Joe's Note: I actually finished this before Rhyming Review Day but decided to withhold it because… well, I never know what to do with them. I try to answer all my reviews, but I feel like I should do rhyming responses or something and I suck at poetry. Moving on… this one is definitely an obscure crossover; I'm using a character from the Lair of the Shadow Broker DLC for Mass Effect 2. Unfortunately, Vanguards are few and far between in the Mass Effect franchise outside of the player character, assuming they take that class out of the six offered. So my choices were really Tela, Tela, and Tela. On the other hand, you guys did fairly well with Burai… so let's see how this goes.
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Alexander, Howard, Alonsis2, Connor, MJ, Daniel, Christopher, Janne, Eric, DireSquirrel, Joseph, mpop, RileyWestfall, bloodylord, Luke, Zachary, Marc, Ziryo, Elliot, Crusifikz70, Timothy, Leigh, Jason, Chris, George, Koby, Ken, Dimitria, William, Invernos, Paul, Pat, Joel, Kentucky Fried Dragon, Warren, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

Well, at least as far as freaks of nature went, she was a cute freak of nature. Reasonably cute? Not entirely hideous? Sighing, Cordelia Chase reached forward, her blue fingers brushing against the mirror as she took in her transformed visage. If she ever met the person behind last night's 'fun' - and she was sure there was a person behind it, rather than just random Sunnydale screwiness causing them to all change into their costumes for a few hours - she was going to kill them. Because seriously, if she'd known ahead of time that it was coming? She would have picked a much better costume. Xena. Wonder Woman. That Power Girl chick she'd looked up after overhearing Xander and Jesse debating what they'd dress her as if given the chance. A Jedi from Star Wars; their aliens weren't half-bad looking. Or, if alienness was a given, maybe something from the recent Star Trek movie?

But no, she had to end up getting transformed into a freaky blue chick with these pointy tentacle things instead of hair, no ears, and purple markings all over her face. Cordelia slowly drew her hand back before curling her fingers into a fist, an icy blue mass effect field springing up to envelop it seconds before she drove it into her mirror with a satisfying crash. Granted it didn't actually solve her problem - she was still a hideous freak - but at least now she didn't have to see it staring back at her anymore.

Until she went near another mirror.

Or anything else reflective.

This was what she got for being a girl of her word, Cordelia thought as she paced back and forth across her room. It had all started a little over a year ago, when she'd made - and lost - a bet with Jesse McNally, giving him the power to pick her costume for Halloween. He'd asked for permission to defer it to this year, wanting to give her plenty of time to perfect things. She'd allowed it because… she didn't remember anymore, honestly. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, though. When he'd died in March of this year, she'd debated throwing the whole mess away, or maybe selling what she'd gotten done so far on eBay to try and recoup some of the money she'd spent… but a promise was a promise, even to the corpse of a boy she hadn't really liked.

She really needed to start breaking her promises more, she decided.

As her pacing grew a bit more random, Cordelia bit back a curse as she stumbled over Tela Vasir's white, blue, and gold armor. Her first instinct was to rear back and kick it as hard as she could for daring to get in her way, but if it was still as real as her blue skin… she'd probably break her foot. After all, the little bit of Tela still inside her head reminded her, that armor was capable of stopping bits of metal moving faster than the speed of sound. It could definitely stop an irritated teenager's significantly slower and weaker foot but good.

And so instead, without knowing quite why she was doing what she was doing, Cordelia held her hand out over the Tela's breastplate. The icy blue glow of her biotics returned, and then the sizable and heavy piece of armor took on the same glow as it floated up off her floor. A flick of her wrist sent it flying across the room, hitting the carpet again and tumbling before coming to rest against her closet door as Cordelia watched with wide eyes. Biotics were good for a lot more than keeping her hand from being broken when she punched things, that little voice reminded her. It could make other things weaker, just as it had temporarily strengthened her. She could push objects away from her. Pull them towards her. Send explosive biotic pulses out in a line in front of her, clearing things from her path. Send herself racing forward in a nigh-invincible state. The possibilities, while not endless, were amazing. It almost made being stuck in her new blue state worth it.

Actually, no. It really didn't. Slightly more tolerable, maybe, but not at all worth it.

Her stomach growled and Cordelia reached down to rub it gently with one hand. The help would have to see her like this eventually, as would her parents. Might as well go find herself some breakfast. Looking down, the former brunette quickly amended that thought: find clothes, then find some breakfast. Showing up blue promised to freak people out enough. Blue and in her underwear? Heh, no. A quick mental tug yanked a t-shirt out of the top of her hamper, sending it flying across the room to her so she could snatch it out of the air. After all, Cordelia reasoned, it didn't make sense to put clean clothes on a dirty body. Dress, breakfast, shower, clean clothes.

Then Cordelia eyed the neck hole of her t-shirt. It hadn't changed. The size of her head had, on the other hand, thanks to her new asari head… tentacle… things.

Damn it.

"You know, I still can't decide if her doing this is sweet or disturbing."

"Disturbing. Then again, so are a lot of things Cordelia-related. Like the fact that you're dating her."

Buffy shook her head in amused resignation as she took another piece of popcorn from the bag she was holding before offering it to Willow. "Seriously, I know you two have had your issues - and her and I had some for a while - but can't you at least try and be nicer to her? For my sake? I'm nice to Amy, and it's her fault that I ran around town in just a raincoat while trying to jump Xander."

Blushing almost as red as her hair, Willow grabbed a handful of popcorn as another pulse of blue-white light illuminated the night, cramming it into her mouth and muffling her response. "S'not the same. Amy messed up once, and even that wasn't her trying to hurt you on purpose. Xander asked her to do that spell and she figured helping a friend of mine would score her points with me. Then… well, you know how that ended up working out. Cordelia's mean on purpose."

"Was. She was mean on purpose. She's trying her best to change. Which is why I need you onboard and being nice back to her. I mean, I can't exactly yell at her for being mean to you if you started it by saying something rude to her first." As Willow contemplated that, Buffy turned her attention back to her girlfriend, watching as Cordelia used her newfound powers to tear through the nightlife of Sunnydale. Not only because the pure violence of it appeal to the primal, Slayer-enhanced part of herself that Buffy tried to deny existed most of the time, but also because blue-white flares of light that accompanied the use of Cordelia's biotics were just plain pretty to watch.

Long, flickering blue and white streaks of energy highlighted her path as Cordelia charged back and forth across the graveyard, somehow managing to pass through any solid object that dared to get between her and her target. Balls of roiling icy blue light that could cause any number of effects when they hit their target: yanking them forward, throwing them backward, suspending them in midair, or even shredding them on impact. Oh, and the occasional giant crackling dome of power when she got overwhelmed in close quarters and sent out a pulse of power to knock all her opponents back. Seeing that last one was generally a sign that it was time for Buffy to get involved; the dome was powerful but took a lot out of Cordelia, leaving her vulnerable as she caught her breath. Still pretty, though.

Kinda like Cordelia.

That was one Buffy still couldn't figure out, and they'd been dating for three and a half months now - and sleeping together regularly for one of them. When had she started liking girls? Or, at a minimum, one girl in particular? At the time of Cordelia's change, Buffy had been dating a member of the opposite sex, even if things with Angel had been less than perfect at that moment in time, and had never so much as looked at another girl. Okay, that was a lie, she'd looked a tiny bit at this girl Claire who'd been on the Hemery High freshman cheerleading squad with her… but still. She'd never considered herself bisexual, much less lesbian.

And then Cordelia had gone and gotten herself turned into a pretty blue alien girl, and everything got weird on Buffy. They'd started talking a lot more, since Buffy spent several hours a night wandering the streets of Sunnydale and Cordelia could only go out at night. As a shared interest, Angel had been a frequent topic of conversation at first, only for that to decline as his relationship with Buffy disintegrated over his mix of half-truths and outright lies. Eventually the conversations had turned towards other things, both personal and mundane. They'd gotten to know each other. They'd liked what they'd found. And then… the kiss.

It would be all too easy for Buffy to try and blame it on the fact that she'd let Cordelia 'meld' with her several times before then, allowing the cheerleader turned asari to see into her mind and learn about vampires and demons far more efficiently than reading or Giles could teach her. Claim that Cordelia had done something to her that 'made' her gay, or that she'd taken knowledge from Buffy's mind that helped her seduce the blonde. Or maybe blame Willow for rubbing 'The Gay' off on her; the redhead had hooked up with Amy about a week before Buffy had kissed Cordelia for the first time.

But in all honesty… she didn't want to blame anyone. As strange as it was, Buffy was happy with where her life was at the moment. Confused about how she'd ended up there, sure, but happy. Thanks to her girlfriend's frequent appearances around the house, her mother had been forced to accept that maybe, just maybe Buffy had been telling the truth all along about vampires, demons, and her own role as the Slayer. Cordelia's presence on patrols made things far less dangerous for her on a nightly basis. And best of all? She didn't have to feel stupid for wanting to talk to Cordelia about… well, anything. If she wanted to talk about the latest fashions? Cordelia was there. An upcoming movie or some band's newest CD? Cordelia was down for that. Who was dating who at school these days? Damn straight Cordelia wanted to know.

Or at least she did when they weren't on the clock. When they were? Buffy watched as a body came bouncing across the grass towards them, Willow letting out a squeak as Cordelia lunged after it, plowing a glowing blue fist through the vampire's head and dusting it. When they were out slaying, Cordelia was a hundred and ten percent business. Mostly because - unlike with Buffy - it actually was business when it came to her. "Well, that's the last of my gigs for tonight. Is there anywhere in particular that Giles wants you to patrol?"

"Um, Sunnydale?" Buffy giggled at the sour look Cordelia shot her for that one, helping her girlfriend back to her feet. "But no, just 'go out and patrol and tell me what you kill'. Just all stuffy and British and using three times as many words as he needs to." Looking around the now empty graveyard, the blonde nibbled on her lower lip. "Any chance I can take credit for these? Because then we can call it quits for the night and I can still give him a stammer-worthy kill count tomorrow."

"I'd rather you not. If he starts pushing for information about some of the demons 'you' killed… yeah. Awkward." Cordelia ran her hands over her black leather pants, brushing off a few stray blades of grass. "Some of these guys weren't exactly the scourge of humanity. But while he's no Shadow Broker, Willy's a handy ally to have. So I do him a favor here and a favor there, and he feeds me information I can use to help you."

It took Buffy a minute to put all the pieces together, and then she frowned. So, Cordelia was playing mercenary - against targets Giles wouldn't approve of, at that - as a way of securing Willy's help. Well that just seemed silly, especially since she knew from firsthand experience that it was almost laughably easy to beat information out of him. "Oh. Gotcha. So… want to call it quits for the night and I'll just tell him I didn't find anything on patrol?"

Cordelia let out a chuckle at that, shaking her head in resigned amusement. "If you weren't trying to get out of doing work so you could spend more time with me, I'd so be complaining right now. Fine. Let's get Rosenberg home and then we can head over to my house."

As the blue-skinned girl turned and began walking away, Buffy nudged Willow in the ribs and the redhead let out a disgruntled sigh before calling out to Cordelia. "Would you like to walk with us? Maybe we can try actually talking to each other without exchanging insults? You know, for Buffy's sake?"

"Pass. Mostly because I know Buffy enjoys the rear view and I'll get something out of showing it off when we get back to my place."

Buffy blushed. It was true, but still.

Blush.