I'll Be With You Always

CS genre: Deleted scene from 5x7

Note: Most of the dialog in the second section was taken directly from episode 5x7. The credit for the amazing dialog by the well in Camelot goes directly to Jane Espenson.

Killian pushed aside the billowy curtains of Granny's dining establishment and peered uneasily out at Swan sitting upon a fallen log. She worked quickly, almost feverishly at her dreamcatcher, as though the task was necessary to keep her from flying apart at the seams.

The all too familiar frustration and powerlessness overwhelmed him once again. She was getting worse. Despite all his best efforts, despite all their best efforts the darkness still had an effect on her and was still growing in power. He wanted to scream, wanted to bury his hook in something repeatedly until some of the anger drained out.

The darkness had taken the woman he loved once before, and he'd be damned before he let it do it again.

The only problem was that he had no idea how to prevent the disaster that appeared to be all but inevitable.

Killian watched as Merlin sat beside Emma and began speaking. He should be there with her, lending her support, taking her burden for her. If Merlin needed that damn spark of Prometheus, he should be the one to get it. It didn't matter what happened to him, as long as they could save Emma.

"She's strong," Snow said, coming up beside him to look out the window. "Don't ever forget that Killian. She can beat this thing."

He let out a long, frustrated breath. "I know she's strong. I know she can do anything she sets her mind to, but she shouldn't have to! It's too much! She's the bravest, most selfless person I've ever met. She deserves to be happy, to enjoy time with her family and friends, to rest upon her laurels. Why the devil must she always be so noble? Why was she the one who needed to sacrifice herself to the darkness?"

To his surprise, Snow put a comforting, motherly hand on his back. "I know you're hurting, Killian," she said, "we all are. Seeing my daughter so afraid, struggling with the worst darkness known to any realm…it's torture. But she wouldn't be Emma, wouldn't be the woman we love, if she'd let the darkness destroy us when she had the chance to stop it. It's terrible to watch her struggle, but we have to have faith. We have to believe she's going to beat this, that Emma, our Emma will come back to those of us who love her."

Those of us who love her. Gods but he did love her. He'd walk through hell for her. That's why asking him to stay back while she faced the worst danger she'd yet encountered was almost more than he could bear.

"I do love her, you know," he said, gazing out the window, watching as Merlin and Emma continued to talk, "so much I ache with it."

"I know," Snow said with a gentle smile, "David does too, no matter how much over-protective dad grief he might give you. We've seen how you look at her, how you treat her, what you're willing to do for her."

Killian nodded. He'd never broached the subject of his feelings with Swan's parents. To be honest, he'd never said the words aloud to the woman herself, at least not while she was awake. There had been times at night after she'd fallen asleep in his bed at the inn, within the circle of his arms, that he'd leaned over, kissed her forehead and whispered those three fateful words to her sleeping form. But while she was awake? He'd never found the right moment.

"You know, Killian," Snow said, "just because you can't be with her physically during this ordeal, doesn't mean you can't be with her in spirit."

Killian turned from his view outside to look at Swan's mother. "Aye? And how might I do that?"

"Do you remember when she left Storybrooke with Regina to try to find Lily?" Snow said.

"Aye," Killian said, "that was a mere few weeks ago."

"So it was," Snow said, looking a bit surprised. "So much has happened since that it feels like a lifetime ago. Anyway, do you remember what you said to her? Do you remember how you reminded her how very, very many reasons she had to resist the darkness?"

"Aye."

"Maybe you could do the same thing now," Snow suggested. "Tell her, Killian. Tell her how much you love her. Tell her how desperate you are for her safe return. Give her something to hold onto when things get difficult on this mission."

Killian turned back toward the window and watched as Merlin got to his feet, made one last comment and then walked regally away. After a moment he turned back to Snow. "Thank you. You've given me some significant food for thought."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Killian watched for a moment as Emma went toward the well. She looked somber, unsure of herself, and his heart ached for her. Couldn't she see it? Couldn't she see that even in her darkest moments she was the strongest woman he'd ever met?

Slipping his good hand beneath his vest and shirt, he fingered his ring, Liam's ring. If anything would convey his presence to her during this difficult mission, if anything would remind her of his love, if anything would protect her, it would be this ring.

It had always, always been a talisman to him, protecting him even when all hope seemed lost. During his dark days as a pirate, he used to imagine it was the tangible sign of Liam still with him, still looking after him, still protecting him—even from the demons within himself. On more than one occasion that ring had reminded him of the man of honor he wanted to be and had kept him from committing an act he couldn't come back from.

But it wasn't just moral strength the trinket gave him, but physical protection as well. He vividly remembered one battle while he was yet in the navy. He'd been shot at point blank range, straight to the chest. In that split second before the bullet made its impact, Killian felt a blinding fear. He was going to die.

And then the strangest thing happened. He heard Liam's voice in his head despite the fact his brother was at the far end of the ship. Do not fear, brother, the voice said. I am with you. I will protect you.

The bullet reached him…and bounced off. It was impossible, absolutely bloody impossible, but there was no other explanation. The bullet ricocheted off Liam's ring and saved his life. What was even more extraordinary, it didn't leave a mark—not on him or on the ring.

He knew the ring had saved his life that day, and if he didn't miss his guess, it was a large part of why he'd survived for so many centuries in Neverland.

If anything could protect Emma, it would be this.

Killian stepped from the diner and plastered a calm, confident look on his face. Inside he quaked, terrified for what might happen to his love on this most dangerous mission, but it wouldn't do to show her such fear. He must give her her best chance, and to do so, he must convey just how strongly and how completely he believed in her.

"You'll return by nightfall, right?" He asked, reaching her side, and returning the delighted smile she sent in his direction.

"Yes. We'll go get this spark thing, and then I'm working my way back to you, babe."

He noted the spark of mischief in her eyes. "I know when you're quoting something."

"And I love that you never know what it is," she said, stepping closer to him, invading his space, "Anyway, with a little bit of luck, we put Excalibur back together tomorrow and then, bam! No more darkness."

She sounded confident; she looked confident, but Killian knew how very easy it was to give into the darkness. All it would take would be one moment, one well-placed manipulation...

"Be careful, Emma," he said.

Instead of answering, she closed the last bit of distance between them and kissed him. It was a soft, gentle kiss, one that spoke of love and reassurance, both given and received. In that moment, with her soft, sweet lips pressed to his, Killian relaxed. It was always so when he kissed her. It was like coming home, like sitting before a gentle, flickering fire after a long night in the cold. She was the other half of his heart.

Pulling away after a moment, Killian reached for the chain holding his ring and pulled it over his head. Now was the moment. Now was the time to take her mother's advice and give her the one thing that could remind her that he was with her, always. That he would help her through any difficulty she might face.

"Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa," Emma said as soon as she got a look at the ring he was holding out to her.

Killian grinned. "Calm down, Swan. I'm not proposing." At least not yet. If he knew anything in this life, it was that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Emma Swan, but the time to ask for her hand wasn't now. He'd bide his time until they'd destroyed the darkness once and for all, and all they had facing them was endless years of happiness together.

Despite her immediate protest, she looked a bit disappointed he hadn't declared himself. His grin widened, but then he sobered, thinking of the task before her. "You know I'm a survivor," he continued. "This ring is why. I've had it for many years; it's the reason I'm alive, or it could be. Who knows?"

Emma's face softened. "You know I can't die today. I'm immortal now," she said gently.

"The Dark One is immortal, Emma isn't. Bring her home to me." She had to come home to him. She had to. The possibility of anything else was simply unendurable. "At the very least, it's a reminder that you have a piercing-eyed, smoldering pirate here who loves you."

Her face lit up with the force of her smile. Surging forward, she kissed him, smile still in place. He returned the kiss, brow still furrowed. He believed in her, trusted that she would do the right thing. He trusted his ring to protect her, but she was still going into one of the most dangerous situations she'd ever in her life faced, and the thought of what could happen to her terrified him.

After long moments, Emma pulled back, delighted smile in full bloom. "Thank you. I love you too."

He wanted to say so much more. He wanted to tell her in minute detail just what she meant to him. He wanted to tell her how his heart quaked within him at the very thought of anything happening to her. He wanted to tell her he didn't think he could survive it if he lost her, not now, not when she was everything to him.

But such emotional outbursts would be selfish. And so he simply smiled and turned away, let her go off on her quest with the warmth of his love surrounding her.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The walk toward…well wherever Merlin was taking her to confront the first Dark One was a largely silent one. It seemed Merlin wasn't much for conversation…or communication. Emma continued walking, wishing the sorcerer was chattier, wishing for something to take her mind off the confrontation that was to come.

The nerves bubbled up inside of her as she thought of the situation she found herself in. Merlin was taking her to the first Dark One. The first freaking Dark One. Emma would have to confront him (Her? It?). How was she supposed to do that? For days and endless nights, she dealt with sparkly golden Rumple taunting her, goading her, trying to get her to give into her darkest impulses.

And more than once she'd almost given in. She was tired, and it just seemed easier to give in and be done with it.

But something had always kept her on the right path, and that something had more often than not been Killian. He'd been her rock during this whole ordeal, ever since he'd showed up just as she was on the point of crushing Merida's heart. He'd believed in her from the first, loved her through it all, believed in her with everything in him. When she was with him, she believed that she could actually beat this thing.

She loved him so much it nearly hurt. The darkness had at one time or another been able to dull most of her other emotions, but her love for him blazed bright and true through it all.

"You don't, you know, really think I'm going to go all Dark One and kill you, do you?" Emma asked, looking over at the handsome sorcerer who walked regally beside her.

"That is a path I cannot see," he said mysteriously. "You may give into the darkness, you may not. Let us hope you can resist it or all hope is truly lost."

So, no pressure or anything.

"But…I don't want to kill you," Emma said. "You're helping me. Why would I even do that?"

"The call of the darkness is a strange thing, Emma," Merlin said. "It overwhelms, makes us do things we'd never believe ourselves capable of. You must keep your guard up."

Emma sighed in exasperation. What did he think she was going to do, stroll into…wherever they were going …with her eyes closed? And would it kill him to give her a little information once in a while?

"Surely there's some way I can increase my chances," Emma said. "Some spell, some technique, something."

"You, Emma," Merlin said calmly, "already have all you need right there."

Merlin pointed toward Emma's chest, and at first, she thought he was just speaking metaphorically. She had all she needed within her, her strength of character or some such crap, but then she noticed it, the ring Killian had given her lay nestled against her chest, next to her heart.

Emma pulled the chain free from her dress and fingered the ring, looking down at it, running her finger along it, trying it on. There was no blazing blast of insight. No sudden burst of magic…or strength…or courage, but there was love.

She wished Killian was here beside her, helping her through this challenge, bolstering her when she doubted herself, but…maybe the ring was the next best thing.

As they continued to walk and Emma held tight to the ring, she thought over the last few torturous weeks. He'd been there from the start, never wavering in his commitment to her. He'd even taken up residence within her bedchamber at night. She'd thought he'd wanted something…carnal when he came to her that first night, but that hadn't been it at all.

"Swan," he'd said, when she'd reached for him, "you've no idea how I long to make love to you."

"I'm right here," she'd said, spreading her arms wide in invitation.

He'd shaken his head slowly, deliberately. "Emma, we've yet to consummate our relationship. There have been myriad reasons, but know this, when I take you to my bed it will not be when you are not yourself. I will not take advantage of you in that fashion."

She'd felt grateful for his unfailing respect for her, but at the same time she'd wanted to just lose herself in him, to maybe forget about the crap her life was.

"If you're not here for that, why are you here?" she asked, far more harshly than she'd intended.

He merely looked at her for a long moment before stepping forward and taking her into his arms. "I know you're hurting, love. I know you feel as though you're coming apart at the seams. There may be precious little I can do to help you in this fight against the darkness, but I can keep you company, do my best to keep your demons at bay."

"Thank you," she'd said simply. "I appreciate it more than you know, but Killian it's late. I'm a Dark One; I can't sleep, but you should get your rest."

He'd shook his head. "I've plenty of time to sleep once we free you from this demon. For now, nothing would bring me more solace than simply being with you."

And he'd tried. Every night he'd tried valiantly to stay awake, to be her companion through all the dark hours of the night.

But he was a mortal man, after all, and though his mind wished to remain awake, his body submitted to sleep. Every night when he'd succumbed, she'd climbed on her bed beside him, stroked his face, kissed his lips, vowed to him in every way she knew how that she'd come back to him, that she'd find a way to beat this darkness

And now, here, on this bright sunny day in Camelot with the most powerful sorcerer in all the lands by her side, she finally had a chance.

Emma slipped the ring onto her pointer finger, thinking of the love in Killian's eyes as he'd presented it to her. For a moment, she'd genuinely believed he was going to propose.

The thought totally freaked her out. Marriage was a big deal. It was forever. It was…exactly what she wanted, if she were totally honest with herself. She wanted it all, the big house, the white picket fence life, marriage, a couple kids. The American dream. She wanted it and she wanted it with Killian.

And you shall have it, the ring seemed to say to her. You shall defeat this villain as you have all the others you've faced, and then our life together can begin.

Emma nodded to herself as they came in sight of what looked like the ruins of a castle. She would bring Emma back to Killian, she would get the spark thing they needed, they would cut the darkness from her, and she and Killian would have happily ever after.

No, maybe she couldn't have Killian physically beside her as she fought this battle, but she knew one thing for absolute sure. His love and his belief surrounded her, whether he was by her side or a galaxy away.

And with that love she could handle anything the darkness might throw at her.

"Are you ready Emma?" Merlin asked, when they reached the ruins. "The time has come."

Emma nodded. "Let's get ourselves a spark."

Notes:

-This story was originally written for the second edition of the Captain Swan Storybrook. Several authors and illustrators came together to tell Emma and Killian's story from start to Happy Beginning. My story was obviously for 5x7, Nimue. If you haven't seen the book yet, check it out on the csstorybook Tumblr page! There are more than 500 pages of CS goodness waiting for you to dive into.

-So what did you think of 7x2? It seems like people's emotions ran the gamut after the episode, but I really, really liked the CS send off. I love that they're happy and in love and together and about to be parents again! I love that Killian gets to be there with Emma every step of the way for her second pregnancy. Of course I'll miss them, but I'm happy to have seen their whole story from start to finish.

-Up next: A deleted scene somewhere between the swordfight scene at the beginning of 7x2 and the moment Emma and Killian and Regina come to Henry's aid in the alternate Enchanted Forest. One moment I really, really wish we'd have seen was the moment Emma told Killian she was pregnant. So that's next week's story!