The Crush

CS Genre: Season 3a deleted scene

Emma took a deep breath, willing her heartrate to return to normal, trying her best to ignore the fact that her lips still tasted of rum and him.

It would seem she'd made a profound mistake, and she just may be even more screwed than she'd previously thought.

She'd kissed him. She'd kissed Hook, and it was better than she could have ever imagined. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal. It was supposed to be just…a way to diffuse the strange tension that had been building between them ever since the beanstalk. Just a purely physical thing between two people who were attracted to each other.

But the warmth surrounding her whole being that had nothing to do with the humid Neverland climate proved that whatever that kiss was supposed to be, it went way beyond.

Emma had felt something for Hook from the start. There was no denying that he was hot—steal your breath, make your stomach swoop hot—but she was no stranger to hot guys. It was a simple enough thing to admire them from afar, maybe flirt with them, maybe even indulge in the occasional one nighter, but it never went beyond that.

But with Hook….she let out a long, slow breath. She'd first realized there was more to him than swagger and innuendo when they were at the top of the beanstalk. They'd worked well together. He was quick thinking and intelligent. They understood each other, like they'd been together for decades. Searching the giant's lair for the compass had been fun, despite the anxiety she felt about finding a way back to Henry.

And when she'd grabbed him to keep him from setting off the trip wire, and he'd misunderstood and wrapped his arms around her….she hadn't felt butterflies like that since Neal, and that terrified her more than anything she could have imagined.

She'd never really had the luxury of having crushes on guys when she was growing up. Before she'd run away that final time, she moved so frequently that she was never able to really get attached to any of the guys she went to school with, and then after she was on the streets…well, survival was first and foremost on her mind.

But there at the top of the beanstalk, when he'd bandaged her hands with his teeth, when he'd held her to him, when he'd worked in tandem with her to achieve their shared objective, she'd crushed on him hard. Palms sweating, heart racing, breath catching, can't look away from him attraction. But there'd been more than that. He seemed so sincere in wanting to help her. He'd seemed so genuine. He'd seemed like he felt the same way about her, and that had been terrifying.

So she'd left him chained up in the giant's foyer, turning away amid his pleas and curses and rushing back down the beanstalk. Because she couldn't, she absolutely couldn't take a chance that she was wrong about him. And it wasn't just because he might double cross them and take the compass for himself.

Emma heard her parents' soft voices as she neared the camp, and she stopped for another moment. She'd asked Hook to wait five minutes before coming back, but she needed the time as well. She needed a moment to build up her defenses again after that mind-blowing kiss.

It was everything a kiss should be. His lips has been soft and firm beneath hers. He'd been willing to let her take the lead, but he'd given as good as he'd taken, his mouth moving with hers in wild, sweet abandon. It had been all heat, all open mouths, tongues tangled, hot breath mingling. He'd tasted so good, and the feelings those talented lips elicited….she'd never lost herself in a kiss before, not really. But with this one, well maybe some of the cheesy descriptions of kisses in romance novels were true. Maybe it was possible to block out everything around you because all there was in the entire world was the man in front of her, the man whose kiss made her feel like she was drowning and being rescued all at once.

If there was an awards show for kisses, this one would have won "Most Earthshatteringly Amazing Kiss Ever".

She'd hoped that if she gave in to her attraction just this once that it would diffuse the tension, get the crazy want out of her system, but it had done just the opposite. Having a taste of him made her want him all the more. It had been almost physically impossible to make herself step away from him when all she wanted in the world in that post-kiss moment was to dive back in for round two.

It had been even harder to tune out the little voice in her head that insisted he wasn't the man she originally thought he was, the voice that told her she could trust him—with this mission, with rescuing Henry, with getting them home, even…even with her heart.

She needed to step back, get some perspective, remind herself why she'd vowed never again to give a man her heart and let him crush it the way Neal had.

She needed a friend, someone to confide in, someone to help her regain her equilibrium when her desire for Hook, her attraction to him, her trust in him overrode every self-preservation instinct she had.

Emma stepped into the clearing, dropping down on the log before the fire.

"You okay, Emma?" Snow asked, giving her a quick, concerned look, "you seem a little flushed."

"I'm fine," Emma said, profoundly glad that even if her whole world felt like it had turned upside down, at least her voice sounded normal rather than breathless. "Just…ready to get Henry and get off this damn island."

Her mother was silent for a moment, looking at her closely. She turned, shared a wordless conversation with David, and then turned back to Emma. "We'll find him. It's what this family does. Next thing you know we'll be back at Granny's—all of us—having a hot cocoa and listening to Henry talk a mile a minute about his harrowing adventure."

Emma smiled sadly, she hoped Mary Margaret was right. She really, really hoped so.

"And Emma," Mary Margaret continued tentatively, "you know you can talk to me, right? About anything?"

But it wasn't as simple as that anymore. Now with this weird mother/daughter relationship going…things with Mary Margaret had just been…weird. Emma wished she could go back to the days where the school teacher was just her friend and roommate. She could really use a little girl talk to help her put this…whatever it was…with Hook into perspective.

"Yeah, I know…" Emma said softly.

"I mean it, Emma," Mary Margaret pressed on. "Anything. I'm here for you."

"And so am I," David insisted.

Emma smiled once again. Maybe….maybe that best friend and roommate was still there, even if Mary Margaret was her mother. Maybe she would find a way to talk to her mom, sometime when the guys weren't in ear shot. Couldn't hurt.

And even if it didn't help, well, Emma was serious. That kiss had been a one-time thing. They'd get Henry back, and then she'd move on, walls intact. She'd forget about this stupid crush and life would go back to normal.

It wasn't like she was going to marry the guy and have his baby or something.

Notes:

-Happy Once Day! Can't believe we're already getting part one of the season finale! I'm not ready to say goodbye!

-So with today's story….yeah, you can't tell me Killian was the only one who had to take five minutes to pull himself together after that kiss. BOTH of them were completely wrecked in the aftermath. (As were all of us, to be fair.) And I just couldn't resist the delicious irony of that last line because they are married and they're having a baby, and it's all I could have hoped for!

-Up next: 3b deleted scene. After Killian declines going to dinner with the family post 3x17, Emma realizes he's pulling away, and she tries to come up with a way to get him to cheer up (or at least open up to her).