Joe's Note: I wanted to do a Harry Potter crossover for this chapter, but couldn't decide who to have Cordelia go as. So I tweeted Charisma Carpenter to ask her favorite character from the series - had a nerd fail there because she evidently lives in a cave on Mars and has never read the books or seen the movies - and copypasta'd it to Amber Benson because… well, she happened to tweet right as I was sending out the message to Charisma. Shock of shocks? She replied too. Turns out that Amber's a Luna fan. And so while I know it violates canon rather badly by bringing Tara to Sunnydale two years ahead of schedule… I couldn't help myself.
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Alexander, Howard, Alonsis2, Connor, MJ, Daniel, Christopher, Janne, Eric, DireSquirrel, Joseph, mpop, RileyWestfall, bloodylord, Luke, Zachary, Marc, Ziryo, Elliot, Crusifikz70, Timothy, Leigh, Jason, Chris, George, Koby, Ken, Dimitria, William, Invernos, Paul, Pat, Joel, Kentucky Fried Dragon, Warren, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

Staring up at the ceiling of her bedroom, Cordelia Chase absently extended her right arm out to the side and cast the one wandless spell her possessor from the previous night was competent with, calling her wand to her hand. And as she lay there, fingering the delicate pattern of raised vines that covered the ten and three-quarter inch long vine wood stick, the brunette found herself wondering when exactly it was that her life had fallen off the tracks and crashed into the world of the weird. Granted she knew the whole series of events that had brought her to this point, but what was the official point of no return?

Had it been when she'd been stupid enough make the bet with Xander? Or when she'd decided to throw the quiz they were betting on because she'd had no idea what to dress as for Halloween and figured he'd have a good idea for her? When she'd failed to put her foot down at the dorkism that he'd forced on her? Or had it only been when some kind of magic spell turned her into the girl she'd dressed as for Halloween, and she would have had a perfectly normal - albeit embarrassingly geeky - night if not for Ethan Rayne?

Cordelia continued to lay there fingering the wand as her thoughts turned to it. She already knew that she'd kept Hermione Granger's magical ability even after the end of the spell that had allowed the witch to possess her; the fact that she'd been capable of calling the muggleborn's wand to her hand with a mere thought was proof enough of that. But the wand chose the witch and while she'd temporarily become the girl and now held her wand… she was most emphatically not Hermione Granger. Was she close enough, though, for the wand to recognize her as its owner? Would it fight her because it had been taken from its mistress without being won? Would it respond to her at all? One way to find out, really. Propping herself up on one elbow, Cordelia pointed 'her' wand at the end of the bed. "Accio uniform sweater!"

A dark grey sweater came rocketing towards her and Cordelia fell back onto the bed with a grunt as she threw her free hand up to grab it out of the air… only to end up staring at the blue and bronze bands that encircled the sweater's wrist in confusion. Ravenclaw colors? But Hermione was a Gryffind- "I-if you're going to use a v-v-verbal incantation to shape your spellcasting, Cordelia, it needs to be specific. They may just be mn-n-nemonics to help focus your power but if you can't even ask your magic to do the right thing, you certainly won't get the right response f-from it." Pulling her wand out from behind her ear, Tara Maclay gestured to the open doors to Cordelia's walk-in closet. "Especially with h-how many clothes you own, you need to be precise or you won't get what you want. Like this: accio Cordelia's Gryffindor sweater."

"You do remember that Hermione sat through that lesson a year before Luna did, right?" Dropping Tara's sweater, Cordelia snatched her own out of the air and quickly dragged it under the covers with her so she could tug it on. After buttoning it, she squirmed up the bed a bit, moving to sit with her back against the headboard and her very naked lower half hidden beneath the covers. "But the thing is, I don't wear a uniform to school and I wasn't entirely sure you weren't just part of a really weird dream fueled by years and years of memories of Hermione cheating on her husband with Luna. So in my mind, 'uniform sweater' seemed specific enough to me."

Tara let out a soft hum of agreement before sitting up in bed, flicking her wand and wordlessly summoning several other pieces of her costume before shrugging on her blouse. Instinctively averting her eyes as Tara dressed, Cordelia soon found that she couldn't help but glance at the blonde out of the corner of her eye. Well, as far as unwanted magically-induced lesbian flings went, it could have been worse, Cordelia consoled herself. While ranking below the pair socially thanks to a particularly catastrophic encounter with Harmony on her first day at Sunnydale High, Tara was a good deal easier on the eyes than either Rosenberg or Summers. Although speaking of Harmony… Cordelia shuddered. Bedding her or one of the other Cordettes would have been an even bigger nightmare. Then she would have been stuck either facing the girl every single day or trying to force her out without being able to properly explain why. And most of them probably wouldn't have gone without a fight, which would have destroyed reputations all around and-

"W-would you like to take a picture?" Jerking as the unexpected question pulled her from her thoughts, Cordelia shot Tara a confused look and the blonde reached up to tap the tip of her wand against her temple. "You know, since p-pensieves don't actually exist. Preserve the memory and all."

Scoffing, Cordelia turned away from the blonde and began summoning some fresh clothes for the day to her… although how she was going to either dress or make it to her bathroom without giving the openly lesbian girl in her bed a free show was a mystery she'd yet to solve. "Pass. I'm not a member of the Rainbow Brigade like you, remember? I was just thinking that you were the least of the evils if this had to happen to me. Doesn't mean I would have chosen this - or you - if I'd had a choice."

"You could have chosen to kick me out of bed when you woke up in the middle of the night and found me here."

"In Sunnydale? Even I'm not that mean."

"Even before tonight, it wasn't like I was h-helpless. I would have been fine and you k-knew it."

"Yes, because I somehow knew that the mousy earth mother 'wiccan' who stutters every time a teacher calls on her was really the secret identity of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Not." Cordelia opted to conveniently ignore the fact that she could have punted Tara down the hall to one of the guest rooms, or even all the way to the living room couch. Because… yeah. She didn't really know why she hadn't done that. To distract herself, Cordelia looked down at the pile of clothes on her lap and then past them to the sheet. Tara was dressed, or at least dressed enough. So not only could the blonde not whine if she ran off with the top sheet, but there was no risk of seeing anything grimace-worthy while she was making her escape. "Mutare linteum." Unbidden, the spell slipped from her lips and Cordelia watched as the sheet wriggled and wrapped around her lower half, transforming into a pale blue Egyptian cotton skirt. Huh. Neat. It made her wonder what else she now had stuffed in her head, just waiting for a chance to be used. "All right, I'm going to go get dressed and then I can kick you out good and proper."

Not giving Tara a chance to reply, Cordelia slid off the bed and carried her clean clothes with her into the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, the brunette had enough time to undo the top button of her sweater before letting out a shriek of surprise as an ethereal, blue-white shape passed through the wall next to her, flying in a tight spiral around her body before alighting on the edge of the sink. The rabbit stared up at her, ears twitching, before opening its mouth and speaking with Tara's voice. "I don't even get b-breakfast first? M-Maybe a ride home? I think I deserve it for being such a good p-pillow last night."

Cordelia glared at the patronus before pointing at the door. While Hermione was familiar with the charm and its usage as a messenger, she'd never fully unlocked its secrets and Cordelia had no desire to find out the hard way that the caster could see through a messenger patronus's eyes. "First of all, the only reason you got turned into a pillow was because you were in the way of how I normally sleep. Second of all, I think there's still a box of Pop Tarts downstairs in the kitchen from the last time Maria tried going on strike and I had to make myself breakfast for a few days. Third of all… get out!"

"I guess this proves which side of your bed is the right one to get up on." The rabbit peered at the stack of clothes resting on the opposite edge of the sink before looking back up at her and offering what was undeniably a wink. "Black lace. S-s-sexy." Before Cordelia could even process that, much less respond, the rabbit turned and hopped through the door.

Sighing, Cordelia turned to face the mirror and then winced. Suddenly, she was very glad she'd thought to bring her wand when she retreated to the safety of the bathroom. Well, maybe 'remembered' was giving herself too much credit. Subconsciously included it with the bundle of clothing? Meh. Either way, it was a good thing she had it, because it turned out Hermione's magic wasn't the only thing she'd inherited from her fellow brunette. Her hand hovered over the wand for a moment and then she shook her head. "Shower first, rely on magic if shampoo, conditioner, and a bit of product fail me."

"Hmm. Not bad. Maybe I will keep you around. Could fire Maria and hire a maid who actually speaks English. Minimum wage, room and board, a stipend for decent clothes… what do you think?" The look Cordelia received in reply made it quite clear that Tara wasn't interested in a new after - and before - school job. Eh. Worth a try. After all, having a second wand around could have proven useful. Mass transfiguration of her wardrobe each time what was 'in' changed, for instance. Moving on… "Anyway, before I kick you out, I've got to know… Luna. Do you remember if she was serious about those snorkacks of hers? Or was she like, mind-fucking the entire cast of the series?"

Grinning like a cheshire cat, Tara added a bit of tabasco sauce to the scrambled eggs on her plate before tipping the entire reddish-yellow mess over onto a few strips of bacon. That accomplished, she began separating out mouth-sized bites of egg and bacon using her fork, creating little mountains of food all over her plate. "That… would be telling, w-wouldn't it?"

Cordelia groaned.