"Why are you watching the clock?" Sonny inquires.
"I haven't seen her yet this morning," Amanda reveals.
"That doesn't mean anything. Maybe she has a virus, or something? It is possible she is in a meeting. I mean cut her some slack," he suggests.
"Carisi, I am telling you. When I asked her yesterday if everything was okay you would have thought that I sucker punched her."
"I wish I hadn't said anything. You are spinning this into some huge thing. It's probably nothing."
"I bet you twenty bucks."
"I'll prove to you that you're wrong."
"How?"
He shrugs, "I'm not sure yet," as his fingers tap on the surface of Amanda's desk.
The sound of footsteps makes them panic. Amanda hands Carisi an open file folder to suggest that they are having a work related conversation. Carisi makes eye contact with the Captain.
"Hey Captain can I ask you a personal question?"
She stops in her tracks, "Sure, Carisi, what's up?"
"Please don't punch me for asking this. I know that it is really rude to ask, quite frankly," he begins to feels as if he is losing his courage to ask.
"Go ahead." Olivia stamps her foot impatiently.
"So I…" he stammers.
"Just spit it out," Benson insists.
"Are you pregnant?
She purses her lips. She subtly nods her head, and exhales. "Yup," she responds as she makes a beeline for her office.
From behind her office door the panic begins to set in. She hangs her jacket on the hook, and removes her sunglasses. Her heart races as she sinks into her seat.
"Shit!" Olivia mutters to herself.
In the squad room Amanda's eyes look as if they are going to pop out of her head. Carisi offers her a crisp twenty dollar bill from his wallet. For a moment they both blankly stare at the Captain's closed office door. Eventually the shock begins to dissipate at least a bit.
"What the hell just happened?" Carisi locks eyes with his former partner.
"I have no clue. You apparently just decided that the question was worth getting your ass kicked. You know that she is going to kick your ass for this later, right?"
"It's your fault. You are the one that brought it up," Carisi lays blame.
"I'm not the one who chose to ask her something incredibly personal in the middle of the squad room, where literally anyone could hear."
"Did you hear what she said?!"
"Yup, and then she just kept walking. I mean I know that she can keep her cool in tough situations, but that one takes the cake. She was so nonchalant. It was like you asked her if she was wearing shoes this morning."
Carisi glances at his watch, "I've got to go. Maybe she was just pulling an elaborate prank on us. If so, I want my money back."
Olivia is contemplating fleeing to Canada, or possibly Brazil, from the comfort of her office chair when she hears knuckles wrapping on her door. Without even looking up, she knows who is at the door.
"Rollins, come in."
The door closes as swiftly as it opens. Amanda stands before her Captain. She folds her arms across her chest, and considers where to begin.
"You really shouldn't pull that kind of prank on Carisi. He can't handle it."
"Have a seat," Benson advises as she gesticulates.
Amanda reluctantly takes a seat. "You don't owe me any kind of explanation. It wasn't anyone's place to ask you something like that. I'm sure…"
Olivia cuts her off, "Rollins, it wasn't a prank. Honestly, I am surprised that someone hasn't asked sooner. Working in a squad full of detectives, I figured that someone would have said something by now."
"Oh. I don't really know what to say," Rollins finds herself blindsided.
"We can start with the fact that I am a fossil," Olivia recommends.
"I wasn't going to mention that."
"The truth is that about ten years ago I decided that I was ready to be a mom. I went through the process of egg retrieval, and choosing a donor. Life got in the way, and I didn't go that route at that time. Noah came along, and I didn't think much about it again. Several months ago I got a call from the cryobank."
"Is there a shelf life on such a thing?"
"There certainly is a recommended shelf life."
"I see."
"So I decided that since the odds were pretty slim I might as well shoot for the moon. I have never been opposed to having a second child. Noah has been in a pretty good place lately. I am certainly not getting any younger."
"So it worked?"
"Far better than anyone could have possibly anticipated."
"How does it work better than anticipated? You either get pregnant, or you don't, right?"
"That is generally true."
"I don't understand," Amanda admits.
"I just recently learned that apparently I am having twins."
"Oh! Congratulations? You don't seem excited."
"Mostly I'm just terrified right now."
"Your secret is safe with me. I won't tell anyone."
"At this point I'm not really sure how it is a secret at all. I am consistently barf-y. I feel as if I haven't slept in a year."
Amanda furrows her brow, "How far along are you?"
"Twenty weeks."
"What?! I was the size of a house both times. How is that possible?"
"I would assume it is the constant barfing. They don't seem particularly concerned."
"Liv, this is a lot. Are you sure that you're prepared for all of this?"
Silence fills the room. Amanda watches as her typically stoic Captain breaks eye contact, and finds it difficult to formulate an intelligible sentence. Olivia casts aside the glasses she has been using to sift through a mountain of paperwork. Her hands fall into her lap. For a millisecond Amanda thinks she can see through the armor. Olivia's hands come to rest clasped in front of her abdomen.
"Honestly? No. What was I thinking?"
Amanda grins, "You were thinking with your heart instead of your head."
"I gave up on having any semblance of a normal life a long time ago."
"Do you have any doubt that you want these babies?"
"Not for a second."
"You are under no obligation to stay chained to this desk. You are an amazing Captain, and I would be devastated to see you go. At the same time I would be equally as devastated if you stayed here out of whatever sense of obligation that you have, and miss out on all of the incredible moments in your future that come with this opportunity."