Joe's Note: And now we're entering the Kat and Cordelia Power Hour. Which is to say that while some of the stories before this featured Cordelia being paired with another character - and the Toph Bei Fong, Kara Zor-L, and Shaak Ti chapters have all been rewritten to incorporate Kat - all of the chapters from here until the end will feature Cordelia with Kat as a minimum. At least one will feature Cordelia with both Kat and another girl, possibly as many as three… but I'm having too much fun playing with Kat in Red, White, and Blue and Welcome to the Universe to leave her out of my new Cordelia-centric short stories. This particular story is going to sorta play off the hipster-esque bickering that I've seen on my Facebook since the release of Pokémon Go: while both Kat and Cordelia will have dressed as Pokémon trainers, their teams will vary wildly to reflect the fact that Kat has played all six generations of games while Cordelia downloaded Pokémon Go on her iPhone just to see what all the fuss is about. Enjoy.
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Alexander, Howard, Alonsis2, Connor, MJ, Daniel, Christopher, Janne, Eric, DireSquirrel, Joseph, mpop, RileyWestfall, bloodylord, Luke, Zachary, Marc, Ziryo, Elliot, Crusifikz70, Timothy, Leigh, Jason, Chris, George, Koby, Ken, Dimitria, William, Invernos, Paul, Pat, Joel, Kentucky Fried Dragon, Warren, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

"Do you think I could teach her to do tricks?"

"What, like sit? Stay? Give paw?"

"Well, I mean, nothing that basic but-"

Sprawled out on her bed with her back against the headboard, Cordelia Chase let out a soft snort as she watched her girlfriend idly stroke her Eevee's back as she thought. "Considering that you're the Pokégeek out of the two of us, sweetie, I can't believe I'm having to tell you of all people this… but they're smart enough to talk, even if all they can say is their own name over and over again. You can teach them a lot more than just, like, stupid pet tricks. I mean, check out what Princess Fluffybutt can do." Her Vulpix raised its head lazily at the mention, and Cordelia used her right hand to gesture in the direction of her walk-in closet. "Can you go get my Louis Vuitton purse for me? You know, the pink one that I use on Wednesdays?"

Kat McKee's jaw dropped as the Vulpix tipped sideways and tumbled gracelessly off the end of the bed, hitting the floor with a soft thump and padding off in the direction of Cordelia's closet. After rooting around for almost half a minute, she emerged with the strap of the aforementioned purse clenched between her teeth. Trilling proudly, Princess Fluffybutt dragged it all the way over to the bed and then leapt up onto the mattress, bringing the purse along with her. After preening for a few seconds at her accomplishment, the Vulpix promptly flopped down on top of her prize, curling up like the overgrown fire cat that she was. "…I'm not sure whether I should be impressed or horrified that you've had her for all of two days and she already knows what designers' names mean. On a similar note, kinda surprised you didn't name her Chanel or something."

"Are you kidding me? She is the epitome of Princess Fluffybutt. Look at that butt! Look how fluffy it is!" Cordelia waited a few seconds to see if her Vulpix would indulge her with one of her corgi-like butt wiggles, only to let out a sigh of disappointment as the Pokémon remained where it was. "She's also the one thing on this earth that's lazier than Harmony."

Snickering softly, Kat released her Eevee and watched as it padded down to join Fluffybutt near the end of the bed, looking inordinately proud of itself as it sat on the Vulpix's head. Or rather, it looked proud of itself for a few seconds before letting out a startled noise and jumping up as the smell of burning fur filled the room. "Oh my God, can you two not? That's the kind of smell that lingers for hours even with the windows open." Ignoring her, Eevee whirled and tackled the Vulpix… or rather, it tried to. Given that Fluffybutt was literally twice its size, the poor Eevee ended up slamming headfirst into the larger Pokémon's side, its body's momentum causing it to flip up and over the Vulpix before tumbling off the edge of the bed. "…you deserved that."

Cordelia burst out laughing as her Vulpix continued to lay there, completely nonplussed by what had just happened. "Oh my God, what a little asshole. Hey, none of your Pokémon have names. Can we call her Buffy? It totally fits: runty, unnecessarily aggressive, prone to doing really stupid things…"

"Pass. Mostly because it seems to like sleeping in my bed with me and… well, do you really want to hear about how I love snuggling with Buffy while I'm falling asleep?" Kat raised a challenging brow and Cordelia shook her head rapidly before shuddering. Not only was that a big fat no, but now that she thought about it? It promised to make for some truly awkward moments if overheard. "That's what I thought. I'll probably name them at some point, though. Once I get to know their personalities a bit better." The pair lapsed into silence for a bit, watching as a thoroughly disgruntled Eevee clambered back up onto the bed, giving Fluffybutt a wide berth as it made its way back up to flop across Kat's shins. Suddenly, Kat made an inquisitive noise, staring down at the Pokémon. "You know, at least until my knee heals? Eevee would make a pretty kick ass service animal."

That… in any other town, it would have been a terrible idea. Eevees were pretty obviously Eevees; only someone who was literally blind could possibly confuse one for a cat or a dog or any other real world animal. In Sunnydale? People would still notice, but they'd just shrug it off as part of the town's unending weirdness. "Speaking of your knee, how is that going? Obviously you're still walking with a cane, but do they have any idea how long you're going to be like this?"

"The doctor thinks that it's prepatellar bursitis, and thankfully it's just inflammation and not an infection or anything. On one hand, that means I don't need antibiotics or surgery. On the other, it means that there's nothing to do but ice it, rest it, and hope for the best." Shrugging off her girlfriend's concerned look, Kat gestured down at her Eevee. "That said? The less stress I put on it, the faster it'll heal. Which means the helper Eevee idea isn't a terrible one. Hmm. Eevee? I left my bag downstairs with my keys and wallet on top of it. Can you go get my wallet for me?" The brown, fox-like Pokémon stared up at her for a few seconds with a distinctly indignant look on its face, but eventually it scampered over to the edge of the bed and dove off. "That was a distinctly sassy look. I'm getting sassed by my own Pokémon. This is ridiculous. I bet Ash never had to deal with that."

"I only made it through one episode of that stupid show and even I know that is literally Ash's life with Pikachu like… all the damn time." Cordelia grinned as Kat snorted and cuffed her arm gently before shifting to kneel beside the brunette. Leaning forward, she rubbed Fluffybutt between her ears as her eyes wandering over to where the rest of her girlfriend's Pokémon had curled up in a giant multicolored pile of cute after being released from their balls. "I feel like this is probably going to lead to a nerd lecture that'll put me to sleep… but how come I only recognize your Eevee and like, two of the others? You can't be that far ahead of me in Pokémon Go, we play it together." Pausing, she narrowed her eyes as she looked back over her shoulder at Kat. "Or do we? Are you cheating on me with another walking buddy?"

That earned her a bark of laughter as Kat awkwardly crossed one leg over the other so that she could bump a foot against Cordelia's hip without unnecessarily stressing her injured knee. "Even if I had any free time outside of work, you, and sleep? Like hell I would spend it walking anywhere with anyone ever." Yeah, that had been a pretty stupid thing for her to suggest, Cordelia had to admit. Still. That didn't explain- "You don't recognize them because they're not in Pokémon Go. Yet, at least."

Oh. Right. The cartoon had featured three trainers with twelve Pokémon between them, and the only one that Cordelia had recognized from the game was Pikachu. Kat had patiently explained to her that the mobile game that Cordelia had gotten hooked on was merely the tip of an iceberg that contained - among other things - eighteen core games with two more releasing that month, nineteen seasons of a cartoon, and a bunch of other stuff that she didn't really care about. And that there were a lot more Pokémon beyond the ones they were catching on their walks, but Pokémon Go only included the species that were in Generation 1. AKA: stuff from the games that came out before Cordelia was born. "So then how do you have them?"

"Really good headcanon?" Kat shrugged, looking from Cordelia to the pile of cuddling Pokémon and back. "When I dressed up for Halloween, I pictured myself as being an all Eeveelution trainer because there's enough of them in the real games that you can have a team with six different ones. I only used Eevee, Jolteon, and Vaporeon on Halloween because after I realized that all of your Pokémon were from Gen 1, I was afraid that if I threw one of the other three balls, it would turn out to be empty. When I got home and Eevee popped out of her ball, I let Jolteon and Vaporeon out and then decided that I might as well see what happened if I opened the last three. Spoiler alert: they weren't empty."

Well obviously. Sliding off the edge of the bed, Cordelia made her way over to the Poképile, earning a couple of curious looks as she scrutinized them more closely than she had when Kat had let them out of their balls earlier. Jolteon. Electric fox thing. Vaporeon. Mermaid fox thing. Obvious naming convention. "So then you have Eevee, Jolteon, Vaporeon… and what? Veganeon, Faerieon, and Elsaeon?"

There were a few seconds of silence and then Kat burst out laughing, only to snort and clap her hands over her mouth in dismay. After composing herself, she let out a quieter snicker before finally responding. "Elsaeon?"

"I dunno, it looks like an ice-type Pokémon and that was the first thing to come to mind." Dropping to her knees, Cordelia gently petted the two-tone blue Pokémon, its cold skin causing her to shiver. Then something occurred to her and she peered back over her shoulder at Kat. "Wait. If that's the only one that you're picking on me for, does that mean I'm right about the other two?"

"Yes. The grass-type Eeveelution is called Veganeon."

"Really?"

"No. It's called Leafeon. Which isn't much better, but it's a kids game. Veganeon. Honestly." Kat scooted her way down to the end of the bed, gently petting Fluffybutt with one hand as she gestured with the other. "Leafeon is the grass-type, Sylveon is the trans flag Pokémon, and Glaceon is the ice-type. They also make Umbreon, Espeon, and Flareon. Dark, psychic, and fire-types respectively. I'm guessing that my Eevee will evolve into Umbreon or Espeon someday, because obviously there's no 'Eevee Candy' here in the real world to evolve it with and I was planning to give you the Fire Stone that I found in my bag so that you can use it on Vulpix."

To be honest, Cordelia had been wondering how they would power up and evolve their Pokémon without access to the various candies. Particularly Floppy, who she felt was destined for greater things than living in her family's koi pond. Training her Pokémon against each other - or against Kat's Pokémon - had seemed like an obvious way to help them get stronger, but if Kat had something that could make her favorite Pokémon even more awesome? Cordelia wouldn't say no. Except… "I've never actually evolved a Vulpix in the game. What do they turn into?"

Tugging her phone out of her pocket, Kat poked at it for a few seconds before turning it so that Cordelia could see. "Ninetails. It's basically a kitsune from Japanese folklore. Bigger, prettier fox." Oh hey. That was pretty. Really pretty. Yeah, Cordelia definitely liked where this whole 'evolve her Vulpix' thing was going. Before she could ask another question, a faint scraping sound caught both her and Kat's attention, making them both look over at the door as Eevee returned… dragging Kat's entire bag behind it, her wallet and keys still resting atop it. Which was especially impressive considering that there were two flights of stairs between the living room and her room. "Well, that's impressive. Means I can give you the Fire Stone now, though, before I forget."

Cordelia rose to her feet, making her way back over to the bed as Kat dug through her bag, emerging with a fist-sized red stone in her hand. "Ooh, pretty. Maybe we can sell it after… how do I use it?"

"I think you just need to touch it against Vulpix? They don't really appear that often in the anime, so- hey!" Kat's explanation was cut off by her Eevee jumping up, bumping its nose against the Fire Stone and causing both the stone and the Pokémon to glow white. They merged, Eevee's luminous form almost tripling in size before fading to reveal a red Pokémon adorned with tufts of yellow fur. The newly evolved Pokémon preened for a few seconds before jumping back up onto the bed and tackling Vulpix again, having much more success this time around as the two began growling at each other and rolling around atop the mattress. "…so much for that particular attempt at romance. Asshole Pokémon."

Eh. Vulpix was cuter than Ninetails anyway. Cordelia was okay with this particular outcome.

"It has begun. My destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected; I had this whole section on civic pride. But I guess we'll just skip to the big finish."

Cordelia rolled her eyes as Mayor Wilkins began to groan and squirm behind the podium, his face distorting as he transformed from a ridiculously mundane-looking human into a demonic snake. A demonic snake that quickly grew to outrageous proportions, towering over them all as he let out a loud roar of triumph. "Okay, so he's a little bigger than I thought he'd turn out to be, but I'm pretty sure we've still got this. Kat?"

Having made her way forward from where she'd been sitting with Cordelia's parents, Kat sidled up on Cordelia's right before shaking her head slowly. "I am pretty sure that we don't have this at all. Not in the least. Our Pokémon are great and all, but that's like… the equivalent of a legendary or something."

Her hand drifted down, brushing her graduation gown back so that Cordelia could pluck a Pokéball from her belt, spinning it playfully atop her finger as it enlarged itself to full size. Not long after that fateful Halloween, she'd dropped by the GameStop inside Paseo Nuevo and picked up a used copy of Pokémon HeartGold to stick into Kat's 3DS. While it hadn't inspired her to pick up a copy of Moon or Sun when it came out a week later, it had served two very important purposes for her. Firstly, it had given her a preview of what she'd had to look forward to in Pokémon Go that December with the introduction of the Johto Pokémon, including what had become her new favorite Pokémon: Marill. Adorable water-type Pikachu? Best. Pokémon. Ever. Secondly and more importantly… it had given her some insight into how the world of Pokémon worked so that she could make topical references at appropriate times. "Probably, yeah. Thing is? I don't know about you, but I've taken on legendary Pokémon with my regular ones before. And I've kicked their asses." Winding up, she hurled the Pokéball in the Mayor's direction. "Floppy, I choose you!"

"Why the hell would you-" Kat was cut off as the Pokéball popped open, releasing a luminous form far larger than anything else owned by either brunette. It stretched taller and taller, growing almost as large as the Mayor's snake form before finally resolving into a ferocious, blue-scaled serpent that let out a roar of challenge. "…holy shit."

Cordelia shot her girlfriend a smug grin before tilting her head back and staring up at her Gyrados. "I know, right? I was going to tell you that Floppy took a level in badass last week, but then I decided that it would be more fun to surprise you like this. Oh, and lucky for us? Floppy takes after his Pokémon Go siblings when it comes to what he knows instead of the real game versions." As understanding dawned on Kat's face, Cordelia took a step forward and thrust a finger in the Mayor's direction. "Floppy, use Hyper Beam!"