Kyle sighed as he walked down the dimly lit street, burrowing his hands deeper into his pockets as the brutal winter wind whipped snow around them.
"Why did I let you talk me into this?" He sulked, already wishing he was curled up in his bed with a good book instead of outside in the freezing cold. "I don't want to go to a Christmas party. I don't wanna go to parties ever, but especially not if Stan's gonna be there."
"Dude, you just don't get it," Kenny replied exasperatedly. "That's exactly why you have to go. It's high time you two fruitcakes made up already, and Stan's already tried."
"He doesn't-"
"I know. You've told me a bajillion times, 'he doesn't get it,' 'he doesn't know what's wrong,' 'he has it easy.' C'mon Kyle, you don't honestly think that, right?" When Kyle didn't reply, Kenny just sighed, scratching his head as he added, "Look, much as I love you guys, this pretty much sucks. I don't wanna keep comforting your depressed asses so you're going to the goddamn party, Kyle. You just gotta talk to him, that's all. He always forgives you anyway."
Kyle didn't answer, instead quickening his pace despite the frost stinging his nose and bare cheeks. At this point, he just wanted to get there and get this over with so he can go back to the safety of his home. Kenny had a point after all, it was unfair to him to make him have to choose between them both.
Arriving at Craig's house, the two boys walked up the front steps and opened the front door. Kenny started to pull his shoes off in the doorframe, but Kyle paused for a moment to look around. As people noticed who had just shown up, the chattering died down. Kyle grabbed Kenny's shoulder and shook it, an abrupt sense of wrong filling him. Kenny looked up to see the same thing and frowned, blue eyes hardening as he opened his mouth to say something, only to be cut off by a loud jeer coming from the middle of the party.
"There he is!" someone crowed and the crowd parted to reveal Cartman standing there like he'd just won the lottery. "The fairy himself!"
"...what?" Kyle asked finally, trying to focus on his confusion rather than the fear that was bubbling up in his chest.
"Aw, c'mon, stop acting dumb you fucking fruit! You're here to have makeup sex with Stan, right?!" Cartman yelled, laughing cruelly as he pulled Stan over to him from the shocked audience. Stan, who was now staring at Kyle as if he'd grown a second head. "Oh wait, I forgot! Aw man, it's the best part too; you're the only one in love!"
And suddenly it all made sense. The insults didn't bother Kyle as much as the dawning knowledge that Stan knew. And there was only one way Cartman could have known about that. "You… you didn't…" Kyle whispered, asking more out of desperation since he already knew the truth.
"Y'know, you really should be more careful about who you're telling that shit to and where," Cartman drawled. "Not that I'm complaining, this is hilarious! Tell me Kahl, are you a fudgepacker or a pillow-biter? Pillow-biter, right? I mean, you're so fuckin girly already!"
"Shut up, Cartman," Stan muttered, shoving his arm off of his shoulders. The brunette looked embarrassed and angry and Kyle started to wonder why he was even still standing there. Cartman only laughed harder.
"Oh, this is rich! All these years I teased you about this and to think it was actually true?! You seriously have a fucking man-crush on Marsh! What kind of pathetic loser are you?! God, you're a total nancy! I don't think I've ever been happier in my life!"
A few other kids at this point have started trying to drag Cartman away, others staring at Kyle in disgust, while most are just pitying. Kyle doesn't really care that he's just been outed to the entire senior class; it sucks but he isn't the first guy to come out. He doesn't even give a shit about all the name calling; it's Cartman, the fatass has said worse. None of that matters. As Kenny leapt on Cartman, fists clenched tight and anger seething from every pore of his body, Kyle just stood there in shock as time seemed to slow down.
He looked up from where he was staring at his feet and instantly met Stan's gaze. Kyle couldn't tell anything from the look his former best friend was giving him but he can't bear it any longer. Just as he felt his shoulders start to tremble, Stan took a step towards him and Kyle just turned and ran.
Ignoring Stan's cries after him as they grew further away, he tore out of the house and onto the street, feet slipping on the ice that had started to form before the roads were salted. The snow pelting his face was purposefully ignored as he ran as fast as he could. It was hard to tell whether his vision was blurred because of the icy wind buffeting him or because of tears he'd probably been holding back for years now.
"Kyle!"
Throwing a tenuous glance behind him, Kyle was only half shocked to see Stan chasing after him, hand over his eyes to shield them from the snow as he chased after Kyle- who just ran faster. 'Why?' he thought desperately, trying to speed up. 'Why is he following me? I don't want to hear what he has to say. I don't care anymore. Everything's ruined. He knows that.'
"Kyle, please wait!"
"No!" It came out more as a sob than a cry.
Hearing that, Stan's eyes narrowed in determination. Kyle might be fast, but he wasn't the one who played sports all through high school, and Stan was confident he could catch him. Step after step, his stride grew longer as he decided to just ignore the ice altogether and reached out. His fingers brushed against the orange coat Kyle wore and they were both running one moment, pitching to the side the next. Kyle was tackled to the ground and the two landed in a snowdrift on the side of the road.
The only thing Kyle was faintly glad for was that he was facing away from Stan, and even as the snow seeped through his clothes and Stan's grip on him tightened as if he'd try to run again, he didn't move. Kyle wasn't sure if it was that he didn't or that he couldn't.
He could hear Stan sifh quietly behind him. "Kyle, I-"
"No!" he yelled suddenly, clapping his hands over his ears. "No, I don't want to hear it! No apologies, no 'we can still be friends', no lying, don't you dare lie to me Stanley Marsh!"
"Kyle, please-"
"I said no! You hate me now, don't you?!" his voice cracked on that last part, "I know you do! I spent so fucking long trying to hide this from you and that fucking fatass went and ruined all of it in one fucking night! Now what am I supposed to do?!" Kyle laughed bitterly as he sat up suddenly to glower down at Stan, angry tears glistening in the street lights. "Guess I better start looking for new friends, huh?! Kenny's got Butters and you hate me and now-"
His rant was broken off sharply when Stan shot up to grab his shoulders again, yanking him in close to press his lips firmly against Kyle's.
Kyle has no idea what is going on. Stan is… kissing him? No, but wait, that was impossible, he'd never do that- but he was. The feeling was the same as their first three years ago, the same lips that were softer than he'd expected, the same divot on the left of Stan's upper lip from when he'd slipped on the stairs, the same warmth that felt like it was filling Kyle to the brim.
"If you'd just listen," Stan said breathlessly when he finally pulled away. "Cartman hasn't ruined everything. Really, Kyle. Nothing is ruined. Things might actually be- be better."
"...what the fuck do you mean by that?" Stan shifted slightly, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. No, surely that was just from the cold; there was no way Kyle could make Stan blush.
"Uh, well, remember Clyde's party back in freshman year?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, I…" Stan's expression shifted to one of guilt as he muttered, "I-I didn't really forget. About anything."
"Wait so- you lied? You lied to me?! Wait, wait, that means-"
"Yeah. I remember that I… that I kissed you. While I was drunk." Before Kyle could say anything, Stan quickly stammered, "But I didn't say anything because I was scared you'd be freaked out! I mean, who kisses their best friend, drunk or not? I didn't think I was gay- n-not that I am! I mean-"
"Stan!" The brunette froze mid-rant to stare at Kyle. "Stop freaking out, I - God, this is so fucked - just… just explain. I don't give a shit if you're gay; what do you mean by 'scared'?"
"I… Look, I was scared you'd not wanna be my friend anymore, okay? That you'd be way too weirded out by what I did, even if I was drunk and when I thought about it, I didn't know what I'd do without you by my side. I mean, you've always been there for me and I'm not sure when, but I think I eventually started… needing you there. I needed you with me. That's why I got so upset when you said you might not go to LSU; it's like I can't do anything without you, but I'm sure Kenny told you that. I even broke up with Wendy. No matter how great she can be, she's just… she's second best compared to you. She always have been."
"...Come on," Kyle sighed, getting to his feet and shivering as he held out a hand to Stan to help him to his feet. This was too much to take in, happening way too fast. Stan took his hand and the two stood there for a few seconds in silence before Kyle finally said, "Do you mean that? Like, really mean that, Stan? Because this isn't the first time that you've freaked out and come to me after you and Wendy break up-"
"That has nothing to do with this, Kyle. Well, it does, but this time is different. Really."
"Bullshit."
"Kyle, I'm not lying!" Stand sounded almost desperate now as he reached out to grab Kyle's arm. "I'm really not! I get that it's hard to believe, but really, I'm not sure when, but my feelings of friendship towards you changed a long time ago! Kyle, I think I-"
"Stop."
"What? Why?"
"Just, I-I can't. I can't Stan, I can't let you do this to me." Kyle yanked his arm away and held his wrist as if Stan's fingers had burned him. "You have no idea how hard it's been for me all this time; how I've had to just sit back and watch as you got back together with Wendy over and over again. How you'd come crying to me and I'd think 'maybe this is finally it,' only for you to be back together a week later."
"Kyle, like I said, I was scared-"
"How do you think I felt?! How scared do you think I was waiting for you that day, to see if you remembered anything or not?! How scared do you think I felt knowing what happened and knowing that I should never tell you?! It was terrifying!" He stepped back again and Stan's arm instantly shot out to keep from running away.
"Stop it," Kyle snapped, yanking his arm back. "I'm not going to run, not anymore. But I'm not going to let you get my hopes up either."
"Kyle, please, that's not what I'm trying to do. Really, I swear. Everything I've said to you is the truth. You know I don't lie to you."
"Oh really? You just lie about kissing me for three fucking years, is that it?"
"No, that's- I didn't know you liked me! I thought it was the right choice!"
"Well maybe you should've asked me!" It sounded ridiculous, even to Kyle. He knew where Stan was coming from, could understand why he'd lied about it, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt less. "You're just saying this anyway, it's not like you actually-"
Stan leaned in and pressed their lips together for a second time, cutting off Kyle mid-rejection. When the redhead doesn't immediately push him away, Stan took the chance to slide his tongue into Kyle's mouth.
Now Kyle had never had a real, actual girlfriend before, not since Rebecca Cotswold in third grade and a very brief two week thing with Bebe back in eighth grade when she'd just wanted to use him to make Clyde jealous, so he doesn't really know how to kiss. That being said, Stan definitely knows how to kiss, after dating Wendy on and off for almost nine years. Kyle isn't sure if it's Stan's technique or just Stan himself, but the kiss honestly could not be more perfect. It's everything he'd imagined it would be: Stan's tongue twisting around to flare every nerve inside his mouth, their teeth knocking just enough to make it endearing rather than clumsy, lips warm and soft with just the slightest taste of mint to them.
When Stan finally pulls away, Kyle's knees have gone weak and he has to grab onto the brunette's arms to keep from staggering to the ground. Stan easily holds him up, seeming to either not notice or not mind the embarrassment that Kyle is sure is steaming out of his ears right about now.
"What was that?" he finally rasped out, unable to think of anything else to say.
"That was my proof, Kyle." Stan bends down just the slightest bit so he can look into Kyle's green eyes, one of his hands reaching up to brush against his cheek. "I can't kiss someone I don't love. I won't. And you know that because-"
"Because you've told me before," Kyle breathed, remembering back in sophomore year when Stan refused to kiss Red under the mistletoe at a Christmas party. He'd said it was because he didn't love her, and that kissing anyone he doesn't love just felt wrong to him. Red hadn't been too happy about it, but Wendy had been overjoyed. Kyle had just felt jealous.
"You know, that's part of why it hurt so much," he said quietly. "Because it felt like you were saying you didn't love me when you said you didn't remember."
"That isn't true," Stan admonished instantly, grabbing Kyle's hands and bringing them up to his lips to press a chaste kiss to the redhead's fingers as he said, "I loved you then, and I love you now. Maybe I haven't always loved you the way you love me, but I do now. And I'll spend the rest of forever making it up to you."
"...and you really mean that."
"Really and truly."
Feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, one that had been accumulating for years and years, Kyle breathed a massive sigh of relief as he looked up to meet Stan's startlingly blue gaze. "God, I love you," he murmured, his words tickling Stan's ear as he leaned in to hug the taller boy as tight as he could. "I've waited so long and I can finally say it now, huh? I love you. I love you so much, Stan."
"Me too. More than anyone else, Kyle." Stan nuzzled against Kyle's neck and he felt like he was going to start crying. "More than I ever have before."
"Yeah." Kyle said, his voice cracking. "Yeah."
Stan tucked a hand under his chin and tilted Kyle's head up to meet his. Their noses brushes together gently as Kyle's eyes travelled to Stan's lips and a second later they were kissing again, fast and hard and almost violent in its potency. Kyle kissed like he'd never get a chance to again and Stan kissed him like a well-practiced expert who'd been waiting years for this one moment, where all his practice would culminate into a furious intensity.
"What do you say we head home then?" Stan murmured as they broke apart. "I think we have a lot to talk about."
"Yeah. Yeah I agree." Kyle took a few steps forward then stopped, face turning red as he hissed out, "Stan," and grabbed his friend's shirt. "We have a problem."
"What? What is it, what's wrong?"
Stan's voice was laced with alarm, which made it all the more embarrassing when Kyle stammered out, "I-I'm hard."
Silence stretched between this just long enough for it border on awkward before Stan barked out a sharp laugh, quickly dissolving into a fit of guffaws much to Kyle's shame.
Shoulders still shaking as Kyle smacked at him furiously, Stan laughed as he said, "Then I guess we'd better hurry."
It took three people to pry Kenny off of Cartman, who fought them the whole way. Kenny didn't normally get so angry, and his strength came as a surprise.
"Fuck you, Cartman!" he roared, tugging in Craig and Token's grip as he tried to get in one last punch. "You have no fucking idea what you just did! Why the hell do you have to try so goddamn hard to ruin Kyle's life, huh?! What the fuck did he do to you?! Neither of them deserved what you said, you asshole; what the fuck?!"
"Because!" Cartman shrieked abruptly, holding a hand over his swollen left eye, right one glaring daggers at Kenny. "Those two fags always got everything and didn't even have to fucking work for it! Maybe if they weren't so fucking needy all the time, I wouldn't care as much! So what if I wanna see them suffer half as much as I fucking did! You guys only hung out with me because I lived on the same goddamn street; I ain't stupid and you pricks weren't subtle! It's only fair they hurt some too!"
Realizing almost everyone is staring at him in shock, Kenny included, he stopped ranting and crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive manner as he proclaimed, "Besides, it's not like this'll actually be bad for them anyway. Like I said, I ain't stupid. You're not the only one who saw how they looked at each other. I was just pissed they didn't fucking realize it. It was getting real fucking annoying."
Cartman shouldered people aside to clear a path to the door. Kenny, unsure of what to do at this point, took a step forward. "Cartman, I-"
"Oh, shut up, fag. Go comfort your little faggy boyfriend he looks like he pissed himself," Cartman drawled with a roll of his eyes. Butters blushed, embarrassed.
"I did not!" he cried as Kenny shot a glare at Cartman.
"Don't tease Butters, or I'll go for round two, fatboy."
"Oh whatever. Screw you, I'm going home." He paused at the door, staring back to make eye contact with Wendy, who stood unsurely near the back, holding a first aid kit. "You coming, bitch?" She looked at him in shock, before glaring back. It didn't matter that everyone could see the fondness in her eyes, because clearly those two didn't care at this point.
"Yeah, fatass, just let me grab my bag." And with that, the two of them strode through the front door, heading in the direction of Cartman's house. As the group of partygoers watched them go, having pretty much forgotten entirely about Stan and Kyle at this point after everything Cartman just said. Kenny sighed, leaning back against the wall. Butters was by him in an instant, fretting as he looked him over frantically.
"Are you okay, Ken? Any bruises? Cuts? Y-you didn't hit your head or-" Kenny cut Butters off as he leaned in and kissed him, enjoying how the smaller blond seemed to melt within his arms. Wrapping an arm around him, he grinned.
"I'm perfectly fine, don't worry." As the party slowly resumed around them, murmurs and rumors already spreading like wildfire as some people stepped aside to phone other absent friends of the news. The fact that at least one new couple now existed was going to be all over school by Monday. Kenny started to lead Butters towards the door, decidedly having enough of whatever it was that night had been for him.
"Hey, where're you going?" Craig called after them in irritation. "You fuckers aren't skipping out on cleanup duty like always, are you?"
"Well duh." Before Craig could get pissed, Kenny quickly added. "Someone's gotta be prepared to talk people through this stuff tomorrow, right? And you sure as hell don't wanna have anything to do with it." Craig seemed to think about it for a second before waving them off with a flip of the finger.
"We goin' to my place, Ken?" Butters asked as they left the house, the winter air biting into their skin as they pulled closer together.
"Damn straight," the bigger blond agreed, shivering in the snow. "The heat ain't on at home, don't wanna turn into an ice cube."
"Well then I'd just hold ya until ya get warm enough." It took everything Kenny had to not make a raunchy joke when faced with Butters' adorable innocence.
"Goddamnit, Butters," he muttered, kissing his forehead before rubbing against him as they walked down the street, arms laced together.
"You're a good friend, Kenny," Butters said quietly. "They know that."
"They better! Seriously, the things I do for these goddamn people. If I didn't have you, I don't know if I could take it. You're my little ray of sunshine, Butters." The boy smiled up at him, apparently happy with that description.
"Well I ain't goin anywhere, Ken. We gotta stick together, after all."
"Yup. But damn, with everything else going on, you'd think we're the normal ones in all this."
"Well, uh, I guess we sorta are."
Kenny pulled Butters even closer to him, reaching around to the boy's opposite side to shove his hands into Butters' coat pockets, holding him tightly against his chest as they walked, He smiled, looking up at the night sky as the snow spiralled down around them in soft flakes. Even though the clouds covered them, Kenny was sure the stars above were glowing brighter than ever. It was winter, after all. Thing always seemed brighter then.
'And hopefully,' Kenny thought, 'tomorrow will be the start of something better than whatever the hell it was that those two had before.'