The next G-8 meeting took place in Columbia, South Carolina. While it was unusual for America to place his meetings in the south other than Atlanta, America decided that they should change up the scene. The others agreed as long as no more tornados came and destroyed their meeting. While the flight to the capital of the state had been simple, Russia soon discovered that he had no idea where he was when he attempted to walk to meeting building from his hotel.
"I swear, America's south is like walking in an oven." Russia grumbled as he looked at the GPS on his phone.
"Do ya' need help?" An old lady asked as she passed Russia.
"Da. I mean yes." Russia said as he looked down at the little old lady looking happily up at him.
"Yes ma'am." She cheerfully corrected him.
"Um, yes ma'am." Russia said, blinking in surprise.
"Figured as much." The old lady chuckled. "Ya' don't look like you're from around here. Where ya' trying to get to young man?"
"I'm trying to get to the capital building. Do you know how to get there Mrs.…?" Russia asked uncertainly.
"Mrs. Miller." The old woman said. "Yes, I know the way there. You're not that far off in fact. If ya' take the next right and walk about five blocks you should be right there."
"Oh, I guess I just passed it twice." Russia said with an embarrassed smile.
"Oh, bless your heart." Mrs. Miller said as she patted Russia's arm. "It happens to the best of us. Well, you have a good day young man. And for goodness sakes, take off that heavy coat, you'll get heat stroke."
"Yes ma'am." Russia said. With that, Mrs. Miller gave him one last smile and walked off. Bewildered, Russia walked down to the capital building and into the meeting room.
"Russia, dude, where have you been?" America asked as Russia walked in.
"I was getting my heart blessed by an old woman." Russia said looking confused.
"What are you talking about?" America asked looking at Russia like he had just grow two heads.
"An old lady who was giving me directions said "Bless your heart."" Russia said with a shrug.
As Russia said this, America started to chuckle. "Aw man, burned by an old lady."
"What do you mean?" England asked.
"Dude, when someone from the south says "Bless your heart", it usually means they think you're an idiot, or they feel sorry for you." America said with a smirk. "The south is a great place for passive aggressive burns."
"Oh, I thought she was just a strange old lady." Russia said thoughtfully as he sat down.
"She might have meant it in a nice way." America said. "You just can't tell with the people down here. For example, when I was arguing with a woman the other day in a store, she called me sweetheart. Man, did that ever annoy me."
"Why would that annoy you?" Italy asked.
"Well, this is the way she said it." America said. Putting on a sweetly sarcastic tone, America started to mimic the woman. "Listen Sweetheart, I don't got time for your nonsense."
"Wow, that is annoying." Prussia said.
"The south has an annoying yet charming way to say fuck you in such a way that you don't know if they mean fuck you or are being nice." America said with a grin. "One of their trademark ways is by saying bless your heart."
"But why wasn't that old lady afraid of me?" Russia asked.
"Was here name Mrs. Miller?" America asked.
"Da, it was!" Russia said in surprise. "Do you know this woman?"
"Yeah, I served in the army with her husband in the Vietnam war." America said. "Woman's tough as nails, and can kick butt if needed. Her husband still hangs out with me time to time."
"That's rather interesting. I should talk to her again, she seems nice." Russia said.
A/N: Ok, I'm sorry for writing this chapter in my usual format after my super awesome chapter last time. I have disappointed myself. :( But I didn't really know how to write this one. (You know, it's kind of sad that I can't write a southern accent when I was born in the south.) However, the south is famous for telling people to fuck off and go to hell in ways that seem nice. And yes, bless your heart has many meanings. Depending on how it's used, it can mean they think you're an idiot, they feel sorry for you, they want to show sympathy, or they have no idea what to say. So you better pay attention. (oh, and on a side note in order to show signs of respect to people who are older than you in the south, (mostly adults), you refer to them as Sir or Ma'am. I personally use Mr. and Mrs. As I find Sir and Ma'am as too formal.)