The Funeral

CS Genre: 5x15 deleted scene

Emma yawned, turning over to burrow deeper into Killian's warmth, her legs tangled with his, her hand resting on his hair-smattered chest. It was disconcerting, to say the least, to feel nothing where his heart should be, but with a little luck, they'd soon be out of this (literal) hell hole and back in their actual home.

It had been quite the day. Having finally found Killian, Emma brought him home to the Underworld version of their house and then promptly healed him of all the wounds Hades had inflicted on him.

At least the physical ones.

The psychological ones, the ones borne of self-loathing, those her magic couldn't touch. Some amount of healing had come from a rather unexpected source, his brother Liam. It had been a bit of a tumultuous day, to say the least, with Liam's distrust of her, his betrayal of all of them, his dark secret, but it had all come right in the end.

Liam may have slipped from the pedestal Killian had placed him on all his life, but in the end it had served to help Killian see that even his greatest hero had made mistakes, mistakes he'd had to live with for centuries. But it was never too late to make things right. Liam had found a way to atone for his sins. He'd helped Silver's crew to move on and find their rest, and in doing so, he'd earned himself a spot in paradise.

Killian had told her what Liam had said to him just before he and the crew sailed on to their long awaited reward.

"And don't worry about reaching that bar anymore, Killian. You've become a true hero in a way I never could."

Emma's heart warmed at the memory of the light and wonder in Killian's eyes as he'd recounted the moment to her. For the first time he'd come to realize that there was hope for him; that he could overcome the mistakes of the past.

But healing of wounds, of self-loathing so deep and pervasive, was not the work of a moment. It couldn't be overcome in just one heartfelt statement from a brother Killian had idolized. It would be a long road, Emma well knew, and it was one she was determined to help him walk as soon as they made it home.

"Are you alright love?" Killian asked, bringing her back to the present and rubbing a soothing hand up and down her arm. "You seem a bit restless tonight."

"Yeah, I'm fine," Emma said, propping herself up so she could gently kiss his lips before she settled back down on his chest. "I'm just ready to get you out of here, ready to go home. You should never have ended up in the underworld."

He reached up to scratch behind his ear. "Swan, I was a villain for centuries. I've done things…things that would likely shock you to your core. If anyone deserves to be in this place it's me."

Emma sighed. "Killian, I know this is hard for you to believe, but the man I love, the man who's here with me right now is one of the strongest, bravest, best men I know. If anyone deserves his happy ending, it's you."

Killian brought her head down for a long, slow kiss, but when they broke apart, he sighed. "I know you believe that, Emma; I do, and I love you for it. More than you know, but…."

Emma waited for him to continue, ready to listen, ready to give him what he needed. But when he continued silent, she knew where his thoughts had taken him. She could read him as well as he could read her. How could she get through to him? How could she make him see himself the way she, the way the whole town did?

"You think I'm biased," Emma said, idly running her fingers through his chest hair. "That the fact that I love you like crazy has, I don't know, blinded me to your true nature, or whatever."

Killian sighed. "Well hasn't it? Swan, love covers a multitude of sins. It makes the most unsavory palatable. It allows for forgiveness and understanding where perhaps there ought be none."

Emma shook her head. "I don't believe that. Killian, I believe love is like…it's like a pair of glasses."

He barked out a quick laugh. "Glasses?"

She chuckled with him. "Okay, I know my analogy isn't as beautiful and romantic as yours always are, but hear me out."

"Always, my love."

She laid her head back on his chest. "Glasses. People wear them, because they can't see clearly, right? Well love is like glasses. It lets you see the truth of a person in a way you never could before. So you see, Killian, yeah, I may be biased in your favor because I love you, but it doesn't make the way I see you any less true."

"Perhaps…"

"I'm right and you know it," Emma said, leaning up and giving him a playful grin in the reddish light of the moon shining into their bedroom.

"Far be it from me to argue with you, Swan," he said with a chuckle.

She kissed him again, this one longer, tinged with passion. But they were both tired, they'd had a long and draining day, and Killian had only just escaped from relentless torture. Now was not the time to follow this kiss to its inevitable conclusion, so Emma reluctantly pulled away.

"It's not just me that sees how you've changed, you know," Emma said.

"Aye?"

"Yeah. Did you know we had a funeral for you?"

His hand stopped its caress along her back. "Did you?"

"Of course, you idiot."

"That…must have been difficult for you," he said, resuming his caresses.

She chuckled humorlessly. "Understatement of the year. I was barely holding it together."

"I'm sorry for the pain my passing caused, my love."

She slapped him gently. "Will you stop apologizing and let me tell you what I'm trying to tell you."

He laughed, and then kissed the top of her head. "By all means, proceed."

Emma was silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "It was a hard day, saying goodbye to you for what I thought was the last time, but that's not why I brought it up. Did you know that the graveyard was absolutely packed when we laid you to rest?"

"Truly?"

"Yeah," she said. "Regina had to rig up this magically powered microphone just so that the people in the back could hear the eulogies and stuff. Seemed like everyone was there. Our family, of course, but also Granny, the dwarfs, Archie, the Lost Boys that we brought back from Neverland, Smee and as many people from your old crew as we could find, Belle and Gold (though if I'd known what that son of a bitch had done to you, I would have barred him from coming anywhere near your gravesite), Aurora and Philip, Ashley and Sean, the refugees from Camelot, Merida, and so many, many others. Killian you touched so many, many lives—and not through your villainy. Through your efforts to be a better man."

"Swan," he said, his voice conveying how very much her list had touched him. "All of those people showed up to honor me?"

"That's what I've been trying to say, Killian," Emma said. "I love you, and that may help me see you in a positive light, but all these other people, there must have been upwards of a hundred there, they were all there to honor you as well."

"What was it like?" Killian asked, "My funeral service."

"Well, it took us a good week to figure out what we were going to do to lay you to rest. Smee insisted you would want to be buried at sea, but I couldn't stand that idea. I couldn't stand the thought of not having a gravesite for you, somewhere I could come and talk to you, spend time with you, even if you weren't really there. In the end, Smee conceded."

Emma was silent for a moment, feeling the emotions well up just thinking about that terrible day she had to bury her true love. It had been one of the worst days of her life. Finally, when she felt she could trust her voice to remain steady, she continued.

"Granny sang a couple sea shanties in your honor," Emma said. "I had no idea, but she actually has a really nice voice. Prince Eric joined her on one, and I'm telling you. Those two could put out an album together. Anyway, after the songs Archie—he was presiding—said a few words about grieving and finding peace and hope even after losing someone we love, then came the eulogies."

"Multiple eulogies?"

"Oh yeah," Emma said, laughing. "Seemed like half the town wanted to share stories about what you meant to them—Granny, Grumpy, Smee, of course, a few of the other dwarfs. My parents each said a few words, and then Henry... Henry talked about how much you'd come to mean to him. Said you were like a second father to him. He could barely finish his eulogy, he was getting so choked up."

"He's a good lad," Killian said. "And I'm honored and humbled he'd wish to speak at my funeral."

"I…" Emma said, "I couldn't Killian. I couldn't give you a eulogy. Like I said, I was barely holding it together."

"I quite understand," he said, "Had our roles been reversed, I've no clue how I could have withstood the grief."

"Yeah, sometimes I still wonder how I didn't just die of the grief, it was so strong, but enough wallowing on the pain. The point of this whole discussion was to help you see that you've touched so very many lives. I know it's going to take you time to accept it and truly believe it, but Killian Jones you are a good man, a true hero, and so many, many people believe it. Once we get home and defeat Hades, I plan to spend every single day reminding you of that until you believe it for yourself."

"Thank you," he said again, before kissing her. "It means more to me than you could ever know. Now what say we get some sleep? Now that we're together, Hades doesn't stand a chance."

Notes:

-It took me a loooooong time to actually finish this chapter, because for the longest time it just wasn't working for me. I planned to write a fic involving the Jones brothers and Emma—a canon divergence from 5x15, but try as I might, I just couldn't figure out how to make it fluffy and not angsty.

-So in order to avoid angst, I decided to go with…a funeral, lol. In canon, they never told us how much time passed between Killian dying and Emma hearing the dagger whispering to her, but given the fact that Killian had a grave with an ornately carved stone and all of that makes me think it was at least a few days. Also, said grave makes me think they had a funeral for him.

-Seriously, though, I felt like the big theme in "The Brothers Jones" was Killian's self-loathing and his feeling that he wasn't good enough. He was so focused on the villain he used to be he couldn't see the hero he'd become. In canon, finding out the truth about Liam and then finding his peace with him helped quite a bit, but centuries of self-loathing is not overcome in one 43 minute episode. Thus my decision to have Emma help him with the same issues as well.

-Up next: 6a. Right now, I'm planning to have something post 6x3 focusing on Killian moving in with Emma.