Unshown Moments for Sam McTavish M.D. – Season 16

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Doc stood by the grave for a good long time. He didn't want to go, truthfully. He didn't want to leave her there. But the wind was beginning to pick up and it looked like it was about to rain. Besides, there was nothing more he could do for her.

"Doc?" Kitty moved to his side. "Weathers changing. We ought to go now." She and Matt had been standing back, allowing him some time at the graveside of the woman he'd fallen in love with and lost too soon.

Doc nodded absently but didn't speak. He wasn't sure he could. Finally tugging his hat on, bringing the brim low over his forehead, Doc turned and left Sam's grave, heading back down to his buggy. Uncharacteristically, he didn't extend an arm to Kitty or even wait for her.

But she understood.

"He gonna be alright?" Matt whispered as she returned to his side and they both watched Doc climb into his buggy and drive away.

"He will eventually." Kitty sighed. "But it won't be easy. He really did love her, ya know."

Matt nodded. He did know. Glancing over at Kitty, he wondered how Doc was still functioning. He wasn't sure he'd be able to if something were to happen to Kitty like that.

As Doc left the cemetery, he automatically started back for Dodge, for his office and his patients. But he couldn't bring himself to go back to work. Not just yet. Usually he took solace from the horribleness of his chosen profession by burying himself in more work.

The death of an elderly patient was sad but was offset by the birth of a healthy new baby. The sudden and senseless death of a man or woman on the frontier was made a little less tragic when he was able to save the life of some other pioneer or a child who could grow up to make the world a better place.

But he didn't think that would work as a balm in this instance, as it was work that killed the woman he loved.

From the moment he'd met the fiery and dedicated physician, she'd both irritated and intrigued him completely. He had been so positive that a woman had no business being a doctor that he'd almost sent her packing before she could prove to him that he was wrong. He was now both pleased and chagrined that she'd pushed past his bigotry towards women doctors and showed him a woman could do the job as well as a man.

Flicking the reins, Doc made a decision as he drove. Quickly steering the buggy to the north, Doc made his way to Spring Creek, to what he'd thought was his private fishing spot. But it hadn't been private and it was there that Festus had brought Sam and there that she'd caught his catfish and truth be known, his heart as well.

When Doc finally did return to Dodge, it was with a certain amount of agreement with reality. Sam was gone. He wouldn't be able to bring her back and he would always mourn her loss. But he had to go on. Deciding that perhaps burying himself in work wasn't such a bad idea after all, Doc did just that.

For three days following her funeral, the old physician traveled for miles, seeing one patient after another, talking to very few and saying nothing to the people in town who cared the most for him. He had to deal with his own pain before he could help them deal with theirs and allow them to help him.

It took a lot of soul searching and prayer and silent tears, but finally Doc got through the worst of it. There would always be a part of him that ached for the lovely woman that had claimed his heart. And he would never forget her. But like the young girl, Ellen, that he had loved as a young man; Doc had found a way to accept her death and make peace with it.

As he drove down the darkened street, he didn't see the people who loved him watching anxiously as he climbed from his buggy and headed for his stairs. He only saw Sam's shingle, which still hung beneath his. Pulling it down, he took it up to his office and laid it down. Remembering the brandy, Sam had given him; Doc pulled it out and poured some into a glass.

"Sam McTavish, M.D." He read her beloved name from the plaque. "You bet." He nodded in partial agreement to its message. But she was more than a medical doctor to him. She was the woman that he would always forever love and hold in his heart until one day, he could see her again.

End.