A/N: Hey guys sorry this took so long to post, I wanted to re-read the previous chapters again and make sure there wasn't something I wanted to change. I did end up changing this chapter a little to push the story forward and create a little more conflict. Also, I haven't posted bi-weekly or weekly as promised as I recently just got a promotion. I am working two jobs at the moment and every time I have a few moments to read over this chapter I keep changing stuff, and then don't want to post until I have re-read it again. Really sorry. It's all written I am just being overbearing. Anyway, thanks for the patience R&R.
Entry VII
I remember that moment in the snow, like a delicate ripple on the surface of a pond, we stood amongst the white covered hills of the countryside and expressed words of love. I said it in the heat of the moment, but as I have taken to the habit of looking back over my life while I write out this story, I know now that back then I was speaking the truth. I did love him, but I didn't understand it. I wanted to hide from my feelings, from the truth of what was happening between us. It was all moving too fast and I didn't know how to slow it all down, nor did I want to.
To this day there are so many things I wish I had done differently, yet I'd not change anything at all. Standing in the snowy landscape, his arms around me, our cores burning and hearts beating I felt at peace and a certain level of calm came to me. It was such a perfect moment and after we went inside it only grew more intimate.
It was that evening that I allowed myself to really get to know the man. We sat on a white fur rug, shoes, and socks drying by the fireplace as we enjoyed hot chocolate. I pressed him for anything he would give, and Vlad gave to me so willingly. My defenses were down, and I was totally at the mercy of that evening.
I recall the darkness, only fire giving light, and the heat of his stare, the feel of his hands so freely touching me, the sound of his laugh and the feel of his lips. It was, one might say, the perfect night. I asked questions and he answered, I worried and he soothed me with kisses, I questioned my very existence and his voice brought me comfort.
Vlad had been a lot of things in the past, but a terrible or inconsiderate lover he was not. I could not fathom for the life of me how he had fallen in love with me, I couldn't understand what changed and I feared to allow myself to be so thoroughly wrapped around his finger that he could break my heart in two.
Little did I know, the part of Vlad that I feared the most, the selfish, manipulative and cruel beast I used to have nightmares about would show his face that night and our feelings for each other would be tested. I would be forced to grow up and see the truth of my reality, the truth that nothing is certain, that you can't predict what will happen nor how it will affect your future. I would learn that there is no such thing as absolutes.
While the blizzard raged outside and I had no desire to go back to my dorm, my heart started to beat for him. Vlad would apply pressures I couldn't see until it was too late and I would resist and fight back out of instinct. In the morning I would mentally scream at both him and myself and Vlad would take a rather large step in the wrong direction. We broke each other that night, and it would take months to fix….
Chapter Seven
Betrayal
Danny laughed lightly as he tripped over the entryway and stumbled into the kitchen, Vlad right behind with gentle hands that came to steady him. Danny felt those warm hands, one on his back and the other on an upper arm. Turning his head to offer thanks their eyes met and Danny caught the affection and tender amusement in the man's face. He gave a small smile before placing his lips to Vlad's, "Thanks." he whispered after.
Vlad stood up straight and blushed, a rather odd sight but one Danny enjoyed, "No worries, Little Badger. Now, what would you like for dinner?" Vlad asked crossing to the fridge and opening the door.
"Uhm, actually, I'm not that hungry at the moment. Maybe later?" he asked with a small smile.
"As you wish. How about I make some hot chocolate and we reconvene in the living room?" Danny nodded, "Sure. Want my help?" he asked and Vlad shook his head, "No. Go ahead, the fire should be going, deposit your shoes on the hearth and they should be mostly dry by morning."
Danny nodded and slowly excited the kitchen while Vlad prepared a tray of hot cocoa and snacks. Wandering across the entry hall and into the rather large living room Danny didn't bother with turning on lights. Instead, as he noticed the warm welcoming light of the fire a small smile came to his face. Taking the matchbox from the rather ornate mantel he walked around the room and started to light any candle he found.
There were quite a few, most simply for decoration, but he had a feeling Vlad wouldn't be too upset with him if he cleaned up any messes from the running wax. By the time Vlad joined him Danny was sitting by the fire with his shoes and socks perched close by the heat.
He turned his head when Vlad entered and the man stopped in the doorway, looking around at the rather mythical appearance of the room. The home was modeled after a castle after all, and Vlad spared no expense in keeping with such a theme. Between the large fireplace and the scattering of lit candles, he came to find himself in some great castle hall, filled with the trappings of modern-day and a young man smirking at him calmly over a shoulder.
Vlad chuckled, "The fireplace not enough?" and his feet moved again, coming to set the tray down before the fire as he took a seat and removed his own shoes and socks. Danny noticed the Maximus sitting on the tray as well and he made a note not to forget to use it.
"No. Hope you don't mind. I'll clean up any mess the candles make, promise." Danny offered and Vlad gently set his shoes aside before he ran a hand through Danny's hair, "No worries. I prefer the dim light of the fire to anything brighter."
"Sure you're not a vampire?" Danny tease and Vlad chuckled, "No. Just a man with a little bit of light sensitivity." Vlad mused.
"Why do the lights bother you?" Danny asked as he leaned forward to take up a cup of cocoa as Vlad sighed, "I've never been able to figure it out, honestly. It started after the accident with the proto-portal. The entire time I was in the hospital I suffered from migraines and inflammation to my eyes. I figured it was because the hospital had such bright lights. For seven years I requested the hospital staff keep the lights low. It wasn't until I left and realized most bright lights bother me that I connected it to the accident. Obviously, it's not very serious, I can function during the day and can have the lights on in my home without too much trouble, but over time the pain and headaches build. So, when I have no need for bright lights, I keep them low." Vlad said as he too reached for his drink.
Danny thought about that a moment and then asked, "Why do you seem to have so many bad side effects when I didn't? The migraines you get from too much light, not to mention I came out looking pretty normal after my accident, I mean, compared to my human half. You look so different from your human half, you had ecto-acne, you're ghost half...I mean… you have fangs...why-"
Vlad sighed and looked into the fire as he spoke softly, "The blast I took from the proto-portal was filled with impurities. The portal that turned me was also smaller so the blast was more condensed while your exposure was more even and spread out over your body. And honestly, by the time you were turned, your parents...well...mostly your mother and I don't mean that offensively towards Jack, had worked out the kinks. You received an infusion of clean and filtered ghost juice, so the blending of ghost DNA with your human DNA was far less painful and created far fewer problems for you. I am sure you think your little sojourn into the portal and subsequent explosion while inside felt excruciating but honestly, it took months for the ghost DNA in my body to fuse with my human DNA, and I felt every single second of it. It was like there was another entity inside me, taking me apart molecule by molecule and changing me over the course of nearly two years. And the entire time I felt that pain, the entire time I dealt with doctors that had no clue how to help, while they poked and prodded and studied me like some strange lab rat, my anger swelled and the hurt and betrayal I felt festered. Sometimes I think my anger at the situation I found myself in was part of the reason my ghost half came out so….twisted and strange. I was always angry, even when I was a child before I ever met your parents. It was like that anger was in my DNA from birth. I was never happy, never normal."
"What do you mean? Was your childhood...was it bad?" Danny asked, unsure how to really go about asking such a thing in a delicate way.
"No, not really. My father was strict but he could also have moments of kindness, my mother was...well...she was loud, bold and stubborn. They fought a lot but never hurt each other. Overall, considering how poor we were, they were actually very kind and caring parents."
"What happened to them?" Danny asked.
Vlad glanced at him, gave a small smile and offered, "They died when I was sixteen, car accident. It was rainy and they wanted to pick me up early from school. Rather cliche actually. I was left in the care of my grandmother and I remember the anger grew more intense after that. I could still manage it, I was always able to pull myself back and keep from snapping no matter how bad I wanted to."
"Was your grandmother nice?" Danny asked hopefully.
"She was….adequate. Not mean per se, but she wasn't the affectionate type either. For the most part, she just left me to my own devices and I found my own way. I left for college at eighteen on a scholarship and made it through my first year. I actually felt happy for a short time…" and Vlad trailed off, eyes still staring into the fire as he sat there thinking about his past with a rather unwanted nostalgia.
"Then the accident," Danny said.
"Yes. And my anger grew beyond my control. I couldn't keep a harness on it anymore, and it drove me to do many things that I shall regret for the rest of my life."
Danny glanced at Vlad's haunted face, still staring into the fire unblinkingly, "I...I'm sorry about your parents, Vlad. And I am really sorry you had to suffer for so long on your own."
Vlad finally turned to look at him, "You needn't be sorry. It happened so long ago, and honestly, I am done feeling sorry for it. What happened happened, I can't take it back, I can only try to be better." the man said with a sigh and Danny nodded.
"Vlad?" Danny asked softly and the man gave a small hum in acknowledgment, "Does it feel….better….at all? Not hating my parents, no blaming them so much. I know they were partially to blame….okay….I know they are fully to blame for the accident. But, now that you've...sort of….maybe….a little bit let it go, moved on...does it feel better?" Danny asked nervously, not wanting to spark the man into a rant about how everything was Danny's father's fault.
Vlad took a slow sip from his cup and seemed to think about it a moment before he set his drink aside and looked at the young man next to him, "Yes. I still have moments, where I get angry, where I feel like I lost out on some wonderful life I could have had, but I rise above it, try to appreciate what I have. I realized that given my penchant for anger and isolation, the chances of me ending up like this without the accident...well...they were just as likely, though I don't want to admit it, I know somethings are inevitable."
Danny leaned in and said softly, "But, you're not alone anymore." and he kissed Vlad's lips softly as he smiled.
Vlad closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Danny's, "Would you like to know a secret Daniel?"
And Danny's eyes caught Vlad's as they opened and an earnest expression could be seen hidden in those darker blue eyes, "I've never been so happy as I am now. I'd go through it all again, everything. The pain, the loneliness, and the heartache if it meant I could have these little moments with you. The ache has left me, I would no longer change anything as long as I knew, after all the torture, pain and anger, I could have you, just like this."
Vlad leaned in and kissed him again, hands coming to cup the young man's face as he did before gently pulling Danny closer and humming so softly.
Their lips brushed softly as Vlad whispered, "Forever, Daniel." and through the haze of enjoyment and calm a thought came to him and Danny pulled away, bringing knees to his chest and wrapping arms around as he felt a heavy dread come to his stomach, "Daniel, what is it? Have I upset you?" Vlad asked with a nervous uncertainty.
"No. It's not you."
"Than what is it, please, tell me." Vlad asked, moving to sit more comfortably next to the young man and place an arm across Danny's shoulders, "Vlad, I need to...I need to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me."
"Of course. I promise." Vlad said softly.
"Are we, are you and I….can we...can we die?" Danny asked, eyes locked onto his toes as he waited and the silence that greeted him was heavy, and his stomach twisted more.
Vlad finally answered and the response was ungodly soft, "Yes, Daniel, we can die. Why do you ask?"
"Cause part of us is a ghost. And they exist...I mean...some of them have been around for millennia. I...I figured there might be a chance that you and I...that we might have some sort of...longer life. That I might have to watch everyone I know and love die because our ghost half would...keep us from...from dying."
This time the pause was so heavy with reluctance it was palpable and Danny sighed as tears came to his eyes, he knew the answer, "We do don't we….have longer life spans….how long?" he asked as he buried his face into his knees and felt Vlad sigh with an extreme heaviness.
"I'm not sure Little Badger, I've yet to study my own aging process well enough to tell. But, well, since I turned forty, I've not aged a day. I was...I am too….scared to try and figure it out." Vlad admitted though it sounded like it hurt him to say it.
"You're scared?" Danny asked looking up, "Yes, Daniel. Though I have none as close to me as you do, I am scared of the same fate. I do not want to watch the world around me grow and die, to watch new generations be born knowing I shall experience it all on my own. I do not know how much longer we will live than those around us, but I do know we will."
Danny dropped his head and felt sadness and despair fill him, "Don't weep for the unchangeable, Daniel. Focus on what you have now. There will be plenty of time to spend with those you love, well over eighty years. And, no matter what you choose to do, I will be here to help aid you if you ever need it. I will always be here, to be a light in your darkest hours."
His body pressed closer to the man next to him, felt his heat, as the hand on his shoulder burned and he looked up slowly, eyes red-rimmed and nose stuffy, "We didn't zap our cores." Danny sniffed.
"No. But the Maximus is right there, however, I do not think at this moment we shouldn't shield our cores from each other."
"Why," Danny asked, taking the handkerchief offered to him by Vlad as the man held him closer, "Because, just at this moment, I think it important you know my sincerity. I will be with you, through all the pain and suffering the future may bring. I need you to understand I say this in love, and not in manipulation." Vlad cooed and Danny nodded, allowing his core a moment to very carefully reach out and caress Vlad's. The man gave a faint gasp and shiver before he said, "That is much better. Your restraint and control have improved."
Danny smiled softly before he slowly dropped his legs and turned to meet Vlad's eyes, "Yes. Thanks to you. I can feel it, your sincerity-" and Danny gave a small gasp and looked away. It came in soft gentle pulses, but Danny felt it. With no protection from the Maximus Danny felt Vlad's emotions, his love which remained as ever, intoxicating and alluring.
"What is it?" Vlad asked softly, his eyes half-lidded as his pupils dilated and he used a hand to cup Danny's cheek and gently urge the young man to look up at him, "I feel it again, god, Vlad. Pull back, just a little it's so….good….so damn...wonderful….I can't….I need...I want to…" but Danny was stopped by a pulse of arousal, Vlad's arousal, and his fingers gripped into the fur rug beneath them.
"I can feel yours as well," Vlad said softly and he leaned in and their lips met, the older man pressing him back and Danny going willingly. The fire crackled on and soft gasps filled the otherwise quiet air.
Danny felt a sort of warm calm fill him, thick contentment and desire settling in his core while that amazing feeling of love and lust coated his mind in a hazy shell.
"Vlad?" Danny sighed out happily.
"Yes, Daniel?" The man hummed softly as his lips gently tickled the young man's throat.
"When exactly did you realize you loved me?"
Vlad's body stilled, his lips hovering over the young man's shoulder before he shifted. His body rested on top of Danny's, hips between the young man's legs. His pressed up, resting on his elbows as hands come to Danny's face, one pressing the young man's hair back while the other glided a thumb across trembling lips.
"It was at your graduation. I was invited by your father, but I came on my own accord. Kept hidden and out of sight. I didn't want you to see me, I didn't want to ruin your big day...I...just wanted to...to…" and the man trailed off.
"Vlad-"
"Close your eyes, Daniel." Vlad said softly, leaning down to press his lips to Danny's ear, "Close your eyes and I will show you."
Normally Danny would protest, but the moment was once again too intimate to break and so he obeyed, closing his eyes as Vlad carefully reached out his core and like so many times before the memories and feelings came to him.
Vlad watched from behind an erected pillar, the football field decorated for the commencement ceremony of Casper High. The theme, though such a thing seemed silly for graduation, was ancient Greece. Despite the heat, he wore a thin but long black coat, sunglasses and a fedora, all meant to keep young Daniel from noticing him. Though on such an exciting day he doubted the young halfa would. Still, his emotions were mixed, a bit of pride, a dash of regret, a scoop of jealousy yet there was admiration and respect. Vlad had been doing his best to change, had even done young Daniel the favor of keeping the ghostly activity in Amity Park to a minimum so he could focus on his school. It had paid off apparently as he seemed to be wearing some sort of honors along with his robe.
One by one the students were called and as Danny's last name was Fenton he was up and walking to the stage and podium all too soon. It had been a while since Vlad saw him and he noticed how Danny as now taller, more filled out, with broad shoulders. He heard a familiar voice call to the young man now on stage shaking the Principles hand and the young man looked, bright blue eyes finding his mother in the audience as she took a picture.
His eyes locked onto Maddie, but the rush of joy at seeing her simply wasn't there. Jack stood next, waving at his son who was currently blushing three different shades of red. Jack placed a hand around Maddie as his loud and boisterous voice boomed to his wife about how proud he was. Yet, rage for the man, anger, and jealousy did not come.
The indifference to their existence was shockingly new and as his eyes fell back to Danny his heart beat a little harder, warmth filled his stomach. After months of playing nice, months of trying to change and show Daniel things could be different between them….he had found a peace within himself he had never known.
Vlad stayed out of sight, watching the rest of the ceremony, and after when Daniel found his family, his two closest friends trailing behind him also in gowns he realized how he wished he could be there standing next to him. Pain and sadness filled him, a longing he hadn't realized was there and before he could stop himself Vlad's feet moved.
As he approached Danny's eyes found him and they grew wide before a glare appear. It cut him hard, made his heart sink and his stomach twist and so despite his desire to congratulate the young man he made a minor correction in direction and walked right passed the small group. Not saying a word, nor looking back, though he felt Danny's eyes burning into him the entire way to his car.
Once inside and spared from the scrutiny of the young man's glare he felt emotions shooting through him. Pain, hurt, shame, regret, yet, still, he felt admiration, respect and to his surprise, a pulsing warmth coupled with anxiety and desire. He wanted to return, talk to the young man, try to create some form of truce, some semblance of trust and of a relationship. But, no….it could not be. The damage was done.
Despair filled him, a choking and cruel fist squeezing at his heart, he needed to be even better, he had to try harder to show Daniel that he had changed. There was no other option if he tried to approach the young man now….Daniel would never trust him...there was no way...the damage was done and that despair came back tenfold.
Vlad started the car, a shakey breath leaving his lips as he fought back sorrow and more pain, "You've done it to yourself, accept it and move on, Daniel's….Daniel's….gone. You are nothing to him…" and Vlad sat there staring at the road for a moment before he whispered, "But he is everything to me." and the tears finally came, though Vlad simply put the car into drive and left Amity Park behind.
Danny gasped a little as Vlad pulled back, their cores once again separating though the pull was stronger than expected to rejoin.
"I knew I cared for you that day, that I loved you, but it wasn't until a few weeks later that I realized I was in love with you. The fact that I no longer held resentment for your father, that I no longer coveted your mother was the first sign. But it wasn't until I started to have dreams that it came to me. I tried to pull back, return to who I was in a desperate attempt to remove those feelings for you, but I couldn't do it. More time passed as I sat in denial but eventually, I accepted it, and when I did I spent the day drinking in hopes of numbing myself to it. I felt like my heart was trying to punish me, forgetting the love I held for your mother, a person I could not have, and moving on only to fall in love with you, another person I could not have. I wanted to die, Daniel. I didn't want to spend another twenty years loving someone who didn't, wouldn't and couldn't love me back."
Danny felt the man's core shift closer, Vlad's feelings, and memories a faint ripple in the back of his mind and he gasped and buried his face into Vlad's neck in hopes of grounding himself in reality.
"The night we fought, the night I admitted to you my feelings, I thought it was all over. I didn't want to exist without you and I thought I'd never with able to have you. Killing you and ending my life seemed like the only way to end my suffering. I was ready. But when the time came I just couldn't do it. I love you, Daniel. I could never hurt you, not anymore. I will do whatever it takes to prove it to you. Name it and I shall do it." Vlad whispered to him before his lips left Danny's ear and came to the boy's throat, kissing and biting gently.
"Vlad, wait. Please, the Maximus, we shouldn't do this without….ohmygod…." Danny felt the man's burning hands press up his shirt, lips trailed kisses from Danny's sternum towards his belly button. Those large hands roamed and messaged his body slow and steady, everything becoming less important than this moment.
"Don't worry, we'll go slow, Daniel. So slow...so beautifully slow." Vlad whispered as fingers came to Danny's pants and worked to remove them, Vlad's body sliding up his own so that he could kiss the younger man and swallow his worries.
Danny hummed as his own hands, still shaking though the pair had done this many times now started to removed Vlad's clothing. Still, as his fingers moved and Vlad's mouth left him and skimmed down the young man's throat towards his shoulder he managed out a whispered, "But w-what if we accidentally….what if we….can't control it….what if we accidentally-" but Danny didn't finish, a wave of euphoric pleasure gently shooting through his core made his back arch and Vlad made a rather low grunt as Danny felt fangs gently sink into his shoulder.
"Vlad!" He cried but it wasn't in anger, no, the call of the older man's name was nothing but lust and want and all Danny craved was to be closer.
Vlad sucked gently, and Danny felt it, their cores pouring into each other, joining in a poignant yet perfectly timed rhythm.
Unable to stop himself, Danny squirmed and pressed against the man, "More, deeper, do it, I feel it, it's happening…." he felt compelled to urge the man on, it was important Vlad didn't stop, so important they stay this way for as long as possible. An instinctual drive to remain like this and allow their cores to...to…
"Inside, need you inside, you have to be inside-" Danny whispered out desperately, his eyes wide, pupils nothing but tiny black specks in an ocean of bright blue as his fingers dug into the man's back.
Vlad hummed, groaned, bit deeper, sucked harder but did not release Danny as his own hands and then his knees and feet tried to press Danny's jeans down and off. The younger man awkwardly using his own feet to finally free himself and then Danny was pressing as Vlad's pants, boxers and spreading his legs much too wide.
"Inside, now, Vlad please, inside, you have to be inside to-" and Vlad didn't hesitate, as soon as he was able and the blasted pants had been removed he aligned himself with Danny's entrance and started to push in. There was no lube, no ability to stop and get the bottle either but Danny didn't feel pain, only the man above, his lover breeching him and not stopping. He pressed in, through the resistance to reach Danny's end and take root inside of him.
That's when it happened, Danny felt a surge in his core and though he tried to stop it he couldn't, it came quickly and Danny let out a loud grunt of discomfort as he transformed into Phantom without his say so. A second flash of light and a jerk from Vlad let Danny know the man also seemed to be unable to stop his transformation.
"W-whats happening?" Danny asked desperately as another surge of Vlad's emotions swirled through him and the arousal was a potent and undeniable pull towards oblivion.
"V-Vlad, Vlad wait! We are….we are...we're bonding...stop...we have to s-s-stop!" Danny panted out and as the words left him Danny felt yet another surge of emotions from Vlad, but these were unlike anything else he had felt. An excitement and want so sharp Danny near couldn't handle it, greed and disobedience surging up through Danny's body.
Words came into his mind, broken sentences and Vlad's voice echoing as Vlad's hips finally started to move and the jolts of pleasure shot up Danny's spine.
Now, do it now, yes, bond with me, please don't stop this, don't stop me, happy, want to be happy, with you, forever, don't stop, don't resist, please don't ask me to wait anymore….Daniel, Daniel, just a little longer, together, a little more...just need...inside, joined, a few more minutes….don't stop me, please don't stop this...almost there….almost…. I love you….
"Vlaaad-" Danny whispered out desperately as his nails dug deeper and he felt as if his life force was growing weaker as if he was suddenly being drained and yet the pleasure was near blinding in his mind as Vlad continued to move against him, "Please...wait…"
Can't stop….can't...so close...I don't want to stop...must...finish….Daniel, Daniel we are one, can't you feel it ...don't be afraid of it, of us, so close, just a little bit more, I love you, I want you and this and I can't stop...can't...your mine, mine forever, I want you forever...my beautiful Daniel, MINE…
Passion, love, and desire swarmed inside him, pleasure shooting through his body and Danny felt their cores start to grow, brighter, hotter, humming loudly as they began to fuse and Danny felt Vlad wrap arms around him, holding him so close, too tight and he found he couldn't move, couldn't stop or keep it from happening.
As his body readied for his climax, as the pleasure came so sharp and intense his head fell back, his body went rigid and he felt his core fully open and Vlad's energy flooded in.
It was ecstasy, pure bliss, but Danny felt fear surge in him, his body started to jerk as he tried to get Vlad to stop.
It's almost done, we're joining, he's mine...all mine...forever. Bonded for life...I love you, Daniel. Please, I hope you can forgive me...I couldn't stop...can't stop...never...not when it comes to you...not now...after everything...he's going to be mine...you're mine….and I'm...I'm yours….lover, guardian, slave...whatever you need of me...always...forever. MINE MINE MINE!
Those feelings that Danny had feared for so long came rushing into his core, that desire to claim and control, burning greed and a need to acquire, to conquer and to force Danny to submit because this is what Vlad wanted and he was so lost in his desire he no longer cared about what Danny wanted.
The pleasure was building too fast, but somehow Danny got a hand free, his body jerking hard as Vlad slammed into him and his voice started to scream inside Danny's head. The young man reached out, knocking over their mugs, batting the small plate of cookies aside as fingers managed to just barely touch the Maximus.
MINE! NO ONE ELSES! MY DANIEL, SO CLOSE, SECONDS, I CAN FEEL IT, ALMOST THERE, MINE MINE MINE ONLY MINE! YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE, YOU'LL STAY WITH ME FOREVER! I LOVE YOU! DANIEL I LOVE YOU!
Danny jerked and his hand finally grabbed the handle, he pressed the button and jabbed Vlad's ribs hard with the Maximus.
The pain was near excruciating as Vlad's core was ripped away from his own, the bonds that had been forming yanked apart and snapping painfully and Vlad screamed near bloody murder as Danny let out a yell as well. Vlad's body went stiff, and as Danny went to turn the Maximus on himself Vlad managed to slap the thing out of his grasp.
It landed in the fireplace and seconds later sparks came and then there was a small explosion. Vlad covered Danny with his own body and pulled him close, rolling so that Danny was hidden from the pieces of metal and hot-wiring that spewed from the flames.
When it ended, Danny still panting and his core feeling like it had been kicked and beaten with a stick, he said softly, "Is it over?"
Vlad did not respond, his own breaths coming in pants equal to Danny's and for a moment the man just held him in that protective embrace.
After a few more seconds Vlad's breathy voice came and he asked softly, "Why...why did you...why did you stop me...us….from…"
"I'm sorry, Vlad, I...I panicked-"
"Why did you stop me!" Vlad suddenly growled out loudly as he shoved Danny away before rolling on top of him and pinning the young man's wrists to the floor, "You could have killed us! You could have damaged our cores! You….you stupid….you.." Vlad was extremely upset, his eyes narrow and cold as his teeth ground together and he shifted stiffly to straddle Danny's waist, applying more pressure to his wrists and the pain of it shocked Danny.
"Get off!" the young man suddenly yelled and Vlad gave another growl, raising Danny by his wrists before slamming him back down onto the floor, "You could have killed us!" Vlad yelled.
"I told you to stop! You didn't! I wanted you to stop! I didn't want to join our cores! I told you we needed to use the Maximus, you didn't even listen to me! You just decided to take what you wanted without any care for what I wanted!" Danny said and he gave a mighty thrust with his hips and managed to shove Vlad off. He stumbled to his feet, grabbed up his pants and shoved his legs into them. Not bothering with his boxers as he got them on and buttoned them.
Danny headed for the door, anger finally swimming to the surface but he wasn't willing to let it control him. He was too angry to talk about this, and if he tried now he might say something he would regret.
Suddenly hands came to his shoulders and Vlad swung him around, the young man stumbling before those large hands slammed him into the doors of the living room.
"You do want it! I have felt it! I felt your desires, I have felt your feelings and emotions! You want to join with me! You are just scared! Scared I will turn on you, but I told you I've changed! Why won't you believe me!" Vlad yelled, his fingers gripping hard into Danny's bare shoulders and the young man brought his hands up quickly, shoving the man's hands off of him, "You say you've changed but I felt your emotions, I heard your thoughts! You didn't care about how I felt, all you wanted was to make me join my core with yours! You would have forced it on me! If I hadn't zapped you, you would have gone through with it, I heard your thoughts! You didn't care about anything but making the bond permanent, what's that saying? Better to ask forgiveness than permission?"
"I don't need to ask permission, not if the person I love loves me in return! You want to bond with me Daniel! I've heard your thoughts too! I have felt your feelings-" and Vlad took Danny's face in his hand, pressed him to the door as he leaned in and finally lowered his voice as he closed his eyes and whispered so sweetly, "You are in love with me. I have felt it. I know the truth Daniel, you don't have to hide it from me anymore. Just embrace it, stop resisting what you want because you are scared. I won't ever hurt you, I will take care of you...I'll...I'll do anything you ask….give you anything you want...just don't deny me anymore….not when it's something we both want." and Vlad suddenly fell to his knees, pressing his face into Danny's bare stomach, "I love you, Daniel, please...just...stop...just...stop this and come home to me. Be with me. Let yourself love me." the man begged, his hands gently taking Danny's hips as he kissed the young man's stomach.
Danny had never seen Vlad beg a day in his life, but right now, Vlad was desperate, utterly destroyed by the turn their night together had taken. He had been so close to finally getting the one thing he truly wanted and once again Danny had denied him, as he had done for so many years before this.
A calm hand came to Vlad's head, and Vlad looked up, eyes glossy and tears on the edge of falling but still holding firm to the corners of those dark blue eyes.
"I'm not trying to trick you, Daniel. I'm not trying to hurt you or trap you. I didn't mean to be so greedy, I didn't mean to ignore your wants...I just...I've been alone so long...you don't have to be scared of me. Please, I only want to be...something to someone."
Danny sighed and closed his eyes, felt his core aching, it felt bruised and raw and he realized that in doing what he did Vlad's core was most likely also damaged. Danny wanted to be mad at the man, wanted to rationalize the man's sudden shift back towards his more dark inclinations could be explained away, but he didn't think he could actually justify them.
"Vlad...I-" and Danny stopped, continued to think on what to do before he finally sighed and said, "Stand up, please." and Vlad complied, slowly, his face wincing as a hand came to his chest and he wheezed and then coughed.
Danny looked at his feet as he waited for the man to gain his balance and then said softly, "I'm going to...to take some time to think about this. I need some space. I meant to ask you yesterday...but...we got distracted and I just wanted to spend time with you."
"Daniel, please-" and Vlad's voice was thick was tears but he still wasn't crying.
"Easy, Vlad. Just...hold on...I'm not ending this. I can't. You are...you're right...I love you. I am in love with you. And I want to be with you. I won't lie to myself anymore."
"Then why won't you-" Vlad started, moving closer, reaching out a hand that Danny gently stopped from caressing his face and he laced their fingers together as he met Vlad's eyes.
"I just need some time. I told you this before, time and some space to think. I came back to you, asked you to use the Maximus so I could be with you without our cores causing problems. But...I need some time-"
Vlad suddenly pulled away, crossing the room to snatch up his pants and put them on. He buttoned them and zipped them before he looked to Danny who remained by the door and crossed his arms, "No. I am not doing this anymore, I can't do this anymore. It's my turn to give the ultimatum. You want space, I will give it to you. I don't want to hear from you, see you, no texts, no calls. You have a month, Little Badger. You make up your mind because I can't play these games anymore. I love you, I know what I want. You love me and I know damn well you want me too. In fact, I'll give you two months just to make it easier for you. You need to decide what you want by the end of March."
Vlad crossed back to him, taking up Danny's jaw in his fingers and he jerked the young man to look up at him, "I've had too many years of chasing after love and affection, I am not going to chase it anymore. You make your choice by the end of March. If you don't want to be with me, fine, I will let you go and let you move on. But if you want to be with me, if you don't want me to move on with my life, then at the end of March you surrender to me. You will join your core with mine and we will become mates. Partners and lovers….forever." Vlad let go of Danny's jaw and gave a rather acidic glare, "Now, collect your things and go. I would prefer to lick my wounds in private and you have school and work to focus on. And take the car, it's too cold for you to be standing at a bus stop. You may return it to me if you decide you no longer wish to continue our little dalliance." and his voice was cold and uncaring as he said it but the words themselves gave away how much the man still cared.
Danny said nothing, simply looking down at the ground as he crossed to get his shirt, shoes, socks and boxers. He said nothing as he crossed back to the door, keeping his head down and shoulders hunched.
As he headed towards the main entryway, pulling his shirt on and dropping his shoes to the ground so he could slide his feet in he heard Vlad call to him, "And keep that blasted core of yours under control! And don't go ghost, you core needs to rest! And don't try to use it to reach out to me! Cold turkey, no communication for the next two months! And drive safe you little brat!"
Danny felt tears come to his eyes as he realized Vlad was essentially locking down his walls, blocking Danny out and trying to protect himself from more hurt. However, he was struggling to do so as he did still care and thus his message was coming out mixed. Danny gave a rather pathetic smile as the tears fell, both hurting from Vlad's sudden rejection and amused by his inability to stop showing just how much he cared.
"And make sure you eat, foolish boy!" Vlad's voice called out and Danny laughed a little more as he whipped at his now runny nose and reached a shaky hand for his coat.
"Take care of yourself, fruitloop," Danny said, his voice thick with tears as he opened the front door and left, feeling all the world like a horrible person while also feeling like he did the right thing in stopping Vlad from going too far.
He had stuck to his guns, kept the ground rules that he had set so long ago. Vlad had pushed him and Danny had given a resounding no. But it ate at him because Danny had heard Vlad's obvious desire to push Danny to bond, to simply make the connection and fusion of their cores happen and beg for Danny's forgiveness after; when it was done and he could no longer stop it.
He was ready to commit to it and force me to bond, hoping after it was all over I would simply accept it and not hate him for forcing me into it. That...that was the old Vlad, the Vlad I have been so scared of. Yet, once I zapped him after he realized I had refused to simply let him have his way, he didn't resort to violence, he didn't hurt me or try to subdue me. He yelled...I yelled...we both yelled...but he didn't lash out in violence. He let me go, in fact, he kicked me out, gave me two months to figure it out...an ultimatum….in which...if I choose him...then I submit to bonding. Not very romantic, but it is very Vlad. He's falling back to his old ways because he is at the end of his ropes...he wants this so badly...am I pushing him to this? Am I trying to push him to relapse to justify my own denial….
Danny got into the car that Vlad had been letting him use, slamming the door shut in frustration and turning it on to let it warm up before he drove back to Madison. Tears continued to fall, and he wiped at his nose again and gave a rather nasty groan as fingers dug into his eyes and his teeth ground together, "Damn it. What the hell am I doing to him? To me? Why am I so-" and Danny looked back at the house, through the thick fall of snow he gazed at the castle and felt his heart twinge. His desire to return inside and beg Vlad to let him stay was acerbic.
"I don't want to leave." Danny suddenly sobbed out, leaning forward in his seat and pressing his forehead to the steering wheel.
"Why, if I love him so much, if I want to stay am I fighting this so hard," he asked out loud, the silence of no answers ringing out around him. He leaned back again, unable to really sit still as he realized in his haste to leave he hadn't cleared the windshield of the snow. He looked in the seats behind him but didn't see a scraper brush and sighed in fatigue.
He couldn't fly home, his core felt shredded and even though he didn't get a chance to zap himself with he Maximus he could tell he wasn't going to be able to go ghost for awhile. Slowly he pulled out his phone and with shaky fingers texted Vlad.
I know you don't want to hear from me, but I can't find the scraper for the car. Is it in the trunk? DF
It was a pathetic attempt to simply talk to the man because he wanted to. Danny knew all he had to do was go check the damn trunk himself, but he wanted to see if Vlad would respond, he hoped desperately that Vlad would.
After about three minutes his phone pinged, I checked the weather, the roads are dangerous and the storm won't be ending until around five am. You may stay here tonight, but tomorrow you need to leave. VM
Danny was turning off the car and heading for the front door before he had finished the text, walking into the warm house and shutting the door much too quickly.
Vlad was exciting the living room, still shirtless with only his black slacks on as he stopped to see Danny standing there with what the young man could only guess was a face of utter anguish. His eyes ached and felt swollen, his nose was still running and he knew his face was red and splotchy from the strain of crying.
He took several steps towards the man, knowing he wanted to feel Vlad's arms around him but he stopped himself and looked away, more tears falling as he grit his teeth and then said softly, "I...I promise to be gone before you wake up." Danny heard how his voice was near hoarse, "I'll just use a spare room and...uhm...I'll...shit." Danny whispered, turning away from the man and gripping his phone too tightly. He felt extremely vulnerable and humiliated and suddenly his desire to actually leave took precedence over his desire to stay.
He suddenly felt overwhelmed and his emotions became erratic as his breathing increased and panic set in. Danny's head seemed to spin and his toes went numb and when he felt a hand come to his shoulder instinct took over and despite the agonizing pain, he felt himself go ghost and a yell ripped from his throat at the shock of it.
"Daniel!" Vlad suddenly called with worry, "What are you-"
"I'm sorry, so sorry, I'm not...I can't...I need...you're right...space...we need space. I'm sorry, so sorry…" and he shoved up from the ground and shot out of the house, phasing through the ceiling and floors until he was outside and a gust of cold wind hit him hard.
His core gave a painful jolt but Danny simply forced himself through the pain and headed towards Madison. He didn't stop until he reached his dorm and in the empty hall transformed back into his human self and stumbled in. His roommate was sleeping, his earbuds in and blaring and Danny felt wasted, utterly weak but as he climbed into his bunk he managed to send a single text to Vlad.
Made it back. DF
Vlad didn't respond and Danny was passed out seconds later. His core throbbing and his heart shattered.
A/n: Alright all you happy people hope you enjoyed it! Just going to double-check the next chapter, see if I want to adjust anything, otherwise going to post it at the end of this week, probably Saturday or Sunday. Thanks for your patience!