Marked Man part II

After unloading the car, Jay left Erin and Liam at the apartment so he could run down a few leads. When he returned two hours later, he stopped just inside the door to eavesdrop.

"Who's your army man?" Erin asked of the plastic figure that Liam had pulled from all the others and sat on the table in front of him.

"It's my daddy."

"Oh, it is? Why is that one your dad?"

"Because he has the biggest gun and saves the most people."

"Well, that makes sense." Erin replied

"I'm going to color the clouds orange," Liam said, shifting gears. "My mom's favorite color is orange."

"It is?" Erin asked. "What's your dad's favorite color?"

"I don't know—maybe blue."

"What's your favorite color?"

"I like red, but I like blue too and green."

"You color very nicely," Erin said as she watched him shade the clouds orange.

"My mom said it's okay to color outside the lines and that I can pick any color I want for anything. But I try to keep it nice because I think it looks better and Mommy puts the better ones on the fridgerator." He said as he colored the dog in his picture brown and red.

"What's the dog's name?"

"Oscar," Liam proclaimed causing Jay to quickly round the corner.

"Why that name? Who told you about that name? Has any stranger talked to you?" Jay said rapidly firing off questions, concerned that somehow Oscar Bembenek had gotten to his son.

Liam looked a little frightened and most definitely confused, causing Erin to speak up. "Chill out dude, it's okay."

"It's D.J.'s dog's name. He's a wiener dog." Liam replied. "He's named that because of Oscar Mayer hot dogs. I hate hot dogs yuck." He said as he shook his head and made a face.

"Okay," Jay said breathing a sigh of relief. Jay forgot he had a surprise behind his back and brought it around and showed Liam.

"Bear," Liam exclaimed seeing his police bear in Jay's arms. He reached out and took the stuffed toy and set it on the table.

"He must have fallen out of the bag. I found him in the trunk."

"How'd your errands go? Find anything out?"

"A few things. I'll fill you in later. What happened here?"

"Well, we ate dinner: fish sticks, green beans and tater tots," Erin said.

"How did he eat?"

"Pretty good. He ate most of the beans and tater tots, but he basically just stabbed the fish sticks."

"Wait a minute; you had fish sticks, green beans and tater tots in your freezer?"

"Heck no. My neighbor across the hall watches her granddaughter a lot and she had this stuff. Then we did homework, there was quite a little note in red about the fact that Liam hadn't done his work in the last couple of nights. But don't worry, we caught up. When did Kindergartners start doing homework? I mean he was working on negative numbers," she said astonished.

"Yep, negative one is less that zero," Liam chirped as he continued to color.

"When did five year old's starting doing sixth grade math? But we're actually finishing it up right now, with something a little more age appropriate—at least in my opinion."

"Yeah Daddy, you have to do a color page. This one is yours," Liam said shoving a picture of what appeared to be a mailman on it."

"People in your neighborhood," Erin clarified. "It's a family project. I got to color the flower shop."

"Flower shop huh?" Jay said as he smirked.

"You know Liam has that same smirk."

"What smirk? I don't smirk."

"Oh, okay," she laughed. "Except that you do, you both do. Like you are reacting to a joke only you can hear and understand. Oh, and we did laundry. In fact your son and his dump truck I might add, escorted me and our laundry down to the laundry room. And it's probably done in the dryer so I'll be right back," she said as she slid her color page over to Liam. "Put this in your folder for tomorrow."

"Did you put your name on it?" Liam asked.

"Sure did, right there," she pointed to the corner. "Now, I'm going to go get the clothes.

"No wait!" Liam called out causing both adults to stop and look at the five year old with concern. "I want to tell you a joke," he said.

"Oh you do?" Erin said pausing. "Well, that's worth waiting for."

"Knock knock," Liam began.

"Who's there?" Erin asked.

"Um, a little old—a little old lady," Liam said.

"A little old lady who?" Erin asked.

"I didn't know you could yodel," Liam said giggling.

"That's funny," Jay said as Erin chuckled and headed towards the door.

"I'm going to go take my yodeling skills down the hall. I'll be back." She said as she disappeared through the door.

"Color Daddy," Liam ordered, suddenly serious as he shoved some crayons Jay's direction.

"I will, but first I'm going to start running some water in the tub because you need a bath."

"Is there bubbles?" Liam asked, looking up.

"Not tonight buddy," Jay said not wanting to pour some expensive floral concoction into the water that would render his son smelling like a literal rose. Probably some holdover from his father. Boys were boys, they didn't like to smell good, wear anything other than blue or earth tones and their hair was always supposed to be short and just off kilter instead of in orderly little rows. Both Jay and Will, were rough and tumble boys, scraped knees, dirty hands, mismatched and disheveled clothes. But Jay had always wondered what life would have been like if they hadn't been.

Jay started the water and came back and sat down and began to color. He gave the mailman pink pants, a yellow shirt and green shoes. If you had asked him ten years ago, what he would be doing, he somehow hadn't envisioned this. But as he looked across the table at his son, whose tongue was out as he concentrated on coloring the little boy in the picture that was playing with 'Oscar', he felt all kinds of emotions bubble up, several that were confusing. He loved his son so much, but was also at a complete loss as how to raise him by himself. It hadn't been that long ago that he had gotten into a comfortable routine of being a part-time dad, but now, it appears that Bridget had changed their entire world and he had no idea why.

"I'm all done. Does Erin have bathtub toys?" Liam asked causing Jay to jump up and check on the water in the tub.

"I don't think she does," Jay said as he returned after turning the water off. "Let's see if we can find something to play with," he said looking in the cabinets for a Tupperware bowl or something he could later use to wash Liam's hair. He found a big plastic cup and a strainer.

"Can I bring my cars in the tub?" Liam asked holding two plastic police cars.

"Sure. Let's go," Jay instructed as Erin came back in with a laundry basket of heaping clean clothes.

"I'm borrowing these," Jay held his items up. "Bath time."

"Take what you need. I'll get a pair of pajamas and his underwear with pictures on them," Erin said dumping out the load and beginning to fold it.

Jay got Liam undressed after the boy came into the bathroom with a handful of army men, explaining that they needed a bath too. Once in the tub, they pushed the cars around and Jay had Liam attempt to fill up the strainer. "The water won't stay in," Liam stated, his nose scrunched up in apparent frustration.

"How come?"

"I don't know," Liam said.

"Look at it," Jay instructed causing Liam to stare at it. "Look at the bottom. Put your hand down there underneath it." Liam did as instructed. "Can you see your hand at all?"

"There's lots of holes where the water leaks out," Liam proclaimed.

"That's right. That's why the water won't stay in there."

"Oh yeah, Mommy uses this for sgetti," Liam said butchering the word spaghetti. "Daddy, when is Mommy going to be done with her trip?"

"I don't know kiddo." Jay said as he laid his head on the edge of the tub and gazed at his son.

"That's what you always say," Liam said dejectedly.

"I know. I'm sorry, but I really don't know. Let's wash your hair so we have time to read a story."

"Are you going to go on a trip?" Liam asked looking at Jay, his eyes sad.

"No way." Jay assured, feeling the world that Oscar Bembenek had created tighten around him. "Damn you Bridget," he whispered as he lathered up Liam's hair.

He had began to get the shampoo worked in when he found a big sticky spot. "Why is your hair so sticky?"

"Cause I got a lollipop stuck in it." Liam said.

"How did that happen?"

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"Where did you get the candy?" Jay didn't mind a few treats, but he and Bridget had always agreed that they would do their best to ensure their son had a reasonable diet that didn't include a massive amount of sugar.

"Grandpa said I was a good boy and good boys get treats," Liam replied.

"I see," Jay replied thinking he must have been a bad boy growing up as candy had rarely, if ever come from his father.

Once clean, Jay pulled Liam out of the tub and wrapped him up with the towel he had used after his shower that morning and told him to stay put as he went into the living room and found some pajamas. Erin handed him a pair along with some Toy Story patterned underwear and they finished up their nightly routine, Liam reminding Jay that he has still forgotten the sparkle toothpaste. One day he would get it all together, but it would have to be another day and he would definitely need more time in order to do it.

"Story time. Can we read two books?" Liam asked.

Jay looked at the clock and debated but recalled Liam falling asleep on the ride home. "Two short ones. We have to go to sleep soon."

"Me too," Erin said yawning. "I need my beauty sleep."

"No you don't," Liam argued. "You're already pretty."

"I like this kid," Erin said giving Liam a hug.

Jay tucked Liam in, who was still holding his favorite army man in his little fist, and read two short stories, one about a tractor trailer who was worried he was going to be late dropping his goods off, but tried his best and came out as a hero, getting the products to the hospital just in time. The other was about a raccoon who was doing his best to live in the city and not bother any of the people that also resided in the neighborhood. The two species seemed to find a happy medium, something that was rarity in any city, state or neighborhood.

"Daddy, sing me a song," Liam said as Jay stood up.

"Son, believe me, you do not want me to sing."

"But Mommy sings me a song most nights. You know that one I like," Liam encouraged.

"I'm not even sure if that song is in English," Jay commented, knowing exactly what song his son was speaking of. He had heard Bridget sing it to Liam several times when he dropped the boy off late and stayed to tuck him in. She of course spoke fluent English, her first language, but occasionally some kind of Gaelic would spill out. He always thought it sounded like her tongue was tying itself in knots.

"It's okay Daddy, I can still hear her in my ears," he said as he closed his eyes and began to hum.

Jay closed his eyes as he heard his son hum and wished for better; better for Liam, better for Bridget so that she would come back to Chicago. It had been six weeks since they had begun their days without her and with no ending in sight, it made this bounty on his head feel like a secondary problem.

He stepped out of the bedroom and watch Erin sort piles of clothes as a twinge shot through his entire body. He was looking at a woman he was beginning to have feelings for, whether he liked it or not, as he mourned the disappearance of another woman that he had had feelings for, whether he liked it or not. It would seem as of late, he wasn't in control of much at all.

The next day started off with the usual chaos that Jay was slowly becoming accustomed to. Erin did notice that Liam had put the little army man with the big gun in the front pocket of his backpack. She wondered if he did that every day. She helped by finding him clothes he agreed to wear and getting him some breakfast that he agreed to eat. And by working together they had actually gotten the boy there on time, and as Jay watched his son disappear he wondered who would be picking him up that afternoon. He couldn't continue to use his father—that clearly wasn't working out. Well maybe the actual babysitting was fine, but the pick-up in the evening was a constant disaster. They needed to wrap this case up, Jay needed his life back, his apartment back, his son's safety back. Little did he know at that the solution was well on its way.

They hadn't been at work long when it was discovered that bodies were dropping and dropping fast. Loved ones of anyone involved in the case against Oscar Bembenek been found dead, a mother, a daughter, murdered. Jay was determined that the count was going to stop now, even if he had to risk his own life. Suddenly it wasn't about him anymore, the circle had widened including those whose only sin had been that they shared DNA with the perceived enemy and they paid the ultimate price. And Liam shared a lot of DNA with him.

"Sarge, I want my son here now!" Jay yelled as he heard the news of two dead bodies.

"We'll get him here. Burgess, Roman, go get Liam Halstead. You don't stop on the way there or the way back here." Voight yelled.

Erin jumped up and volunteered to go as well. "He knows me, I don't want him to be too scared," she explained, causing Hank to give her a second look before nodding his permission.

Jay was pacing, practically wearing grooves into the floor as he went. All he could think about was his son's safety and how if his father found out about the danger that Liam was potentially in—that he would cram it down Jay's throat. But what bothered him the most was that both ideas were sharing his thoughts too equally, causing him to wonder what the hell was wrong with him.

There was a lead that tracked to an old hitman for hire that had supposedly retired named Jimmy Price or JP as he was known in the inner circle. The man needed a favor that Voight could produce and a deal was made on a promise and a handshake. With that agreement, Price would play the game that the CPD offered him. Jay wasn't exactly sure how they had gotten here, nor did he care, what he did care about was that this was going to end today no matter what he had to do in order to make it happen. And that thought process made him say yes to riding shotgun with JP while Voight was still in the process of shaking his head no.

"It's too dangerous," Sarge stated matter-of-factly, his face confounded at Jay's defiance. " Permission is not granted. You have a five year old son to consider."

"Who I'll never be able to look in the eye again if I don't do this. Sarge, two innocent people have died. My son could be on that hit list and if anything ever happened to him—especially if I could have stopped it," Jay said drifting as the words he was saying suddenly made everything so real. "I'm sure there will probably be more dead if I don't do this. I can't have that on my conscious—I just can't." Jay said just as Liam burst through the door ahead of Erin.

"Daddy," he screeched as he ran to Jay and jumped into his arms. "I got to ride in a police car. But I'm not even in trouble."

"That is so cool," Jay said, pasting a smile on his face, his voice slightly shaky. "Do you remember being here before? Mommy brought you a couple of times to see me," Jay reminded. Liam nodded as he looked around the room at the sea of faces that were smiling at him.

Jay introduced everyone as Trudy came up the stairs. "Daddy has to go work outside on the streets right now, but Sargent Platt is going to keep you company. And then, when I'm done, we'll go out and get something to eat. Does that sound good?"

"Okay," Liam replied, but his face and voice betrayed any feelings of actual approval as he could felt the weight of the room around him.

Jay set Liam down and pulled out a matchbox car from his desk drawer which was still in its plastic covering that he had just bought the other day. It was a red sports car, like the one that Liam had seen on their way home a week before and commented on how fast it must zoom. "You can play with this and help Sargent Platt with anything that she needs okay?"

Liam took the car after Jay had freed it from its casing and looked up at his father, his face anything but certain. He had no idea why he was at the district or why all the adults seemed to be acting weird, but he did know that it probably wasn't good. His mom had acted weird for a few days and then she went away and still hadn't come home. A knot formed in his stomach and he didn't think that he would want the meal that his father had promised him even if it had french fries.

Liam looked back up at Jay, his eyes clouding over with fear causing Jay to pick him back up and hold him tightly. "I love you so much. You know that right?" Jay asked.

"Yeah," Liam mumbled.

Jay's own eyes began to moisten as he continued to hold Liam close. Erin put her hand on Jay's arm as he fought his emotions.

"Daddy, your squishing me," Liam managed to say as he was being squeezed.

"Sorry bud," Jay said, still struggling with his emotions. He set him down and went over to his desk and picked up his badge that had been sitting there on the chain. "I have a very important job for you. I need you to take very good care of my badge," he said placing it over Liam's head as it dangled down to the boy's waist. "Can you do that for me?" Jay asked knowing he wouldn't be needing it on his upcoming adventure.

"Yes Daddy," Liam said somberly. "I'll keep it on until you get back. I promise."

"Okay. I'll be back soon." Jay said, struggling to get the words out.

Trudy reached out for Liam's hand but the little boy stopped and turned back around to Jay. "You have to keep this for me," he said tugging out the little plastic green army man from his pants pocket that he toted around everywhere. "This is you," he explained as he handed it to his father. "Now there will be two of you to get the bad guys."

Erin nodded at the two Halstead's with her eyes tearing up as Trudy took Liam by the hand and steered him downstairs back to her desk so that the unit could talk freely and prepare for what was ahead. Liam pushed his new car on the wall as they descended, but not before he took one last look behind him.

With everything in place including doctored cuffs that were easy for Jay to escape from and instructions given, Voight took one last look at Jay. "You do anything and everything to get back here without a scratch. I am not telling that little boy that you are hurt or worse. Am I clear?"

"Yeah Sarge," Jay said licking lips, already understanding what was at stake for all the potential victims out there, himself and his five year old son. But he knew he couldn't turn back. It was likely that Liam's name was on the list of victims and he be damned if anyone would hurt his son or an other innocent in the name of vengeance.

"All we need is for him to lead us to whoever it is that Bembenek is bankrolling. We just need eyes on him. You are to stay looking like you've had ten too many, while at the same time be aware of anything and everything that is around you. Easy right?" Voight continued.

"Piece of cake," Jay replied with a shaky smile.

Things didn't go as exactly as planned or smoothly. Jay was supposed to look like he was practically comatose as JP hauled him to the meeting place, but they soon discovered that Bembenek's men were smarter and/or more paranoid than initially thought. They had taken out insurance in the form of kidnapping Price's son to ensure that they got their man—the man being Jay. Price was to deliver a drugged, and quite subdued target to them so they could kill Jay themselves, but clearly the trust had never been there. Jay had been acting the part, but suddenly with his own son's safety at risk, Price wasn't.

"What was the text?" Jay asked from the passenger seat, his heart hammering in his chest. He knew there were hundreds of small moving parts in the plan and one had just fallen away. He had pulled his hands from the handcuffs as he knew he could, but Price was prepared and already had the gun on him.

"They have my son," he said showing Jay his phone that held a picture of his tied up and terrified teenage son. "I can't—I can't," he began just letting the words drift and hang.

Jay knew there were far more ways for this to go wrong than right, but he had to make it work, it was the only way to save those that deserved it—including himself. He could do this, he had been in many situations in Afghanistan that were worse than this, in a place he wasn't he wasn't familiar with and a language he didn't understand. If he could survive all that he'd be damned if he was going down on the streets of his city, giving satisfaction to a piece of shit bully like Bembenek.

"I have a son too," Jay began, talking quickly, his words piling up at a rapid rate. He needed Price to lose a little focus, to understand that Jay had a lot to live for. "He's this many," Jay held his hand up, showing five fingers like Liam so often did when describing his age. "His mother left six weeks ago and I don't think she's coming back."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Price said, not sounding very sorry at all.

"He has blond hair, his mother's blue eyes, he loves baseball and books and cars."

"He sounds delightful," Price commented again, still not sounding very supportive.

"Look man, we can still get this done without you regretting your actions."

"It's my son!" JP screamed.

Jay stayed quiet, but internally he screamed the very same thing.

Finally after having a scavenger hunt for a new phone, stealing a minivan in an attempt to lose the team that was trailing them, they ended up in a vacant lot. Jay was aware of what was at stake and he knew if he could just gain the upper hand, he could save the man's son, take down the hired assassin that they were to meet up with and get back in time to take Liam out to eat.

As Price pulled him from the van Jay swept his feet out from underneath him and fell on top of him, grateful that his hands, that had been bound earlier with a plastic zip tie, were at least in front of him. He managed to get a few blows to JP's chin and then kneed him hard enough to cause the man to gasp for breath as Jay scampered over, still on his belly to the gun that he had knocked away from his captor. He picked it up and with his adrenaline fueled strength he jerked his hands apart and broke the plastic cuffs, taking a moment to stare at them as they fell to the ground. Despite his effort, he hadn't really thought he could do it.

"Look, we'll get your son back," Jay said as he heard a car coming their way driven by Bembenek's man. Price stood up as Jay trained the gun on him. "Like I said, I have a son too—I get it. Just continue to act like you're in control," he said putting his hands behind his back, but the gun was clenched tightly in his hand and pointed at Price. But somehow not having witnessed the switch in power, the driver of the incoming car felt something off and it took a car chase by the Intelligence Unit to corral him and get JP's son back.

With everyone back in the garage area back at the district, Hank was thanking the team for they did, most especially Jay. "The city has no idea what you did for it today—and unfortunately it will have to remain that way, but we all know. We know what a hero you truly are," he said as Trudy brought Liam down. "Heroes are allowed to have families," he continued, "but the weight they bear, that they both bear, is heavier than most." He said as he looked over at Liam.

"Daddy," Liam said, his eyes lighting up. "You're back."

"I am," Jay said picking his son up, supporting him effortlessly in his right arm.

"Can we go eat?"

"Of course we can."

"What's that?" Liam asked of Officer Roman's bulletproof vest as he stood next to them.

"It's kind of like a shield." Jay explained.

"Like Captain America?"

"Yeah, exactly like Captain America," Hank said.

"Do you have one Daddy?"

"I do."

"Then you have to wear it all the time. Promise?"

"I promise," Jay agreed.

Liam hugged Jay, his little arms around Jay's neck, "I still have your badge Daddy," Liam said pulling away and proudly showing that he still had the badge hanging around his neck. "And my car too," he said opening his hand.

"And I still have your army man." Jay said digging it out of his pocket and showing his son. "And I have you."

"And I have you," Liam mimicked, giggling.

Everyone and everything had come back together, and with a huge sigh of relief, they all headed out for dinner with french fries.

A week later ~

"Grandpa!" Liam said as Jay pulled him out of the car and set him on the sidewalk in front of his old house. Pat looked over from the porch and smiled as Liam proudly showed him his attire. "I'm wearing my White Sox shirt you got me and look what my dad got me." He said pointing to his new black cap embroidered with the white stitching that said Sox.

"Very nice," Pat said quizzically as he looked at his son.

"I wanted to protect his face from the sun." Jay said concerning his equally fair skinned son. He didn't think Liam's Cubs hat would have gone over very well.

"Well, great choice."

"Hey, please don't feed him a bunch of garbage," Jay asked.

"We're going to the ballpark—that's all they serve. A hotdog won't hurt him."

"He won't eat it," Jay stated recalling previous hotdog attempts as well as Liam's reaction at Erin's concerning Oscar the dog being named after the hotdogs. But his father just shook his head so Jay looked at Liam. "Hey bud, do you eat hotdogs?"

"No, Mommy says they're yucky."

Pat barely caught himself before he let slip that Liam's mom wasn't here. "No hotdog? You're a fourth generation Chicagoan, it's your birthright." But Liam just shrugged. "Well, maybe a big pretzel then."

"Yeah," Liam said, his eyes big, "and a soda or a slushee—a blue one."

"A pretzel and a water," Jay amended.

"I think we can swing the soda," Pat said quietly as he winked at his grandson, who smiled as Jay rolled his eyes. "He's my grandson, let me spoil him once in awhile."

"When do I need to pick him?" Jay asked, giving in.

"I'll text you when we leave the stadium," Pat said.

"Okay. That sounds good."

"Thank you," they both said at the same time causing a brief awkward silence.

"I'll pick you up later," Jay promised. "Be good and listen to Grandpa."

"I will," Liam promised.

"Hold his hand and stay with him," Jay told Liam. "Dad, don't take your eyes off of him."

"We'll be fine," Pat promised.

Jay squatted down, "come here and give me a hug," he said opening his arms that Liam quickly filled. "I'll see you later."

"Okay," Liam nodded before he turned and walked back over to Pat.

As Jay got back into the car he could hear his father, "what do we say at the game?"

"Let's go Sox," Liam yelled.

"Thatta boy!" Pat praised. Jay wondered where this camaraderie and soft touch was all those years ago when he needed it. But he was grateful that Liam was on the receiving end of this sudden emergence of tenderness.

Jay got in the car and as he drove he thought about how much he missed his own mother. She would have loved being a grandmother. The times she had held Liam had brought her so much peace. He had one picture in his wallet of the two of them together. Liam was still an infant and would never remember her, but he knew she treasured the moments of her last days knowing that she had a grandchild, and that Jay had become a father.

He wiped his eyes as he drove over to Bridget and Liam's old apartment. There was no way he could afford to pay for another months rent as Liam's daycare bill was astronomical, now that he was out of school for the summer. He had found a nice center where fieldtrips abounded all summer long—at an increased cost of course. But he had read glowing reviews, toured the facility, spoken to other parents who entrusted the care of their children to the provider and was secure in the knowledge that all the rooms had webcams if Jay had wanted to download the app and check on Liam anytime during the day. The one downfall was they closed at 8:00 which was much more generous than many of the other centers, but still too early on many nights. He did find a college student that lived across the street from their current apartment that was home for the summer and was always home by 7:00 pm. from her day job, but wasn't always around on the weekends. He kept running down babysitting leads like he hunted for leads on the job. Erin was helping him find a new apartment in a family friendly area with good schools and was somewhat affordable. He had no idea it would all be so complicated.

As he unlocked the door for the last time he looked around in what had been Liam's home since he was a year old. It was simple and comfortable. Jay had already gotten all of Liam's things moved into his apartment except for the bed and dresser, both of which he already had. After getting all of the kids stuff into Jay's apartment it left no doubt that they needed a bigger place—it was wall to wall toys.

Jay walked through the place, only Bridget's items remained. He had spoken to her employer and they said they could easily donate the furniture and clothing items to those who could really use it. Jay opened and closed the cabinets and found a plate and bowl set that had a cartoon on it and set them aside to take with him—like Liam needed anymore crap. He then went into the living room and checked to make sure he had gotten the pictures of Liam off the wall. He looked at the bookcase and saw a large coffee table book and went over and plucked it off the shelf to see that it was pictorial story of Ireland. The pages showed blue water and emerald countryside. He checked each page, but no X's marked the spot, no city was circled, no hearts were drawn near any of the descriptive paragraphs. He debated about taking it—something for Liam to look at, but what would he say to his son—this is where your mother is from—maybe? So he decided to leave it behind. He went into Liam's room which was devoid of everything but the furniture—Lincoln Logs, Duplo blocks, cars, trucks and trains all packed up and relocated. But as he turned to leave he saw the plate that they had painted on Kindergarten craft night. It held remnants of the three of them together, splashes of paint, given by each hand. Bridget's steady hand lending itself to the stripes that adorned much of the edge, her perfect heart in the middle. Jay's offering had been blue paint smudging that perfect heart, now not as pure as if he had invaded and tainted everything. Liam's narrow and broad stripes finished the outer ring of the plate. Part of Jay wanted to leave it behind and the other part wanted to smash the damn thing. But he carefully pulled it and the hanger from the wall and put it with the other items in the kitchen to take with him.

Then he went to Bridget's room and sighed. He had checked in and under things on his last tour of the place in the hopes of finding some kind of proof that this woman had actually existed—that Liam hadn't just appeared on the planet—some kind of offering from the great beyond. But his search yielded no photographic evidence or proof that Bridget O'Brien had ever been—or ever been here anyway. He knew the one picture that he had managed to manufacture a few months ago would be his only keepsake. He was more grateful than ever of the assignment that he initially had internally groaned about, but put him in the right place at the right time with right equipment to afford him the luxury one last and constant look.

Now, in her private space he looked through her dresser, nightstand, books and even under the bed, but it yielded nothing. The only personal items in here were generic clothes. He opened the closet and touched everything that was hanging there, closing his eyes, as the fabric nuzzled his skin. She had been real and for a very brief time had been his. He laid back on the bed, his arms and legs splayed out as if he was going to move them back and forth like a snow angel. He looked up at the ceiling and recalled the nights he had spent there, in this apartment, in this bed, with her body so close yet her soul so far away. She was like a touch, brief and tentative —leaving you to wonder if it ever existed at all.

Soundtrack:

Lora Lie Lo Patty Gurdy