KLA (3)
This is for DodgeCityAngel
Kitty carefully counted the bottles in the case and checked it against the figures on the clipboard she held. It seemed each time she took inventory it took longer and was more exasperating than the time before, but it was part of her business and it had to be done.
Once she'd confirmed that the contents matched her sheet, she turned, laid the clipboard down and turned again to move the crate only to find it already moved and a tall lawman standing next to where it had been.
"Matt!" She lightly scolded. "What are you doing here? Scared the wits out of me."
Matt chuckled. "Oh, I doubt that. You seem to have plenty of wits still about you."
Kitty shook her head with a smile at his teasing. "What are you doing here?" She asked again. "I thought you had to take some papers out to Jake Worth or something."
"Nope, I got Newly to do that for me." He smiled as he took a step closer and tentatively reached out, pulling her into his arms. It'd been three days since Will Stambridge had left on the stage and though the tenseness between them had eased, things still weren't where he wanted them and Kitty still seemed to hold herself back some.
Kitty looked up at him curiously. "Why?"
"Huh?" He frowned.
"Why did you send Newly when you usually do it and why did you come over here?" She patiently answered.
After Will had left town, she and Matt had gone over to the Long Branch and had their drink but little less. They knew they needed to talk but they couldn't seem to get to that point. Instead, they made polite chit chat and nodded at the patrons who greeted them, but little else.
They needed to make some changes and they both knew it, but so far, not too many changes had been made by either one. She'd gone back to her job as had he and to all who observed them, things were back to normal, which wasn't necessarily where either wanted them.
"Oh." He grinned, as he draped his arms around her and pulled her closer. "Well, I kinda had it in mind to take a certain woman, I know, out on a picnic and I couldn't do that if I was out of town. So I sent Newly out of town instead. Those papers weren't anything important. I have Festus watching over things in town. And as for why I came here….. Well, you are that certain woman."
Kitty looked up at him with a hint of surprise and more than a hint of consternation.
"I told you, Matt." She replied seriously. "You don't have to make anything up to me. In fact, I need to make some things up to you. I…"
"Stop right there." He shushed her. "This isn't about making things up for either of us. This is about resetting some things and perhaps restarting them." He studied her face intently. "I want to do this, Kitty. Will you let me?"
Kitty leaned up and kissed him seldom able to tell him no. "When do you want to go?"
"Right now." He smiled.
Kitty's surprise showed on her face as he led her out of the store room and out into the bar room, never letting go of her as they walked. When they reached the street outside, she was even more surprised to see her buggy waiting with a large hamper in back, a couple of fishing poles and a blanket all waiting in the boot.
"How long have you been planning this?" She asked curiously.
"A while." He admitted with a grin as he helped her up into the buggy and started it off in the direction of Spring Creek.
The drive there was quiet but pleasant. Neither one felt like talking and neither one wanted to disturb the peace that existed between them right then. Sitting back in the buggy, Kitty laid her head on Matt's shoulder and was happily rewarded when he moved his arm and draped it around her, pulling her even closer.
When they arrived, the silence continued as they climbed out of the buggy, spread the blanket and pulled down the hamper and poles. While Matt took care of the horse, Kitty pulled out the meal Matt had brought and was surprised that he'd included all of her favorite things to eat.
Questionably she looked up at him when he approached and sat down beside her. "I thought you said this wasn't about making anything up."
"Well." He shrugged with a grin. "I didn't say there wouldn't be any making up; just that it wasn't what this was about."
Kitty silently studied him while she fixed each of them a plate of food. "How do we start, Matt?" She finally asked with a sigh.
"Simply and slow." He answered, looking over at her. "I think we need to go back to the basics, Kitty. Back to just us."
"I thought that was what the trip to St. Louis was about." She answered softly. She truly didn't want to get into this all again, but Matt was right. They needed to get all of this out and dealt with. "We were going to reset things after Arizona."
Matt nodded. "It was and I let my job stop that from happening. I…"
"No, now, wait a minute, Matt." Kitty raised a hand to stop him. "I admit I was upset and hurt that you came back to Dodge instead of going on with me but I know it was your job and…"
"It was my job to show the woman I love that I love her." Matt reached over and took her hand, glad she didn't pull it away. "I did have to come back, Kitty. I didn't have a choice in the matter. But I didn't have to treat you the way I did. I acted like your feelings didn't matter. I said I understood but I what I understood was that my job needed me, not that you did too. I'm sorry about that."
Kitty studied their entwined hands silently. His was so powerful and yet so soft as it held hers. It was like them. He was strong and yet gentle, hard when needed and yet kind by nature. And her hand was so small and overwhelmed and yet protected within his as she was within in his arms.
Finally, she looked up at him. "I guess we both made mistakes, Matt. But I want you to know, I never set out to hurt you. But I was hurt. When you left the stage relay station, even though I refused to go back with you, it felt just like one more rejection. Like…"
"Like a closet full of dresses you couldn't wear anywhere because I was never there to take you anyplace." Matt finished for her.
"Yeah," Kitty took a deep a breath. "Like that." She dropped her head again. "I'm sorry, Matt. I know you didn't mean it to be like that. No more than I meant to flaunt Will in front of you, like I've heard some people say. Will offered me something, I thought I lacked. He was attentive and free with his time. He showed me affection in public and wasn't ever afraid to show his interest in me. And he was offering me a home and children and more than just a few memories."
She knew what she was saying was hurting Matt in a way, but it had to be said. "I know your reasons, Matt, for not giving me those things. And I've never questioned them before but I was just… just…" She stopped looking for the right word. "I was just wanting something I couldn't have, I guess. Something I'd given away the rights to a long time ago."
She looked up at him, making certain he understood. "When I agreed to be with you, I agreed to accept you as you were. I agreed to accept the fact that you didn't want to marry or have a family and I…"
"And yet you still thought that someday, some far off someday, I would change." Matt's voice held a sorrowful timbre she'd never heard before. "I'm sorry, Kitty. I wanted to be everything that you wanted me to be. I wanted to marry you and have a family but…"
"It's not in you." She sighed. "I guess, I've always known that. Just like I've always known that you love me but you held me separate from the other part of your life."
"I did." Matt agreed. "But not like you think. I held you closer and perhaps dearer but I'm afraid I didn't show you that too often.'
Moving over closer to her, Matt gently placed one hand on her shoulder and used the other to lift her chin so that they could meet, eye to eye. "I meant what I said, Kitty. I want to reset some things between us. I want what happened to me in Arizona and what happened here with Stambridge, to be put away and replaced with what happens between us. That is, if you want it."
Kitty mutely nodded as she threw her arms around him, holding him tightly, afraid to let him go. "I love you, Matt Dillon." She whispered in his ear. "No woman has ever loved a man like I love you. And I would do anything for you."
Matt lightly pushed her back and brushed away the tears that had started rolling down her cheeks. "The only thing I want you to do is forgive me and agree to give me a chance to make things right between us again. Will you do that?"
Kitty shook her head. "Nothing to forgive and we both need to make things right."
Matt pulled her back to him, wrapping his long arms around her and gently rocking her back and forth. "Then lets start now."
Late that evening, two contented, sated lovers, drove back into Dodge under a full moon and a haven of stars. They had talked, made love and talked some more and though their circumstances hadn't changed their mindset had to a degree.
Matt still didn't want to marry, Kitty still did but they accepted that about the other and found a way to work around it. It wasn't going to be easy or perfect and both knew that sooner or later they might come back to this place in the same shape as they were this day, but they decided to push that thought away. At least for the time being and hope for that far off someday.
END