A/N:…I really don't have anything to say here.

Sword: As you shouldn't. So what if work is in the way? This is important!

Okay, okay. Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy belong to Danny Antonucci and Cartoon Network. The story, Sword, and Pen belong to me. Let's get on with it.

Chapter 6 – All Going According to Ed

The day before the exams arrived faster than Edd had anticipated and soon he faced the school's front doors, running over the plan in his mind one last time. His head spinning, he rushed around the corner, out of sight of the students entering the building, tore open his paper bag lunch, and panted into it. The hyperventilation made his vision dim and stars danced momentarily amongst the grass at his feet.

With great effort, he slowed his breathing and leaned back against the brick wall. You can do this. He took one last draw of the sweet summer air, hitched up his backpack high on his shoulders, and marched into school.

Along the way to first period, he caught Ed and Eddy, both standing separate with May and Lee. All four noticed him and they exchanged subtle nods that nobody noticed between the swarming crowds.

Edd plopped down in first period and stared at the clock. 7:12. Good, good. He drummed his hands on the desk, watching his classmates file in. It seemed like only a few seconds had passed until he checked the clock again. 7:14. Be there soon. The teacher entered and set-up his lesson plan for their review.

Edd glanced at the clock again. 12:00. He shook his head. He now sat in a completely different class and everyone was leaving for lunch. Rubbing his eyes, his stomach cramped and churned. Where had the time gone? He must have been lost in a fog for the whole morning.

Probably the only way I could stay calm, he reasoned, stowing away his books. He pretended to have trouble zipping up his belongings and hung back, waiting until the other students and teacher had left. Once they were clear of the threshold, he stopped messing with the zippers and shuffled along after them.

At an intersection, he cut off from the crowd, steering right while they went left to the lunchroom. Rounding into the next empty hallway, he could see his plotted route in his mind. A left, straight to the end of the hall, and another right, and the classroom would be on his immediate right. Simple.

He turned left and screeched to a half. At the far end of the hallway, Kevin stood at a row of lockers, inspecting some newly added graffiti.

Edd's breathing hitched and he fumbled for his paper bag again. Out of the corner of his eye, he spied a restroom a few steps ahead. Taking quick strides, he burst in and pushed the door closed.

Carefully, he listened to the hallway outside. He heard faint plops, like shoes strolling down the corridor. They grew louder, encroaching on the restroom, and Edd hurriedly backed away from the door. His arm reached out, swiping at air until he found a door stall. Pulling it open, he squeezed in and locked it behind him.

When the restroom door opened, Edd held his breath and took stock of the narrow stall. Curse public restroom layouts! He was almost standing in the toilet itself for how little room he had. His face pressed above the stall's latch, he saw a shock of red hair through the slit and a leering face.

"Oh, dooork," Kevin called low, beating on the door stall next to Edd's own stall. "I saw you run in here. You're supposed to be at lunch." He stooped and checked under the stall door he had hammered on and frowned.

As quietly as he could, Edd crept onto the toilet seat in his own stall, suppressing the urge to look at the odd stains and discolorations on it. He checked his wristwatch. Five minutes gone. He couldn't waste any time.

Kevin stopped in front of Edd's stall and checked. The trembling boy crouched, keeping his head out of the open air, and his shoes far away from the edge of the toilet seat. A pain ran up his back the longer Edd stood there, sweat pouring down his brow.

Eventually, Kevin moved onto the last stall and Edd sighed into his hand. He allowed himself to straighten a little, working a kink out of his back, and listened to Kevin enter the last stall. C'mon, hurry up and leave.

But Kevin didn't leave. In fact, there was no more sound. Edd strained his ear and looked at the crack above the latch. He couldn't see Kevin anywhere, but he was sure he hadn't left yet.

Then where…-

"Gotcha, dork." Edd's head shot up and met Kevin's evil grin. Hopping off the toilet, Edd fumbled with the latch and threw the door open. Yet it was too late. Kevin had hopped the barrier, landed on the toilet with athletic ease, and shoulder-tackled Edd to the floor.

Edd tried to squirm and push away from Kevin, but the hall monitor drove a knee into his chest, knocking the wind out of him. His limbs limp, Edd didn't have the strength to fight back and Kevin dug his knee into Edd's stomach.

"What are you up to?" he demanded.

"N-Nothing," Edd wheezed, grabbing Kevin's knee and trying in vain to lift it off.

"Yeah, right," he said. "First the short dork is skulking around this morning, and now here you are when you should be at lunch. I know you three are up to something." His comment about Eddy shook Edd, who forgot about the knee. Kevin caught on and smiled wide. "That's right. I'm onto you. So what is it? Maybe the graffiti out there? Planning to hit all the lockers for an end of year prank?"

"I promise, there's nothing going on," Edd said. "I was, just, just-"

" 'Just, just,'" Kevin mocked. "Just what?"

"Just feeling ill," Edd said. "So I came in here."

Kevin appeared to consider the excuse for a moment, then leaned in close to his face. "Why not use the one near the lunchroom then?"

He had Edd there, and the boy laying on the ground couldn't come up with a quick lie. Kevin sat up and flicked his eyes to the sink and mirrors, then back down to Edd. He rolled off, grabbed Edd by the shirt, and lifted him to his feet.

"You know, I owe you and your girlfriend for the other night," Kevin said and followed it with a hard punch to the gut. If Edd had had trouble breathing before, now he couldn't even suck up any air. "Looks like you got a little something on your face," Kevin said. "Can't take you to the principal's office looking like that."

Cupping his hand, Kevin pumped out a handful of soap from the soap dispenser, smeared it over Edd's face, and held him under the sink. "Drink up," he said, turning on the water and running it over Edd.

Soap and rushing water singed Edd's nostrils, setting them aflame. Too late to close his mouth and nose, he sputtered and choked, coughing up water and spit as Kevin shut off the faucet. "There, all clean," Kevin said smugly, pushing Edd out the restroom door.

"Edward? Kevin?" Both boys looked up at Edd's Chemistry teacher strolling down the hallway. "What's going on? Shouldn't you both be in the lunchroom?" Then he peered closer at Edd. "My goodness, Edward. Are you alright?"

"Not really," Edd said, shooting a subtle glare at Kevin. The churning water and soap seemed to have scrubbed away any lingering impediments for thinking up a quick excuse. "I was feeling a bit ill. I didn't think I could handle being anywhere near the smell of food, so I found a restroom far from it. Kevin," he nodded toward the boy clenching his jaw, "found me, helped me clean up, and offered to take me to the nurse's station."

The teacher looked to Kevin, as if to confirm the story. Edd could see Kevin's teeth grinding, squinting sourly like he was chewing on a bug, while the gears in his head ran through every outcome. If Kevin contradicted Edd, he would have to explain his suspicions and lack of evidence, as well as why Edd's face was still wet with traces of soap.

"Yes," Kevin finally said through a set smile. "I wanted to be sure he was alright."

"How very thoughtful of you," the teacher said, beaming. This did little to counter the raging inferno in Kevin's eyes, nor his fingers digging into Edd's shoulder as he turned him away. "Why don't I walk him down there instead? I'm heading in that direction. You go get something to eat."

Kevin's face darkened, but he didn't dare argue with a teacher. Instead, he released his deathgrip on Edd and nodded. "I'll swing by this way later," he said, giving his escaped quarry a grin that didn't come close to his eyes, "to check up on you."

"What a caring young man," the teacher said once Kevin left and rounded the corner. "Come along, Edward."

The trip to the nurse's station took Edd in the exact opposite direction of where he needed to be, but there was nothing he could do. He silently followed behind the teacher, hunching his shoulders and checking his watch every few seconds, silently praying he had enough time.

Once the teacher dropped Edd off at the nurse's station and explained his symptoms, Edd was whisked behind the only curtain dividing the patient area and the nurse's desk and helped him onto an examination table. "What seems to be the problem today?" she asked, sliding out a thermometer and sticking it in his mouth.

A lot of things, Edd thought. "Stomachache," he said.

She hummed to herself and took the thermometer out, checking it. "98.6, but you do look a little peaky," she said, holding his head and examining his eyes, nose, throat, and anywhere else she could. "Any other pains I should know about?"

"No."

"Well, might be pre-exam jitters," she said. "But if you're feeling too ill, I can call your parents. Or if you want, you can stay here a bit to rest, see how you feel after lunch."

"No, no, don't trouble yourself, really," he said, hopping off the examination table. "I think whatever it was, I got it up in the restroom."

"Alright," the nurse said, moving to her desk and jotting a quick note. "If you start feeling bad again, come right back to see me. Here's a note to get you out of class."

"Thanks," he said, taking it and stuffing it in his backpack. Checking the hall for Kevin first, he slipped out of the nurse's station and flat-out sprinted toward the Math and Biology classroom. After clearing the length of a couple of hallways, he slowed down, catching his breath and holding a stitch in his side.

I might really need to throw up, he thought, shuffling at a slower pace down the next corridor. As he approached the correct classroom, it was only then he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He quickly pulled it out, keeping an eye out for Kevin, and snuck into the classroom, quietly shutting the door behind him.

The notifications read 15 missed calls and 20 new text messages, all from Lee and Ed. Before he could return either of their calls, Lee's name popped up on his phone, calling him once more.

"Hello," he said, answering the phone and making his way to the computer.

"Finally!" Lee's husky voice thundered. "I've been tryin' to get ahold of ya for the past 10 minutes!"

"Sorry, ran into some trouble. What happened?"

"We got a problem down here."

Immediately, his mind conjured worst scenarios: the cameras had been found; they had been caught by Kevin. Edd's stomach plummeted to his feet and he eyed the nearest trash can. He was definitely going to throw up now.

"What is it?" he asked.

"It would be better if you came down here," Lee said.

Edd tried to ask what she meant, but she had already hung up. He checked his watch. 15 minutes gone, and the computer in front of him still needed to be dealt with.

Let's see. 5 minutes there if I book it, 5 minutes back. He should have enough time if he rushed things, but there was also no telling when the teacher would return.

Groaning and cursing his bad luck so far, he bolted from the classroom and to the gym, sure that he put the track and field team to shame with how fast he dashed.

Once he entered the gym, he could barely breath and his heart seemed to be using a jackhammer against his ribs. He trotted and limped the length of the gym and to the locker rooms, where Lee and Ed waited in the shadows.

"Wha…hang on," he said, bending over and grabbing his wobbly knees. He took several gulps of air, stood up, tried and failed again, then took several more deep swallows. "What," he said, wheezing and waving his arm in a circle, "is…explain."

"There's someone in the room," Ed said.

"Okay," Edd said, looking at the office door. "Okay, that's a problem. One of the coaches? Um, could we maybe distract him?"

"It's not one of the coaches," Lee said.

She grabbed Edd's arm, dragging him to the window looking into the office. Through the blinds, he spied a shock of blue hair sitting at the desk.

"Oh, crap."

A/N: Well, hopefully we're not in too much hot water.

Sword: *checks a boiling cauldron* What did you say?

Er, nevermind. Anyway, with any luck, we'll try to have more out as soon as time permits. In the meantime, thank you for reading and please let us know what you think so far. We'd love to hear from you.