"Riku," the smaller boy called quietly, doubting his own resolve. "Are you okay?" A pause. "Did the doctor say something bad?" Was it… us? He couldn't help but worry.

Internally, Riku wished darkness upon everything external. Any way to not see what kept replaying in his mind.

"Riku," Sora forced a sternness to his tone. The sound caused Riku to sink into his mattress. "Whatever you're going through, you didn't need to do that to Kairi."

Is he getting quieter? Riku wondered, taking solace in how floaty everything started feeling. It was preferable to the current weight of his situation.

From Sora's perspective, he was met only with a silent stillness, which spurred him on further. "She only-We only," he corrected. "Care about you."

Riku hazily registered the sound of feet hitting a hard linoleum floor.

He closed his eyes.

Moments later, they snapped back open when he felt a hand on his shoulder, pushing him onto his back. The hand lingered roughly for several seconds, and he could vaguely feel its residual force even in its absence. His shoulder ached.

It was so dark, now, but his eyes picked up the familiar outline at his bedside.

Riku's head started swimming, the thrumming of his heart reverberating through his skull. There was a quiet, incessant droning just beyond the beats, but he couldn't understand it. What… are you… he struggled through the noise. I can't… hear…

He reached out his hand to recover his bearings, pressing against the figure's arm. They didn't shrink away from his touch. Sensing that, the buzzing in his ears abated just enough to hear their words.

"Why do you always do this?" The voice was pained and guttural, scraping through Riku's ears as they forced their way into his head. Riku's hand fell away, only to grasp futilely over his own ears.

"You haven't changed at all," the voice stated, monotone in all of its apathy. The ice coating their tone temporarily soothed Riku's aching head, but it bore deep within him. He couldn't help but shiver.

No, that's not true, Riku denied, longing to be heard. He pushed against the figure, asserting his refusal. They didn't budge.

"Oh?" the voice was suddenly painted in amusement. "Are you going to fight me again?"

The air became almost tangibly thick, sending Riku into a fit of coughs as he struggled not to choke.

No, no, no! Riku thought desperately through the haze, adding his other hand, pushing. That's not what I want.

The figure's dark shape seemed to be expanding ever-horizontally, forcing away Riku's struggling shoves.

Riku wrestled his hands back in place over and over again. Please, listen, he begged. It's not like that. His ribcage felt more and more battered, as though the smog was pushing against his lungs from the inside. The cacophony of noise in his head gained an impossibly high, never-ending note. Breaths became deep gasps as he struggled to stay conscious.

A hollow, exasperated laughing cry seemed to echo in the space, piercing through the cloud that had encompassed them. "Stop pushing me away!"

Riku tried to scream, but any sounds making it past the air in his throat were twisted monstrously. Any form of speech was impossible. He couldn't breathe.

His desperation made him break.

Every panicked, heightened feeling Riku had been bottling up came to a head. He closed his eyes tightly; one final defiance to the action he'd resolved himself to try. His fingers turned to grip instead of push.

Before the figure had a chance to respond, he pulled them down. Taking advantage of the other's stunned state, he used his hands to search for their face. Once he found it, he shuffled his body to match their position.

Riku could feel his fingers shaking as they held the other in place. His head was full of a deafening orchestra, keeping any other solution from his scope.

He moved his face forward, desperation keeping him from relishing the moment. Vaguely, Riku registered the pleasant pressure he found against his lips. Inhaling deeply and fully granted him a reprieve from the pain and confusion. All that remained in his mind was the boy so impossibly close against him. So wonderfully close.

I…want him, he thought, suddenly unable to keep his lips from moving, undulating in rhythmic pressure. Warm breaths and gulps of air only served to make him rougher than he meant to be.

The figure wrenched their face away, pushing against Riku's chest for distance. In that moment, the space began to hold weight and form, its murky smog dissipating. The figure coughed, exhaustively, as if trying to expel something from deep within themselves. The sound brought Riku back to his senses. Oh no, he thought, heart sinking.

"You," they panted, finally.

Riku opened his eyes, unable to deny the curiosity at seeing their reaction. He regretted it immediately.

Sora was rubbing the back of his hand against his mouth with a look that can only be described as a mix of betrayal and disgust. Riku took a deep breath as time slowed.

"There's something wrong with you," Sora spat, tears in his eyes.

Riku's heart felt as though it fell into his stomach and out through the floor. The edges of his eyes suddenly burned, liquid pooling in the corners. He curled up, shakily trying to hold himself together. Every inhale was a battle waged in his battered lungs. He shuddered, tremors giving rise to exponentially more forceful fits of shaking.

And then he wailed with such intensity it sounded alien even to himself.

"Riku!" Sora's voice called.

No more, Riku declared, shielding himself from his cruel words.

"Riku, what's wrong!?" A tentative touch on his shoulder.

The contact caused Riku's eyes to open in surprise, suddenly overloaded by the dim light of the hospital room. Riku tried to blink away the tears, but they wouldn't stop.

"Riku!" Sora called, at a loss. "It's okay," he reassured him. "You're okay!"

Riku couldn't understand why Sora was now comforting and touching him. He just didn't understand anything, but he found a slight solace in pulling the blanket he now realized was covering him up over his head.

"Riku, is this because of a dream?" Sora asked. He had wanted to talk earlier, but Riku fell asleep almost immediately after being given the medication.

Riku's heart returned momentarily, feeling relief wash over him, dissipating shortly after he realized the reality of the events had never mattered.

That's how you'll react if you ever… If I ever let you know.

His raspy cries only fueled his embarrassment at being so weak, but even so, he couldn't stop.

"Are you scared because of your voice?" When the whimpers didn't stop, he continued. "Did I do something to hurt you?"

Another pained wail escaped his dear friend's throat, and he knew he had been right.

"Riku, I'll always be here for you, so please, don't push me away," he asserted, pulling the blanket away from Riku's face.

Don't push me away, Riku repeated in his mind. The parallels to the dream made him shudder. He felt hopeless. Even after everything, he still wanted to hold Sora close. More than before.

To want such a thing is wrong… He knew that. He'd never stopped telling himself, but he had been rationalizing exceptions, and now denying his feelings felt like an impossible undertaking.

He held out a shaky hand. Deny me, like then. That way… he rationalized, I can give up again.

Sora clasped it tightly, intertwining their fingers. "I'm here," he reassured.

Riku's heart clenched. No. I don't want this… this… hope.

He squeezed his eyes tight, resigned to admit that he had to give up.

I want you, Riku thought, the sentiment trapped in his mind. Ever since he saw Kairi with Sora earlier, he had to pretend to be okay. Like always. He'd been over it time and time again, but this felt different.

If only you would stop giving me hope.

Sora pulled the blanket back and laid down beside him, and Riku's surprise caused an interruption to his sniffling cries. He hazarded a peek, and saw Sora smiling calmly, holding Riku's hand against the bed between them.

"There, there, it's okay," he cooed, wrapping his other arm around Riku's shoulder. Riku suddenly felt so warm.

"I'll always be here for you."

Riku's audible sobs calmed to a silent stream of infrequent tears. The comfort and acceptance he felt at that moment calmed his anxieties, but he didn't know what to feel beyond that.

He felt at a crossroads. His first choice was to once again try to bear everything himself, a burden under which he had been crushed before. The other was to be open, and trust that his best friend would not deny his heart.

His natural habit would be to repeat endlessly that his feelings would never be returned, but even he found that difficult with said boy reassuring him even now.

Every step of the way, Sora had been there.

Why do I continue to doubt him?

He moved his head forward and against their hands, comforted by their warmth.

Closing his eyes, he dove into the welcome escape of sleep.

Sora watched his dear friend return the realm of dreams. "Please, have a nicer one this time," he whispered, worry wrinkling his features.

His gaze moved to their hands, then back to Riku's face. He looked almost peaceful now, innocent as a child.

I'm so happy I could help you, he thought, his heart tightening before the shadow he'd tried to ignore obscured all silver linings. But, I'm probably the one who caused you to feel like this in the first place. He grit his teeth.

"I'm sorry, Riku," he breathed. But I don't know what to do.

If seeing me next to Kairi hurts you…

But, why? He wondered.

Sora had started to feel a little better since seeing Kairi earlier. He knew he could talk to her about anything, and she would comfort him. Such a thing made him feel childish and spoiled, but he needed it sometimes.

Suddenly, he saw past the room and back to those familiar beaches. Two small boys were laying on the sand, regaling one another with whatever they found most interesting at the given moment. The two were smiling and laughing as casual touches were exchanged without thought.

When did that change?

He saw a small girl approach them, and Sora offering her the spot between Riku and himself.

No, stop, he chidded his past self. The shy girl happily joined them, giving most of her attention to the kind brown-haired boy who had welcomed her. The silver-hair child gradually became more withdrawn, until he said nothing at all.

Is that… how it was?

The scene evaporated, leaving the larger Riku of now in front of him.

Do you still feel replaced? Sora wondered. Even now?

Sora's heart knotted with what he was sure was worry as he looked at the weary boy.

He looked back to their hands, and mirrored Riku's action, resting against them.

Nuzzling slightly against the silver boy's fingers, he felt Riku's grip tighten slightly in response. Sora smiled, stifling a slight chuckle, and closed his eyes to join him in the realm of sleeping worlds.