participants. Kamui made it easier for him to work alone than not. And even if it was dark, he could walk through inconvenient furniture without a problem.

"So, is there a particular reason we shouldn't just throw you into the fray at the first opportunity?" Keg crouched next to Obito's wooden elbow, both weapons limp at her sides with the business ends lying in the frosty underbrush. She chewed on the stub of another cigar, probably from nerves. "Or have you walk us in?"

"I think that if that was the plan, we probably would've said something about it before we split up," Obito told her, turning his head a little to hear better. Hear what? Everything, but one ear had to stay pointed toward Keg.

"I've been with this group for two days," Keg said, as she tucked the dog-end of her cigar behind her ear, "and I already know their plans suck."

One of the guards fell off the wall and landed with an audible crunch. And if he hadn't, well, Nila and Beau choosing to punch and beat him (with a staff) on impact probably didn't help.

Across the way, Obito thought he heard a choking noise, but there was no follow-up. Probably meant Nott and Molly got their target, too.

"I dunno, it seems to be going pretty well." And without any hesitation, Caduceus stepped out from the treeline and headed for the trio who'd made the hired thug go crunch, mild as anything. While he wore a breastplate and shield, the iridescent beetle green armor made no significant noise.

There was still some corpse-looting going on when Obito and Keg arrived, which was only slightly more violent than most of Obito's interactions with the locals in Shadycreek Run. For the last month. At this point, he didn't really have a lot of room to judge.

"So, that's the guards on the walls," Beau said as she pocketed the dead man's purse. Then she stripped the man's hooded cloak and slung it around her own shoulders, muting her blue outfit's colors and obscuring her build.

Caleb's spider poofed back to his shoulder in a burst of purplish smoke. "Then we will begin the infiltration."

"Hey, you need one of these for a disguise?" Beau asked, waving the cloak at both Nila and Caduceus.

They were both well over two meters tall, so…? There were some steps missing in this plan if Beau meant for them to wear clothes belonging to much shorter people. Who they'd just killed.

Meh. Fuck those guys.

"It might be better for one of the others to use it," Caduceus said. To Obito's surprise, he just waved his staff and replaced his own appearance with one of the guards', as neat as a genjutsu. He was even half a meter shorter. "I think this'll work."

Obito activated his Sharingan with a faint frown and found that he could see Caduceus again as though the illusion didn't exist. Though the others still reacted with approval like they were seeing the guard's appearance instead, so maybe it wasn't the same as Lorenzo's thing. Or Nila's bird thing. Or maybe it was and Obito just didn't know enough about magic to argue.

Weird as hell.

"You can just do that?" Keg wanted to know.

"Not that I use it much, but yeah."

Obito let his Sharingan fade to conserve chakra, not that he was sure he'd be using all that much.

The remainder of the "infiltration" is a lot of waiting around for Caleb's seeing-eye spider—and that was something Obito had only ever seen with Itachi's crows—to report back everything he saw. Once that was accomplished, the spider would act as a guide for the person on point. While Obito could do the job himself, the poor spider would probably fall through him the second he used Kamui.

Caleb didn't even bother asking for additional ideas.

It was really awkward being crouched around the animal stockyard, where the horses all looked at them like they were the most interesting people on the planet. Obito sat on a barrel of what was probably rainwater and drummed his fingers against his knee, staring into the stone walls of the fortress with anticipation buzzing in his veins.

But this close to potential discovery, no one wanted to talk. If no one talked, well, Obito didn't have the hand sign-based common vocabulary to discuss it another way.

And then they sent Nott into the building first. She was small, and sneaky, and could pick any locks she found.

All was well…for about one minute.

Then there was the sound of clanging, a muffled shout of alarm, and the plan went up in smoke pretty much instantly.

That guy went, "Hey, what the hell—"

Obito activated Kamui, leapt through two walls, and found himself face to face with a Iron Shepherd hireling his team hadn't already killed. The man was in the middle of drawing his sword and had eyes on Nott.

From behind him, Nott yelped, "You didn't see me—"

Obito struck before anyone could finish their sentences. His wooden arm lined up with the thug, palm forward, and a three-meter spike of new growth caught the guy between the top of his chestplate and his lower jaw, obliterating most of the neck in one shot.

Nott was directly behind him, and she was short enough to see all the carnage perfectly.

Welp.

Obito gripped the branch, snapped it off with a twist of his left hand, kicked the thug off the other end of it like dead meat. Changed the grip until the split wood settled in his hand like a sword.

Beau turned the corner, charging in like she expected to be the one to get the first strike. She seemed a little surprised to find the man on the ground already, mostly-decapitated. Her eyes darted from the almost-dead guy and the blood running down Obito's wrist and fingers.

"Holy shit, dude," Beau said flatly. At this point, Obito heard the sound of rapidly popping firecrackers. Wasn't this supposed to be some kind of stealth mission?

"Didn't I tell you about this?" was all he could say. They'd only hung out pretty much all day, and half the night while waiting for guard shifts to move around.

"I'd fucking remember if you did! All right, new plan," Beau announced to the rest of the group. Keg and Molly were the first into the breach when Nott yelped, but Beau was fast enough to ricochet off walls and end up in the lead. "Do the Kei thing again and—"

Whatever the new plan was, a screaming woman barreled down the hall and killed the conversation before it could be shared. The same huge muscle lady from before, so Obito figured they didn't need her alive.

Nott did something that knocked the woman to the ground immediately, cackling helplessly, and then Keg and Beau both made a beeline for her. Keg vibrated in place like reality couldn't decide where to put her, and her hammer and axe slammed down at almost the same time as Molly's glowing sword swings.

It was quick. And very, very loud.

Hammers generally were, even when the screaming was over. Obito stabbed the body with his spear just to be sure, then left it there.

"Thank you," Molly spat, prying a huge sword out of the dead woman's hands. He hefted it up so the point dug into the floor, then peered at it critically. "Dunno if Yasha will be able to use it right away, but better in our hands than theirs. Where's the bag?"

"Here," said Caleb as he clambered over the two corpses in the hall. He paused briefly more at the sight of the guy who'd been mostly decapitated with a sapling, but held out the bright pink backpack anyway.

Molly commenced the magician's space-bending trick of sticking the entire sword into a container entirely too small for it. Didn't appear to come with a sheath, so why not?

Obito, prodding at the spear and watching it wiggle, said, "So, that's two—"

The third thug in the building—not counting the dead ones on the walls —came around the corner to investigate the noise.

Beau punched him four times in the face.

The thug was no longer investigating the noise. Especially not after Nott shot him in the eye with a crossbow bolt.

"Funf," said Caleb, which was not a word Obito understood. "Ah, five. Plus this woman, we have killed five. That is everyone we have seen on this floor."

"Cool," said Obito. "How many of these people are there again?"

"No idea about the hirelings, but we've officially killed Wohn and Dwelma." Keg had stopped vibrating on the spot—literally—and leaned heavily on her bloodstained battleaxe. The magic apparently gave her a hangover. "That leaves Ruzza, Protto, and Lorenzo."

"Have you seen my son?" Nila asked Nott, leaning over carefully and otherwise entirely ignoring the corpses.

"No, but there's a basement I didn't get to," said Nott, as she cocked her crossbow again. "So that's where we're going next."

Caduceus, meanwhile, had started turning all the dead people into mold and mushrooms. Obito decided against watching around the time the first layer of moss engulfed the bodies. While he'd seen Caduceus do the same for dead birds and other random carcasses that occasionally found their way into the Blooming Grove, using that magic on people-shaped targets was a little uncomfortable to think about.

Obito had a funeral director for a roomie, not an aspiration.

"Which door?" Obito asked Caleb, who'd been doing the mapping via an animal spy.

Caleb pointed, and both Nott and Obito went to it immediately.

The door swung inward once Nott picked the lock and shoved it with her shoulder, revealing a mostly-bare chamber with a fairly obvious trapdoor. If Obito had to guess, the lower level of the building was underground to make soundproofing easier. Or at least less expensive.

He hated this place so much.

"Wait, hang on." Nott flung out a clawed hand and hit Obito squarely in the knee. It didn't hurt, but it did stop him. "Let me."

Nott picked the lock, and disarmed the enchanted trap in only a few more seconds. Then Obito wedged his wooden fingertips in the gap between the stone and the trapdoor, heaving it upward with new growth that grew into a branch shaped like an arm. He slipped around Nott to grow a second wooden arm, opposite the first, as though the wood of the trapdoor itself was sick of the Iron Shepherds' shit.

And he left enough room for everyone to get down the stairs.

"Creepy," muttered Beau, even as she pulled on a dead man's hood to hide her features from easy view.

"I like it," said Caduceus, who still looked like the dead thug regardless.

"Who's going down there first?" asked Keg, quiet as she could. She leaned forward to get a better view amid the crowd.

"Me?" Obito suggested, because it was generally a good plan. He held out both hands and wiggled his mismatched fingers demonstratively. "The dude with the spooky powers."

"No, that'll draw too much attention," said Beau. As though she hadn't set off fireworks in the courtyard less than five minutes ago. "If Lorenzo comes up behind us, that's gonna be worse. Keep an eye out for him." She paused, then ran a wrapped hand down her face. "An 'eye,' oh my fucking god."

"I can't believe you said it first," Nott hissed.

"And I'm supposed to think I'm less stealthy than setting off fireworks?"

"I wanted to draw them outside!"

"Well, it didn't work!" Not that any of them had stayed outside to check.

Molly smacked his palm into his forehead, having sheathed the glowing sword for "stealth" purposes. "Are we doing this right now?"

Caduceus started down the steps, which canceled out most of the possible argument. After a glare, Beau followed.

And then it was time to prepare for the ambush. Nila wrapped her hands around her staff more tightly, looking grim at best, and a faint glow started up around it. Nott reloaded her crossbow, shivering slightly with nervous tension, and Keg was opposite her with both weapons ready to go. Obito had to activate his Sharingan again to see where Caleb stood, and he was sort of faded under some kind of spell and lurking at the edge of the room.

Obito considered, then had the two not-trees lower the trapdoor into place. From what voices drifted up from the basement, he'd be fine waiting a bit to rip the entire structure apart. And probably clobber someone with it afterward, as a reward for good behavior.

A tense handful of seconds later—and after one scream that made Nila look like she wanted to tear someone apart with her bare hands—Beau and Caduceus emerged from the basement and Beau made a series of very illustrative facial expressions.

Nila leapt on the third figure as he emerged. With his Sharingan on, Obito saw the green twist of magic that surrounded Nila like a cocoon, superimposing the image of a crocodile just in time for its jaws to snap shut on the thug's head.

"Ooh, ouch," said Nott, and that was when Nila's chomping mode went into a death roll that rolled them right back down the stairs.

"Welp," said Obito, as Nott, Caduceus, Molly, Keg, and Beau rushed past him.

Caleb was already in the room, having not bothered to stick around for the chomping.

It was just as well, because Nila hit a cage and a rack of freaky torturer's weapons loudly enough to make the fireworks seem sneaky. The thug shrieked like he'd been set on fire—which was possible, given the coals stoked in the corner for heating metal bits—just long enough that Nila readjusted her grip on his head with her flat crocodile tongue and rolled again.

This time, there was no more screaming. Hard to scream with a snapped neck.

Obito arrived last to find Nott fussing at the cage in the corner of the room, which still smelled faintly of burned meat and cloth. Never a good sign, but a worse one now. It got even worse once Caduceus dropped his hireling disguise and held out his staff, summoning a gentle light to the crystal on top.

In the cage, bloodied and burned and unconscious, were two firbolgs. One of them was an adult, with deep blue-gray skin, curly brown hair, and a serious black eye. The other had Nila's black hair and wasn't much bigger than Nott.

Nila exploded back out of the crocodile form and dashed to them, just as Nott unlocked the cage. She made a terrible keening noise as she swooped her son into the cradle of one arm and brought her other hand to her mate's face. A faint glow leached from her fingers to the cut on his face, closing it even as Obito watched.

"Let me help," said Caduceus, kneeling next to the battered family. Maybe he figured—correctly—that the badly-hurt firbolgs would prefer to see someone other than a bunch of strange faces right as they woke up.

"Please," Nila gasped, pouring yet more healing magic into her son. "Oh, Asar, Asar… I have you, don't worry."

Caduceus twisted his hands in a motion very familiar to Obito by now, if only because he'd been healed so many damn times by now. Pink lichen appeared on his hands and on Nila's husband's more obvious cuts and burns, and the guy gave a big sigh of relief as the pain left and energy came back. Wasn't quite clear when he woke up.

Made Obito miss Rin and Kei again, kind of a lot. Kakashi wouldn't be any good for healing with chakra, but he'd do his damn best to keep everyone alive anyway.

Nott couldn't take her eyes off the firbolg family, big yellow eyes shining and not blinking much, but business made Caleb and Beau brusque at best.

"What's the next room like?" Beau asked in Caleb's general direction, as the firbolgs both woke up. Guess she couldn't see him at all.

There was a thump as Nila and Kitor hugged hard enough to knock Caduceus over. Asar was in the middle, safe in both of his parents' arms at once.

"Another cage and another thug," Caleb answered quietly. "We are making progress."

Beau nodded sharply, then looked back at the firbolgs again. Out of the corner of her mouth, she continued, "What about them?"

"That is Nila's decision," was his reply.

Yeah, Obito had to agree. Nila was a mom. She had to decide if she was gonna finish what they all started or if she'd go now, taking her son and her mate to safety. Obito didn't like the look of the rest of the basement fight with a kid in the mix.

"Nila," Beau said, "do you need to go?"

"I—" Nila's expression was agonized by the choice, looking over her mate's shoulder. She bit her lip and nodded, two faint tear trails running down both cheeks. Kitor was no more clear-eyed, but they both needed to recover quickly for the sake of their son.

Obito was about to offer to lead them out—he could see Caleb, so logically he could see someone else doing the notice-me-not thing—but there was a thud and a cascade of dust from the ceiling.

Everyone froze.

A non-Frumpkin spider landed on Nott's hood without anyone really noticing.

Claws clicking on various surfaces was easy enough to recognize for Obito, who had been on enough missions with Kakashi's dogs for a lifetime (and honestly preferred cats). Obito tilted his head a little toward the trapdoor, which was still propped up by the wooden construct hands, in an attempt to hear something more specific. It wasn't like he'd been looking at Lorenzo's footwear during their brief confrontation, so it was possible that oni had really long claws.

Toenails.

Actually, that thought was worse.

Anyway, they could all see the shadow of someone passing in front of the trapdoor now. The chamber they'd just left had a wall sconce thing, but even if it hadn't, Obito's augmented night vision worked just fine.

"I can see you out there," Obito called toward the mystery person, halfway back up the steps and squarely between this new threat and everyone else in the basement. Despite his companions' hissed warnings—mostly from Beau, because Nott yelped instead—he continued, "I've had a really long day, so back the fuck off before I set you on fire."

The figure paused, flickered. Genjutsu? The swirl was unmistakable now that his view was clearer. It resolved into a pair of sandaled feet behind a shitty obscuring mist.

"Should we run?" Kitor asked in his quiet, careful rumble.

Obito knew basically no fear at this point. "Hang on—"

Then: "Obito, what the fuck?"

Holy fucking shit, they'd found him. A grin pulled at Obito's mouth. "What took you so long?!"

Before Obito could remember they were supposed to be kinda sneaky, a pair of gray hands slipped into the gap and heaved, jerking the trapdoor hard enough to half-splinter it in her grip. Wood splinters rained down on his head and he held up a hand to ward them off, but more important was the woman who grabbed that hand and dragged him up into a hug.

"You can teleport! How the hell am I the one getting accused of being late?" Kei demanded, pulling back from the hug and gripping him by both shoulders. Her eyes—identical in color to Isobu's, set in a gray face with strange little fangs—narrowed as she gripped his wooden shoulder. "And what the hell is up with your arm?"

Obito shrugged as well as he could. "Dunno. Hey, why so blue?"

And horns. They didn't curl like Molly's, or even Ophelia Mardoon's, but that was Kei's face and her messy black hair and her embarrassed scowl at being short a comeback. The exact color of her skin was irrelevant in the face of that, and at the excited twist of her chakra (and Isobu's in her coils).

Thus, Obito ignored all the changes and asked without stopping, "And where are Rin and Kakashi? Is he really a dog?"

"I'm a tiefling now, they're outside, and yes," Kei said, patience clearly not entirely recovered. Still holding his shoulder, she peered past him with her face all scrunched in suspicion. "Why are you in some creepy basement?"

"Oh, right!" Obito grinned as wide as he could, turned to the rest of the group, and called down the stairs, "Hey, Mighty Nein, what do you think about more backup? Because you have it, and it's my team!"

He didn't even have to look at Kei to feel her jolt in surprise.

"Is that Kei?" Beau wanted to know. Her pugnacious shithead attitude kinda reminded Obito of Kaito, at least once Kei showed up as a reminder. "How the fuck do you people keep showing up? Are we wearing magnets?"

"Of course it's Beau," Kei said, in a flat voice. She nudged past Obito into the basement, clearly took stock of the situation in her signature manner. Kei was used to commanding genin and chūnin, even on missions that didn't demand her full role—heavy combat and demolition—so the Mighty Nein got her at her most businesslike.

There'd be time for hugs and tears later. "So, long story short, this is a slaver's den and we're killing all their dudes and freeing all the captives. Some of them are really hurt, though."

Kei didn't even blink. "Got it." Her gaze swept over Nila and her family, and Obito saw a muscle in her changed jaw tighten. Even if her eyes went a little unfocused, it was only because she was probably talking to Isobu. Then she said, "There's a healer upstairs. Her name's Rin. She'll help you as soon as she sees you.

Obito nodded along until a thought occurred. "And Kakashi?"

"Can't fit down the tunnel anyway," Kei said, nodding toward the still-shut door that had previously held their attention. "He's on guard."

How big of a dog—nope, we're talking about this later.

Thank fuck that kind of command stuff wasn't Obito's job anymore. Like, it never should've been, but he didn't know if the Mighty Nein had a leader at all. Caduceus's doctor thing didn't really count. Obito's "leadership style" meant facilitating other people's goals, not actually giving orders. If he had to peg anybody in the Mighty Nein who might call the shots during a fight, maaaaybe Beau? Theoretically.

"If I take my family to them, they will be safe?" Nila asked anxiously. Her leaning forward dragged Kitor along with her, a little. "There were no killers behind us, only ahead."

Kei bowed. "I promise. Rin will look after anyone who needs it."

And anyone who tries to make it past her is going to go splat. Never mind what Kakashi could do when apparently dog-shaped. And Obito didn't miss the look of fury in Kei's eyes when she'd seen how badly Asar was hurt, even if she masked it quickly with professionalism.

"Then I will trust you," Nila said. She turned her head and her twitching ears toward the Mighty Nein, her son peeking curiously at them despite his injuries.

"See you soon, Nila," Nott croaked. She was short enough to hide in the back if she didn't want to be noticed, but her eyes were bright and her voice earnest. "Now take care of your boy."

Nila led her family up, away from this hell.

And everyone else trekked onward.

"Targets?" Kei asked, in their language. She probably didn't want to risk distracting the Mighty Nein from their mission mindset.

"Three left, maybe four," Obito rattled off, "with one heavy and probably a bunch of traps. This is their base, after all."

Kei snorted. "Like that matters."

"Big guy's an oni."

That gave her pause. She scrunched up her whole face, hilariously baffled despite the seriousness of the situation and the smell of blood and sweat from basically everything down here. "Really?"

"Yep. Horns and all." Obito reached over and flicked Kei's new headgear, grinning. "But yours are nicer, so don't get jealous."

Kei swatted his hand away, then retaliated by pinching one of his long ears until it bent. When she didn't immediately comment, Obito assumed she was distracted, but then Kei said, "Why an elf?"

"Not a clue," Obito replied brightly.

"Whenever you two are done," Keg said impatiently, "we've still got a lot to do down here."

Their team now consisted of eight people, primarily oriented toward the front. Kei offered to take the lead position, being by far the most durable person present. Unlike Keg, she didn't need armor and wasn't afraid of Lorenzo at all. Unlike Molly, she didn't bleed all over the place to light up magic swords. And unlike Beau, Kei healed most of her own wounds automatically thanks to her bond with Isobu. If anyone was going to be attacked first, better Kei than the rest of them.

And Obito avoided being attacked by shifting into a pocket dimension, so he was more…in Kei's line of sight than actually encroaching on her job. Sort of like Nott!

After that first rank (basically just Kei) and secondary line (Molly, Keg, Beau), Caleb and Caduceus were toward the back of the group. Seemed safer to have the healer and skinny guy away from melee. Nott did her best work from the flanks, so she was back there too, and Obito was kinda just circling like a really annoying moth.

An annoying moth that was impervious to cheap shots, which was a major factor in maintaining that status.

They arrived at the next room pretty quickly, at least. The "little shit" Keg identified as Protto only took a shot at them once, through a slit in the door, and it was that bolt bouncing off Keg's armor that prompted the remark. And several comments afterward.

"Fuck you too," Keg concluded, and swung her axe at the door. The entire frame shuddered unhappily, but held.

"Do you want me to—?" Nott began.

"If there was a trap, I'd be on fire already!"

"What are you waiting for?" Kei wanted to know.

"Oh, you know." Obito really did have better things to do than sit here and waffle, but—

"For fuck's sake."

When Kei whacked his shoulder, Obito grinned and walked directly through the door. He didn't even blink as Protto's second shot passed through his spinning Sharingan and the rest of his head with no effect.

"You should be running," Obito told him, and Ruzza standing in the corner with her flimsy sword drawn. "Not that there's anywhere for you to go. But, you know, make us work for it."

Ruzza hissed something in a language Obito didn't speak, at which point he hurled a wooden spear at her and severed one of her fingers in a blur of blood and splinters. She doubled over screaming rather than completing the magic, which was convenient for Obito's purposes.

And then the door behind him exploded inward, showering the room with broken boards.

Protto fucking ran through the door, Ruzza trailing him in an awkward stagger. Obito idly lobbed a second spear after them, punching through the weak wall in a near-miss.

"Shakäste?" Caleb's voice asked. "Nott, could you—"

"Now, now, I've got it," said a new voice. A man's voice, a gentle sort of rumble that Obito had never heard before.

Obito paused, arm leading the way to the next hall, and was promptly shot in his wooden wrist. He pulled his hand back and inspected the bolt. Much-delayed, he said, "Ow, fuck."

"That hardly hurt you," said Kei.

"It's the idea of it!"

Then a steel grate slammed down, stopping their path forward. Probably a trap.

The guy in the cage, it turned out, was a skinny old man who looked like he could have told the Fourth Raikage to respect his elders. Like, the outfit was totally wrong for a Kumo-nin, but also he was like eighty years old and nursing a hell of a black eye. How long had he been down here? And why was his outfit mostly made of belts?

Still, he got out of the cage on his own. Helped a bit by a tiny bird. "Ladies and gentlemen, it feels so good to be out with all of you beautiful people!"

Well, more hands made evacuating a little easier. Obito was a little iffy on getting more people involved in a rescue mission when they were already having trouble navigating hallways and the pocket-sized rooms down here.

"Cool," said Kei. She had one eyebrow up and a moderately confused look on her face. "And you are…?"

"Shakäste, darling. At your service and in the middle of a staycation of the worst kind."

Obito had to laugh at the look on Kei's face. She hadn't been called "darling" or anything like it since she was knee-high. Maybe some of the older grocer ladies still did it, but only because they always had. This guy was at least her grandparents' age.

"And this hyena is Obito."

Obito bowed. "Nice to meet you, really. We've got people to kill and people to save. You in?"

Speaking of, Nott had already undone the lock on the other cage in the room, letting an old dwarf and a small human child walk free for the first time in a while. They'd get along well with the firbolgs, probably.

"I think we can go ahead and do both," Shakäste replied. His milk-white eyes were clearly long blind, but he didn't appear to have any trouble tracking movement, at least not while the little hummingbird's head twisted in every direction.

Maybe it was like Caleb's owl. Owl-spider. Whatever the hell was up with that thing.

"If you're done flirting," Beau said.

"Never, darling," was the old man's rejoinder.

"We're on a timetable, guys. No one's gonna stick around after getting one of their fingers shot off," Beau reminded them, as she and Molly each pushed their way toward the next room.

"I mean, I might—"

"Shut up, Obito," said Beau and Kei at the same time.

"Nice to see a familiar face down here," said Molly, as though to smooth over that response, "but I hope you understand that we were hoping for slightly different ones."

"Oh, that's clear enough." Shakäste didn't move his head toward anyone as he spoke, but the bird looked around. "I saw your friends being taken downstairs. I'd like to make up for that lapse, if you don't mind."

Both Beau and Molly's faces took on a grimmer cast at that confirmation. Given how much the two of them sniped at each other during the evening's waiting stage (when Molly wasn't just napping), seeing them make the same face was kind of funny.

"Always room for one more," said Caleb, from the front of the group. His faded outline was still clearly visible to Obito's Sharingan.

"Welcome to the Mighty Nein," Nott said, as though it was the perfect conclusion.

Shakäste chuckled. "Is that what you're called now?"

"Yeah, do you like it?"

"I find I do. It's got a ring to it."

Caduceus gently thumped his staff on the ground, having come back from looking at whatever he was distracted by before. Statistically, it was unlikely to be important or a trap. "Then we're agreed?"

Beau answered for them. "Yep. Obito, do the ghost thing again."

"Oh, sure, now you want me to get shot at." Obito still saluted with his still-perforated right arm. Crossbow bolt and all. "Can do, Beau!"

With that, Obito stepped through the iron grate and located the lever for it after hardly having to glance around. Then he slammed it back into its place and was unsurprised to find the group crowding after him in approximately the same order as before. They stopped only long enough for Nott to dismantle some magic trap on a tile or whatever, but…

Well, Obito was already past that point, and Kei could afford to get blown up at least once. She was out of practice. So it was fine.

There was really a crowd down here, huh? With Shakäste, that was nine people all piled into this series of shoebox rooms. It wasn't getting any less clunky.

"Aaaand stop," Beau said sharply a minute later, grabbing Kei's coat with a bandage-wrapped hand and jerking Obito's best friend to a stop. "See that? That's a fucking trap."

The only thing Obito saw was a brazier with maybe one ember left.

Kei turned her head forward again, scowled, and made the Snake hand seal. As she held out her right hand, a blob of water engulfed the entire top half of the brazier, then wrenched it off its base with all the gravitas of someone tossing out the trash. Only she was still kinda just holding it in midair, kinda like it was in a Water Prison.

"…Okay, so that was dope, but I don't know if that'll work," Beau said.

Kei showed her fangs. The entire brazier crunched inward as the bubble compressed, then hissed like an angry kettle as whatever magic was on it sputtered and died.

"Asked and answered, I guess!" Beau threw up her hands in frustration. Then she turned and said to the rest of the group, "We're clear!"

And then it was time to rush into the actual basest of basements.

Welp.

Further AN:

1. Obito's soft stats would be approximately 11 INT, 7 WIS, and 20 CHA. Which explains a lot.
2. If there was one thing I really wished Nila got a chance to do in canon, it was for her to actually confront Lorenzo. In this case, I set her up for the consolation prize: turning into her most dangerous Wild Shape form and biting the resident torturer to death.
3. Team Minato has an established overland pace of "fast" even when Kei can't summon Tsuruya. Between her jinchūriki endurance and Kakashi's wolf form, they made really good time in the direction of Obito's last known location. Now, if only he'd stop teleporting around, they'd have actually been able to track him.
4. I legit forgot they found Shakäste in the basement. And I did look it up; they also did not ever say "welcome to the Mighty Nein" to him. And now they have.
5. Kei doesn't like dungeon crawls either.