"Moira, are you going to teach me about the birds and the bees now?"
Moira sighed quietly, not wavering her attention from the notes she was writing. "Not now, dear. I'm busy, see."
"But when?"
"Later."
"When later?"
"When I'm done studying."
"You're studying? But it's the holidays." She was used to the girls at school telling her that. "That's when I take a break from school."
"I'm older than you, so I have more schoolwork," explained Moira. She finished the sentence she was writing and glanced at her schoolbook again.
"But when will you be done studying?"
"I don't know." She couldn't prevent the irritation that crept into her voice. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? "Why don't you ask someone else?" She internally scoffed at the idea of June or Alicia teaching him about "the birds and the bees".
"They just laughed when I told them what I knew about the birds and the bees," noted Tommy. "I don't get it. Did I say something wrong?"
"No, you didn't." Moira inwardly shook her head at the others' childishness. They were only slightly younger than her, yet behaved so childishly.
"Then why did they laugh?"
Moira wasn't in the mood for all the badgering. She realised he wouldn't leave her alone until she humored him. She couldn't concentrate with all the questions, either. With a sigh, she put her pen down and turned to him. "Alright. I'll tell you."
Tommy's face lit up. "Really?"
"Yes." She planned to tell him about the literal birds and the bees. In a way, she was glad they had used that euphemism and not something more inappropriate. She'd lecture until he grew bored and left. The girls at her school always dreaded her lectures. "You see, there are all kinds of birds. Pigeons, parrots, hawks, eagles—"
"I know that," interrupted Tommy.
"Then which one would you like to learn about?"
"Any. Do they eat other animals?" His eyes lit up with excitement at the thought.
He was a strange child, that was for sure. "Yes, I'm fairly sure they do."
"What kind of animals?"
"Worms and insects, usually. They can also eat fish, snakes—"
"Snakes?" Tommy interrupted. "Cool! Do they ever fight?"
"I don't know," replied Moira, turning back to her notes.
"If they did, who do you think would win?"
"The bird, I guess," replied Moira dismissively. This was ridiculous. She should be studying, not discussing which animal would win in a fight.
"I think the snake would," suggested Tommy. "I mean, it can bite the bird and poison it. But the bird could fly away."
"I suppose." Moira started writing again. "Some snakes are venomous, but not all of them are."
"If it was, would there be blood when it bit the snake?" Tommy sounded excited at the thought. He really was a strange child. Moira had seen him mashing up a tomato at lunch, calling it a person and pretending the red juice was blood.
"Maybe," replied Moira. "There is blood when snakes bite humans." She couldn't believe she was actually paying attention to his ridiculous questions.
"If a snake tried to bite me, I'd punch it and make it bleed," Tommy decided.
"That'd just make it easier for it to bite you." Moira smiled, slightly amused. She had to admit, he was somewhat amusing to talk to. Children had such funny opinions, even on something as boring and technical as what birds ate.
She'd never admit it, but she had a soft spot for children. She could only imagine what the girls at school would say. Bossy, stuck-up, boring, dictator Moira, liking kids?
"Oh, right... well, I'd scream at it and scare it off."
"I'm sure you would." Moira started writing again, determined to ignore him.
But his questions persisted. "What about bees? I heard they die when they sting you. They'd have to be really careful to use their sting. Like, if a person was about to kill them. But then they'd just die anyway. So what's the point of stinging them?"
"To get back at the person, maybe," suggested Moira. "The bee would make the person suffer too by stinging them."
"I won't try to kill a bee, then," decided Tommy. "I wouldn't want them to sting me."
Moira put down her pen. "You know, only female bees have stingers. Male bees don't."
"Why?"
"It's just how they're built." Moira gave up trying to pay attention to her notes.
"Not even the king bee has a stinger?"
"There isn't a king bee, only a queen bee."
"Why?" Moira remembered how much little kids liked asking that question.
"Because bees prefer girls to lead them. They're different from humans, you see." Moira surprised herself with the joke she made.
Of course, Tommy took it literally. "Oh. I wouldn't like to be a bee, then. I wouldn't want to not have a stinger, or be led by a girl."
"Good thing we're not bees then." Moira picked up her pen again. She had humored him long enough. "Alright, dear, I think I've taught you enough for now. I have to get back to studying."
"Okay." Tommy sounded disappointed, but then perked up. "Thank you for teaching me, Moira. Can you do it again later, when you're not busy?"
"Maybe." Moira wasn't as put off by the thought as she expected.
"Oh, can I ask you one more thing, Moira?"
"What is it, dear?" Moira started writing again.
"Do you have any idea what I could use as fake blood without making a mess?"
"What?" He was a strange child, alright.
"I tried red paint before, but Aunt and Uncle yelled at me for getting the carpet dirty," he explained. "Then I tried tomatoes at lunch, but that got all messy too."
Moira paused, looking at Tommy again. "How about clay? It just needs to be red, and you can put it in a container once you're finished. You just need to ask your aunt and uncle to buy some for you."
Tommy beamed. "Thanks, Moira! I'll ask Aunt and Uncle."
As he happily left her room, Moira turned back to her studying. The lesson hadn't been nearly as bad as she thought it would be. Tommy was a rather nice kid, if a bit strange. Nicer than June and Alicia, that was for sure.
Tommy really is a strange child. Moira is actually quite nice to him, calling him "dear" and offering to tutor him.