AN: I'd like to make note that since PP didn't happen in this timeline things are going to be revealed in slightly different ways. Not going to say much more. Also, this is one of the last few chapters, almost done. At the end of the final Chapter I am going to give the synopsis for my next Vlad Danny story after I finish Love Me Do, and if anyone is still wondering, yes, that title was based on the Beatles song. Have a good read and I hope you enjoy this chapter. R&R if you have time and feel like it!
ENTRY VIII
Everything was static. My brain, my body, and my surroundings. I was greeted by shades of gray, black and white, nothing seemingly able to break through the sudden appearance of this numbing sensation I was experiencing. It hurt worse than when Sam and I had decided to go our separate ways. It almost felt worse than when I watched my friends and family nearly die in the Nasty Burger explosion.
I woke up the morning after the fall out with Vlad and my thoughts screamed at me, urged me to fix the mistake I made. To return to Vlad and submit to him so that I could finally find myself back in his arms and his good graces. I wanted to be with him so badly that I spent two hours after waking typing out message after message which I would erase and retype, save to my draft folder but never send.
The physical pain I was in from the damage done to my core felt like acid reflux times a thousand and I worried that Vlad was suffering the same if not more so than me. He was alone, in that big house, dealing with the pain and trauma his core suffered on his own.
I remember the near overpowering desire I had to go to him, the rationalizing my mind try to do in order to get me to go to him. Still, I stayed away because that is what Vlad wanted. He wanted me to stew in my emotions and not return until I was either ready to end our relations or commit to him.
But even through the numb static of my depression, there still remained that smallest call from my right mind that I had done the correct thing. Vlad had no right to take control of the situation as he did, to force it onto me, to try and make the bonding of our cores happen without my consent.
I felt both lost and confused. I felt betrayed and yet I felt like I understood his motivations and desires. I knew so much more about him now, that his actions didn't surprise me, and I could put myself in his shoes and see his perspective.
Vlad loved me, he also knew I loved him. He knew for certain I wanted to be with him and so calculated that if he simply pushed me into doing the thing he truly believed I wanted but wouldn't admit to, in a very twisted sense, he was simply helping me by taking the decision out of my hands.
It was yet another wonderful gift and curse of our cores joining. I had the ability to think more like Vlad, make better guesses at what he was thinking, why he did certain things and why he might make a certain choice. I could literally step into his shoes and completely understand his perspective even if I didn't agree with it.
This also meant that Vlad could do the same for me and I hoped that is why he had been more rational than what I was used to in regards to Vlad. Then again, as I mused over that horrible night I wondered if perhaps Vlad had changed to such a degree that even our bond could not share with me the extent to which he had shifted and grown.
Still, my days blurred by, I barely ate, had fitful nights of sleep and essentially shut down from the outside world. My grades didn't plummet but I was no longer striving for the straight A's that I had used to covet. I settled into the comfortable zone of my early high school days, C average, and I didn't bother to try and apply the grueling study schedule I had managed to follow the last two years of high school.
I still cammed with Sam and Tucker, though they could tell something was wrong. I also talked to my parents and sister on the phone, who said I sounded upset all the time. I went to work and even visited my favorite cafe, but it all felt so hollow, no satisfaction came from the things that had been so important to me growing up. My focus was gone, my desire to care, gone. I wanted to just curl up and pull a blanket over me and forget the world and let the world forget me. Even flying did little to soothe me.
It took three weeks for my core to heal which brought me quickly into the early weeks of February. The weather got worse, as did my darkening depression. I'd come back to the dorm after school or work and lay there for hours until the sun faded trying desperately to get my mind to function and sort out what I was going to do.
I had until the end of March to figure out if I would submit to him and my mind raced with thoughts. Really it was the only subject that seemed to get my brain working. I loved Vlad, I was attracted to him, and I wanted to be with him, so why was fusing my core with his and committing to the man so terrifying to me.
He had proven time and time again he had changed, even with his slip-up in regards to trying to force the bond on me, I knew deep down he had simply been trying to push me towards what he was so sure I wanted.
Thoughts came to me in succession, always the same, was I just scared of commitment? Why was I still so scared of a man that I had now been so intimately involved with? Was there a fear of missing out on some other fantastic relationship if I made this commitment to Vlad? Was I scared I would fall out of love and then be stuck with him? Clockwork had said we could, in fact, separate, but that it was both physically and emotionally painful. Judging from how it had felt when our cores had been ripped apart via the Maximus I could only imagine the pain of separating two cores that were fused. Like trying to take apart two pieces of metal that had been welded together.
I had beaten Vlad many times over the years, kept him from his evil schemes and outsmarted and outmaneuvered him to the point of driving the man near mad with rage. I had an out and knew for a fact I was brave enough to defend myself against him. I had proved that when I used the Maximus on him mid-sex.
Yet, I was still scared to allow myself the thing I most coveted. It ate at me, and the only way I can describe it would be to say that my soul was howling in protest. All I saw in my mind was Vlade's anguish and pain, years of isolation, rage, and torment. Those red eyes once again haunted my dreams but not for the same reasons as they did in my youth. No matter how I justified my actions, no matter how in the right I knew I was, I felt like I had done something horribly wrong and as the days passed I regretted it more and more.
Dread started to settle heavy in my chest and stomach, a fear that Vlad wouldn't wait the two months he promised and that he would give up and move on. The very idea of Vlad with someone else filled me with such apprehension and crippling anxiety I stopped sleeping at all. The idea that I had in fact messed up my chances with the man causing a sort of detached delirium. I had never felt this type of pain before. I had dealt with the physical pain of fighting, the pain that came with having to push through and endure even when I had no energy left, the pain of loss and the pain of rejection.
But all of those paled in comparison to this pain. It was different somehow, perhaps because I had become so invested, intimate and emotionally connected that I could no longer see any way to exist without Vlad.
This had all happened so fast, the previous six months swirling together in my mind as I tried to control both my emotions and my wandering mind. I had no answers and I desperately wanted one. Still, I continued to circle the drain of my life, trying to search within myself for the right course of action to take, to try and figure out why I wouldn't commit to Vlad when really it was all I wanted.
The answer came to me late one night, in the form of an old friend. Unable to sleep and unwilling to simply lay in my dorm and stare at Vlad's old initials I went out. I would find the answer for which I so desperately had been searching.
I had gone to my favorite cafe, open 24 hours and well worth the money they asked you to pay for coffee and tea. I got an iced chai despite the brutal winter outside and decided walking in the cold might help to clear the static haze my life had become.
There is an old adage, 'keep your friends close but your enemies closer.' It's a useful passage at times but I can promise you, despite the wise nature of that statement, allow this old man to amend: when you're truly in trouble, there will never be anything more useful to you than an old friend with good advice….
Chapter Eight
Epiphany
Danny had been wandering for several hours. It was nearing one in the morning and once again he found himself with a frozen nose and numb toes, though the cold really didn't bother him.
His core finally felt normal again and it hummed softly in his chest as he looked at the empty streets around him. He spied two people kissing under a street lamp outside a club that seemed to be rather busy despite the cold and he sneered at the pair with jealous derision.
His depression settled heavily over his heart and he frowned and stared at his shoes. Taking a sip of his drink he noticed it tasted like ash and was about to toss the barely drank beverage in a nearby garbage can when a familiar voice rang out to him.
"Danny? Hey, is that Fenton I see?" And Danny turned only to realize that Valarie Gray had just left the club and was crossing the street towards him.
"Valarie?" Danny asked back in shock though he knew it was her.
"Oh my God! Danny!" And she came up to him quickly, wrapping her arms around him and giving a rather tight hug which Danny returned.
"God, I can't believe it's you! I heard you got into UW, but I never heard if you accepted."
"Yeah, well, it's my parents Alma Mater, kind of felt right to...you know...follow in their footsteps." There was a bit of a pause before Danny seemed to remember how to interact with another person and asked quickly, "So, uh, what are ya doing here? I heard you went to Cal Tech. Watcha doing in Wisconsin?"
Valarie smiled, "oh, you know...visiting my boyfriend." And as soon as she said it a young man came walking over while calling her name. He had just exited the club and smiled friendly at Danny.
"Hey, sugar bear, who's this?" And the young man looked at Danny who gave a weak smile in return and waved.
"Devon, I'd like you to meet Danny Fenton, we went to high school together. He's an old friend."
"Hey, nice to meet you man," Devon said as he held out a hand and Danny shook it. The handshake was firm and it made Danny think of Vlad which made him wince.
"Devon and I met after I graduated from Casper High. We were both doing a summer internship at the company my dad worked at. He got into UW and I got into Cal Tech but we've managed to make the long-distance thing work pretty well." Valarie said giving Devon a rather tender smile.
"Yeah. It hasn't been easy but I think it'll be worth it," and he winked at Valerie who smirked and playfully rolled her eyes, "So, Danny, what are you going to school for? Haven't seen you around so I assume you're on the North quad?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah. Actually, I'm not sure yet. I'm mostly focusing on my freshmen electives and my entry-level classes. Paranormal studies, Space 101, Astronomy and Astrometry Mechanical Sciences. I wanna work for NASA, if it pans out."
"Whoa, that sounds pretty intense for freshmen year, bet you got to study a lot. Can't imagine how difficult Mechanical Science is."
Danny nodded and sighed, "Yeah, it's...it's pretty rough...I had a tutor for a while...he uh...he made it a lot easier but...we kind of had a falling out...grades aren't so hot at the moment-" and every word pained him as it was Vlad who he was talking about. The man who, though not as NASA obsessed as Danny was highly intelligent and could essentially help Danny solve just about any of the mathematical and scientific problems he had faced in regards to his homework.
"Danny's parents are two of the foremost experts in Paranormal phenomenon and study and world-class inventors. It's not really surprising how brilliant he and his sister are considering the way they grew up-"
Sadness swelled as Valarie spoke, and had Danny been in his normal mind, he would have blushed and spoken of how Valarie was exaggerating and that he had to literally do nothing but study and practice to keep on top of his school work. Yet, he was not in his right mind and the idea that Vlad and Danny would no longer be studying together, that Vlad would no longer be helping him made his chest tight and he cleared his throat softly cutting Valarie off.
"Well, it was good seeing you. We will have to cam some time and catch up." Danny said as he rubbed at the back of his head and made to leave only to feel a hand come to his arm and he looked back at Valarie whose face looked at him suspiciously.
"Hey, Danny...you okay?" She asked, "I didn't want to say anything but...you look a little…"
"Depressed." Devon finished and Valarie gave the man a light elbow before glaring at him.
Clearing his throat again Danny glanced at her as flashes of his current situation hit him and he looked away as tears started to build behind his eyes.
"Uh, yeah, fine. Just, you know...college...stuff and I am super exhausted and...and...I'm going to go. It was great seeing you, Val. Catch you later." And he turned and headed around the corner and moved quickly towards the city's Central Park.
He followed the winding path through the frozen trees and brushes, spied the dead flower beds and statues from some of Madison's aspiring artists and found himself sitting on a bench next to a frozen pond about ten minutes later. He still held the chai though he wasn't really drinking it and stared out into the darkness, the surrounding city giving just enough dim light so that he could see a few feet ahead of him.
He wanted to kick himself for being unable to maintain his composure, yet it seemed even the smallest and totally unrelated things seemed to spark his mind to think of Vlad. He pulled out his phone, hand shaking as he typed out a text.
I'm sorry, please forgive me. I can't stop thinking about you. About what I did, how I hurt you. Please, forgive me, let me come home. I want to come home. Please…. But he stopped typing and knew how desperate and pathetic he sounded. Danny never thought in his entire time of knowing Vlad that he would ever beg the man for anything.
But I would give anything to have his arms around me, to hear him talk to me softly, to just have him around. Danny's eyes closed tight and a single tear fell, landing on the screen and obscuring the words he had yet to delete.
He doesn't want to talk to me, and if I go against his wishes on the matter I will just be dismissing his wants again. Besides, Vlad would only see my pleas as pathetic and weak. I still don't understand how he could ever be interested in someone like me. He'll probably just toss me aside when he gets bored with me. Me and my wreck of a life that I have no idea how to live.
"Danny?" Came the soft call of Valarie and he looked up in surprise to see the young woman approaching him from the dark.
"Valarie? What are you doing here? Where's Devon?"
"I sent him home. I told him I'd catch up with him later, that a good friend of mine is in trouble and I need to help him." And Valarie sat down next to him on the bench carefully, judging his comfort level with her proximity by whether or not he moved away from her.
Danny looked away but didn't get up or shift apart from her, "What makes you think I'm in trouble?"
Valarie gave him a quizzical look and crossed her arms, her puffy purple coat and yellow scarf complimenting her make-up and winter hat perfectly and Danny smirked at how put together Valarie always was. No matter the hardships that came into her life, she always found a way to present and simply be the best parts of herself. He'd give anything to have that kind of strength.
"Don't give me that, I may not be as close to you as Sam and Tucker but I am your friend and we did date for awhile ya know. I can tell something's wrong. I want to help if I can."
Danny sighed and winced out his concern, "I don't know Valarie...it's a really long story, and really complicated and it has to do with someone...well...two people you aren't very fond of and it's pretty unbelievable-"
"Does it have to do with Phantom?" Valarie asked and Danny looked at her with wide eyes before the young woman reached out and took his hand, "It's alright Danny. I know. I figured it out a long time ago. You're Danny Phantom and I am The Huntress. Big whoop."
Danny was shocked, for the first time in weeks he felt something other than despair and his heart sped up a little as he asked, "What? How, no, wait... when did you-"
"I figured it out." She said with a playful cockiness and she gripped his hand a little tighter, "I wanted to tell you after graduation...but...well...there were a lot of things going on and college prep and then I met Devon and...I figured it could wait. You're still my friend Danny and I know you're a good person. So, why not tell me what's going on...maybe I can help."
He looked at her and sighed before he leaned against her and said with fatigue, "I fell in love with Vlad Masters." and Danny felt her stiffen and her tone was confused as she asked, "Say what?"
"Yeah. After I graduated I came to UW to see if I wanted to go here. Well, Vlad is from here and we had a run-in. Fought like cats and dogs, nearly killed each other. Through a very twisted series of events, our cores sort of semi bonded, which is the ghostly equivalent of mating. For the last six months, Vlad and I had been testing the waters of existing together as partners and mates. And, honestly, it's probably been the best six months of my life."
"Are you playing with me right now? You, Danny Fenton, are trying to tell me you and Vlad Masters, the evilest guy on the planet are in love?"
"I told you it's unbelievable. And to add to the disbelief, by the way, Vlad isn't evil anymore. In fact, he gave up his evil ways nearly three years ago, give or take, and has been leading a brilliantly dull life as a real businessman. No evil schemes, no plots, plans or world domination. He's gone straight, and with that, all his anger is gone. He's….nice, caring, tender….kind. I've finally gotten to know the real Vlad Masters and he's horribly broken, but trying really hard to put himself back together. He's...changed."
They sat in silence, Valarie trying to digest this sudden and shocking information that Danny had just laid out to her.
"So...okay...uhm...well then...what are you going to do?" She asked carefully.
Danny sighed, "Do you really want to help?" Danny asked softly as he looked down at the path under them.
"Yes, Danny. I want to help, and I want to understand. Tell me everything and let's see if we can figure this out." Valarie said gently as she placed a hand on his shoulder.
Danny sighed and went into the whole story. The one he had recited so many times now it was as if he was explaining the plot from a book. Valarie said very little as he explained it all. Danny took the same approach he did with Sam and Tucker and told her everything, keeping it PG and mainly inferring when sexual relations between him and Vlad occurred. She was quiet, understanding and after a time, accepting.
He made it all the way to the events of the month before that caused his downward spiral and subsequent depression, his voice growing weaker and more guilt-ridden as he talked.
"So, I panicked. Zapped him with the Maximus. I...I literally forced our cores apart and hurt him in so many more ways than just… I rejected him, and I rejected the feelings I have for him. God, he begged me Valarie. Vlad Masters begged me to stop fighting what I wanted. And the worst part is, he is right. I do want to be with him, I want to join my core with his. But all I could do was ask for more time and space, having no clue as to why I need it in the first place when I know what I want."
Valarie gave him a rather pointed look, "To be fair, he did kind of go behind your back, at that moment when you were the most vulnerable he tried to force something on you that you weren't ready for and didn't want….right? I mean, that's pretty bad. Like being forced into an arranged marriage or-"
"He isn't wrong Valarie. I do want it. He didn't take into account all the variables, but in a way, he was trying to be kind by simply taking the weight of the decision off my shoulders. And I know, as horrible as it sounds, if he had succeeded, I would have forgiven him. Maybe even felt relieved."
"Really?" Valarie asked in surprise.
"Yeah. I know it's messed up. You probably think I'm brainwashed or something, but...it would have been so much easier if I had just...let him take the choice from me. I know I love him, and I know I want to be with him. Yet I'm making this big deal over something that doesn't really bother me...maybe I am brainwashed...I don't know."
"I don't think you're brainwashed, I think you're in love."
Danny sighed and gave a bitter chuckle, "God help me, I am."
"So...what happened after you zapped him?" Valarie asked, trying to process exactly where Danny was at mentally and how damaged his relationship with Vlad currently was.
"Well, being Vlad, and no longer driven by hate and rage, he decided to give me an ultimatum. I need to decide by the end of March if I want to fuse my core with his. Granted, you need to keep in mind, because of the core problem, we can't date like regular people. If we forget to zap our cores, if we get too close or try to be...overly intimate we have these horrible side effects. I truly believe if our cores weren't an issue we could and would take it slow, feel it out, date like normal people do. And on top of that, it isn't like we can maintain our friendship even if neither of us wanted to be together as lovers. Even if we weren't in love our cores would try to join...so...here I am at 2 AM with a chai I can't drink, sinking grades, class A depression and no closer to the answer than I was before this whole mess started."
Valarie digested that a moment and then sighed, "Well Fenton, you got a real tough problem to solve. But it makes me wonder, and just answer me directly, don't think about it, I want you to say the first thing that comes to your mind-"
"Okay?" Danny said looking at her with confusion.
"What are you really afraid of?"
"What?" Danny asked in confusion.
"Well, you say you know you love him. You are certain you want to be with him. You want to bond with him and fuse your core with his. So….what are you afraid of?"
Danny looked at her and before he could think his mouth opened and the softest word came out, "Everything,"
"Okay, maybe elaborate a little more-" Valarie pressed gently and Danny sighed and let his head fall back to rest on the back of the bench as he slid down in annoyance.
"Just what I said, everything, the whole damn thing. I mean, here's this guy who's perfect for me. Literally my other half and for so long he was the evil to my good, an arch-enemy and wicked mastermind that I time and time again managed to beat by the skin of my teeth. He probably knows more about me than just about anyone aside from Sam and Tucker. He can understand everything I've gone through cause he's gone through the same and now he's mister born-again-nice-guy and we get along so well and I love him but it's not just dating or spending time together, it's not even just sex, it's everything! It's a full-time commitment to him and us being together as partners and lovers and...I haven't even finished college! I mean, I'm a freshman! I have no real-world experience, I have no sense of taste or class, I have no idea what I want to do when I graduate, no plans to be anything aside from just a guy getting through life a day at a time! Sure, I want to work for NASA but who knows if that will happen! How could he ever see anything in me aside from some scrawny kid he used to beat up, a total loser, I've got nothing to offer him aside from sex and hanging out with him. No money, no real future, I mean...I can't even buy the guy a gift cause he's got everything...how could a guy like him be in love with a guy like me!? And to top it off, what if we fuse our cores and then Vlad realizes he's made a mistake. The man has always been impulsive, seriously, absolutely no impulse control...he's been obsessed with me for so long...and he's going to jump into this with me simply because I am finally willing to be with him, just because he's lonely and then two years down the road he's gonna regret it and realize I'm not really worth it and...and he's going to….dump me..."
Danny trailed off, the answer coming to him like a bolt of lighting to his skull, "It's not him I'm worried about, is it." He says matter-of-factly.
Valarie smiled softly and cocked an eyebrow, "Figured it out did you?" She asked with a small chuckle.
"It's...it's not about Vlad….it's about me….I mean, it is about Vlad but not about him going dark, it's about me not being good enough and-"
"You love him, and the idea of Vlad someday not loving you back is pretty scary, huh?" Valarie asked while also hinting subtly.
"I am scared of Vlad hurting me, but not for the reasons I originally thought." Danny mused as he looked down at his chai and sighed painfully, "I don't understand-" he groaned out miserably.
"Let me lay it out for you, Fenton. You are terrified of committing to Vlad because you are worried he won't stay in love with you. You're afraid he's going to leave you. I mean, think about it, you've only just found out you will probably have a longer life expectancy than the rest of us, than those you care about. Vlad's in the same boat, but if he leaves, I mean your not only looking at a painful break up cause you are in love with him but also the pain of splitting your cores. It's like divorce but ten times worse. It is a lot to think about and not something you should take lightly." Valarie agreed, "But you also got to realize, considering everything Vlad has gone through in his life, how obsessive he can be...do you really think he'd turn his back on the only other person in the world who is like him? And even if he does….so what?" Valarie asked and Danny gave her an incredulous look.
"So what? This is me taking a two-month break from Vlad, how do you think I'd survive Mr. Money-bags dumping my sorry ass." and the young man groaned, "Not to mention dealing with a shredded core if he suddenly wanted to separate because he came to his senses and wanted to date someone his own age who knows what the hell is going on in their life like Vlad should!"
"How does someone get over any break-up...it just takes time-" Valarie shrugged, "Besides if you really think Vlad will be over you in a few years you're better off figuring it out now while you still have your friends and family around to help pull you out of it. You've always been a strangely emotional guy, Danny, but even so, if things end badly, you have people to help you. You're not alone. And even when we are all gone, you really don't think charming, kind thoughtful Danny Fenton won't have made some new friends?" and she nudges him playfully and to her satisfaction, she sees the barest trace of a smile.
"So, what would you do if you were in my position?" Danny asked.
Valarie thought on it a moment before she said with a smile in her voice, "What if I was half-ghost and found the perfect partner in the only other half-ghost that existed and he was no longer an evil creepy psycho? You better believe I'd take the chance."
"Really?" Danny asked in surprise.
Valarie sighed and smiled as she looked up at the sky, the stars faint but visible in the freezing night, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Danny. But, honestly, if the only thing holding you back from being with Vlad is the fear that he might leave you...that you're not good enough…. I mean, don't you think the pain of never knowing would be worse? Think about it, you can move on from a bad break up, but if you never even try...that'll eat at you for the rest of your life... however extra long it might be."
Danny thought about that before he gave a great big sigh, "You're right. The fear I have of Vlad rejecting me down the road if the relationship doesn't turn out how he hoped isn't near as bad as going the rest of my life without him, or never knowing what could have happened. I need to at least try. I can't act like I don't love him, and I can't pretend like I don't want to be with him. It's a lie, one I don't feel like telling anymore."
"Good choice." Valarie said and the pair stood, Danny, taking her hands and smiling calmly, "Thanks, Val." and he kissed her cheek gently, "Hope Devon realizes what a Wonderwoman he has."
"Oh, he does. But, in case he ever forgets, and things don't turn out with you and Vlad, why not look me up, okay, Fenton?" and she leaned in and kissed his cheek in return before Danny chuckled, "Deal."
They hugged and as Valarie pulled away she asked, "Are you going to go see him tonight?"
"I want to, but, no. I'm going to take the two months he gave me and focus on getting my grades up and putting some cash away. If I have any hopes of keeping on par with a guy like Vlad, I need to get myself back to the top of the pile where I belong."
"Go get'em, ghost boy." and Danny gave her the chai with a laugh and transformed into Phantom before he took off into the night sky, the brilliance of flying finally coming back to him and making him feel free. He soared up high, looking down at the city of Madison and saw Vlad's lone mansion off in the distance, standing like a singular ship in the darkness of the never-ending sea.
He pulled out his phone and re-read the text he had yet to send, modifying it to resemble the newfound determination that was inside him and hit send.
I want to come home. I am sorry I hurt you. I'll earn back your trust and I'll be ready for our future together come March. Just wait, you'll see. I promise I will fix this. DF
Danny was good to his word and for the next month, he muscled down and got his grades back up to where they needed to be. He also squirreled away all the cash he could get his hands on from his job. He did not hear, see or feel Vlad for the duration of that time though the older halfa was never far from his mind. Still, he focused on his personal life and mental state to such a degree that the next time he talked to Sam and Tucker he was ready to tell them his big decision.
They took it in stride and while Sam seemed more okay with it than Tucker, due to their shared conversation the month previous, neither discouraged him. It felt much better to be able to talk openly now with his friends about what was going on with Vlad and his choice to pursue the older halfa seemed more natural now that he had figured out what his biggest fears were.
Spring break was coming up and Danny wanted to make sure that break was going to be one to remember. He discussed his idea in-depth with Sam and Tucker and both of them seemed to like the idea he presented to them.
When Danny wasn't working or getting caught up on his homework he spent time simply existing with himself and trying to rationalize why he shouldn't let his fears get the better of him.
Making the realization that his fear of commitment stemmed from the idea that he wasn't good enough and that Vlad would eventually grow tired of Danny and his woefully lacking life experience, the young man was determined to be better.
He wasn't going to let his own lack of self-worth stand in the way of the things he wanted. This was his moment to stand because he realized this wasn't just about Vlad. How would he ever make something of himself, get the type of job he wanted, succeed in life if he didn't invest in himself and have the confidence needed to push forward.
He would make his stand now, prove to himself that he was good enough and that he could not only commit but he could put his self-doubt aside and embrace the life Vlad was offering to him. And after doing so, he was going to continue to move forward and excel and if Vlad decided to leave him, Danny would force himself to keep going.
But for now, just for now, he wasn't going to think about the possibility of loss and instead chose to think about the possibility of love and happiness. Any time doubt tried to creep in he forced it away, choosing instead to focus on the positive memories he had made with Vlad over the last six months.
The only time he truly struggled was when he slept. Now that he had sorted out most of his inner issues sleep came more readily and he felt much better since he was back into his old sleep schedule.
However, any remaining doubt that Danny had been unable to chase away came in spades while he slept, his dreams bringing to him the horrors that came with uncertainty and no guarantees. Vlad leaving him, Vlad refusing to open his door, Vlad saying such acidic things about how Danny was just a child and had no future, spitting off that he needed a more mature partner and that he was going to take his core back. The feeling of Vlad's love draining from his, his core being shredded to such a degree he could no longer function. The sound of Vlad laughing at how pathetic he was for thinking someone like Vlad could ever love an awkward freak like him.
It came in horrid torrents of a subconscious deluge and Danny would wake sweaty and shaken, reciting to himself that Vlad loved him, that it was all in his head and that he was worth the man's love if Vlad wanted to give it to him.
He fought it, never let his mind stray down the road of excuses and justification for negative thoughts. He became a stone against his own inner demons and he often wondered if this was how Vlad had felt for so long. An inner struggle that was nothing but Vlad justifying his actions when he knew they were wrong and battling with his subconscious as well as the morals he had been raised with but chose to ignore.
It was something that had hit Danny hard, thinking that Vlad had not been born that way, he had not been born evil or a half-ghost. His life and choices had shaped him into the villain he had been and the new man he had become and Danny couldn't take that knowledge for granted.
At the beginning of March Danny finally caught sight of Vlad. The man had come into the office for some reason or another and when he looked up from his desk he saw the man standing there and talking to the main manager of the office.
Danny's eyes honed in, his core ignited without Danny's say so and in a moment of utter shock, he slapped hands to his chest and heaved in deep breaths. He pulled back with all his might, reeling in his core's energy that was like a bloodhound on the scent and fell out of his chair in a sad attempt to keep the energy from essentially jumping out of him and surging into Vlad.
Sweat came to his brow and his heart felt like it was thundering out of his chest but he lay there on the ground for a few minutes before he felt his core calm and he was able to slink back up into his chair and sit down. He tried to catch his breath, wiped at the sweat, felt how hot his cheeks were and as he looked up through the small windows of his office his eyes locked with Vlad's who was now alone and staring directly at him.
Danny felt his core slip again and he closed his eyes, grit his teeth and slammed fists down onto the desk as he nearly yelled, "Stop!" Thankfully his door was closed and so he drew very little attention. When he managed to open his scrunched eyes he saw Vlad was still staring at him, a look of half-formed worry and confusion at the younger man's antics and Danny mouthed out the word, "Sorry." before giving a gentle wave and a smile.
Vlad made a face Danny could only interpret as longing mixed with sadness before he turned and walked away. Danny instinctively holding out a hand though Vlad didn't look back and simply kept walking.
Danny made a decision that day that he was going through with his plan. When his shift ended he pulled out his phone and sent a rather adamant text.
I don't need to wait until the end of the month. I'm ready now. I want to come home, Vlad. I've made my decision, we don't have to do this anymore, I'm ready. DF
He packed his bag slowly, waited to see if Vlad would respond, knew the text was a little desperate-sounding but hoped it was also sincere enough that Vlad didn't dismiss it.
He had just turned off the light in his office when his phone pinged and he quickly read the text.
Are you certain? VM
Danny swore he could almost hear the man's skepticism through the text but smiled nonetheless and responded.
I am. I want to come home. DF
Come to my office on the top floor. VM
It never really occurred to Danny that Vlad might actually be in the office today. Even though he had seen the man earlier it was rare for Vlad to actually be in the office more than once a week or for any length of time. But as he pulled his bag more securely onto his shoulder he felt the excitement grow and dismissed his thoughts on the matter.
Danny went to the main lobby and rode the elevator all the way up to the top floor before he stepped off and noticed it was nothing but a long fancy hall. There were smaller less noticeable doors that ran along with it, with nameplates and such to denote those that ran the companies directly under Vlad, but it was the large pair of double doors at the end of the hall that caught Danny's attention.
"Show off." he murmured with an affectionate smirk before he started to head in that direction. As he grew closer he realized his core was humming more brightly and he felt the distinct pull of his core trying to reach out. It took him several seconds to get his core under control and prepare to speak with Vlad.
He felt nervous, excited and his stomach was filled with butterflies but he was determined to prove to the billionaire that he was ready to commit and spend the rest of his life with the man, or at the very least until Vlad got bored and tossed him aside.
Danny came to stand outside the doors and waited a moment, his hand resting on the doorknob. Part of Danny wanted to let his core reach out so he could see how Vlad was feeling but Danny shook his head and refrained. Once again, doing so would be a breach of what Vlad had asked Danny to do. Still, he needed to be strong in this moment and not second guess or doubt himself.
He turned the handle and opened the door, coming to spy Vlad behind his desk with a man standing in front of it, hands held tight behind his back. The unknown individual glanced over his shoulder as Vlad continued to talk to see who entered.
Dark green eyes met Danny's before they dismissed him quickly and refocused back on Vlad.
"So, as you know, the situation might resolve itself before the deadline, if that is the case I want everything ready. We keep it simple, classy and down to earth. I don't want something over the top and I most assuredly don't want anything that will overwhelm the possible parties involved. You think you can handle it?"
"Rest assured Mr. Masters, everything will be well in hand and ready to be put into action should the business arrangement come to fruition. Have no fear, I will take care of it. I shall wait to hear from you. At your command, I will make sure everything is perfect."
"Excellent, that is all, Robert." and with that the man turned and headed for the door, sparing Danny a rather sharp glance before he turned up his nose and left, closing the doors softly behind him.
Danny looked after him before turning to Vlad and asking, "What was that about? He looked like he wanted to punch me." Danny said with a bit of amusement and confusion.
Vlad looked at him, face open but unreadable, a solid mask with zero emotion. "That was my Events Manager. He doesn't like anyone, it's nothing to worry about or take personally."
Looking to the older man across from him Danny noticed a sharpness to Vlad's eyes, a sharpness he hadn't seen in a long time. Danny felt his heart beat a tiny bit faster at the sight of it, and he felt his core pulse.
"Please, sit down, Daniel. It seems we have much to discuss." Vlad offered with a small gesture of his hand and the young man sat down slowly, his eyes locked onto Vlad's face, ears honed in on the man's voice. He inhaled slowly, catching the man's natural scent and for a moment he felt relaxed and finally content.
Nothing was said for a moment before Vlad threaded his fingers together and placed them on the desk before him, rather business-like as his face still revealed nothing of his mood, "So," Vlad stated, "You really think you're ready, do you? You've made your decision?"
Danny nodded as he said with certainty, "Yes, I've...I've taken the time to think about it and I made a few realizations and I think I'm ready...I mean...I want to...do this...with you." and he gave a rather weak smile, knowing he probably sounded unsure but in fact, he wasn't. It was just strange to hear Vlad talk in such a perfunctory way. He was nothing but an unreadable stone, his movements minimum and Danny was having a really hard time reading him.
His core gave a frustrated pulse and Danny brought a hand to his chest as he winced and closed his eyes, "Damn it-"
"Something the matter?" Vlad asked with the pop of an eyebrow, "Yeah, my core, it's been acting up more than usual. It's actually starting to hurt. On the way up here, it surged a little. And it pretty much tried to explode out of my chest this afternoon when I saw you on the main floor."
"I see. I was wondering why you were flailing around like a fish out of water." Vlad mused though there was no humor in his voice and it put Danny on edge.
Vlad stood and crossed to the far side of his office, coming to stand next to the massive floor to ceiling windows and staring out over the city of Madison, hands held tight behind his back.
"You're absolutely sure? Obviously, your core is more than ready, my own core has been humming much louder since you came in and I could literally feel you coming up the elevator. No doubt our ghost halves are ready. But I need to know that you are also ready. I'm not going to continue this little game of cat and mouse, I've too many things on my plate as it is, and as you know while my patience has been well-groomed over the last thirty years of my life, it's been growing very thin as of late."
Danny felt like something was off, and he noticed his body tense instinctually, "Yeah...yes...ahem, I want to...commit to you. I'm ready...if you...if you still want me." Danny offered with uncertainty.
"I do," Vlad's voice was harder somehow, more clipped. It held a rather sly and wicked sound to it.
Danny swore his ears perked, felt his fingers twitch and his heart sped up a little more.
"Are you absolutely sure? Once we are joined there is no going back. Once it happens, you're with me, no take-backs, changes of heart and no separating our cores." and Vlad's voice was low, the tone sent shivers up Danny's spine as a hint of fear started to peek it's head up in the back of his mind.
"Yes...I'm...sure. Vlad...is everything….is everything alright? Are you...okay?" Danny asked cautiously.
"Oh, yes, just fine." and the man turned slowly and headed for the main doors, coming to stand before them quietly and Danny heard a sharp snick of the locks before Vlad turned back to him.
"Vlad?" Danny asked softly, standing from his chair as he once again felt a familiar and potent terror run through his body. His eyes started jumping around the room, his core started to hum louder. He realized all too soon that he was instinctually preparing for a fight, studying his surroundings while simultaneously keeping Vlad fully in his sights.
Vlad's mask of indifference suddenly turned, a rather harsh frown and narrow eyes greeted him, "Don't be alarmed, Daniel. I simply want this conversation to remain private. You'd be surprised how many people like to pop their heads in when it's not wise to do so." and everything about that comment sent Danny's brain into overdrive. The tone, the look on Vlad's face, the hidden meaning underneath, it all reminded Danny too clearly of years long past.
He suddenly felt like he was in a trap, but was he? It felt like one, but he hadn't seen any signs of such a thing. Had he missed it? Was he blinded by his own excitement and unable to see this coming? Was it all in his head?
"Vlad, what's going on? You look...you sound...are you mad? I...I didn't mean to upset you. I just...I didn't want to wait another month but if you need more time to-" Vlad took a step towards him and Danny jerked back.
"No fighting," Danny said quickly, holding up hands in front of himself as his mind went to the worst possible outcome of Vlad being angry.
Vlad's frown grew more intense, his eyes flashed red as fangs seemed to appear but he did not turn into Plasmius, "So that's it, is it? I'm still hurt by your actions towards me, and a little mad about it to boot and because I show it, you assume I am preparing to attack, that I've spent the last month making some dastardly plan. You instantly assume I've reverted, that I am some wicked evil villain again. Well, glad to see the last six months meant so little to you." Vlad hissed and Danny shook his head, hoping to god this entire thing was just a misunderstanding.
"No!" and Danny looked down in shame, his body relaxed just a little as he tried to explain, "The last six months, they're the best time I've ever had. I can admit it, I am not too proud to tell you it either. I want to be with you. I...I love you. Please, if I've misunderstood...forgive me...I'm just...I guess I went into autopilot. I shouldn't have assumed you were-"
"Maybe you assumed correct." and Vlad's voice came out next to his ear and Danny looked up in shock as Vlad stood right in front of him.
"What-" Danny started in surprise before Vlad grabbed him by the throat and quickly shoved him back, pinning him down onto the desk and holding him there, "This is what you expected, right? That I'd return to violence, that I'd have some horrible scheme waiting. Well, I didn't. But seeing you so terrified…. it brings back some rather delicious memories." Vlad said softly into his ear.
"V-Vlad!" Danny choked out as his hands tried to pry Vlad's fingers from his throat, "You say you love me, that you want to be with me...but you are nothing but a lier! If you truly loved me, after six months, some form of trust should have formed. Even a small droplet. I've been inside you, Daniel. We've been intimate, spoken to each other like lovers, but you can't even give me the benefit of the doubt, you can't give me one shred of trust. So...if you really think so little of me after everything we've been through, perhaps the last...what is it now, how long have I been trying to change? Ah yes, it's going on four years….the last four years of my life have been pointless, meaningless….my heart hurts Daniel and I cannot do it anymore! I...I...can't...I WON'T!"
"V-Vlad, please...let me...let me explain...it wasn't you-" Danny managed to wheeze out.
Vlad's fingers released their hold and Danny jerked up to a sitting position, "Save your excuses. I'm mad and hurt and can't deal with your lies."
"Vlad, please! I do trust you! Clockwork told me months ago-"
"Clockwork? The spirit of time? You know him?" and Vlad looked over his shoulder at Danny and the young man slid off the desk and nervously nodded, "Yeah. It's a long story, but he's sort of my...a mentor...and a friend. He told me you've changed, that I didn't have anything to worry about...that being with you...it isn't dangerous, that you really have changed. I do trust you. I guess after so many years of fighting, I just...you were unpredictable for so long! I never knew when you might attack, or talk or try and kill me...I will probably be on my toes a little longer...but you said you'd do anything for me...could you possibly just...you know...be patient?" and Danny glanced up from under his bangs and winced as he waited for either an explosion or for Vlad to aqueous.
For a few seconds, Vlad said nothing until finally he turned around to face Danny and crossed his arms over his chest, "You know, you aren't the only one who has friends in the Ghost Zone. This last month I went to see one of mine and got his two cents on the mating habits of ghosts. And your subsequent attitude."
Danny said nothing, simply waiting so see where this might be going.
"I was told that not all rites of mating go smoothly. In fact, sometimes it's not unheard of for two ghosts who are interested in each other to put off mating for several hundred years. There are also known to be cases of something called Dead Feet."
"Dead Feet? What's that?" Danny asked nervously.
"The ghostly equivalent of Cold Feet. And I know you know what that is."
"Yeah, I...I do." Danny said with regret as he looked down at the floor before sinking into the nearest chair.
"Well as it turns out while in the human world Cold Feet usually stops a marriage abruptly and can end the relationship all together...in the ghost zone...it's handled a little differently."
Danny looked up at him and his brow furrowed, "how?" He asked, though the rather obvious leer on Vlad's face gave Danny a pretty good idea.
"In the Ghost Zone, Dead Feet is considered to be based in certainty. While the human equivalent of cold feet is based on uncertainty. A human man isn't sure if he wants to marry his fiance so he gets Cold Feet and calls off or pushes back the wedding. In the ghost zone, when a romantic partner gets Dead Feet...it's a sign for action. Dead Feet signals that the party in question who is having the doubts needs to be eased of their concerns swiftly and the only way to do that is to push the bond forward, ease their mind by making the bond. It's a tad over-dramatic but the results I saw were rather gratifying."
"S-so what are you saying? Do you want to force me to bond? There's no need, I'm coming to you willingly, right now, I'm here ready and waiting."
"Are you?" Vlad admonished with a cock of his brow.
"I've told you so. I've done my thinking and I've had my space. I'm done with it. I want to do this with you. Why won't you believe me?" Danny asked and it was his turn to sound annoyed.
"Because I think you're lying!" Vlad suddenly yelled and Danny was quick to yell back, "I'm not lying, Vlad!"
Vlad gave a frustrated growl as he rubbed at his eyes with fingers and then suddenly as if it was an afterthought he said swiftly, "Fine, if it's not a lie, then release your core," Vlad said, glaring at Danny doubtfully.
"What?"
"You heard me, Daniel. Don't play dumb. If you are invested in this final decision of yours and are ready to take the next step and bond with me than release your core and let it touch mine. We have no fear of feeling pain or withdrawal if we plan to join our cores anyway. Let me feel it, feel how much you want it."
And Danny stared at him, his hands gripping onto the back of the chair as he turned in his seat to look at Vlad.
"A-alright." Danny stuttered out as he slowly stood and turned to face Vlad. He let down his guard and released his core, the energy instantly rushing to Vlad and encapsulating his own quickly. Danny saw the man's eyes twitch, his fists clench and jaw set tight but otherwise, he made no noise or indication that the sudden wash of cold-core energy affected him.
Danny didn't feel Vlad's energy and realized the man wasn't sharing his own core. Though it distressed him he kept his mouth shut, knowing Vlad was purposefully keeping his own feelings under lock and key.
He watched as Vlad closed his eyes, his brow furrowing as he took in Danny's thoughts and feelings, most likely little bits of memories from the past month and his desires.
After nearly a minute, which to Danny seemed to stretch on and on Vlad opened his eyes and looked at him, "You suffered." He said softly though his eyes still looked angry and his frown was firmly in place.
"I knew I made a mistake that night. I can't tell you how badly I wanted to come back to you. How I wanted to fix everything between us, admit I was wrong, beg you to forgive me. I was scared of a lot of things, but I wasn't scared of you, not of who you were and not of what you might become-"
"You were scared I'd leave," Vlad said matter of factly.
"Yes," Danny said looking down swiftly, regret weighing heavily in his chest.
"You think because you are so young and I am so much older I will lose interest...that I will toss you aside for someone more acclimated to my way of life, someone more mature, educated and business savvy. You do not see yourself as a worthy counterpart." Vlad stated though the look on his face was more akin to an annoying surprise than anger now.
Danny sighed and felt shame radiate across his cheeks, "It's true. But, I met an old friend in the park a few weeks back and she helped me come to terms with my issues. the truth is though I'm not-" and Danny hesitated because he didn't know how to explain it and as his frustration mounted he cursed, "Damn it, Vlad! I'm too young for you! I've got no life experience, no money or fame, no power or education, I am just some stupid kid with no grooming or class and I have absolutely no taste! I can't offer you anything! I can't go to fancy parties with you and rub elbows with the elites, I don't know anything about business, I can barely keep my grades afloat unless I do nothing but study and memorize everything I read! I am an idiot! What a guy like you could possibly see in a guy like me, I just don't understand it," and Danny walked over to the window and angrily pressed a hand to the glass, "The only thing we have in common is that we are both halfas and we both know my mom and dad! It's very frustrating to know the only way I would be any use to you at all is as a pawn in one of your evil schemes from four years ago or for sex and company. I'm not...not anything...I'm no one….but….I fell in love with you. I want to be with you desperately...but the fear I have of you leaving me...realizing you made a mistake...that I'm not all you thought I would be-" and Danny turned to look at him and pointed, "So I stalled, and fought you and resisted and blamed it on my fear of you going dark again. But in reality, the only thing I am really scared of is losing you down the road when you realize I'm just some young punk who wants to join NASA but doesn't have the skills or mind for it and will end up flipping burgers for the rest of his life."
Anger swelled in Danny's chest while frustration and regret swam in his mind about wasting so much time on petty fears. He just wished he had been honest with himself sooner so he could have told Vlad, maybe things could have been different. Instead, he was here, having come in hopes of Vlade forgiving him and the pair moving on with their lives together, but only to find all the trust they had built the last six months was gone, both of their love for each other replaced with hurt and anger.
"I've...I've ruined everything...again...like I always do." Danny muttered and he looked at Vlad from under bent brows, "It's something you never really knew about me. I mess things up a lot, usually nearly kill myself in the process of trying to fix it. I always screw up everything, I can never get anything right. I'm so sorry I screwed this up, screwed us up. I wanted to fix it, but I guess...I guess….I should just go-"
And Danny headed towards the doors, moved past Vlad swiftly but as he fumbled to unlock the handles he felt heat come behind him, Vlad's chest pressing into his back, "You want to know why I tried to force our joining on you? Why I seemingly reverted to my selfish ways?" and the man's lips came next to Danny's ear as he waited and Danny took a deep shaky breath as he said softly, "Why? Why did you do it?"
"You asked me to, Daniel," Vlad said softly, a pair of hot hands coming to the young man's shoulders as lips gently kissed his neck and Danny shivered and didn't even try to stop the moan of want that escaped him.
"When we join, we can hear each other's thoughts, feel each other's emotions. Do you know what your loudest thought was, Daniel?" Vlad asked, the hands on Danny's shoulders sliding down his arms to take his hands and Danny gave a little whine, "Your inner voice, the one you tend to ignore...it begged me over and over to do it, to make the bond happen, to remove the choice you couldn't make and ease the burden. You wanted me to force it on you so you wouldn't have to keep trying to fight the fear inside of you. The fear that is still there."
"I'm sorry." Danny suddenly whispered, "I've tried so hard to overcome it, so I can be with you, so I can come home. I failed you and I've failed myself. I don't know what to do, Vlad. Between our past history, my own fears of being rejected, the first relationship I've ever had with a man which happens to be with someone who's older and has his life fully established and your dominate personality I just got overwhelmed. I got lost in it all. Then there's school, my job, the fact I'm going to outlive my family, and... Jesus, I haven't even thought about how to tell them about my ghost powers let alone a relationship with my parent's old college buddy. God, it's all so much and it's happened so quickly." Danny said feeling woefully insufficient compared to his much older counterpart.
"Turn around, Daniel," Vlad said as he gave another gentle kiss to his temple and the young man turned, head down and eyes on the floor.
"Do you want to know how to fix this?" Vlad admonished gently and Danny looked up at him, eyes wide and mouth parted, "Yes." he said quickly.
Vlad brought a hand to his face, cupping his jaw as he leaned down and said so softly, "You will come home with me, you will go to bed with me, and you will let me join our cores, you will become my mate and stop fighting me, and yourself." and Vlad leaned in and kissed him tenderly, an arm snaking around Danny's waist and pulling him close.
When they pulled apart Danny's light blue eyes met Vlad's dark ones, "And if I panic again?" he asked.
"You'll trust me to do right by you, you will trust me to guide you, protect you and care for you. Give me your faith, Daniel. I will not let you down." Vlad said with determination.
Danny stared into those sincere eyes and felt himself relax a little before he pressed into the man's arms and hugged him, "I've missed you, Fruitloop." he whispered into the man's chest.
"I've missed you, Little Badger, more than you will ever know."
They remained like this for several seconds before Danny sighed, "So what now?" and he met Vlad's eyes as the older man took on a rather serious gaze.
"Now, we go home and we join our cores. There is no longer a choice, either you let me join our cores or we never see each other again, your call, Daniel." and Vlad's eyes were a mix of hope and worry. He was essentially ordering Danny to comply but he held within himself a fear that such force would make Danny reject him again so he had given Danny an out by saying he had a choice.
Still, Danny nodded and took Vlad's hand in his own before he said softly, "Whatever you want."
"No, Daniel, it has to be something you want too. I can take the lead, guide our cores together, start the process of joining, but if you resist me….our cores can't take much more of this tug-of-war we've been doing. For both our safety and health we need to do this or you need to let me go and say goodbye."
Danny sighed and looked down, "I know."
"So? What do you want, Daniel?" Vlad asked as his eyes stayed honed in on the young man before him.
"Take me home," Danny said as he looked up at Vlad and gave a soft if not worried smile. Vlad in return finally smiled back and he looked somewhere between relieved and excited.
Vlad held Danny's hand all the way from his office to the sub-basement where the car park was. He held his hand to the car and once they both got in he took the young man's hand again. Danny didn't ask why or try to pull away. Instead, he savored the feeling of that big warm hand wrapped around his and glanced between Vlad's profile and out the window.
He had yet to feel anything from Vlad's core though he was letting his own core stay exposed and nestled around Vlad's. He felt good to feel connected to the man again and Danny's emotions were running between the emotions of relief, excitement, nervousness, and worry.
Still, he had planned to do this and while he may have rushed it, not wanting to wait a whole extra month he was mostly sound in his decision.
"You're very emotional tonight." Vlad murmured softly as they turned down the final road that led to Vlad's house. Farmlands whipped by and Danny noticed the man accelerated a little more.
"It's a life-changing decision, Vlad. Wouldn't you be more worried if I wasn't emotional at all?"
"Perhaps." The man said softly, not taking his eyes off the road as he continued with the final stretch of the drive.
"You're not nervous at all? I mean, not to ruin the moment but, you're about to commit to spending the rest of your life with me. An eighteen years old whose only a freshman in college, who chose to be a superhero when he was just a kid and barely has a grasp on adult life. It doesn't worry you at all?"
"No," Vlad said, his eyes still not leaving the road.
"But I'm-"
"You're young. Yes, that is true. But...you won't be young forever, and you have no clue how you might change or grow over the next twenty years. It hasn't even occurred to you that of the two of us, you might tire of me before I tire of you. You're not the only one taking a chance, Daniel. You're not the only one who could get hurt. I'm simply used to it, and I know what pain awaits me if you decide to do so. I'm acclimated to it and will greet said pain as an old friend. I'm not scared of it."
Danny thought about that the rest of the way home, keeping Vlad in his peripheral as he did. Vlad was right, the thought had not occurred to Danny that he may be the one who chooses to leave in the future and the pain of it would fall more squarely into Vlad's court if the man did not want him to do so.
We're both taking a risk, both committing to something that could eventually hurt us if it doesn't work. I keep seeing Vlad like a man who doesn't concern himself with the trivial emotions of regular people. I didn't even consider that it would hurt him to leave me or the idea of me leaving him, I just assumed he'd easily toss me aside like it wouldn't phase him. God, why am I so thoughtless, maybe I really am as stupid as I think I am.
"Whatever you thinking, Daniel...don't. Your thoughts are a jumbled mess that I can't decipher but your emotions are clear as glass. Do not descend back into that black cloud of depression. If you do I will make you go to counseling, and trust me, it stinks."
As the car pulled into the driveway Danny looked at him with doubt, "You went to a counselor?"
"For a time. How do you think I learned to control my anger? A lobotomy?"
"I don't know, I guess I just assumed you did some Vladdian type stuff, meditation, insane workout, punching a dummy with my face on it over and over."
Vlad actually smirked a little before he put the car in park, "all true-"
"Hey." Danny chirped with annoyance.
"I'm joking, Daniel, obviously...partially anyway. Meditation, talking out my issues and a series of self-help books helped me to learn how to balance my mood swings and once again reign in my aggression. However, things like self-deprecation, depression, and anxiety are often fixed needlessly with pills. And I'd hate to have to drug you."
Danny shivered at the thought, memories of Spectra and how she had played with Danny's often negative and self-harming emotions making his skin crawl.
Vlad let out a small shiver himself and looked over at Daniel with a rather sour face, "Careful of your cores output."
"Yeah, sorry," Danny said with a sheepish smile.
"And remind me to kill that she-devil next time I see her."
"Uh, what?" Danny asked as he opened his door and got out of the car.
"Nothing, another jest," Vlad said as he walked around the car and took Danny's hand once again.
"You're not serious right?" Danny asked.
"No, but I may toy with her in the future if she ever comes near you again." Vlad hissed and Danny winced and pulled back his core so as not to let more memories like that escape to Vlad.
"Don't!" Vlad said suddenly as he tightened his hold on Danny's hand and looked down at him, "you are not to pull your core away from me. Do you understand?" And Vlad sounded angry, even a little anxious so Danny quickly nodded.
Vlad took his jaw in hand and stared into Danny's eyes, "Tonight you must remain open to me, keep your core exposed. I want to know exactly how you feel. No hiding from me, understand?" Vlad said adamantly.
Danny once again nodded and as Vlad released his face and pulled Danny towards the front door the young man protested just a little, "But you're hiding your core from mine. Why won't you share your core with me?"
Vlad phased through the door, his ghostly energy extending around Danny and pulling him along behind.
"Because I don't want you feeling my emotions right now. It would not do." Vlad offered as they both became tangible again.
"What does that mean?!" Danny asked incredulously and he finally pulled his hand from Vlad's though he continued to follow the man towards the stairs.
"My emotions need to be kept from you. After we are bonded-"
"What? No! That's not how this works. If we do this we do it together, I don't want you to hide your emotions from me, especially right before we bond. Neither of us should hide the truth about how we feel, not about each other or this situation or for what we are about to do." And Danny stopped walking and crossed his arms, glaring at the man with determination.
"Daniel, do not test me right now. It is best if for once you listen to me. My emotions, my feelings are hard for me to control as the moment, I don't want to overwhelm you when you're finally ready to-"
"No way, Vlad. You share or this doesn't happen. I can't be a good friend, let alone lover if you block off your emotions from me every time they get a little overwhelming. Share them with me, or I walk." and Danny made sure his voice was strong, determined and irrefutable.
All night long he had played the repentant fool, all night since he reached out to Vlad he had kept his tail between his legs and hoped to God Vlad would take him back. But he wasn't going to back down on this, Vlad was going to share or Danny was going to...okay….he wasn't going to walk but he hoped Vlad wouldn't call his bluff.
Vlad stared at him a moment before he let out a very heavy and tired sigh and squared himself up, closing his eyes and letting his core finally go. The jolt of burning heat was shocking, no longer resembling that of a warm blanket, it was like fire in his chest and the emotions clashed and banged around inside him.
Seething anger, aggression, pain, anguish, the love that Danny had been so fond of feeling was nearly toxic in its power, making Danny's head spin and he dropped to his knees as he shook. A jolt of concern, Vlad's concern and yet a sort of twisted satisfaction that Danny was finally understanding Vlad hadn't been joking.
He gasped and clutched at his chest, "Pull back, Vlad, pull back!" Danny wheezed out and he felt arms come around him, he was being lifted up as a voice said softly, "I can't. That's why I didn't want to share them with you, Little Badger. I've always been overly emotional, it has been a constant torment in my life. And for the last month my happiness, my inner calm, my tranquility has rested solely on you and your decision. When I got that text from you this after-" and a very sharp throb of anxiety and excitement rushed through him and Danny jerked.
"When you thought I might attack you-" Vlad continued and rage and anguish hit hard, doubt, feeling alone, so much regret and guilt, more anger at himself...at the world...at anything and everything. Danny twisted in the man's arm, "Stop!" Danny yelled.
"I can't!" Vlad barked back, "I told you I didn't want to share my core with you. That it would be too much. Now that I've done it I can't pull back. I can't turn it off!" Vlad growled out. Danny realized the man was taking him towards the bedroom and part of him was soothed by the thought while another started to panic.
"Will it always be like this after we join, will I have to suffer through all your mood swings, these suffocating emotions, feelings, all this hate." Danny started to cry as another bout of sadness and regret hit him.
"My hope is that once it's done and we've mated our cores will even each other out. I will give you confidence and you will teach me control."
"Me? T-teach you?"
"There are many things you can teach me, Daniel. Some things you already have. And I am grateful, which is why I am going to repay the favor, right now." And Vlad laid Danny down on the bed, standing only long enough to strip off his clothes.
The excitement and fear inside him grew but these were Vlad's emotions and they made Danny jerk and whine. He watched through blinking twitching eyes as Vlad came to kneel at his bent legs and take a deep slow breath, letting it out carefully before doing it again, his eyes closed and his face focused.
The emotions Danny was feeling lessened considerably as he lay there panting and sweaty, "You're terrified, I can feel it. But I promise I'm not going to hurt you." Vlad offered.
"Maybe we should wait until your emotions are calmer; until you've gotten them more firmly under control." Danny offered as his heart pounded and his body shook, "No more waiting. I can't...I won't wait anymore. You've told me you want this, so I am going to make it happen, whether you're willing in the heat of the moment or not." Vlad said sternly and then his hands were pressing up Danny's shirt, pulling at his shoes, socks, and pants.
He started to massage and rub along Danny's stomach, side and chest, his eyes still sharp and focused though his hands shook too.
"V-Vlad." Danny moaned and the young man felt a potent shot of lust rush through him and his length began to harden. A hand suddenly gripped him, gently started to work him and Danny moaned again.
His hands came up, ran across Vlad's chest, over his shoulders, fingers gently scratching down his back before also coming to grip Vlad's length, the first time he had actively touched the man in a sexual way with his hands.
The noise Vlad made drew Danny's focus and as he finally looked up to Vlad above him his heartbeat double-timed and heat pooled. Vlad moaned and whispered out, "There it is, your arousal, so potent, you're ready for me." and another shot of Vlad's own want started to pulse inside Danny.
"We're finishing this tonight, Daniel. And heaven help you if you try to stop me." and Vlad shoved Danny's legs apart, pressed his hips forward and started to push. He didn't wait to be fully inside before he laid down on top of Danny and wrapped arms around, pinning him again and giving the young man no room to move and then Danny felt the man's fangs bite hard into that beautiful sweet spot.
He jerked, started to gasp out breaths and whine as his body squirmed and the pleasure built inside of him.
The man's voice came clear as a bell into his head and Danny jerked at the sudden sound of it.
Five minutes, that's the minimum. Don't pull away, don't refuse me or resist, just allow me five minutes of control and dominance over you, then I swear, Daniel, never again. I promise...give yourself to me completely, five minutes….
Vlad...Vlad wait...please…
NO! You will submit, you will give yourself to me!
Yes, I will, I will give you control…
Danny tried to relax, tried to allow Vlad the time needed to make the bond and connect. His body wanted to move, wanted to touch the man, kiss him but also move away as the emotions were very powerful this time around. Still, he tried to remain motionless and let Vlad do what needed to be done.
Four minutes now, just relax, enjoy it, feel me, love me, focus on me...nothing else matters, Daniel. Only us.
Only...us…
And Danny was lost, images, feelings, pleasure, pain, and want, all of it Vlad's, burning into him and as it did before, Danny's core opened and Vlad's energy rushed in, covering and filling Danny's core and then he heard Vlad's voice again.
I'm opening to you, don't panic, let your energy flow into my core.
Danny couldn't explain it, it was as if he could feel a door opening and then his energy rushed forward into Vlad and the man started to move. He began to thrust near violently but Danny didn't feel pain, just shot after shot of pleasure, his mouth opening to grunt and moan with each thrust and he felt Vlad squeeze him tighter.
Two minutes...lay still, be with me, don't panic, we're joining, don't pull away, don't stop, give yourself to me and I'll give myself to you. So close, so close!
"Vlad, don't stop!" Danny suddenly yelled and he felt his nails dig into the man's back, more surges of lust, desire, and love. Pleasure shot up his spine and near blinding ecstasy in his mind as he felt their energies start to merge. Suddenly there was a flash of bright light and Danny transformed, the shock of it making him jerk and grunt. Seconds later another flash came and Vlad transformed as well.
One minute, god, say my name Daniel, SCREAM IT! The man's voice growled inside his head.
Danny's mouth opened, the man's name pouring out in between expletives and blasphemy and Vlad moaned into Danny's throat as he bit a little harder.
The sensations were overwhelming and Danny's body started to act out, squirming and jerking as his thighs gripped tightly around Vlad's thrusting hips in an attempt to close and Vlad's voice suddenly screamed in his head.
Thirty seconds! Lay still for me, calm, god Daniel, so close, lay still, easy, calm down...almost there!
"It's too much, Vlad! Too much! I can't, I can't do it, stop please, too much!" Danny begged out loud but Vlad's bite once again intensified, he shifted to bring more weight to Danny's chest and his arms squeezed tighter and nails dug into Danny's back. He continued to pound into Danny's body, moaning and humming as Danny felt that all too familiar spark in his gut.
Ten seconds, Daniel! T-TEN!
"Vlad, VLAD, VLAAD!" and Danny felt his back arch off the bed into Vlad, his orgasm potent and long as he cried out and felt his length twitching.
Almost there….Almost…..and….
Danny felt it, their cores seemed to solidify for just a moment before their own energies finally came back to each other and less than a second later Vlad fell over. He whispered Danny's name urgently as he gave his final strokes from his completion and when he fell limp on top of Danny he didn't pull out.
Danny was panting, his body suddenly aching and covered in sweat and he thought his heart might give out. They both reverted back to their human forms, the transition back happened slower than normal and after Danny felt spent.
"Vlad...pull out." he said and the man continued to breathe into his neck as he whispered out a horse, "No. Not yet, still...still…" and he felt the man's length twitch and Vlad moaned and pressed in a little deeper.
"I'm staying inside tonight, I'm staying inside you forever." he whispered and Danny moaned, "You can't…"
"We're bonded, I'll do whatever I please." Vlad part protested and part teased.
Danny sighed, not having the strength to fight him nor engage in a battle of teasing.
"So...it's done?" Danny asked.
"Yes, Daniel. It's done. You'll need to stay with me for the next few days, allow our fused cores time to fully settle and cement the bond. But otherwise, it's done."
"Wait, do you mean...Do I have to nest?"
Vlad gave a dry soft chuckle, "Actually we both do. Which means, for the next few days, you're not getting out of this bed. And neither am I."
"Oh God Vlad, we can't just bang for the next three days!" Danny complained, "My body can't handle that!"
"It can and it will. Besides, you're mine now, and I am yours. If you are good for me, I'll let you have your way with me." Vlad hummed as he finally moved off Danny and pulled out. He rolled to the side, pulled Danny close and the young man murmured with exhaustion, "You mean, you'll let me top?"
"Perhaps, if you're good and allow me my harmless indulgence."
"Mmm, wouldn't that be nice." Danny offered out sarcastically.
The pair lay in the silence of the room, basking in the afterglow and thinking their own separate thoughts. After awhile Vlad finally spoke, bringing his lips next to Danny's, "Tell me, Daniel, how do you feel now?"
Danny thought about it a moment before he opened his eyes and whispered in surprise, "Wait a second, I feel….I feel normal again. I feel...regular. My emotions, my thoughts...there-"
"No longer feeling depressed, anxious or self-destructive?"
Danny sat up pulling out of Vlad's hold as he looked at his legs, "What happened?" Danny asked.
"A little bit of my confidence, mixed with your own satisfaction. Our cores will help balance each other, just as you and I will support each other. As long as we are bonded- you will never feel not good enough, Daniel because you are everything I have ever wanted ." Vlad mused as he wrapped an arm around Danny's torso and pulled him back down to the bed, "You're a mess, young man. How 'bout a nice hot bath?" And Vlad kissed him gently as Danny hummed in delight.
When the kiss ended Danny look at Vlad and he finally was greeted with those soft adoring eyes, a gentle smirk and the warm blanket-like hum of Vlad's core and he sighed happily as he smiled, "Sounds great."
"Excellent," Vlad said as he kissed Danny softly and rolled from the bed. However to Danny's shock the man's legs suddenly gave and he fell to his knees, "Vlad! You okay?"
"Fine. Just a little weak, no worries, Daniel. Do be careful getting out of bed."
Danny watched the man enter the bathroom and he laid back against the pillows, Vlad popping his head out to ask swiftly, "Bubble bath or oils?"
"Hmmm, bubble bath." Danny chuckled.
"Oh, goodie! It's lavender scented!" Vlad said with excitement and then ducked his head back into the bathroom.
And just like that, Danny's billionaire ex enemy lover was back to being a teddy bear. Danny shook his head, chuckled and gave one last happy sigh as he stared up at the ceiling, content and relaxed and not at all sure what the big deal had even been in the first place. Everything was finally starting to fall into place. And Danny was suddenly very grateful for the turn his life had taken and if he was asked if he would do the last six months again...actually...seven months now...he most definitely would. There was no doubt in his mind.
A/N: Long chapter, sorry it took a bit longer to post,