"Slow Burn"(def.): an attraction for someone that is not instant, but grows over time.
-x-
Chapter Eighteen: We Might As Well Be Strangers
-x-
The plan was divide and conquer.
But Sora had once had the unpleasant experience of having Tai as a lab partner in biology and therefore knew exactly how the division of labor would be split.
So it did not shock her in the slightest when she walked into the library, where he was supposed to be meeting with Yamato, only to find the blonde in a remote corner of the study room with his nose in a thick textbook.
Well, it's now or never, Takenouchi.
It was the first time Sora had seen Matt out in weeks, he was like a ghost, she caught whispers of him, hints but no tangible evidence of his existence. And it made her shudder to think of how easy it was for Matt to make himself disappear.
She was always at a loss for how to handle him when he got into these moods, as much as she hated to admit, Taichi was just so much better at understanding him during these times than she was. And she considered herself to be pretty empathetic in most situations, at least, she tried to be. She felt emotions so deeply, especially other peoples and even more so her friends', but with Yamato she was just never sure of herself.
She was never quite clear on how to approach him without spooking him. Wasn't sure when it was okay to push and when she was supposed to back off. He had no tells and hardly any triggers. It made her feel like she was navigating a minefield…
One wrong step and the entire place blown to bits.
With a deep breath, she walked over to him. It unnerved her even more to see the headphones in his ears, making him seem that much more unapproachable.
She poked his shoulder with caution.
If he was startled, he didn't jump, instead just craned his neck upwards and registered her presence. He nodded towards the empty seat beside him, but made no other movement otherwise.
This was going to be tougher than she thought.
"Hey, how's it going?"
He gave her a confused glance.
She pointed at his headphones, gesturing for him to take them out.
He dropped one, "What's up?"
She slid her backpack off her shoulder, "Not much, you trying to get ahead of finals too?" She began.
He nodded, "Probably won't help much, I swear these professors have no lives except to make mine miserable." He muttered.
Sora sighed, "I hear ya." She took out a history textbook, eyeing it with distaste.
He didn't say much else, his eyes on her for a few seconds before returning to his reading.
Sora wrung her hands around each other. "So… how've you been?" This was the part of talking to him she really hated, when he was so clearly in the mood not to talk, and having to push past those horribly thick walls.
He eyed her carefully, "Doing alright, you?" His gaze was pensive, as if he was trying to solve a problem.
Eyeing her as if he was trying to unravel her motives.
It made her uncomfortable at best.
"Same old. Can't believe the semester will be over soon, I feel like it just started."
"Really? I feel like it's been years."
Sora let out a quiet laugh, "You would." She surmised. "Aside from school and stuff, you're good?" She raised her brows.
Matt didn't answer right away, instead continued to look at her, now with mild amusement. "You've got something on you mind." He stated with assurance.
Sora felt her cheeks heating up. "I...what" She sputtered lamely.
A slow, small smirk appeared on his face. "You're nervous, peculiar. Wonder what it could be." He sounded as if he knew exactly what it was.
It ticked her off.
Why was she going out on a limb for him if he was just going to be a douche!
She narrowed her eyes at him, "Don't be a jerk. You know what I want to talk to you about, I just didn't know how to bring it up." She said.
The smirk and any other other hint of mirth dropped from his face. "If it's what I think it's about, then I'm going to need you and everyone else to mind their own business." He all but demanded.
"It is my business when it involves my best friends."
"It's not your business if I'm saying it's not." He replied.
"Don't be difficult, Yamato. You know I'm just trying to help." Sora said reproachfully.
"And you know I don't want it."
"So what? That's it then?"
"Believe it's what they call an impasse, Takenouchi." He shrugged.
Sora wanted to smack him, "You're impossible." She rolled her eyes.
"But you already knew that." He countered. "So why are you wasting your time?"
Sora squeezed the bridge of her nose, inhaling a few deep breaths. "Come on, Matt. This is me, you know you can talk to me." She emphasized like it was supposed to mean something.
Because it should mean something.
They didn't have loads of history and years of friendship between them for nothing, after all.
"Not sure you're gonna like what I have to say, s'all." He shrugged with indifference.
She really hated this side of him.
Mimi was so much better at ignoring the ice until it thawed, she was too intimidated by it.
"Try me." She said simply.
Matt shook his head, "Don't say I didn't warn you." He said under his breath.
"I just want to help, Matt. I can tell you're not yourself, and neither is Mimi. I'm not saying there's a quick fix for all this but I really do think we can at the very least figure out some kind of compromise that can leave both of you a little happier."
Matt let out a snort, "Everything's a mess, Sor. It's all fucked up and turned around—I wouldn't known how or where to even begin." He said honestly.
"I know it feels that way, but nothing is lost forever, Matt. And you guys are so close, your friendship has withstood so much, you can't just quit on it now." She argued.
"Friendship? That's all gone now, surely, I don't have to explain that to you."
Sora's brows knitted, "Well, maybe things cant go back to the way they were but maybe this just means you guys will find a new way, a better way." She insisted fervently.
"That's just an indirect way of saying that I should just try getting into a relationship with her, that would be easiest for everyone, wouldn't it?" He scoffed in disbelief.
Her eyes widened, "It's not what I meant." She argued, but deep down she knew that was exactly what she wanted.
Everything she had meant to say.
And he knew her too well not to read between the lines.
"Come on, Takenouchi. It's all over your face." He rolled his eyes. "In all this clamour for Mimi's feelings, all the placation and coddling, no one seems to be thinking rationally."
"Well, what would be so bad about you two giving it a try? I mean, clearly you're both attracted to each other and you know she has feelings for you so I really don't see the—
"You act as if I don't know Mimi, as if there aren't two sides to everything." He let out a breath through his nose. "Mimi's the girl in love with being in love. Today it's me, next week it'll be some J-pop star and a month after that she'll probably have found her way back Ryo Akiyama." And Ryo was better suited for her than Matt could ever hope to be.
Well adjusted, unfairly handsome, ridiculously talented, heir to a freaking empire—Ryo Akiyama. Who could really hold a candle to that, anyway?
Definitely not a wannabe musician, barely affording rent and tuition while working a restaurant job.
What could he possibly have to offer her?
"That is such an awful thing to say, Matt."
"It's the truth, Sora." He muttered. "I told you you wouldn't like what I had to say."
She shook her head, "I don't just not like it, Matt. It confuses me." She said, trying to keep her patience. "If you don't have feelings for Mimi, that's one thing. But to be so mean about it...it's unlike you."
"It's because I'm tired, Sora." He sighed. "I'm so fucking tired of blaming myself, of feeling so incredibly guilty that I fucked up one of the only good things in my life. I can't hate myself anymore than I already do, and I'm sorry if that's a shitty excuse, I'm sorry if it's weak and pathetic and 'unlike me' but it is what it is. This is who I am right now." He needed her to hear this, he needed someone else to hear him.
He was so sick of having these conversations with himself, he felt like he was going insane.
Sora felt tears pricking against her eyes, "I…" Her voice cracked and she had no words that would be good enough anyway.
And everything she had wanted to say about Zoe, everything she had been building up to—it all died in the back of her throat.
Because the last thing he needed right now was another thing to feel guilty about.
"I have feelings for her, Sora. I always will." He never really wanted to hide that.
He loved Mimi, he knew that and really there was no use in denying it.
"Well, Matt. Aside from your inability to vocalize said feelings, I fail to see the issue." She shrugged.
He really didn't want to be having this conversation, again, especially since he'd had it with Mimi and it that had ended so spectacularly for him. He couldn't imagine it going any other way with Sora.
"Then I guess you don't know me as well as either of us thought you did." He said simply, with the slightest tinge of disappointment.
So slight, but one that rang echoes in Sora's ears.
She opened her mouth to argue against the claim, fully ready to rebuke it with evidence of how well she knew the blonde and maybe she had dropped the ball on this particular subject but it didnt mean she didn't know him.
She had been prepared to say all that and more, but something a little more pressing managed to catch her eye.
The sight of an all too familiar beautiful brunette, laughing much to carefreely on the arm of a very well known green-eyed soccer star.
Matt, who didn't bother hiding his disgust, just let out a dry laugh. "What did I tell you." He jutted a chin out towards the pair.
And without another word, he collected his things and got up, ignoring Sora's hushed protests and calls begging him to come back.
-x-
Mimi wasn't a particularly early riser, nor was she one to be punctual. In fact, she barely made it to class on time, which was why she had yet to step foot in the dining hall for breakfast. But Tai, who could barely roll out of bed at noon, had insisted they get breakfast together, urging how important it was.
She had no idea what he was up to, knowing the wild haired brunette it couldn't be anything good, but she also knew better than to refuse him. Taii was nothing if not persistent.
So, that was why she was awake an hour before she needed to be, waiting at an empty courtyard side table with a croissant and a half cold cup of coffee. She had thought that by being ten minutes late she might have given Tai a head start, but nope, he was still nowhere to be seen.
What was worse was he never answered his phone, he was really the hardest person to get a hold of sometimes.
She wasn't surprised when Ryo Akiyama sidled over to her, dropping into the empty seat across from her. "You know, I heard somewhere that pretty girls should never be seen eating alone." He mentioned.
Mimi cracked a smile, "And they say chivalry is dead." She gave him a playful eye-roll.
"I thought you said you weren't big on breakfast?"
She nodded, "I'm not." She said.
"Well, it is the most important meal of the day..."
"Aren't you just an encyclopedia of knowledge today."
"Isn't it impressive?"
"If I said no would it crush you?" She laughed.
"Devastate me, actually." He said through sparkling emerald eyes and an easy smile.
Mimi felt a slight blush rise in her neck, he was dangerously charming and it didn't take a lot for the short lived feelings she'd had for him to resurface. He was really easy to like. "I'm sure you say that to all the girls." She murmured.
The smile dropped a bit, "You know, I think after all this time you can safely assume there aren't any other girls." He sounded a little annoyed, she didn't blame him.
From day one she'd been stringing him along, pulling him in and pushing him away. It was terribly unfair.
Mimi averted her hazel eyes, "I was joking." She said quietly.
He pulled hand through his hair, "It's just a little frustrating, you know?" He admitted. "I felt like we were...vibing. And all of a sudden, it's like you're on this whole other wavelength and I just don't ever really know where I stand with you."
Mimi's eyes widened, she had not been expecting this conversation.
From his perspective, she was playing him hot and cold completely. Going on a date with him one day to ignoring his texts the next. Giving him a little then taking four steps back.
But what could she say?
She could tell him the truth, but it was just so...gut wrenching.
She didn't even want to say it out loud, didn't want to validate it with words. She didn't want to make what happened real. She wanted to ignore it, move on from it, act like it never occured, and eventually things would go back to normal, wouldn't they?
"I…I know I haven't been very fair to you." She started.
He deserved some kind of explanation, that was for sure.
He didn't say anything, just looked at her expectantly.
"And I am sorry for that." She said sincerely. "I didn't take you very seriously at first, but I think you've proven yourself to be beyond your reputation."
He nodded imperceptibly, getting a sense of where this conversation might be headed.
"I...I do like you, Ryo." She admitted, "More than I ever thought I would, which is why this is really hard." She sighed.
"It's okay, I get it." He reached over and put a hand over her knuckles.
Her eyes snapped up, "What do you mean?" She dared to look at him.
He held her with a steady jade gaze, "Don't worry about explaining yourself, I kind of think I should have known what I was getting into from the beginning." He scratched the back of his neck.
She just stared at him, confused.
"I mean you and Ishida, that's like fucking epic or some shit, right? Written in the stars and all that." He gave a humorless laugh, "Did I really even have a chance?"
"Ryo...it's not like that." She wanted to sound firm about it, assured, even, but all that came out was frailty and feebleness.
Even now, after he had shown her that her feelings were completely in vain, Mimi couldn't shake him.
She should have been more assertive, more sure of herself, should have fought for Ryo the way he had been doing for her. But she just couldn't.
Even after everything Matt had done lately, she couldn't do that to him.
It was sick, really, the hold he had over her heart.
She hated him and loved him in equal measure, all the time.
It was a constant struggle, trying to find some kind of livable balance between the two thinly lined emotions.
He gave her a crooked smile, "Nah, I never had a shot." He concluded.
"I never meant—
Her words were soon cut off by a looming figure, "Sorry I'm late, Meems. Apple really needs to make a better alarm because I swear I didn't hear a thing." He excused.
Mimi, who barely had time to get out of the conversation, just mustered up a glare to give him.
But anyone who knew him would never bet on Tai being timely, so this came as no shock. "I've got class in twenty minutes." She glowered.
He just gave her a puppy dog smile, "Akiyama, I think you're in my seat." He greeted his teammate.
Ryo shook his head, "Yeah, yeah. You're lucky we're about done here." And Mimi didn't miss the hidden message either.
A part of her really wished things didn't end this way, she had genuine feelings for Ryo and he had turned out to be such a great guy. But another part of her knew that there was no other way for things to turn out.
Her and Yamato had been inevitable.
Sometimes, she thought the worst decision she ever made was moving back.
"I'll see you at practice, Kamiya." Ryo grabbed his phone and keys off the table. "Mimi, I'll see you around." He tipped his head to her, meeting her eyes for the briefest of seconds before he was gone.
Tai plopped down in the vacated seat, "You still want this?" He pointed at Mimi's untouched croissant.
She rolled her eyes pointedly. "So, what do you want?" She asked, pushing the plate towards him.
"Well, that's a rude way to say hello." He pouted.
"Actually what's rude is that you kept me waiting for over twenty minutes after you promised me that you would be on time."
"Ah, come on." He stuffed half the croissant in his mouth. "I apologized for that, I swear I set like seven alarms and I slept through each one!" He was outraged, but she was not surprised.
Tai could sleep through an earthquake.
Mimi rested her chin on her knuckles, "Well, what's up?" She asked, glancing at her watch.
"Just wanted to check in, see how you're doing an all that."
She looked weirded out. "Huh, since when?" She asked with slight suspicion.
"I don't, Ishida-gate and all. I just figured maybe you wanted to talk."
Mimi balked at him, "Well, that was direct." She said.
"We're low on time, right?" He shrugged. "Besides, you know I'm not one for small talk."
"I'm fine, Tai. It's nice of you to check in, but things are going pretty well in my life right now." Lie, it was such a lie.
But she was trying to make it seem believable.
"Oh come on, Tachikawa. Like I can't see through that b.s." He was almost offended.
"Well, what else do you want me to say?"
"I don't know, the truth? You guys are so melodramatic, why is it so hard to talk to your friends about something that's bothering you?" He couldn't relate to this sort of trepidation when it came to facing the reality of a situation.
He didn't live life that way, being afraid of saying or doing something because of the consequences.
And he never did understand how people could be so scared of the admitting the truth. And he was especially frustrated with this tepidness from Mimi—who was normally so vocal about her feelings.
Mimi looked at him through blazing hazel eyes and furrowed brows, he was right, she shouldn't feel this incessant need to hide how she was feeling just to protect Matt. She didn't want her friends to feel like they had to pick sides or they had to hate Matt for treating her kind of poorly. She wanted things to stay as normal as they could between the four of them, but she was quickly realizing how impossible that was. Anything that one of them did found its way around to the rest, eventually. They were too intertwined to ever separate their lives from one another completely.
"How's he been?" She started softly.
Tai lifted a shoulder, "Moodier, broodier." He answered. "He's really snappy these days, barely leaves his room except for school and work. I hardly ever see him, which I'm sure sounds strange considering we live together. But...Ishida's really good at being alone." He didn't mention his late night visitor.
It didn't feel right, telling Mimi that.
But that didn't mean it felt right not telling her either.
"You know, hearing that just makes me feel worse." She admitted.
"What happened, Mimi? What's going on with you guys?"
She tucked her hair behind her ears, "Things have gotten kind of… confusing, lately. There's feelings there, more than platonic." She felt so naked talking about this, "I don't know, I thought there was more to...things...than there was and now...Matt and I have successfully messed up our entire friendship and I haven't seen or heard from him in weeks." She didn't realize her voice had risen in octaves or how the words had come out strung together in one breath.
"Not since that day at the park where he so tactfully rejected my feelings for him." It came out bitter and angry and she wished she could accept it more gracefully.
But she had never been the girl who dealt with rejection well, mostly because she had such limited experience with it. "And how about how he basically told me that he couldn't be with me because he wasn't ready or he wasn't good enough or some variation on that generic 'it's not you it's me' bull shit. But it took him an all of five seconds to jump right back into bed with Zoe!" She could feel the tight knot in her chest unwinding a little, as she continued.
Tai's eyes widened at what she had just said.
A dry laugh escaped her, "Yeah, I know about that." She said, reading him like a book. "Don't worry, I'm not mad at you. Bro-code, I get it." She seemed mad though.
Maybe not mad, but hurt.
And that was worse where he was concerned. "Meems…" His voice was a little hoarser than he had wanted. "I'm sorry." And he was.
Tai rarely apologized and only if he meant it. And right now, he really, really meant it. He hated seeing Mimi sad, yes, but he hated that he had a part in it even more.
She shook her head, "No, it's fine. It's better, because this is who he is. Auto destructive and self sabotaging and completely masochistic and I really had no business trying to change him." She said firmly.
"You know how he feels about you, hell, I even know how he feels about you and I'm not even supposed to know." Tai argued. "You know Ishida, when he's hell-bent on pushing something away it usually doesn't mean anything except that he's scared." He looked into her eyes.
"Scared? Yeah right."
"Come on, am I the only one that gets that? He's never had anyone in his life he's cared about so much, except maybe his own mom and I think we can all see how great that turned out, do you blame him for not wanting to repeat a lifetime worth of disappointment?" And he said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You terrify him, Mimi."
But the revelation stunned Mimi to the core.
"M-me? But why would he be—
"Because, Mimi. It's you." He said simply. "Why wouldn't he be?"
-x-
When Tai and Sora reconvened later that week, the redhead was sure that he would come back with a whole bunch of excuses and absolutely no new information.
However, as he often did when she least expected, Tai shocked her.
"Wait, so she's known about Zoe this whole time?" She was practically incredulous, almost horrified at the thought.
Tai nodded, "Yeah, kinda sucked being there for that." He sighed.
Sora rubbed a hand over her face, "You, you didn't tell her I knew, did you?" She would never want Mimi to feel betrayed in that way.
She had always been uneasy about keeping the information as a secret from the brunette, but Tai had asked her not to say anything and she didn't want to break her word. She also didn't want to be the one to shed light on it.
Tai looked at her as if she had sprouted a second head, "Why would I ever sell you out like that?" He was appalled. "Of course I didn't, she didn't even ask."
Sora let out a breath of relief, "I know you wouldn't, I just…" She felt like shit for keeping something like that from her best friend.
"I wouldn't do that to you, Sora." He reiterated.
She just nodded, auburn eyes a little sheepish.
"Anyway, she was keeping it together, putting on a good face. But it was so transparent and I really hated seeing her like that." He had joked his way through it, it's how he dealt with most things that were out of his depth. But the look on her face cut him to the core all the same.
"Matt's so guarded, more than ever. And it's like nothing I said could get through to him. He's got his mind made up, he thinks this is just a passing phase for her and she'll be on to the next guy after being underwhelmed by him." She sighed. "And you know Matt, once he falls down that self-deprecation rabbit hole, it's basically impossible to pull him out."
"Tch." Tai clicked his tongue. "He's a scared little bitch is what he is." He scoffed.
Sora, who looked horrified at his language and the insinuation equally, just ogled at him.
"What?" Tai shrugged. "Anyway, that's all I got time for, Red. I've got practice. Coach has us running two a days this week for our big game on Saturday." He told her with marked distaste
It wasn't that Tai minded practice, in fact most of the time he preferred having it. But two a days were a drag; even he didn't like kicking around a ball that much.
Sora nodded. "No of course, you should go." She smiled.
"You're coming on Saturday, yeah?"
"I wouldn't miss it." She assured him.
He grinned. "Just what I wanted to hear." He said dropping a kiss on her forehead. "I'll text you."
"See you, Tai."
He had only gotten a few feet when he turned around. "Hey, let's try to get Ishida to the game on Saturday." He suggested brightly. "It'll be good for him to get out. Plus who knows, it might even force him and Mimi to talk."
"That's true, I'll work on him." She nodded.
He gave her a departing smile, one that was different than his usual smirks and smart alec grins and Sora shook off the heated blush that crept up her neck.
Stupid Tai.
-x-
As Mimi walked into the building, taking the familiar steps up to the loft, she mentally listed off the millions of reasons she regretted picking Taichi Kamiya as her english partner.
It wasn't that Tai was stupid (though he sure did make her question that from time to time), he was actually really insightful when he put that brain of his to use. It was more that he did everything at the eleventh hour, and she supposed that his efficiency under pressure was the exact reason why he had been (and still was) such a good leader, but it just wasn't how she liked to do things.
Especially her assignments, she was one of the rare people who didn't like putting her work off until the night before. She liked doing it and getting it out of the way as soon as possible so she could enjoy the rest of her time without feeling like there was a damn noose hanging over her.
But Tai…
If she hadn't been trying to chase him down for the last week to get him to work on this, she would have never agreed to coming to the loft. She hadn't stepped foot there in weeks, since…
Well, that was better left not thought about.
Point being, if she wasn't so incredibly desperate to get this assignment done, she wouldn't be here right now.
No way, no how.
That plus the fact that Tai had provided her with tangible evidence that 'he-who-must-not-be-named' wouldn't be around in the form of his work schedule.
She rang the doorbell, waiting for someone to answer it (and that someone had better be Tai if the brunette had any sense of self-preservation)
When she heard no shuffling on the other end, her impatience got the best of her, crouching down on her knees as she dug out the key under the welcome mat.
As soon as she opened the door, she regretted it with immensity, a wave of nostalgia and pangs of longing washing over her like a thunderstorm.
It even smelled the same and it made her stomach churn.
"Tai." She called, her voice shaky.
She called his name a few more times through the house, putting her bag down on the couch as she wandered into the kitchen. But before she could get herself a bottle of water from the fridge her eyes fell on the counter, a barrage of memories following the mistaken glance.
She checked her phone, making sure that her sense of time hadn't escaped her, it was actually one p.m, right? Could Tai really still be sleeping?
Well, that was a silly question, of course he could be. Especially since it was Friday and she knew he didn't have classes today.
As the minutes ticked by, Mimi's irritation grew.
"Tai!" She yelled, while she had been purposely avoiding going towards the bedrooms, she realized she had no choice.
She threw open Tai's door with a vengeance, fully ready to give Tai a piece of her mind when her eyes fell on the back of a blonde head who had been in the middle of pulling her pants up.
Her screams mingled with that of the unknown blonde and Mimi ran from the room faster than a bat out of hell.
And the most unsurprising part of the entire ordeal was that Taichi had not even flinched at the commotion.
As Mimi caught her breath, she looked up to see a familiar red faced Catherine emerging from Tai's room. She looked at Mimi through sheepish eyes and gave her a half hearted grin. "Sorry about that, overslept."
Mimi could see the uncomfortableness coming off the girl in waves and a little part of her was kind of elated. "Been seeing a lot of Tai lately huh, Cat?" She arched an eyebrow, taking a seat on the couch.
Catherine rubbed the back of her neck, "Here and there." She answered noncommittally.
Mimi crossed her hands over her knee, "Pretty rare for him, huh?" She was grinning like a cheshire cat watching the girl squirm.
It wasn't that Mimi had anything personal against Catherine, it was just that she was best friends with Zoe (who she really couldn't stomach these days) which was why she was enjoying her discomfort way more than she should have.
The girl bounced from foot to foot awkwardly, "I guess..." Her eyes darted between Mimi and the door.
"I mean...revolving door." She made a circular motion with her finger. "And you know with the game tomorrow night and all, I'm sure he'll be in fine form at the party."
"I...yeah, you know Tai. He loves to celebrate."
"Does it bother you?"
Catherine's eyes widened, "Um, well." The answer was more than obvious, of course it bothered her, it was written all over her face. "I don't love seeing him with other girls, but what can I do." She shrugged.
"Not let him use you as his Plan B." Mimi suggested, shrugging back.
"Well, it's not like that—I mean, it's not like I want to be with him or something." She said with such marked unsurity that Mimi felt like she had to hold back a laugh.
The old mean girl in her itching to rear her ugly head.
"I'm just saying, you know? I love Tai but he's using you and I wouldn't let him treat me that way if I was you."
"Look, it's just how things are with guys like Tai. He's not looking for anything serious and I'm okay with that, alright? So like, just chill." The annoyance had boiled over.
Mimi was a little taken aback by the change in her energy, but kept it off her face. "Whatever you say, C. It's just that in my experience, guys like Tai don't exactly pick the girl who has to sneak out the morning after." She gave her a sweet smile. "The days he spends with you are numbered."
"Sounds to me like you aren't really talking about Tai anymore." Catherine retorted in a clipped tone.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that all this 'advice' seems a little misdirected."
Mimi narrowed her eyes at the blonde. "Stop being so vague, Cat. Spit it out." She challenged.
Catherine bristled, but remained undeterred. "Come on, M. Do I have to spell it out for you?" She rolled her eyes. "Everyone knows about Z and Matt, everyone kinda also knows about you and Matt…" She trailed off. "And since you were nice enough to give me your two cents, here are mine: he's exactly like the rest of them, stop trying to make him something he isn't."
-x-
Yamato marveled at Sora's powers of persuasion, and that was saying something because he was friends with Mimi.
Who had some kind of magical power when it came to getting her way.
Because somehow, the redhead had managed to get him not only to Tai's game but had him standing up and cheering along with her, as well as jeering at the other team. If he was honest though, he had missed this.
Not the game, persey, but just being around people—not being by himself.
He liked his solitude, but he also knew how dangerous of a place his mind could be.
He met Sora's gaze, silently trying to convey his gratitude to her.
He knew he wasn't the easiest person to deal with, and he was sure that his tendency to shut himself off could be frustrating at best, but she never gave up on him and he really did appreciate her for that.
She gave him a smile, the kind that always made him feel warm.
Affectionately, he put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his chest. "You're a really good friend, Sor." He mentioned.
Sora laughed, "Well, it takes one to know one, Ishida." She winked.
But he didn't feel like he had been much of a friend to her, or much of anything to anyone lately really.
His eyes fell on a brunette in a mini skirt, somersaulting on the sideline. Something familiar bubbled up in his stomach, making its way to his throat.
He swallowed down the lump and removed his gaze.
But God, it was hard, because she was so fucking beautiful.
Even from up here, she was shining.
Shining like the sun and the moon and all the stars.
And like the sun, she was blinding.
To stare at her too long would be a sin.
But surely, looking away had to be a sin as well.
Sora let out a dry chuckle, elbowing Matt and jutted her chin out towards the sideline. Zoe was looking back at him, bambi eyes fluttering as she blew a playful kiss in his direction.
Matt didn't even crack a smile in acknowledgement.
"What's the deal with that, anyway?" Sora asked casually.
"Ah fuck! Foul!" Matt yelled in aggravation as he saw Tai limp back up from the grass. "Hmm? What did you say?" He turned to her.
Sora sighed, "Nothing." She shook her head.
It wasn't the time or place.
"The score is 3-2, Tigers, with just over a minute left to play." The announcer commentated excitedly. "And we're just waiting for the refs to stop deliberating over a foul call for Kamiya."
The referee came back down the field, before stopping and making a motion. "Oh! Looks like there's no foul, the ball goes to the Bulldogs and our Tigers will assume their positions in the field."
"Bullshit! That was a foul!" Matt jeered.
Sora caught Mimi's eye, waving at her furiously, the brunette returned the enthusiasm with a little jump and giggle.
Matt tried really hard not to look at the display, but he failed miserably.
Could there ever be a time where Mimi didn't command his attention in some capacity?
"Twenty seconds left and it's Tiger ball! Now normally, we would expect the boys to run down the clock but with Tai Kamiya you never know what to expect!" The announcer was on the edge of his seat. "And Kamiya kicks it out, finds Akiyama open with a clear line to the goal! And there he goes, the speed and tenacity that Akiyama is known for on full display as he barrels through defenders—AND THAT'S THE KICK!"
The ball sailed into the goal as the clock buzzed to end the game.
-x-
Mimi was walking back from the locker room, freshly showered and changed into comfortable sweats. She knew there was a party or two tonight, but she didn't feel like going. She wasn't sure why (actually, she knew exactly why), but normally she loved the after parties following a win. Everyone was so charged and buzzing with good energy, but she just didn't want to tonight.
She didn't want to be fake nice to Zoe, or be on the receiving end of frosty glares from Catherine all night.
She just wanted to get into bed with a pint of ice cream and watch stupid movies until she passed out.
She pulled her jacket a little tighter around herself, as the breeze picked up a little. Everyone was going to the party tonight, even Sora, so she would have the room to herself. Which she didn't particularly enjoy. She loved having Sora around, she was like her other half at this point.
But Sora had obligations to her boyfriend and Mimi understood that.
Sometimes, most of the time, really, she wished she could go back to the way things were. Because tonight, she would have loved to go to the loft, snuggle into the couch with a warm blanket and watch stupid movies with Matt while he critiqued everything about them.
She thought that time would make things easier, that not seeing him for a while would make things easier. But it didn't. She felt the same emptiness gnawing at her insides, slithering around her body and making her cold. She missed him more and more and during times like this, it was almost unbearable.
Her life without him felt empty and hollow, like someone had taken a knife and cut out vital parts of her. And she felt the knife twisting relentlessly, with every repressed knee jerk reaction to text him and with every memory of him she pushed away. It was the kind of pain that she felt in waves, all at once and without warning. And when she was alone with her thoughts, all she could do was dwell on everything that had gone wrong. And the mound of regret that was threatening to crush her.
She knew she could go over there, tell him that they could forget everything and just go back to the way things were before. That she would never bring it up again and they could just pretend like this never happened. It would be the easy way out, a quick fix that worked for everyone. And she knew Matt of all people would actually be capable of doing just that.
But she just couldn't.
Not with the way she felt.
Not after he had been with Zoe.
It was impossible.
So she made her way back to the dorms, silent tears wetting her cheeks as she tried to ignore how miserable she was without him.
Except when she got to her dorm she realized that all her plans of curling up in bed with her PJ's on and a straight-to-netflix movie, were not going to happen. Because standing there, dressed in a casual black Henley and dark jeans was none other than Tai Kamiya and the look on his face told her he would not be denied.
"Good game, Tai." She smiled, fixing to put her key in the lock of her door.
"Yeah, I perform under pressure pretty well." He smirked at her.
She ignored whatever innuendo he was trying to make and continued through her dorm room door.
Of course, he followed her inside. "So you want to watch The Kissing Booth with me, is that why you're here?" She asked, with her back to him.
Tai chuckled, "Why watch it when I can live it." He said easily, throwing himself down on Sora's bed.
"Well then, why are you here Tai?" Mimi asked sweetly, as she set her things down and shuffled around the room aimlessly.
"Coz there's a party." He folded his hands behind his head.
"So I've heard." She said disinterestedly.
"Of course you've heard, you're Mimi Tachikawa, what party could be thrown without your knowledge?"
"Agreed, that still doesn't explain what you're doing here." She hated when Tai tried to talk in circles, he wasn't good at it.
"Well, I'm waiting for you, duh. So we can make an appearance together." He stated as if it were meant to be obvious.
Mimi rolled her eyes, "Not going to the party, Tai. I told you already." She had told him multiple times, in fact, that she wouldn't be there.
But it wouldn't be Tai if he took a hint.
"Yes, yes. So you've said. But Meems, one of the beautiful things about you picking me in your stupid little fantasy boy draft was that I had a date for athletic event, a platonic date, who would never cock block me but also allowed me to go to these things with someone."
"One little snag, Kamiya. That's for official school sanctioned events, which a party at the soccer house hardly counts as."
"Fine print. Which you know I don't read." He waved her off. "Now get dressed, let's go. You know I won't leave til you come with me, so just make this easy on both of us and—
"Seriously, I don't wanna go."
"Seriously, I don't care." He sat up. "Come on, since when do you mope over a guy?"
She narrowed her eyes at him. "FYI—this has nothing to do with him." But even Tai knew that was a lie.
He made sure she knew that too.
She sighed, "Fine. But then do I really need to tell you that being around the girl he's screwing around with and her horrible friends isn't something I want to do. And I shouldn't have to." She put her hands on her hips, glaring at him because he was bedmates with one of said horrible friends.
Tai stood up, "I get it, okay?" He said softly. "It sucks and you're right, you shouldn't have to." He agreed. "But you're Mimi fucking Tachikawa and no one has ever told you what to do or where to go. So you need to walk into the house like you own the damn place and show them all that this is just what you do." His eyes were all fire and Mimi totally understood now.
Why Tai had always made such a good leader.
He knew what to say when it mattered.
And even still, under all the charming grins and the skirt chasing and the playboy motif, was him—the same Tai who had rallied them together to fight for their lives.
She felt herself smiling, despite the mood she was in. "You think that's what I do?" She asked shyly.
"Are you freaking kidding?" He looked at her as if she'd grown a second head. "Have you seen yourself?"
Mimi ducked her head, a blush coating her cheeks. "I suppose it would look weak if I let Izumi Orimoto chase me out of a perfectly good party." She muttered.
"There we go." He clapped. "Almost there."
"But I have absolutely nothing to wear." She said ruefully, walking over to her closet. "This could take a few hours." She threw him a wicked smile over her shoulder.
The grin fell off his face. "Don't make me carry you out in your sweats, Tachikawa." He growled.
Mimi laughed harder. "Just kidding, gimme ten."
-x-
The party was the same, all the same old faces, usual places. And for someone who enjoyed social events, she was already wishing she hadn't come.
Tai had stuck true to his promise of not leaving her side tonight, his gesture of moral support and Mimi was actually grateful because he made the whole thing so much more comfortable. Plus, it was a tad flattering, not just because Tai had played phenomenally tonight and was therefore more VIP than usual but also because Taichi Kamiya passed up a night of debauchery and easy pickings.
For her.
She had assured him she would be fine on her own, but he was stuck to her like glue.
Mimi had begun to feel herself loosen up an hour into the night and she was actually starting to enjoy herself but she should have known it was way too good to last.
They were standing around the keg in the kitchen, Tai had been in the middle of a hilarious story of the time Ryo had gotten all of his personal belongings stolen by a girl he had met in Ibiza and had to go to the Spanish embassy in his underwear.
"Well, I don't think trusting a girl you met in a strip club was the wisest decision to begin with." Sora laughed.
"How did you even get back into the country?" Mimi wondered.
Ryo shook his head. "My dad…" He grumbled. "It wasn't my finest hour."
Everyone laughed at his expense as Ryo threw expletives and bodily threats in Tai's direction.
"Ken." Sam perked up, removing his arms from around the redhead's shoulders.
Mimi watched him leave, following his every move across the room and it was as if the next moments happened in slow motion. Behind Ken, walked in the last person she had expected to see at a soccer house party.
Yamato Ishida.
And in her shock, she couldn't wrench her gaze away fast enough—not nearly fast enough to avoid catching those turbulent ocean eyes.
Her heart leapt into her throat, a wave of sobriety washing over her, stomach in knots as she felt the need to throw up.
Tai met Mimi's eyes briefly, she gave him the slightest nod.
Sora sidled over to her. "We can leave, M. Say the word." She whispered.
But Mimi wasn't sure what was happening, it was as if she had left this stream of consciousness.
She hadn't seen Matt, really seen him, in weeks.
It felt like years.
Lifetimes, even.
Mimi hadn't realized how badly she had needed to, until this very moment.
And she was surely a glutton for punishment—because she wanted the one thing that had burned her.
She wanted him bad.
And he would probably end up killing her.
Setting her to flames and swallowing her whole.
But she didn't care.
Tai greeted Matt with a cup and a handshake. "Glad you're back in the land of the living." He slapped Matt on the back. "Been worried about you." He dropped his voice.
Matt nodded, "I'm alright." His mouth barely moved, but Tai understood him.
"Well, it's getting kinda…cramped in here." Davis announced. "And awkward."
Mimi shot him a dark look.
"Let's move the party to the back out to the living room, shall we?"
Sora looped her arm through Mimi's. "It's gonna be okay." She reassured.
Mimi wasn't sure how much she believed that, but she loved the redhead for trying.
"Oh there you guys are!" Taylor Fujiyama came bouncing over and Mimi wanted to stab her eyes out.
Great, the only thing missing from this three ring circus.
Mimi refused to meet Matt's eyes, and refused to even look in Zoe's direction. She wasn't going to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her sweat.
Not even for a second.
Tai had been right, she was Mimi fucking Tachikawa, and no one would put her in the corner.
Taylor put a hand on Ryo's arm, "Let's all play a game." She suggested brightly, but the mischievous glint in her amethyst eyes told Mimi she had something much more sinister planned.
And the brunette wanted nothing to do with it.
"What kind of game, Fujiyama?" Sam humored her.
She finished the rest of her beer. "Spin the bottle—seven minutes of sin." She looked around, grinning like the cat who caught a mouse.
Mimi made an exaggerated show of rolling her eyes.
"We're not in middle school, T." Tai scoffed.
"Well I don't see you throwing out any better ideas, Kamiya. Besides, we could always play that stupid Ace of Spades game but we all know no one tells the truth anymore so what would be the point." She sneered.
Tai just took a sip of his drink and shrugged.
"It could be fun." Zoe piped up.
"I'm game." Ryo said flippantly. "Not like there's anything else going on."
"I have a girlfriend." Davis opted out.
"Pussy." His teammates jeered.
But that did nothing to dissuade Davis.
"Well, I don't see the harm." Sophia said demurely.
"I'm game if you are." Sam looked at Sora.
The redhead sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. "I…I guess." She unsurely met Mimi's gaze.
"Kamiya?" Ryo raised his brows, silently challenging him.
Knowing that Tai would never turn down a challenge. "Who am I to refuse the ladies what they want, although, if you wanted seven minutes with me Fujiyama all you hadda to was ask. No need for all the pretense." He smirked.
"Seven minutes is a bit ambitious for you, don't you think, Tai?" She said acidly.
Zoe and Catherine agreed to play as did Ken and a few of the other guys on the team and then all eyes fell on the only two people who had yet to commit.
"Ishida?" Tai prompted.
Matt looked around, eyes stopping at the brunette who had yet to acknowledge his presence in any way.
He wasn't sure what possessed him to say it, but something did. "Whatever." It was as much of an affirmative as anyone was going to get from him.
All eyes on you, M.
"What's it gonna be Tachikawa, you in or out?" Taylor asked, venom dripping from her tongue like a viper.
Mimi shook her head, "Sorry, no thanks." She maintained. "Not all that interested in a juvenile, teen drama, cliché." She clicked her tongue, nose upturned.
But Taylor just giggled, her laugh twinkly and light and completely satisfied. "Scared?" She raised an eyebrow.
She looked up, betraying herself as she found her gaze traveling to the one person she should have avoided.
Mimi swallowed hard.
"Fine." She spat.
-x-
They sat on the living room floor, bottle in the middle as was customary.
"Rules are the same as they've always been. Spin the bottle and the person it lands on goes with you into the linen closet. Seven minutes, not a second more, not a second less. And that's it."
"We've all played before." Mimi rolled her eyes.
"Well, for those of us who haven't been kissing guys since the seventh grade, I thought I'd explain."
"As if you're anyone to talk about kissing guy—
"You two aren't serious, right?" Ryo interrupted. "Coz if this is gonna turn into a cat fight, I'm out."
That got Taylor to shut up.
Ryo spun first, when the bottle landed on Sophia, no one was more shocked than Taylor. And inwardly, Mimi rejoiced.
She hoped it was enough for Taylor to call the game.
But she knew the bitch and it wasn't how she would go down.
So the two left, they came back and Sophia didn't look mussed and Ryo didn't look fussed and they both maintained that nothing happened but who would ever really know?
And so it continued, Zoe spun and Mimi watched with dread because she was almost certain it would land on Matt (because that had just been the way the night was going) but when it didn't she let out a sigh of relief. Zoe grabbed Takato by the hand, pulling him behind her into the supply closet and whatever happened in there was obvious because he came out with her cherry red lipstick smeared across his cheek.
Catherine hoped and hoped the bottle would stop on Tai and when it didn't she was visibly disappointed, obvious to every person with a pair of eyes except Taichi Kamiya.
Sam was next and she was sure he must have spelled the bottle because it miraculously landed on Sora and the two never really came back for the rest of the game...
And then it was Matt's turn, and Mimi felt her heart rattling against her ribcage, beating like a hummingbird's wings.
It spun and spun and spun.
Matt watched it, practically mesmerized, as the bottle made its rounds, slower and slower and slower.
Until it stopped.
"Well, isn't this an interesting turn of events…" Taylor said silkily.
Mimi stared at the mouth of the bottle, pointing right at her knees.
-x-
A/N: Apologies? I feel like none of my excuses even count for anything anymore LOL, I'm just sorry for being terrible but hey at least I'm reliably terrible, right? I mean, I feel like at this point alot of you guys have been with me for damn near ten years (Holy hell that's a long time) so you kind of know my updates are sporadic and totally unreliable. But like...they eventually always happen, right? And I mean, this chapter was WAAAAY longer than usual, you know, so like potentially it was worth the wait? Right? :(
Don't hate me.
And tell me what you thought.
This chapter was a struggle, not in terms of content really but more like … I'm not even sure how to explain it, but like I STRUGGLED HONEY. I can admit it.. Anywho, I gave a lot of Tai in this one (i love him so much) and for those of you who enjoy that (which like who doesn't?) this will be a fun read. But yeah, lemme know how you feel about the chapter and what you wanna see next and all that.
Also, it wouldn't be me if I didn't end on a cliffhanger so like...who's really surprised? I feel like no one.
Anywaysss…
Onto the reviews!
Wait, also, there's an exit poll at the end of this chapter so PLEASEEEEEE answer that if you can :D
Now really onto the Chapter 17 Reviews:
OnceUponAnOriginal: Hi! Thanks for always reading and reviewing so faithfully! I'm sorry ch17 made your heart hurt lol but yaknow it had to be done. Can't wait to hear what you thought of this chapter! Hope to hear from you soon!
Tangy: Omg I'm so happy you loved the chapter, it was so easy to write (unlike this one) and I'm sorry it made you cry. I feel like the situation Matt and Mimi are in is sooooo relatable, I know I've been in this situation once or twice myself—and it's never an easy thing to deal with. But it does get easier and one way or another you realize what you both want and it hurts when it isn't what you want (in Mimi's case) but I've always felt that there is a sense of relief that comes with admitting your feelings. I hope you like this chapter, I can't wait to hear your thoughts on it! Good luck with everything that's going on with you, I know I fell in love with my best friend in college and even though we didn't work out at THAT moment (which sucked), I ended up marrying him :) So, as they say, timing is everything! Don't lose hope :)
Hozjanivan252: Hiiii, omg I can't even believe that you think so highly of my writing, I'm so honored and humbled and flattered and ugh thank you soooo much. I find it hilarious how you happened upon my story, I love it lmao. Honestly, to hear that this made you a little bit more hopeful about something you're going through really makes all this so worth it for me, I'm so glad my writing could be even the tiniest bit of help to someone. It honestly is everything. I hope you continue to read and let me know what you thought of this chapter! Thank you again for such kind words, it's reviews like this that make me so happy I never stopped writing. You're amazing.
MissImprobablePrincess: Hi! I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying the story. I know what you mean about trying to find good stories, but the talent coming out of the Mimato writers recently has been SOOOOO GOOD! Like, some of these authors are masterful story tellers and it just makes me so happy to be part of this community, large or small. It's so funny how many of you guys are saying that you really related to Mimi in this chapter and how the situation between her and Yamato is so similar to what you're going through/have gone through. I thought it was just me, LOL. Thank you so much for taking the time out to read and review my work, I hope to hear your thoughts on this chapter soon!
Isabel Nightray: LOL at Merry Christmas because it's been so long since I updated, I'm the worst lmao. You know I love hearing from you though, your reviews are always one of my faves. Ahhh I love hearing that you thought the confrontation between them was good, I was so invested in it. Angsty, will they/won't they, semi-unrequited, sorta tragic love stories is kinda where I thrive lmao, Idk what that says about me but I love writing those type of moments. Yeah, I mean, I feel like with Yamato—you never know. Because he is a guy but he is emotional and like even though he doesn't show it, he's super cut up over the whole Mimi situation. I wanted to give Ryo more of a chance but I just felt like the more Mimi started to like him (and us by default) the harder it would be to realistically end the relationship, so I kind of just took him outta the game early (pun fully intended LOL) Anyways, I can't wait to hear what you thought of this chapter, it's so Tai heavy and YOU LOVE TAI, so I feel like you'll have some feedback lmao. Thanks for always supporting me and this story, Idk what I'd do without you and everyone else who always reads and reviews! Hope to hear from you sooooon!
Angelic Moonlight: Hii, firstly, I just love how you were so surprised by my timely update LOL, I'm sure you were equally unsurprised that I didn't update for months until now (whoops)
Haha, yeah the last chapter was super angst heavy, if you've read any of my other stuff then you'll know it's my niche, I'm all about the angst lmao. Aww, thank you! Writing Yamato has actually always been something I've struggled with because I feel like I need to choose my words so carefully to fully convey what I'm trying to get across and it can get hard sometimes. Introspective Yamato, especially. But music is my muse, always has been, and miraculously a song always finds me that just completely allows me to write everything I need to say. Omg writing Taiora (and Tai in general) is so fun for me, its a good break from the usual angst and melodrama, haha. Since January has come and gone, I really hope you did well on your exam and don't have to worry about any future exams (at least for the summer—well, it's summer where I live, anyway) and are enjoying yourself! Thank you for always reading and reviewing (despite my unreliable updates) and supporting this story. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this chapter!
Midori Aoi: Yes! You were so right! You knew the blow out was coming, when I read your last review I was like yeppp...she's gonna hate me LOL. Awwwww, thank you, I'm so happy to hear you loved it though, honestly that chapter was probably my personal favorite so far in terms of content and quality. Thank you so much for your kind words on my writing, it means the world to me and I'm so humbled to hear that you think that.
LOL MATT HAS NO CHILL (dead!), he really doesn't. He's like all about the moment and he's a total guy in that scene where he's like, eff the consequences, I can't hold out anymore. I think once he got a little air he could think clearer about what would have been the ramifications if they would've gone all the way.
Anddddd you're right again, about Matt and the ultimatums and how they only push him further away (which that's exactly what happened). As soon as he feels like there's pressure to make an all/nothing decision, he bolts. Also, clearly, so spot on about Yama and his guilt and him taking the blame all on to himself (are you in my brain? Or am I predictable? LOL)
Thailand was absolutely gorgeous, I wanna go back so bad. It was the best trip ever, everything about it was perfect, 10/10 would recommend. Thank you so much for your kind words and your heartfelt congratulations, it's much appreciated. As always, thank you for reading and reviewing and keeping up with me and my crappy updating. I hope you're still interested and that you read this chapter and let me know how it was! Looking forward to hearing from you soon!
Angelxchild: Hiiii, omg thank you! I'm glad the chapter had it's intended effect, I wanted it to be one of those. I'm sorry this update came so late, I'm going to try to be better with it! I hope this chapter was up to expectations, let me know what you thought and how you feel about Tai and Sora's mission impossible so far! Are they making any progress ;) As always, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this latest chapter!
Guest (1): LOL, i love the opener. Just like a whole goddamnit, I feel you. He's just soooo frustrating. I can see how it might be unsettling and out of character a bit, but i've got a plan ;) Yeah, I kind of feel like that was how I was when I was in a similar situation, just cut the guy off and immerse myself in everything that wasn't him. So i kind of tried to work off that. I'm curious to hear what you thought of this chapter, given it was rather Tai (and Sora) heavy, how do you think they're doing so far? Thanks for taking the time out to read and review, looking forward to hearing from you!
Guest (2): Hi, thank you for the kind words of encouragement! Glad to know that you're enjoying the story so far! Maybe they'll get a happy ending eventually (hehe) thank you for reading and reviewing, hope to hear what you thought of this chapter!
As always, thank you to everyone who takes the time out to read and review and keep up with my lame attempts at updating and writing. You guys are awesome and amazing and you make everything about this experience so special and worth it. I don't deserve any of you!
See you next time!
EXIT POLL: As of this chapter, who do you think is doing a better job at trying to reunite Mimito, TAI or SORA? Let me know in your review :D