Joe's Note: For this chapter, I decided to break with the pattern that I've used for the last nine straight chapters… and actually step outside the greater overarching style that I've used for all seventeen chapters that precede this one. Mostly because the nature of the very specific costume variations that I'm choosing for this particular chapter require a bit of setup so that the post-Halloween payoff works properly. That, and there's really nothing in terms of Buffy canon events that I can then use to show off the exact nature of the change. Meaning that while I can think of ways that Harley and Ivy could easily be used to reimagine canon events, none of those ways would actually show off what makes my particular versions unique. And… well hell. Just read it and try to enjoy it.
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Alexander, Howard, Alonsis2, Connor, MJ, Daniel, Christopher, Janne, Eric, DireSquirrel, Joseph, mpop, RileyWestfall, bloodylord, Luke, Zachary, Marc, Ziryo, Elliot, Crusifikz70, Timothy, Leigh, Jason, Chris, George, Koby, Ken, Dimitria, William, Invernos, Paul, Pat, Joel, Kentucky Fried Dragon, Warren, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

"Just out of curiosity, do you remember when you told me that Suicide Squad Harley was an abomination because if she was going to be labeled as anyone's property, she should be Ivy's property because at least then DC could pass it off as a D/s relationship instead of it just being gross and abusive the way it is when Harley is with Joker?"

Looking up from the streaks of green paint on her forearm, Kat McKee blew gently on them as she stared up at her girlfriend warily from her spot on the floor of Cordelia's bedroom. "…that's a really long and oddly specific question, and the fact that you're asking me that has honestly got me a little scared. Where are you going with this, Cordelia?"

Cordelia Chase did her best to look nonchalant as she rocked back and forth on her toes, pressing a newly-arrived package against the small of her back. "So, um, I know you're working on a new Poison Ivy cosplay… hence the green and all. And that I was supposed to be Catwoman for Halloween so that you could wear it and we'd at least be coordinated even if we weren't doing a couples costume. But then I asked myself, why can't we do a couples costume?"

A loud groan escaped Kat as she tipped her head back, mouthing something silently as she stared up at the ceiling for a few seconds before meeting Cordelia's gaze once again. "You're hiding something and it's too small to be… well, any of Harley's costumes. What did you do, Cordelia?"

"I may or may not have downloaded some fonts, messed around a bit, and then uploaded the results to TeePublic." Cordelia waited a beat before pulling the white poly mailer out from behind her back and waving it. "Okay, I definitely did. And the shirts I bought are here." As Kat continued to stare up at her uneasily, Cordelia tore open the bag and pulled out the white t-shirt inside, letting the mailer and the shirt that remained inside drop to the carpet. Unfolding it, she spared a moment to make sure it was in fact her shirt before turning it to face Kat and holding it up proudly. "Tada! 'Mommy's Lil' Monster'! And the rest of the costume is on the way: shorts, 'Property of Ivy' jacket, a choker that says 'RED' in gold letters, hair ties with red and blue roses attached, that ugly chunky belt, a baseball bat with all the crap on it, the works. I'm going to be a queer as hell Suicide Squad Harley Quinn for Halloween!"

Dumbfounded, Kat's eyes bounced from the t-shirt in Cordelia's hands to the package on the floor and back several times, and then her eyes narrowed as she stared at the white polyethylene bag like it was a poisonous snake. "Why do I get the sinking suspicion that there's some sort of motherhood-themed shirt in that bag for me?"

Tossing her shirt over her shoulder, Cordelia dropped to her knees on the carpet and picked up the mailer, shaking out the other shirt that she'd designed. "I dunno, maybe you're really a late-blooming mutant and your power is to see the future?" Kat made an exasperated noise at that, following it up with a groan as Cordelia held the shirt up for her inspection. "What? I thought 'Mommy Nature' was witty. It's taking something that's already a thing and twisting it a tiny bit for the sake of our costumes."

Kat sighed as she took the shirt from Cordelia, eyeing it critically for a few seconds before looking back up at the cheerleader. "It's not bad. It's not great, but being 'Mommy Nature' for a night isn't terrible. I guess. It's kinda bland, though. You couldn't have added some vines and flowers to it, made the whole thing a bit more Ivy-esque? Especially considering that it's white text on a black shirt?"

"It took a little over a week from when I uploaded the image to when it arrived in my mailbox. I can totally make those changes and print a second version of it if you want." Kat shrugged noncommittally as her eyes returned to the shirt in question, and Cordelia scooted a bit closer. "So… do we have a plan? I mean, you were already planning to be Ivy anyway and I'm pretty sure a casual-ish Mommy Nature Ivy will be a lot more comfortable to wear to a party."

That earned her a strange look from her girlfriend followed by a slow shake of Kat's head. "You may be dating a cosplayer, sweetie, but I'm not Yaya Han or one of her friends. When it's done, my real Poison Ivy cosplay will be just as comfortable as whatever casual Ivy outfit you're cooking up for me to wear on Halloween." Oh. Well shit. And here she'd actually been proud of herself for coming up with a way to get what she wanted while simultaneously making her girlfriend's life better. "Well, almost as comfortable. I mean, the leotard rides up a bit in the back. My butt will probably be warmer as casual Ivy. And I'll be a little bit less self-conscious about wearing it…" Kat trailed off as she mulled that over, her brow furrowing in consternation as she thought, and then she finally let out an exasperated sigh before conceding defeat. "Okay, fine, your idea will probably be better for parties and hanging out than my convention Poison Ivy would be. Happy now?"

Cordelia offered a faint shrug before leaning over to her left, resting one hand on the floor for balance as she snagged a recycled Hot Topic bag from where it sat next to her dresser. While personally she still thought the place was an eyesore with very few redeeming qualities outside of their Pop! wall and the occasional cute new Steven Universe merchandise, their opaque black plastic bags certainly came in handy. "Considering I already bought the rest of your outfit for you? Ecstatic."

"I swear, I think I have more clothes here at your house than I do at mine… and I haven't brought any of mine over here yet." Taking the bag from Cordelia, Kat unceremoniously dumped the contents onto the floor between them so that she could sift through her new belongings. "Tights are a solid maybe. I mean, I'll totally wear them at some point but I was thinking of using Halloween to test drive the whole green skin thing. Nude tights would just look weird. Thanks, though." Fair enough. And Cordelia totally hadn't forgotten that Kat was planning to be a green Ivy. Honest. "Ooh, cute skirt. I feel like that's going to be a gift that keeps on giving after Halloween. And… suspenders in the same shade of green? Impressed that they match, but-"

"They're gonna make your breasts look awesome." Cordelia giggled at the exasperated look on Kat's face, eliciting a squeak from the brunette as she reached forward to cup Kat's breasts and push them inward a bit. "Like so. And I mean, you drool over my suspendery outfits all the time. Sometimes literally drool a little. I love admiring my own breasts as much as the next girl with a magnificent rack, but why can't I have some eye candy that's not attached to me?"

"I'd argue that the corsets and some of the dresses that you've bought me over the past few months count as a whole lot of eye candy that's not attached to you, but the outfit is cute enough that I really don't want to argue against it. So you'll get your 'suspendery' eye candy for Halloween." Kat offered a faint smile as Cordelia pumped a fist in the air and let out an exultant cheer, picking up the t-shirt for her costume again and eyeing it suspiciously. "Just out of curiosity, on a scale of one to ten, how much does our new couples costume have to do with you trying to warm me up to that Mommy Dom/little girl thing that you keep sending me links to Tumblr posts about?"

Cordelia didn't even need to think about the answer to that question. "Eleven."

Leaning back, Kat shook her head in resigned amusement. "You know, I try to be as supportive as I can when it comes to your kinks. Bought you the ball gag and cuffs you wanted, watched those videos on proper spanking technique, taught myself to stop apologizing whenever you cry out… but the whole MD/lg thing? That's just weird even by your standards. Also, as much as I hate to think about our age gap, can you even be into that sort of thing when you're not even technically an adult yet?"

"Evidently so because hey, here we are."

"Fair enough. Still weird."

"Hey Red?"

"Yes, Cordy? And I've gotta say, I still feel weird having a nickname based on a hair color that isn't really mine."

"Oh trust me, you're a natural redhead these days. I've checked." Cordelia offered her girlfriend a lascivious wink, bursting into peals of laughter as Kat gave a put upon sigh at her joke before returning her attention to what she was working on. Closing the distance between them, Cordelia snuggled up against the redhead's back and peeked over her shoulder. Yet another of the wooden 'benches' that she'd bought for Kat were being filled with seedlings that she couldn't identify. Same as an hour ago, and the hour before that, and the hour before that. While part of her could understand her girlfriend's need to make her new 'room' her own… "All work and no play makes Red a dull girl."

Kat turned her head to the right, giving Cordelia a quick peck on the lips before returning to what she was working on. "And play in the greenhouse results in dirt in places that Cordy would rather not have it." The blonde scrunched up her nose in disgust at the reminder of a mistake she'd made three times to date so far; her girlfriend had a very, very good point. "In all seriousness, what's up? You used your 'I need something but don't want to admit it' voice when you poked your head in here."

Really? She'd thought it had been more of a 'genuinely needy' voice. Cordelia shrugged before giving a faint tug on Kat's hair, waiting for the redhead to peer back at her again before nodding in the direction of the doorway that connected the newly built greenhouse to the rest of Cordelia's house. Technically her parents' house, but… semantics. They'd been nice enough to let Kat move in after Halloween's sudden onset of greenness made it difficult for the redhead to keep renting from her old landlord - or otherwise interacting with the general public - and were hardly ever there anymore. It was totally her house. Or maybe her and Kat's house? Their house. That had a nice ring to it. "It's dinner time. And since the hired help quit to a man after I caught two of them making fun of you for being green and broke out my mallet…"

One of Kat's slim red eyebrows rose incredulously at that. "You're expecting me to cook dinner for you even though I don't eat anymore?"

"Says the woman who ate literally all the grilled chicken off of my salad at lunch. And then sat there judging me for eating the salady parts of it."

"I've heard the screams of the vegetables."

"Yes, well, unlike you? I can't photosynthesize and so I actually need to eat well-rounded meals to make sure my body gets everything it needs to stay healthy." Giving another playful tug on Kat's hair, Cordelia took a step back, bouncing on her toes as her girlfriend sighed and gave up on getting anything more work done, turning to face her. "And if you cook me dinner, you can make an extra helping of meat for yourself so that you don't have to steal mine." Pausing, Cordelia snickered softly as something occurred to her. "Bet you're the only lesbian who actually wants extra helpings of meat."

Kat let out a long-suffering sigh and buried her face in her hands at that. "First of all? We've been over this a dozen times before, Cordy: I'm not a lesbian, I'm pansexual. Second of all? Eww." Lifting her head to reveal a face now smudged with dirt, she sighed again before gesturing toward the doorway. "Fine. Let's go get you some dinner."

Pumping her fist in the air triumphantly, Cordelia let out a cheer. "Yay, nummies!" Caught in the middle of taking her first step forward, Kat stumbled a bit and then pulled up short, staring at the blonde incredulously. Cordelia crossed her arms over her chest defensively as she pouted at the taller girl. "What? I'm not allowed to be excited about food when I'm hungry?"

"I was more boggling at the 'nummies' part. I may have Pamela's memories of Harleen saying it, but this is the first time that I've heard it from you." Taking Cordelia's hand in her own, Kat intertwined their fingers as she led the blonde into the house. "You know, sometimes I wonder if you knew that whole 'turn into your costume' thing was coming because the whole mess worked out ridiculously well for you. You're stronger, faster, and more flexible than you were before Halloween, and sorry if this hurts but… well, you're a lot smarter than you used to be even if you do hide it from most of the world. Oh, and you not only get a version of your girlfriend who's more comfortable with your fetishes but you get to move her into your house…"

Cordelia shook her head in amusement as she kept pace with the redhead, allowing herself to be led through the living room and then the dining room to enter the kitchen as Kat rambled on. When her girlfriend finally trailed off, she chuckled lowly before raising her free hand and rubbing two fingers together. "This is me playing the world's smallest violin for you. Oh no, your girlfriend is even more awesome than she was and you're now more comfortable doing something that makes her happy. What a fucking tragedy. Oh, and on top of that, you get to quit your job as a cashier at a grocery store and live rent-free in a mansion. Growing plants and doing experiments with your brand new, literally genius-level intellect. What a horrible life you lead."

Leaving Cordelia to hop up and perch herself on the kitchen island, Kat made her way over and set the oven to preheat itself before bending down to retrieve a pair of sheet pans from the cabinet next to it. "You're putting words in my mouth again. You know how I feel about that." Kat made her way back over to Cordelia, planting her hands on the smaller girl's thighs and giving them a squeeze before forcing them apart so she could stand between her girlfriend's legs. "I'm not one of your stupid little friends, Cordelia; you winning doesn't mean me losing. I wasn't complaining, I was just pointing out that you made out really well in this whole mess. But if you want to keep trying to pick a fight for no good reason…" Kat's hands rose to cup Cordelia's cheeks as the redhead leaned in, staring into Cordelia's eyes. "I can send you to your room to think about why that's a bad idea. With no nummies. Is that what you want?"

Her pout returned as Cordelia broke her gaze, staring down at her lap as she kicked her legs slowly. "No, Mommy. I'm sorry." Kat gave an almost imperceptible wince at that, causing Cordelia to look back up at her. "I need to give that part a little more time, don't I?" The redhead nodded slowly before pulling away, and Cordelia let her head loll to one side as she eyed Kat's retreating back. "Just out of curiosity, the aversion to that particular aspect of the fetish… is it because you never want to have kids, because your ex used to call you 'mom' when you tried to look out for her, or because it reminds you of our age gap?"

"Yes." Kat turned on the faucet and beckoned for Cordelia to join her as she began washing her hands in the kitchen sink. What? Why? She hadn't been the one playing in the… Cordelia reached up, running a finger over where one of Kat's hands had rested on her face and cringing when the fingertip came away brown. Oh. Eww. "Just like how you're not wholly Harleen but not wholly Cordelia anymore, I'm not Pamela or Kat McKee anymore. I'm… Kat Isley, for lack of a better way to explain it. And so while I completely understand little space and your needs from a psychological standpoint thanks to Pamela's memories, it's going to take a while for my Pamela bits and my Kat bits to come to an accord on the matter. Does that make any sense?"

"Would getting regular chicken nuggets instead of dino shapes help any?"

"…why would I have something against dinosaur nuggets? They're cute." Kat bustled over to grab the sheet pans with her now clean hands, dipping them under the spray for a few seconds each to wash off what dirt had transferred to the handles. Considering where she'd gotten that same dirt lately, Cordelia doubted it was hazardous to her health or anything but the gesture was still appreciated. "Hands for now. We'll take a bath later and I'll worry about your face then. Sorry about that, by the way." Cordelia offered a grin and a shrug as she took her place at the sink, washing her hands thoroughly as Kat made her way over to the refrigerator and opened the doors. "The chicken nuggets are fine. Your dinosaur-shaped sweet potato nuggets, on the other hand, I could do without."

Cordelia huffed before sticking her tongue out in Kat's direction even as the redhead pulled both the box in question and a bag full of nuggets. A box that she'd edited for truth in labeling as soon as she'd gotten them home, using a Sharpie to make them 'Dr. Praeger's Sweet Potatoes 4 Littles'. "Growing girl, balanced diet, et cetera and so forth." Finishing at the sink, she turned off the water and dried her hands before wandering over to hug Kat from behind as the redhead began laying out neat rows of chicken nuggets on one of the sheet pans. "And I feel like you hating my dino sweet potato nuggets but being okay with my dino chicken nuggets is hypocritical somehow..?"

Tilting her head to the side slightly, Kat rubbed her cheek against Cordelia's as she continued her work. "Like I said, screams of the vegetables."

"Once I'm eighteen, can we do a home movie and call it that?" Cordelia realized her mistake the second after the words left her mouth, cringing and meeting Kat's incredulous look with a thoroughly apologetic expression. "In my defense, I haven't actually reached little space yet and so… it's still weird, isn't it?" Kat nodded slowly before shuddering in Cordelia's arms. "Yeah. Sorry. My bad."

"Besides, that'd be a horribly misleading title seeing as how I'm usually the one making you scream."

"Didn't you literally just say I was making things weird?"

"Yes. And in the words of moms everywhere… do as I say, sweetie, not as I do."

While part of Cordelia wanted to argue with that, a bigger part realized that asking Kat to adopt motherly mannerisms for her benefit meant taking the good with the bad. And hey, it could have been worse. At least being a lesbian meant that she'd never have to deal with her dom making dad jokes…